Hellooooo! We made it back from Hawaii in one piece! I'm sure I missed a ton here. We are all super super jet lagged. DD slept horribly in Hawaii (not surprising), and therefore so did DH and I. She woke up ass early every day until our very last day there. Our flight didn't land until 10 pm last night so we didn't put her to bed until midnight. She slept in until 10:30am. I think it's going to be tough getting us all back on PST. The trip was great, the wedding was great, and it was definitely a lot easier than our trip for BIL's wedding. I could have used another day in Honolulu to just eat things, but it was also really nice to sleep in my own bed last night.
Also FFWC: I ate sushi and 3 hot dogs (on separate occasions) while we were in Hawaii and didn't get sick. DH was scandalized. I wasn't worried.
My MIL reached for my belly and I auto slapped her hand away lol she looked at me like I killed her cat 😂 I told her the baby isn't even above my pubic bone at this point (don't know if that's accurate) and I don't need her grabbing my fat. She just said oh and gave me a hug.
@peachy13 I shared a video of me and DS on a carousel and someone who knows said "your video ALMOST hid your bump". Like WOW, I was barely 9 weeks at the time, there's no aggressive bump, thanks. You can definitely see something even before I've eaten if I'm wearing tight clothing but I was not that day and was pretty offended.
@mrskoz428 I think bump touchers are so weird. It is not okay in normal life for you to touch my stomach, it is even more not okay now when you're trying to touch my baby, GET OFF. No one has ever actually tried that with me though, I think I have a "don't touch me" face
@DuchessOfCambridge nobody ever tried to touch my bump either. I don't know, maybe it would've made me uncomfortable, but when baby was kicking all the time I kind of wanted others to feel it too. It was the high light of my day and I wanted to share it. But I never offered and I might have RBF that I'm not aware of because no one tried even once. At this point I'd look at them like they had 50 heads, but later on probably less.
I can't stand belly touchers. When I was pregnant with DS my friend kept coming up to me at our mutual friends wedding. She was drunk and was like belly grab assaulting me all night and I finally lost my patience and told her not as politely as I normally would to stop. I was so annoyed with her.
Does anyone else just not have an appetite? I just don't feel hungry.
So i think ds is getting jealous of me putting baby stuff around the house. He climbed up into the bouncey seat to watch tv 😂
Pregnancy #1 DD 08.30.2007 Pregnancy #2 Natural Miscarriage at 6 weeks 03/2014 Due date 11/9/2014 Pregnancy #3 DS 02.23.2015 Pregnancy #4 Missed Miscarriage at 11 weeks 11/2018 Due date 5/22/2019 Pregnancy #5 Positive test 12/11/2019 Due Date 8/17/2020
@psychobutthead I have no appetite at all. But I also think that I had a stomach virus since Monday. I have not been able to keep much of anything down for days. Thankfully though I have not had any fevers.
@psychobutthead oh for sure. My appetite is all over the map but on my bad days (which seem like every other day), I just don't want anything.
Does anyone watch Married at First Sight? SPOILER ALERT for the latest season, but Bobby and Danielle just announced they were having a baby! They were my fav couple of the season. Tristan and Mia are already divorced I believe, and I would guess that Dave and Amber are next.
Me: 33 DH: 34 Married: Oct 2015 TTC #1: Sept 2016 BFP: 10/19/16 ~ blighted ovum ~ D&C 11/23/16 BFP: 3/24/17 DD1 born 12/2/17 TTC #2: July 2018 BFP: 8/26/18 DD2 born 5/16/19
@eatinwatermelonseeds friends would ask and I offered to some because I knew they wanted to but didn't want to ask and that was okay. I don't mind being touched if I say you can touch me. It's the without asking. Like, that's assault to me.
@journey721 I don't get the belly rubbing, I just never did it, but I did rest my hands on my bump all the time because it was like a little table and I didn't know what else to do
Question: now that I've gotten the stupid test over with, I'm looking for a job. I am just so weary about how to handle my pregnancy to a potential employer. I'm applying to mainly clinics (one in particular is a fertility clinic and omg I've never wanted a job more) so I don't question my ability to do the job at all. But do I tell them in the interview? It's not something I want to withhold. I'm certainly not early enough to be like "oops, I didn't know" sure, I had no idea I was in my second trimester 🙄 I don't know, tips, opinions?
@eatinwatermelonseeds I would tell them once an offer has been made. If you tell them during the interview they may find another reason why they don’t like you when really they don’t want to hire someone who is pregnant.
Ivy: July 2010 | Stella: Dec 2012 | BFP#3: MMC at 11Wk's, July 2017 | Wyatt: April 2019 | BFP#5: Twin Girls due Sept 2020
@eatinwatermelonseeds You're under no obligation to disclose that information. Now if you get offered a job, you could always choose to tell them before accepting and say "I definitely want to accept, but before I do I think I should share this info", if you really feel like you should. Because at that point if they rescind it would solely be because you were pregnant, which technically I don't think they can do...
