Pregnant and Working - Page 6 — The Bump
March 2019 Moms

Pregnant and Working

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Re: Pregnant and Working

  • Also- that kind of meeting run-over time is outrageous and extremely inconsiderate to everyone. Worth bringing up separately,  IMO.
    I know, right?!?! I used an example that stood out because it was SO BAD. But in reality this happens on a smaller level all the time. He's well known for this. Our weekly team meetings that are scheduled for one hour never last less than two hours, and our "15 minute team check ins" that happen twice a week usually go at least 45 min. Funny story about the "15 minute check ins" ... they're standing meetings (we stand around the table instead of sitting down) because someone forever ago suggested it as a way to keep everyone's comments brief. Since I've been obviously pregnant I sit down after 15 minutes -- sometimes because I'm uncomfortable, sometimes just because I want to, lol!
    mamakate1616
  • @JLaVO888 It’s been rough coming back! My kids’ behavior has not been great. This week we had a 4 day week, a 2 hour late start due to weather, a 2 hour early out due to weather, and I got a new student with less than 24 hours notice. 🙄 I love this class, but I am counting down the weeks. My patience is definitely getting lower the closer I get. How have things been for you? 
  • @purpleteacher82 it’s been really rough for me too. Mentally and physically I think I’m just done at this point. My kids were great the first week back but we’ve had some crazy weather too which I think has contributed to some crazy behaviors this last week as well.

    Ughh I hate getting new kids! We don’t even get a heads up. They just show up with a kid at our door anytime of day-mid class. It’s such a pet peeve of mine. I heard on Friday one of my students was reenrolled after school. I had her for like a month and she left. I’m so bugged that I’ll probably get her back because I had just gotten her behaviors under control right when she left. Now I’m sure we will be back to square one and academically I haven’t had the whole year to catch her up so I’m sure she’s behind as well since she moves around so much.

    My really hard behavior kid tried to charge at me on Wednesday so I went to my principal and told her I wanted him out of my class for the rest of the day.  I never do that either (I feel like it takes the control and power away from me to take kids to the office) but I just couldn’t do it anymore that day. I was either going to end up defending myself to protect the baby and chucking him across the room or he was going to hurt me. 
  • @JLaVO888 You did the right thing by getting him out of your class. You should never be in that situation to feel like you have to defend yourself physically. I hope your leave starts sooner than later to give you a break from all the chaos. 
    TTC #1 since April 2015
    June 2016 - CP
    2017 - Medicated Cycles & IUI's
    IVF w/ PGS  - January 2018
    FET #1 - April 2018 - BFN
    ERA Cycle May / June 2018
    ERA Biopsy June 2018 ~ Results: receptive (no change)
    FET #2 - July 2018 - BFP <3 Beta #1 - 137 Beta #2 - 410
    U/S #1 7wk1d - HB 144 U/S #2 9w1d HB 166
    Anatomy Scan 1st 11/2/18 2nd AS 11/19
    EDD March 28, 2019
    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker



    ashley14598
  • @JLaVO888 I would have done the same thing. You should not be put in danger especially while pregnant. I’m sorry you are having to deal with that this year. I hope the rest of your time goes quickly and smoothly. Remind me, are you taking the rest of the year off or do you plan to go back this school year? 
  • Yeah it’s so different when you’re pregnant. Normally I wouldn’t blink twice at a 7 year old getting a little aggressive but his head is right at the same level as my belly. Makes me so much more vulnerable. 

    @purpleteacher82 I’m taking the rest of it off. I get 12 weeks and from my due date to the end is 10 so even if I deliver a tad early I’ll be good to take it all off. I’m due the Monday of spring break. With dd I was due the Wed of spring break haha. 

