This book is amazing. It helped me through all my trouble with BF. It is very informative and has everything you need to know in it. I still refer to it for holds with a newborn.
Also, I gave this book as a gift to a friend when she was pregnant with her 5th. She tried BF her first 4 babies and was never able to. **TW Her 5th baby spent 1.5 months in the NICU......Tw** and she nursed that baby for a year.
Feel free to ask pumping questions here too! Especially for those who might think about exclusively pumping. I had to exclusively pump for 6 weeks since I had a NICU baby and I learned a lot from that short experience. (IE: ways to increase your supply, how often valves and tubing should be replaced, etc).
Breastfeeding is really really really challenging at first. Getting the baby in a comfortable position and getting the latch right takes a lot of trial and error.
Biggest tip I have is have a really good nipple cream in your hospital bag. I didn’t pack one and about 24 hours after DD was born, I had to send my husband out to get some because my nipples were destroyed. Your nipples might bleed, and that’s okay and perfectly safe for baby.
They say pacifiers cause nipple confusion and that wasn’t my experience at all. We used it when DD was mindlessly sucking to sleep and not actually hungry and it was a lifesaver.
It might be worth it (especially if you’re prone to anxiety like me) to get a baby scale so you can do weighed feeds at home. Those first few weeks when the baby seems like they’re eating round the clock and you’re not sure how much they’re getting, the scale can really help give you an accurate picture of what your supply is like and how much baby is actually getting. I used one several times during the newborn phase and they’re really affordable.
The first couple of weeks are hands down the hardest, but if BFing is important to you, don’t quit during the beginning. DD had latch issues, jaundice, food sensitivities, and I had a massive oversupply that gave her belly issues and we breastfed until she was 3. Mostly for selfish reasons because the hypoallergenic formula is so expensive 😂
BUT on the other hand, if you are struggling with bfing and the cost is your mental health and sanity, please please please don’t hesitate to make the switch. Formula is an amazing creation and there to help you. It is not worth the cost of your mental health and wellness.
FTM here. Out of the gate plan is to attempt BF. I am planning to go back to work around the end of September so I dont want to be pumping at work. I figured 6 weeks BF is my goal then transition to formula. Anyone here make the switch after a few weeks? My concern is it being a troubling transition to bottles. Would it make more sense to pump and bottle feed to save the baby confusion?
@canuckbaby in my experience, after only 6 weeks, your newborn should take a bottle no problem. It’s generally only an issue if you want to go back and forth between bottle and breast those early weeks before breastfeeding is established. Those little buggers are smart. And after a few bottles they realize food comes faster that way.
@meatballs37 good to know. We got a baby brezza to deal with formula after the BF window passes. My DH is wanting me to BF but after hearing how it could be a struggle (ie its not going to work if it takes me 2 months just to get a rhythm going) i think hes more open to it not being able to happen
I struggled a lot with my 1st DD. She stopped nursing at 6.5 months (she had only been night nursing for a month or so at that point). I had to supplement with formula & I felt like a failure. I tried everything I could to boost my supply, but with having to work & her not nursing anymore, my supply tanked. I pumped until she turned 15 months (out of guilt) even though I was barely getting anything those last several months.
My experience with my 2nd DD was much better. I was able to stay at home, so I could nurse her whenever she was hungry. And I made sure to pump as often as I could. I would give her a bottle before bed & she would sleep for 5-8 hours before waking for a feeding, which helped my mental state significantly.
I definitely want to BF this baby. But I'm willing to exclusively pump if that's what works best.
Good luck to all of you on your breastfeeding journeys! It's a challenging road, but it's so rewarding, too!
Another thing: You’ll want to get a big water jug and snacks to keep at your bedside. BFing makes you ravenous in a very unique way and it makes life so much easier to have that stuff in close proximity
My initial plan (who knows how long this will last) is to go exclusively bottle, whether that's pumping or formula. I know there are some sacrifices in that, but once Baby is about three months old, any help I had from DH is gone because that's when basketball season starts and realistically I don't know how much I can count on him. If bottles allow me to share even a little of the burden (he'll be up MUCH later than me so if he can handle a feeding in the 9-11 range I can get a few hours of sleep then, or if it's passing Baby off to another coach's wife at a game to have a bottle so my arms get a break) it's worth it to me. Plus that gives him a chance to spend some time with Baby and bond a little that way since he won't be around as much for other stuff during the day/evening (in season he's gone at 8am, and if he's home before 7 something is weird, 6 and sometimes 7 days a week). And being the delightful combo of an impatient perfectionist, I don't go crazy in the process.
Edit: I'm obviously a FTM, so STM+, talk me out of this if I'm being naive or nuts.
Similar to @meatballs37, I had a nicu baby and he wouldn’t latch due to prematurity and a tongue tie. Nothing worked for his latch, countless Lactation consultants, a tongue tie revision, etc. So I exclusively pumped for a whopping 13 months. Happy to answer any questions.
BF seems like a mystery to me as a FTM. Not because I don't know what it is or how it works, but I'm not sure I understand what the challenges could be to doing it. My mom BF me and my brother and she supplemented with formula I believe, mostly for convenience. I plan to BF as well, especially for the first couple of months. Once I go back to work, I plan to pump while at work and send baby to daycare with those bottles. So here goes some of my dumb questions (I'm going with the assumption that baby comes to term and doesn't have physical challenges making latching diificult): 1. Don't they try to have you breastfeed while you are at the hospital after giving birth? I thought they would have a lactation specialist come by to help (I think I read somewhere else on the board that there are good and bad ones so that could be a toss up of an experience). For those people who had challenges, do you feel like you left the hospital still having issues BFing? 2. How long does a pumping session take? 3. Do you try to exclusively BF for the first month or two before you let DH try with a bottle?
So I have written before about how bfing didnt work for my son and I. I never got a supply. My son only latched one time ever. Other than that I was trying to pump. One of the LCs in the hospital told me that she was no surprised I was struggling based on how far my breasts are apart and the fact that I had little to no growth during my pregnancy. Does anyone know if that is actually a thing? My plan is to try again without ideally putting as much pressure on myself.
