I'll start: how long (if at all) did baby sleep in your room? We live in a very small house, so the nursery will be close to our room, and I'm trying to figure out how long I should expect baby to be in our room/when people typically move them to their own room. I know there's probably a wide range of experiences but I'd love to know the "why" behind it
@msimi I've never had my kids in my room. DH has always slept with the TV on and he gets home from work late (11-12am)...it was always so disruptive especially because I use white noise and it's annoying at night to listen to. I slept for a little in my daughters room because we left a bed in there and it was amazing...I would start them off in the crib and sleep in my room and then just pass out in there after the night feeding.
@msimi I think for 6 months? That wasn't planned. But I just didn't want to get up and walk to her nursery for night feedings, so I kept her in a bassinet by the bed until she started sleeping better through the night.
My first was in our room for about 6 weeks. He was a unicorn sleeper and since he slept so well we decided to move him early. My second was on our room for about 3 months. He was actually an awful sleeper lol but I figured if he was going to sleep terribly regardless he might as well get use to being in his crib. We will see how this baby is!
We bedshare until about 4-6 months. This is when they usually start moving around and wiggling more. Then we transition them to a crib in our room for a bit then they move to their own room around 9mos or so and sttn by 1yr old.
This is just what's been easier and more comfortable for me since I have been able to EBF all my boys.
Wife. Boy mom x6. Expecting #7. Wannabe homesteader. , 💙💙💙💙💙💙
DD was in our room until 8 months. I planned on doing 6 months as per the guidelines from health Canada for SIDS reduction but at the time we didn’t have central air conditioning and she was 6 months in the heat of summer so I didn’t want her in a room without A/C and I wasn’t comfortable putting a window unit in her room so I felt better having her in with us so I could regulate the temperature of our window unit. Once we had a furnace and central air put in we moved her to her own room, she was just passed 8 months at that point.
Definitely will get a wide variety of answers ultimately do whatever is comfortable for you and baby. I personally found my anxiety was lessened having her close and it was easier for middle of the night feeding but not everyone has that experience so whatever is best for you is the right decision!
3 weeks. DS was such a LOUD sleeper, I couldn't take it anymore. His room was across the hall and our monitor could be customized to sound sensitivity so I felt comfortable moving him over + he was a pretty good sleeper at night for those first 3 months. Once the big sleep regression set in, it was almost better to have him in his own room anyway since DH and I alternated nights of who handled wakeups, that way one person always got ok sleep.
This time, the plan is that I'll be sleeping in LO's room/guest room/office until they sleep through the night. No idea when that could be.. I think with DS it was around 6-7 months.
Our first slept in our room until 6 or 7 months mostly for convience with night feedings. Once we moved her to her own room she slept for much longer stretches cause we got black out curtains and started night weaning. I wish we would have done it sooner!
DD slept in our room until 4 months. Like @mrscammack said, you leave the hospital here with guidance to keep the baby in the room until 6.
We transitioned to her “room” when she started pulling up on the bassinet (she was a strong baby...) and we had no room for the full size crib in our bedroom. We were in a tiny place and could hear everything anyway must say though, we lucked out with an amazing sleeper (still is today at 3...what are the chances I get lucky a 2nd time??!!)
DD was in our room for about 12 weeks I think. I think I transitioned her before I went back to work. The transition was not smooth at first but got way better after the first week. Her room was also very close to ours.
For this one, I’m not sure what we’ll do. We have three bedrooms upstairs and one down. I think we’ll start with her in our room. If it’s disruptive to DD1 (her room is just down the hall from us and she’s an awful sleeper still) I’ll just sleep downstairs with her for awhile.
We have a really small house, our kids were only in our room for the first month (our first a little longer). I never used a monitor and could hear every sound they made. I’m sure if so could of BF I would of kept them our room longer for convenience.
I really don’t know what we are going to do with #3 yet. We are hoping to move, so we can get a 4 bedroom home (right now we have 3). Our kids are 6 (DD) & 4 (DS). We are kind of in limbo right now with what sleeping arrangements are going to look like.
We tried sleeping M in the bassinet in our room for about three days before we moved him to a crib in his own room. He was so much happier in the crib in his room, and slept much better, as did we. We'll try with the bassinet again in our room as our room is farther down the hall from M and I'm hoping to keep M sleeping well despite baby crying for a while at least, but we'll see if this little guy hates the bassinet as well.
EDIT to add: Because M also took SO LONG to feed, it ended up being nicer he was in his own room. DH could sleep while I had an iPad (blue screen filter over it) and an ear bud to listen to something while I breastfeed in the nursery + snacks. Kept me sane.
13 months 😂 there were a variety of ways that worked, rnp, then pnp, then crib. I’ll admit that it took about 3 months before I’d actually put her down to sleep in the evening. There was a long time where she’d basically do that first stretch in my arms on the couch. Around 3 months she’d do the first stretch in whatever thing was set up in our room, but then I’d just pull her into bed with us when she woke usually between 11-1.
