@sandy5693 We're thinking 2nd week of August right now, so I'll be around 33 weeks. In my mind, that will give us enough time to assess what we still need before baby comes and plan accordingly.
@mcclanna I've taking a prescribed stool softener for a month and a half and spent this week so uncomfortable without relief. Eat at least one apple a day, took miralax 3 days in a row and added 4 oz of slightly warm prune juice yesterday morning. Everything is good now. Good luck!
+1 for me, I almost made this same post last night! It just started this week for me. We are camping this weekend and I had DH go out and get me chick fil a breakfast and an iced coffee to get things moving before we left. Thankfully it worked but that’s not a sustainable solution haha
We're thinking a late August sprinkle. At a wedding out in Halifax mid August and September is full of family birthdays, plus is possibly cutting it a little close. The only thing is I work weekends so I might end up doing a shower September anyway when I take my mat leave if August is complicated. My job is too physical to work until baby arrives and mat leave in Canada is 12-18 months so I'll likely take it at 36 weeks or so. We already have lots that we kept from DS, but we still want a little party. I also plan to register for things like meal delivery, gift card to the cloth diaper service, gift card for cleaning services, etc.
I posted this in the why your crying thread and realized it had a good question for this thread!
Well, at 18 weeks I had already gained 20 pounds. Really not sure how I did that since I gained 14 of those pounds during my first trimester when I could keep literally nothing down and was only eating salad with some balsamic vinaigrette and vegetable soup…. Then throwing it all up. Fast forward to 20 weeks and I’ve gained 22 pounds. I was Skyping with my boyfriend while I was getting our DS ready for bed and he looked at me, asked how much weight I gained and then responded with this… “oh yeah, you can see you’ve gained weight in your face.” I got so, so mad and asked him if anyone ever told him not to comment on a pregnant persons weight and we then continued to bicker for the rest of the night.
I know he didn’t mean it, he actually prefers “bigger” girls, but I worked my butt off to loose 70 pounds and now that I’m pregnant I’m just gaining weight like crazy. Pre-pregnancy, I’d only eat 1200 calories a day and I’d work out about 3-5 times a week (at least!). Now I’m still only eating about 1000-1200 calories a day and working out 3-5 days a week and gaining so much weight.
Is anyone else feeling super self conscious? How is everyone else keeping the weight off?
So for me at 36, 5 ft 5, and prepregnacy weight of 135 I'm supposed to eat around 2225 calories to maintain a healthy weight while pregnant in the second trimester. Your body NEEDS fuel. I workout 7 days a week. I would talk to your doctor and a nutritionist but I personally don't think you're eating enough. Eating less is not an option. I gain 43 pound every pregnancy. It doesn't matter what I eat or how active I am it is just how my body reacts to being pregnant. I have large healthy babies. Not eating enough or getting proper nutrition could have a negative effect on both you and the baby. When I don't eat enough my body retains water like crazy causing weight gain. I lost 30+ lbs and I'm so worried about doing it again. It's completely understandable to be cautious and try to prevent excess weight gain but you need to find a healthy balance. Talk to a nutritionist.
@krysnicole1022- do you have pregnancy calories calculators that you recommend? I’ve tried googling some and it says I need around 2200 calories 😳 My doctor is “concerned” about my weight gain and said that it’s “scary how much weight I’ve gained.” It’s so different than my first doctor who said that she gained 50 pounds with each of her pregnancies!
I also saw a nutritionist and she would mint give me a calorie amount because I mentioned I was a tad anorexic when I was a teenager-20 YEARS ago. I also said that I have a really healthy relationship with food now, but she just said to eat more vegetables 😒
@kat_vegan87 Rapid weight gain in pregnancy can be a red flag for some things that your doctor should be screening for if they've noticed it. It is, however, totally normal to have major weight fluctuation up in pregnancy, especially if you were only eating 1200 calories a day. 1000-1200 calories a day while pregnant is dangerous. If you're only eating that and gaining they should screen you for gestational diabetes sooner rather than later as well as for pre-eclampsia.
