WTF Wednesday 10/23/19

NYTino24

NYTino24

Thanks, AF for waking me up at 4:30 am. 

gingermama29

@NYTino24 sorry for AF.

My WTF is discovering last night that I need another super expensive basement repair. I ranted about it in the dailies but it's definitely a massive WTF.

emeraldduchess

@NYTino24 sorry for the rude wakeup call from AF. That would tick me off too.

@gingermama29 ugh to your basement repairs. Sometimes owning a home really sucks. 

My WTF is the freezing temperatures in my classroom. Even if it's 60+ degrees outside, it's still cold in my room. 

NYTino24

@emeraldduchess Classroom temps are always the worst! It’s either Antarctica or Africa with not much in between. 
@gingermama29 Any estimate on cost and timeframe? That sucks.

gingermama29

@NYTino24 not sure. I didn't realize it was a problem until after 8 last night. I put in an inspection request with the same company that fixed my other walls and am just waiting to hear from them. They did the job in a day last time.

Editing to add that I already got a call back from them and they're coming out tonight to check it out.

babyodo

My WTF for today (and this is going to sound totally lame) is how expensive my coffee was at Starbucks this morning. I don't go to Starbucks often because 1) I'm not a huge fan of the taste of their coffee, and 2) I have a Keurig at home and usually just make a to-go cup before leaving for work. Except today I forgot, so I swung by Starbucks to treat myself to a grande white chocolate mocha. It cost SIX BUCKS! What the hell? I'm so glad this is not an every day thing, because I'd be in the poor house.

ziggymama06

@gingermama29 Sorry for your unexpected basement repair!!  Seems like with owning a house it's one thing after the next.  We are still making some upgrades on our home and they are just continuous.  Hoping the bill isn't too bad.

@NYTino24 I'm sorry for AF and in such a rude way.  Ice cream today for use 

@emeraldduchess Ugh being cold is the worst!  I'm always freezing so keep a heater under my desk that is on the minute I walk in until I leave for the night.  Wear many layers girl... stay warm.

@ttcbabyodo wow that is a lot!  That's my go to drink too and it's usually just under $5 for a grande... more like $6 for the venti.  I only treat myself to it like once to twice a month.  There's a keurig at work and my boss orders me french vanilla kcups

My WTF is that I'm going to be working super late tonight with back to back meetings in NYC... I won't get home til like 10:30pm... and I left my house normal time around 7:30am.  Really hoping boss says I can come in a little late tomorrow.

NamelessAria

I just got an email about prenatal services and cord blood banking from an OBGYN office in New Jersery. I have never gotten medical care of any kind in NJ. I have never lived in NJ. I have absolutely no logical reason to be receiving emails from an OBGYN in NJ. Ugh WTF.

ETA: Also, obviously, I'm not pregnant. So yeah. Even if I lived in NJ or whatever that email wouldn't have been something I needed.

inthewoods23

@NamelessAria I've see that advertisement on a sponsored post on FB. Like "k great, I'll think about that when I get there thanks..."

mvt2003

I have multiple WTFs today. All trigger-y AF, so putting it in a spoiler. All references to being KU. 

I woke up this morning and checked my FB, and saw multiple announcements of pregnancy. Whether it was strangers on Disney Junkies or a girl in my WW group telling us that "remember the night I wasn't feeling well and asked everyone to send me cute pictures? Well whoops I'm KU!" It just felt like being kicked while I was down. 

Then this afternoon, I got tagged on insta by my SiL trying to win an athletic clothing giveaway but the contest is being run by a pregnant blogger so the campaign features her bump prominently in athletic gear. 

It might be time to turn my social channels completely off and sign out of the apps until I know wtf is going on with my plans. I had dialed them wayyyy back but the time might have come to completely stop. 

emeraldduchess

@mvt2003 @NamelessAria it totally feels like these announcements/ads etc. come in waves. And it always seems to happen when we're already feeling lousy about this whole process. 

gingermama29

Ugh continuing my WTF. The basement company came out this afternoon to check it out. It's going to have to be a partial rebuild because it's a load bearing wall and there's 5 inches of movement with the wall. They quoted us around 22k.

inthewoods23

This is dumb and of no importance but...

