The AW/SS/Deep Thoughts Thread

kellyjayne

 This SS thread seems like a good place for my vent. I absolutely despise my best friends boyfriend....there is nothing positive about him, and the thought of him makes me want to jump head first out of my 19th floor window.

Backstory - I have been friends with this girl since we were 5. Grew up together, went to college together, lived together after college...anyway, we went to high school with this guy, he was a year younger than us and I never really knew him. He was quiet, a good athlete, seemed like a nice enough guy. About 3 years ago, Erin (best friend) was living back in our home town and started dating this guy. Fell in love, seemed happy. Every time we ever hung out together, he was a total douche. At first it was just getting too drunk and saying rude, off-colored comments. Then, I started to notice that he was insanely jealous and controlling. Erin hugged one of our long-time guy friends, who was with his fiance, and her boyfriend got so angry and jealous that he ripped my back gate off of it's hinges. More and more starts coming out that he is physically and mentally abusive, oh, and surprise! Addicted to heroin. Totally a person that I want to hang out with, said no one ever.

Abuse continues, heroin addiction gets worse, DH and I convince her that she needs to move to Denver with us to get away and start over. She lived with us for 10 months, we never asked her to pay rent, buy groceries, pay utilities, or even pay for dog food for her dog. We took care of everything to help her save money and get back on her feet. Meanwhile, this guy moved to California with his family to get away. About 3 weeks before she moved out, she told me she was getting back together with this peach. Cue strong feelings of anger, betrayal and disgust on my end. We have talked numerous times about how I don't really think the relationship is healthy, but she wants nothing to do with it. She says she loves him and he has changed. Of course he has....

He had one chance to prove to us that he isn't a complete asshat in November. He flew in for a friends wedding, and long story short, made the bride cry, insulted the grooms mother, made another one of our friends cry, we had to file a missing person report on my friend and he spent the night in jail. He flipped out because he thought she was cheating on him with one of our friends - all who were there with either their fiance or their wife. So, the next day she tells me that she now understands that he has jealously issues that he will never get over, their relationship is toxic and it can't work. Yaye! My excitement was short-lived because 3 days later she told me she is moving to California to be with him. What? Apparently he is the only person who cares about her or supports her. Yeah, because that entire 10 months you lived with us and I did everything I could to support you and make you happy, that was all pretend.

I just saw on facebook that he sent her flowers with a card that said "I know things seem hard right now, but they will get better soon"...yeah, I can't wait for you to control her, beat her and continue to brainwash her into thinking none of her friends and family care about her. She will be right where he wants her - in a state where she doesn't have anyone except him and his family, convinced that everyone who cares about her is actually against her. The worst part is, I know that there is absolutely nothing that I can do or say that will change her mind, or convince her that this is very, very bad. She is going to have to figure it out first hand, and I'm afraid that in order to do that, something severe and devestating is going to happen.

If you read that, here is a cookie, french fries, or a hot man. Take your pick!

lest12

emotionlotion said:

lest12 said:

@letsgobowlingx - that is awesome!  I'm very jealous.  I would have wanted to try all the food, too.

 

@abastian00 - I'm always mesmerized by your wedding picture.  Where was that shot taken? 

 

My random question for you ladies today - are you any more precautious with the bad weather? 

I never like driving in the snow, but you know, this is New England, it's a way of life.  But this whole winter, every time it snows or is predicted to snow, my coworkers are all "Stay home, you're pregnant, you can't drive in this!  Baby's safety comes first!" 

I think they are being a little bit crazy... but we are supposed to get 6-10 inches starting tomorrow morning until about 1:00, so right through the morning commute.  Are they on to something? 

I get being a little more cautious, but we do live in New England and it is so different up here than in other places when it snows. The main roads mostly get plowed and generally people know how to drive. (all with exceptions of course!)

I have a 40 minute walk to work and have walked on every snow/ice day this year. I'm just extra cautious, and I wear Yak Trax on my shoes for the slippery spots. I think if you have a short enough commute and can make it in, just drive slow. It really depends on the job though. I work at Whole Paycheck and it really puts the team in a bind when one person, let alone the amount on snow days, calls out. And I work with another pregnant lady (my boss) who has straight up said she will not come to work when it's snowing even though she lives a 5 minute walk. So I've made a commitment to myself to just get there. If I really truly can't (getting knocked over by the wind, being pelted in the face by ice falling, Yak Trax not doing their job....) I would call out but so many people do it and oh man, do we juuuuuuuudge them when they do. 

