@lappymom2019 I am in the middle of scheduling all that! The longer classes are tough to work around our schedules because we work nowhere near where we live and our hospital is closer to home.
@lappymom2019 MH doesn’t want to take the classes. He said “we’ll learn as we go”. Our class would be one Saturday for 8 hours and be three classes in one. Ugh!
@mrskoz428 this is usually where I employ the "no uterus, no opinion" policy. If you would feel more comfortable taking more classes, then I would definitely talk more about it with him. His job is easy: get you to the hospital, hold your hand, maybe a leg, sleep if you get the epidural lol. But if you want more preparation for what you're going to experience, I think it's important.
@eatinwatermelonseeds agreed. I’m wanting a water birth and if we are approved, we have to take a water birth class. It’s not an option. I’ll probably talk to him again about it. With this being my first, I have no idea where to even start with some of this stuff!
@mrskoz428 I agree with @eatinwatermelonseeds that he doesn't have an opinion in this case. I simply told my husband what we were taking. It wasn't open for discussion. 🤣
@lovelybabybumpz - I swear by Miss Jessie's Pillow Soft Curls. It smells amazing and it gives beautiful definition to my curls without turning them into ramen noodles. It's a styling cream you apply to your hair after washing. Just scrunch it in and you're done!
As a curly girl, I always laugh when I go to the salon because the stylists take such great pains to really scrunch my hair to get the curl out. My curls are unstoppable. You don't have to do a thing to get them to stay in place. Even after a chemical straightening they somehow come right back days later.
So we finally announced on FB yesterday (after our anatomy scan turned out well). I had a friend PM me and she told me she was about to comment on one of my pictures that I look good after losing so much weight and she's shocked I'm having twins. I've actually had a few weight loss comments since I got pregnant. My weight has remained stable since I got pregnant despite my enormous bump so I guess my body is taking away chub as I add babies, placentas, and fluids. I'll take it
@missy052819 I had gotten pretty lax about just buying whatever (non CG compliant) and my hair was suffering. But I didn't want to spend a bunch of money, so I looked for best drugstore products. I ended up buying Suave daily clarifying shampoo. A big bottle for $2. Then I did a deep condition for 30 minutes with 1 tbsp olive oil, 1 tbsp honey, and a scoop of Suave Naturals coconut conditioner (also $2). My hair feels so soft this morning.
@sleepy33 I am too cheap for deva products But I know they work great. I'm all about the deva cut too!
@wishiwaspreggo I've read so many good things about miss jessie's products. But I've been using a curl cream that was weighing down my hair and didn't provide enough hold, so I'm on a break from cream, although Jessie's is CG approved, so I'm sure it's better than what I was using. I was surprised that the LA looks blue gel ($4, because again cheap) is CG approved! I used to use it all the time and it worked great, but stopped because I thought it was bad for my hair.
@lovelybabybumpz - I swear I don't work for them or anything but honestly, their cream is amazing. It doesn't add weight like other lotions do. I think one trick to using styling cream is to towel-dry your hair, flip your hair upside down to run your fingers through it first, and apply the cream right after. If you go to their website they sell sample sizes for $2:
I've tried *everything* and this is by far my favorite product. I guess it depends on your curl type though... are you wavy or do you have a tighter curl? Mine are a mix of s-shaped and spiral so I'm in the middle of the spectrum.
@lovelybabybumpz I had the V05 strawberry conditioner for co-washing. I have the LA looks yellow gel as well. I wanted to make gel out of flax seed butttttt seems like too much work for me. Have you seen that before?
@mrskoz428@bumbly_b@DuchessOfCambridge I'm so sorry for the tough times you are all dealing with. I have no triggers aside from simply HAVING a child and I get very emotional and cry depending on my mood/hormones when I hear about stories like these so I can only imagine how you all are feeling in your situations but we're here for you and hopefully the counselors/therapy/family around you are helping to get you through.