@chrssyms- The hospital I delivered at told me that they had a nurse specially assigned to help you BF right after delivery to set you up for a good bf relationship. And that may be true if you give birth during the day but I gave birth at midnight and there was no one around. I tried to just stuff my boob in his mouth and hope for the best because I had no clue what I was doing. It didn't work out. The hospital I was at had 2 shifts worth of LCs but they had about 14 new mom rooms, apts that they made during the day for moms who had been discharged and they run BF support groups. So total I got about 15 mins per shift per day I was there. Every LC that I had told me to do everything different. I am hoping that I just had a bad experience and that everyone else's wasn't the same. I am delivering at a different hospital this time so I am hoping it is different. When I was pumping I pumped for about 20-30 mins (depending on time of day) every 3 hours. I got nothing out of my pumping sessions though. I 100% left the hospital having no clue what I was doing and tried to just wing it.
@dntstpbelieveing well that scares me a bit. ha Maybe I will not rely on the hospital to necessarily help. I might ask my SIL because she said she had a good experience with the LC at her hospital. I will probably also get the book that was recommended above. I don't know if your breasts being far apart is actually a thing, but there are physical "symptoms" that suggest you could have glandular issues (from the little googling research I've done) that could impede milk production. It seems like one of those things where it could suggest a woman might have issues, but doesn't necessarily mean a woman would have issues. So for instance, the fact that you saw little to no breast growth during pregnancy, could be a physical symptom that could have indicated you would have challenges, but didn't necessarily mean you absolutely would. But I'm not a doctor and obviously not an expert. Thanks for sharing your experience though, that's really helpful!
@ki1244 I will say exclusively bottle feeding is significantly easier with formula than with BM. Dealing with cleaning the pump parts in the middle of the night, plus the sheer time it takes to pump is a huge pain in the ass. Its significantly easier to just dump some formula in the bottle and have that be the end of it. Plus transportation of BM if you’re out and about can be more difficult as well. I exclusively pumped with DD because she was in the NICU and breastfeeding without the bottle was significantly easier. Definitely not impossible, just more complicated than exclusively bfing or formula feeding. Pumping moms amaze me.
@chrssyms I am really hoping that my experience is just a shitty one from a local hospital and not the majority of what people encounter. I am just a big fan now of being over prepared. I will say that since my son was a month premature I did not get the benefits of going through BFing at the same time as my follow bmb girls but when they were going through it together they were a huge support for one another and the amount that they were able to assist/teach each other was awesome. I had not read any books or done any classes prior to my delivery because I was under the impression it was all natural and easy. Now I think people are nuts when they say it was easy. (though I also admit that I am not the most mothering/nurturing person so a lot of things have had a learning curve for me)
@dntstpbelieveing yeah I think I would have been in your boat of "it's natural and easy, right?" But this discussion thread has made me, not really worried, but just more interested in possibly asking more questions and maybe trying to get ahold of some resources to just feel a little more prepared. Best case scenario, it ends up being super easy, but if it's not, then I can feel confident and prepared and give myself a break.
@ki1244 I did not EP (exclusively pump) but have had a few friends do it and it is a lot of work. I don’t say that to scare you but just to warn you. I considered it and was actually still thinking about it when I left the hospital but nursing, as frustrating and painful as it was the first few months, just worked better. There were times I would pump so I could go to sleep and have my mom or DH give her a bottle which worked well for us.
A lot of the ladies here have made great points, a few things I’ll add from my experience. - talk to a lactation consultant, if you can as soon as possible after birth in the hospital, they were so helpful! But also know that they are mostly anti-formula so just be prepared for that. If you need to supplement for personal or baby reasons, there is no shame in that! -do not believe people when they say it doesn’t hurt, bc it does. It gets better as time went on but it was painful for me for prob 4-6 weeks which leads me to: - nipple shields are our friends. So I know there is some controversy behind these but for my DD and I they are what kept us going. I used one for 4-6 weeks bc her latch just bad or my nipples were?, and she was checked multiple times for ties and did not have any. - not every baby gets nipple confusion. We knew bottles would be a big part of our feeding schedule when I went back to work so we implemented bottles when DD was only a week old. Most people will tell you to wait but for us it wasn’t a problem. We did use the very slow flow bottles and pace fed.
I think that’s it for now, but I will add that every baby is different so if you choose to breastfeed you will find a way that works for you. Don’t give up, and however long you make it in your journey is a great accomplishment, whether that’s 1 day or 1 year (I quit at 6 months)
This is a great idea; thanks for starting the thread @emeraldcity603. I have a couple questions: —for those who pumped at work, how did you keep the milk cool for the rest of the day? We have pumping rooms here, so maybe there are refrigerators in there? I should investigate.
—I think I’ve heard something about insurance renting pumps, which concerns me slightly for sanitary reasons, but I could have also made this up. Basically, how did you acquire yours and any brand recommendations?
@Bababatty I am a FTM, so I don't have any recommendations or experience, but I do know that my insurance will cover the cost 100% of a breast pump. So you might want to check with your insurance company to confirm that benefit, but it's probably purchased not rented. I don't think you get much of a choice of brand if you do it that way, but you do get a free one.
@Bababatty I used a small cooler bag to store my pump parts and my milk during the day. Unfortunately my school doesn't have a great setup for pumping, so I had to store everything in our regular fridge As far as getting my pump, I went through insurance and got a free Medela Pump in Style Advanced. I considered renting a hospital grade pump when my son was having a hard time latching, but I ended up not needing it. I would definitely check with your insurance and see what they say!
Some other thoughts: -I've always heard you can store your pump parts in the fridge between pumping if you don't have a chance to wash them every single time. -Definitely keep snacks by you for nursing/pumping! I was constantly starving during that time. -It was super painful at first! It took several weeks before I was able to BF without constant pain! After that, it got much easier! -I found that the lactation consultants at my hospital were very helpful. After I left the hospital, my son was having a lot of trouble latching. I was able to go in and meet with them, and they weighed him before and after he fed. They were able to give me a lot of advice and encouragement. -I agree that not every baby has nipple confusion. I had to start pumping when DS was about a week old because he had trouble latching. We then tried to BF every single time before giving him a bottle. When he was around 6 weeks he finally was able to consistently latch, but never had trouble going back and forth.
