December Randoms - Page 2 — The Bump
TTC After a Loss

December Randoms


Re: December Randoms

  • @Mack2342 yeah I was thinking of asking about trigger shots in combo with the femara before moving onto IUI (I know it’s not that bad by DH and I just don’t feel like we’re ready for more ‘invasive’ intervention yet). But now that I’ve don’t more research about PCOS and hyperovulation stimulation syndrome I’m too scared to...

    @mwmiller4 oh my gosh!!! I’m so sorry! So f*cking done with 2018! Hope he pulls through with flying colours! *Creepy internet hugs*
  • @mwmiller4 I’m so sorry to hear that! Have they scheduled surgery? I’ll be praying for him! Please keep us updated and bring on a much better New Year!!!
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  • @mwmiller4 Oh no, I'm so sorry. I'll be thinking of you and him, and sending all the good thoughts. 2018 have been an awful year and I'll be glad to see it go.
  • @mwmiller4 I'm so sorry. Fx that everything goes smoothly and his recovery is "easy". 

    Add me to the F 2018 list. 2019 HAS to be better then this ish.
  • @mwmiller4 Oh I am so sorry.  I’ll be thinking of you and your family.  Hugs  <3
    Me: 31 DH: 31
      <3 DS born 6/2017, became a heart angel 8/2018 <3
    CP 3/2019
  • @mwmiller4 Oh no!  So sorry.  I really hope they can get him all fixed up and better ASAP!

    prpl11butterfly Ugh, I've said that the last several years... and honestly, this RPL hell has each year being the same old shyte... *sigh* 
  • @mwmiller4 I’m sorry.  I hope he is ok.  Keeping you in my thoughts.  

    @justarius I would talk with RE about all your options and what you are willing to do and not do 
  • @mwmiller4 I wish him a smooth recovery. This year has definitely not been kind :/
  • @dpjennifer I mean, even if I have another loss maybe I won't have 3 🤷‍♀️ But if I cant have hope in pregnancy then at least i can hope for answers..... hell, I'll take theories if that's all he's got for me....
  • Thanks everyone, seriously. This is the most beautiful corner of the internet for me many days and I hope you know how much comfort you bring me :heart:
  • @prpl11butterfly understood. That used to be my mindset. After first it was all 'MC is common, it doesn't mean anything.' After second it was 'well this loss was super early so probably just a fluke that I had 2 in a row.' After 3rd it was 'ok, were gonna get testing. We will figure out what the problem is and fix it!' When that testing came back fine we tried again and had MC #4. So we went to a second RE for more tests.. and basically I'm about 20 lbs too fat. 4 dead babies and tons of testing and all they can tell me to do is lose 20 lbs. Meanwhile, well over a year of trying again on our own... I just dont have hope that 2019 will be better.
    But I really hope you get more answers if you have more MC...because being unexplained SUCKS!
  • @dpjennifer I completely understand. I don't buy into the overweight nonsense. I think there has to be answer but they use that as an excuse to not dig further. Maybe the answer isnt a known one yet, but there is a reason.

    All I know is if my doc tells me to lose weight I'm going to lose my mind.
  • @dpjennifer and @prpl11butterfly I don’t buy into that lose weight either.   Plenty of overweight women have babies all the time.  My sister was well over 250 with her first and close to 300 and 38 YO when she had her 2nd and they both were “oops”.  And no MC for her.   It’s garbage. 
  • Hi Ladies!  I am going to introduce myself in randoms.  (I hope that is ok.)  I dont really feel like starting a new post.  Short version started TTC #2 last spring.  I had a CP, followed by a twin missed miscarriage in August.  I opted for a natural miscarriage which went on for 3 months (without me realizing) due to retained tissue. I had 2 ultrasounds saying I was all clear.  They were wrong. That ended in a trip to the ER.   Anyway, we are back to trying and I attempting to be a little positive, but I am having a hard time doing so.  I am 38, so I feel like I am battling the clock.  I look forward to chatting with you!
  • @KerCo51 welcome! Sorry you find yourself here and that you had such a traumatic experience. It is so hard to be positive about pregnancy after loss. 