We moved her into her room around 13mo (also super close, but I’m damn lazy in the middle of the night), but even now she usually comes into our bed at some point. And she’s 4 now. Sooooo... not necessarily advocating that unless you’ve got a king bed. 🤷🏻♀️
I have PTSD from the newborn "sleep" situation. We have tried every possible configuration, from baby in her own room, to 100% cosleeping, to using a bassinet, to me sleeping on a nursery floor. We are now a musical bed family. There is really no telling where kids or parents will wake up in the morning. You just do what you have to do to survive the night.
6 months. The new AAP recs are one year (due to the age risk of SIDS) but even pediatricians think that's a bit much. DH and I both work in the ER and thus probably have a higher than average fear of SIDS (for real...I think I spent most nights watching to make sure she was still breathing) but 6 months felt like the right time to me. DH was still nervous but we all slept better after the move.
Any recommendations from STM for items to start buying early? I started stocking up on baby wipes. Is it too soon to start buying diapers? Do you have a recommendation for how many packs of diapers to buy in each size?
One more question! Any STM with cats? How was the transition of bringing a newborn into your home? We have two cats, both of whom are accustomed to sleeping in our bed with us as night. The baby will be sharing our room with us and I do not want the cats anywhere near our room for a number of reasons during that time. We have moved their cat tree into a different room of the house to try to get them used to this arrangement but it hasn't been going well. I would love any tips/tricks from STM to help make this transition easier!
@mamanessen Personally, diapers and wipes I just bought in bulk once I found the brands we liked. Diapers, you will most likely use size 1’s at first but baby's birth weight will effect how long and if you would need newborn sizes. Our first fit in newborn, but our second did not and they leaked. Both my kids were under 8lbs as newborns.
Also with diapers and wipes you never know what brands will work for you. Some people love one and have issues with others.
I know people who sweared by Huggies, but for us they smelled horrible, caused a rash and leaked everywhere. Pampers worked for one of our kids but leaked and caused a rash for the other. I had good luck with Targets up&up for both, but again others have not. Same thing goes for wipes, some I found too rough and irritated my kid's skin.
Luckily, Target will take back *most* diapers if they sell them in their store, even if they weren't purchased there. But Pampers worked for my son awesome, but they gave DD a rash... so we had to use Honest diapers for a while. I was happy I didn't have a million boxes of diapers laying around that wouldn't work. Same for wipes... its a hard call right now. I had ended up loving the huggies natural wipes because they connected to each other (I hate wipes that don't connect) and had good texture for wiping... but you just don't know what you will like.
@mamanessen I agree with the others about not stocking up on diapers. Different diapers work for different kids. Regardless of which brand I’d make sure you don’t have a lot of newborn diapers as they may or may not fit LO. I’d have a small pack in case you need them, but not a lot in case your LO goes right to size 1. One thing I’d get but not stock up on is some aquaphor. Baby lotion irritated my LO’s skin and aquaphor resolved the skin issues. You can also use it instead of diaper cream.
@mamanessen Our cats still slept in our room. We put out the packnplay early to get them trained not to climb in and they did fine. I would suggest not giving in to temptation to feed them early when you are up nursing though! That got a little out of hand!
@msimi Our first wasn't even in our room for a month! I would wake up at every little noise and couldn't wait for her to be in her room. Our second was much longer. We bought a co-sleepee which I loved! She was going to share a room with our oldest once she switched to a crib. When she was four months old we potty trained our oldest, which was a nightmare because she suddenly stopped staying in her room at night. With all those factors, plus her being a pretty easy baby she stayed in our room until she was 7 months and out growing the co-sleeper. Not sure with this one, but it may be longer as well. We only have two bedrooms upstsirs and are thinking of eventually moving our room to the downstairs spare room. Not sure how that will go over with the kids though!
@mamanessenAgree with not stocking up on diapers. I'm not sure about all hospitals, but I know with ours, we were given so many diapers, we had plenty of time once we settled in at home to have someone go out and get some in the right size, and we started with a small, non-brand pack to see how it would fit before investing in a big bulk box purchase.
I *do* recommend having a whole bunch of spit clothes and things to make feeding, etc. easier right off the bat. for the hospital. I wish I'd thought to bring so many things - this time I'll be prepped with my boppy, lots of spit clothes, some blankets from home, some of my fave, non-hospital snacks, etc.