@mrskoz428 We took ALL of the classes (coming home with baby, childbirth which was just a basic class 2 hours for 4 weeks, infant CPR, pain management with an anestesiologist, car seat safety with a police officer, etc.). I will admit I like to read pregnancy books, parenting books, etc. so I am *that* type of person anyways, but I can't imagine not taking a childbirth class of some kind. Ours also covered various labor positions, tools to help get through labor at various stages (some before you even get to the hospital), what to expect in terms of procedures at the hospital (baby will be in the room with you, various shots, the hearing test, the social security card/birth certificate process, breastfeeding support availability, etc. etc. etc.), as well as practicing breastfeeding holds, the right way to get a good latch, etc. You could schedule a hospital tour separately but this was also included in ours. This all encompassing class might be different than what yours offers but it was SO insanely valuable. If you are planning to do hypnobirthing I'm also assuming you're going med free and if you aren't hiring a doula and your husband is your support person, I don't think it'd be a good idea not to do it.
My hair is all over the place (curly in the top layer, then wavy, and almost straight in the underneath layer) but I've finally gotten it back to the length it was when pregnant with DD and I can twist it into a low bun, let it dry, and it comes out in soft waves. I should do more with my hair but I've kind of stopped caring so much #momlife
Oh yes, regarding classes, everyone including grandmas and caretakers should take or refresh themselves on infant CPR! So important. We had to use it, and I just happened to have infant CPR tacked on to my regular class days before.
@mrskoz428 sorry to hear about your student and having to deal with it all. I missed this thread yesterday. Thinking of you
@DuchessOfCambridge glad your dr reassured you it is different medical history, I could imagine it was very hard anyway
@lappymom2019 I also signed up yesterday for classes. I am going to do the regular birthing classes in Feb at the hospital and in March I start hypnobirthing...4 hrs every Sunday....not sure if my husband will want to attend all but we will see. They need 3 people to register so I hope they won’t cancel my class.
being a FTM, I feel like I am learning something new everyday and a bit overwhelmed with knowing there is a lot I don’t know. This weekend I learned that apparently for daycare you need to sign up on the wait lists as soon as you find out you are pregnant, and many friends here in Denver told us how many places rejected them!!! This week I am making appointments in as many as I can find to get to their wait lists.
So speaking of stranger danger and social media security... I brought this up when our BMB first opened, but I just wanted to propose it again. I think we should move to a private group off of the public BMB in order to vet people before moving to Facebook. I don't want to expose myself and my network to crazies who lurk the public forums. We used the private Bump group with my last BMB and vetting people there first worked really well.
@dfirstimer Our daycare situation here in San Diego is similar - we've been on the waitlist for a place not even open yet. It's absurd.
Someone on here recommended the podcast The Dream (about MLMs) - and it was so good (and also maddening)! I think podcasts are my new thing now, I have been so sick of the same music over and over. Since then, I've listened to Believed (SO hard to listen to, about Larry Nassar) and Dirty John (holy moly...). Just started another by Wondery, called Hollywood & Crime.
DD born PPROM preemie at 36 weeks on 10/1/17 after over a year TI, then 3 failed IUIs, and finally a successful IVF FET.
Due with #2 5/2/19 after HIO once in my FW, because apparently that's how life works now. Team Blue!
@dfirstimer I have just started researching daycares too. I feel so overwhelmed about what I should be looking for. I have been lucky so far that none of the daycares I have called had wait lists for when I was looking to enroll so I think I am still far enough out. I have a tour tomorrow with one and I don't even know what to ask!