I get most annoyed the people side eye me when I walk to work in a snow storm, like I'm intentionally trying to hurt my baby. Insulting to the core. 

@emotionlotion - my mom yelled at me for taking my dog for a walk during the snow storm a few weeks ago.  It was just beginning to snow, too, and there was nothing on the ground, so I don't understand what the big deal was?  People are silly.

People's opinions aside, I think I would actually feel more comfortable walking to work in a snow storm.  Maybe it is just me.  I am a nervous driver anyway, but I have always enjoyed bundling up and walking around, even in a blizzard.  I love to walk to the beach and see the ocean out of control, and have been doing it since I can remember, so a bad storm doesn't scare me as far as walking goes. 

Also, I admire your integrity!  I don't care enough about my office.  But then again, if I'm not there to do my job, it doesn't bother anyone else... it just means I'll have that much more work to do the next day!  

cas889

sempre_staccato said:

cas889 said:

My random thoughts for today:

I need to learn how to make chicken broth, because I love the broth from good chicken noodle soup (not canned), but I don't like celery, only sometimes like onions, and pretty much always think the chicken tastes dry.  But I seriously want to just drink the broth from the soup my husband brought home.

Where did said soup come from? It could be made from chicken bouillon, in which case all you do is boil water and drop the little cube in. I never make homemade chicken broth because I love the broth bouillon makes, which is really the same as saying I love salt.

It was from Boston Market.  Super high in sodium, but so tasty!!  

EmbracingChange

lalala8 said:

There's an asshole on 3rd tri if any of you guys are bored... 

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12250617/working-after-giving-birth/p1

I'll admit, my first thought after reading that was "I wonder which religion she identifies with?"

When DH and I were having our first I got a lot of "you want to go back to school? You want to be a Psychiatrist? Brain science is the work of the debbil. Your chirrens are doomed to hell if you don't stay home and teach them the Bible! If yo man wud any type o man, you wuddnt have ta werk! Yer jawb is to cook and clean for the chirrens even if in days in skewl!" From my southern Baptist family members. My aunt actually told me that women in the workforce were only there to steal the men folks away from their wives... Which seems logical because after all she was a single mom & waitress at Country Kitchen when she snagged my uncle away from his wife of 15 years.  

Oh and apparently being a diesel mechanic is a minimum wage job for him to have and "are you sure you want to marry him? Will you be happy with a minimum wage life?" Minimum wage? After 5 years in the Marines were added to his resume, his first job while still in college,-no degree. Hewas offered $15 an hour. My family was so right  

wtfisup

EmbracingChange said:

lalala8 said:

There's an asshole on 3rd tri if any of you guys are bored... 

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12250617/working-after-giving-birth/p1

I'll admit, my first thought after reading that was "I wonder which religion she identifies with?"

When DH and I were having our first I got a lot of "you want to go back to school? You want to be a Psychiatrist? Brain science is the work of the debbil. Your chirrens are doomed to hell if you don't stay home and teach them the Bible! If yo man wud any type o man, you wuddnt have ta werk! Yer jawb is to cook and clean for the chirrens even if in days in skewl!" From my southern Baptist family members. My aunt actually told me that women in the workforce were only there to steal the men folks away from their wives... Which seems logical because after all she was a single mom & waitress at Country Kitchen when she snagged my uncle away from his wife of 15 years.  

Oh and apparently being a diesel mechanic is a minimum wage job for him to have and "are you sure you want to marry him? Will you be happy with a minimum wage life?" Minimum wage? After 5 years in the Marines were added to his resume, his first job while still in college,-no degree. Hewas offered $15 an hour. My family was so right  

I cracked up at your rendition of how people respond re: going back to work. 

No one who knows me would even question it: I love my job; I love my child, but I'm not all "YAY I'LL BE A MOMMY !" 

