I met two other new moms in my area for coffee yesterday. One has a 9 week old and the other has one 5 days younger than DD.
The FFFC part: I felt so good about myself after coffee because they both were in yoga pants/sweatshirts, ponytails, no make up and their babies in sleepers...at noon. I was in jeans, hair done, make up on and DD was dressed really cute. I don't think that being a mom gives you the excuse to be a slob, especially in public. At home, fine!
Yesterday my husband went shopping with our LO. He was so excited he bought her several outfits including two sleeveless dresses. I didn't want to burst his bubble by telling him he should have gotten them larger since theyre sleeveless, While he's at work I'm going to go back and try to exchange them for bigger sizes without telling him.
You're a good wife. Dads need to not be constantly told they do this or that wrong. Sometimes the outfits my husband picks out in the morning are a little, well, strange, but he's proud of them and she's a baby so who cares. I just make a big fuss about how cute she looks and he walks away feeling good about his dad skillz.
@dh13 that is EXACTLY how I feel about my MIL. #youarenotalone
@bkeane you don't sound like a douche
I met two other new moms in my area for coffee yesterday. One has a 9 week old and the other has one 5 days younger than DD.
The FFFC part: I felt so good about myself after coffee because they both were in yoga pants/sweatshirts, ponytails, no make up and their babies in sleepers...at noon. I was in jeans, hair done, make up on and DD was dressed really cute. I don't think that being a mom gives you the excuse to be a slob, especially in public. At home, fine!
Flame away!
totes agree! Plus I always feel SO much better when I get dressed and actually do my hair and makeup.
I literally hate my MIL. Not just that animosity that most people have with their ILs, but I literally and completely hate her. She has continued to post passive aggressive statuses on FB about the way I choose to raise my daughter and she purposely tries to drive a wedge between her son and I, especially by criticizing our parenting choices. For example, the recent antics are:
1) She keeps telling everyone that A will have to wear a helmet because she has a flat spot on her head. False, my pedi has been keeping an eye on it and isn't so concerned with it. We were visiting this weekend and she kept badgering me to put her in the bouncer to protect her head, even though A hates it. Even after I said "no," she still went and got the seat. DH finally spoke up and told her that we are her parents and we know what is best for her.
2) Queen MIL asked the entire family to go to a swanky restaurant for her birthday (for example, DH and I had a bill of $150 before tip.. Ridiculous). FIL was so embarrassed that MIL was making her children pay for themselves since this was the only option for her to eat at and we would be shunned if we didn't go. He tried to pay for us, and she told him to shut up in front of the entire family. Awkward all around. So now I'm out $150 for a dinner to celebrate this loon.
3) I posted a video on FB of A playing a game on the iPad, and by playing a game, I mean smacking the screen and watching the lights. MIL proceeds with a public ass reaming of myself about how I am "burning out her corneas" .. I promise you I couldn't make this up if I tried. Anyways, I didn't even acknowledge it but other FB friends called her out with scientific evidence disproving her theories (best FB friends ever). Fast forward to yesterday, she posts another passive aggressive status detailing how her eyes are severely strained by looking at the iPad over her trifocals and trying to watch TV afterwards "just sayin" ... I can't with this woman.
I honestly would not be mad if I never had to see her face again.
Y'all should have skipped the birthday dinner. It would have saved you $150 and maybe being shunned wouldn't have been a bad thing! From the above stories, it sounds like it would be awesome for this woman to not want to talk to you!
I had caught the 24 hour flu earlier and was sick as shit and stuck in the bathroom. I called DH and had him come home. But I let DS CIO until I could leave the restroom. I could see him in his happy butt chair and tried to to talk to him. But I could not get him. He had bad gas and I couldn't do the usual walk/bounce for him. I felt awful and was so happy when DH got home to take him.
Flame away, I deserve it.
Don't be too hard on yourself. It is not like you were letting your LO CIO because you were being lazy. The other night DH had to completely care for our LO because I had such a bad migraine I was pretty much incapacitated. I don't know what I would have done had DH been off at work. We cannot be super women all the time.
