Any other june (or spring 2020) mummas now contimplating homebirths due to this pandemic?? Thankfully my other 2 births were both very fast and straight forward so im seriously rethinking a hospital birth
@mummasteen If I lived closer to the hospital (I'm 1 hour away) I absolutely would. My OB is cautious because she said 3rd deliveries are the most likely to have bleeding complications, so I will deliver in a hospital at this point.
@sheshe3386 I had my 30 week today and my first depression screening. I was bawling before my Dr even entered the room to ask how I was just from the questionnaire. She said to think about it and we can start meds whenever I want. I've already sent a message to her to start now. I don't think the world is going to get better any time soon. Being a stay at home mom is not something I ever had interest in. With ds I was ecstatic to go back to work. Assuming maternity leave is going to be daycare less for my will be 18 month old is way too much for me to even think about. Hopefully I can find meds and doses that help before post partum hormones kick in.
@mummasteen ds ended with an emergency section because of his positioning (sunny side up and too stubborn to turn his head). My mil had 4 kids all vaginally, and one of them was sunny side up. She said she should have had a section and it was a very traumatic birth of my bil with forceps etc.
What may have happened if I wasn't in a hospital terrifies me. I'm also one that worries, over worries, then worries some more about basically everything though. I definitely understand why more people would be avoiding hospital births. I just personally couldn't do it.
@runwmusic thinking of you. These are impossible times. I went from being so excited to finally get to be a mom and on cloud nine to feeling a complete sense of hopelessness. I fear a lot of moms due in the next couple of months are going to suffer from post partum depression. Hang in there and try to remember that all of us are in this together.
Any other june (or spring 2020) mummas now contimplating homebirths due to this pandemic?? Thankfully my other 2 births were both very fast and straight forward so im seriously rethinking a hospital birth
I had my second at home and have been planning this one for home the entire time, which is even more important to me now. With our state sheltering in place, my midwife has way less person to person contacts than any square inch of the hospital, plus our hospitals are already out of the appropriate masks and down to less useful ppe, low on gowns. So I know doctors and nurses there so likely to be asymptomatic carriers or not yet symptomatic, and our small hospitals mean that all staff use the same elevators, cafeteria, etc. So it's all scary for me there, and I'm afraid of if they won't allow any support person...I have deep hospital fears after my first birth which was abusive and traumatic.
I highly trust my midwife team to identify issues and complications BEFORE they are an emergency so we can transfer in plenty of time if needed. Last birth was 31 hours of labor, and a couple of small complications that showed up after birth, but my team had everything they needed to take care of issues.
I love home birth, but respect others choices who don't feel safe at home. I feel unsafe in hospital, especially after being abused the first time. If I end up at a hospital in virus chaos with no partner for another long labor I don't know what mental scarring will happen, but I know a nurse can't stay with me every minute. I'm terrified I'll end up with another unnecessary c section (I'm not opposed to a medically necessary one, but my first wasn't) and be further traumatized.
There's no easy way to birth a baby at all. But if your preference is moving around, no meds, and you're low risk, home birth can be a great choice.
_______________________________________________
Me: 33 DH: 32 Married 7/18/15 1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16 Team green turned BLUE! 2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 Team green turned PINK! Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
I've also opened the conversation with my OB about PPD/PPA concerns and getting the appropriate referrals in place quickly for telehealth or whatever the options end up being when this baby gets here. I had horrible depression during infertility and narrowly skirted PPD in the craziness after my first was born. I'm definitely grieving the pregnancy, birth, postpartum experience I'd hoped to have this time around ... but in the weirdest way, my early GD diagnosis gave me a chance to grieve and let go of some of that very early on and I think I'm in a better place right now than I would have been with this crazy world and a 2nd/3rd tri GD diagnosis. Spacing the terrible things out a bit is helpful, who knew?
My own areas of personal panic are around thoughts like "what if my milk doesn't come in again and some a$$holes have bought out all the baby formula for their toilet paper prepper castles and I can't feed my kid?" Mostly resource management stuff: not enough food; not enough supplies; not enough energy; not enough separation from adventure toddler to heal from my c-section; no protected leave left for DH because we had to use it up when someone got sick; etc. There are bigger much scarier questions out there, too, but I don't have the capacity to field those what ifs right now.