    You?
  • @JLaVO888 Also planning to take the rest of the year if this little guy comes on time or not too much earlier than his due date. I’m due on the Sunday at the end of Spring Break. 🙂 I can take up to 12 weeks too, but only 6 weeks paid. So if he comes too much earlier I’m not sure we can afford it. 
  • Count me in the "over it" category. Work has been really busy ever since I found out I was pregnant and I have lost the motivation to care anymore. I have one last big proposal to get off my plate and it has been like pulling teeth to get anything on paper! Plus I've been sick for the last month with a cold, sinus infection, and now UTI. I just want to curl up on the couch until it's time for baby to come.
    kbear28kapowfal
  • @JLaVO888 Also planning to take the rest of the year if this little guy comes on time or not too much earlier than his due date. I’m due on the Sunday at the end of Spring Break. 🙂 I can take up to 12 weeks too, but only 6 weeks paid. So if he comes too much earlier I’m not sure we can afford it. 
    It’s so hard to afford it. I only get paid for the days that I have sick and personal leave. Then I get FMLA pay for 6 weeks but that’s kind of a joke because it’s just a fraction of my usual pay. I also have to pay for all of our health insurance- the district will not pay their portion while I’m on leave. We can make it work but it’s going to be tight. It’s so annoying that they don’t take better care of us so we can take care of our babies. 
  • @gowenc I hear ya! It’s a real struggle to get through when you feel like ass. Hope you feel betterish soon. 
  • @purpleteacher82 @JLaVO888 I’m with you on being ready to be done! But, I have to make it to March 4 if I want to take off the rest of the school year. My due date is March 9 so I suppose it’s kinda unlikely I’ll make it all the way until then. My school district counts every day even planned days off for the district and spring break as part of the FMLA 12 weeks. I imagine I’m going to end up going back the last couple weeks of May which will be such a pain with pumping, finding childcare for 2 weeks, and of course I’ll be the one doing grades/progress reports when I haven’t even been there *eye roll*. Since it’s only my 2nd year with the district and I used all my sick leave with my last district before I left I only have 26 sick days built up. Luckily I have short term disability I can use to help us get through. It’ll be tight but I’m determined to make it work. 
  • @ashley14598 @JLaVO888 No short term disability or FMLA pay here. I can use up to 6 weeks of paid sick time (even though I have 10+ weeks saved up) and the rest is unpaid. I also have to pay for health insurance, etc. for the time I am gone. It’s expensive! Part of me was surprised that a profession that should understand the importance of maternity leave has such crappy policies for it. The bigger part of me is not at all
    surprised because that is being a teacher in a nutshell - being expexted to do the impossible while being given nothing. :end rant: 
  • @purpleteacher82 It angers me that it doesn’t surprise me. But I try not to digress down that slippery slope because it’s a deep hole of bull shit that sucks my will to continue with the profession if I focus on it too long. 
  • @JLaVO888 Same! I’ve been really good about not getting sucked into the negativity this year, so I am just going to focus on being grateful for the time I get. If all goes according to plan I won’t have to return to work until August when this little guy is about 5 months old, so I’m thankful for good pregnancy timing! 
  • @purpleteacher82 I’ve realized the hardest part is starting the week. I have such a hard time every Monday (this week Tuesday) getting back into the groove after I’ve tasted the sweet sweet life of sleeping in a tad and staying on my couch for a few days. I rally towards the middle of the week and then by Friday everything hurts and I’m done with it haha.

    I counted my total work days up until my due date and I only have 32 school days left!!! Then I just have to tell myself to take it one day at a time. 
    3rdtime_charmedlelkcot
  • @JLaVO888 Ah! I think it would freak me out to count the actual school days. We haven’t had school all week due to scheduled PD and 2 snow days, so I am trying to use my time off to get some things ready for maternity leave. 

    One day at a time is definitely the way to look at it. I’m also giving myself a lot of grace this year and just being okay with doing the best I can.  
  • @purpleteacher82 I’ve tried to be kind to myself too but it feels like I’ve been doing that for a few years now. Pregnant with DD, new mom, pregnant again. After three years of just letting my best be not exactly it’s best I’ve started feeling guilty. But I guess that’s just the stage of life I’m in now. I’d rather dedicate more of myself to my family right now and worry about being teacher of the year when... well I dk when haha. Someday. 
  • So my boss asked me today if I would be willing to travel to Europe in October. They are very family friendly, I didn’t feel any pressure from her, and this trip would be very good for my career. I know I could ask my mom to help with the kids while I was away, but I’m not sure if I will be ready to leave the baby by then.

    With my first, I didn’t travel for a whole year after she was born, because I didn’t want to disrupt our breastfeeding relationship. But it was a lot easier to opt out of traveling to conferences back when I was a student. 