But, yeah, that poster is too much asshole to even imagine. If everyone had to wait until they could live off one income to have a kid, much of the US would never have a kid. Also, FUCK THAT SEXISM.

Ashes92813

I think it's ok to be bothered by it. Especially when others around you are having them and even moreso if you've been to thousands of showers the past few years. Sometimes it stings when we feel left out, overlooked or life doesn't pay it forward.

I personally love throwing showers. I wish I could throw you one after hearing that.

mrsdbc said:

Is it stupid it actually is starting to bother me I will never have a baby shower? Family is spread far and wide in the US and I doubt they would travel for one, friends are global at this point and we haven't been here long enough to know enough people for a party. With ds every one in my fam threw a bitchfit about me being young and newly married so barely anyone sent him anything anyway. And all MIL wanted to do was a dinner with sil who lived around the corner to open gifts.
I just feel like everyone thinks I'm not doing anything worth celebrating by having babies so it shouldn't be acknowledged by anyone.
It sounds stupid but a bunch of my friends are having or talking about their showers and it's just making me feel sad/left out

LEO2010

lizardbreath14 said:

LEO2010 said:

babygabe614 said:

@LEO2010 where in NY? I grew up in Plattsburgh (Clinton county) so just wondering if you're up that far!

Central NY- we are about an hour east of Syracuse. Pretty far from snowy snowy Plattsburgh!

Me, too! Did we already talk about this? I can't remember, sorry!


No we didn't! Aw I love that there is another CNY Momma!

hubbs173

crhein26 said:

SS/AW - Not sure what this falls under but for all the June 4th Mamas out there....we are exactly 4 months from our DD.  I'm not sure if I should be scared or excited??

Yay for 4 months!!!!! I'm probably equal parts scared and excited!!!!!

Gbseder

Perhaps a good place to vent this annoyingness!

I know a girl who is pregnant who is 17 weeks and posting on Facebook that she is 5 months, 1 day along.... This is absurd if you ask me. It's not that I feel the need to be competitive as much as my need to correct her stupidity... Her explanation was:

"You're 5 and a half months - (2 weeks into your 6 month). I Just finished out my 4th month and am in the 1st day of my 5th. 20 weeks I can say I am 5 months (FULL pregnant) 17 weeks in the FIRST week of the fifth month 0 i'm the first day in."

This just irks me for some reason. I suppose that's why most people talk in weeks because months get too confusing to count but claiming she's further along than she is just seems strange to me! Sorry!

Kinipela7

DH flew across the country today for work and will be back on Saturday and I can't stop crying.  This is so not normal.  Normally I welcome the alone time!

cristykaye

Ugh yesterday I totally passed out at my computer at work and busted my nose! Didn't even really know what had happened! Well went to doc, all is fine with baby but I got a referral to Nuero and cardiology. Anyways, thought all was good and went into work today, at almost the same damn time of te day I did it again only this time the guy beside me saw me and kind of talked me through it and told me to lay my head down so I didn't busy my face again!! It worked but I ended up going home. It's so frustrating because I have no idea what is causing it. Blood sugar and blood pressure were fine both days!! Ugh!!!
I guess this kinda falls under te AW category!!

Mztwilson

Is it weird I want this baby to stay in until my due date since it's my husbands birthday?

EmbracingChange

Goodness! I hope that stops!! That's scary!

diagonalley

I would just like to say that this is one of my favorite threads.  I totally appreciate and enjoy its randomness.  That is all.

kibean

I have to come up with a 6 word memoir for a work professional development assignment. I had never heard of this so I decided to look some up online and apparently there are books of these things. There is one on Amazon written by teens and some of those are really entertaining: "my mom had my boyfriend deported," or "according to Facebook, we broke up." 

Anyone ever done this?

Mine right now would be "All I really want is wine." Don't think they would appreciate that at work though

elsa1688

kibean said:

I have to come up with a 6 word memoir for a work professional development assignment. I had never heard of this so I decided to look some up online and apparently there are books of these things. There is one on Amazon written by teens and some of those are really entertaining: "my mom had my boyfriend deported," or "according to Facebook, we broke up." 

Anyone ever done this?

