The AW/SS/Deep Thoughts Thread

jshrop · February 2014

Better @Read247 & @crhein26

)

Happydance80 · February 2014

letsgobowlingx said:

So I've decided I'm just using this thread to post my completely random thoughts and findings

ETA: whoa this pictures huge...sorry I have no idea how to resize it

Holy shit this made me bust out laughing!

kibean · February 2014

shannonliggett said:

Speaking of cookie dough Oreos, I heard a commercial that Dunkin Donuts has brownie batter and cookie dough donuts?? Must... get them...

OMG stop. I want it now. Also a confession: I am supposed to be trying to lose weight but so far today I have done nothing but eat. To include a milkshake, a (tiny) piece of cheesecake, and chocolate covered peanut brittle. I better hope I can pull it together before my next appointment or I am for sure in for a lecture.

JulieSmiles · February 2014

Seeing pictures of what everyone looks like really is weirding me out. I'm sorry, but in my mind, each of you will always look like the picture in your siggy. So, @jmar2011, you are Amanda Seyfriend. @Read247 looks like J Law and sadly, @letsgobowlingx I will only be able to imagine you as a super smart dog who can communicate.

Ashes92813 · February 2014

@Happydance80, I just sent that meme to all of my siblings!!!! Poor Peyton. But it did make me laugh.

robbinrl · February 2014

I realized earlier tonight that I forgot my due date for my loss - it was Friday. I can't believe I forgot especially considering all of the horrible losses the ladies here experienced recently. I don't know, I'm just feeling a little lousy about forgetting - like I should have done something special to remember.

On a more related note, I made valentines brownies that I found at my parent's with a best buy date of November 2012 - they were still tasty.

kibean · February 2014

robbinrl said:

I realized earlier tonight that I forgot my due date for my loss - it was Friday. I can't believe I forgot especially considering all of the horrible losses the ladies here experienced recently. I don't know, I'm just feeling a little lousy about forgetting - like I should have done something special to remember. On a more related note, I made valentines brownies that I found at my parent's with a best buy date of November 2012 - they were still tasty.

My due date for my loss was also this week. I didn't remember until I got some email from a website mentioning it (must have been something I signed up for before). I totally get what you are saying about feeling lousy for forgetting, but I am also kind of grateful to my mind for protecting me and keeping me from having to reexperience those feelings. It sounds bad to say, and I am in no way trying to downplay the life of my LO that was lost, but I am sure this week would be much harder if I was not pregnant.

crhein26 · February 2014

jshrop said:

Better @Read247 & @crhein26 )

Much! I don't want to toss my cookies now!

Happydance80 · February 2014

Ashes92813 said:

@Happydance80, I just sent that meme to all of my siblings!!!! Poor Peyton. But it did make me laugh.

I couldn't choose who to root for because I have close friends in Seattle but I have always really liked Peyton. BUT I've gotten this exact phone call from my son so when applying that tone it totally just cracks me up!

Read247 · February 2014

JulieSmiles said:

Seeing pictures of what everyone looks like really is weirding me out. I'm sorry, but in my mind, each of you will always look like the picture in your siggy. So, @jmar2011, you are Amanda Seyfriend. @Read247 looks like J Law and sadly, @letsgobowlingx I will only be able to imagine you as a super smart dog who can communicate.

I actually don't look anything like Jennifer Lawrence. Here's a recent pic:

Surprise! I'm not even blonde!!

robbinrl · February 2014

@kibean I didn't even think about how I would have been feeling if I was not pregnant now - I'm sure I would be a mess. I guess I can think about our hour of silence as honoring all losses including mine (and yours).

Lindsleigh77 · February 2014

kibean said:

robbinrl said:

I realized earlier tonight that I forgot my due date for my loss - it was Friday. I can't believe I forgot especially considering all of the horrible losses the ladies here experienced recently. I don't know, I'm just feeling a little lousy about forgetting - like I should have done something special to remember.

On a more related note, I made valentines brownies that I found at my parent's with a best buy date of November 2012 - they were still tasty.