This thread is amazing. Can I just say I appreciate all the avoidance of BF is best! As a FTM planning to go back to work within a few months (as a Canadian we can take a year to 18 months if we want) I am hoping to give BF a whirl but given the short time frame and wanting to ensure bottle feeding is a smooth transition for when my DH is mr mom during the next 8 months after I go to work I am not sure BF will be for me.
@carleym93 and @nmbrcrnchr1 Thanks for the feedback! Definitely something to consider there. My sister said roughly the same, that pumping was a PITA and just BFing was way easier with her DD (her son is adopted and so was entirely formula fed), and my BFF was exactly the opposite -- she exclusively pumped with both her kids, was religious about it for 5-6 months, and somehow that gave her enough of a supply to last their whole first year. I actually inherited her on-the-go pump, some hands-free contraption she used while dusting or folding or whatever, although even looking at it kind of freaks me out.
Assuming things go the way we plan now, Kid #2 would be adopted so he/she would be exclusively on formula too (if we adopt an infant, still not sure if that will be the reality or not), so I have 0% problem going that way with this first one if that's what it comes down to (if it's good enough for one kid, it's good enough for both, AFAIC). I just figure breast milk is free and formula is not, so the less I have to spend on that, the better. I know single moms BF all the time and make it work -- and during basketball season I'm sort of a part-time single mom -- but that just seems like SUCH a nightmare. (But maybe pumping is worse?)
@ki1244 I don't think your plan is crazy, my only concern would be that sometimes pumping from the beginning can mess with your ability to regulate your supply and you may have oversupply (too much milk, which can lead to mastitis). But lots of moms exclusively pump, so I'm sure there is support out there to help you avoid oversupply. Just watch out for it.
1. Don't they try to have you breastfeed while you are at the hospital after giving birth? I thought they would have a lactation specialist come by to help (I think I read somewhere else on the board that there are good and bad ones so that could be a toss up of an experience). For those people who had challenges, do you feel like you left the hospital still having issues BFing? Yes, I had a lactation specialist come by. She was kind of helpful but a little gruff.
2. How long does a pumping session take? For me, 15-20 minutes.
3. Do you try to exclusively BF for the first month or two before you let DH try with a bottle? I've heard yes, for the reasons I stated above. Also, that first week of colostrum, it is REALLY thick like honey. It would seem difficult to pump but other moms in here who actually have experience pumping it could weight in better than me. Just my 2 cents.
I also second having plenty of nipple cream! I used Medela lanolin cream and it worked well for me. I literally had bleeding boobies at one point and I was like, wow, as long as I take to heal from anything, I won't be able to feed for a few days this is so painful. Put a little lanolin and I was back in business the next day. That stuff is miraculous.
Also, if your hospital offers a breastfeeding basics class, take it. I thought I had read a lot, but the class itself was very, very helpful.
I stopped trying to breastfeed after one month. My daughter had a tongue tie that no one caught until about 2 weeks later. My milk never came in as a result of her not being able to nurse properly. This next time I will have them look immediately and plan to rent the hospital grade pump and start immediately.
I called an end to breastfeeding because it was such a time suck that I wasn’t enjoying my baby. My mother was having to hold her multiple times a day so I could pump an ounce of breast milk every two hours. I looked myself in the mirror and realized I would never get the three months of maternity leave back with her- how did I want to spend my time? I switched to formula and the rest is history. i really only felt guilty when she was teeny and it was obviously not as easy to digest as BM. However by month 2 end she developed enough and didn’t have any problems.
All of this is immensely personal. For me and my baby, breast was not best. A sane Mama and a full baby was best for our family.
BUT on the other hand, if you are struggling with bfing and the cost is your mental health and sanity, please please please don’t hesitate to make the switch. Formula is an amazing creation and there to help you. It is not worth the cost of your mental health and wellness.
I breastfed for 10 months, 5 months exclusively. I'm so happy I did it and I cannot wait to BF this baby that's on the way. That being said, pumping was very hard for me, and I went back to work at 4 months so I had to pump. I drove myself crazy trying to get every little drop I could, trying to avoid formula. The amount of stress on top of the stress from returning to work and having a newborn was just too much. When I finally started supplementing, it was SUCH a relief, such a weight off my shoulders. And you know what, my baby lived and thrived and is healthy lol of course! So while I really would recommend breastfeeding because of all of the benefits, please don't run yourself ragged if it's not working, or you just don't want to. A happy mom is a healthy mom and baby needs you happy and healthy more than anything!
@Bababatty every workplace is different but our “mothers room” as they call it has basically bathroom stalls with a table, chair, and outlets and then lockers to store your bag during the day, as well as a fridge and sink.
someone above mentioned it but you can totally save time with not cleaning your pump parts after every session. I just wiped mine off and threw them in a ziplock baggie and put them in the fridge. Pump parts suck to wash, if you can strike a deal with your DH to help with that, DO IT! 😂 also but an extra set so you can have a spare if you don’t get a chance to wash them one night....or in case you forget them.
oh and I forgot in my previous post, I got the Freemie cups to hook up to most pumps, they are more portable and i was able to pump in the car to and from work. I wouldn’t use them all the time as they weren’t as good as the flanges that came with the pump but they worked for on the go. I really wish someone would gift me the willow pump bc it looks amazing, but with this being my last baby I can’t justify the cost.
Yes, I didn't wash my pump parts every time either. Think about it, your breastmilk can sit just fine in the bottle in the fridge, why can't it sit on your pump parts in the fridge? For the record, breastmilk can sit out in room temp for many hours (Mayo Clinic says 6, but I've seen up to 8) and still be fine, fwiw.
And don't forget, Obamacare requires that your insurance cover a breast pump, and extra parts can be purchased with HSA money. I kept an extra set of parts in case I forgot to wash one night.
@Bababatty unfortunately my insurance was grandfathered in and was not required to supply me with a breast pump. I did rent one from the hospital but I had my own personal tubes and cup thingies. Those are the parts that touch you/your milk so you dont really want to share those. The only part that I returned was the base.