I am going to make a craigslist purchase today. 1. I will have LO with me (we are meeting at a busy mall at noon). 2. I work remotely from home and will still be on the clock when I go to make this purchase. 3. I will still be unshowered, in yoga pants and sweatshirt, with my hair in a ponytail. #igivenofucks
DH comes back tomorrow night from a 2 week work training out of state. Between coordinating two events, a fussy LO, a sick DS1, and not feeling so hot myself I have gotten nothing on my to-do list done and the house is a wreck. To be honest, on the bit of free time I have had where I could be doing productive things, I have watched Netflix, done my nails, and other me-time things. I will be frantically cleaning tonight!
I live in the same town I grew up in, so whenever i go to the grocery store I avoid everyone who I went to high school with. I may even make eye contact..but I just pretend i didn't
TGP: Oi!!! I never wear makeup or do my hair and I will wear whatever goes well with a target nursing top. You wouldn't call me a slob, would you? (.....Think hard about your answer. I have my post it ready).
I can understand the makeup thing because it is kind of an extra. But, come on, if you're going to lunch, to meet new people and you put in no effort with yourself or your kid, whatsoever..,yeah I think it's being a slob.
I major side eye posters who say "they are starting solids soon because their LO is interested in watching you/Dh eat". What about the fact that your baby is starting to see further and further and is interested in everything? My baby loves watching the water run in the sink, should I give him water soon? Um, no. He also looks at the dog the same way... Also, the "my baby is 3m and showing signs of being ready for solids soon". How exactly is your three month old showing signs of being ready? Come on- I just don't buy that there are signs at 3m that a baby is ready for any solids anytime soon.
Next time why don't you just call me out? i thought we were done pussyfooting around on this board.
I also said we are still researching on what we want to and handle it. From what I understand on baby led weaning, the only thing my baby isn't doing yet is grabbing food off my plate as far as signs and can still improve on sitting up with support. But before you know it she will be doing those probably in the next few weeks.
would you rather I be prepared so we can make smart decisions or be a dumbass and just start with hot dogs?
Your post reminded me of the FFFC- your not the only one. Theres been several who've said it. So I felt no need to call you out directly. It's been on my confessionals list for a few weeks now and your post just sparked my memory. I totally agree that being prepared is smart, I just find it hard to believe that your 3m old is sitting up well without support, the tongue-trust reflex is gone, and baby is truly interested in foods. Like I said, your not the only one.
ETA: stemming from my UO yesterday...I just.couldn't.resist.
TGP: Oi!!! I never wear makeup or do my hair and I will wear whatever goes well with a target nursing top. You wouldn't call me a slob, would you? (.....Think hard about your answer. I have my post it ready).
I can understand the makeup thing because it is kind of an extra. But, come on, if you're going to lunch, to meet new people and you put in no effort with yourself or your kid, whatsoever..,yeah I think it's being a slob.
Eh. It's winter, it's cold. Bundle up. Plus, those are two moms who just had babies. Maybe they don't feel comfortable or fit in regular clothes yet. Yoga pants, nursing tanks, and sweatshirts FTW. I know I don't fit into any of my jeans yet and don't plan on buying new ones any time soon.
TGP: Oi!!! I never wear makeup or do my hair and I will wear whatever goes well with a target nursing top. You wouldn't call me a slob, would you? (.....Think hard about your answer. I have my post it ready).
I can understand the makeup thing because it is kind of an extra. But, come on, if you're going to lunch, to meet new people and you put in no effort with yourself or your kid, whatsoever..,yeah I think it's being a slob.
Babies in sleepers are slobs? No. And huge kudos to those women in being comfortable enough to meet new mommys without getting dolled up. It was a play date. Not a date date. Why do they need to get dressed up for it? If you feel more comfortable getting dressed up for it-great. But really, if you are trying to make new friends, maybe you shouldn't start the judging train quite so early.
Eleanor 1/8/10
Harriet 1/19/12
Margaret 10/31/2013
1) I've been wearing a raincoat to feed DD. I bought a bunch of new clothes (because I'm fat for life) and I don't want puke stains on them.
2) I dgaf about being fat for life. I'm another one who failed at the planking/sit up challenges. I lasted 2.5 days. I think I'm going to turn it into a 30 day cookie challenge. I will eat an increasing number of Oreos each day when I get my callout notification.
3) Those new clothes I mentioned are all work clothes. If I'm not at work, I'm definitely a member of the slob club. I'm not trying to impress anyone. #Idratherbecomfy
4) I might be a slob, but I almost always dress DD in something cute. Even if we're just sitting around the house.