    Tomorrow is the first of the seasons family events since I "went public" about our losses. I'm low key freaking out. 
  • @kerco925 sorry for your losses.  Welcome to the group.  

    @prpl11butterfly I hope family events go well. 
  • @kerco925 I’m very sorry you’re here and for your losses. 

    @prpl11butterfly hoping your family events go smoothly and you enjoy yourself a bit. 
    Me: 32 │ DH: 35 
    Married 8/16/13
    BFP#1 DS 11/13/16
    BFP# 2 MMC dx @ 13w 10/30/18
    BFP# 3 Preemie DD born at 38w (IUGR) on 8/28/19 weighing 5.5lbs. Our little miracle  <3

  • ruby696ruby696 member
    edited December 2018
    I hope today goes well @prpl11butterfly.

    I'm sorry you're here @kerco925. I hope your stay is short.
  • prpl11butterfly How did your family events go?  I hope they ended up being better and less stressful than you were planning on...
  • @dpjennifer it went well. I kept occupied (it was at my house) so the aunt who I suspected would pry didn't see much of me. And since it was a football day, my uncle didnt let her linger long after the party died down.
  • Glad things went well @prpl11butterfly
  • @kerco925 I’m so sorry for your losses—welcome and I hope your stay here is short!

    @prpl11butterfly I’m so glad the party went well—I hope the rest of the holiday events are similarly uneventful!
  • I’m kind of spiraling today. I read some articles last night and this morning about PTSD in caregivers of medically fragile children, and a lot of it rang true for me. And then this morning a friend (who I just had drinks with on Saturday) posted that her daughter is in the ICU because she is unresponsive and seizing. I can’t stop thinking about them and hoping for a better outcome than we had. Ugh. And then Friday is the anniversary of DS’s heart surgery. So it’s just....a lot.
    Me: 31 DH: 31
      <3 DS born 6/2017, became a heart angel 8/2018 <3
    CP 3/2019
  • @SpongeWorthy I’m so sorry you’re dealing with all of those emotions right now. I can’t imagine what that must be like but I am praying for you and hoping this holiday season isn’t too difficult. 
  • @SpongeWorthy I can't even imagine how hard this must be for you. Be gentle with yourself and please feel free to vent here if it helps. Also, if you think you might have PTSD or you're having PTSD symptoms, please consider talking to someone who specializes in it. They can give you the tools you need to manage it and maybe start working through it.  <3
  • @SpongeWorthy sorry you are dealing with this.  Sorry your friend is dealing with such a stressful situation too.  I hope all is ok.  I agree if you feel like you are experiencing PTSD you should seek some help.  
  • @SpongeWorthy I can't even imagine what you have gone through. Please feel free to vent and cry and reach out to us here. And it's always ok to seek help. 
    @kerco925 I am sorry you find yourself here with us. I hope you're stay is short.

  • So DH and I booked 2 weeks away for our 20th anniversary. Good friends are joining for the first week but then we had the second week all to ourselves for a nice relaxing beach vacation. Two nights ago MIL calls us to tell us, surprise! They booked flights and will be joining us for our second week. Not a welcome surprise at all!!! MIL is overbearing and stressful to be around. I have no idea why they think it's ok to bombard our anniversary trip! The relaxing holiday I imagined is not going to happen. I'm so angry at them and DH is mad as well but saying anything to them will just cause a huge family blowup. 
  • @40momma oh no! I’m sorry, that’s horrible.  I would be mad too.   
  • @SpongeWorthy So sorry you are feeling this way. I agree that if that article really spoke something to you, talking about it with a therapist/counselor could be really helpful. I received a sort of pre-PTSD diagnosis last year and having the right diagnosis made such a huge difference. It was so relieving for someone to look me in the eye and acknowledge, "This isn't just sadness and grief anymore. This is trauma. And we can fix it." Hang in there through this difficult season and be gentle with yourself.
  • SpongeWorthy I also hope your friend's outcome is good! I'm so sorry you're going through all this, it's always hard when things seem to pile up around triggering dates. I'd definitely look into therapy, if you're not already. I found someone who had specialties in infertility/child loss/PTSD/depression and it's been immensely helpful to me. She had gone through some Infertility and MC while on her own TTC journey, and it has really helped me work through my situation (even though I'm still working through it, obviously).