    For ladies that travel for work, when do you plan to return to work travel? For STMs, how old was your baby when you took your first trip, and how did you deal with BF/pumping? Any suggestions/tips welcome! 
  • @maggiemadeit STM here and I think that would be a tough decision for me. With my first, we didn’t go away on a trip until I wasn’t BFing anymore and I BF her for 2 years. This time I’m being a little more lax about it. I am doing a two day relay in August. So I’ll have to figure out how to pump in the back of a van for two days, but I’m making myself more of a priority this time. 

    I say if it’s really important to you that you’ll make it work. Maybe someone else has advice for pumping while away from baby. I’d love to hear myself! 
    Dx: Non-IR PCOS
    Baby Girl K #1 Born 3/8/14
    Baby Girl K #2 EDD 3/3/19
  • I am flagging this so I can come back and respond re: pumping. I sent a whole long email to a coworker on how I handled pumping while traveling internationally for work. It has its challenges but it's not impossible.
  • @maggiemadeit I traveled for work first time when DS1 was 7 months. Our breastfeeding relationship unfortunately ended 2 weeks prior to that (pumping at work just to get enough for a single bottle after 3x30min sessions with a hospital-grade pump was not very rewarding, so I decided to stop and regain my sanity and my time lost). That said, I was never asked by my manager about pumping accommodations or anything like that before he scheduled the trip (he's had a son since, so I guess now he should be more aware, but I moved to a different team anyway).
    Regarding pumping while on a business trip, check if your company has any benefits with regards to transporting milk (shipping it or packing it for the flight). I know mine partners with Milk Stork, which is a company who provides such services. Worst case, you can pay for it out of pocket if you find that the price is worth the convenience. Hope it helps!
    novelblessings
  • govanalyst86govanalyst86 member
    10 Comments Name Dropper Photogenic
    edited January 25
    Love the breast-feeding advice from @maggiemadeit and @gowenc

    How have STM+ managed tying up projects for maternity leave? Handing them off to people? Putting them on hold? This is my first and it's up to me to manage and make arrangements. 

    Also if there are ladies who have been promoted just before due date, how did that work out? Were you glad you made the move? Any advice on managing a new role both at work and at home? 
  • @govanalyst86 I held a few knowledge-transfer sessions before going on leave, and it's funny but I actually sent a few emails in between contractions, wrapping things up at 3am after my water broke. I just couldn't go MIA without making sure everything is covered. 
    I'm hoping for a promotion this time around (there is a 50% chance or so), but like my manager is saying, you actually get promoted when you already perform at that level, so it's a natural transition. If it doesn't happen for you now, make sure to remind your manager when you return to work. I almost lost a promotion when I came back from leave because my manager at that time forgot that we discussed that, and was saying things like "there are people who advance quickly, and some who take things slowly, and it's ok for you to take things slowly". I went home, cried, then the next day actually took all my strength and asked for another meeting, and reminded him that he said it himself before I went on leave that if I "hit the ground running" when I came back, the promotion should be in my pocket. 
    govanalyst86meggymelelkcot
  • @gowenc @mihaelams1 Thanks for the travel tips! This is really helpful information. I was definitely worrying about how to pump and store milk, and how to get it back home. I will be going to Europe, so I can probably get a direct 6-7h flight, which will reduce some of the logistical issues. 
  • @maggiemadeit I can't chime in on the BF part, but I traveled for work 2 days after I got back from leave (DD1 was 2 months old) and it was AWFUL.  I missed her so much.  I traveled a lot the first year after she was born and took her with me whenever I could, but I've made a concerted effort to cut back since then. It's great that you're getting those opportunities to travel, though, especially when they're so great for your career!
  • mamakate1616mamakate1616 member
    500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments First Answer
    edited January 27
    @govanalyst86 I got promoted a little over a month ago and the team I inherited is so dysfunctional/poor performing I announced to my husband what a horrible mistake I had made after my first day.  :D however, it has gotten much better and fortunately my peers and superiors acknowledge what a shit show the group is (it is part of why they created the position for me in the first place) and are very supportive of my personal goings-on. 
    I have been working a TON of hours to keep up, which will offset the LWOP I had been planning on, but is a challenge with my 3 year old.
    I plan to telework part time for the majority of my maternity leave to keep my hand on the wheel & mitigate the learning curve when I come back. 
    I am a little uneasy about the return to work because of the bf/pumping & long hours situation plus we haven’t really had the talk with our childcare provider (MIL) about whether she is willing/able to take on an infant. 
    Sorry, I think that turned more into a rant than advice. I’d take some time and make a list of your projects, categorize them into what can wait for you to come back and what can’t, write out procedures/next steps for the ones that can’t wait, and if you have time also write procedures for the less important projects/duties. Once you have that captured it’s much easier to transfer it to someone else.  At the end of the day I find it’s best to have a “nothing to it but to do it” mentality. 
    Me: 30 DH: 31
    Married: 2012
    BFP #1 Sept 2014, MMC Dec 2014 | BFP #2 May 2015, DD Jan 2016 <3 | BFP #3 May 2017, MC July 2017 | BFP #4 Jan 2018, MC Feb 2018 | BFP #5 July 2018, fingers crossed
    govanalyst86kapowfal
  • @mamakate1616 thanks for sharing how it's been going. I decided to take the promotion so now I have about a month to transition what I can in my current position and begin to learn the new role. I'm confident I can do it and I like your perspective on getting to it. At work I always say it's eating an elephant one bite at a time! Thanks for sharing your experience and also thanks to @mihaelams1 for sharing hers.
    mamakate1616
  • I'm debating if I want to wait until I actually go into labor to start my maternity leave or start it on my due date. Either way I won't be returning to the same job/office so there will likely be some unpaid time at the end. I'm trying to decide if I'll be more miserable dealing with extra unpaid time or going to work well over my due date.
    ME: 31  DH: 31 DD: June '16 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
    **Ticker Warning**
    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker
  • @meggyme That’s actually a really close call but I think being miserable at work past my due date would be worse for me. With both pregnancies I planned to work only until my due date. 
  • @meggyme I’m planning on working until I actually go into labor because I’m only getting 3 weeks paid leave. For me, I would be more miserable not getting paid- although it’s a close call because I’m seriously hating work right now.
    kristimh80
  • @meggyme Both sounds miserable!! I'd probably use my due date...like PP said, just knowing your still working past your due date will make it worse. Plus you know either way you'll be missing some pay since you're not going back.