Mine right now would be "All I really want is wine." Don't think they would appreciate that at work though

Ha! I love yours!

katekat8721

@kibean - I like your idea!

@BrightEyes112 - it really is. They're so exhausting. Adorable, but exhausting.

kibean

BrightEyes112 said:

All I want is to go to bed and read for hours. I finally can tonight but I will probably fall asleep. Puppy sitting is HARD, yo.

Gbseder

lalala8 said:

@gbseder I cannot stand when people start saying that you're really pregnant for 10 mos, then start pretending a month has only 4 weeks (instead of 4.5)... your friend's "logic" hurts my brain.

Really and truly, from the day you conceive until your due date, you're pregnant for about 8 months and 3-3.5ish weeks.

The poor pregnancy math is a pet peeve of mine!

@lalala8... Thanks for the reply!! Her argument is so frustrating to me! It's as if I walked around telling people that I'm in my 32nd year of life rather than saying I'm 31 years old! She even posted a picture on Facebook and someone responded to her by saying "wow! Your bump is so tiny for 5 months!!" No shit!! Cause you aren't 5 months yet!!

ETA- now you have ME confused!! I see it as you have actually 10 months of pregnancy which is why you can claim 4 weeks per month (which is why 20 weeks would = 5 months)... Am I nuts?

cristykaye

Thanks for all your concern. It is super scary. DF is a doctor and I know he is down playing te seriousness so that I'm not as worried but he is in constant contact with my OB. I think I should be getting my referral appointment soon and will update as time goes on.
Thanks again.

JNerd

I had a total meltdown tonight because I found a new stretch mark. It is huge and I can feel my skin ripping as new ones form. And apparently the constant, stabbing pain on my hips is them spreading - so I am feeling out that I will never get my body back.
I have huge body issues so this terrifies me to no end and makes it very hard to keep with healthy-ish habits.

Also - am very bad at pregnant math.

JNerd

MegK82 said:

cristykaye said:

Ugh yesterday I totally passed out at my computer at work and busted my nose! Didn't even really know what had happened! Well went to doc, all is fine with baby but I got a referral to Nuero and cardiology. Anyways, thought all was good and went into work today, at almost the same damn time of te day I did it again only this time the guy beside me saw me and kind of talked me through it and told me to lay my head down so I didn't busy my face again!! It worked but I ended up going home. It's so frustrating because I have no idea what is causing it. Blood sugar and blood pressure were fine both days!! Ugh!!!
I guess this kinda falls under te AW category!!

@cristykaye that is definitely not AW category that's scary medical stuff category.  I hope they can figure out what is causing it!  I just had to go through some testing to figure out what was going on with my heart.  It thankfully is just an arrhythmia and the benign kind, which is the safest kind to have.  I haven't fainted, yet....but I know it's a possibility.  Please, keep us updated here or in the appointment thread, or even make your own thread if you'd like.
That is scary for both of you! @cristykaye I hope they are able to find what is causing this!
@megk82 - I'm glad yours was nothing too serious and that both you and LO are okay!

colllydon

cristykaye said:

Thanks for all your concern. It is super scary. DF is a doctor and I know he is down playing te seriousness so that I'm not as worried but he is in constant contact with my OB. I think I should be getting my referral appointment soon and will update as time goes on.
Thanks again.

Sorry your going through that! On the plus side your marrying a doctor! My mother would swoon haha

cristykaye

colllydon said:

cristykaye said:

Thanks for all your concern. It is super scary. DF is a doctor and I know he is down playing te seriousness so that I'm not as worried but he is in constant contact with my OB. I think I should be getting my referral appointment soon and will update as time goes on.
Thanks again.

Sorry your going through that! On the plus side your marrying a doctor! My mother would swoon haha

Haha that's funny! Thanks though. It is really nice to have him to ask questions to. Instead of always calling the doc. Problem is that he only had to do a few months of OB rotations so he is not really familiar with pregnancy stuff. He knows the basics and if a pregnant girl comes to the ER they always get sent to an OB anyways so he doesn't really have to deal with it!

RedMar

@lizardbreath14
@babygabe614
@LEO2010

I'm in Binghamton!!! woooo upstate NY!

