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February 2014 Moms
Is this super offensive??
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Is this super offensive??
I'm a cockroach...? Lol
Really this place is full of bullies.
DO NOT PUT YOURSELF IN THIS POSITION.
Do not put expectations on yourself that you may or may not be able to succeed at. I felt the same way, like I needed to be Bree from Desperate housewives, that I OWED that to my husband. That he worked so hard for me to be able to stay home that he deserved to come home to an immaculate house a gourmet dinner me looking perfect and the baby too. I had these crazy unrealistic expectations of my self and mylife with baby. Guess where my ass ended up? In a therapist office, having a panic attack, almost in a divorce and on a lot of medications.
I was trying to be that perfect ideal that a fTM think exsists. But it doesn't. Sometimes giving your 100% means you got baby fed, clean diapers on and your teeth brushed. And you should Feel PROUD.
Because you are doing something amazing you are keeping a tiny baby alive all day long. And your husband? He is doing his part out in the sun all day long, but you guys are partners and are both working towards the same goal of raising a happy healthy baby.
Try again.
"Like I wish I could."
Everyone else has already said what I would want to in this thread. Your comments about your friend after your initial question (and those about SAHM/WM) are highly offensive and judgemental.
You will not ever know the reasons of another mother until you walk in her shoes. And that's even after you yourself are a mother. Do not ever say 'never' or 'I will always'... I can guarantee they will come back a bite you in the ass, not just once, but many times.
My life, my love, my boys
DS: Liam born 8.30.10 at 35 wks (PPROM, Pre-E, C-Section)
DD: BFP 6.9.13, EDD 2.12.14, A/S 9.20.13... It's a Girl!
Adeline Leigh born sleeping 2.11.14 at 39 wks 6 days
How very softly you tiptoed into our world, almost silently, only a moment you stayed. But what an imprint your footsteps have left upon our hearts. - Dorothy Ferguson
With so many of you guys saying you don't gossip about your friends, It has me wondering. Literally almost every friend I have gossips in at least some degree. That or they are just super obnoxious and say literally anything that crosses their mind.
But yeah even though I find it hard to believe that none of you EVER gossips, it has made me think that maybe that's a part of the growing up process I still need to do. My crowd is mostly girls my age and younger (I'm twenty-two) so maybe that's why that's still so much a part of my life. But if nothing else I'm glad my eyes were opened to the fact that it's not something friends SHOULD do to each other. Maybe it's something I could stand To work on.
Although it's tough. My mom is still gossipy and she's in her 40s.
— The Doctor, Season 3, Episode 6
When it comes to friends- Girls are catty, but women will straight up tell you you're being a bitch and then hug you and hand you a glass of wine.
As far as the rest of the thread... I will say this. There is much to be said for how one accepts criticism. Whether it's given pleasantly or not. You'll go a long way by admitting you made some extremely harsh judgements... And were not very kind when called on it. The thread escalated from there.
My life, my love, my boys
DS: Liam born 8.30.10 at 35 wks (PPROM, Pre-E, C-Section)
DD: BFP 6.9.13, EDD 2.12.14, A/S 9.20.13... It's a Girl!
Adeline Leigh born sleeping 2.11.14 at 39 wks 6 days
How very softly you tiptoed into our world, almost silently, only a moment you stayed. But what an imprint your footsteps have left upon our hearts. - Dorothy Ferguson
And the beauty of the whole thing is she'll disagree with what you do as a mom too. Neither of you will be 'wrong', just right for your own children. Try to keep that in mind. Friendships from childhood are precious and shouldnt be damaged over mommy wars.
To each their own.
My life, my love, my boys
DS: Liam born 8.30.10 at 35 wks (PPROM, Pre-E, C-Section)
DD: BFP 6.9.13, EDD 2.12.14, A/S 9.20.13... It's a Girl!
Adeline Leigh born sleeping 2.11.14 at 39 wks 6 days
How very softly you tiptoed into our world, almost silently, only a moment you stayed. But what an imprint your footsteps have left upon our hearts. - Dorothy Ferguson
Bit of advice: you won't be a perfect mom. Doing it all perfectly doesn't prove your love for your baby. Letting some things go doesn't mean you don't love the baby.
Being a good mom doesn't mean being a martyr. Getting sleep doesn't make you a bad mom. In fact, getting sleep so that you can provide for your baby makes you a better mom than the one who insists on doing it all and not being flexible and so drains herself to the point she is crazed with exhaustion, sick because sleep deprivation fucks with your immune system, and lost in PPD (which has strong ties to lack of sleep).
Being a martyr or a perfect by the book momma doesn't make you a good mom. If that's the standard you are holding yourself to you will fail and you will suffer. It's a fact, not me being sensitive or whatever word you want to fling around. No one is perfect all the time and babies are basically designed to break you down.
It's okay to have standards and want things and have goals and research. It's not okay to slam other moms and hold yourself to a standard of perfection.
— The Doctor, Season 3, Episode 6
It was the combination of her words that offended me, not the words themselves. I curse all the time but I don't bring God into it.
miss?????
*** grabs bowl of popcorn And makes sure phone is charged****
If I had a friend send me that text, I probably would have told her to STFU. I don't know you or your friend IRL, but you seriously have no idea what having a baby is like. DS could roll over by 4 months and by 6 months, it didn't matter if I put him to sleep on his back, he would be on his stomach within an hour. I think it sounded judgmental. It's not your baby, whether you are concerned or not, stick to parenting your child.
Not being a B*!&#, seriously, but parenting is a very individual job and it is something that no one can say, "I am definitely doing it this way or that way" because your child is a person and will do things the way they like when it comes to sleeping and eating and being an individual. You can't force a child to eat something they don't like, and you can't force a baby that is able to roll over to sleep on their back if they don't want to or if it's not comfortable for them.
And I really rolled my eyes at the stay at home mom even though her family needs her to work financially. You are not her family. You are her friend. Financial issues are extremely personal and if you said that about me and my family if we were friends, we would no longer be, because it is honestly none of your business. I don't work out of the home. It cut our income almost in half (before baby costs), but it was worth it for our family to have one parent be home full time with our kids until they are school age. That means cutting back- that means cloth diapers over disposables, that means no getting hair or nails done once a month or twice a year even! But with the cost of day care, disposable diapers, possibly formula if I couldn't successfully pump but had to send the baby to day care (they have to eat after all), two vehicles, work wardrobe (including makeup and hair upkeep- professionalism in the work place is much more upkeep than at home), the cost of my working was more financially inefficient to justify OUR family not having a SAHP. There are plenty of families that make it work with both parents at work and are super happy, but like I said- individual parenting styles are just that. It's not up to you if her family needs it or not.
Babies that pass away to SIDS have been found sleeping on their BACKS too. If it's going to happen, it can happen anywhere, even in your arms. But as a mom that has lost a 6 month old to SIDS that was placed on his back and rolled to his belly and was found that way, will I be paranoid to let this baby sleep on her belly? Ummm yes, you better believe it. I won't put her down that way, if she starts rolling and sleeping that way during naps, then I guess we'll go from there. If babies are going to sleep on their bellies, I'd recommend a lot of tummy time during the day to get their neck muscles strong so they can lift their heads in the airflow becomes limited.
Oh and for the record, I don't judge other moms for letting their babies sleep on their bellies. But it still scares the crap out of me when I see it. I won't say a word to them though.