This is a great idea; thanks for starting the thread @emeraldcity603. I have a couple questions: —for those who pumped at work, how did you keep the milk cool for the rest of the day? We have pumping rooms here, so maybe there are refrigerators in there? I should investigate.
I used this Medela cooler bag, and the freezer pack in the middle will keep it cold for more than a day (I know, when I would bolt out of bed in the middle of the night because I forgot to put my milk up after work and it would still be super cold!)
My friend whose baby struggled with latching correctly told me to be on the lookout for gulping sounds. Her baby seemed to be breastfeeding but wasn’t getting anything because her latch wasn’t correct. So my friend thought she was feeding when she was just sucking. She was a FTM who didn’t know any better
Re: spread out boobs: Mine are pretty far apart and I have had zero issues with my son. I had oversupply. But I had a lot of growth during pregnancy and leaking at 14 weeks pregnant. (yes, possible. My boobs are overachievers). So I can’t comment on the no-growth issue.
If you are truly invested in breastfeeding, go watch women breastfeed. Not joking. It is extremely important for primates to actually see other primates breastfeeding in order to be successful themselves. https://upallnight5210.blogspot.com/2012/03/dont-kill-your-kid.html This is also why I am a huge advocate of breastfeeding in public however you are comfortable, and why I continue to nurse my toddler in public.
La Leche League is an amazing resource, both for being able to be around other mothers who are nursing, and to get lots of advice and knowledge ahead of time. I definitely think that a major part of my success in nursing my son was going to these meetings and having these women to support me and answer questions. They love having pregnant moms come, even to just observe and listen. I felt weird for a while because I couldn't contribute yet, but the women were all really happy to have me there. There are chapters just about everywhere in the US, and especially in cities, they offer evening meetings and sometimes weekends too. At least mine also has a Facebook support group where we can all ask questions and get answers from seasoned moms. This group is amazing, and I encourage anyone who wants to breastfeed for even a day to go to at least one meeting and join the online support.
As for the first latch, I was actually a bit fast out of the gate. I was so ready to nurse him when he was born, but the nurses suggested I wait just a little bit. I think it was about 15 minutes after that we started to nurse. The nurses were able to help me adjust him. Idk if I was just lucky to have some awesome nurses or what, but they were more than sufficient. I did see one LC at the hospital right before discharge who was really aggressive and I was not a fan of. BUT the LC I saw at my son's pediatrician was very helpful and supportive of ALL feeding. She offered help with formula if I ever needed despite my son doing super well on breastmilk. So not all LCs come from the same cloth. Definitely shop around for a better one if you don't like the first or the tenth or whatever. There are good ones out there who are genuinely invested in helping you nourish your baby, regardless of how it's done. At least my son was pretty good at getting himself latched on once I got him positioned well, and he was starting to root around looking for the breast, so he was ready to go. I also had a med free induced vaginal birth, which may have helped?
Some moms don't like to do this, but letting baby suck even after you "don't have any milk" is really helpful in establishing supply. Yes, this might mean the baby is latched for 3 hours. No, it does not necessarily mean your baby isn't getting enough milk. My son gained a pound a week for the first 4 months of his life, and he would still suck and suck and SUCK. It's not just soothing to them, it helps to tell your breasts to keep producing milk and it keeps your supply increasing for them. My son would often have some seriously long sucking sessions right before a growth spurt. He was letting my breasts know to up production so that he would have enough through the growth spurt. Let those babies suck as long as you can possibly let them go for. Its also super important to get as much bare skin to bare skin time with your baby as possible, especially in the beginning. We'll have summer babies, so it will be even easier. The more skin you and baby have in contact with each other, the more hormones get flowing, and the better for milk supply. I pretty much didn't even wear a shirt for the first two weeks, and my son often didn't either. I also bathed with him, and I slept topless at night to really up the skin to skin contact. It's also helpful to not have tight/constricting bras and definitely not to have underwire. It compresses the breasts and can cause clogged and other such issues.
On a sleep/breastfeeding note, we co-slept and bed shared and it was the best decision I have ever made in parenting. For the first six weeks, my husband and I were both dead set on keeping him in his little bassinet next to the bed, but it wasn't working. He would wake up to nurse, I would bring him into bed, and then I would just end up falling asleep sitting up anyways, completely unprepared for sleeping with a baby in the bed. It was not as safe as it could and should have been, and I felt extremely guilty because he hated being away from me. My son is still a big snuggle bug and he really wanted to be sleeping right next to me. At six weeks I finally gave up and brought him into bed, following all the safety guidelines below, and it changed my life. I slept way better, and so did my son. I didn't have to sit up to latch him so I stayed more peaceful and was able to fall asleep much faster, and I didnt feel guilty anymore during the day because I knew he was getting all the snuggles he wanted and needed. Plus, I was doing it safely instead of falling asleep sitting up with him. I also: 1) did not wear a shirt or bra (which made nursing a thousand times easier anyways) 2) always had my hair tied back 3) kept him on the outside not between my husband and I since I was the one nursing and therefore the one sensitive to the baby and his movements 4) tucked the blanket around my hips and underneath my legs so it wouldnt move up onto the baby 5) dressed him just in a little sleeper, and then when he seemed to get warmer, put him just in a onesie (my kid runs hot) 6) had my pillow completely pushed back, with just enough to go under my head 7) always made sure the sheets were tight before we went to bed
I absolutely plan on doing the same thing this time right from the get-go, although I am considering some sort of flatter sn face like a Nest just until the baby can at least turn his head.
@chrssyms It is recommended to avoid any other nipples until breastfeeding is well established. I waited two months personally, and we never had an issue with him taking a bottle versus breastfeeding. They have to suck differently on a bottle nipple to get milk, and they get milk faster with the bottle, so a lot of babies both get confused on how to suck properly, and start rejecting the breast because the milk isn't coming fast enough. I recommend the Kiinde system for when you do start using bottles if you want to. The nipples are designed to be similar to breastfeeding, and they are very popular in my breastfeeding groups. Personally, I quit pumping around 4 months postpartum. Obviously, I did not work, so I was lucky to be able to stay home with my baby and just care for him and me. I only pumped a few times so my husband and I could go out alone, but the pumping was always a massive pain to me, and it created an oversupply and clogged ducts whenever I tried to use it. By 4 months we could reliably go out for around 2 hours without my son needing to nurse.