My due date for my loss was also this week. I didn't remember until I got some email from a website mentioning it (must have been something I signed up for before). I totally get what you are saying about feeling lousy for forgetting, but I am also kind of grateful to my mind for protecting me and keeping me from having to reexperience those feelings. It sounds bad to say, and I am in no way trying to downplay the life of my LO that was lost, but I am sure this week would be much harder if I was not pregnant.

Mine is coming up this week on the 5th. Also my grandmas 80th birthday so trying to focus on that and LO....l feel the same way

Happydance80 · February 2014

This is going to be long and I'm not sure I have learned how to make paragraphs yet. I wasn't sure where else to post. At 7 weeks I started spotting. It was dark brown but alarming because that's how my two losses began. I called my OB and spoke with the nurse. She stated, "Ok you're spotting, let's talk about it. What color is it?" I said, "It's dark brown and I know that isn't supposed to be a big deal but that's how my two miscarriages started." She said, "Well we're not gonna think like that." Ummm WTF???? She is also the nurse that laughed at me- yes, laughed at me!- when I brought her three beta/progesterone results that I had done at my pcp prior to my appointment. (I had scheduled an IVF consultation with this doc but ended up pregnant a week before the appointment so I just had my pcp do my BW) I would think working for an RE she would understand the need for beta's but whatevs. Anyway, back to ridiculous phone call: She told me not to worry because she had a positive feeling about this. Again- WTF? So, I hung up the phone and cried hysterically and tried to think of options. Then I thought well maybe they don't want to bring me in for reassurance because of billing/insurance purposes. I called back and asked if I could just have an order and I would pay out of pocket at a radiology associates or something. She said, "If you want an ultrasound that bad you're gonna have to go to the ER." I said, "Ok, but will they do one?" She said, "I don't know but I"m not gonna write you an order just so you can have reassurance." Alright bitch, this conversation is over. I scoured the internet and found an elective ultrasound place that is not "for entertainment purposes only" and provides a report to your doc and everything. The tech's name is Barbara and she is really knowledgeable and awesome. She saw the bleed right away and surmised that it was from the placenta tearing away from the wall just a tiny bit and creating a pocket of blood. Baby was good, yay! I spotted off and on for 4 weeks and chose to go to her weekly until the first trimester was over. Honestly, it was the only way I would've gotten through it. Well, at 12 days post spotting I saw my OB for a regular appointment. He did another ultrasound, mentioned nothing about the bleed (though it was still visible). I said, "So... we just aren't gonna worry that I've been spotting for 12 days?" He was all, nah.. probably nothing. I said, "But I should probably continue pelvic rest?" To which he replied, "Nope. It'll be fine. But it'll probably make you spot more so don't be alarmed." Ok... The reason I told you the history is because I'm not comfortable talking with this dr or nursie nurse beyotch. Some of this is my problem as I am not always my best advocate. I had an elective scan again at 15 weeks and 18 weeks. Saw nothing wrong at 15 weeks and at 18 weeks found out the baby is a girl!! Woo hoo! But Barbara did see 2 choroid plexus cysts. She had already spent a lot of time on all of the organs and they looked fine. After she saw the cysts she wanted to look again and then saw the kidneys "mildly dilated but within normal limits." She said not to worry about the cysts or the kidneys. She believes that if there was actually a problem with the kidneys that she would've seen it at 15 weeks (We when saw her bladder fill and empty, etc...) and would've seen it the first time she looked during this particular ultrasound. She truly believes that she just happened to catch her in the act of creating urine. I have never even told my OB that I've had so many ultrasounds with Barbara because he has a God complex and has even written articles about he despises these places so I didn't feel the need to say anything until now. Also, he doesn't do the the a/s until 22 weeks and that isn't until next week. Not to mention they make a big deal of telling you that the scan will ONLY be for 15 minutes and costs $262.00 so you better know in advance what your copay is. (eff you). I feel like it's really important to tell him what Barbara found because I think the typical course of action, though they don't deem them any danger in most cases, is to refer you to MFM. I am just feeling SOOOO anxious about giving him the report and him being pissy with me. He's never actually been pissy with me but I'm not good at dealing with that. Also, I've lost all filter during this pregnancy and tend to flip my shit at the drop of a hat. Part of my anxiety too is that I haven't talked about these findings very much because it scares me so bad. Bluh- I guess my question is- I should talk to him right???

hubbs173 · February 2014

CDK211 said:

MegK82 said:

this baby may never have a name. my H and i have a hard time agreeing on names and he hates having to actually talk about names and this is going to be our third girl. at least we have middle names picked out to go with whatever name we end up choosing.