TGP: Oi!!! I never wear makeup or do my hair and I will wear whatever goes well with a target nursing top. You wouldn't call me a slob, would you? (.....Think hard about your answer. I have my post it ready).
I can understand the makeup thing because it is kind of an extra. But, come on, if you're going to lunch, to meet new people and you put in no effort with yourself or your kid, whatsoever..,yeah I think it's being a slob.
Babies in sleepers are slobs? No. And huge kudos to those women in being comfortable enough to meet new mommys without getting dolled up. It was a play date. Not a date date. Why do they need to get dressed up for it? If you feel more comfortable getting dressed up for it-great. But really, if you are trying to make new friends, maybe you shouldn't start the judging train quite so early.
Not changing your kid out of a sleeper to go out of the house for more than a walk to the mailbox is being sloppy/slob ish to me, yeah. It's not that hard to change them. I think moms use the "I'm a new mom" excuse way too much. It's just lazy.
FWIW, I really liked both women, and plan on hanging out with them again. But I don't see why you can't put a little effort into at least dressing your child.
I'm supposed to be trying to get LO to nap in his crib and/or PNP during the day. I know the only way that's going to work is consistency. However, I'm reading Harry Potter (for the 9th time) and I get caught up and almost always miss my window of opportunity... Or I just want to keep reading. It's also making me a boring bumpie.
I only do my hair/makeup/dress up for work and special occasions. Most weekends for years have been yoga pants, pony tail, no makeup. I'm still sexy.
I also bump more than FB lately.
I didn't start the planking challenge bc I knew I wouldn't do it. I haven't done structured exercise since I got pregnant with dd....2.5 years ago. Not that I exercised much before, either.
I have an amazing deal at the gym I pay for yearly...but the only time I've gone in the last 2.5 years was to use the bathroom when I was in NYC.
1) I've been wearing a raincoat to feed DD. I bought a bunch of new clothes (because I'm fat for life) and I don't want puke stains on them.
2) I dgaf about being fat for life. I'm another one who failed at the planking/sit up challenges. I lasted 2.5 days. I think I'm going to turn it into a 30 day cookie challenge. I will eat an increasing number of Oreos each day when I get my callout notification.
3) Those new clothes I mentioned are all work clothes. If I'm not at work, I'm definitely a member of the slob club. I'm not trying to impress anyone. #Idratherbecomfy
4) I might be a slob, but I almost always dress DD in something cute. Even if we're just sitting around the house.
A raincoat?! L-O-L!!!!!!! I'm dying.
Lol It's not every time I feed her or anything. She was screaming for a bottle the other day and I didn't want to make her wait for me to run upstairs and get changed into my slob clothes. Then I figured it was a good way to go if I want to get all dressed and ready in the morning before I wake her to get her fed.
I never bought my MIL a Christmas gift. I told her I forgot it at the house but really, I forgot it at the store. I"m making her some scrapbook pages for her birthday(it's in 2 weeks), so I don't feel too terrible about the Christmas gift. Besides, she was/is being an asshat about LO. She fawned all over her 2 grandsons, never letting their feet hit the floor from holding them all the time but has held Ellie for MAYBE 6 hours total. She says she doesn't want to "monopolize the baby".
Bullshit. She resents MH because he resembles her ex(she divorced him 27 years ago, mind you) moreso than he does her.
@bkeane I totally think sleepers are adorable! I love DD in her sleepers...at home. I'm not someone who goes out of my house in my pajamas so why would I have my kid go out in them? Just my two cents
My fffc- I don't remember who said it, but that one comment about their SIL commenting on how the house would be a mess post baby and how proud they were bc their house is still very much clean and NOT a mess rubbed me the wrong way.
One reason it bothered me is because my house IS a wreck post baby and I've learned to let go a little bit, but I do miss my pre-baby spotless/dust free home. I only clean what's necessary and the rest can go to hell. Secondly, the assumption that all babies are the same and if you can do X, so should everyone else is annoying. Like Trexbeck mentioned earlier on here, her baby is pretty chill and let's her get things done, and that's awesome, but she knows she's lucky for lo to be like that and doesn't brag. BUT others, like me, do not have chill babies that will allow for a moment to pass unattended or they'll scream bloody murder till you pick them up. I baby wear, but scrubbing my shower, moving furniture to sweep&mop, etc doesn't really work well. She also doesn't nap unless being held, and the last couple days she won't nap unless I let her comfort nurse during it. Showering/ RR breaks are still an issue for me, dd will cry the entire time I put her down. Ok, vent over.
