DH is NOT the father!

MEP923

CitrusXoXo said:

KateMW said:

ClaireFraser said:

Cashingn2 said:

Also, did everyone miss the comment that the 12 year old's mother was the other woman? That means he cheated on his wife with her. I don't see why he'd be upset that the 12 yo's mother cheated on him with someone else and lied to him, at least she wasn't married to him. IJS.

I read it.  With all the other crap thrown in here, I didn't feel like touching that mess.  But yeah, he sounds like a real winner.

But I thought she said there was no affair that she knew of. How did she know she was the other woman? I'm lost.


and if your husband will cheat WITH you he will cheat ON you


Didn't she say the other day that he doesn't call her for days but she "just knows he would never cheat."

mavgirl_73

Once a cheater....

2010weddinggal

i think there was enough holes poked in this story, to officially call this MUD.

Ginlyn0

Wow....I cannot believe this thread. Seriously.

OP- There is a remote possibility neither of my SSs are biologically DH's as BM is a known cheater and her cheating ended their marriage. That said, there was no way DH would ever have considered a paternity test because these are his kids and have been raised as such and are treated as such and they are mine as well. I can't even fathom the fact that you people obviously swabbed or whatever your SS at 12 to get out of CS!!!!!

Someone said you are in TX, well I hope you are because TX passed a law and there was a limit on when you could try to claim a kid wasn't yours with past knowledge of the "possibility" it wasn't yours which you have openly admitted is the case here. That deadline passed Sept 2012 and it was a short deadline for a reason, for sorry fathers like your DH that have knowledge of a potential paternity descrepancy but only want to change things when it benefits them (like to stop paying CS).  Now the new law is only for new situations....which yours is not since the kid is 12.

Either way,  no judge in TX is going to let you make CS payments to a minor child. Also in TX, CS is calculated off of the NCP's income only. So if that was what was deemed appropriate for your DH then that is what he owes. End of story....doesn't matter what the BM makes at all.

And are you really ignorant to the fact that most likely your SS won't find out??? Seriously???

micino

I cannot believe this is MUD. Why would anyone waste all of our time on BS?! Yes not all of us like each other whatever who cares, but to post total BS ( if this is total BS) is nothing short of a sorry sorry excuse of a soul. If it is true, I am really so sorry for the child. It's a shame the child has to reap what his parents sew. I just hope OP does what she said and puts the child first before the $$$

+just+j+

My ex is from Texas and wanted to do the same thing - pay his child direct. again....he's an ex for good reason. I can assure you that is NOT going to happen. If a lawyer takes it to court on that premise.... Your lawyer is screwing you. There is also a statute on how long you can let a ruling go and go back and fight it so i suggest he not wait another 12 years on this new CS amount.

Lavender P

OP, it is bitches like you that give Stepmoms a bad reputation. Most of us work our asses off for our SKs and would never in a million years refer to them as 'the kid.'

twister22

Marchmellow2 said:

Well DH has been paying $400 a month for most his life, not court ordered. She recently went to court for the first time to get more and she ended up getting double because we missed the court date by a day because of an old calander we had hanging in the house. Well so now they are garnishing his wages for $800. Mind you he has 3 other kids to support (not court ordered) . So we decided it was time to do an at home paternity test just to see because the kid is very white and DH is half black. He's always had a feeling he wasn't his but didn't want to stop supporting him but now that his wages are garnished for $800, we just decided to see if he was even his! And he's not. So sad!

Apparently SS has a "worth," and apparently an extra $400 a month makes you decide that the father-son relationship between DH and SS can be completely destroyed. You make me sick. I think I might know why your SD's all hate you.

Also, the amount wasn't doubled because DH missed the court date, the amount was doubled because that's the amount the state calculators say you should be paying. And DH doesn't have to "support" he's 3 oldest, they're adults FFS.

Marchmellow2 said:

That's what I've said. He wants to continue to pay his son. He will not pay the mother though. She lied to him for all these years. She won't get a another dime from him once court is done.

You make me laugh. How the fuck is he going to pay a 12 yo old boy? Here son, go buy junk food and nerf guns! Umm no, the money is paid to BM and she uses it for things like food, clothes, shelter, insurances, bills, extra curricular activities, and the list could go on and on.

mrsashleyk

I'm definitely not siding with the mother, but I had a stepmom who used to tell us all the time that my dad was broke because he had to "pay my mom" so much money every month and that's why he couldn't visit us as much. (Not that that's what you're doing) It's bullshit. You aren't paying "that bitch" money every month. You're giving her the money to spend on behalf of her child, because well, you just can't give a twelve year old 800 dollars and expect them to spend it responsibly. 

