The Great Question Thread - Page 15 — The Bump
October 2019 Moms

The Great Question Thread

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Re: The Great Question Thread

  • For TTM+ mamas, was breastfeeding "easier" with your second? DS wasn't a great latcher (due to inverted/flat nips) so I ended up pumping exclusively until he was 20 months. I will definitely be pumping again but I just wonder if supply will come quicker after birth (since my body has been through it before).

    Also, has anyone used breast shields to help with the nip issue? Any other tips/tricks? I had Kaiser with my DS and while I definitely utilized the nurses/lactation consultant while I was in the hospital and after birth, I feel like I could have been supported a bit more. 
    TTC #1: September 2013, BFP 01/01/14, DS 09/14
    TTC #2: October 2018, BFP 02/02/19, EDD 10/14/19



    andromedacorrine2
  • @stephanie123456 100% easier in my opinion. With my first I felt like a total fish out of water. I had a pretty traumatic birth and crappy LCs that told me I had flat nipples and immediately told me to use a shield. I knew nothing about bfing and just trusted they knew what they were talking about. That led to frustrations, feeling so dependent on it and not producing enough milk. Soooo many tears (from both of us!) and sadly we did not last long. 

    Baby 2, so much different. I was more relaxed and my LCs were amazing. First thing they said was, “you do not have flat nipples at all”, baby latched right away and the right positioning was key for us. We successfully nursed without any issues for a year. I also had an at home LC in our area all lined up to call when I got home from the hospital if needed but didn’t end up needing the help. My suggestion would be to find a good LC in your area before you give birth to hAve that resource readily available. 
  • @jal88144 that's good to know. I had such issues with breastfeeding with my first, I'm dreading it!!  Thanks for your encouraging experience. Hoping it goes better this time. I'm also worried my supply will dwindle when I go back to work. I'll be starting a new job and working in the OR with infrequent or sporadic breaks.  Going to BF as long as I can but don't have high hopes to make it longer than a few months this time.
    jal88144
  • @alinic916 I think stress plays so much into it. I really went into it with the attitude of, meh if it works it works but if not I’m not going to put myself and baby through what we did last time. I think stress can do a number on your supply! Personally I feel it’s best to just get through one day at a day and not put any more added stress on yourself. You’re doing the best you can do with the situation you’re in in! Good luck!! 
  • edited April 18
    For TTM+ mamas, was breastfeeding "easier" with your second? DS wasn't a great latcher (due to inverted/flat nips) so I ended up pumping exclusively until he was 20 months. I will definitely be pumping again but I just wonder if supply will come quicker after birth (since my body has been through it before).

    Also, has anyone used breast shields to help with the nip issue? Any other tips/tricks? I had Kaiser with my DS and while I definitely utilized the nurses/lactation consultant while I was in the hospital and after birth, I feel like I could have been supported a bit more. 
    I worked through so many issues with my first (inverted nipples, tongue/lip tie, food allergies) and she ended up nursing for 21 months. With my second I went through the same hell with less stress because I knew I could do it and I knew she wasn’t going to die. I did develop PPA that manifested like PTSD because the same issues started to arise and I got bad advice from a pediatrician that delayed me getting good help.

    i used a nipple shield with great success with both kids. It allowed us to have a nursing relationship when both of our anatomies had issues getting in the way.  (The grammar of this sentence is horrendous but I’m really tired so I’m not going to think any harder)

