@eleven_ I’m so happy to hear about the good ultrasound!
I’m not quite there yet where I feel for sure like this pregnancy will last, but I have had a few quick moments when I think “wow, I should actually start preparing for a baby.” But I haven’t really let myself think that far ahead yet.
@elliecele17 decided to wait until my US tomorrow to make sure everything is OK so then I need to get a refill. I’m definitely asking if we are good to go, will let you know why I find out.
I feel the same about all the losses. It starts making me second guess everything. When I saw some brown spotting this morning I thought it was over.
I’m not sure I can open the spotting group anymore after today’s good news. I can’t take another downward spiral in my emotions. Which sounds so selfish, but I’m a tense ball of anxiety everyday without reading all the sad posts.
Each day that goes by, I get more invested with this baby and this BMB.
@meatballs37 I was so, so happy to see your update. I'm feeling the same way you are. I want to offer support to those suffering losses, but I'm not sure that it won't make me spiral. Also, as I haven't had spotting with this pregnancy, I feel that I'd be intruding by even opening that thread because I don't belong there. My heart goes out to those ladies.
I just got an e-mail saying that my first u/s will be on November 6, which seems so far away. I'll be 6w5d by then and part of me wants to push for a closer date, but I'm sure I won't get it. At least this way, it will be definitive.
I think I may need to take a break from that thread as well. I mentioned elsewhere I had a very vivid dream last night, *TW* I honestly woke up not knowing if it was real or not but I had a MC and it was awful *end TW* I want to be supportive bc I know first hand (from my DDs pregnancy) spotting doesn’t mean the end but my anxiety is so high today. I just want to be able to enjoy this pregnancy and my PGAL brain is taking all of that away.
I'm really torn on this I want to support people who are having a hard time and I especially want to support anyone on this thread who is having spotting. However, spotting is really triggering for me. So I'm not sure what to do.
The losses are really throwing me off too. I feel so heartbroken for them and feel so selfish having to step away. I’m still not at a place where I feel like this is going to be a take home baby. I wish I could be and honestly I don’t know if I’ll ever be. I never got there with DD. It wasn’t until I heard her first cry that I realized she was coming home with me. That sounds insane but I kept telling myself there are no guarantees until baby is in your arms.
@carleym93 I feel the same way. My last loss was in third trimester, so I won't feel safe until the baby is in my arms. It's so hard to not be scared. I feel the same as you ladies. I want to be supportive of those going through spotting/losses/etc but it just makes me scared for me too. I am still 8 days from my u/s and I have no idea what's going on in my body right now. It's terrifying.
I think all these feelings are valid. This is not a fun place to be in the and while being supportive is important, taking care of ourselves is top priority.
I had felt like maybe once I heard/saw there was a HB that I would be okay. Now that it's getting closer (still a week away) I just don't feel like that is going to do it. I want this all to be real but how can I accept that?. Honestly, DH and I rarely talk about the pregnancy at all. It's so different when you're just waiting with bated breath to see how it all plays out.
@prpl11butterfly DH and I rarely talk about this pregnancy either, which is why I’m so thankful for this community bc otherwise I’d be insane! I am glad to know I’m not the only one struggling with providing support and maintaining my own anxiety/health. I don’t want to be selfish bc as a STM who has had 3 pregnancies (all different in symptoms/feelings) I feel like I have things to contribute to some conversations. I guess I’ll do what I can and provide support when I can. 🤗
@bakerstreetboys I'm so sorry. Are you going to call your RE? Eta: just saw your post in the other thread. I hope everything is okay with LO. Keep us updated. I'll be thinking of you
TW
Me: 33 DH: 32 DS: March 2014 DD: May 2015 BFP: 12/24/17 CP: 1/2/18 @ 4w 3d BFP: 1/26/18 CP: 2/2/18 @ 4w 4d BFP: 5/16/18 MMC: 6/15/18 @ 7w 5d BFP: 9/25/18! EDD: 6/9/19 TEAM GREEN
I just want to chime in that @Meatballs37 I was so happy to see that everything is okay! @bakerstreetboys I saw your post in the spotting thread and am pulling for you and hoping it turns out to be nothing. So many fingers crossed.
Oh gosh @bakerstreetboys I’m so sorry you’re spotting. Take care of yourself. *creepy internet hugs*
For everyone who is torn between supporting others and taking care of yourselves: take care of yourself. It’s ok if you can’t support people who are spotting. I bet you can support people in other areas. Its ok to allow yourself time away from something triggering. *more creepy internet hugs*
@eleven_ I’m so happy for you! graduating from the RE is big news.
@meatballs37 what a relief to see one baby with a good HB on there. Yay!
To everyone else saying the spotting thread is triggering, I’m so glad that I’m not the only one feeling conflicted. I want to be supportive, but the more I look at it and see losses, the more anxious I feel. I think we all just have to do what we feel good about. My old boss told me today, it’s time for you to be selfish. I think that’s hard for many women, but right now you have to be your first priority because baby depends on you.
I feel so lucky to have a great group like this to confide in.
