Randoms (1/6 - 1/12)

shamrocandroll

Linsbins

I got written off work today because I have the uncontrollable shits from my GD medicine. So...while that sucks, at least I have the day off? 

Ask glad I remembered to check in on a Monday when the threads restart so I can keep up this week. It always gets away from me!

mamaqdubu

@Linsbins ugh i didn't know that was a side effect! So sorry to hear that. hope you feel better soon. 

Who watches The Bachelor? It's my not so guilty pleasure and the only reality show I watch (Maybe better as a FFMC?). Anyways, if there are enough of us I'll start it's own thread. I know it's not pregnancy related, but I also know it tends to be a fun thread in my other mom groups!

m6agua

@mamaqdubu I plan on watching. DH works tonight, so DD's bedtime will go into the first half hour tonight though. 

pirateduck

@mamaqdubu I was thinking of starting a Man Crush Monday thread this week, it's been awhile since we had one...  

Linsbins

@mamaqdubu big Bachelor fan here! But I like reading the spoilers as it films and watching it from that perspective.

sunshinesea22

@mamaqdubu I don’t watch regularly but I saw a commercial for it the other night and I just thought that the guy they have looks like he has zero personality and he’s not very attractive either. Maybe I’m wrong but nothing about him in the quick commercial made me want to watch this season.

JStill0603

@Linsbins can you ask your doc about titrations up on dose more slowly? Usually that happens when you start taking the full dose without allowing your body time to adjust. 

Count me in for watching the bachelor! 

ruby696

PSA: Motherhood online is having a flash sale. Tank tops are $5 to $10 (which I wear under my work shirts, so yay!)

pirateduck

I just got an email that the one huge project I've been working on is cancelled for now.  Normally I would be upset that I'd spent so much time working on something that won't come to fruition.  This is honestly a huge relief and now I will have nothing major hanging over me at work when I go out on maternity leave in spring.  

One day, when talking about leave, my boss mentioned something about how I'd still be reachable by phone/email if needed.  This is NOT how I view maternity leave.  If I am not working, I don't intend to be doing any work, not even consulting from home, I have bigger things to worry about in my postpartum days as a FTM.  Don't bother me with work when I'm not working.  Now that this project is off the table I should be in the clear.

shamrocandroll

@pirateduck That's actually illegal for him to expect you to be available during leave.  Especially is you're not being paid for all of it.  

fitandnerdy

sorry.. wrong board! Lol

mamaqdubu

Okay i'll start a Bachelor thread for fun!

Also, @pirateduck I agree w/ @shamrocandroll. It's 100% illegal, and HR would be all over him I'm sure if they found out he said or expected that from you. Especially if you have short term disability insurance through your company it becomes insanely unethical because the insurance company would be paying you even though your employer (presumably not paying you) would be getting the benefit of you working. Even if it's only for a phone call or an email. I would make sure you arm yourself with the necessary info and be very clear about your expectations and the law with him. 

drkoyya

We previously had a HSA/FSA conversation. Well its the new year and I learned that a bunch of pregnancy expenses can be reimbursed (prenatals, belly band, bras, etc.). However, my claim just got rejected for prenatal vitamins because I need to prove "its medically necessary". Always fun emailing my Doctor to ask for a letter to prove that I am pregnant. 

pirateduck

@shamrocandroll thank you for the heads up on that.  Yes, maternity leave is just 12 weeks unpaid FMLA time.  I know that currently I am salaried (not hourly) so if it’s my regular day off or outside of business hours I occasionally may be expected to respond to something.  I Can fully see how a medical leave of any sort should be treated differently.  We have a new HR person and I hope she knows her stuff and can help me navigate this.  So far my supervisor has been really understanding with time off for appointments and such even when it’s last minute and is very good about not asking prying questions etc if I don’t willingly want to talk about things.  

bender29

@pirateduck yeah, um no. Unpaid leave means you’re completely unavailable! 

Linsbins

@JStill0603 I’m waiting for a call back from the GD doctor today but if not I have an appointment at 3. They’re supposed to switch me medicines today since it’s been long enough where it shouldn’t be happening. I’m on the lowest dose and it was BAD the first five days but now it won’t go away. We will see what they say by dinnertime tonight!

@pirateduck I know this from my H who works at an insurance company (they do disability/life insurance). If you do anything for work, your disability can refuse to pay you because it’s seen as not being disabled if you can work. I had my first and was going to miss Back to School Night for my class, I wanted to go but could have lost all my disability pay. Just another angle to know if you need to tell your boss. Plus I’m not losing my disability pay over your phone call. Sucks you have a boss like that. 

@sunshinesea22 I think the lead is the most boring they’ve had in awhile. But most of the drama is coming from the girls (one sleeps with married men on the regular, the house splits into two factions and they fight each other a bunch) and they’ll just ride the windmill angle the whole time (he slept with last years lead four times in a windmill on their fantasy suite date). 

pirateduck

Unfortunately no disability.  I was already pregnant when open enrollment happened and you can't sign up for disability and claim pregnancy if you are already pregnant, which is a bit of a bummer when your company doesn't offer paid maternity leave.  I was hoping maybe I had a shot since it was open enrollment, but nope.

shamrocandroll

@pirateduck That doesn't sound right.  My disability was done separately from benefits enrollment.  Not many people plan their disabilities...

ruby696

@pirateduck When I went out on leave, I recall starting my own state disability leave claim online and my doctor sending paperwork in. It had nothing to do with my employer. It's been 3 years, but that's my recollection...