Someone else said this at some point, but: I'm so sorry, to all the FTMs. I'm sorry you're not getting your baby showers, and your family support, and to pick things out for your nursery by what your heart desires vs what is actually in stock and might reach you by June. This isn't what you hoped for and it isn't even remotely fair. And for all of us: I'm sorry that there's so much uncertainty around an already emotional and physically taxing time. This isn't what anyone signed up for, and I hope that in the long run your babies are blessings and bring enough joy to offset all of today's (and 2020's) worries.
Dh's job got the official word that they are essential. He received paperwork so he can travel. He has to go to Idaho next week. I'm starting to panic a little. I'm most concerned about the plane flights, and hoping he doesn't get it and bring it home. I just want to curl up in a bubble.
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@mummasteen There’s not very many midwives nearby so you usually have to contact them basically as soon as you get the positive test. I live half an hour out of town in a rural area too, so if we needed an ambulance it could take a long time. If the hospital decides to stop allowing a support person I might call the midwives and just ask if they can help me out. This is our first and probably only child and it would break my heart to not have my husband there.
Also both my husband and I are still working. I guess we’re essential 🙄 I’m hoping I can get medical leave soon because I’m sick of feeling like I’m at risk for nothing every day.
Im sort of in the same boat. We are 25-30 minutes away from a hospital. Im a bit scared to not be in the care of the hospital but dont want to unnessisarily expose and risk a new baby... might see where everything is at come june???
Thanks for starting this thread! I tried a digital group session through a company called Sesh this week and loved it - they have another one for expecting mamas dealing with the pandemic this evening, wanted to share in case it can help anyone else in this thread I'm new so can't post the link but their site is www sesh-therapy [dot] com
@ErikandAfton it’s crazy the people that are considered essential. On one hand, I’m glad I’m a teacher and teaching online so getting paid. But my husband does engineering work in an office all day for soybean processing but was given essential paperwork for travel too. Thankfully his boss is super understanding and won’t make him leave town anytime soon with things the way they are but I couldn’t believe it when I heard he was considered essential
Married: 12/19/15
BFP: 9/4/17 EDD: 5/16/18 DD born 5/10/18 Postpartum Complications
@alli392 I'm fortunate I'm teaching from home too. My husband services industrial lasers. They are used in major manufacturing to cut sheet metal. He gets sent all over but this one is killing me.
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So this is a super petty small thing to complain about, which I hope means we can all relate somehow and collectively laugh about it, but the one pregnancy craving I have not been able to shake and have had at the tippy top of my "when GD is over" indulgence list is a big, gooey cinnamon roll from a specific eatery downtown. It was supposed to be my graduation treat (Nov), but I was too tired and nauseous so we postponed. And then early December got so busy, and then I was diagnosed and it came off the menu until June. NOW THEY ARE CLOSING AND HAVE SAID THEY PROBABLY WON'T REOPEN. Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
@ErikandAfton. My husband is essential too (police officer) and it freaks me out. We live in a smaller place, so I can't totally isolate him, but I am doing the best I can. we have a shoe drop at our entryway along with hand sanitizer. I make him take off his shoes and use the hand sanitizer, then he has to go immediately to the laundry room and throw his clothes in the washer and then go take a shower. I wish I didn't have to be so militant but these are unusual times.
@kyrwyn I think that is a totally valid complaint and man does a gooey cinnamon roll sound good right now! What a sucky situation. I will think some good thoughts that they don't close permanently.
@kyrwyn oh nooo that sounds tragic! This may sound extreme, but you should reach out to the owner and explain your predicament...maybe (s)he will either make you some that you can freeze or will do some freelance baking after the deli is closed. Worth a shot at least...cravings/rewards like that are NOT to be taken lightly!
@kyrwyn@kjack86 I second reaching out and explaining! They’d probably love to hear from their customers too-it has to be hard for them!