My midwife doesn't even track weight in pregnancy unless there is a dramatic shift because, as she says, all bodies are different and handle pregnancy differently. Weight is asked only once or twice for reference in some screenings or for dosages. She said that regular weight tracking puts unnecessary pressure on mamas and really has little to do with yours and baby's overall health. It pathologizes a perfect normal thing that our bodies do.
More importantly, a fixation on calories counting is not healthy for mental wellness. Look at portion control, food quality and nutritional balance to get the best out of your meals. As said above, food is fuel and is necessary for you and for baby.
Absolutely @krthouse! I gained 50 pounds with my first, but I was eating all garlic fries and desserts 😂 I couldn’t even look at a vegetable without feeling sick.
Thankfully, I’m not showing any symptoms of anything, but I should be getting checked in the next couple of weeks for GD since I’ll be 21 weeks tomorrow and am….. older (I’m 35 and considered AMA).
Totally agree on food is fuel and not being crazy about calorie counting. I’ve just got into the habit of a healthy lifestyle and journaling what I eat using My Fitness Pal. I worked so hard to loose the weight, I was hoping I’d be one of those beautiful pregnant moms that only puts weight on in their stomach lol, clearly thats not happening.
My doctors don't really comment on weight gain. I gain what I gain and it sucks but there is nothing I can do about it. With my first I gained 20 lbs over the course of two weeks. I didn't do anything different. My doctor said some women gain most of their weight early on and then it slows down. I second getting tested for GD early. I'm managing my blood sugars now to be safe. I'm almost 20 weeks and I've gained over 14 lbs so far. No one has said anything.
I’m 20 weeks and 3 days pregnant, i started feeling kicks at late 18 weeks even though this is my first pregnancy. The past few days I haven't felt that many kicks as before. Online there’s nothing saying I should be concerned. Also I’ve been using a fetal heartbeat doppler and when I do check the heartbeat is perfect. Is there a reason why there isn’t as many kicks?
@bunnybb13- there’s lots of reasons why you might not be feeling kicks. The location of placenta is one, I felt my baby quite a bit early on and then it stopped, then I found out I have an anterior placenta so it makes sense. Also, babies have their own sleep cycles. My LO usually wakes up around 11 pm/1 am so I’ve actually been going to sleep later so I can feel her. But trust your instinct, if you feel like something is off, call your doctor. Maybe they can get you in for some peace of mind.
@kat_vegan87 All else being equal, I don’t understand why your doctor is saying it’s “scary” that you’ve gained that much weight. It may be more than average but it doesn’t seem crazy? That being said, I do think it’s strange if you are only eating that many calories and still gaining? Do you have any swelling at all? I know that inflated my weight gain last time I was pregnant.
@bows22- My last doctor had 3 kids and wasn’t concerned about the same amount of weight gain. This doctor doesn’t have kids and is honestly drop dead gorgeous lol. I’m thinking that has something to do with it.
No swelling at all, besides being super bloated since day 1. The bloating has finally started going away though and I’ve noticed that I’ve been gaining less weight than I was before. I’m hoping that my weight gain kind of stops where it is 🤞
@bunnybb13 That's still totally normal. Don't forget they're suspended in amniotic fluid, so that in of itself can make the kicks hard to sense clearly. As baby gets bigger and runs out of room you'll feel baby's movements way more clearly.
I’ve felt some kicks but not a ton. I feel like he’s doing yoga more often than not. It just feels like something is pressing on the inside of my stomach. And then it goes away
@kat_vegan87 girl, find a new doctor! With my first pregnancy my doctor kept telling me to watch my weight gain because I’m short. Every appointment toward the end of my pregnancy she told me to watch my weight because baby was getting big. By the time I delivered I had only gained 19 pounds and my daughter was 7 lbs even. I was done with that doctor after that. If your doctor is making you feel bad about your weight gain with no medical reason then you should find a new provider.