Same with us. We have a middle name, our son isn't going to have a first name ever. We can't agree.

Us too! Middle name will be Michael but we can't decide on a first name. So far we have Henry or Jacob, we just haven't been able to choose. I guess we still have some time to decide.

Read247 · February 2014

@happydance80 - personally I would find a new doctor. Is that an option??

JNerd · February 2014

I need those Oreos. They don't sell them here. Anyone wanna overnight me a package?

jshrop · February 2014

Happydance80 said:

This is going to be long and I'm not sure I have learned how to make paragraphs yet. I wasn't sure where else to post. At 7 weeks I started spotting. It was dark brown but alarming because that's how my two losses began. I called my OB and spoke with the nurse. She stated, "Ok you're spotting, let's talk about it. What color is it?" I said, "It's dark brown and I know that isn't supposed to be a big deal but that's how my two miscarriages started." She said, "Well we're not gonna think like that." Ummm WTF???? She is also the nurse that laughed at me- yes, laughed at me!- when I brought her three beta/progesterone results that I had done at my pcp prior to my appointment. (I had scheduled an IVF consultation with this doc but ended up pregnant a week before the appointment so I just had my pcp do my BW) I would think working for an RE she would understand the need for beta's but whatevs. Anyway, back to ridiculous phone call: She told me not to worry because she had a positive feeling about this. Again- WTF? So, I hung up the phone and cried hysterically and tried to think of options. Then I thought well maybe they don't want to bring me in for reassurance because of billing/insurance purposes. I called back and asked if I could just have an order and I would pay out of pocket at a radiology associates or something. She said, "If you want an ultrasound that bad you're gonna have to go to the ER." I said, "Ok, but will they do one?" She said, "I don't know but I"m not gonna write you an order just so you can have reassurance." Alright bitch, this conversation is over. I scoured the internet and found an elective ultrasound place that is not "for entertainment purposes only" and provides a report to your doc and everything. The tech's name is Barbara and she is really knowledgeable and awesome. She saw the bleed right away and surmised that it was from the placenta tearing away from the wall just a tiny bit and creating a pocket of blood. Baby was good, yay! I spotted off and on for 4 weeks and chose to go to her weekly until the first trimester was over. Honestly, it was the only way I would've gotten through it. Well, at 12 days post spotting I saw my OB for a regular appointment. He did another ultrasound, mentioned nothing about the bleed (though it was still visible). I said, "So... we just aren't gonna worry that I've been spotting for 12 days?" He was all, nah.. probably nothing. I said, "But I should probably continue pelvic rest?" To which he replied, "Nope. It'll be fine. But it'll probably make you spot more so don't be alarmed." Ok... The reason I told you the history is because I'm not comfortable talking with this dr or nursie nurse beyotch. Some of this is my problem as I am not always my best advocate. I had an elective scan again at 15 weeks and 18 weeks. Saw nothing wrong at 15 weeks and at 18 weeks found out the baby is a girl!! Woo hoo! But Barbara did see 2 choroid plexus cysts. She had already spent a lot of time on all of the organs and they looked fine. After she saw the cysts she wanted to look again and then saw the kidneys "mildly dilated but within normal limits." She said not to worry about the cysts or the kidneys. She believes that if there was actually a problem with the kidneys that she would've seen it at 15 weeks (We when saw her bladder fill and empty, etc...) and would've seen it the first time she looked during this particular ultrasound. She truly believes that she just happened to catch her in the act of creating urine. I have never even told my OB that I've had so many ultrasounds with Barbara because he has a God complex and has even written articles about he despises these places so I didn't feel the need to say anything until now. Also, he doesn't do the the a/s until 22 weeks and that isn't until next week. Not to mention they make a big deal of telling you that the scan will ONLY be for 15 minutes and costs $262.00 so you better know in advance what your copay is. (eff you). I feel like it's really important to tell him what Barbara found because I think the typical course of action, though they don't deem them any danger in most cases, is to refer you to MFM. I am just feeling SOOOO anxious about giving him the report and him being pissy with me. He's never actually been pissy with me but I'm not good at dealing with that. Also, I've lost all filter during this pregnancy and tend to flip my shit at the drop of a hat. Part of my anxiety too is that I haven't talked about these findings very much because it scares me so bad. Bluh- I guess my question is- I should talk to him right???