Wtf me. I needed a particular grocery store brand item in addition to a 2nd item. They don't stock the 2nd item very well (it's almost always not on the shelf when I go) so I stopped at a different grocery first to pick up the 2nd item. I realized once I was home making dinner that I had TWO opportunities to pick up garlic powder that I've been meaning to pick up for the last few weeks. Dammit! Stupid forgetful brain.

At least I don't need it... Yet 🤷‍♀️

emeraldduchess

Oh man, @gingermama29 that's a LOT to process. 
@inthewoods23 I constantly forget to buy stuff at the grocery store, even if it's the specific reason for stopping on the way home. I really shouldn't shop when I am hungry. 

NYTino24

Shit, @gingermama29! I hope a second opinion brings the price down! 
@mvt2003 I’ve found I can’t escape it at all. Announcements are on the radio and websites too. I’m trying to see it as all these people who beat the odds because really I have no other choice that keeps me sane. 

PS CD1 was soooo bad it went through a Super tampon and liner in a couple of hours. Last night I woke up twice. Went through Super+ and a pad. Grrrr. Usually CD2 is the bad one so I’m dreading the whole not being able to go to the bathroom when I need to at work...

bows22

@gingermama29 oh my gosh that makes me want to throw up. I’m so sorry. I agree with @NYTino24 that I hope you are pleasantly surprised by a second opinion. Would wall anchors be an option? I don’t know much about them but our house has them and it has something to do with movement 

gingermama29

@bows22 and @NYTino24 we likely won't shop for a second opinion. We shopped around a lot for our last basement wall issue before we landed on this company. They did amazing work last time, were fast and efficient, and we trust them. The guy that came out talked us through what it would be to anchor it out rebuild. He  the said between the cost of steel (they'd be custom i-beams) and how close together they'd have to install them which would increase the number of beams we need, it ends up being roughly the same cost whether we anchor it or rebuild.  
Edited for clarification and spelling

bluetickgal

@gingermama29 ugh, that is a huge hit!! So sorry friend!! That is good you feel comfortable with the company you will be working with, and it sounds like things will be done right to avoid problems in the future!! 

@NYTino24 hope AF got the worst out of the way yesterday, and today won’t be so bad! 

kiki047

I know this is a Wednesday thread but I need to vent today. *TW* ahead for PG mentioned.

Have a "friend" who has been going through the TTC process with me for the last 2 years. We took very different approaches but in the end her first IVF cycle was successful and now she's every obnoxious PG stereotype out there. At 6wks she's giving "advice" on her IG accounts and everything everywhere is just all about her. 

We specifically talked about what things would be like if one of us got KU before the other, and how we would handle that and I thought we were on the same page about it but she had her first US this morning and I'm having a real shitty week because my clinic was closed so couldn't get back to me about scheduling my next IUI this cycle so we're SOL this month. So obviously the last thing I needed was her unsolicited, out of the blue text bragging about her US results and how outstanding they are. I've already unfollowed all her SM accounts but I didn't think I'd have to block her texts too. 

TL;DR - tried to establish ground rules with a friend before either of us got KU but now that she is and I'm not, apparently those rules went out the window so pretty sure I need to cut her off for a little while to protect my (already) broken heart.

dpchickens

kiki047  I'm so sorry.... it seems like many people who suffer IF and PG issues and get their miracles tend to easily forget how difficult the journey was. It makes it super difficult for those of us who get left behind.  I'm sorry you're dealing with that. 

b_1029

@kiki047 I'm so sorry she isn't respecting what you guys discussed. I would assume you don't forget the pain of IF that quickly but dang, seems like she's just breezing right along and forgets how things affect those going through iF. 

kiki047

@dpchickens @b_1029 thanks guys, I knew you'd understand. I'm feeling a little less triggered by it this afternoon but I still haven't composed myself enough to even acknowledge or respond to her text. She caught me at the worst time after crying halfway to work over a bad dream and MH having a really tough week accepting that this just isn't happening for us. 

ruby696

*lurking*

@kiki047 I would be mortified if I treated someone that way - even unintentionally. Maybe, since she's a friend, you should just let her know how hurtful she's being. She *should* be horrified. And hopefully more conscientious in the future. 

emeraldduchess

@kiki047 I don't have anything to add except hugs.