Lol that was me...looks like I'm on a roll today! I never meant that as a brag BTW. My SIL can be a bitch and it is more of an issue with her. Sorry your babe cries and you can't clean like you wish you could
@bkeane I totally think sleepers are adorable! I love DD in her sleepers...at home. I'm not someone who goes out of my house in my pajamas so why would I have my kid go out in them? Just my two cents
lol because they are babies! Not adults like us. No one is looking plus usually they have blankets over them in the stroller anyway.
Oh I have another...our alarm didn't go off so we were running late getting DS1 to school so I totally dropped him off in my pajama pants and tshirt I wore to sleep in. I dropped him off in the drop off lane so no one saw me, but I'm pretty sure the Starbucks guy saw me when I drove through to get coffee.
Some days I take longer than necessary on my pumping breaks, I just need a mental break for a few (ok, I am normally catching up on Bump stuff!) I never do it when we are busy though. Except for today, DH called while I was pumping to tell me William rolled back to belly for the first time and I was trying not to cry about missing a milestone bc of stupid work. First thing I've missed and I hate it, I guess a second FFFC is that sometimes I resent DH being home with LO even though I prefer that to daycare. Oh and I also only did two days of the plank challenge before I stopped.
@bkeane I totally think sleepers are adorable! I love DD in her sleepers...at home. I'm not someone who goes out of my house in my pajamas so why would I have my kid go out in them? Just my two cents
lol because they are babies! Not adults like us. No one is looking plus usually they have blankets over them in the stroller anyway.
Eh, I can see what you're saying...I guess I like dressing her up too much lol
@awwwpuddin that is no big deal to me. You're going to your MILs, not out and about in town.
@ellaf one was a zipper one, another was not
@bkeane I totally think sleepers are adorable! I love DD in her sleepers...at home. I'm not someone who goes out of my house in my pajamas so why would I have my kid go out in them? Just my two cents
@trackgirlparis ... FWIW, I still agree with you... Plus DS has so many cute outfits that he is getting close to growing out of.. I like to dress him in those while he can still wear them!
I just feel like a slob if I go out in yoga pants/sweats/no makeup. Some people can pull that look, most cannot.
@bkeane I totally think sleepers are adorable! I love DD in her sleepers...at home. I'm not someone who goes out of my house in my pajamas so why would I have my kid go out in them? Just my two cents
lol because they are babies! Not adults like us. No one is looking plus usually they have blankets over them in the stroller anyway.
Also sleepers are the comfiest for them. They're way better than putting 3 layers of "cute" clothing on just so they'll be as warm as they would have been in the sleepers. ETA: Sleepers are the best
@bkeane I totally think sleepers are adorable! I love DD in her sleepers...at home. I'm not someone who goes out of my house in my pajamas so why would I have my kid go out in them? Just my two cents
lol because they are babies! Not adults like us. No one is looking plus usually they have blankets over them in the stroller anyway.
Eh, I can see what you're saying...I guess I like dressing her up too much lol
I usually get her dressed but I don't consciously go, nope lets do a sleeper today cuz I'm lazy. Actually, it depends on what is clean and what isn't more than anything. I have more sleepers than outfits.
My fffc- I don't remember who said it, but that one comment about their SIL commenting on how the house would be a mess post baby and how proud they were bc their house is still very much clean and NOT a mess rubbed me the wrong way.
One reason it bothered me is because my house IS a wreck post baby and I've learned to let go a little bit, but I do miss my pre-baby spotless/dust free home. I only clean what's necessary and the rest can go to hell. Secondly, the assumption that all babies are the same and if you can do X, so should everyone else is annoying. Like Trexbeck mentioned earlier on here, her baby is pretty chill and let's her get things done, and that's awesome, but she knows she's lucky for lo to be like that and doesn't brag. BUT others, like me, do not have chill babies that will allow for a moment to pass unattended or they'll scream bloody murder till you pick them up. I baby wear, but scrubbing my shower, moving furniture to sweep&mop, etc doesn't really work well. She also doesn't nap unless being held, and the last couple days she won't nap unless I let her comfort nurse during it. Showering/ RR breaks are still an issue for me, dd will cry the entire time I put her down. Ok, vent over.