TTC History
Me: 35 DH: 34 Married 07/2012 DD born 07/2014 DD2 born 10/2018 DS born 10/2022
IF history: TTC #2 since January 2016 June-Aug 2017: 3 IUIs w/Clomid = BFN Sept 2017: Dx w/Endometriosis Oct 2017: IUI w/Letrozole = BFN Nov 2017: IUI w/Letrozole = BFN Dec 2017: pre-IVF testing Jan-Feb 2018: IVF--17 eggs retrieved, 13 fertilized, 9 frozen and 1 transferred on 2/10 = BFP on 2/19!!! EDD 10/29/2018 FET Oct 2021: BFP on 10/31! MC at 5 weeks FET Feb 2022: BFP on 2/15! EDD 10/29/22
Follow up with a shower question - any suggestions for wording that basically asks people not to buy certain items? We spent a few years buying some baby stuff before trying to get pregnant, then several months trying and still buying so we actually have tons of things, but I didn't want to buy any big items (crib, car seat, dresser, monitor, rocking chair). But we have a million outfits, blankets and swaddles, a bunch of pajamas and baby towels and washclothes, all the bibs and burp cloths and hats and no scratch mittens any baby could ever need...but there's still bunches of items we could use just not as fun to buy. Haha.
So I want to be nice but realistically don't want or need more of those. I've tried thinking and rewording and everything seems really rude to say "if you want to buy me something please ONLY buy from the registry" but that's honestly the point I want to get across. Any suggestions?
@rcgw You can always ask people to rsvp on a website and have a part on the website that lists what we have, what we need. People will absolutely still buy you those things you already have, but it increases the odds of getting what you need as well. The other helpful part about listing what you have is that other parents will also see the gaps you might not know are there in your what you need list.
What I’m going to say to my shower guests is “we already have everything we need except a few items that can be found on our baby registry. We can also always use (my brand) diapers any size or (my brand) wipes if you would like to get us a gift.”
I’d put stuff like that on your registry and mark it as “purchased” - also I think people tend to include gift receipts when they go off registry because they know they are taking a chance, so you can hopefully just return it. I am older and maybe a little old fashioned so I wouldn’t outright say anything about sticking to the registry.
We tried telling people to stick with the registry (I had gotten a lot of second hand stuff from siblings and families I nannied for) and most people ended up buying us clothes because we were having a girl. And you know it was alllll pink and fluffy. 🙄 I returned anything I could and donated stuff I didn't like. Saved a few things for days when a blowout seemed inevitable. The whole shower was a disaster. 🤣😭
Ughhh I'm feeling the weight gain mania. I'd go neurotic if I had to start counting my calories..but I've probably gained 25 or so lbs and I'm at 21 weeks. I feel like there's big emphasis on "every pregnancy is different" but then being held to a standard median. Doesn't help that I used to be SUPER fit, then got depressed and out of shape before getting pregnant..so I'm really trying not to hold myself to my pre-super fit standard. I had almost no nausea my first trimester so I REALLY gained fast. I'm dreading what my doctor will say when they weigh me tomorrow. I was doing fine with my body image until last time and he mentioned the rate i should be gaining. And then felt the need to "check" myself a few times since...mistake. I keep up with workouts but do eat some bad meals now and then, I'm pregnant for goodness sake! Id like to try and enjoy it even a little bit. Mostly I try to cook for myself.
Thanks for the suggestions!!! And I should accept that people will buy us stuff we don't need/want, but I'm a bit OCD and feel like I want to control things all the time. Letting go of control is something working on, again.
@rcgw I’m a huge control freak too, I would just not let what people buy you stop you from getting what you really want. But for example if you get a blanket you don’t love and can’t return, that can always be an extra one you keep in the car for emergencies.