And again, you don't perform at home DNA tests to prove a child is not yours for any other reason than you are looking for a way out of your parental obligations. If he's going to use the he's not my kid card to get out of paying child support, then he's pretty much going to have to own up to the fact that he's not his kid in all aspects of his life. You can't have it both ways. 

All of that.

Ashleynh5 said:

I'm sorry but we would literally pay any amount of money to keep our son. Regardless of the situation. 

And that.

Loolaide said:

Less than $29k a year is not rich.  And that extra $800?  Probably goes mostly or entirely to daycare since she works.

ETA - this situation is pretty wrong.  Either pay or don't, but you'll be hurting the child.  And your DH doesn't sound like a good husband or father.

And this.

Marchmellow2 said:

So you guys think he should pay for a child that isn't his?

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU??? This child IS DH's. SS has been DH's son for 12 years. THAT DOESN'T FUCKING CHANGE BECAUSE YOU'RE A BITCH OF A SM (step mom) WHO WENT AND BOUGHT A HOME DNA TEST AND DEVASTATED YOUR DH. Ignorance is bliss. Your DH didn't want to fucking know, you little twat. It's little twats like you that give SM's such a bad name. I too, puke in your general direction. SS is DH's. DH's should pay for his child. Fucking deal with it.

And, just so you know, a judge will likely throw your DNA bull shit out. Your husband is the presumed father, end of story.

Oh, and I read all 14 damn pages of this shit storm.

bubblesmtu

OP, your stepson will find out of you take this to court and refuse to pay more child support and your H's relationship with him will be ruined. He is only 12 and like PP's have said, it is a vulnerable age. I was 12 when my mom left and refused to pay child support. Now I am in my 30's and still have almost zero relationship with her even though she 'tried to stay our lives'. It doesn't work that way unfortunately and you won't have rights to see your SS in the future.

edoliesmom

@gin9874said:

Wow....I cannot believe this thread. Seriously.

OP- There is a remote possibility neither of my SSs are biologically DH's as BM is a known cheater and her cheating ended their marriage. That said, there was no way DH would ever have considered a paternity test because these are his kids and have been raised as such and are treated as such and they are mine as well. I can't even fathom the fact that you people obviously swabbed or whatever your SS at 12 to get out of CS!!!!!

Someone said you are in TX, well I hope you are because TX passed a law and there was a limit on when you could try to claim a kid wasn't yours with past knowledge of the "possibility" it wasn't yours which you have openly admitted is the case here. That deadline passed Sept 2012 and it was a short deadline for a reason, for sorry fathers like your DH that have knowledge of a potential paternity descrepancy but only want to change things when it benefits them (like to stop paying CS).  Now the new law is only for new situations....which yours is not since the kid is 12.

Either way,  no judge in TX is going to let you make CS payments to a minor child. Also in TX, CS is calculated off of the NCP's income only. So if that was what was deemed appropriate for your DH then that is what he owes. End of story....doesn't matter what the BM makes at all.

And are you really ignorant to the fact that most likely your SS won't find out??? Seriously???

This exact thing happened to my younger brother and sister. (And I live in Texas, by the way.) In the summer of 2012 my ex-stepdad swabbed my brother's and sister's nose using some idiotic story about how he was worried they had caught some kind of virus his current wife had brought home?? I don't know exactly, but it was completely bogus. He only wanted to do this because he owed almost $20K in back child support and had to pay $180 a month for each of them which he didn't even see leaving him because it came out of his disability check. (He had back surgery, but he's completely capable of working as long as it's not hard labor. He's just a lazy, freeloading piece of crap.) Anyway, he took my mom to court, they ordered a paternity test to be done, verified they weren't his (knowing good and well when my mom was pregnant with them that they might not be), and he GOT OUT OF EVERYTHING even though he had claimed them for the first 16 years of their lives. And this was settled by Dec. 2012 I believe. So if what you're saying is true, I don't know how he got away with that.

+just+j+

More than likely the reason he is paying for adult kids is because he is in arrears. CS doesnt stop when they turn 18 and he is behind.

+just+j+

I keep finding more shit to comment on. LOL! If your husband stops paying a court ordered CS payment thru the state of Texas, he will go to jail. My ex knows this from experience.