I agree with @robyn2201@eatinwatermelonseeds . Telling them in the interview gives them an easy out, too easy. I get why you want to disclose, I struggle with that too, but in this case I think its best to wait until the job is securely received. They'll understand why you waited to tell, you're certainly not the first. Also, with maternity leave as it is in the U.S. I personally don't see it as that big of a deal. You'll only be gone a few months and then back at it. When I got pregnant with DD2 someone suggested that I should have gone back to work so that I could qualify for mat leave again (I'm in Canada). I know its legal and plenty of people do it, but it really felt dishonest to me to take a full-time position without disclosing my pregnancy when I knew full well that I would be taking a year maternity leave in 7ish months. A year is a lot to cover and I wouldn't have felt I really put my time in to deserve it. Now I really enjoy being a SAHM and I have a hard time wrapping my head around the mere thought of going back into the workforce. I'll need something once all the kids are in school, but I have a few more years to figure out exactly what that will be and how we'll work it into our lives.
First congrats on passing your exam @eatinwatermelonseeds! I would not bring it up. In my state it’s illegal for them to ask even if you are 9 months pregnant. Not sure if that’s everywhere or not?
@eatinwatermelonseedsHonestly, I wouldn't tell them until I was hired and started working. Not hiring based on pregnancy is illegal but companies can be really good at getting around that. Granted, I don't know about the hospital industry as I've only worked in finance but my policy is to always look out for me because no one else will. It's not ideal, but people procreate and they just have to get over it. I'm starting nursing school in January and won't be telling them until I've been accepted and everything is registered and good to go. I know it will impact clinicals but a few of the info sessions for different schools mentioned women dropping out of programs due to pregnancy. We purposely planned it this way so this baby will be due after finals and then I'll have the summer to recover. Clinical might be rough pregnant but it is what it is! I want to have my cake and eat it too!
Anyway, that's my two cents. I'm always in the camp of look out for yourself first and foremost.
@eatinwatermelonseeds I would discuss at the job offer as others have said. If you're in the U.S., I'd discuss adding FMLA coverage for the 12 weeks into the job offer since you need to be at the same employer for a year before being eligible.
@eatinwatermelonseeds I agree with everyone else about including it after the offer, and definitely about the FMLA, because they don't have to hold your job while you're on leave (or even give you leave) otherwise.
I interviewed for a job while I was about 8 mos pregnant with DD1, but I'm overweight and wore a blazer over a loose blouse, so if you didn't know me, you couldn't really tell. The interview went well, and I told the interview team right at the end because I felt like I was tricking/misleading them otherwise. I did not receive an offer, and I will always wonder if I would have if I hadn't told them I was pregnant.
@brie_and_almonds thank you for sharing that. I really want this job. I shouldn't be putting all my eggs in one basket, but a fertility clinic?! Ugh it just is so up my alley. How exactly would you approach the FMLA topic?
@eatinwatermelonseeds I don't know if they would call it FMLA, or if they would just agree to allowing you to take maternity leave without FMLA, but I would bring that up if they offer you a job if it would make a difference to you... like, if they told you you couldn't take maternity leave, would you still take the job?
I imagine it would go something like this "I would love to accept your offer, however I feel it's important that I disclose that I am xyz weeks pregnant, and I would like to discuss your maternity leave policy before formally accepting." It may be a non-issue if they offer good maternity leave anyway. Is there any way you could find that out beforehand? I'm a teacher, so all of our contracts are public information, so it's probably different.
I'm sitting on the couch fighting back the urge to cry because I'm so SO tired. I was up at 5:30 this morning, worked 7-3 with my preschoolers, came home, tried to nap while my girls watched TV but DD2 wouldn't stop kicking me and laughing about it, and I have to be back at work in a half hour for parent/teacher conferences. Also I'm starving but everything makes me gag. So I'm stupid tired, hangry, and pukey but have to go chat with parents all night. I'm going to ugly cry.
@imrachellea ugh. I'm sorry. I hope you feel better before you have to go in. I was on the other end of parent teacher conferences today. But that's a ton less stressful as I'm only talking about one kid with one teacher.
@eatinwatermelonseeds Yay! Congratulations!! That is so awesome to hear all your hard work paid off! You even passed while dealing with 1st tri nausea! (hopefully this gif posted. Why am I so challenged?!) I agree with @brie_and_almonds about how to present the issue. If you're their top candidate, then they probably won't mind waiting the 12 weeks extra until you start, especially since you're having a baby (literally what they are trying to make happen every day!) Their reaction can also give you insight into whether you want to work for them - remember that you're interviewing them, too. If a fertility clinic has a crappy reaction to your disclosure that you're pregnant and need for family leave, it may be a good sign to move to another offer.
Re: Weekly Randoms 22.10
Also FFWC: I ate sushi and 3 hot dogs (on separate occasions) while we were in Hawaii and didn't get sick. DH was scandalized. I wasn't worried.
