July 2019 Moms

Ask a STM+ February


Re: Ask a STM+ February

  • @msimi - Our 2.5 year old is still in the bed with us. :) She slept in a bassinet beside our bed until 6 months. Then she went to her own room. Then we moved and it threw everything out of whack and she has been in our bed ever since. My husband and I LOVE having her in the bed with us, so we just haven't felt the need to make it a thing. It is crazy, but we are planning on just keeping her there with new baby in bassinet in our room. She is an insanely heavy sleeper, so I don't think it will be an issue. My hope is that eventually we will move her and new baby to their shared room together when new baby is ready for that. (IDK whether that will be when new baby is 1 or 5.  :D )

    Hospital bag - I packed stupid stuff that I thought I needed during labor and didn't (an adult coloring book, a tennis ball for massage, etc.). Ended up vegging out to murder mysteries on tv the entire time. I did NOT pack enough clothes for myself. I went through more clothes than expected due to blood and baby spit up and everything else. haha. I also wish I would have packed maybe 2-3 refillable water bottles. Breastfeeding makes me so thirsty, so my husband was having to go refill the same water bottle every 30 minutes.
    Things I'm glad I brought: our own pillows, a boppy, tons of different snacks, a big jacket for my husband (he was freezing in l&d room).

    Registry - Wish I would have gotten a backpack diaper bag instead of the over-the-shoulder kind. Needed way more plain white baby socks (you'll get a million cutesy pink or blue socks, but those don't match anything.) Eventually discovered a bottle warmer and wish I would have gotten it sooner. Loved my Ergobaby carrier. The baby sleep breathing monitor thing and fancy baby bottles never got used.  Microwavable bottle cleaner was pointless. 

  • nopegoatnopegoat member
    edited February 2019
    @meandlittleb the first time around I definitely wished I would have brought more snacks, my own pillow, and a much longer phone charger.

    I also wished I would have brought a few more going home outfits for the baby in different sizes. We brought 2 in newborn/0-3 and he was swimming in it. 

    @strickland8052 I was the opposite and didn't need so many clothes for myself. I stayed in the gown and mesh undies they provided pretty much the whole time.

    Wife. Boy mom x6. Expecting #7. Wannabe homesteader.
    , 💙💙💙💙💙💙
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  • I saw a lot of responses in the "things I thought" thread about kids not eating what you put in front of them. At what point/age would you consider this a serious problem? I get that a lot of kids are picky eaters and might go through a phase of eating just mac and cheese or something. But my parents let my sister's picky eating go untreated until she was 18 and couldn't believe it when doctors said she had an eating disorder. I don't know if any doctor ever said she was too thin and my parents brushed it off or if no doctor ever said anything until my sister was taken to a specialist. Probably my number one FTM fear is letting the same thing happen to my kids. :/ 
  • nopegoatnopegoat member
    edited February 2019
    @hestia14 our boys have definitely gone through picky stages and we may make slight modifications to dinner depending on what we are having but for the most part they eat what we eat. Our rule is you have to try one bite of everything and we make sure we offer meals where there's at least one thing everybody likes. Also healthy snacks must be eaten before crap. We also add a multivitamin as soon as they are old enough.

    We also harp on food being energy for our bodies and what different foods help with. Currently my 4yr old is going through a picky with meat phase and we keep reminding him that protein is what makes his muscles and bones strong. My 6yr old started refusing veggies because kids in his class don't like them, particularly carrots, and we remind him that they were good for his eyes (he prides himself on being able to spot different bugs, snakes, and find things his brothers can't). 

    Being a good example is also huge here. H and I make sure to show them that even we have to follow the rules and try something we think we won't like. 

    Our kids do not have any sensory or texture issues though and I fully admit mealtimes can be hell because of our approach and some days we say eff it and give them whatever. 

    So long story short, our kids go through picky phases but we are constantly trying and offering different things to help combat it. 

    No judgement to those who do different. You have to pick your battles when it comes to kids and this is one battle that H and I have personally chosen to fight.