    40momma  OMG! That's awful! Did she not realize it was an intimate trip? Guess you could always make it awkward for them, like, '"Wow, we're really enjoying the beach right now... but I'm feeling frisky so DH and I are going to go back and have sex now." 
  • @40momma I would be pissed and make MH tell them they can't come or I would see if I could change the dates so the first week was our alone week and the second week was our week with friends. Then send a text halfway through the trip, letting them know you just realized the dates were off and you wouldn't be there when they began their trip. Argh, that makes me mad for you! 
  • @SpongeWorthy I'm sorry you're not feeling ok. Some days can be very exhausting, so I hope you feel better with time.

    @40momma Aww... that sucks. Maybe you can schedule an activity just for the both of you, like an hour at the spa or something and then magically disappear for another couple of hours?
  • Thanks ladies, I'm so mad and feel like it will only get worse if I try to change anything. I like @dpjennifer idea, just make them feel completely awkward and uncomfortable. MIL doesn't think of anyone but herself so when she booked this trip she just assumed we would all be thrilled that she was joining us. It's making my TWW so stressful. Of course I so badly want to be pg but at the same time I'm now scared to death that if I am, I'll be about 6 -7 weeks along when I'm with her which is of course prime time for me to mc. She doesn't know about any of our losses and if she ever found out, she would blame me. 
  • @SpongeWorthy I agree with everyone else, if you feel like you have it, you should talk to someone. Keeping everything crossed for your friend.

    @40momma ouch. I can't beleive that she would do that. I would "have plans" everytime they asked about doingsomething. Dinner? Oh we have reservations for 2 already. And perhaps you could sneak a comment in about how you were not expecting anyone else had planned on an intimate (wink wink) trip. I hope that everything goes well if you are in fact preg.
  • Thank you all for your kind words.  I do see a therapist, although not as often as I would like.  I have the name of someone who is closer to my house, and I've been meaning to give her a call.  It's hard when you feel like you are doing so well, and then something comes out of nowhere to bring you right back to your trauma.  And thankfully my friend's daughter did stabilize, although they don't have a lot of answers right now.
    @40momma That is so rude of your MIL.  And she would blame you for your losses??  How callous and dumb.  I'm sorry you have to deal with someone like that on a regular basis.
    Me: 31 DH: 31
      <3 DS born 6/2017, became a heart angel 8/2018 <3
    CP 3/2019
  • It’s hard to know where I fit right now since I’m doing IVF but this board just feels like a closer knit group and I feel supported here so I hope you don’t mind me continuing over here. I’m in my own kind of TWW, had my egg retrieval today and got six eggs. I know that’s not a lot for some people but it was really good news for us. Tomorrow I will find out how many fertilized and Thursday I will find out how many made it to the testing phase. From there it’s about two weeks before we know if any are “normal” but the holidays are in there so it will be even longer. My dad’s transplant is also during that time so I will definitely be focusing on him a lot. If you made it this far thanks for listening:)
  • @char245 of course you can stay.  I’ve been on this board for over 2yrs now and we’ve seen several ladies go through IVF and move on to month group.  6 eggs is great!  I would be thrilled with that.  FX cross they all fertilize and make it to testing.   You can jump into the TWW and keep us posted there.   I also hope all goes well with your dad.  
  • @char245 the only time I expect you to leave this group is when you get a BFP! I think 6 is a great number! Fx they all fertilize and test perfect! Keeping your family in my thoughts Re:your dad. ❤

    Afm... AF is torturing me. I've been spotting since Thur. Yesterday it seemed like she was finally making her appearance and now nothing. My plan for testing is totally screwed up. I'm either going to have to handle it myself (but driving 45min home after fasting and lots of blood draw sounds terrifying). Or hope CD2 , if she shows by 3pm today, or CD4 is acceptable for tests.
  • @char245 Stay as long as you want. I'll be rooting for you re: normal, fertilized eggs. And I'll be thinking of your dad 

    @prpl11butterfly If it helps, I had 16 vials of blood drawn for genetic testing and I was fine to drive afterwards. I read a book while they did it and I'm sure they would let you hang out for a bit to have a snack and make sure you're feeling okay.
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