Got asked this week if I would consider a position shift within the company. I'm not too proud to say I think it's crazy that while I'm already trying to think about where stuff should sit on my desk while I'm gone for about 8 weeks the company is trusting me to take on an entirely new role!
@catlady2015 so far so good. I'm in a office space that has the appropriate military internet requirements I need but is also next door to my contracting office. It's been weird because I don't have much work (out of sight out of mind I guess) and no one here really knows what I'm supposed to be doing so I've just kind of been doing a lot of random stuff for me. Baby registry, done. Friend's baby shower luncheon, planned. Centerpieces for upcoming formal event, organized.
Next week I'll have to drive to and from the base to go on a ship for stufff, so that'll be different but so far it's not bad. I do miss having the cafeteria on site though. Having to plan snacks and lunches or drive 15 minutes for food isn't fun.
DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
I told one of my bosses that I’m pregnant today, his response was pretty...terrible? It gets a 3 WTF rating from me.
“I thought you already told me that. Congrats, I guess, if that’s what you want...”
“What impact do you think this will have on your career?”
Me: 30 DH: 31 Married: 2012 BFP #1 Sept 2014, MMC Dec 2014 | BFP #2 May 2015, DD Jan 2016 | BFP #3 May 2017, MC July 2017 | BFP #4 Jan 2018, MC Feb 2018 | BFP #5 July 2018, fingers crossed
@mamakate1616 sounds like someone leaked your news. That or you’re hot gossip. The “effect on your career” is problematic since legally it shouldn’t have any effect aside from a few months away from work.
DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
@mamakate1616 That’s terrible. I’m sorry you had to sit through that. I’m with @meggyme he shouldn't be asking that, considering it shouldn’t have any effect on your career. Ugh.
@mamakate1616 That is totally ridiculous. No one would ever dream of asking a man how it would effect his career.
How do people think that the human race propagates? Magically? Someone needs to tell employers that the next generation of the workforce will be nonexistent if women don’t have babies...
I know right?!? I’m pissed on both counts. I know who leaked, my current team lead has a big fat mouth and has a history of doing it. Plus I have only told 5 other people in the building that he doesn’t interact with and they were all told (& understood) that I wasn’t publicly sharing yet. As far as the career piece, I was kind of shocked he said it. He’s got a rep for being very un-PC but not toward his staff. I told him I didn’t think it should have any impact whatsoever and that the second thing I wanted to talk to him about was that I was applying for a promotion in another branch.
Me: 30 DH: 31 Married: 2012 BFP #1 Sept 2014, MMC Dec 2014 | BFP #2 May 2015, DD Jan 2016 | BFP #3 May 2017, MC July 2017 | BFP #4 Jan 2018, MC Feb 2018 | BFP #5 July 2018, fingers crossed
What pisses me off about parental leave in the US is that it’s looked at as moms wanting a free education and not as parents giving the workers of tomorrow the best start at life that they can. A lot of men seem to think “I don’t get it so I shouldn’t have to pay for it” but realistically these are the people that will be taking over our jobs when we retire. Boys and girls that need strong immune systems, good social foundations and emotional support. All that starts now. How can companies be so family unfriendly when we are literally growing their future employees?!
DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
@meggyme I haven't chimed in much re: maternity/parental leave because I'm in Canada and we have very different views and rules surrounding these types of leave. It isn't really my place to comment on the system in the US. But what you just articulated above is exactly what I don't get about the attitude toward maternity leave in the US. How can employers and the government not understand the importance of this leave in the months after a baby is born? We're just sitting at home, nurturing the next generation here! Jeez. What could be more important in the early days / weeks / months (well, the first year, in Canada) of a baby's life? I am so grateful for the 12-18 months that I am able to take and cannot imagine going back to work when my baby is 4-6 weeks old. I was still sitting on a donut and cringing whenever I peed at that time! Ouch.
I totally agree that it is insane how maternity leave is looked at in the US. During my last pregnancy I had to take off 3-4 weeks early because of high blood pressure at the end and was told by a co-worker “oh I figured you were just at home watching TV” .... what?!? No I was in and out of the doctors office, hospital (non-stress tests), lab, getting ultrasounds each week, and peeing in a bottle for my 24 hr urine test. Once I had the baby I was taking care of my infant, learning to breastfeed, dealing with a major allergic reaction to a pain med, going to see my primary care doctor to get my blood pressure regulated after birth, and dealing with stitches [insert eye roll here]. And that comment came from a woman!!! I just don’t get the attitude that a maternity leave isn’t work and isn’t valued. It’s our health, our babies health, and our family health that is way more important to me than anything else.