    Have a support plan in place! I brought a new nipple shield to the hospital with my second and asked them to get me one right away (despite protests) because I couldn’t get her to latch on my right side. As long as you have a support plan and can get help weaning off the shield there is no harm in it. 
    BabyFetus TickerBabyFruit Ticker

    meagan-t
  • dogmom5dogmom5
    Sixth Anniversary 25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper
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    @stephanie123456 breastfeeding was a million times easier for me the second time around.  I breastfed my first until 17 months but it was a new experience for me that first time so I had issues with clogs, over supply, mastitis.  The second babe I learned and knew what I was doing a little more so things were better.  I took lecithin every day to prevent clogs, and I wasn’t as obsessed with being too worried about not having enough supply.  Also, my nipples didn’t hurt as bad since I had breastfed the other babe for so long 
    alinic916
  • @dogmom5 I had those same issues too. I’ll have to look into lecithin this time. Did you still have oversupply the second time around? It was nice to not worry whether I had enough milk but it caused so many other problems for me. 
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • @dogmom5 I had those same issues too. I’ll have to look into lecithin this time. Did you still have oversupply the second time around? It was nice to not worry whether I had enough milk but it caused so many other problems for me. 
    @greenbean-2, totally clueless FTM here. Can you please elaborate on what kinds of issues oversupply caused you?
  • @stephanie123456 As others have said, the second time was so much easier. With my first she was several months old before her lip and tongue ties were diagnosed. My supply had taken a huge hit, and my nipples looked like the grand canyon. My second we got the ties revised when he was a few days old and never had any issues. I nursed both just over a year. 
  • @galentine over supply can lead to blocked ducts and therefore mastitis (bad infection with flu like symptoms). That doesn't include just the physical uncomfortable and painful feeling of being full all.the.time. 
    galentineandromedacorrine2
  • dogmom5dogmom5
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    @greenbean-2 I was more calm and didn’t freak out that my baby wouldn’t have enough the second time around so I knew I didn’t have to pump as much and I still had a decent freezer stash. I am just a dairy cow I guess but that’s ok 😂 the lecithin helped me greatly with not getting as many clogs. Also just knowing a good latch vs a bad latch the second time around, if any sores appeared around my nipples to watch for infection since the first time I got mastitis, it landed me in the hospital for a week—I was bit by my 8 month old and I didn’t realize the open sore got infected really bad until it was too late and I had mastitis.....I’m hoping my third time around breastfeeding goes smoothly also now! 
    andromedacorrine2greenbean-2
  • @andromedacorrine2 I may end up messaging you closer to October. I’m a STM but my first ended up being dehydrated at 3 days old so I already have anxiety about BFing this one
    andromedacorrine2
  • @andromedacorrine2 I may end up messaging you closer to October. I’m a STM but my first ended up being dehydrated at 3 days old so I already have anxiety about BFing this one
    I’m a BIG believer in pumping a bit at the hospital and syringe feeding in between nursing sessions. The hospital will provide everything you need and you can get extra calories into baby while they sleep. I had SO MANY issues and believe this was a saving grace for both my babies. 
    BabyFetus TickerBabyFruit Ticker