That's obnoxious that she seems to have blinders on about what could be triggering now that she's KU. 

kiki047

@ruby696 I mean, you would think, right?! 
@emeraldduchess she's 6w3d, has she really been pregnant for SO LONG that she's forgotten how f&cking triggers work already? Sorry, definitely not swearing at you, I'm just in total disbelief that someone that claims to be one of my BFFs is so blind to this issue.

Update: (Even more ragey today). 

I sent her the following last night and she didn't even apologize. 

"Hey, sorry it's taken me a while to respond. You caught me unaware at a really bad time and it's taken me most of the day to find some composure. I know we talked about it a little before but maybe it's a discussion that needs to be had again now that one of us is pregnant and the other one isn't. I'm happy for you, I really am, and I want to know how things are going but I think it needs to be on my terms. However unfair that might be. You can of course come to me if something comes up and we'll get through it together. It was just really bad timing after a bad night and a tough morning."

And her response was "I thought about it after I had messaged you too. I'm sorry you had a bad day."



"I'm sorry you had a bad day"?! Really? I was so mad at that point I just stopped talking. I've never been pregnant so maybe I'm missing something but does nothing else matter once you're KU? Maybe I'm just too fired up but that comes off as so unbelievably smug to me. Her last message was "It's hard to break the cycle of talking through all of it with you. I'll keep it out of the conversation unless you ask." Still not an apology. Andplusalso, that's what the agreement was supposed to be, when one of us gets KU and the other is still struggling, we're supposed to let the other one take the lead. ALSO, it wasn't a conversation in the first place because she just messaged me out of the blue with her US results. *RAGE*

babyodo

@kiki047 - Isn't she the one who is also posting a bunch of know-it-all stuff on IG? If she's only 6 weeks along, I can't imagine she'd have much to say at this point. I know I sure didn't when I was that far along. I was still in the "OMG this is real" shock of it. But, different strokes for different folks, I guess. Sorry she's being insufferable. I'd probably send a breakup text or slowly distance myself until things settle down and I'm in a better frame of mind.

meri-mac

@kiki047 Oh hun, I am so sorry. "Friends" like that are so toxic. She doesn't seem to see what she said was inconsiderate at all. Otherwise, she would have apologized for being inconsiderate. Take whatever steps you need to protect yourself. I agree with @ttcbabyodo with the distancing plan.

kiki047

@ttcbabyodo yup, that's the one. Good memory. She's posting "advice" on stuff like what not to say to PG women or how to overcome symptoms. She's been KU for 5 minutes. Also, she's in a unique position because she's been so open about her journey so most people aren't plastering their pregnancy all over SM in their 1st trimester. I personally think it's obnoxious but to each their own. 
@meri-mac sooo toxic. I definitely need some space between us. It wouldn't be so bad if she just apologized or showed any kind of remorse but I didn't get any of that from the few snippy responses I got. Maybe I find it triggering because when I broke up with my cheating ex and told him he broke my heart his response was "I'm sorry you feel that way." such a SOAB.

meri-mac

@kiki047 OMG! Nothing like knowing you made the right decision. What a jacka**!! Sounds like a jock teenager response in a TV show!

mvt2003

@kiki047 I'm so sorry, I have someone similar. I've kind of just ghosted tbh. She was KU for like 30 seconds and obnoxiously posting about it constantly, and now that she's had the baby it's worse. TW below:

She posts almost daily photos of her LO in our WW group (to be clear, most people post pics of their LOs etc. so it's not out of left field) and a couple of weeks ago, another girl in our group said she was inspired by photos of that girl's LO and asked everyone to post photos etc. And now the 2nd girl is KU with #2, and my original friend is "jokingly" saying she's responsible and posting more pics of her baby "in case it inspires anyone else" and I almost threw something across the room. I'm probably going to "come out" as being in IF treatment in that group at some point soon, not that it will make any sort of a difference. And logically I know I can't ask anyone to change their behaviors to suit me, I just need to grit my teeth and deal with it. Thanks for letting me vent!