Marchmellow2

I get that some of you have opinions on this and it's obviously controversial. Some agree with me that the mother doesn't deserve another dime after what she did and some of you, from other boards and a couple here think he should continue paying. Either way, we don't know what we're gonna do yet because we haven't spoke to a lawyer yet. This is all very new FYI.

Sorry but some of you are just so confused. It's almost like you made drama up to keep drama going. I'm just going to let some of you continue thinking what you think because there is no way out of your confusion at this point. I can't help you there.

No DH did not cheat on his wife. As I stated before, after his wife left him he met SS's mom a year later. She dragged her feet getting a divorce because she is JW.

And the reason I know how much SS's mom makes is because it is stated in the order along with her expenses and her social security number. I have no idea why Texas would let us have that info but that's what they did.

Also, I have not lied at all in this thread, there are points where I might have numbers, dates and stuff off because like I said I was very upset about this last night and there were so many questions because some people were digging for drama. Most the time my responses are very broad and lack clarification, mostly because I'm on mobile and I was upset. With that said, I still have clarified everything in this thread repeatedly that my stance on this is currently that I don't think the mom deserves a dime more and I hope SS and H continue to have a relationship. And I really hope this can be resolved in a way that SS doesn't get hurt. These are my hopes, if they're unrealistic, then ok, I'm obviously in for an awakening. It's very very sad that SS might have to go through this and the best we can do is tell him we aren't going anywhere and try to continue a relationship. The rest is unknown and I will need to consult an attorney about this to see what can happen. There is no more to say about this right now because it's unknown.

As for the women in this board who find the need to start drama over something like this, I feel sorry for you and I hope you try to focus on other things for you and your families sake. As for the women who agree with me, thank you for your advice, it's well taken. I will take it slow and not let my upset emotions get involved.

2010weddinggal

Do not want drama, do not post drama sorry your story got poked full of holes but oh well....

lollipoppoop

Lost cause....moving on.

KTdidit

Marchmellow2 said:

Marchmellow2 said:

So you guys think he should pay for a child that isn't his?

You are talking about a child. 

A.

Child.

Yes, let's punish a child for the sins of it's parents. 

Seems legit.  

The mom really should have thought about that before she took H to court for child support. She knew he'd find out he wasn't the father. She should have been content with the $400 a month of non court ordered money she was getting his entire life. It is VERY SAD yes. But if she's smart she will wait to tell the child.

So you and YH are the ones who opened this can of worms and now you're going to put it on the BM if she tells SS and crushes him?! Nice. Way to pass the blame. After 8 pages of bullshit I forget if it was ever truly determined if the BM flat out lied and "took YH for all he's worth" or if you;re just assuming this. It could very well be possible that she is of the belief that YH IS SS's bio father.

After 12 years YH is this boy's father. Even if by some miracle their relationship stays the same, SS will always know that YH at one point cared more about blood than SS himself and the bond they have after so long. This is all about money and sticking it to BM and you can't even be woman enough to admit it.

Marchmellow2

+just+j+ said:

I keep finding more shit to comment on. LOL! If your husband stops paying a court ordered CS payment thru the state of Texas, he will go to jail. My ex knows this from experience.

Where do you people get this confusion from. He's never stopped paying anything. It is garnished. And the reason it is garnished is because he missed a court date. That's it. No other stories around it. And no he didn't and doesn't owe back pay either. Where do you get this stuff?!

+just+j+

Marchmellow2 said:

As for the women in this board who find the need to start drama over something like this, I feel sorry for you and I hope you try to focus on other things for you and your families sake. As for the women who agree with me, thank you for your advice, it's well taken. I will take it slow and not let my upset emotions get involved.

You still arent getting it. You are making it about the mom and money. Its about the child. So you are going to take the advice of the small minority that agree with you when the post started and are nowhere to be seen now. There is a reason there are so many responses. Its because you dont see what you are doing. I feel sorry for your stepson. Really really REALLY sorry. Come back and share what the courts say. I am dying to hear your response and shock when they throw the case out.

Marchmellow2

kaholland4 said:

Marchmellow2 said:

Marchmellow2 said:

So you guys think he should pay for a child that isn't his?

You are talking about a child. 

A.

Child.

Yes, let's punish a child for the sins of it's parents. 

Seems legit.  

