The Great Big Questions Thread

noprobalo

@sienna221 My practice schedules between 11 and 14 weeks. I don't know if 2 days short would make a difference or not.

aztecash

@threes_companypu I had a similar situation. I started a job when I was 15ish weeks pregnant as a surrogate. I knew I would have a 30 day review, so I made sure I kicked ass those first 30 days, got a glowing review, and at the end of the review I brought it up. I also live in CA, so although I didn't qualify for FMLA, I was covered by CFRA so I wasn't concerned about job security or paid leave. 

@sienna221 I did my NIPT when I was measuring at 10w exactly because I was anxious. Based on ovulation, I was actually only 9w5d. This is going to be the least scientific explanation based on what I remember from my research, but here goes. Fetal blood volume (or something like that) measuring 4 or under is considered inconclusive. At 10 weeks, it should measure around 10. I went on the early side and mine measured at 5.5, low but within the normal range. If you know when you ovulated, you might want to take that into consideration. I almost waited becuase of that. 

pizzaplz

@sienna221 I had my NIPT at my last appointment, when I was about 10 1/2 weeks.

chindimples04

@sienna221 my clinic does NIPT at 10 weeks. If it’s just the general first trimester screening with NT ultrasound, it’s done between 11 weeks 6 days and 13 weeks 5 days. ETA: I had my NIPT blood work drawn yesterday at 10+1.

sienna221

@noprobalo @aztecash @pizzaplz @chindimples04 thanks all for the info! I think I’ll keep my appointment to do it at 10w5d as it sounds like it’ll be ok. I got out of right after the appointment for a week and I’m too impatient to delay it that long! Haha 

mac-n-cheese

@sienna221 I was 10w2d and the OB office had my result at 11w.
I called Progenity on 11w1d and they told me my OB had to give me the results (no online portal). I called the office and they gave me the sex and I came in the next day for the rest.
Most of the companies I’m familiar with finalize the results within 1-2 weeks.
It may have been from a previous post of yours but I remember someone saying that. I got worried but just hoped there was enough DNA to process. It was ok so anecdotally it can work that early.

cait32

I got my harmony results a week to the day from when I took it. I preferred the panorama because they have a patient portal where you can see it yourself as soon as it’s in.

chindimples04

@cait32 I did the panorama! I’m happy to hear results are posted right away. My doctor said they wouldn’t be posted until after he calls me and I wasn’t having that!

cait32

@chindimples04 that wasn’t the case for me in 2018! I saw them in the portal and didn’t get a call until the next day if I remember correctly

noprobalo

Under what circumstances will an OB move up your due date? At the first appointment, baby was 5 days ahead of my LMP; today they're a full week ahead. Wondering if this baby is just big so far, or if there's reason to think my due date should actually be a week earlier.

galentine

@noprobalo, I think your question is likely provider-dependent. I'm pretty sure my doctor has said she sticks with EDD based on LMP unless the baby is measuring more than a week in either direction.

vampirina

@noprobalo my provider said it just needs to be about 5 days off. 

Tbh, due date is kind if a crap shoot estimate anyway. 

noprobalo

@vampirina Fair. I'm only interested because I need to have 12 months of service to qualify for parental leave, and it's gonna come down to the wire. 😬

cait32

@noprobalo both my other kids seemed to always measure spot on and this one was 5 days bigger when I had my 10w ultrasound. They didn't move my due date, but I know I ovulated early so my "real" 40 weeks will be early. I went to 40+6 with my daughter and 40+1 with my son, but this one I'm assuming may be "early" just since I think my actual due date should be earlier. Not helpful really, because it's a crapshoot, but where with the other ones I planned to be in the office until the day I had them (and I was with both), I'm assuming that I'll be out earlier than my 10/7 due date this time around.

vampirina

@noprobalo I know the feeling! I needed to have my daughter on 9/25  (or later) or I wouldn't have qualified and thankfully she stayed put and we delivered on 9/25 😄. Talk about a real nail biter. She was due on the 24th. 