    ETA I so didn't answer your question. I'd say I'd consider it a serious problem when my kids health, weight, and teeth started to suffer. 
    Wife. Boy mom x6. Expecting #7. Wannabe homesteader.
    , 💙💙💙💙💙💙
  • The mealtime battle is real.  I remember getting so cocky when my 1-year-old would try anything and was eating whatever we offered.  Little did I know, the pickiness doesn't start until years later (around 2+), when they realize that they have power at the table to refuse foods and exert independence.  We also have a rule that they have to taste anything before saying they don't like it.  But that rule makes the dinner table a stressful battleground and I will say it's what has driven me to panic attacks more often than any other aspect of parenting. We've gone through this stage with all 3 of my kids (currently still in this stage with the younger two).  But we have a 6 year old who seems like she has come out on the other side with really good eating habits which I hope continue (fingers crossed).  I totally agree with PP who mentioned the importance of modeling good eating habits.  They really are watching.  
  • Stuff I wish I packed in my hospital bag:

    1. Ear plugs (it was noisy and I had trouble sleeping)
    2. BOPPY

    Stuff that was pointless for me to bring:

    1. Massage tools
    2. iPod and speakers 
    3. Books/activities/things for boredom because there is no boredom
    4. Clothes that I cared about getting blood on

    Really all I needed was a change of clothes, going home outfit for baby, phone charger and whatever toiletries, toothpaste/brush shampoo, comb, etc.  Some people like their own pads and undies.  I'm sorry but I loved their pads and those mesh things were the best ever!
  • @hestia14 This is something we are currently dealing with because our son is likely at risk for an eating disorder. He's only five but both my husband and my FIL ended up with eating disorders as preteens-teenagers. My FIL was hospitalized several times; my husband's never got that bad but he still struggles with many foods today. All of their eating disorders come from sensory issues, not the typically discussed control/body image issues.
    My son doesn't mind the textures of food but struggles with the feeling of food moving down his esophagus and the feeling of becoming full. He was able to verbalize this when he was about 2.5 years old and that's when we knew we had a problem not just a picky eater.
    He panics when he sees a mixed type food, like pasta, because he can't gauge how "full" it will make him feel. He likes foods to stand alone, ie. plain fruit or veg, plain bread, plain yogurt. We can get him to eat peanut butter on toast but he won't even touch a peanut butter AND jelly sandwich, for example. While he does eat an okay variety of fruit and veg, we are constantly concerned about his protein, iron, etc.
    We have a good group of medical pros who work with him so we feel that he's in good hands but it certainly isn't fun and it takes up far more of our mental and emotional energy than we expected.
    Despite everything, we keep our conversations around food and mealtimes light and relaxed. Stress and forcing things doesn't help the situation. Repeatedly offering things in a low-key manner can help them become familiar enough with a food that they will eventually be happy to try it. And modelling good eating habits is huge. Our son understands that while his feelings about food are legitimate it's important that he keep trying to expand his palate.
  • Hospital bag: My necessities.
    - Boppy (works great for propping baby up in bed with you too)
    - Face wipes (so refreshing during and after labor)
    - Comfy clothes & slippers 
    - Flip-flops for the shower
    - phone charger, books, magazines, notebook. 

  • Hospital bag things I used: toothbrush and tooth paste, phone charger, hair ties, camera and that’s about it! 

    Yes to the boppy! I stayed in the hospital gown until I was discharged, so just needed a going home outfit. Didn’t put baby in an outfit until we went home
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • Any STMs thinking of doing a special trip with LO before baby is born? I am trying to think of special  we can do with our 2YO
  • @Bear14+ yep. I might do little things like put spaghetti sauce on the side instead of on the noodles, or trade something out if it's super spice but otherwise 99% of the time we eat the same thing. I've got too many kids to cater to everyone. 
    Wife. Boy mom x6. Expecting #7. Wannabe homesteader.
    , 💙💙💙💙💙💙
  • Looks like the Boppy is a must! Thanks for all the great feedback ladies! @key33 face wipes are a brilliant idea. I barely have energy to wash my face on a nightly basis while not pregnant!
  • @nopegoat and @Bear14+ thank you, thank you, thank you!! I was raised that I had to eat what was made and I intend to raise my kid the same. DH and I even discussed exactly what you do Bear14. If they don't want to eat right then, that's fine, they can have it when they're hungry. Will there be fights? For sure, but eventually they'll figure it out. Some things are very important to a family, and this is one of those things for me.

    One thing I hope to do is have LO pick a meal each week when he/she gets old enough. I want to do that for a few reasons. First, as a bargaining chip, i.e. "we ate your meal last night, so you've got to eat daddy's meal tonight. You'll get to pick again in a few days." Second, as a tool to teach them good health and balanced meals. Third, to transition into teaching them how to shop and cook.

    One thing DH and I really want to be cognizant of is not forcing our kid to eat. While it's sometimes necessary due to timing and various schedules, we want to try to teach our child to eat as much as needed. DH was forced to finish his plate. I was forced to "try" everything, but have vivid memories of being forced to eat almost every meal. Both of us grew up with an unhealthy relationship with food which took years and years to overcome. I want to do better for our kid.
  • DS has a will of steel and would rather skip a treat and go to bed hungry rather than eat his dinner sometimes. You could take anything from him and he’d still hold out. Considering he’s on the skinny side it’s not the best method for us so I just try to make meals he will likely eat and separate components out for him. if DH and I want something weird for dinner DS gets a different dinner. 