damn. Get a new doctor. He sounds like a asshat who deserves a dick punch.

Happydance80 · February 2014

Read247 said:

@happydance80 - personally I would find a new doctor. Is that an option??

Not really... I work for a hospice that is owned by the health network associated with the hospital I'll be delivering at. They are self insured so you HAVE to see one of the docs in the network. There are surprisingly few that could actually deliver at this hospital. It's the only one with a NICU so I don't feel comfortable going to any of the birthing centers or small hospitals. ETA: Also, it's just so surprising that he acts this way. He is the head of this fertility group and a big deal in this state. I've just wondered if maybe because I didn't end up doing IVF with him if he's just treating me worse??

Ashes92813 · February 2014

@happydance80, I second getting a new doctor. I'm hoping there are more options close to you?

jshrop · February 2014

It might be worth using a smaller hospital or birthing center where you might get better care and then being transferred if you need the NICU, but I'm also not that knowledgeable on that stuff.

Happydance80 · February 2014

joules235 said:

@happydance80
If you are on a computer you can make paragraphs by hitting the enter button but if you're on mobile I think it probably different for every phone. I have an enter button on my phone keyboard

I think you should look into switching care providers, it doesn't sound you are comfortable with the doctor or the care you are getting.

I am pushing enter so that's strange... I"m going to try again. Please Work. Do you all know of anyone that has switched OB's mid pregnancy and it was ok?

Read247 · February 2014

Happydance80 said:

joules235 said:

@happydance80
If you are on a computer you can make paragraphs by hitting the enter button but if you're on mobile I think it probably different for every phone. I have an enter button on my phone keyboard

I think you should look into switching care providers, it doesn't sound you are comfortable with the doctor or the care you are getting.

I am pushing enter so that's strange... I"m going to try again. Please Work. Do you all know of anyone that has switched OB's mid pregnancy and it was ok?

Not personally, but it couldn't be worse than what you're experiencing now. (Knock on wood.) If he's not addressing your concerns he's not doing his job.

jshrop · February 2014

@happydance80, I have to type <*br> (without the *) to get my paragraph breaks.

katekat8721 · February 2014

@Happydance80 I would absolutely get a second opinion and talk to your current OB about what Barbara found. It's time to step up and be your own advocate, if not for you, then for the baby in your belly. You're going to have to get over your uncomfortableness and try to look out for your baby.

From what it sounds like you probably had an SCH. While scary, there's really nothing the docs can do about it other than tell you to take it easy. Your doctor sounds like a huge douche though, he should have at least taken a look, explained it to you, and told you not to worry. This cyst though is a little bit more serious and needs to be seriously looked at. I would tell them upfront that you went to a private ultrasound clinic (maybe don't say elective) after you had concerns about spotting that they weren't following up on. There the technician was able to see the cysts and suggested that you mention it at your appointment.

Good luck girlie. I know it's uncomfortable dealin with doctor's with God complexes but you have to look after you and the baby.

Happydance80 · February 2014

The way it works at these hospitals is that if your baby ends up needing a NICU they get mediflighted and you don't get transferred to the hospital they are at. You just have to wait until d/c to go see your baby. That thought gives me so much anxiety. Up until that scan I wasn't super concerned about his douchiness but I want this handled appropriately.