My son was 10 days early though so you never know. 

noprobalo

@vampirina Wow, what an obliging kid! We won't be that close; I'm just hoping to cobble enough other paid leave together to get over the hump, but we'll see!

chindimples04

@noprobablo my practice only moves due dates in the first 8 weeks or so because the further along you get, the less accurate the measurements become. 

jtayl962

I am finding out that I can be a back sleeper. I am not entirely sure how long I'm laying on my back at night.I know it's not good to lay on your back for long periods of time during pregnancy because it can effect the blood flow to the baby. Can anyone suggest what I can use or what you have used in the past? Or am I panicking for no reason yet since I'm 14 weeks today?

chindimples04

@jtayl962 it’s not likely to cause issue now, however, it may in a month or two. A have a pregnancy pillow that I’ll tuck under my butt to keep me slightly tilted to one side if I land on my back. 

cait32

@jtayl962 you’ll know when you can’t lay on your back anymore. There’s a point where when you do, you feel like your own oxygen and blood flow is stopping. I’ve never worried about it before that point. Baby is too small to be compressing your main artery at this point. It’ll get to the point that you will just automatically roll to your side even in your sleep.

momofmiracles31889

Does anyone get their hair colored during pregnancy?

I do plan to ask my OB at my next appointment. I’ve read mixed things online. Definitely didn’t want to first trimester. I didn’t at all with my son because after 3 losses I was super worried about everything, but I’m starting to go gray (in my late 20s 🙈) so I’d love to get my hair colored BUT obviously baby’s safety is my first priority so just curious what other pregnant people do 

cait32

I have gotten mine colored during every pregnancy @momofmiracles31889 -- i didnt even really think about it

demimondaine

@momofmiracles31889 I have to get my colors done every 8 weeks. I just skipped the bleaching in the first tri. 

steph-ann

@momofmiracles31889 I am also wondering the same thing! I know a ton of women do it, but I’m paranoid. I never did with my youngest. I needed to badly, but didn’t want to risk anything. I had a hair apt for a color and balayage the afternoon I found out I was pregnant so I cancelled it. I was sooooo bummed, I was hoping for one more apt before I got pregnant. My grays are horrible! And my ash gray is turning more orange now. I got some root spray to help, which it does, but kind of makes my hair frizzy the next day. I am such a hair freak and this is killing me! Atleast I don’t see many people right now cause of covid.

momofmiracles31889

Thanks for the responses ladies!

@steph-ann I totally understand! I’m a super cautious person during pregnancy because of my losses (I don’t really drink any caffeine, don’t dye my hair, use mostly chemical free products on my body etc) but I know so many women do these things and their babies are perfectly fine so wondering if it’s more my anxiety/ocd driving these decisions! I’ll let you know what my OB says when I ask next week! My grandmother went grey SUPER young so I’m not surprised this is happening to me but I was hoping it wouldn’t get too bad until I was done having kids but I keep seeing more and more pop up 🤣 I have a medium reddish brown color hair sooo the greys really stand out 🙈

purplegoldpirate

If applicable: when are y’all telling work? 

I’m still pandemic working from home full time so it’s been easy to keep a secret from them so far. But now that everyone else knows it feels weird to not tell my coworkers. 

galentine

@purplegoldpirate, I'm in a similar situation with my work. I usually work in a shared office space, but for covid-reasons I'm working in a separate office right now (same building though). I still see my coworkers occasionally, but it's rare enough that I've been able to hide the pregnancy easily thus far. Everyone else in that office is still in the normal space, so I could easily just walk in and tell them all. But I'd feel so awkward barging in to announce, "by the way I'm pregnant! Ok.... back to my temporary office, byyyye!" So I keep putting it off. It feels awkward to tell, and it also feels awkward to keep it a secret much longer. I was going to share this morning and chickened out. Uggggghhh I have no good answers. I think I'm going to tell this week, so I'll be sometime between 13w3d and 14w.