@rcgw I am also thinking about this. My SIL just let Hubbs and me know our baby shower is August 13th, lol, and with our limited storage and living space it won’t be feasible to get doubles of things and/or things not on the registry.
@kat_vegan87 GET A NEW DOCTOR! That is so offensive. I have gained more than that, probably at 20lb+ at this point (but really evenly distributed and near none in my face somehow) and for as long as I’m healthy and baby is healthy, my doctor does not care. I would’ve switched in your position as my evaluation of someone who says something like that is that they are NOT suited as a doctor for pregnancy. That being said, I am trying to get back to more veggies and fruits. Too many carbs and snack foods in my diet and I’m just not as happy with it. I just did a calculation for my different trimesters and for first tri, it says 2565kcal/day, second is 2765kcal/day, third 2955kcal day based on pre-pregnancy weight, height, age, and exercise level. I’ve tried a few different ones and I end up in the high 2000s for every single one for first and second, some put me in 3000s for third. 1000-1200kcal/day is absolutely not enough for pregnancy. Just your internal organs need 1200-1400kcal based on your size.
I got my 20 weeks ultrasound yesterday at 20 weeks and five days. Everything was healthy except for one thing, they said my baby has fluid around her heart. They said it wasn’t enough for any concern and that they’ll check on it in four weeks to see if there’s more fluid. I’m really worried and don’t know what to do or if it was anything I did. Has anybody else experienced this with a past pregnancy/ now?
My doctors really didn’t seem that worried about it, but in the doctors appointment I didn’t think to ask any questions because it looked like they genuinely didn’t think anything of it. Both doctors commented about this happens more then you would think and most of the time it either goes away or isn’t enough fluid to cause any trouble. I feel like they wouldn’t necessarily tell me that unless they thought that would be my outcome. Also the fluid hasn’t effected babies heart or lungs which both look healthy. And for more background information babies heartbeat has been perfect at every appointment and every time i have been using the fetal doppler at home since i was 16 weeks. How concerned should I be? Did I cause this? What can I do to help?
@sandy5693 I am having my shower July 30th since I have family that will be in town and they leave the next weekend. I will be 30 wks. I don’t think it matters when you do it so long as you don’t cut it too close. You get a lot of what you need during the shower and you’ll want time to prepare and put everything away.
Regarding baby showers, I think you should do it whenever you want! Where I grew up it's common to have a shower after baby is born so you can show them off. For my son I had a small shower with a couple close friends/family when I was about 34 weeks, and then because it was covid, we had a drive through shower when he was 3 weeks old. Do whatever works best for you!
I'm 90% sure that what I'm feeling is round ligament pain, but everything I'm seeing says that it's only supposed to last a few seconds and it's been persistent all morning. Feel like a growing pain for sure and is right above my left hip/under my bump. Has anyone else felt more constant ache vs. the sharp spasm?
@fichey this happens to me too, especially if I’m hiking or on my feet a lot. I assume it is just my belly getting sore from the weight. Once I put my belly band on, it feels so much better.
I had the same sharp pains around 26 weeks with my first. (Like cramps when your doing activities) They didn’t go away after 12 hours so I went to the hospital and everything was fine. Doc said it was just growing pains.
Going back to the weight gain question from @kat_vegan87. I met with maternal fetal medicine a few days ago and she told me that my weight gain was great (16 lbs at 20 weeks) and that given my BMI and weight prior to getting pregnant she would WANT me to gain between 35-40 lbs. I was actually 10 lbs heavier when I got pregnant this time.
Re: The Great Big Question Thread!
Thanks, everyone. I was hoping to do it in early September (I'll be 34/35 weeks) but some family thinks that is too late.
@krthouse I love the idea of registering for meal delivery and cleaning services!