@eatinwatermelonseeds my old BMB originally moved to a private group because the ban hammer was flying and we wanted to get away from the BGs. A core group of 100% recognizable regulars were let into the group first. A pinned thread used for join request approval was created. The requester's name was posted and they had to get a certain amount of lovetits to be approved to join the private BMB. Admins would break the bad news to the requester if they were not approved. It sounds like a popularity contest, but I swear it didn't work like that. Basically lovetit if you recognize this person and believe they're an actual pregnant woman who genuinely wants to be part of this community for the long haul. Once we kind of had everyone in the private group, we posted a tribute thread where people had to take a picture with a random object (like a spoon) and holding up a piece of paper with their username and the day's date to prove they were who they said. Private group material and posts are not searchable on the public internet, so it is safe to do this. The thread can also be deleted if done in a certain amount of time. People had a week (or whatever) to prove themselves in the tribute thread, and were bumped out of the group if they didn't comply. Once we were comfortable with the core private group, we moved to a secret group on FB. We still had well over 100 members when we moved to FB even after using this process.
That was a novel, sorry! But that's the basic process we used. We did end up kicking a couple of people out of the private group (for sketchiness) before the move to FB, so it was definitely worth doing.
@lappymom2019 what kind of education do they require of their providers? Do they have a protocol in place if baby won't stop crying? Do they allow you to bring in your own breast milk? Do they allow you to cloth diaper (if you want to)? Do they follow a schedule or feed on demand?
Tw: It was my cousins (raised like sisters) significant other and father of her 2 children. He was 29 and had misdiagnosed chest pains last month. Leading to a massive heart attack. I dont even know how to help her or what to say. Shes had such a hard road in life so this just feels so unfair.
On a lighter note thanks to whoever mentioned the show Tyding Up....I've been watching and cleaning for days lol.
@eatinwatermelonseeds yay! Also we only talked about the private group in the randoms because you know... locals only... 😆 I’m happy to be a mod to help things get set up, but obviously I don’t have that much time to be online, so I may not be the best choice.
@poshspice That’s an interesting idea. I’m not active on FB at all so there’s not much for people to see, but for people who use it heavily I can definitely understand wanting to protect yourself and the info you share there.
The Grandma Wars have begun over here. I’m an only child and my husbands sister doesn’t want children so this is the first and potentially only (fertility problems) grandchild for both sides. My MIL has decided she wants to buy our entire nursery but realistically isn’t in a financial place to do so. She confided in my Mom recently money is pretty tight for them right now. My parents are in a place where it would be easy to make large purchases and my mom also wants to buy the entire nursery and let my MIL buy the car seat. I’m currently getting rapid fire texts about it from my Mom wanting to order everything today. While it’s really nice that our families want to help and the offers are so generous I don’t know how to navigate it without hurting anyone’s feelings. I know they’re both just so excited and want to help.
@lappymom2019 additional questions: what is the security protocol and who can pick up the kid, vaccine requirements (do they allow kids without all vaccines), ratio of children to teachers/carers, flexibility and hours of operation
@poshspice thanks for all the context. Sounds reasonable
@mrskoz428 I'd definitely overrule your H on that. The classes were eyeopening for mine. He didn't know anything about babies before (I knew how to change a diaper and could babysit a baby but not too much beyond that), and the breastfeeding class in particular left a lasting impression. After it was over he looked at me and said "breastfeeding sounds really really hard". The class helped dads understand what their role in breastfeeding was and how best to support mom and H was AMAZING about it. He'd get me anything I needed while nursing and if I pumped, he'd wash the parts. Your H may not think he needs it and he can learn as he goes and while he probably could, he'll miss out on a wealth of information that will help him help you.
@bumbly_b same about the Tidying Up. I'm doing it slowly so I don't get overwhelmed. I'm pretty organized to begin with but am using some of her suggestions on how to organize BETTER and it's been amazing. I've only done one of my dresser drawers but hoping to do the rest by the end of this week and go through all my pants and sweaters. It's hard getting rid of stuff when pregnant because what if it fits later! So I'm giving myself grace and getting rid of things I didn't really even like before I got pregnant with DS or things that no longer fit my style.
@poshspice I would like that a lot, actually. I'm not comfortable posting photos here because it's so public but wouldn't mind doing that in a private group. I'm not terribly worried about moving to FB but I've heard weird things can happen so I'm cool with the vetting process as well.