My fffc- I don't remember who said it, but that one comment about their SIL commenting on how the house would be a mess post baby and how proud they were bc their house is still very much clean and NOT a mess rubbed me the wrong way.
One reason it bothered me is because my house IS a wreck post baby and I've learned to let go a little bit, but I do miss my pre-baby spotless/dust free home. I only clean what's necessary and the rest can go to hell. Secondly, the assumption that all babies are the same and if you can do X, so should everyone else is annoying. Like Trexbeck mentioned earlier on here, her baby is pretty chill and let's her get things done, and that's awesome, but she knows she's lucky for lo to be like that and doesn't brag. BUT others, like me, do not have chill babies that will allow for a moment to pass unattended or they'll scream bloody murder till you pick them up. I baby wear, but scrubbing my shower, moving furniture to sweep&mop, etc doesn't really work well. She also doesn't nap unless being held, and the last couple days she won't nap unless I let her comfort nurse during it. Showering/ RR breaks are still an issue for me, dd will cry the entire time I put her down. Ok, vent over.
This is how I feel about the " your lazy if you wear yoga pants and don't get dressed up" comment: I don't get dressed up because I've gained weight and have a pizza face right now. No amount of makeup or pretty clothing is going to hide that I'm still fat and have a pizza face.
@bkeane I totally think sleepers are adorable! I love DD in her sleepers...at home. I'm not someone who goes out of my house in my pajamas so why would I have my kid go out in them? Just my two cents
@trackgirlparis ... FWIW, I still agree with you... Plus DS has so many cute outfits that he is getting close to growing out of.. I like to dress him in those while he can still wear them!
I just feel like a slob if I go out in yoga pants/sweats/no makeup. Some people can pull that look, most cannot.
Sometimes I wish MIL/FIL wouldn't speak to LO in Vietnamese as much as they do (I'll never tell them not to, though). They see her every 2-3 weeks for a couple of hours at a time. H and I do not speak Vietnamese at all and he doesn't know that much. I'm fairly certain she won't be able to learn/retain any of it because she sees them so infrequently. I don't want MIL/FIL to get upset that she doesn't know it, and I don't want LO to be frustrated that she can't understand what they are saying.
I've thought about teaching her some words here and there, but MIL/FIL have full on conversations in Vietnamese between them when we are over there and I don't think she'll ever be on the same level. H knows some Vietnamese and he doesn't even know what they are saying half the time.
And now I feel bad that I've typed it all out because it makes it seem like I don't want her to know about H's traditions and where his parents came from.
Here's my first shot at FFFC since intro'ing last week.
We haven't talked to my husbands family in 3 years. I never want to see or talk to them again but wish my son could enjoy having grandparents (I can't stand my dad and mom needs to be taken care of more than my son), aunts/uncles and cousins.
My cousin had a baby last week and I want to block her on FB because if I hear about her 10 hour labor and not sleeping through the night once more I will smack her. I want to say that "My labor 40 hours then they decided to do a csection don't complain about your 10"
I secretly wish my parents would either get divorced or move. Just being in the room with them kills me. I'm 33 I don't them staying together for my sake hahaha.
Re: FFFC
@bkeane you don't sound like a douche
I met two other new moms in my area for coffee yesterday. One has a 9 week old and the other has one 5 days younger than DD.
The FFFC part: I felt so good about myself after coffee because they both were in yoga pants/sweatshirts, ponytails, no make up and their babies in sleepers...at noon. I was in jeans, hair done, make up on and DD was dressed really cute. I don't think that being a mom gives you the excuse to be a slob, especially in public. At home, fine!
Flame away!
I've shopped at Walmart 3 times since we moved a week and a half ago. It's half a mile from my house and our finances are super lean right now.
DH made me do it!!!! Ok, not really, he just suggested I shop there until we are caught up.
#hatethatplacewithafierypassion
But I guess it's not that flameful.