I workout 7 days a week. I would talk to your doctor and a nutritionist but I personally don't think you're eating enough. Eating less is not an option. I gain 43 pound every pregnancy. It doesn't matter what I eat or how active I am it is just how my body reacts to being pregnant. I have large healthy babies. Not eating enough or getting proper nutrition could have a negative effect on both you and the baby. When I don't eat enough my body retains water like crazy causing weight gain.
I lost 30+ lbs and I'm so worried about doing it again. It's completely understandable to be cautious and try to prevent excess weight gain but you need to find a healthy balance. Talk to a nutritionist.
My midwife doesn't even track weight in pregnancy unless there is a dramatic shift because, as she says, all bodies are different and handle pregnancy differently. Weight is asked only once or twice for reference in some screenings or for dosages. She said that regular weight tracking puts unnecessary pressure on mamas and really has little to do with yours and baby's overall health. It pathologizes a perfect normal thing that our bodies do.
More importantly, a fixation on calories counting is not healthy for mental wellness. Look at portion control, food quality and nutritional balance to get the best out of your meals. As said above, food is fuel and is necessary for you and for baby.
Thankfully, I’m not showing any symptoms of anything, but I should be getting checked in the next couple of weeks for GD since I’ll be 21 weeks tomorrow and am….. older (I’m 35 and considered AMA).
Married 07/2012
DD born 07/2014
DD2 born 10/2018
DS born 10/2022
IF history:
TTC #2 since January 2016
June-Aug 2017: 3 IUIs w/Clomid = BFN
Sept 2017: Dx w/Endometriosis
Oct 2017: IUI w/Letrozole = BFN
Nov 2017: IUI w/Letrozole = BFN
Dec 2017: pre-IVF testing
Jan-Feb 2018: IVF--17 eggs retrieved, 13 fertilized, 9 frozen and 1 transferred on 2/10 = BFP on 2/19!!! EDD 10/29/2018
FET Oct 2021: BFP on 10/31! MC at 5 weeks
FET Feb 2022: BFP on 2/15! EDD 10/29/22
So I want to be nice but realistically don't want or need more of those. I've tried thinking and rewording and everything seems really rude to say "if you want to buy me something please ONLY buy from the registry" but that's honestly the point I want to get across. Any suggestions?
I was doing fine with my body image until last time and he mentioned the rate i should be gaining. And then felt the need to "check" myself a few times since...mistake. I keep up with workouts but do eat some bad meals now and then, I'm pregnant for goodness sake! Id like to try and enjoy it even a little bit. Mostly I try to cook for myself.
@kat_vegan87 GET A NEW DOCTOR! That is so offensive. I have gained more than that, probably at 20lb+ at this point (but really evenly distributed and near none in my face somehow) and for as long as I’m healthy and baby is healthy, my doctor does not care. I would’ve switched in your position as my evaluation of someone who says something like that is that they are NOT suited as a doctor for pregnancy. That being said, I am trying to get back to more veggies and fruits. Too many carbs and snack foods in my diet and I’m just not as happy with it.
I just did a calculation for my different trimesters and for first tri, it says 2565kcal/day, second is 2765kcal/day, third 2955kcal day based on pre-pregnancy weight, height, age, and exercise level. I’ve tried a few different ones and I end up in the high 2000s for every single one for first and second, some put me in 3000s for third.
1000-1200kcal/day is absolutely not enough for pregnancy. Just your internal organs need 1200-1400kcal based on your size.
My doctors really didn’t seem that worried about it, but in the doctors appointment I didn’t think to ask any questions because it looked like they genuinely didn’t think anything of it. Both doctors commented about this happens more then you would think and most of the time it either goes away or isn’t enough fluid to cause any trouble. I feel like they wouldn’t necessarily tell me that unless they thought that would be my outcome. Also the fluid hasn’t effected babies heart or lungs which both look healthy. And for more background information babies heartbeat has been perfect at every appointment and every time i have been using the fetal doppler at home since i was 16 weeks. How concerned should I be? Did I cause this? What can I do to help?