@mamanessen we have a cat who unfortunately isn't very kid friendly🙄 I've tried to convince my husband many times to get rid of her (even though technically she's mine). But he won't just give her to anyone. I understand, but some days.... Anyway, I'm trying to remember what we did after our oldest was born. The cat didn't always sleep in our room so I don't think it was a big issue. Now we usually put her in the basement at night. Actually she is starting to tolerate the girls more and usually just hisses when she's had enough instead of scratching. Our youngest adores the cat, but we're still teaching her to be gentle with it. Is there a room you could put the cats in overnight? Or do they just fuss or scratch to be out? I would think since there's twoo of them it might go a little better. I would just try it slowly. Like maybe put them in the room during the day a little bit until they're ok staying there overnight.
One more thing lol! I honestly loved having a stock of disposable diapers from my baby showers. It helped me decide which brands I loved (Pampers and Luvs) and which brand I hated (Huggies!). And with adjusting to being a new mom, it was nice not having to worry about going out and buying diapers for awhile. As far as size, you don't need many newborn. Some don't ever fit in them! I would think 2-3 packs would be plenty. Now I just have diapers on Amazon subscribe and save! Love, love, love not having to worry about remembering to buy diapers!
Adding to what @foodislove said about the hospital giving you diapers. Take anything and everything the hospital offers you!! Diapers, wipes, formula (even if you plan on breastfeeding, you never know if you’ll need it), pacifiers, literally everything! As we were getting ready to leave our nurse came in and told us that aside from the bed linens we could take whatever we wanted, and what we didn’t take they would have to throw away because they don’t reuse stuff once it’s already been on a patients room
My hospital just gave me the rest of the pack of diapers that was open which was only a couple. I wouldn’t depend on hospital diapers for after you get home unless you don’t mind making a stop on the way home. It probably depends on the hospital and the staff at the time.
+1 to taking home all the diapers in the room. Hospitals get all their diapers free and whatever is left on the package will be thrown away so take them! And if you use what they give you, just ask for more! They really don't mind.
Dd1 was in our room for 7 months... we were living in a small apartment but I hated the thought of her being in a different room, dd2 was in our room for over a year (yikes) we had her crib in our room, her nursery was right next to dd1’s bdrm and I was afraid her crying in the night would wake the other one up.
im sure this one will be in our room close to a year too as we now have a bdrm on the lower level and kids bedrooms are upstairs ..... thats our way of justifying
@mamanessen We had a cat when my son was born and found that he spent a lot more time hiding/sleeping away from us in those first few months. Our cat was used to sleeping with someone (either us or my mom, who lives with us) but we think that fact that we were all up and about at weird times during the night really ticked him off and he would just go sleep in another room. It wasn't until my son was about 4-5 months old and the nights settled down that the cat started to choose to sleep with people again. Disclaimer: our cat was old-ish and had a generally obliging personality.
How long have you been working with your cats to train them to sleep somewhere else? What do they do to show their displeasure at the new arrangement?
It might just be one of those things that will take some time. We've recently had to train one of our dogs to sleep in the kitchen after he's been used to sleeping with us for years. The first few weeks he would continuously bang on and scratch at the gate but we've waited him out and haven't had any issues in the past month. It took about a month to get him used to it.
@alliecourcel Honestly, it's not something we have been actively working on recently. We moved the cat tree from out of our bedroom into the living room to get them used to spending more time out there but that has really been it so far. When they are locked out of our bedroom they claw and throw their bodies against the door, haha. It is rough. Definitely something to start working on slowly!
I think it was only around 6-8 weeks of sleeping in my room with my first two? My mom got me this “fancy” (not expensive, old fashioned?) bassinet and it’s not that big. Both my boys would stretch arms while sleeping (hated being swaddled) and hit the side of the bassinet. So we gave them more room. Night feedings were exhausting.
Stocking up - agree with everyone who said don’t do diapers in excess. Have some on hand, for sure. But things change. Honestly, everything is a tad unknown and I always say leave tags on whatever you can. Newborn size clothes won’t always be worn... my kids hated swaddlemes. There’s a lot I wish I could have returned and gotten what I needed instead. But! If it’s a boy and you’ll circ, an extra box of guaze pads. Square. And is it neosporin? I think so...?
Snacks you can grab easily and quickly, especially if breastfeeding. You’ll be hungry a lot so I would stash granola bars and nuts in easy to reach places - like the pouches of my MyBreastFriend Pillow.
I second leaving the tags on as much as you can. Brands are different and some sizing can be really funky. Gerber stuff runs so small. With my first I grouped everything by size, but ended up going through everything and seeing what looked small and what looked bigger because I would pull out a 6 month onsie that was closer to a 3 month size, and he couldn’t wear it
I second @nolemomma14 baby clothes sizes are ridiculously different between brands. Don't always go on what the tag says... We missed out on lots of cute things because I thought it would be too big because it was put away waiting to come out.
@mamanessen The scratching and thumping is exhausting to listen to all night, isn't it?! Our dogs would do that in our old place if we ever shut them out of our room.