The mom really should have thought about that before she took H to court for child support. She knew he'd find out he wasn't the father. She should have been content with the $400 a month of non court ordered money she was getting his entire life. It is VERY SAD yes. But if she's smart she will wait to tell the child.

So you and YH are the ones who opened this can of worms and now you're going to put it on the BM if she tells SS and crushes him?! Nice. Way to pass the blame. After 8 pages of bullshit I forget if it was ever truly determined if the BM flat out lied and "took YH for all he's worth" or if you;re just assuming this. It could very well be possible that she is of the belief that YH IS SS's bio father.

After 12 years YH is this boy's father. Even if by some miracle their relationship stays the same, SS will always know that YH at one point cared more about blood than SS himself and the bond they have after so long. This is all about money and sticking it to BM and you can't even be woman enough to admit it.

She flat out lied. H had his suspicions since SS is so white. But he never did anything about it because he wants to be his father. I'm still not sure what we're going to do about the money so that part is on hold for now. My stance on this is clear though, that I'd rather SS get money directly from H in the future. And BM doesn't deserve a dime.

Serenla

Um wow, here from A14. OP with all of the contradictions and lack of knowledge about the court system, I'm calling BS.
Here is some cake for everyone else who wants it and has read this far.

lollipoppoop

OP your husband sounds like a douche and the sad part is you will most likely be in this mother's shoes one day regarding child support.  Karma is a B! You think one thing now but just wait.

greenbeanqueen

Ok, I have been trying to read through this since I started it earlier today... I cant get past page 12. My eyes hurt..

1) The judge would not go by what she says in regards to his wages, the judge would go by what his last submitted financial statements say.

2) In most courts (at least in my area) if one parent fails to show at a hearing in regards to custody, CS, or anything like that then the judge automatically rules in the favor of the parent that is there. If that parent is EXTREMELY unfit, then the state gets involved. 

3) It is moronic that you posted all this personal info because if BIO mom finds this she can use it ALL against you in court... Since you provided your full first and last name in one of the facebook posts way back so that people from TB could friend you, it wouldn't be that hard to fit the pieces together. I'm not going to out your IRL name but anyone who looks back at old posts can find it.

4) Wages are usually only garnished if a parent is proved irresponsible, which not showing up for a scheduled court date pretty much proves how responsible he is.

5) If he wants so badly to keep this kid in his life and be his dad then why would you even open this bag of worms. There is no way for this to end nicely. There is no way to not let the kid find out. Either he wants to be dad (and with that comes financial responsibility) or he doesnt. You cant have it both ways.

6) I think that this is mostly you being "Well he's not your BIO son, so I dont want our money going to him" because I can see you being that way. Yes I am judging. You've been on my post it a while...

7) If you loved him you wouldn't call him "the kid" you would call him your SS or son. Most step parents I know who truly love their stepkids call them their kids. You sound callous.

8) The grown kids thing is outrageous......

9) Many judges will look at the fact that "even though he KNEW" this wasnt his BIO kid that he chose to play dad as long as it was convenient. The judge will say that since he chose to pay 400$ on his own knowing that this might not be his kid, that he chose the role of father and for 12 YEARS? I mean come on, I think that you just dont want to have to share your DH with this BIO kid... 

ON another note. The generalization if JWs pisses me off. JWs are not all cheaters. I know plenty in loving, faithful relationships....

I'm not even going to get into the despicable use of the R-word. 

This post is so full of crap... I literally had to get up and get a snack in the middle of reading it.

@Marchmellow2 : Marchelle you are being really full of crap right now. It's clear that you dont love this kid, or this never would have come up.. Y'all sound like money hungry brats.

greenbeanqueen

Cashingn2 said:

@greenbeanqueen, Who said the r word? I got so distracted by all the crazy that I missed that? Must crucify this person!

someone in like page 11 or 12 brought up that a poster had said that all men are clinical r-tards. 

KTdidit

Loolaide said:

ColleenSwerb said:

He's paying CHILD support. Not spousal support. The money is for expenses of the CHILD. Do you think she's sitting back raking in her $800 a month and spending it on herself or something? Has there ever been a question of how she spends the money you give her, or I should say the state forces you give her since its being garnished.

Hookers and blow, yo

Boats and hoes!

rockyrollgirl

SAHM here.

OP: The adult daughters seem a lot less "bitchy" now.