Also, small note about the boppy. A lot of moms swear by it, but just be aware of your body shape and size before you commit to it. I have a very short torso and large breasts. I could not use a boppy, it brought my baby up waaaay to high to be able to nurse. I used my arms, legs, and some smaller pillows like my bed pillow to help be comfortable, and after the first two weeks, I was able to work out a way to sit that was super comfy sans any pillows. The LC at the hospital was trying to use 5 pillows to position me, which was just crazy IMO. I did not have the time or will to set all that nonsense up.
Hubby and Me Friends since 2008 Started dating: July 1st, 2013 Engaged: July 1st, 2014 Married: July 1st, 2016 R born: July 8th, 2017 N born: June 30th, 2019 Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022 (maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
I'll include my experience for whoever it may help down the road. When DS was born he was taken immediately to the special care nursery in our hospital (it's a step down from NICU) and I didn't get to see him for the first hour. We didn't get to try breastfeeding for the first 12 hours. I had already been set up with a hospital grade pump in my room by then. He had a had time latching and just wanted to sleep on me instead. The lactation consultant thought he didn't have the energy to work for my milk. So 30 minutes before I needed to nurse him I would pump for 15 minutes to stimulate the milk to let down. Then 15 minutes later I would nurse him/practice getting him to latch. After he was exhausted from that we would give the colostrum I had just pumped to him in a bottle. This went on for 1.5-2 days before he woke up and my milk fully came in as well and he was able to latch without me pumping first. We also used a nipple shield because he gave him more to latch onto. We left the hospital with a good bf relationship which I credit 90% of to the amazing lactation consultant we had in the hospital. Fingers crossed she's still there this time. Around four months he started to seem frustrated with the nipple shield so we quit using it and went on to bf fine without it. I did have a friend who used the nipple shield for the entire year she bf her daughter and that worked fine for them too. I'll say I loved my nipple shield so don't let anyone tell you they are bad or will confuse baby if you ahve to use one.
I also plan to intro bottles (like the super slow flow preemie ones from the hospital) within the first week and give a paci at the hospital because neither of these things confused DS and both saved my sanity.
tl;dr: nipple shields are the bomb and some hospital lactation consultants are the most amazing ever.
lots of good advice on here! From my experience, here are my tips/suggestions:
1) I originally used Lansinoh as nipple cream, never worked. I switched to Earth Mama, and a world of a difference, within days the pain went away. I got the advice from my Aug BMB. 2) Have a 1:1 lactation consultant appointment. The one on one attention was great, and she was able to coach me through two feeds, and from then on, DD latched and drank away. 3) When storing breastmilk, I used the Lansinoh bags, they can freeze flat, save so much room in your freezer!
I also loved the Earth Mama nipple cream. All of the other nipple creams did nothing for me.
I bought a breast pump with my first child and that thing was so slow. I really despised pumping so I tried renting a hospital grade pump with my second child. Best decision I ever made. I could pump the same amount of milk in half the time. Insurance covered the price of the rental so it worked out really well for us.
TW
Me: 33 DH: 32 DS: March 2014 DD: May 2015 BFP: 12/24/17 CP: 1/2/18 @ 4w 3d BFP: 1/26/18 CP: 2/2/18 @ 4w 4d BFP: 5/16/18 MMC: 6/15/18 @ 7w 5d BFP: 9/25/18! EDD: 6/9/19 TEAM GREEN
I breastfed both my kids for 18 months each. It was super hard at first. With my first kid she lost a pound after birth and it was scary. Breastfeeding was hard, but we got through the first bit with the help of a nipple shield and ultimately it worked. She ended up having MSPI, so I cut soy and dairy out of my diet and pumped like a mad woman at work. I found pumping while driving to and from work a good use of my time. I drank the tea, ate the oatmeal, and ate lactation cookies. It felt like a full time job. I nursed her until she outgrew the intolerance.
With my son it hurt so bad at the beginning. I thought my nipples would be tough because I had nursed my daughter so long, but I was wrong. After a couple weeks the pain went away and everything was easy. I nursed him the same amount of time because mom guilt.
I plan on nursing this time. I will say it is way easier when you stay at home and don’t have to wash pump parts everyday. My best friend did formula right away both times and her kids are amazing and it was way better for her mental health.
I struggled with BF and ended up FF. I gave birth at midnight but a LC came in the next morning. Perhaps there was a latch issue, a tongue tie, or who knows. I felt the LC was super pushy about BF and just gave me a few holding positions. She kept pinching my nipples and said “see, you have milk”. But I felt like he was just sucking and nothing was there. I kept trying but DS seemed to not be connecting with me and was fussy every time I tried to feed. After 24ish hours of him losing more than 10% of his birth weight, the nurse didn’t fight me when I asked for formula. He drank so much. Kid was starving! I cried feeling like a failure and the worst mom (postpartum emotions didn’t help either!). I tried for 2 more weeks at home, but nothing worked. I was depressed. I thought about my sanity, my connection to this new person and decided it wasn’t worth it. I switched to formula and it was the best decision for me. My boobs weren’t even sore so I know my milk never even came in. I’ll give BF a shot again this time, but I’m fairly confident I’ll end up FF for my sanity again. I liked that I could sleep and DH could help me with night feedings.
advice I want to pass on: I was FF and figured I’d FF my DS. But when I couldn’t make BF work, I was sad at my failure. It’s okay to be sad if you chose formula, but keep telling yourself fed is best.
Also, can I shout out my breast pump, the Spectra S1? I had both it and the Medela Pump in Style and I liked the Spectra way better. It was very quiet unlike most pumps - I could pump in bed next to the baby and not wake her up AND it has a chargeable battery, so I could carry it around everywhere (or not worry about finding an outlet when out and about). The charge would last for hours and hours, so I only plugged it in once every couple of days.
There is a Spectra S2 which does NOT have the chargeable battery, just FYI. I had a friend accidentally get the wrong one and kicked herself. Insurance covered the Spectra 2.