Eta: words 

pirateduck

There's no state disability in most states @ruby696 unfortunately.

Our enrollment for disability insurance is at the same time as open enrollment for all other benefits.  I spoke with the reps when they were here on site to answer questions.  I could have singed up and if I had a new disability I could make a claim, like if I broke my leg or something and couldn't work, but since I was already pregnant it's pre-existing and the STD doesn't have to cover missed work because of it.

ruby696

I forget that, @pirateduck. It really is unacceptable that women aren't provided with the necessary pay/leave. It's not like maternity leave is a vacation.

pirateduck

It's not like we'll be poolside sipping cocktails when the babies arrive!  

m6agua

I think @pirateduck is saying she wasn't signed up for the STD plan in 2019 and if she signed up for it in 2020 it would not benefit her since she was already pregnant. There are a lot of companies that do not offer STD paid by them. For DHs job they have to sign up for it and the premiums (although minimal) come out of each paycheck. With most STD plans you need to have the plan so many months prior to becoming pregnant.

For example, my last job I was hired and we wanted to start TTC. I had to wait 30 days until I got the STD paid by the company, then the STD plan required that I had the plan for 6 months prior to becoming pregnant in order to receive the benefits for birth. So I was hired in Jan, got STD in Feb and had to wait until July 1st. It also worked out with my cycle that I ovulated shortly after July 1st, but still had to avoid that cycle because pregnancy being tracked by LMP.

mokay19

My employer offered me partial pay for the beginning of maternity leave and said that if I wanted to get full pay for the second half, I could work from home. I’ll definitely be taking them up on that since it’ll be much nicer doing 3D modeling and responding to emails topless breastfeeding in bed lol. So @pirateduck maybe if you want to email back occasionally you can ask them for pay...?
Idk logistics though since I’m not in HR figuring it out. 

shamrocandroll

That sucks.  Although I still think if you're not being paid for your leave, you should not be doing work for them.  If you are, then they need to pay you.

pirateduck

@m6agua exactly.  If I was already covered I could continue coverage, but I did not have a STD plan in 2019 that I paid into.  

@mokay19 if they want to keep me on the books and pay me part time to work from home that's a different story entirely, but I would like to take some uninterrupted leave where I can just focus on family as well.  After that I am open to working from home some or part time or something, but we'll see how things go.  FMLA leave doesn't need to be taken all in one chunk, instead of 12 weeks in a row, you could take 3 days a week for example for an extended time and work 2 days a week if you wanted.  Or you could take days before baby is born to cover doctor visits if you don't have other ways to do that.

sunshinesea22

I look forward to the day (probably 30 years from now) when we no longer have to worry about getting paid while we recover from childbirth and care for our new babies. It really is messed up that we have to hope we have timed our STD coverage correctly or even have that as an option. My company switched our short term disability provider 2 weeks after I found out I was pregnant. Obviously I did not know they were going to change providers, so how could I have planned for that?! Luckily it sounds like the new provider will pay out because I did have STD from our old provider when I got pregnant. But seriously the limbo for weeks of not knowing just how screwed I could be was not enjoyable. 

lisush

@sunshinesea22 yes maybe our children will have it better. Our system is ridiculous and then they complain we're not having enough kids. 

catem07

If you are on FMLA leave it is illegal for them to contact you. If your company has paid maternity leave and you’re using that, it might be different (but any reasonable company should not expect you to be available while on leave). 

mokay19

@pirateduck yes, I know. I plan to take 9 weeks up front with the first 6 out of communication. Then I told them for the next 3 weeks I’d be open to working from home to an extent and getting paid. I liked with DD saving some time for the rest of the year (baby’s first year of life, not calendar year) to take a day here and there to spend with the baby or recover from a sleep regression or go to doctors appointments. But if they weren’t paying me, I wouldn’t reply. 

mamaj1220

I just fell down my stairs, from the top to the bottom of them. My poor DS watched the whole thing because we were leaving for school and ran in and got DF. I called my OB and am waiting to hear back. No bleeding or anything but I figured it was worth a call.

mokay19

@mamaj1220 I’m so sorry to hear that! Hopefully they get back to you ASAP and give you some peace of mind! Did you feel movement before to be able to focus on that and count those?

rachelg777

@mamaj1220 oh no! I hope everything is okay, keep us updated!

mamaj1220

@mokay19 I feel him moving though more at night right now but I’m going to go in at 9:20 for heart beat check and to talk about what to look for.

mokay19

@mamaj1220 I’m glad they’re getting you in for a check! Hopefully it all turns out no big deal!

mokay19

@m6agua was it you that said you already received your welcome box from Amazon...? How did you get it? 

ruby696

@mamaj1220 Oh no, that's so scary. I hope everything is fine. Let us know how your appt goes. 

mamaqdubu

@mamaj1220 oh no!!! i'm so sorry. Did you hurt anything else, or land on your tummy? I'm glad you are getting checked out. I had a few winter falls in my last pregnancies that scared me, but they are usually pretty cozy and safe in there. thinking of you!

pirateduck

@mamaj1220 I hope all is well.  I’m sure baby will be just fine, and hope you are not too sore later from your fall!

@mokay19 I made my Amazon registry ages ago and no welcome box.  Something about completing the checklist, which I have to figure out because I didn’t register for a bunch of unnecessary stuff in their 10 million categories.  Also I registered for a bunch of my stuff at Target because I liked looking at it in person.

mokay19

@pirateduck I thought you just had to have stuff in the category OR check the box. But maybe I’m mistaken and that’s why! Hmmm