June 2019 Moms

Breast Feeding Discussion


Re: Breast Feeding Discussion

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  • @tuxielove93 all great points, 100% true in my experience. When my son was a year old i thought i was running out of milk until I went on a business trip and saw i could express way more than before - their appetites grow and our bodies miraculously keep up!
  • @harrierwife I absolutely bought a notebook last weekend just for this thread
  • @BumpAdmin can we get this thread pinned please? 
  • tsa208tsa208 member
    edited December 2018
    I posted this in another thread in July, but wanted to add it here. If you plan to breastfeed, check and see if your hospital is 'baby-friendly' certified. 

    It's a designation administered by the World Health Organization and UNICEF means the hospital has implemented certain measures related to successful breastfeeding, like providing lactation consultants, allowing rooming in (where the baby stays with you instead of going to the nursery), and initiating breastfeeding within the first hour of birth. It's primarily around breastfeeding, but you'll find other things correlate with the baby friendly designation, like undisturbed first hour, immediate skin to skin after birth, delayed cord cutting, etc. When my daughter was born at a baby-friendly hospital, the team did a very quick physical check but almost immediately just placed her on my chest and let us be. They were careful to turn down the bright lights, be very quiet and leave us alone to let us bond while they sewed and cleaned me up in the background. I almost forgot they were there! She did the crawl over to my breast and started feeding very quickly. Maybe an hour later, they took her and cleaned her up and administered any tests but they feel that first hour needs to be a calm moment between baby and mother as opposed to giving the baby a bath, apgar tests, pricking their feet for the blood test, administering the eye goop, etc. They still do that, just later.

    Baby friendly hospitals are becoming more and more common (I think a quarter of hospitals are), so if that's important to you, look for it or a hospital that is trying to get certified. Mine technically wasn't certified at the time I gave birth, but they were 95% there and got the certification later.



    And if your hospital of choice isn't certified, you can still use this as a guide for your birth plan. I only have one child, so I can't compare, but having that uninterrupted first hour was really amazing.  It also meant no visitors for the first hour, which may be difficult for some but I didn't want visitors so early anyways. And if you don't either, it's a nice "medical" excuse to buy yourself some time before the in-laws come busting in!

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • My last hospital I delivered at did most of those things while I was holding her. I did have a nurse who kept trying to tell me to stop nursing her because babies don't want to nurse right out of the womb.  It w as s all I could do to not be rude to her. Then she kept butting in on my conversation with dH about the baby. I mentioned she has such as good latch i bet she cluster feeds tonight and she corrected me and said, "No she will sleep tonight and cluster tomorrow." Well, boy was she wrong. That girl nursed so much my milk was in by the 24 hour mark. 

    All this to say, my hospital called themselves breastfeeding friendly but they really weren't as friendly as the hospital I used  before that one. 
  • tsa208tsa208 member
    edited December 2018
    @emeraldcity603 Good on you for not slapping her - post labor, I would not have been in the mood for any of that! lol

    I don't know if it's been mentioned on here, but it's TOTALLY normal for breastfeed babies to drop up to 10% of their weight immediately after birth (formula fed babies may lose weight too, but typically not as much). Jaundice, due to the weight loss, is also more common in breastfed babies. I freaked out when my baby dropped the weight but my pediatrician was like, that's totally normal, it will go right back up in a couple of weeks. And she was right. However, she's very pro-breastfeeding and has a lot of experience with it (she's been a pediatrician for 35 years). I've heard a lot of pediatricians push for formula if they see that kind of weight loss, to the detriment of the BF relationship. It's a balance - there is a point where it's too much weight loss. Just make sure you find a breastfeeding-experienced pediatrician so that you get informed advice.
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • I don't want this to be taken the wrong way -- so please, please, read it with grace if it comes out bad...but with all the other adjustments and work that goes into keeping a new baby alive, aside from being free, what would make someone actually WANT to breastfeed? Coming from a FTM perspective, knowing there is no possible way I can understand what all being a mom will entail until I'm in that position, if there's a safe way to make sure the baby is fed, share the work of feeding with a SO, and eliminate a lot of the stress with regard to latching, supply, diet, and so on (and in some cases physical pain)...I'm at a loss as to why this is something moms want to undertake.