@tuxielove93 agree with so much that you wrote. I co-slept a bit too. I'd put her to sleep in the bassinet next to me, but eventually pull her into bed when time to nurse, and then I'd doze back off letting her nurse. I also followed a lot of the same precautions, especially with the pillow. I was terrified of pillows when she was on the bed. I slept better, she slept better. I am glad there are so many warnings given about co-sleeping because it should not be taken lightly, it can be very dangerous when done wrong, but the dirty secret is a lot lot lot of moms wind up doing it, so it's good to share best practices so we can be safe.
Re: Breast Feeding Discussion
Also, I gave this book as a gift to a friend when she was pregnant with her 5th. She tried BF her first 4 babies and was never able to. **TW Her 5th baby spent 1.5 months in the NICU......Tw** and she nursed that baby for a year.
Biggest tip I have is have a really good nipple cream in your hospital bag. I didn’t pack one and about 24 hours after DD was born, I had to send my husband out to get some because my nipples were destroyed. Your nipples might bleed, and that’s okay and perfectly safe for baby.
They say pacifiers cause nipple confusion and that wasn’t my experience at all. We used it when DD was mindlessly sucking to sleep and not actually hungry and it was a lifesaver.
It might be worth it (especially if you’re prone to anxiety like me) to get a baby scale so you can do weighed feeds at home. Those first few weeks when the baby seems like they’re eating round the clock and you’re not sure how much they’re getting, the scale can really help give you an accurate picture of what your supply is like and how much baby is actually getting. I used one several times during the newborn phase and they’re really affordable.
The first couple of weeks are hands down the hardest, but if BFing is important to you, don’t quit during the beginning. DD had latch issues, jaundice, food sensitivities, and I had a massive oversupply that gave her belly issues and we breastfed until she was 3. Mostly for selfish reasons because the hypoallergenic formula is so expensive 😂
BUT on the other hand, if you are struggling with bfing and the cost is your mental health and sanity, please please please don’t hesitate to make the switch. Formula is an amazing creation and there to help you. It is not worth the cost of your mental health and wellness.
My experience with my 2nd DD was much better. I was able to stay at home, so I could nurse her whenever she was hungry. And I made sure to pump as often as I could. I would give her a bottle before bed & she would sleep for 5-8 hours before waking for a feeding, which helped my mental state significantly.
I definitely want to BF this baby. But I'm willing to exclusively pump if that's what works best.
Good luck to all of you on your breastfeeding journeys! It's a challenging road, but it's so rewarding, too!
Edit: I'm obviously a FTM, so STM+, talk me out of this if I'm being naive or nuts.
1. Don't they try to have you breastfeed while you are at the hospital after giving birth? I thought they would have a lactation specialist come by to help (I think I read somewhere else on the board that there are good and bad ones so that could be a toss up of an experience). For those people who had challenges, do you feel like you left the hospital still having issues BFing?
2. How long does a pumping session take?
3. Do you try to exclusively BF for the first month or two before you let DH try with a bottle?
My plan is to try again without ideally putting as much pressure on myself.
@chrssyms- The hospital I delivered at told me that they had a nurse specially assigned to help you BF right after delivery to set you up for a good bf relationship. And that may be true if you give birth during the day but I gave birth at midnight and there was no one around. I tried to just stuff my boob in his mouth and hope for the best because I had no clue what I was doing. It didn't work out. The hospital I was at had 2 shifts worth of LCs but they had about 14 new mom rooms, apts that they made during the day for moms who had been discharged and they run BF support groups. So total I got about 15 mins per shift per day I was there. Every LC that I had told me to do everything different. I am hoping that I just had a bad experience and that everyone else's wasn't the same. I am delivering at a different hospital this time so I am hoping it is different. When I was pumping I pumped for about 20-30 mins (depending on time of day) every 3 hours. I got nothing out of my pumping sessions though. I 100% left the hospital having no clue what I was doing and tried to just wing it.
Thanks for sharing your experience though, that's really helpful!
Edit: Wanted to include this link to an article I was reading. I think a key takeaway is that you might get a lot of questions about "have you tried this?" which could be frustrating, but it's really well-intentioned. https://kellymom.com/bf/got-milk/supply-worries/insufficient-glandular-tissue/
A lot of the ladies here have made great points, a few things I’ll add from my experience.
- talk to a lactation consultant, if you can as soon as possible after birth in the hospital, they were so helpful! But also know that they are mostly anti-formula so just be prepared for that. If you need to supplement for personal or baby reasons, there is no shame in that!
-do not believe people when they say it doesn’t hurt, bc it does. It gets better as time went on but it was painful for me for prob 4-6 weeks which leads me to:
- nipple shields are our friends. So I know there is some controversy behind these but for my DD and I they are what kept us going. I used one for 4-6 weeks bc her latch just bad or my nipples were?, and she was checked multiple times for ties and did not have any.
- not every baby gets nipple confusion. We knew bottles would be a big part of our feeding schedule when I went back to work so we implemented bottles when DD was only a week old. Most people will tell you to wait but for us it wasn’t a problem. We did use the very slow flow bottles and pace fed.
I think that’s it for now, but I will add that every baby is different so if you choose to breastfeed you will find a way that works for you. Don’t give up, and however long you make it in your journey is a great accomplishment, whether that’s 1 day or 1 year (I quit at 6 months)
—for those who pumped at work, how did you keep the milk cool for the rest of the day? We have pumping rooms here, so maybe there are refrigerators in there? I should investigate.
—I think I’ve heard something about insurance renting pumps, which concerns me slightly for sanitary reasons, but I could have also made this up. Basically, how did you acquire yours and any brand recommendations?
Some other thoughts:
-I've always heard you can store your pump parts in the fridge between pumping if you don't have a chance to wash them every single time.
-Definitely keep snacks by you for nursing/pumping! I was constantly starving during that time.
-It was super painful at first! It took several weeks before I was able to BF without constant pain! After that, it got much easier!
-I found that the lactation consultants at my hospital were very helpful. After I left the hospital, my son was having a lot of trouble latching. I was able to go in and meet with them, and they weighed him before and after he fed. They were able to give me a lot of advice and encouragement.