Thank you all for your kind words. I'm looking forward to the day when I don't get so triggered about the birth stuff, like not full on sobbing because I see clothes DS wore in the NICU. I think I'll always be sad but it will be nice to not be devastated. As for the other stuff, I think I'll always worry about him but I'm so glad his doctor wrote me a long email explaining everything to ease my fears. I've been busy today! MIL is coming to visit tonight and staying until Sunday so I cleaned DS's bath/the guest bath, the kitchen, and our bathroom. I wanted to dust everything but honestly, I'm way too tired to do our full home today. Anything that was actually dirty is clean now. I also folded and put away all the laundry we did yesterday and MIL now has clean sheets haha. The rest of my afternoon is more computery stuff - I need to find an eye doctor for me, dentists for both DS and me, need to talk to my OBs office about sending me vax proof stuff, and need to submit a form for another therapist DS may be seeing (he's at least getting evaluated). I'm pooped! H is coming home after work to give me a small break to shower alone (without DS in the bathroom throwing things into the shower LOL) and then he'll go get his mom from the airport. It will........be a time having her here.
@jkduer I barely was using FB before my old BMb moved over and now I’m there every day lol. But also you have things like who you’re married to, where you live, your friends list etc, that people can access once we move to FB. Things people set up ages ago and don’t even think about.
@DuchessOfCambridge I haven’t been posting any u/s pics and I did one HDBD without my face before deciding I wasn’t really comfortable doing that, but I’ll play more in a private group, too.
@DuchessOfCambridge it takes a while, but soon it won't be so fresh. When DS was sick, it caused a lot of issues for me mentally. For the next 2 years I couldn't see "on this day" posts without crying, couldn't look through the baby box I'd packed his first st Patrick's day socks in (which he wore in PICU). I couldn't even really talk about what happened. Every time he got a cold, I had a panic attack. I was sure it was happening again, every time. Even now, he's 5, and in May he was hospitalized for respiratory distress. I lost my shit. I was certain we were doing it all over again.. Luckily they take it much more seriously now and it's not the same scenario. It never will be, if I have any say. It's hard to let these things go, but one day it won't be so fresh. I don't get panic attacks when he catches a cold. I just get him some Albuterol and we work our way through it. I can watch the video my birth group made me now (though not without tears) and look through the pictures they sent. It's not gone, but it's easier. ♥️ You'll get there, momma. It just takes time.
Also, I prefer the private thing for now. I feel like I will have an opportunity to prove who I am before we go to Facebook and I'm on my shady "are you a real person" Facebook 😂 I will probably put a picture there and change the name, but I won't be getting any more friends or actually posting to it lol
I don't think I've ever enjoyed babysitting this much. I'm watching my best friend's youngest and this kid is usually kind of a monster when he's with the older 3 (I'm including mine in there), but he's seriously been the sweetest kid today. He played on the leappad, ate lunch, watched some paw patrol, we went for a walk because he was getting a little crazy, and now we're chilling on the couch cuddled in blankets and drinking hot chocolate. He's been listening so well.
This is actually very eye opening for me as a soon to be mom of 2. I'm used to one on one time all the time with DS1 so I feel like I know him well. And I thought I knew her kids well, but each of them is so different individually than they are as a group. It's really stressing the importance of getting one on one time with my kids.
@poshspice I haven't done a private group before, but I'd be open to it. Wondering if anyone has any objections and interested in what those would be. Also, we have an intern who just started yesterday that I'm getting ramped up over the next month plus we're going on our babymoon later this month so I don't know that I'd make a good admin (sorry to play "not it").
TOTALLY RANDOM QUESTION: I just saw a article posted in The Bump Facebook page about positive pregnancy tests and what people do with them. So my question: what did you do with your positive tests? I have three of the four (one was a digital and the YES+ went away after about a month) in my bathroom drawer. I don’t feel like I can throw them away!