My personal favorite is when people refer to maternity leave as “vacation”. It makes my blood boil. I want to say “you try recovering from a 3 day labor and c section, and then taking care of a screaming infant on no sleep for 8 weeks, all while bleeding and lactating, and then tell me if it was a vacation”!
@mamakate1616 Ugh, what a jerk! I'm glad you told him you were applying for a promotion at another branch. You don't need to have to be around his negative butt much longer. Best of luck to you!!! I hope you get the promotion fast!
TTC #1 since April 2015 June 2016 - CP 2017 - Medicated Cycles & IUI's IVF w/ PGS - January 2018 FET #1 - April 2018 - BFN ERA Cycle May / June 2018 ERA Biopsy June 2018 ~ Results: receptive (no change) FET #2 - July 2018 - BFP Beta #1 - 137 Beta #2 - 410 U/S #1 7wk1d - HB 144 U/S #2 9w1d HB 166 Anatomy Scan 1st 11/2/18 2nd AS 11/19 EDD March 28, 2019 Baby Girl born 3/26/19
I agree that people's perceptions about maternity leave are so stupid and sometimes downright offensive. Like how are there grown adults who have never known someone who has been through the newborn stage? Or somehow learned that yes, it is hard work and recovery is no joke? I know all this despite this being my first baby so I don't get it.
Anyway. I'd love to hear your thoughts on my situation. I was originally planning to leave my job permanently after baby arrives, because I've been in this high-stress job for the last 3 years and it was getting to be time for me to go anyway. But over the last few months a lot of things have changed at my workplace, so now it isn't just that it's a high-stress job, it's also dealing with incompetent people, really dumb drama, and just generally feeling embarrassed and irritated about being a part of this dysfunctional company. My team and my direct supervisor are all wonderful, but it's dealing with everything else! I wouldn't say it is a toxic environment but it isn't good for me emotionally and I do wonder how that is going to affect baby.
At this point I'm strongly considering either leaving early, maybe the beginning of the year if DH and I can manage it financially, which we are going to sit down and talk about soon. Or seeing if I can find a temporary position, maybe not even in my field, until baby's born. Have any of you done something like this before, and how did it go? Is this a crazy thing to do?? I'm torn between really wanting to leave, and feeling intimidated by job searching while pregnant...
@diaphena I'm sorry your situation has gotten worse. You could always job search now while you still have the job and see what is available. Perhaps you can find something that would keep you on through your maternity leave. You would have to negotiate that when you talk compensation since you won't be FMLA eligible. It never hurts to look and maybe talk to a few recruiters. There's no commitment if you choose to wait or take a period of time off.
DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
@kristimh80 thanks! I am looking forward to a change of “scenery” so hopefully it works out.
@meggyme have you ever considered a career change? You would make an excellent HR executive or adviser/advisor (tried to google the difference and both wiki definitions say what I mean) if you get tired of the boats and old men!
@diaphena I think you’re right to assess your financial footing before making a change. I have daydreamed about walking out and getting a random job many times (also have a rather stressful job that requires a lot of interaction with incompetent knuckleheads, and my immediate work group while highly competent is very negative/jaded/toxic) BUT at the end of the day I earn a salary that I like. Are there any “happy thoughts” you could use as a mantra to help keep your emotional state in a good place until you decide what direction to go? I have pictures of my daughter all over my cube and they help bring me back when I want to slap someone.
Me: 30 DH: 31 Married: 2012 BFP #1 Sept 2014, MMC Dec 2014 | BFP #2 May 2015, DD Jan 2016 | BFP #3 May 2017, MC July 2017 | BFP #4 Jan 2018, MC Feb 2018 | BFP #5 July 2018, fingers crossed
@mamakate1616 Thank you. I don't think I'd be able to deal with the BS stuff HR people deal with on a daily basis. I'm trying to break into management. I'm submitting my resume within my company in the hopes that they'll have an engineering project manager position open when/if we move to San Diego next summer. Since we move so often I haven't been able to stay with one company more than 3 years and companies that are going to hire first timers for something like that like to hire from within.
I don't mind the boats and I've learned to deal with the old men. I just don't want to have to go onboard and tell people how to operate the equipment they're supposed to be the operators of. I prefered the design work I did when I was working at the shipyard.
DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
@meggyme You're right. I can always look around without making any commitments. I'm pretty sure by resigning when baby is born, I'm messing up my FMLA chances anyway, but I need to talk to my HR rep to see if that's actually the case. I won't make any decisions until I'm sure about that.
@mamakate1616 Do we work in the same place? Lol. Yeah the finances are going to determine a lot of this decision. I work in a very underpaid field (public mental health system) so DH is pulling in the majority of our income, but my salary does make a difference especially with preparing for a baby, and for me being out of work for a while. The wisest thing financially is probably for me to stay here and power through it, but if there's another way to make things work, it may be worth it. In the meantime, I'll try to work on my coping skills.... I can't have family photos visible in my office for safety reasons but I could keep an album on my phone at least.