I am going to make a craigslist purchase today. 1. I will have LO with me (we are meeting at a busy mall at noon). 2. I work remotely from home and will still be on the clock when I go to make this purchase. 3. I will still be unshowered, in yoga pants and sweatshirt, with my hair in a ponytail. #igivenofucks
ETA: stemming from my UO yesterday...I just.couldn't.resist.
I did the same thing!
Babies in sleepers are slobs? No. And huge kudos to those women in being comfortable enough to meet new mommys without getting dolled up. It was a play date. Not a date date. Why do they need to get dressed up for it? If you feel more comfortable getting dressed up for it-great. But really, if you are trying to make new friends, maybe you shouldn't start the judging train quite so early.
2) I dgaf about being fat for life. I'm another one who failed at the planking/sit up challenges. I lasted 2.5 days. I think I'm going to turn it into a 30 day cookie challenge. I will eat an increasing number of Oreos each day when I get my callout notification.
3) Those new clothes I mentioned are all work clothes. If I'm not at work, I'm definitely a member of the slob club. I'm not trying to impress anyone. #Idratherbecomfy
4) I might be a slob, but I almost always dress DD in something cute. Even if we're just sitting around the house.
FWIW, I really liked both women, and plan on hanging out with them again. But I don't see why you can't put a little effort into at least dressing your child.
However, I'm reading Harry Potter (for the 9th time) and I get caught up and almost always miss my window of opportunity... Or I just want to keep reading.
It's also making me a boring bumpie.
TL; DR
He's going to sleep on me till he's 12.
#harrypotterisimportant
#acciocrib
I also bump more than FB lately.
I didn't start the planking challenge bc I knew I wouldn't do it. I haven't done structured exercise since I got pregnant with dd....2.5 years ago. Not that I exercised much before, either.
I have an amazing deal at the gym I pay for yearly...but the only time I've gone in the last 2.5 years was to use the bathroom when I was in NYC.
Were they zipper sleepers??
I never bought my MIL a Christmas gift. I told her I forgot it at the house but really, I forgot it at the store. I"m making her some scrapbook pages for her birthday(it's in 2 weeks), so I don't feel too terrible about the Christmas gift. Besides, she was/is being an asshat about LO. She fawned all over her 2 grandsons, never letting their feet hit the floor from holding them all the time but has held Ellie for MAYBE 6 hours total. She says she doesn't want to "monopolize the baby".
Bullshit. She resents MH because he resembles her ex(she divorced him 27 years ago, mind you) moreso than he does her.
@ellaf one was a zipper one, another was not
@bkeane I totally think sleepers are adorable! I love DD in her sleepers...at home. I'm not someone who goes out of my house in my pajamas so why would I have my kid go out in them? Just my two cents
Oh and I also only did two days of the plank challenge before I stopped.
ETA: Sleepers are the best
I got mine third tri and refuse to give them up.
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#loveallofthis
#happysomeoneagrees
#iswearimnotabitch
Sometimes I wish MIL/FIL wouldn't speak to LO in Vietnamese as much as they do (I'll never tell them not to, though). They see her every 2-3 weeks for a couple of hours at a time. H and I do not speak Vietnamese at all and he doesn't know that much. I'm fairly certain she won't be able to learn/retain any of it because she sees them so infrequently. I don't want MIL/FIL to get upset that she doesn't know it, and I don't want LO to be frustrated that she can't understand what they are saying.
I've thought about teaching her some words here and there, but MIL/FIL have full on conversations in Vietnamese between them when we are over there and I don't think she'll ever be on the same level. H knows some Vietnamese and he doesn't even know what they are saying half the time.
And now I feel bad that I've typed it all out because it makes it seem like I don't want her to know about H's traditions and where his parents came from.
LO then (2 days) and now (1 year)
We haven't talked to my husbands family in 3 years. I never want to see or talk to them again but wish my son could enjoy having grandparents (I can't stand my dad and mom needs to be taken care of more than my son), aunts/uncles and cousins.
My cousin had a baby last week and I want to block her on FB because if I hear about her 10 hour labor and not sleeping through the night once more I will smack her. I want to say that "My labor 40 hours then they decided to do a csection don't complain about your 10"
I secretly wish my parents would either get divorced or move. Just being in the room with them kills me. I'm 33 I don't them staying together for my sake hahaha.