Re: Randoms Week of 1/6/19 - 1/12/19
@sleepy33 I am too cheap for deva products
@wishiwaspreggo I've read so many good things about miss jessie's products. But I've been using a curl cream that was weighing down my hair and didn't provide enough hold, so I'm on a break from cream, although Jessie's is CG approved, so I'm sure it's better than what I was using. I was surprised that the LA looks blue gel ($4, because again cheap) is CG approved! I used to use it all the time and it worked great, but stopped because I thought it was bad for my hair.
BFP: 8/20/2018 - EDD 5/4/2019
@mrskoz428 We took ALL of the classes (coming home with baby, childbirth which was just a basic class 2 hours for 4 weeks, infant CPR, pain management with an anestesiologist, car seat safety with a police officer, etc.). I will admit I like to read pregnancy books, parenting books, etc. so I am *that* type of person anyways, but I can't imagine not taking a childbirth class of some kind. Ours also covered various labor positions, tools to help get through labor at various stages (some before you even get to the hospital), what to expect in terms of procedures at the hospital (baby will be in the room with you, various shots, the hearing test, the social security card/birth certificate process, breastfeeding support availability, etc. etc. etc.), as well as practicing breastfeeding holds, the right way to get a good latch, etc. You could schedule a hospital tour separately but this was also included in ours. This all encompassing class might be different than what yours offers but it was SO insanely valuable. If you are planning to do hypnobirthing I'm also assuming you're going med free and if you aren't hiring a doula and your husband is your support person, I don't think it'd be a good idea not to do it.
My hair is all over the place (curly in the top layer, then wavy, and almost straight in the underneath layer) but I've finally gotten it back to the length it was when pregnant with DD and I can twist it into a low bun, let it dry, and it comes out in soft waves. I should do more with my hair but I've kind of stopped caring so much #momlife
@DuchessOfCambridge glad your dr reassured you it is different medical history, I could imagine it was very hard anyway
@lappymom2019 I also signed up yesterday for classes. I am going to do the regular birthing classes in Feb at the hospital and in March I start hypnobirthing...4 hrs every Sunday....not sure if my husband will want to attend all but we will see. They need 3 people to register so I hope they won’t cancel my class.
being a FTM, I feel like I am learning something new everyday and a bit overwhelmed with knowing there is a lot I don’t know. This weekend I learned that apparently for daycare you need to sign up on the wait lists as soon as you find out you are pregnant, and many friends here in Denver told us how many places rejected them!!! This week I am making appointments in as many as I can find to get to their wait lists.
Someone on here recommended the podcast The Dream (about MLMs) - and it was so good (and also maddening)! I think podcasts are my new thing now, I have been so sick of the same music over and over. Since then, I've listened to Believed (SO hard to listen to, about Larry Nassar) and Dirty John (holy moly...). Just started another by Wondery, called Hollywood & Crime.
then 3 failed IUIs, and finally a successful IVF FET.
Due with #2 5/2/19 after HIO once in my FW,
because apparently that's how life works now. Team Blue!
That was a novel, sorry! But that's the basic process we used. We did end up kicking a couple of people out of the private group (for sketchiness) before the move to FB, so it was definitely worth doing.
Tw:
It was my cousins (raised like sisters) significant other and father of her 2 children. He was 29 and had misdiagnosed chest pains last month. Leading to a massive heart attack. I dont even know how to help her or what to say. Shes had such a hard road in life so this just feels so unfair.
On a lighter note thanks to whoever mentioned the show Tyding Up....I've been watching and cleaning for days lol.
then 3 failed IUIs, and finally a successful IVF FET.
Due with #2 5/2/19 after HIO once in my FW,
because apparently that's how life works now. Team Blue!
The Grandma Wars have begun over here. I’m an only child and my husbands sister doesn’t want children so this is the first and potentially only (fertility problems) grandchild for both sides. My MIL has decided she wants to buy our entire nursery but realistically isn’t in a financial place to do so. She confided in my Mom recently money is pretty tight for them right now. My parents are in a place where it would be easy to make large purchases and my mom also wants to buy the entire nursery and let my MIL buy the car seat. I’m currently getting rapid fire texts about it from my Mom wanting to order everything today. While it’s really nice that our families want to help and the offers are so generous I don’t know how to navigate it without hurting anyone’s feelings. I know they’re both just so excited and want to help.