-I agree that not every baby has nipple confusion. I had to start pumping when DS was about a week old because he had trouble latching. We then tried to BF every single time before giving him a bottle. When he was around 6 weeks he finally was able to consistently latch, but never had trouble going back and forth.
Assuming things go the way we plan now, Kid #2 would be adopted so he/she would be exclusively on formula too (if we adopt an infant, still not sure if that will be the reality or not), so I have 0% problem going that way with this first one if that's what it comes down to (if it's good enough for one kid, it's good enough for both, AFAIC). I just figure breast milk is free and formula is not, so the less I have to spend on that, the better. I know single moms BF all the time and make it work -- and during basketball season I'm sort of a part-time single mom -- but that just seems like SUCH a nightmare. (But maybe pumping is worse?)
@chrssyms
1. Don't they try to have you breastfeed while you are at the hospital after giving birth? I thought they would have a lactation specialist come by to help (I think I read somewhere else on the board that there are good and bad ones so that could be a toss up of an experience). For those people who had challenges, do you feel like you left the hospital still having issues BFing? Yes, I had a lactation specialist come by. She was kind of helpful but a little gruff.
2. How long does a pumping session take? For me, 15-20 minutes.
3. Do you try to exclusively BF for the first month or two before you let DH try with a bottle? I've heard yes, for the reasons I stated above. Also, that first week of colostrum, it is REALLY thick like honey. It would seem difficult to pump but other moms in here who actually have experience pumping it could weight in better than me. Just my 2 cents.
Also, if your hospital offers a breastfeeding basics class, take it. I thought I had read a lot, but the class itself was very, very helpful.
I called an end to breastfeeding because it was such a time suck that I wasn’t enjoying my baby. My mother was having to hold her multiple times a day so I could pump an ounce of breast milk every two hours. I looked myself in the mirror and realized I would never get the three months of maternity leave back with her- how did I want to spend my time? I switched to formula and the rest is history. i really only felt guilty when she was teeny and it was obviously not as easy to digest as BM. However by month 2 end she developed enough and didn’t have any problems.
All of this is immensely personal. For me and my baby, breast was not best. A sane Mama and a full baby was best for our family.
someone above mentioned it but you can totally save time with not cleaning your pump parts after every session. I just wiped mine off and threw them in a ziplock baggie and put them in the fridge. Pump parts suck to wash, if you can strike a deal with your DH to help with that, DO IT! 😂 also but an extra set so you can have a spare if you don’t get a chance to wash them one night....or in case you forget them.
oh and I forgot in my previous post, I got the Freemie cups to hook up to most pumps, they are more portable and i was able to pump in the car to and from work. I wouldn’t use them all the time as they weren’t as good as the flanges that came with the pump but they worked for on the go. I really wish someone would gift me the willow pump bc it looks amazing, but with this being my last baby I can’t justify the cost.
And don't forget, Obamacare requires that your insurance cover a breast pump, and extra parts can be purchased with HSA money. I kept an extra set of parts in case I forgot to wash one night.
https://www.amazon.com/Medela-Transport-Bottles-Contoured-Carrier/dp/B00H5OI9XO
Can hold up to 20 ounces, which is likely more than you'll need for a day.
pregnancy and leaking at 14 weeks pregnant. (yes, possible. My boobs are overachievers). So I can’t comment on the no-growth issue.
If you are truly invested in breastfeeding, go watch women breastfeed. Not joking. It is extremely
important for primates to actually see other primates breastfeeding in order to be successful themselves.
https://upallnight5210.blogspot.com/2012/03/dont-kill-your-kid.html
This is also why I am a huge advocate of breastfeeding in public however you are comfortable, and why I continue to nurse my toddler in public.
La Leche League is an amazing resource, both for being able to be around other mothers who are nursing, and to get lots of advice and knowledge ahead of time. I definitely think that a major part of my success in nursing my son was going to these meetings and having these women to support me and answer questions. They love having pregnant moms come, even to just observe and listen. I felt weird for a while because I couldn't contribute yet, but the women were all really happy to have me there. There are chapters just about everywhere in the US, and especially in cities, they offer evening meetings and sometimes weekends too. At least mine also has a Facebook support group where we can all ask questions and get answers from seasoned moms. This group is amazing, and I encourage anyone who wants to breastfeed for even a day to go to at least one meeting and join the online support.
As for the first latch, I was actually a bit fast out of the gate. I was so ready to nurse him when he was born, but the nurses suggested I wait just a little bit. I think it was about 15 minutes after that we started to nurse. The nurses were able to help me adjust him. Idk if I was just lucky to have some awesome nurses or what, but they were more than sufficient. I did see one LC at the hospital right before discharge who was really aggressive and I was not a fan of. BUT the LC I saw at my son's pediatrician was very helpful and supportive of ALL feeding. She offered help with formula if I ever needed despite my son doing super well on breastmilk. So not all LCs come from the same cloth. Definitely shop around for a better one if you don't like the first or the tenth or whatever. There are good ones out there who are genuinely invested in helping you nourish your baby, regardless of how it's done. At least my son was pretty good at getting himself latched on once I got him positioned well, and he was starting to root around looking for the breast, so he was ready to go. I also had a med free induced vaginal birth, which may have helped?
Some moms don't like to do this, but letting baby suck even after you "don't have any milk" is really helpful in establishing supply. Yes, this might mean the baby is latched for 3 hours. No, it does not necessarily mean your baby isn't getting enough milk. My son gained a pound a week for the first 4 months of his life, and he would still suck and suck and SUCK. It's not just soothing to them, it helps to tell your breasts to keep producing milk and it keeps your supply increasing for them. My son would often have some seriously long sucking sessions right before a growth spurt. He was letting my breasts know to up production so that he would have enough through the growth spurt. Let those babies suck as long as you can possibly let them go for. Its also super important to get as much bare skin to bare skin time with your baby as possible, especially in the beginning. We'll have summer babies, so it will be even easier. The more skin you and baby have in contact with each other, the more hormones get flowing, and the better for milk supply. I pretty much didn't even wear a shirt for the first two weeks, and my son often didn't either. I also bathed with him, and I slept topless at night to really up the skin to skin contact. It's also helpful to not have tight/constricting bras and definitely not to have underwire. It compresses the breasts and can cause clogged and other such issues.