@eatinwatermelonseeds Yayyyy! Congratulations!!!!! That’s so awesome!
@beccaneu that's a shitty move on your mom's part and I'm sorry she can't see it from your perspective.
@mrskoz428 I would be mortified.
My MIL reached for my belly and I auto slapped her hand away lol she looked at me like I killed her cat 😂 I told her the baby isn't even above my pubic bone at this point (don't know if that's accurate) and I don't need her grabbing my fat. She just said oh and gave me a hug.
Married 8/16/13
BFP#1 DS 11/13/16
BFP# 2 MMC dx @ 13w 10/30/18
BFP# 3 Preemie DD born at 38w (IUGR) on 8/28/19 weighing 5.5lbs. Our little miracle
Married: Oct 2015
TTC #1: Sept 2016
BFP: 10/19/16 ~ blighted ovum ~ D&C 11/23/16
BFP: 3/24/17
TTC #2: July 2018
BFP: 8/26/18
@mrskoz428 I think bump touchers are so weird. It is not okay in normal life for you to touch my stomach, it is even more not okay now when you're trying to touch my baby, GET OFF. No one has ever actually tried that with me though, I think I have a "don't touch me" face
kept coming up to me at our mutual friends wedding. She was drunk and was like belly grab assaulting me all night and I finally lost my patience and told her not as politely as I normally would to stop. I was so annoyed with her.
I'm back from having the black plague. Coughed so hard I threw up this morning, so that was a first. Trying to be productive at work now
So i think ds is getting jealous of me putting baby stuff around the house. He climbed up into the bouncey seat to watch tv 😂
Pregnancy #2 Natural Miscarriage at 6 weeks 03/2014 Due date 11/9/2014
Pregnancy #3 DS 02.23.2015
Pregnancy #4 Missed Miscarriage at 11 weeks 11/2018 Due date 5/22/2019
Pregnancy #5 Positive test 12/11/2019 Due Date 8/17/2020
Married: 8/10/13
BFP- 12/18/15, D&E- 4/8/16 @ 21w5d- confirmed Thanatophoric Dysplasia
BFP- 11/7/17, M/C- 11/18/17 @ 4w6d
BFP- 8/25/18 ~ EDD- 5/9/19 ~ DD born 5/2/20 *Lillian Hazel*
BFP- 10/9/20 ~ EDD- 6/21/21
Does anyone watch Married at First Sight? SPOILER ALERT for the latest season, but Bobby and Danielle just announced they were having a baby! They were my fav couple of the season. Tristan and Mia are already divorced I believe, and I would guess that Dave and Amber are next.
Married: Oct 2015
TTC #1: Sept 2016
BFP: 10/19/16 ~ blighted ovum ~ D&C 11/23/16
BFP: 3/24/17
TTC #2: July 2018
BFP: 8/26/18
@journey721 I don't get the belly rubbing, I just never did it, but I did rest my hands on my bump all the time because it was like a little table and I didn't know what else to do
Married: 8/10/13
BFP- 12/18/15, D&E- 4/8/16 @ 21w5d- confirmed Thanatophoric Dysplasia
BFP- 11/7/17, M/C- 11/18/17 @ 4w6d
BFP- 8/25/18 ~ EDD- 5/9/19 ~ DD born 5/2/20 *Lillian Hazel*
BFP- 10/9/20 ~ EDD- 6/21/21
Now I really enjoy being a SAHM and I have a hard time wrapping my head around the mere thought of going back into the workforce. I'll need something once all the kids are in school, but I have a few more years to figure out exactly what that will be and how we'll work it into our lives.
Anyway, that's my two cents. I'm always in the camp of look out for yourself first and foremost.
Well, my unofficial results came out, and after already seeing my active license it's a bit anticlimactic 😂 it's nice to see it though. Pass.
I interviewed for a job while I was about 8 mos pregnant with DD1, but I'm overweight and wore a blazer over a loose blouse, so if you didn't know me, you couldn't really tell. The interview went well, and I told the interview team right at the end because I felt like I was tricking/misleading them otherwise. I did not receive an offer, and I will always wonder if I would have if I hadn't told them I was pregnant.
I imagine it would go something like this "I would love to accept your offer, however I feel it's important that I disclose that I am xyz weeks pregnant, and I would like to discuss your maternity leave policy before formally accepting." It may be a non-issue if they offer good maternity leave anyway. Is there any way you could find that out beforehand? I'm a teacher, so all of our contracts are public information, so it's probably different.
(hopefully this gif posted. Why am I so challenged?!)
I agree with @brie_and_almonds about how to present the issue. If you're their top candidate, then they probably won't mind waiting the 12 weeks extra until you start, especially since you're having a baby (literally what they are trying to make happen every day!) Their reaction can also give you insight into whether you want to work for them - remember that you're interviewing them, too. If a fertility clinic has a crappy reaction to your disclosure that you're pregnant and need for family leave, it may be a good sign to move to another offer.