    melanier26andromedacorrine2
  • How long should I expect a daycare tour to last? I am planning to take a day off work and just tour a bunch at once. Just wondering how far apart to schedule the tours.
  • cmbt2cmbt2
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    galentine said:
    How long should I expect a daycare tour to last? I am planning to take a day off work and just tour a bunch at once. Just wondering how far apart to schedule the tours.
    Depending on the site, 30-40 minutes? There’s really not too much to see; I feel it’s more of a chance for you to observe different rooms and ask about policies/procedures
    BFP #1 3/07, EDD 11/12/07, MMC 5/7/07
    ~~~  ~~~  ~~~
    BFP #2 5/4/14, EDD 1/15/15, DS1 1/19/15
    BFP #3 8/19/16, EDD 4/30/17, DS2 4/25/17
    BFP #4 12/22/18, EDD 9/6/19 - CP 12/29/18
    BFP #5 1/18/19, EDD 10/3/19, It’s a Girl!
    ~~~  ~~~  ~~~
    High Risk Dx (6/14):  Homozygous MTHFR C677T, protein C & S deficiencies
    emily1052
  • Piggybacking on the daycare topic, did your SO go with you to tour centers or did you go by yourself?  
  • cmbt2cmbt2
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    emily1052 said:
    Piggybacking on the daycare topic, did your SO go with you to tour centers or did you go by yourself?  
    DH went by himself. I met the daycare staff when I dropped off his enrollment papers. I gave him a list of questions to ask
    BFP #1 3/07, EDD 11/12/07, MMC 5/7/07
    ~~~  ~~~  ~~~
    BFP #2 5/4/14, EDD 1/15/15, DS1 1/19/15
    BFP #3 8/19/16, EDD 4/30/17, DS2 4/25/17
    BFP #4 12/22/18, EDD 9/6/19 - CP 12/29/18
    BFP #5 1/18/19, EDD 10/3/19, It’s a Girl!
    ~~~  ~~~  ~~~
    High Risk Dx (6/14):  Homozygous MTHFR C677T, protein C & S deficiencies
    emily1052
  •  Big question on my mind these days as a FTM: how/when do we pick a pediatrician?
    emily1052galentine
  • Great question @meagan-t!  Hope you don’t mind me piggybacking on this one too....  Did you meet with pediatricians before you selected one?  What kind of question did you ask? 
    meagan-tandromedacorrine2
  • emily1052 said:
    Piggybacking on the daycare topic, did your SO go with you to tour centers or did you go by yourself?  
    @emily1052, it's probably up to the individual couple what they are comfortable with. For us, we both strongly feel the need to be there.
    emily1052
  • cmbt2cmbt2
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    meagan-t said:
     Big question on my mind these days as a FTM: how/when do we pick a pediatrician?
    Start with what your views are on feeding, vaccines, big things like that. For us, since we go straight to formula, it was important that we found a pediatrician that was accepting of that and would support the decision and that would help us diagnose feeding issues. We also wanted a pediatrician that would only take vaccinated patients. That and bedside manner were our things.

    For DS1, we met with the pediatrician prior to birth after looking up which ones were in the practice to see who was a good fit. Once we moved and
    switched practices, the first time I met their current pedi was at DS1’s 1 year check up. We liked him so we stuck with him. We see whomever is available for sick visits. Only once in 4+ years have I said to not give us a particular provider, and in this case, it was a nurse who was particular rough when giving shots
    BFP #1 3/07, EDD 11/12/07, MMC 5/7/07
    ~~~  ~~~  ~~~
    BFP #2 5/4/14, EDD 1/15/15, DS1 1/19/15
    BFP #3 8/19/16, EDD 4/30/17, DS2 4/25/17
    BFP #4 12/22/18, EDD 9/6/19 - CP 12/29/18
    BFP #5 1/18/19, EDD 10/3/19, It’s a Girl!
    ~~~  ~~~  ~~~
    High Risk Dx (6/14):  Homozygous MTHFR C677T, protein C & S deficiencies
    emily1052andromedacorrine2
  • cmbt2cmbt2
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    I want to say this about daycares- keep in mind that while you may think it’s a good fit during the tour, you may grow to find it is not a good fit after your kid is there, and that’s okay! 
    BFP #1 3/07, EDD 11/12/07, MMC 5/7/07
    ~~~  ~~~  ~~~
    BFP #2 5/4/14, EDD 1/15/15, DS1 1/19/15
    BFP #3 8/19/16, EDD 4/30/17, DS2 4/25/17
    BFP #4 12/22/18, EDD 9/6/19 - CP 12/29/18
    BFP #5 1/18/19, EDD 10/3/19, It’s a Girl!
    ~~~  ~~~  ~~~
    High Risk Dx (6/14):  Homozygous MTHFR C677T, protein C & S deficiencies
    emily1052PenelopeSnuz77SLou24
  • galentine said:
    emily1052 said:
    Piggybacking on the daycare topic, did your SO go with you to tour centers or did you go by yourself?  
    @emily1052, it's probably up to the individual couple what they are comfortable with. For us, we both strongly feel the need to be there.
    I’d like DH to be there but our schedules might make it difficult.  His response was that he trusts my judgment, which is great but i’d Like his input.  
    galentine
  • meagan-t said:
     Big question on my mind these days as a FTM: how/when do we pick a pediatrician?
    I asked several of my mom friends who they went to. Quite a few of them went to the same Dr. so we called their office to see if they were taking new patients and what we needed to do when baby was born. We didn’t feel the need for an interview since I had several trusted recommendations for the same practitioner and we’ve been very happy with her. We didn’t need to decide very far in advance. Maybe a couple months ahead. Lining up daycare is way harder.
    *TW in Spoiler*BabyFetus Ticker