*slips back into the shadows*

2010weddinggal

Cashingn2 said:

Loolaide said:

Heaven802002 said:

Cashingn2 said:

@greenbeanqueen, Who said the r word? I got so distracted by all the crazy that I missed that? Must crucify this person!

@cathy310 i think

And she never came back even though she's been tagged TWICE (well, 3x now).

I hate when people make ignorant ass comments like that. I hate even more that I missed her comment when it was fresh.

You missed it cause there is too much crazy in this post lol

jennlin

OP: you said something about "some of you think she shouldn't get another dime" and "for the women who agree with you".......you're obviously delusional. nobody is agreeing with you.

and $2400 a month is big bucks to you? that doesn't even cover my mortgage.

2010weddinggal

Avswolf said:

Daycare? He's 12. H pays for all school, insurance, supplies, & clothes on top of the $800 a month. I called him the "kid" because it was easier than writing out stepson. I'm talking about this to you guys (on mobile) to explain things rather than putting myself in it. I actually love him very much, and I'm very sad about all of this. I got the results last night and it took me 10 minutes to tell DH cause I was so sad about it. Anyway I don't need to explain my love for my stepson. Again ladies, I DO know everything about MH's past relationships. I just don't remember how long he was married to her. I've been with him for 9 years. I met him when stepson was 3 yo. That's when I seen my stepson's mom and she was nasty at the time and is still nasty now. She wiped MH's whole bank acct out and took off to Montana without saying a word to him. She ripped my stepson away then and I hope she doesn't do it again

Wait!!!! 43-9-18=16. Was he 16 when he for married????? Oh, I'm so confused!

yes he was 16 she said when he got married

2010weddinggal

apparently he moves on really fast

insertclevername

This whole thing is really sad. I feel sorry for the stepson. And I am side eyeing a few people in this thread including OP. Sweeping generalizations about religion and using the r word as an insult. Ugh.

Edited to add: I am also side eyeing xp'ing this thread to other boards just to stir up drama and flaming. SMH.

Ginlyn0

SLSchuerg said:

@gin9874said:

Wow....I cannot believe this thread. Seriously.

OP- There is a remote possibility neither of my SSs are biologically DH's as BM is a known cheater and her cheating ended their marriage. That said, there was no way DH would ever have considered a paternity test because these are his kids and have been raised as such and are treated as such and they are mine as well. I can't even fathom the fact that you people obviously swabbed or whatever your SS at 12 to get out of CS!!!!!

Someone said you are in TX, well I hope you are because TX passed a law and there was a limit on when you could try to claim a kid wasn't yours with past knowledge of the "possibility" it wasn't yours which you have openly admitted is the case here. That deadline passed Sept 2012 and it was a short deadline for a reason, for sorry fathers like your DH that have knowledge of a potential paternity descrepancy but only want to change things when it benefits them (like to stop paying CS).  Now the new law is only for new situations....which yours is not since the kid is 12.

Either way,  no judge in TX is going to let you make CS payments to a minor child. Also in TX, CS is calculated off of the NCP's income only. So if that was what was deemed appropriate for your DH then that is what he owes. End of story....doesn't matter what the BM makes at all.

And are you really ignorant to the fact that most likely your SS won't find out??? Seriously???

This exact thing happened to my younger brother and sister. (And I live in Texas, by the way.) In the summer of 2012 my ex-stepdad swabbed my brother's and sister's nose using some idiotic story about how he was worried they had caught some kind of virus his current wife had brought home?? I don't know exactly, but it was completely bogus. He only wanted to do this because he owed almost $20K in back child support and had to pay $180 a month for each of them which he didn't even see leaving him because it came out of his disability check. (He had back surgery, but he's completely capable of working as long as it's not hard labor. He's just a lazy, freeloading piece of crap.) Anyway, he took my mom to court, they ordered a paternity test to be done, verified they weren't his (knowing good and well when my mom was pregnant with them that they might not be), and he GOT OUT OF EVERYTHING even though he had claimed them for the first 16 years of their lives. And this was settled by Dec. 2012 I believe. So if what you're saying is true, I don't know how he got away with that.

The filing deadline was in Sept. 2012. Most likely he had filed before the deadline since you said he tested them in the summer. The deadline was highly publicized on our local news at the time.

Aycul18

ColleenSwerb said:

Side note: where the eff is it legal to get married at 16?

I think with parental permission you can get married at 16 in many states. I could be kidding though :-) My guess is he knocked up the 1st wife, and parents forced them to marry?