JNerd

BrightEyes112 said:

JNerd said:

I had a total meltdown tonight because I found a new stretch mark. It is huge and I can feel my skin ripping as new ones form. And apparently the constant, stabbing pain on my hips is them spreading - so I am feeling out that I will never get my body back.
I have huge body issues so this terrifies me to no end and makes it very hard to keep with healthy-ish habits.

Also - am very bad at pregnant math.

I'm sorry jnerd. It sucks you are feeling that way.

I agree about the pregnant math. It confuses the shit out of me. I was like 20 weeks, yay halfway! But it wasn't 4.5 months away. So confused, and I am normally quite intelligent.

(Don't even bother trying to explain it for my sake. I won't get it and my eyes will glaze over as I am nodding, trying to look like I get it).

Thanks. I appreciate it.
And am with you on the eyes glazing over- I've always viewed pregnancy as 9full months and anything else just doesn't make sense to me.
Next week when I tell work I will be 22weeks or 5.5 months- and if the math is wrong, meh.

katekat8721

Damn, pregnancy math. I always thought it was 9.5 months pregnancy (give or take) and 40 weeks pregnant.

I just tell people the weeks. When they go "oh x amount of weeks, divided by 4..." I just don't correct them.

abastian00

joules235 said:

hahahahaha Crying kids are so funny

https://www.quickmeme.com/p/3vsm3j

Reasonsmysoniscrying is one of my favorite "blogs"!

hubbs173

I'm a SS and today is my birthday!!!!!! <:-P

hubbs173

letsgobowlingx said:

@hubbs173 - Happy Birthday!!!

Thanks!! I'm a huge Harry Potter nerd so I love the second pic!!!!!! And Leo isn't too bad to look at either!

RedMar

@joules235 - hey so since this is full of randomness, I figured id ask you a little more about hypnobabies/birthing. I have been on eBay and the cheapest I can find is like $95 (for babies). I searched amazon and found some books that look legit, but I want to get your opinion before I invest in anything. Also I know we've had discussions regarding this, but can't find the best place to purchase these materials- thanks!!!

RedMar

@hubbs173- Feliz cumpleanos!! (In spite of the coke commercial )

RedMar

@lizardbreath14- yeah it's still snowing.. But I have a snow day today!! So much better than this frigid frieking weather we've been having :-bd

Ashes92813

Happy birthday @hubbs173!!!

abastian00

joules235 said:

@abastian00 said:

joules235 said:

hahahahaha Crying kids are so funny

https://www.quickmeme.com/p/3vsm3j

Reasonsmysoniscrying is one of my favorite "blogs"!

Have you seen the one with the SAHD who writes hilarity on post it notes?
https://messagewithabottle.tumblr.com/

STOP! Parents like these are my inspiration - I hope I can be 10% as cool. As far as I can tell, a sense of humor is pretty much the only key to parenthood!

EmbracingChange

Here we go again fighting the snow.. Off to the doctor with a possible ear infection this time it's the girl child. 

While we're there I'll be having them look at DS too. He had a cavity fixed on Monday and bit his lip. Now its swelled up and yellow. Freakin gross! He says it doesn't hurt, but he's going anyway. 

LEO2010

lizardbreath14 said:

RedMar said:

@lizardbreath14
@babygabe614
@LEO2010

I'm in Binghamton!!! woooo upstate NY!

Sweet!  I went to college there, back in the day!  

Saw you guys on the weather this morning... Looks way worse than what we got here in the Mohawk Valley, although we have a lovely layer of ice underneath. Stay safe!

Hey- I'm in the Mohawk valley! I didn't think anyone would know what I was talking about if I said that! Doesn't really look any different from any other winter day here at my house so I'm not sure what all the fuss was- but I'll take the snow day!

kibean

@hubbs173 Happy Birthday!

Pepper6

SS time:  DH and I are trying to plan a weekend trip somewhere within driving distance (from AZ) sometime in late March/early April.  We thought about Vegas, but we've been several times and there's just not that much that we're interested in doing there except seeing a show, but then there's nothing to do during the day.  Any other suggestions?

Mike&Teresa

Happy Birthday @hubbs173!!!!