    Also so this child used to snake kale salad from me when he was a young toddler and he’s always been given heathy, whole foods but since age 2 it was a game changer and we’ve been steadily working on improvements over the past 2.5+ years. 
  • @mamanbebe I can relate. We have a couple "will of steel" kiddos and as tough as it is, I wouldn't trade it. I actually kind of love how opinionated and independent they are.
  • Ugh, yall are scaring me with the food talk! I have a 14 month old that eats most things. I guess it is better to know that I might be facing a struggle soon, so I know it isn't some failure on my part. Sounds a lot like breastfeeding - easier for some more than others, but not necessarily easy. 
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • I follow an account on Instagram called feeding littles. Great info on feeding babies, toddler and older kids! 

    My oldest is a terrible eater, my youngest eats amazing. We haven’t done anything different with them, so who knows why. My pediatrician always tells me he isn’t going to starve himself, and there’s been nights where he goes to bed without eating dinner. It sounds awful, but we always serve at least one thing on his plate we know he likes, so it’s up to him to decide what and how much he will eat. He’s made huge improvements recently so I’m hopeful that eventually he will just be open to trying more things 
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • @sarac986 I’ve been wondering the same thing. I’ve been thinking about a day trip instead of overnight to make it less expensive, less work, and less stressful. I’m not sure if we’ll do one or what we’ll do! 🤷🏻‍♀️
  • @sarac986 I took my oldest to Disney just the two of us a couple of months before my due date. He absolutely loved it and I’m so glad we did it! 
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • Thank you all for the picky eating tips. @nolemomma14 - I will definitely check out that Instagram! @alliecourcel - I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this with your son. If nothing else, I'm sure the family history at least clued you in on what to look for so you could pinpoint the issue early.
    My sister's thing is a combination of body image issues, control, and texture. (I truly believe she has/had some kind of undiagnosed sensory processing disorder based on some other odd behaviors she had as a kid.) She frequently complained about texture, and even though my parents told her to "try" certain foods, most of the time she just stuck it on the end of her tongue and threw it back on her plate. (My parents always laughed at this, but I never found it funny, especially because she did this until age 18.)
    My hope is to instill a rule that my kids have to at least try a bite of everything, meaning, put it in their mouth and chew it. If they can't get past the point of having it in their mouth, then maybe it is a texture issue. If there is something wrong, I want my kids to feel comfortable explaining why. (I still have a vivid memory of staring at a bowl of cereal filled with foamy milk, but being too scared to explain why it bothered me because I was convinced my dad would say, "It's fine. Just eat your breakfast.") And I absolutely want to set a good example. The one food I absolutely cannot stand is celery, but I am more than willing to force myself to eat some if it shows my toddler that we all should keep trying foods even if we don't think we'll like them.
    My sister was teased most of her life for being too skinny. I know kids can be mean, but if my child was a picky eater and came home complaining that people were making fun of her/him, I don't want to brush it off or fat-shame like my parents did. I want to tell them, "It's not right that they made fun of you, but I've tried to tell you you're not eating enough. It's important that you eat balanced meals so that you keep a healthy weight."
    It's been a busy week for the crazy that is my family, huh? ;) 
  • Yes to the boppy! I had a robe, slippers, chargers, a camera if you don't have a good phone. We were there for a week so extra clothes for me and baby. We were near the pantry room so we didn't need our own snacks since dh would go out to get us things.

    For picky eaters, our pedi wasn't concerned since dd stayed on the curve and in her percentile. Definitely find healthy snacks to help. Now if we make something we know she probably won't eat she gets to make herself a sandwich or hotdog with carrots and a fruit.

    @sarac986 we are taking dd out of school for a week and going on a beach vacation. 
  • tsa208tsa208 member
    edited February 2019
    The one thing I will be sure to bring back to the hospital this time is my delivery gown and robe. I got my delivery gown off of Amazon and I'm pretty sure it's the picture below. I did NOT wear this during delivery  - lol, I didn't care what I had on during delivery and I'm 99% I was fully nude by the end. But I did really like wearing this gown once I moved to recovery. It was very comfortable, very simple for nursing with the shoulder snaps (instead of opening the whole front of the gown like the delivery gowns they gave me to wear). I didn't have a ton of visitors (I wanted them to wait until we got home) but it was nice to be somewhat presentable when family arrived the day after birth, while being practical about being covered, having easy nursing access, being able to have all the openings the doc wanted to check my nether regions, etc. I totally loved this gown for its functionality and wore it long into my initial postpartum period. It was like $25 so I wasn't concerned about all of the bodily fluids I got on it (mine and baby's!) but it's cotton and it all washed out anyways.