purplegoldpirate

@galentine I’m 14w4d so similar stage. My teammates are all older than me (closest is 18 years older) and I am the age of some of their kids. I’ve worked with them for 10 years (for two different employers) and they worked together even longer. In a Teams meeting a couple weeks ago we were chatting about former coworkers and whose grandchild was due and whose kid was what age this year and it was SO hard to keep zipped. Maybe I’ll announce in our next team meeting so I’m telling them all at once. Or should I tell my boss separately first? Ugh. 

galentine

@purplegoldpirate, I like the idea of telling them all together in a Teams meeting, but maybe giving your boss a private heads up first. 

noprobalo

@purplegoldpirate I have already formally told work. I now have the lower stakes problem where I am not sure that word is going to get around. Most of my coworkers telework the majority of the time, and when they're in, we all kind of keep to our offices. There is minimal water cooler talk. So I wonder if I'm going to startle coworkers when they finally see me walking around the office like the Goodyear blimp 😆

vampirina

@purplegoldpirate I've been slowly telling people. Its definitely a bit weird. I have a few more teams I regularly work with that I need to tell

galentine

Just out of curiosity: how do you and your partner go about choosing baby names? Does one of you suggest names and the other vetoes/agrees? Do you each come up with a list separately and then compare? Draw names from a hat? I'm curious how our strategy compares to other couples'.

My H and I have a front runner name for a girl, but are nowhere near consensus for a boy name. So far our strategy is that we each (separately) look through the entire baby name book for boys, mark which names we like (we each have a designated pen color), and then we'll compare to see if there were any overlaps for names that we both liked. From there, assuming there are multiple matches, we'll narrow it down. (We'll eventually do the same for girls names, and then compare them to our front runner to see what we like best.) I'm honestly afraid we might get zero matches for boy names  This is easily the hardest part of being Team Green!!

purplegoldpirate

@galentine we have a shared google doc 

Currently we have a front runner girl name and no idea on boy names so we just shout them randomly to each other as we go about our day and the other either says “no” or “short list it” and we’ll eventually come together with our (long) short list google doc and narrow further. 

chindimples04

@purplegoldpirate I told my principals at 4 weeks because I had a sneaky suspicion that this pregnancy would be full of appointments like my last and I didn’t want to keep taking time off and have them wonder. 

gingermama46

@galentine we each suggest names and then veto or approve. We had a Google Keep list for DS. We had 3 names and decided on one the day he was born. With this little guy, I'm pretty sure we have decided on a name, still working on a middle name. DS' name ends in "on," so I suggested another name ending in "n." I suggested a few which were vetoed haha.

aztecash

@purplegoldpirate I intended to tell HR and my boss already, but I never see them and rarely talk to them. It seems like an awkward thing to email, but I don't want to schedule a Zoom meeting just for that. I'm really good at putting things off, but I'm already 16 weeks and this is going fast, so I need to do it soon. My employees will figure it out on their own because I don't think I'm going to outright tell them until we start prepping for my leave.

@galentine DH isn't into coming up with names, so I compile a list of names that I like and he vetos any that he doesn't like. Then we discuss and rank the names left over. There is an app where you and your partner link accounts, then you swipe left or right on baby names. I don't remember the name of it, but I feel like you could find it by Googling "Tinder for Baby Names." I like the concept, but the names seemed fairly limited in the free version.

galentine

@aztecash, we have used that app! We played around with it during my first pregnancy. I agree it has a limited number of names in the free version. 

noprobalo

@galentine I put together a list of names, and he went through and vetoed ones he didn't like. Then he added a couple names he had, and we informally ranked them. The list was pretty short, though, because we only wanted to use family names or ones that were very similar. We've picked one, but we're waiting to see if we feel settled on it before making it formal in any way.

cenzosmomma

@galentine We are constantly discussing names, agreeing to them, and then forgetting about them because we don't write them down.  We are settled on a girls' name, we've basically been in agreement to some variation of this name with my prior two boys.

chindimples04

@galentine that is the same strategy my SIL and BIL use. It works really well for them. My husband has no strong opinions so I make a list of names I like and he vetos them. Any name he doesn’t veto stays in the list and then we pick a favorite. We dig through the family tree to find baby names so we did that step together, as well.