Happydance80 · February 2014

katekat8721 said:

@Happydance80 I would absolutely get a second opinion and talk to your current OB about what Barbara found. It's time to step up and be your own advocate, if not for you, then for the baby in your belly. You're going to have to get over your uncomfortableness and try to look out for your baby.

From what it sounds like you probably had an SCH. While scary, there's really nothing the docs can do about it other than tell you to take it easy. Your doctor sounds like a huge douche though, he should have at least taken a look, explained it to you, and told you not to worry. This cyst though is a little bit more serious and needs to be seriously looked at. I would tell them upfront that you went to a private ultrasound clinic (maybe don't say elective) after you had concerns about spotting that they weren't following up on. There the technician was able to see the cysts and suggested that you mention it at your appointment.

Good luck girlie. I know it's uncomfortable dealin with doctor's with God complexes but you have to look after you and the baby.

I totally agree. I think I just needed to actually talk about the situation because I've been holding it all in. Only two people outside of my DH know what Barbara found and I've had to shut my brain off about the whole thing to cope with it.

He knows who Barbara is because apparently a lot of his patients see her. Jesus- There's your sign. Ugh.. Ok, I'm not going to beat myself up for being a wimp but tomorrow I'm standing up for Charly (Yes, SS moment there- that's baby girl's name) and making sure I discuss this shiz with him. If he is a douche about it I will get over further anxiety and get a new OB. Boom.

jshrop · February 2014

@happydance80, good luck! Also, love the name, our little girl is also Charlie

Happydance80 · February 2014

@jshrop Hells yeah, I did it ! Thanks!

Happydance80 · February 2014

jshrop said:

@happydance80, good luck! Also, love the name, our little girl is also Charlie

Aww that's awesome!!! Do you have a middle name picked out? I chose the name/spelling from my dad and Kay is her middle name from my mom (Both are deceased). I think she's actually going to have two middle names (Kay Marie) after Dh's grandma.

katekat8721 · February 2014

Happydance80 said:

katekat8721 said:

@Happydance80 I would absolutely get a second opinion and talk to your current OB about what Barbara found. It's time to step up and be your own advocate, if not for you, then for the baby in your belly. You're going to have to get over your uncomfortableness and try to look out for your baby.

From what it sounds like you probably had an SCH. While scary, there's really nothing the docs can do about it other than tell you to take it easy. Your doctor sounds like a huge douche though, he should have at least taken a look, explained it to you, and told you not to worry. This cyst though is a little bit more serious and needs to be seriously looked at. I would tell them upfront that you went to a private ultrasound clinic (maybe don't say elective) after you had concerns about spotting that they weren't following up on. There the technician was able to see the cysts and suggested that you mention it at your appointment.

Good luck girlie. I know it's uncomfortable dealin with doctor's with God complexes but you have to look after you and the baby.

I totally agree. I think I just needed to actually talk about the situation because I've been holding it all in. Only two people outside of my DH know what Barbara found and I've had to shut my brain off about the whole thing to cope with it.

He knows who Barbara is because apparently a lot of his patients see her. Jesus- There's your sign. Ugh.. Ok, I'm not going to beat myself up for being a wimp but tomorrow I'm standing up for Charly (Yes, SS moment there- that's baby girl's name) and making sure I discuss this shiz with him. If he is a douche about it I will get over further anxiety and get a new OB. Boom.

You're not a wimp mama, it's ok to talk it out. You will do great tomorrow. Just take a deep breath, tell yourself "This is for Charly!" and go get 'em! Good luck!!

Happydance80 · February 2014

katekat8721 said:

Happydance80 said:

katekat8721 said:

@Happydance80 I would absolutely get a second opinion and talk to your current OB about what Barbara found. It's time to step up and be your own advocate, if not for you, then for the baby in your belly. You're going to have to get over your uncomfortableness and try to look out for your baby.