    Again, please don't read that as a criticism or snarky comment or anything ill-intentioned. I mean it as an honest question. This thread is super eye-opening, with tons and tons of information, and thankfully we still have some time to learn and absorb it all...but from a purely logic-driven, experience-free standpoint, I'm not fully understanding why this is something worth the effort. In other words, for those who did or want to BF, why did or do you do it and not skip straight to formula?
  • cricket1688cricket1688 member
    edited December 2018
    @ki1244 for me going into this for the first time I wish to do it if I’m able simply for hoping that I’m the type of person that loves it and feels closer to baby BC of it. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with not wanting to do it. And I know moms who have had plenty milk supply but simply hated the feeling of breastfeeding and it made them more detached from the baby. So I totally agree with majority of the thread that a fed baby is a healthy baby however anyone chooses to do it. Honestly sometimes my nipples hurt so bad now pre baby that I think omg how will I ever enjoy a baby latched to my breast? I want to enjoy it and will go in hopeful that it’ll be a pleasant beautiful experience but it might not be hahah and I’m prepared for that too
  • @ki1244 So as I wrote above I had a ton of struggles with bfing and it didnt work for my son and I. He was formula fed. That being said I will still try again to BF this time. 1. There are some health benefits for both baby and mom with breastfeeding. I dont have the research but I believe that I've read somewhere that bfing can help lower (not eliminate) chances of PPD/PPA. 2. There is always the fact that formula costs money. 3. Not having to make sure that you have enough bottles/formula when you go out. With my son he had an issue with gas and I had to premake his bottles so that there was time for the gas bubbles to settle before feeding him. I had the Dr. Browns formula Pitcher that I premade every evening for the next day. But when we would go out I had to bring a cooler with enough formula for what I thought I would need that day. 4. There is an element of bonding involved in bfing. Not to say that you dont bond with formula I just think it is a little different. 
  • @ki1244 similar to @KissMeImScottish it comes down to money and convenience. Formula is expensive and if possible I would rather save and use that money on other stuff. It just didn't make sense of my body could make it.  Everyone is different, but regulating my supply wasn't hard. Hydrating and high protein was all that I did. But I had a fluid problem early pregnancy with DS so I was already drinking so much water anyway.

    It is so easy to pop a boob in the mouth in the middle of the night. DH and I had a system where he went and got DS and I would feed him, then he would put him back down. Not having to get out of bed is a game changer. I can't imagine MOTN having to make and warm up a bottle. Yes you can share the responsibility with DH, but for us it was easier. 

    It is so easy to BF on the go. At first I was hesitant to BF in public but I have never once been side eyed and DS hated the cover so there was no hiding it. It is a lot more acceptable than it  was years ago. I've never been told to go to the bathroom or cover up. 
  • @ki1244 For me, it was a few things. The first was cost. Formula is so expensive and I would love to save money this time. Second is that I had a lot of mom guilt the first time with not being successful BFing DD. I feel like I didn’t try hard enough so I really educated myself for this time. Third is the bonding aspect. When things weren’t going well with trying to feed DD, I really resented her. I don’t want to feel that way with this baby. And finally, not needing to worry about bringing formula everywhere or having enough when we go out. I am high anxiety and I was always worried she would starve when we went out (even though DH constantly reminded me there’s a Walgreens on every corner)
  • @ki1244 I think that is a great question! BF can be hard, and I never had that “bonding” feeling some people talk about. But the reason I did it for 6 months is similar to what others have mentioned above so I’ll keep my response short

    1. Money (6 months of formula from 6-12 months was expensive)
    2. Convenience - no need to carry bottles around and made MOTN feedings easier
    3. Health - not only for baby but myself and i was able to lose my baby weight while BF (this isn’t the case for everyone and kind of a selfish reason but...)
  • tsa208tsa208 member
    edited December 2018
    @ki1244 That's a great question and I'm glad you asked it. As a FTM, my reasoning was primarily health-related. Breastmilk changes with your baby to adapt to what it needs. So a newborn gets a thicker milk called colostrum, which is high in protein, vitamins, minerals, and immunoglobulins that give additional passive immunity to your kid. Basically you are sharing your immune system. You'll continue to pass along these antibodies, immune factors, enzymes, and white blood cells through your milk, helping beef up baby's immune system. There are a lot of other health benefits, but that was a big one for me. That being said, I wound up supplementing 5 months in and I should have started supplementing way earlier than that for my mental health's sake. This time around, I want to breastfeed again, for the health benefits but also it was just more convenient as many people have mentioned. I won't be so adamant about exclusively breastfeeding this time around though. 

    Also, I think everyone's comments about the baby-friendly hospitals are a good grain of salt. I have heard of some awful experiences with overly militant medical staff; at the end of the day, your wishes should be respected. For a long time, the balance was against moms that wanted to breastfeed (mostly because of corporate involvement by the formula companies) and the Baby-Friendly designation was created to combat that. We're in a much better place now for breastfeeding moms, so now it's about finding a place that will respect your wishes, whatever they are. More than anything,  a baby needs a relaxed healthy mom and that comes from being supported and treated well and being given the opportunity to rest. If and when you take your hospital tour, these are all good things to ask - figure out if they are breastfeeding-supportive but not breastfeeding Nazis!

    @meatballs37 That's exactly what I do too for the middle of the night bottles. She usually wakes up starving between 12 and 2 am, so I keep a bottle with formula powder and a Medela bottle of water on my nightstand ready to go. I never boiled my water, just kept dedicated gallons/bottles of distilled water that I only used for bottles.