@lilaros that’s about where we’re at too! My husband works at a cubicle and honestly could go the whole day without being within 6 ft of another person but at this point I don’t care. Every precaution seems worthwhile right nos
Married: 12/19/15
BFP: 9/4/17 EDD: 5/16/18 DD born 5/10/18 Postpartum Complications
Good idea, everyone! We have friends who are/were regulars and quasi-know the owners. I'll ask if they have contact info. In a pinch, I can make my own (and they are delicious), but there's something nice about the idea of having someone else do the two-ish days of busy work (and not knowing exactly how much butter, sugar, etc went into it while I'm indulging).
@sheshe3366@chaos-and-coffee I'm seriously thinking about restarting the medication I was on/went off of when I found out I was pregnant. I was already struggling with anxiety/insomnia even before the health issues exploded and feel like I'm barely getting by most days. It's not fair to my hubby, who's been great, and it's definitely not fair to the baby. I think the stress my body is under is worse than the risk posed by most anti-depressants/anxiety drugs. In an awful misery-loves-company way, I'm glad I'm not alone. :]
@mariabele since it took almost a week for my Prozac to get filled I’m assuming a lot of America is on something for depression and anxiety right now, including us pregnant women. Am I 100% happy that I’m going back on them while pregnant, no, but I’m doing what’s best for me and my baby because stress isn’t good for the little babe. You’re never alone, and hang in there. We will all make it through this
on a positive note, I was really encouraged that NY passed legislation guaranteeing that partners can be at the birth of their babies. I’m hoping all the other states follow suit. It’s disappointing that we probably won’t get a second support person there but the disappointment is nothing to the gut wrenching panic of not having my husband there. I can’t imagine him having to wait outside the hospital for news from me like we were back in the 50s.
Married: 12/19/15
BFP: 9/4/17 EDD: 5/16/18 DD born 5/10/18 Postpartum Complications
@alli392 I’m really glad they did too! I’m in MI, and Detroit is really bad. I’m not in Detroit but the spread still really worries me. Even if I have a scheduled CS, which is more likely if the virus sticks around, I do not know how I would do it without my DH there.
We discussed Covid-19at my 28wk appointment todag and how I am dealing with that as a healthcare provider. Luckily my work has been AMAZING and I do not have to see any patients with symptoms, but still have to worry about the asymptomatic ones. I did find out that the hospital I am delivering at, unlike the hospital I work at, is not forcing the CDC recommendation of separation from baby for 14 days if mom is positive they tell you the recommendation and let you make an informed decision as an adult! Also got the OK to leave at 24 hours even if I have a csection--i was so ready last time-- especially if the strict visitor restrictions are still in place. Currently just one visitor with no plans to ever decrease that to zero. Still hoping some of these restrictions will lift before June and DS will be able to come to the hospital to meet baby brother.
Hi mommas! FTM here and had to cancel my baby showers due to covid. I also had to take an unpaid leave of absence from work due to an underlying condition that puts me at high risk (and I work at a hospital). I know this sounds materialistic, but I’m concerned about not receiving items from my registry because I’m no longer having showers, and having to purchase most of these items ourselves. Has anyone else encountered this? What is a tactful way to say to family and friends- please don’t wait until he’s born! I need stuff now.
@ehlei I'm sorry for you and the other FTMs who are missing out on the celebration and community support of having baby showers! (Also STM+ who may have gifted/donated/sold off their baby supplies thinking they were done building their families.) I don't know if there is ever a tactful way to ask for presents/gifts, at least not in the traditional etiquette sense. Are your friends and family tech savvy enough for you to throw a video conferencing shower or some other way to communally celebrate (with the underlying hope of getting some generous gifts toward your nursery, etc)?
I think we're also still in the realm of hoping for a sip and see type party after baby gets here. Maybe you could focus your own purchases on items that you really need in June/July, when baby first comes home, and then rework your registry toward the things you'll need further out into parenthood. I found with my first that the stuff I needed right away was less expensive (caveat: no one gifted me a stroller or carseat and my nursery furniture is mostly hand-me-downs and IKEA) and the things I needed later (swing, bouncer, convertible carseat) were $$.