    Nothing special about the robe, was just nice to be warm!

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • Is a diaper genie really necessary? Of all the things, my MIL said I'm being naive in not wanting one; but I nannied for years, the family didn't have one and everything was fine.
  • tsa208tsa208 member
    edited February 2019
    @samanthak46 if you take the poop diapers out regularly (like daily), then no. But I only take the upstairs trash out once a week. So I need it. Even just 2 days of poop diapers stinks up the room! Whenever I open the lid to put a diaper in there and get a whiff of what's lurking in there, I'm glad I have one!

    I imagine a lot of covered trashcans would work if they seal halfway decently. But the basic 30$ diaper genie is a must have for me.

    Breastfed baby poop doesnt smell so you could get away with it as long as you are exclusively breastfeeding. But once you add in formula or food, watch out!
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • @samanthak46 I had one with #1 and barely used it. Skipped it with the rest. 
    Wife. Boy mom x6. Expecting #7. Wannabe homesteader.
    , 💙💙💙💙💙💙
  • @samanthak46 like @tsa208 said. We take out the trash once a week and I liked the diaper pail. Im babysitting my nephew and we don't have one right now and I hate having to run outside (especially when it's freezing out) just to take out a diaper. If we had a connected garage with the trash located in there it would be a different story. 
  • @samanthak46 we never had one for either of our babies. We buy the arm n hammer fresh diaper bags and toss the poopy diapers in one and then into the trash they go. Pee diapers just go straight into the trash
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • @samanthak46 + 1 for the yes to the diaper pail...it seems like people either love or hate them!! For me I think it’s because we live in an apartment so we would have to take the diaper out immediately or it would make the whole place stink! And realistically I’m not doing that each time :)
  • For sure needed the diaper pail - we liked the Ubbi one. The newborn poop isn't an issue but it gets pretty potent when they start solids.
  • Yep, I have an Ubbi, I loved it until we started solids.. every time I opened it with a #2 diaper inside it smelled horrible! Sooo I only use a diaper pail until we start solids. 
  • We needed a diaper pail because I didn't/couldn't traipse up and down the stairs with my C-section. We have a dekor and it works well in terms of smell (for about 5-6 days til it starts to stink) and also in keeping the toddler out of it. Only shitty thing was it broke after 2 yrs and we had to get another.
  • I had a diaper pail, but it wasn't anything fancy. It could be used for either cloth or disposable:


    It kept the smell in no problem but to avoid the older baby/toddler poop smell waft when you open it, dump solid poops into the toilet and flush them before you throw the diaper in the pail. And honestly, with that logic you could just throw your diapers in the regular trash and not have any issue. 
  • @mamanbebe most of the baby/toddler poops weren't a consistency to do that, at least not on a regular basis. It was just easier for me to throw the entire diaper away. 
  • Bear14+ said:
    @mamanbebe most of the baby/toddler poops weren't a consistency to do that, at least not on a regular basis. It was just easier for me to throw the entire diaper away. 
    This. When they are solid, I don't generally remember to go to the toilet because I still have a toddler on the changing table.
  • @bear14+ @foodislove I realize that not everything works for everyone, but I honestly recall that once we were on solids they could often peel out of the diaper into the toilet when I shook it a little, esp because I was no longer BFing. I also did standup changes in the bathroom for DS starting a little before a year a half because that's what they did at his montessori school.  Later on into the 2s-3 before potty training I did this exclusively because I was so over stinky poop diapers in the pail. 
  • We really like do the ubbi- occasionally we’d do some charcoal in the bottom to freshen it up. 
  • Answering all of the questions because I was on vacation last week:

    1) She slept with us (in our room, not our bed) until 2 years old.  We wanted her in our room for 6 months because of fear of SIDS.  Her heart condition hadn't really improved by 6 months, so we waited until a year.  Then it wasn't worth the fight.  She transitioned to a toddler bed at 2 years.

    2) My cats avoided all of us for the first few months.

    3) I make my daughter take one bite of a food she doesn't eat regularly each day.  Besides that she lives on gf mac and cheese and gf chicken nuggets.  She will eat salad with no "sauce" (dressing).
  • Assuming no elective US and no complications, are there any ultrasounds after the AS?
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