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • We did formula cold. I did boil the water for the first like 8 months though. (they stressed it because he was a premie and because we have well water, I dont know if that is valid or not) I would boil it at night then mix it with the formula in the pitcher and put it in the fridge over night. I could never get shaken bottles to not be super bubbly. (Most likely user error) I would also just wash the bottles at night and put them on a crying rack. Maybe once a week or when I need to run it I would throw a few in the dishwasher. 
    This is the pitcher I had. Super simple and easy. 

  • @meatballs37 This is the kind of system my sister and her husband had for their son, and it seemed to work pretty well for them (they had a few of those formula-dosing containers with like three portioned out segments, but same idea). They just used distilled water and away they went. She also kept a shelf-stable bottle of his formula in her diaper bag, so if they were out longer than she intentioned and she didn't have a pre-measured bottle available, she had that and would just replace it when she got home.

    Honestly, the relative ease of that (compared to the horror stories about mastitis and poor supply and overactive letdowns practically choking a baby and pumping making you feel like a cow and whatnot) is kind of the basis for my question in the first place. My sister BFed her daughter, but her son is adopted so BF wasn't really an option (she tried some of the herbs and cookies and such to see if she could stimulate anything, but it didn't work and she wasn't about to get much more invasive than that). I saw how exhausted she constantly was with her daughter, and how with her son there was a much bigger split in responsibilities -- after a few months even her daughter was able to help feed him sometimes (obviously supervised, but it let my sister fold laundry or something while he was being fed). Some of that naturally comes from being a STM vs a FTM, I'm sure, but she seemed to function SO much better the second time around, even with the responsibility of her daughter too, and it seemed like not having to worry about his food source played a role in that. I don't think she's any less bonded with her son than her daughter, other than the fact that he's going through a Daddy-only phase right now  (but he's also two and he says my DH is his best friend so I think he just prefers the dudes at the moment).

    The cost was definitely a detriment for formula, for sure, and my nephew did get colds more frequently than my niece, so the antibodies in breastmilk I'm sure make a big difference (so the question becomes, would I rather use that Nose Frida thing that makes me dry heave just thinking about it, or go to the effort of BFing, and I legitimately don't know). She didn't have baby weight to lose, of course, but that's something to consider.

    Maybe BFing will be easier than I think, or I'll actually enjoy it (I HATE things besides my bra touching my boobs already, outside of sexytimes stuff, soooo that's going to be a tall order). It's obviously still early enough that I can change my mind 357 times before I even get to the third trimester, and even then, if whatever I land on doesn't work with the actual baby, I can change my mind again. In any case, I really appreciate the empathy and honest answers, without shaming me for asking the question. 
  • DcwtadaDcwtada member
    edited December 2018
    @ki1244 excellent question. I breastfed or tried in the beginning for the health benefits and I believe mothers antibodies are passed on to babies for the first few weeks (6 is sticking out in my head). 

    Formula is expensive and does take some planning, running out in the middle of the night or a snowstorm isn’t an option - although I live in the country so planning is essential. I didn’t warm the water with my last two - it also made there transition to whole milk at a year so much easier. I didn’t really notice any more or less of a bond, although I was less stressed formula feeding not that it would have swayed me either way, but if I am being honest.

    My other piece of advice involves introducing a bottle. This comes from the struggle I saw my cousin (whom I adore) go through was she wanted to exclusively breastfeed her last baby so she didn’t introduce a bottle (even with breastmilk) until around 6 months or later possibly. Her son refused, to the point if she left him with a family member he wouldn’t eat until she got home. Also his transition to milk at a year was a terrible ordeal. She told me she would have gotten him used to drinking out of a bottle every once in awhile in the beginning so she could go on a date night or have husband feed him if she needed a break. I know it was extremely tough on her and she had 4 older children so she was an experienced mom to say the least. Not saying it will happen, I know some babies that eventually took to bottles when they were introduced later but it is something to consider. 
  • For me there were many reasons so I’ll keep them short
    1. Cost
    2. Ease- I have milk on tap any time my baby needs it in any place with no prep work or washing afterwards 
    3. Health benefits for myself and baby- did you know any amount of breastfeeding reduces the chance of breast cancer down the road for mom and the longer you breastfeed the lower the risk?
    4. Bonding- while all moms hold and feed their babies often, breastfeeding is a very intimate act which connects mom and baby in a way that no other thing can. 
    5. Mothering through breastfeeding- breastfeeding is a miracle cure for so many things, it relieves pain for babe, calms them when upset and on top of that expressed breastmilk can be used topically to cure a variety of ailments. 
    6. Breastmilk changes every feed to meet the specific needs of your baby, how cool is that! 
    There are many more too, I could talk all day about the benefits of breastfeeding 🥰
  • @meatballs37 I will cheer you on and give support in anything you choose is best for you and your baby! ❤ 

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