I’m wondering if its worth keeping the spotting thread just for support and updates and making a seperate loss thread. Then those who are going through losses have a designated safe space and those who are spotting can just offer/receive support. I feel horrible that so many losses on the spotting thread didn’t actually have spotting they just “didn’t know where else to post.”
It also feels kind of gross when you're posting something positive to one person and offering condolences to another.
However, I was on the May BMB which is set up the same way. As a loss poster, it was kind of nice because you didn't have to post a one off and advertise your loss to the entire board. Presumably, the only people to see it were the ones who were already offering support. So IDK.
Also, I'm pretty proud of myself for holding in the snark regarding a certain post in this thread. I'm sorry, who are you, and why are you posting here? Find another board for your second trimester
Re: PGAL 10/17
I’m not quite there yet where I feel for sure like this pregnancy will last, but I have had a few quick moments when I think “wow, I should actually start preparing for a baby.” But I haven’t really let myself think that far ahead yet.
DS: March 2014
DD: May 2015
BFP: 12/24/17 CP: 1/2/18 @ 4w 3d
BFP: 1/26/18 CP: 2/2/18 @ 4w 4d
BFP: 5/16/18 MMC: 6/15/18 @ 7w 5d
BFP: 9/25/18! EDD: 6/9/19 TEAM GREEN
I have my first appointment today (I am 5w+1d). I have been trying to shut down any anxiety but I am a wreck today.
Just looking for some good vibes. And sending out the same to you all.
DS: March 2014
DD: May 2015
BFP: 12/24/17 CP: 1/2/18 @ 4w 3d
BFP: 1/26/18 CP: 2/2/18 @ 4w 4d
BFP: 5/16/18 MMC: 6/15/18 @ 7w 5d
BFP: 9/25/18! EDD: 6/9/19 TEAM GREEN
I’m not sure I can open the spotting group anymore after today’s good news. I can’t take another downward spiral in my emotions. Which sounds so selfish, but I’m a tense ball of anxiety everyday without reading all the sad posts.
Each day that goes by, I get more invested with this baby and this BMB.
@meatballs37 I was so, so happy to see your update. I'm feeling the same way you are. I want to offer support to those suffering losses, but I'm not sure that it won't make me spiral. Also, as I haven't had spotting with this pregnancy, I feel that I'd be intruding by even opening that thread because I don't belong there. My heart goes out to those ladies.
I just got an e-mail saying that my first u/s will be on November 6, which seems so far away. I'll be 6w5d by then and part of me wants to push for a closer date, but I'm sure I won't get it. At least this way, it will be definitive.
DS: March 2014
DD: May 2015
BFP: 12/24/17 CP: 1/2/18 @ 4w 3d
BFP: 1/26/18 CP: 2/2/18 @ 4w 4d
BFP: 5/16/18 MMC: 6/15/18 @ 7w 5d
BFP: 9/25/18! EDD: 6/9/19 TEAM GREEN
I had felt like maybe once I heard/saw there was a HB that I would be okay. Now that it's getting closer (still a week away) I just don't feel like that is going to do it. I want this all to be real but how can I accept that?. Honestly, DH and I rarely talk about the pregnancy at all. It's so different when you're just waiting with bated breath to see how it all plays out.
I am glad to know I’m not the only one struggling with providing support and maintaining my own anxiety/health. I don’t want to be selfish bc as a STM who has had 3 pregnancies (all different in symptoms/feelings) I feel like I have things to contribute to some conversations. I guess I’ll do what I can and provide support when I can. 🤗
ETA- I am sorry. I know we both know it normal but it doesn’t help in the moment. All the hugs and creepy internet support
no 😔 I hope it’s nothing.
Eta: just saw your post in the other thread. I hope everything is okay with LO. Keep us updated. I'll be thinking of you
DS: March 2014
DD: May 2015
BFP: 12/24/17 CP: 1/2/18 @ 4w 3d
BFP: 1/26/18 CP: 2/2/18 @ 4w 4d
BFP: 5/16/18 MMC: 6/15/18 @ 7w 5d
BFP: 9/25/18! EDD: 6/9/19 TEAM GREEN
For everyone who is torn between supporting others and taking care of yourselves: take care of yourself. It’s ok if you can’t support people who are spotting. I bet you can support people in other areas. Its ok to allow yourself time away from something triggering. *more creepy internet hugs*
@meatballs37 what a relief to see one baby with a good HB on there. Yay!
To everyone else saying the spotting thread is triggering, I’m so glad that I’m not the only one feeling conflicted. I want to be supportive, but the more I look at it and see losses, the more anxious I feel. I think we all just have to do what we feel good about. My old boss told me today, it’s time for you to be selfish. I think that’s hard for many women, but right now you have to be your first priority because baby depends on you.
I feel so lucky to have a great group like this to confide in.
However, I was on the May BMB which is set up the same way. As a loss poster, it was kind of nice because you didn't have to post a one off and advertise your loss to the entire board. Presumably, the only people to see it were the ones who were already offering support. So IDK.