A lot of baby items aren't 100% necessary. Fun, make life easier...yes. Necessary, no. A safe place to sleep, diapers, minimal clothes, a way to feed them, a car seat if you have a car. Babywearing can be cheaper than a stroller. Bathe them in sink/tub with towel. Boppys are nice, but a pillow works too. Toys, gear, even a full nursery of furniture can really be postponed/minimized.
If you're strapped and buying it all due to no showers (we're also starting over, this baby is surprise baby 3, 8 1/2 years after what we thought was our last) keep it minimal and then buy as you can.
I really feel for the FTMs who arent experiencing a baby shower. I know safe mom and safe baby is most important, but I think we are all grieving the loss of what we thought our third trimester would be. I agree with just getting what you need now. And continue having a registry for things you want, but arent as necessary. I bet people will still buy stuff, even if it is after the baby is here.
I’m sad for the FTMs who don’t get a baby shower either. I would bet many people still send gifts! I would start buying what you need here and there (I.e., diapers and wipes, bottles, etc., that you might not be gifted). You can always get things after the baby is here that you didn’t realize you needed, and there will always be more things to buy, so even if you have a sip and see later, people will have plenty of things to pick from.
My mom and my sister had me register and are sending out Facebook invites for a virtual baby shower. I know it’s not the same unfortunately but it’s still helpful with getting some things
I created an Amazon registry. Looks like my baby shower that was supposed to take place on May 3rd won’t be happening. A few people have asked me for ideas or a registry so I sent them that. Also my dad already gave us some money and we bought a Nuna Mixx stroller and have a little money left over. My MIL and FIL also each gave us some money which covered almost everything for the baby room. We ordered it all online since no stores are open. Hopefully it will all come together. Also my husbands aunt called and said she wanted to gift us a really generous amount we can put towards something that we need for baby. Maybe we will get a fancy high chair later with it.
I am grateful for all this help! I’m also sad that I’ll be missing out on a shower after I waited so long to have a child! I don’t even know if we’ll be able to to the maternity shoot outside plus I’m waiting to see what rules the hospital will have in place by then.
Anyone else listen to the podcast “The Birth Hour”? She’s done a really great job this week of posting stories of moms facing Coronavirus settings and she plans to do so for the next few weeks. Trying to prepare myself based on their experiences!
Married: 12/19/15
BFP: 9/4/17 EDD: 5/16/18 DD born 5/10/18 Postpartum Complications
It's a tough day over here in "safer at home" isolation. I'm supposedly working from home this morning, but my DH and DS1 (2.5) are having a rough go with each other. DS1 just ran by screaming "me peepee, me peepee in your room, daddy" and he doesn't mean in our potty.
Just in case anyone needed some sobering perspective on housebound toddlers.
@kyrwyn It is so challenging working from home with little ones! I had 2 teleconferences yesterday so my husband was watching the kids. I definitely got distracted a couple of times even though my husband is great with the kids.
I work on a step down unit so now with the way things are, we are being cross trained in the ICU in a matter of weeks, like 2 weeks. Also, my manager was walking around the unit with someone discussing how we can make our floor a Covid floor. I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t want to be in this environment. I want to curl up in a ball and cry.
@chaos-and-coffee no. I’m still on the floor. My manager told me a while back that I would not be taking any covid patients bc I have had several breakdowns at work, but I don’t know what’s going to happen from here. I might ask to transfer to another floor or if nothing else, take a leave of absence. Even the stress of the situation alone has become too much.
@sheshe3386 my hospital has pulled pregnant people off the covid floors but I understand that might be hard depending on where you are and how hard your area has been hit. I’m sorry. I hope you can make a decision that you feel comfortable with.
Re: COVID-19 Talk
What may have happened if I wasn't in a hospital terrifies me. I'm also one that worries, over worries, then worries some more about basically everything though. I definitely understand why more people would be avoiding hospital births. I just personally couldn't do it.