From what it sounds like you probably had an SCH. While scary, there's really nothing the docs can do about it other than tell you to take it easy. Your doctor sounds like a huge douche though, he should have at least taken a look, explained it to you, and told you not to worry. This cyst though is a little bit more serious and needs to be seriously looked at. I would tell them upfront that you went to a private ultrasound clinic (maybe don't say elective) after you had concerns about spotting that they weren't following up on. There the technician was able to see the cysts and suggested that you mention it at your appointment.

Good luck girlie. I know it's uncomfortable dealin with doctor's with God complexes but you have to look after you and the baby.

I totally agree. I think I just needed to actually talk about the situation because I've been holding it all in. Only two people outside of my DH know what Barbara found and I've had to shut my brain off about the whole thing to cope with it.

He knows who Barbara is because apparently a lot of his patients see her. Jesus- There's your sign. Ugh.. Ok, I'm not going to beat myself up for being a wimp but tomorrow I'm standing up for Charly (Yes, SS moment there- that's baby girl's name) and making sure I discuss this shiz with him. If he is a douche about it I will get over further anxiety and get a new OB. Boom.

You're not a wimp mama, it's ok to talk it out. You will do great tomorrow. Just take a deep breath, tell yourself "This is for Charly!" and go get 'em! Good luck!!

Oh God. That made me cry. But in a good way. Thanks so much for listening. I really feel like an SS now :-)

jshrop · February 2014

Happydance80 said:

jshrop said:

@happydance80, good luck! Also, love the name, our little girl is also Charlie

Aww that's awesome!!! Do you have a middle name picked out? I chose the name/spelling from my dad and Kay is her middle name from my mom (Both are deceased). I think she's actually going to have two middle names (Kay Marie) after Dh's grandma.

yes! her full name is Charlotte Memphis. We call her Charlie. It's a homage to my grandpa and a badass female movie character (Long Kiss Goodnight anyone??). Anyway, As soon as hubs offered Charlie as an option, it was a done deal. We just had to figure out a "grown up name" for when she becomes an adult

Puka99 · February 2014

My favorite show ever!

Happydance80 · February 2014

@jshrop Oh I love that!!! And I totally forgot about that movie/character!! All the Charlie's I've ever heard of were on t.v. and they are always bad ass/gorgeous!

Happydance80 · February 2014

@CDK211 Yes! This is his last chance! If he even remotely gives me shit about getting an elective ultrasound or dismisses what Barbara found then he is outie 5000. I expect him to say that the CPC are beginning to be considered a normal part of development as that is what the internet is saying. Yet, I also expect him to say he will have the u/s tech pay special attention to that and the kidneys when we see her next week for a/s. I also think he will say that this is exactly why he doesn't do the a/s before 22 weeks because they are typically resolved by then and nobody would ever even know they had been there. The fact remains, though, that I had an u/s before 22 weeks and they were present and he SHOULD care. So, if he doesn't, he is out.

ElTrain5 · February 2014

Puka99 said:
My favorite show ever!

Daria!!!

Also, these are AMAZING.

Happydance80 · February 2014

@CDK211 Thank you so much!

chickpea912 · February 2014

jmar2011 said:

@chickpea912 when I saw tour new siggy pic I thought it was a scene from the show Betrayal, and then when I realized it wasn't, I felt like I was looking in at a very intimate moment between you 2, you guys look so in love and adorable!

I couldn't find one of their gifs, but enjoy their photo anyway

@jmar2011 Sorry to deceive but it isn't us - it's from Mansfield Park.

LaurelJoy91 · February 2014

chickpea912 said:

jmar2011 said:

@chickpea912 when I saw tour new siggy pic I thought it was a scene from the show Betrayal, and then when I realized it wasn't, I felt like I was looking in at a very intimate moment between you 2, you guys look so in love and adorable!

I couldn't find one of their gifs, but enjoy their photo anyway

@jmar2011 Sorry to deceive but it isn't us - it's from Mansfield Park.

Argh, I was hoping that was really you, because I was also thinking about commenting on how passionate of a couple you appeared to be.

chickpea912 · February 2014

@laureljoy91 Sorry! We are a way boring old married couple of ten years.

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