+just+j+

ColleenSwerb said:

Side note: where the eff is it legal to get married at 16?

Texas.

MEP923

greenbeanqueen said:

Ok, I have been trying to read through this since I started it earlier today... I cant get past page 12. My eyes hurt..

1) The judge would not go by what she says in regards to his wages, the judge would go by what his last submitted financial statements say.

2) In most courts (at least in my area) if one parent fails to show at a hearing in regards to custody, CS, or anything like that then the judge automatically rules in the favor of the parent that is there. If that parent is EXTREMELY unfit, then the state gets involved. 

3) It is moronic that you posted all this personal info because if BIO mom finds this she can use it ALL against you in court... Since you provided your full first and last name in one of the facebook posts way back so that people from TB could friend you, it wouldn't be that hard to fit the pieces together. I'm not going to out your IRL name but anyone who looks back at old posts can find it.

4) Wages are usually only garnished if a parent is proved irresponsible, which not showing up for a scheduled court date pretty much proves how responsible he is.

5) If he wants so badly to keep this kid in his life and be his dad then why would you even open this bag of worms. There is no way for this to end nicely. There is no way to not let the kid find out. Either he wants to be dad (and with that comes financial responsibility) or he doesnt. You cant have it both ways.

6) I think that this is mostly you being "Well he's not your BIO son, so I dont want our money going to him" because I can see you being that way. Yes I am judging. You've been on my post it a while...

7) If you loved him you wouldn't call him "the kid" you would call him your SS or son. Most step parents I know who truly love their stepkids call them their kids. You sound callous.

8) The grown kids thing is outrageous......

9) Many judges will look at the fact that "even though he KNEW" this wasnt his BIO kid that he chose to play dad as long as it was convenient. The judge will say that since he chose to pay 400$ on his own knowing that this might not be his kid, that he chose the role of father and for 12 YEARS? I mean come on, I think that you just dont want to have to share your DH with this BIO kid... 

ON another note. The generalization if JWs pisses me off. JWs are not all cheaters. I know plenty in loving, faithful relationships....

I'm not even going to get into the despicable use of the R-word. 

This post is so full of crap... I literally had to get up and get a snack in the middle of reading it.

@Marchmellow2 : Marchelle you are being really full of crap right now. It's clear that you dont love this kid, or
this never would have come up.. Y'all sound like money hungry brats.

Most sensible thing said in this whole post.

Ansleyturner

Well damn..

blainethetrain

I hope that my comment about JW's and divorce wasn't offensive. I really thought that divorce was frowned upon in that church. Apparently not all?

greenbeanqueen

@hckygrl909 I think that your comments (if I saw them all) were ok. JWs do look down on divorce, and practice the "adultery is the only reason for divorce" practice. 

blainethetrain

greenbeanqueen said:

@hckygrl909 I think that your comments (if I saw them all) were ok. JWs do look down on divorce, and practice the "adultery is the only reason for divorce" practice. 

Yeah, that was all I said. I was feeling really bad.

blainethetrain

Cashingn2 said:

hckygrl909 said:

I hope that my comment about JW's and divorce wasn't offensive. I really thought that divorce was frowned upon in that church. Apparently not all?

No, your comment is correct. The only grounds for divorce is adultery. There's a scripture in the Bible that they quote to support this decision ( I don't remember the scripture, but if you really want to know, one phone call and I can find out). There are some that are not as strict in their religious practice. They don't technically have preachers, they call them elders and below an elder is a ministerial servant or something like that. Anyhow, let's say an elder gets a divorce for any reason other than adultery, that elder would be stripped of his title and basically just be a member of the church (Kingdom Hall as they call it). If you are a member of their congregation and they learn that you have committed fornication, you would be disfellowshipped. Basically, you are allowed in the church, but you are to sit in the back and not associate with other members.

I think the comment that was upsetting to others was that all witnesses are cheaters. I side eyed the person that said it but hate that it was someone I really like.

Yeah, a friend of mine got shunned by her church including her family for divorcing her deadbeat abusive husband. That's the only reason I know anything about Witnesses.

grannyweatherwax

Wow I was at work all day and came home to this crazy shit.  Also, who in their right mind would give a 12 yo that much $ in a month and expect him to be responsible with it?  You're not paying the mom this money for fun, you're making sure she has the resources to take care of her son.

I'm not even going to attempt advice at this point, it's VERY clear what your priorities are.