Is it possible to keep them in another room during the night? One that is, perhaps, a bit further away from your bedroom so the noise won't reach you too clearly?
Moving the cat tree is definitely a good first step. If you haven't already, perhaps keeping your bedroom door closed at all times so they stop thinking of it as part of the house. It might take some time for you and your partner to remember but the less they have to do with your room now the easier it'll be to keep them out when it really matters to you. Cats are trickier than dogs but they can totally be trained! (Not that I've ever been successful with either...but other people have!)
Re: Ask a STM+ February
You'll know how you feel when the baby is here...
This is just what's been easier and more comfortable for me since I have been able to EBF all my boys.
, 💙💙💙💙💙💙
Definitely will get a wide variety of answers ultimately do whatever is comfortable for you and baby. I personally found my anxiety was lessened having her close and it was easier for middle of the night feeding but not everyone has that experience so whatever is best for you is the right decision!
This time, the plan is that I'll be sleeping in LO's room/guest room/office until they sleep through the night. No idea when that could be.. I think with DS it was around 6-7 months.
We transitioned to her “room” when she started pulling up on the bassinet (she was a strong baby...) and we had no room for the full size crib in our bedroom. We were in a tiny place and could hear everything anyway
For this one, I’m not sure what we’ll do. We have three bedrooms upstairs and one down. I think we’ll start with her in our room. If it’s disruptive to DD1 (her room is just down the hall from us and she’s an awful sleeper still) I’ll just sleep downstairs with her for awhile.
I really don’t know what we are going to do with #3 yet. We are hoping to move, so we can get a 4 bedroom home (right now we have 3). Our kids are 6 (DD) & 4 (DS). We are kind of in limbo right now with what sleeping arrangements are going to look like.
EDIT to add: Because M also took SO LONG to feed, it ended up being nicer he was in his own room. DH could sleep while I had an iPad (blue screen filter over it) and an ear bud to listen to something while I breastfeed in the nursery + snacks. Kept me sane.
there were a variety of ways that worked, rnp, then pnp, then crib. I’ll admit that it took about 3 months before I’d actually put her down to sleep in the evening. There was a long time where she’d basically do that first stretch in my arms on the couch. Around 3 months she’d do the first stretch in whatever thing was set up in our room, but then I’d just pull her into bed with us when she woke usually between 11-1.
We moved her into her room around 13mo (also super close, but I’m damn lazy in the middle of the night), but even now she usually comes into our bed at some point. And she’s 4 now. Sooooo... not necessarily advocating that unless you’ve got a king bed. 🤷🏻♀️
Also with diapers and wipes you never know what brands will work for you. Some people love one and have issues with others.
I know people who sweared by Huggies, but for us they smelled horrible, caused a rash and leaked everywhere. Pampers worked for one of our kids but leaked and caused a rash for the other. I had good luck with Targets up&up for both, but again others have not. Same thing goes for wipes, some I found too rough and irritated my kid's skin.
If you want to stock up, I suggest buying gift cards for the amount.
, 💙💙💙💙💙💙
That is a fantastic tip @nopegoat.
I *do* recommend having a whole bunch of spit clothes and things to make feeding, etc. easier right off the bat. for the hospital. I wish I'd thought to bring so many things - this time I'll be prepped with my boppy, lots of spit clothes, some blankets from home, some of my fave, non-hospital snacks, etc.
Anyway, I'm trying to remember what we did after our oldest was born. The cat didn't always sleep in our room so I don't think it was a big issue. Now we usually put her in the basement at night. Actually she is starting to tolerate the girls more and usually just hisses when she's had enough instead of scratching. Our youngest adores the cat, but we're still teaching her to be gentle with it. Is there a room you could put the cats in overnight? Or do they just fuss or scratch to be out? I would think since there's twoo of them it might go a little better. I would just try it slowly. Like maybe put them in the room during the day a little bit until they're ok staying there overnight.
im sure this one will be in our room close to a year too as we now have a bdrm on the lower level and kids bedrooms are upstairs .....
thats our way of justifying
Stocking up - agree with everyone who said don’t do diapers in excess. Have some on hand, for sure. But things change. Honestly, everything is a tad unknown and I always say leave tags on whatever you can. Newborn size clothes won’t always be worn... my kids hated swaddlemes. There’s a lot I wish I could have returned and gotten what I needed instead. But! If it’s a boy and you’ll circ, an extra box of guaze pads. Square. And is it neosporin? I think so...?
Snacks you can grab easily and quickly, especially if breastfeeding. You’ll be hungry a lot so I would stash granola bars and nuts in easy to reach places - like the pouches of my MyBreastFriend Pillow.
Hospital bag: What do you wish you would have brought, and what was on the list that you absolutely didnt need?
Registry: What do you wish you would have registered for, and what was on the list that you found totally unnecessary?