    My work actually interviewed someone today to take my place. Bittersweet b/c I love my work family, but also looking forward to a break.
    TTC #1 since April 2015
    June 2016 - CP
    2017 - Medicated Cycles & IUI's
    IVF w/ PGS  - January 2018
    FET #1 - April 2018 - BFN
    ERA Cycle May / June 2018
    ERA Biopsy June 2018 ~ Results: receptive (no change)
    FET #2 - July 2018 - BFP <3 Beta #1 - 137 Beta #2 - 410
    U/S #1 7wk1d - HB 144 U/S #2 9w1d HB 166
    Anatomy Scan 1st 11/2/18 2nd AS 11/19
    EDD March 28, 2019
    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker



  • @meggyme I’m working until I go into labor. It’s not what I want to do but I’m bored just during these snow days. I think I’d be bored waiting around at home for labor. 
    Dx: Non-IR PCOS
    Baby Girl K #1 Born 3/8/14
    Baby Girl K #2 EDD 3/3/19
  • @meggyme I’m planning to work until she arrives, but that’s because I’m a contractor and have zero maternity leave. So I figured I might as well work while I can.
    Ticker warning 


    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker

  • govanalyst86govanalyst86 member
    10 Comments Name Dropper Photogenic
    edited January 30
    I've been told that our FMLA gets kind of messy if we delay it - we and our doctors essentially have to resubmit everything 
  • I’m really debating if I want to take contract hours for next week. I’m so miserable and not sleeping, on the other hand, it might help distract me. We’ve been saving money so I don’t think I HAVE to work, but you never know what might happen. I know you ladies can’t really decide for me...

    Me: 36, DH 37.

    August 2014- 6w MMC

    July 2015- CP

    PCOS, plus some medical issues that make me high risk.

    Our rainbow babies are due 3/21!!!!!

  • @3rdtime_charmed could you take fewer hours than normal next week? That might be a good middle ground and if you're bored out of your mind you can pick it back up or stop taking them all together.
    ME: 31  DH: 31 DD: June '16 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
    **Ticker Warning**
    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker
  • I decided I'm going to stop working as of my due date. I worked right up until I went into labor last time (which was over a weekend, thankfully) but that last week or two was brutal. I was a week late. I have a decent enough amount of leave planned so I don't think I'll feel slighted at the end if I have one less week. They're not going to let me go past 41 weeks anyway.
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