I highly trust my midwife team to identify issues and complications BEFORE they are an emergency so we can transfer in plenty of time if needed. Last birth was 31 hours of labor, and a couple of small complications that showed up after birth, but my team had everything they needed to take care of issues.
I love home birth, but respect others choices who don't feel safe at home. I feel unsafe in hospital, especially after being abused the first time. If I end up at a hospital in virus chaos with no partner for another long labor I don't know what mental scarring will happen, but I know a nurse can't stay with me every minute. I'm terrified I'll end up with another unnecessary c section (I'm not opposed to a medically necessary one, but my first wasn't) and be further traumatized.
There's no easy way to birth a baby at all. But if your preference is moving around, no meds, and you're low risk, home birth can be a great choice.
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
My own areas of personal panic are around thoughts like "what if my milk doesn't come in again and some a$$holes have bought out all the baby formula for their toilet paper prepper castles and I can't feed my kid?" Mostly resource management stuff: not enough food; not enough supplies; not enough energy; not enough separation from adventure toddler to heal from my c-section; no protected leave left for DH because we had to use it up when someone got sick; etc. There are bigger much scarier questions out there, too, but I don't have the capacity to field those what ifs right now.
Someone else said this at some point, but: I'm so sorry, to all the FTMs. I'm sorry you're not getting your baby showers, and your family support, and to pick things out for your nursery by what your heart desires vs what is actually in stock and might reach you by June. This isn't what you hoped for and it isn't even remotely fair. And for all of us: I'm sorry that there's so much uncertainty around an already emotional and physically taxing time. This isn't what anyone signed up for, and I hope that in the long run your babies are blessings and bring enough joy to offset all of today's (and 2020's) worries.
If the hospital decides to stop allowing a support person I might call the midwives and just ask if they can help me out. This is our first and probably only child and it would break my heart to not have my husband there.
Married: 12/19/15
BFP: 9/4/17
EDD: 5/16/18
DD born 5/10/18
Postpartum Complications
BFP: 10/1/19
EDD: 6/12/20
My husband services industrial lasers. They are used in major manufacturing to cut sheet metal. He gets sent all over but this one is killing me.
So this is a super petty small thing to complain about, which I hope means we can all relate somehow and collectively laugh about it, but the one pregnancy craving I have not been able to shake and have had at the tippy top of my "when GD is over" indulgence list is a big, gooey cinnamon roll from a specific eatery downtown. It was supposed to be my graduation treat (Nov), but I was too tired and nauseous so we postponed. And then early December got so busy, and then I was diagnosed and it came off the menu until June. NOW THEY ARE CLOSING AND HAVE SAID THEY PROBABLY WON'T REOPEN. Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
@kyrwyn I think that is a totally valid complaint and man does a gooey cinnamon roll sound good right now! What a sucky situation. I will think some good thoughts that they don't close permanently.
@lilaros that’s about where we’re at too! My husband works at a cubicle and honestly could go the whole day without being within 6 ft of another person but at this point I don’t care. Every precaution seems worthwhile right nos
Married: 12/19/15
BFP: 9/4/17
EDD: 5/16/18
DD born 5/10/18
Postpartum Complications
BFP: 10/1/19
EDD: 6/12/20
the hatred that I feel for this dang virus and all the wrath it has caused is severe
Married: 12/19/15
BFP: 9/4/17
EDD: 5/16/18
DD born 5/10/18
Postpartum Complications
BFP: 10/1/19
EDD: 6/12/20
I think we're also still in the realm of hoping for a sip and see type party after baby gets here. Maybe you could focus your own purchases on items that you really need in June/July, when baby first comes home, and then rework your registry toward the things you'll need further out into parenthood. I found with my first that the stuff I needed right away was less expensive (caveat: no one gifted me a stroller or carseat and my nursery furniture is mostly hand-me-downs and IKEA) and the things I needed later (swing, bouncer, convertible carseat) were $$.
Married: 12/19/15
BFP: 9/4/17
EDD: 5/16/18
DD born 5/10/18
Postpartum Complications
BFP: 10/1/19
EDD: 6/12/20
Just in case anyone needed some sobering perspective on housebound toddlers.