On a sleep/breastfeeding note, we co-slept and bed shared and it was the best decision I have ever made in parenting. For the first six weeks, my husband and I were both dead set on keeping him in his little bassinet next to the bed, but it wasn't working. He would wake up to nurse, I would bring him into bed, and then I would just end up falling asleep sitting up anyways, completely unprepared for sleeping with a baby in the bed. It was not as safe as it could and should have been, and I felt extremely guilty because he hated being away from me. My son is still a big snuggle bug and he really wanted to be sleeping right next to me. At six weeks I finally gave up and brought him into bed, following all the safety guidelines below, and it changed my life. I slept way better, and so did my son. I didn't have to sit up to latch him so I stayed more peaceful and was able to fall asleep much faster, and I didnt feel guilty anymore during the day because I knew he was getting all the snuggles he wanted and needed. Plus, I was doing it safely instead of falling asleep sitting up with him. I also:
1) did not wear a shirt or bra (which made nursing a thousand times easier anyways)
2) always had my hair tied back
3) kept him on the outside not between my husband and I since I was the one nursing and therefore the one sensitive to the baby and his movements
4) tucked the blanket around my hips and underneath my legs so it wouldnt move up onto the baby
5) dressed him just in a little sleeper, and then when he seemed to get warmer, put him just in a onesie (my kid runs hot)
6) had my pillow completely pushed back, with just enough to go under my head
7) always made sure the sheets were tight before we went to bed
https://www.llli.org/breastfeeding-info/sleep-bedshare/
I absolutely plan on doing the same thing this time right from the get-go, although I am considering some sort of flatter sn face like a Nest just until the baby can at least turn his head.
@chrssyms It is recommended to avoid any other nipples until breastfeeding is well established. I waited two months personally, and we never had an issue with him taking a bottle versus breastfeeding. They have to suck differently on a bottle nipple to get milk, and they get milk faster with the bottle, so a lot of babies both get confused on how to suck properly, and start rejecting the breast because the milk isn't coming fast enough. I recommend the Kiinde system for when you do start using bottles if you want to. The nipples are designed to be similar to breastfeeding, and they are very popular in my breastfeeding groups. Personally, I quit pumping around 4 months postpartum. Obviously, I did not work, so I was lucky to be able to stay home with my baby and just care for him and me. I only pumped a few times so my husband and I could go out alone, but the pumping was always a massive pain to me, and it created an oversupply and clogged ducts whenever I tried to use it. By 4 months we could reliably go out for around 2 hours without my son needing to nurse.
Also, small note about the boppy. A lot of moms swear by it, but just be aware of your body shape and size before you commit to it. I have a very short torso and large breasts. I could not use a boppy, it brought my baby up waaaay to high to be able to nurse. I used my arms, legs, and some smaller pillows like my bed pillow to help be comfortable, and after the first two weeks, I was able to work out a way to sit that was super comfy sans any pillows. The LC at the hospital was trying to use 5 pillows to position me, which was just crazy IMO. I did not have the time or will to set all that nonsense up.
Friends since 2008
Started dating: July 1st, 2013
Engaged: July 1st, 2014
Married: July 1st, 2016
R born: July 8th, 2017
N born: June 30th, 2019
Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022
(maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
Around four months he started to seem frustrated with the nipple shield so we quit using it and went on to bf fine without it. I did have a friend who used the nipple shield for the entire year she bf her daughter and that worked fine for them too.
I'll say I loved my nipple shield so don't let anyone tell you they are bad or will confuse baby if you ahve to use one.
I also plan to intro bottles (like the super slow flow preemie ones from the hospital) within the first week and give a paci at the hospital because neither of these things confused DS and both saved my sanity.
tl;dr: nipple shields are the bomb and some hospital lactation consultants are the most amazing ever.
1) I originally used Lansinoh as nipple cream, never worked. I switched to Earth Mama, and a world of a difference, within days the pain went away. I got the advice from my Aug BMB.
2) Have a 1:1 lactation consultant appointment. The one on one attention was great, and she was able to coach me through two feeds, and from then on, DD latched and drank away.
3) When storing breastmilk, I used the Lansinoh bags, they can freeze flat, save so much room in your freezer!
I bought a breast pump with my first child and that thing was so slow. I really despised pumping so I tried renting a hospital grade pump with my second child. Best decision I ever made. I could pump the same amount of milk in half the time. Insurance covered the price of the rental so it worked out really well for us.
DS: March 2014
DD: May 2015
BFP: 12/24/17 CP: 1/2/18 @ 4w 3d
BFP: 1/26/18 CP: 2/2/18 @ 4w 4d
BFP: 5/16/18 MMC: 6/15/18 @ 7w 5d
BFP: 9/25/18! EDD: 6/9/19 TEAM GREEN
With my son it hurt so bad at the beginning. I thought my nipples would be tough because I had nursed my daughter so long, but I was wrong. After a couple weeks the pain went away and everything was easy. I nursed him the same amount of time because mom guilt.
I plan on nursing this time. I will say it is way easier when you stay at home and don’t have to wash pump parts everyday. My best friend did formula right away both times and her kids are amazing and it was way better for her mental health.
advice I want to pass on: I was FF and figured I’d FF my DS. But when I couldn’t make BF work, I was sad at my failure. It’s okay to be sad if you chose formula, but keep telling yourself fed is best.
There is a Spectra S2 which does NOT have the chargeable battery, just FYI. I had a friend accidentally get the wrong one and kicked herself. Insurance covered the Spectra 2.
Spectra S1
@tuxielove93 agree with so much that you wrote. I co-slept a bit too. I'd put her to sleep in the bassinet next to me, but eventually pull her into bed when time to nurse, and then I'd doze back off letting her nurse. I also followed a lot of the same precautions, especially with the pillow. I was terrified of pillows when she was on the bed. I slept better, she slept better. I am glad there are so many warnings given about co-sleeping because it should not be taken lightly, it can be very dangerous when done wrong, but the dirty secret is a lot lot lot of moms wind up doing it, so it's good to share best practices so we can be safe.