    Me 39 - DH 41

    Married 8/26/07

    TTGP #1 Jan '15 - 

         BFP 9/11/15 - DS born 5/31/16

    TTGP #2 July '17 -

         CP July '17

         Blighted Ovum MC Dec '17

         CP June '18

         BFP 1/30/19 - EDD 10/13/19

    longhairdntcare
  • @meagan-t We asked my OB and friends with kids for recommendations. The practice we ended up choosing had an open house where you could meet one of the doctors and ask questions.  We went when I was 7 or 8 months pregnant.  We liked their views on breastfeeding and vaccines and we loved that they have weekend hours and an afterhours line (which we have used many many times). All we had to do to sign up with them was give their name at the hospital when I delivered, and one of the peds showed up to do the newborn exam. 

    Our practice has several doctors and NPs. We met most of them over the first few months between all the well visits and random sick visits. We like most of them but luckily we love the one who works on Saturdays and that’s when we schedule our well visits, for convenience. So now we consider her our main pediatrician. She is very patient when we have a million questions at each visit and she’s very sweet with DD. She also has toddlers of her own and gets how hard parenting is, so has a good dose of reality in her recommendations for us. 
    BabyFruit Ticker
    meagan-t
  • cmbt2cmbt2
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    For those FTMs looking for local recs, ask your provider or hospital who has nursery privileges or who they recommend and start there for an idea. That’s what we did for DS1. 

    Our current pedi doesn’t have privileges at the center I go to (he has them at the main hospital), so we just see whomever is on call while there and then call to schedule a visit the day after discharge to establish the relationship. They’re really good at getting newborns seen right away.

    No matter what you do, bring baby’s discharge papers with you to the first appointment- they’ll do a weight check and compare to birth and discharge weight. In both cases for us, records hadn’t been sent over in time for the first appointment (1-2 days post discharge).
    BFP #1 3/07, EDD 11/12/07, MMC 5/7/07
    ~~~  ~~~  ~~~
    BFP #2 5/4/14, EDD 1/15/15, DS1 1/19/15
    BFP #3 8/19/16, EDD 4/30/17, DS2 4/25/17
    BFP #4 12/22/18, EDD 9/6/19 - CP 12/29/18
    BFP #5 1/18/19, EDD 10/3/19, It’s a Girl!
    ~~~  ~~~  ~~~
    High Risk Dx (6/14):  Homozygous MTHFR C677T, protein C & S deficiencies
    emily1052meagan-t
  • galentine said:
    How long should I expect a daycare tour to last? I am planning to take a day off work and just tour a bunch at once. Just wondering how far apart to schedule the tours.

    I would say anywhere from 30 min to an hour. It's really up to how many questions you ask and how long you want to stay and observe in each room. 

    emily1052 said:
    Piggybacking on the daycare topic, did your SO go with you to tour centers or did you go by yourself?  

    DH absolutely came with me. I think having two sets of eyes/ears and two people to ask questions helps to make sure you don't miss anything. 

    meagan-t said:
     Big question on my mind these days as a FTM: how/when do we pick a pediatrician?