@lappymom2019 additional questions: what is the security protocol and who can pick up the kid, vaccine requirements (do they allow kids without all vaccines), ratio of children to teachers/carers, flexibility and hours of operation
@poshspice thanks for all the context. Sounds reasonable
@bumbly_b same about the Tidying Up. I'm doing it slowly so I don't get overwhelmed. I'm pretty organized to begin with but am using some of her suggestions on how to organize BETTER and it's been amazing. I've only done one of my dresser drawers but hoping to do the rest by the end of this week and go through all my pants and sweaters. It's hard getting rid of stuff when pregnant because what if it fits later! So I'm giving myself grace and getting rid of things I didn't really even like before I got pregnant with DS or things that no longer fit my style.
@poshspice I would like that a lot, actually. I'm not comfortable posting photos here because it's so public but wouldn't mind doing that in a private group. I'm not terribly worried about moving to FB but I've heard weird things can happen so I'm cool with the vetting process as well.
Thank you all for your kind words. I'm looking forward to the day when I don't get so triggered about the birth stuff, like not full on sobbing because I see clothes DS wore in the NICU. I think I'll always be sad but it will be nice to not be devastated. As for the other stuff, I think I'll always worry about him but I'm so glad his doctor wrote me a long email explaining everything to ease my fears. I've been busy today! MIL is coming to visit tonight and staying until Sunday so I cleaned DS's bath/the guest bath, the kitchen, and our bathroom. I wanted to dust everything but honestly, I'm way too tired to do our full home today. Anything that was actually dirty is clean now. I also folded and put away all the laundry we did yesterday and MIL now has clean sheets haha. The rest of my afternoon is more computery stuff - I need to find an eye doctor for me, dentists for both DS and me, need to talk to my OBs office about sending me vax proof stuff, and need to submit a form for another therapist DS may be seeing (he's at least getting evaluated). I'm pooped! H is coming home after work to give me a small break to shower alone (without DS in the bathroom throwing things into the shower LOL) and then he'll go get his mom from the airport. It will........be a time having her here.
@DuchessOfCambridge I haven’t been posting any u/s pics and I did one HDBD without my face before deciding I wasn’t really comfortable doing that, but I’ll play more in a private group, too.
@DuchessOfCambridge it takes a while, but soon it won't be so fresh. When DS was sick, it caused a lot of issues for me mentally. For the next 2 years I couldn't see "on this day" posts without crying, couldn't look through the baby box I'd packed his first st Patrick's day socks in (which he wore in PICU). I couldn't even really talk about what happened. Every time he got a cold, I had a panic attack. I was sure it was happening again, every time. Even now, he's 5, and in May he was hospitalized for respiratory distress. I lost my shit. I was certain we were doing it all over again.. Luckily they take it much more seriously now and it's not the same scenario. It never will be, if I have any say. It's hard to let these things go, but one day it won't be so fresh. I don't get panic attacks when he catches a cold. I just get him some Albuterol and we work our way through it. I can watch the video my birth group made me now (though not without tears) and look through the pictures they sent. It's not gone, but it's easier. ♥️ You'll get there, momma. It just takes time.
This is actually very eye opening for me as a soon to be mom of 2. I'm used to one on one time all the time with DS1 so I feel like I know him well. And I thought I knew her kids well, but each of them is so different individually than they are as a group. It's really stressing the importance of getting one on one time with my kids.
TOTALLY RANDOM QUESTION: I just saw a article posted in The Bump Facebook page about positive pregnancy tests and what people do with them. So my question: what did you do with your positive tests? I have three of the four (one was a digital and the YES+ went away after about a month) in my bathroom drawer. I don’t feel like I can throw them away!