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December 2013 Moms
DH is NOT the father!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: DH is NOT the father!
My brother and his wife are recently divorced after a 3 yr marriage and a year-long separation. Two little girls 5 and 2. They were engaged, broke up, and got back together. Only she came back with a baby, 3months older than my youngest. The math sort of worked, but after a year of loving and enjoying our niece/granddaughter, she came clean. My bro was devastated. Still married her.
She left several times and he'd get her, except last August, he didn't. He'd had enough. Then we found out that she physically abused him, and because he wouldn't hit back, she kept on doing it. Once or twice, he did, and she told everyone that he beats her.
She however has gotten reckless and twice in the past year has attacked him and left bite marks, even hit him with a rock. This time HE went to the police and doc. A few weeks after the divorce was finalised this year, she saw him talking to a woman outside a club. She attacked them both.
The kids are the ones who suffer most. He is the only father my niece has known these 5+ years, and my ex SIL threatens to keep her away whenever things don't go her way. He's not obligated under the terms of their divorce to pay child support, but he pays her school fees, buys her clothes. Treats her as his own like he always did.
She has to be the most horrible person I know. Not a maternal bone in her body, but she uses the kids against him.
Can't make this stuff up.
Eta: I think she knew all along!
I wasn't asking about H, I was asking about the kid and his mom.
I wasn't asking about H, I was asking about the kid and his mom.
I edited at the end after reading. That yes I'm sure the mom knew the entire time. She is trifling like that. And no, no one knows yet. We don't plan on telling anyone until the court shows
then the lab DNA results.
eta: sorry didn't see you were asking if SS questioned it. When he was here, I mentioned to him that DH had more white in him than he does. He was like "what?! No way! I'm really white though!" And we told him that the only white he had in him is from DH cause his mom has no white in her and DH is 1/4 white. So that makes him only 1/8 white. He was just surprised. No question asked.
But yeah I'm surprised your H wasn't shunned. Though his money is green so why would they.
As soon as H cut off the 25 year old that's when she decided to join this watchtower thing and give up school. I find it hard to believe she was even becoming a doctor in the first place. It's all fishy to me. But don't you dare say that to H about his precious little girls! Ugh
Plus I don't think we are ghetto enough for that show
I'm fascinated and horrified by this situation at the same time. I can't imagine going 12 years thinking someone was my child, then having that all ripped away in a moment. So sad. But the situation with the adult children? WTF, Mr. Marchmellow? Time to cut the cord.
You're right I deserve more respect than that! I was very upset and still am! He has nothing to say about it except that it will never happen again. It really really hurt me. And I never thought that I would be treated like that. He did say that he said something to them but I told him it doesn't matter if you yelled at them for what they did, actions speak way louder than words and you pretty much told them and me that they're more important than me and you! He now realizes what he did was fucked up after I told one of his friends and they also said what he did was messed up. I don't why it took that to realize what he did was wrong though! AND he still pays them!!! Wtf! Well too bad they won't ever meet their little brother! Very sad! My baby won't ever know his sisters. I mean you never know, maybe some day if they apologize to me they might but I doubt that will ever happen!
I think he made a huge mistake and I forgave him. I still think he's an overall good guy though and everyone that knows him and me agrees. He's just dumb sometimes
Eta: clarification
This is why I haven't been commenting on this thread. I have to agree with Cash on this one, your H sounds like a gem.
I don't agree with leaving your husband when he makes a mistake btw. I agree that I don't deserve to be treated like that but to leave him is a little much.
And for his daughters, putting your Dh in a place where he feels pressed to choose either you or them may be a risky bet. It might not go the way you'd like. I can tell you feel a lot of passion about this right now. It's a lot to take in. But tread lightly on those relationships. Consider also a step parent support group. It's a really hard role. You're not on equal footing. But you can learn from others' experiences and avoid some hard lessons.
The child doesn't have to suffer. He still wants to be in his life. That would be up to his mother. He would rather give the child money directly. But to give the mother $800 a month to a kid that isn't his? No that is not ok! Especially cause she knew he wasn't the father! She doesn't deserve a dime of help! He shouldn't have to pay $800 a month for a kid that is not his. It's sad for both the father and the child. Especially cause they have a very tight relationship. But I really hope the mom just agrees to wait to tell the child so they can continue to have a relationship.
That might have been it but I'm pretty sure I brought up the JW thing.
I don't envy your position, hard choices in every direction
If she needs money for the boy to buy clothes/supplies/school fees/etc etc , he can still help out and buy/pay for these things directly. This way he knows he is still supporting the boy and not the mother. There are no guarantees this woman isn't spending money on herself (and based on her character I would no be surprised by this either) .
This exactly! We really really want to stay in his life. I just hope the mom understands this
Your H has been in his life for 12 years, lied to, and has supported him; he has rights. He will still be in your lives.
Also - the boy is 12. He's old enough to understand or catch on if his mom does try to feed him BS about his Dad (which was one of your worries). It's not like he's a 6 year old. I remember being 12, and what grade I was in etc.....You understand more than adults give ya credit for