    At one of my appointments, maybe like 25ish weeks, my OB gave me a list of peds she recommended. One of them was the person she took her own kids to, so that was a no-brainer for us. We didn't meet with her or anything ahead of time. I guess we kind of got lucky that all her views fit with ours (vacc obvi, pro BF but not in an annoying over-the-top way, no rice cereal, solids at 6 mo, BLW vs purees, etc). Keep in mind you aren't tied down. So if you end up not liking the person you initially pick, you can definitely change! But I think the things @cmbt2 mentions as questions/topics to discuss are a great starting point if you do want to meet them ahead of time. And if you feel super strongly about something that might not be considered 'the norm' for most peds, then it's probably even more important to have those conversations ahead of time. 
    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker
    galentinemeagan-temily1052PenelopeSnuz77
  • About choosing a pediatrician:  I also went with recommendations from other parents and my OB. My advice is to consider whether you want a large or small practice. Some offices only have one or two doctors. You get to know them well and establish a relationship. I personally went with a larger practice. There are 7 doctors. When I schedule yearly check-ups, it’s easy to request a specific doctor. Another plus is that they are usually able to get us in quickly when the boys are sick. Only once have I waited until the following day to be seen. Both have their advantages, but it’s something you may want to discuss ahead of time. 
  • Also also to give my two cents on picking a pediatrician, if you’re lucky enough to have nurse friends ask them. We went with our pediatrician because a couple nurses I worked with had worked there and talked about how great they were to patients and staff. Even if you’re not that lucky pay attention to how they treat their staff.
    Me: 35 DH: 47

    HX
    DSS: 20
    DSD: 17
    DS: 4(Nov'14)
    MMC:8/17
    MMC: 1/18
    BFP: 2/7/19 EDD:10/16/19

    Tickers
    BabyGaga
    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker


    emily1052jenferlee82elle-0409
  • Sometimes I feel movement in my uterus area and wonder if it’s the baby moving, but then it almost feels like a pulse? Is there a pulse in that area? I’m a STM so I feel silly not knowing. It’s probably my PGAL trying to come up with all the possible things I could be feeling instead of it being the baby moving
  • Sometimes I feel movement in my uterus area and wonder if it’s the baby moving, but then it almost feels like a pulse? Is there a pulse in that area? I’m a STM so I feel silly not knowing. It’s probably my PGAL trying to come up with all the possible things I could be feeling instead of it being the baby moving
    Yes, I feel the same “pulse” there.  It’s very obvious that it’s my own heartbeat though when I use the Doppler (matches the pulsing rhythm, very loud and slow).  I am a TTM and I’m still not positive I have felt this one move yet, but have had some maybes.  I remember distinctly figuring out some things I had regularly been feeling were movements last time around 15 weeks.
  • Yes, there are abdominal blood vessels that you can feel a lot more during pregnancy. Mine stayed shifted even after DS was born, and I could still feel it any time I was lying on my back. Strangely, I can't right now, but then everything is rearranging in there again.
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • With breastfeeding, I don't mind any questions!!💕 With pediatricians, my DS went to a local one for his first year and then we all switched to a family Dr when I discovered I was pregnant with DD. Now we all have the same Dr and I trust her wayyyy more than the pediatrician we had. Our ped was super nice and a great doctor but I feel our family doctor has just helped me much more, and we can all be seen together by someone that's known my kids since they were born too.




    emily1052
  • Anyone get their hair colored while pregnant? Or get the ok from your OB? I didn't even think to ask until someone told me not to. But I'm pretty sure it's safe. Thoughts?
  • alinic916 said:
    Anyone get their hair colored while pregnant? Or get the ok from your OB? I didn't even think to ask until someone told me not to. But I'm pretty sure it's safe. Thoughts?
    My hairdresser told me in the past as long as it's well ventilated and you don't go to the roots I believe she told me it was alright!




    alinic916
  • My hairdresser said that what they use these days is very safe for pregnancy.  I don’t bleach my hair though... just color the grays!
    alinic916andromedacorrine2
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