@diaphena FMLA is unpaid anyway, it only guarantees a certain about of leave and that they can't demote you during your absense. If you get any paid maternity leave or short term disability, then yes leaving would mess with that. Many short term disability policies also have a pre-existing condition clause of some kind, so if you switch to a company with a different STD policy you might not be eligible anymore.
You might find something that you can line up for after your leave is over. Having an escape plan in place might make it easier to power through the next couple months at your current job.
DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
@HoneyBear40 congrats on the new position! Sounds exciting! I'm in a similar situation - my agency is restructuring and they're creating a new team that I've been told I'll be moving to in January if everything goes through as anticipated. It's very exciting as I enjoy a new job every few years so it makes me want to stick around.
@mamakate1616 your boss sounds like a dummy. I hope you get the promotion!
@diaphena while I know staying in a crappy job is torture, my encouragement to you is don't leave until you have a logical career move that is in line with your long term goals. I have a friend who moved to a temp agency during her pregnancy because she just couldn't stand where she was, and she had an exceedingly difficult time getting back up to the earnings and level of position she was at before she made that move. Actually she didn't get out of the temp agency and just gave up a few months ago and decided to stay home. She loves being a full time mom now and I am sure that's what was right for her family, but it was a tough few years. That won't necessarily be what happens if you take a random job, but it can be a significant setback in terms of career. Good luck.
@meggyme congrats on getting out of mold city at work!
@govanalyst86 thanks. I've been here a week and they're still clearing off desks so they can spray at the other office. Not sure if the source of the problem (the air handlers) have really been addressed yet either. Oh well, I like it here. No traffic getting to work. I hope I get to stay awhile.
DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
@meggyme You're right. At my job now I'd have short term disability concurrently with my FMLA leave, so I tend to get them conflated.
@govanalyst86 I really appreciate your honest feedback about what happened with your friend. I need to remember to have a long-term focus and not get too short sighted about the problems I'm having now... Which are still temporary, regardless of whether I stay another 3 months or 6 months
Hey all, I'm looking for some advice. Firs the context then the question.
Yesterday at a meeting I led the Chief Information Officer at our agency had side conversations with one of his direct reports intermittently during the entire meeting. After the meeting I asked if there was anything I needed to be aware of that was being discussed, and someone said that this is a regular occurrence and that they address it through assigned seating.
Relations between my bureau and the CIO are already kind of tense and I'm concerned that treating them like children will worsen things (even if maybe they need to be scolded and separated).
I had the idea to approach it from a more light hearted perspective and say something along the lines of, "hey in case you didn't know I'm pregnant so don't make me mad." This meeting is all dudes- I don't know if that would give me more or less credibility, or if it would fix the behavior.
Have you played the pregnancy card at work? What was the context and did it do what you thought it would? What are your thoughts on my plan to play the pregnancy card?
@govanalyst86 they’ll likely blame that regardless, so it’s up to you if you’re comfortable doing it yourself. I’d just be cautious of it becoming a running joke and people not taking you seriously because of it.
Maybe a side conversation with each of them saying “it’s distracting and makes these meetings take longer”. Then if they don’t stop you can put them on the spot without them being able to say they weren’t warned.
DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
I have used the pregnancy card in cases where my performance has suffered - i.e., I've been nauseous or I haven't slept well, so I haven't been as on top of things as I usually am. It was to excuse my own behavior - not other people's. They were rude and disruptive, and that's on them - not you. I'd take a more direct approach and ask them to be more respectful next time.
@govanalyst86 This is a problem at my work as well. My boss likes to talk through all my presentations with his “boys club” members. At the start of each meeting we go over 5 norms, one of which is clearly “No sidebar conversations”. I circle the room during my presentations or their work time and use proximity to keep them on track—very teacher-management style. If nothing works I will repeat, “No sidebar conversations, please. This is important for everyone to hear.” Direct is best. It’s my own personal bias but I wouldn’t play the pregnancy card—I hate giving people with this bad behavior or attitudes any room to jump on stereotypes about the fairer/weaker sex.
@govanalyst86 I wouldn’t approach it that way just because it’s indirect. In the boys club, sometimes you have to think like a man, and they wouldn’t do it that way. He’s a top level executive, he should be settting an example, and he should be able to handle the feedback. But, he’s also clearly unprofessional, so I would ignore it, or address it straight on “I noticed you were talking to so and so through my presentation, do you have feedback for me?” Given that he sounds like a lost cause, I would probably ignore it, it likely wasn’t about you, but it sounds like a tough place to present.
[spoiler=TW in signature]
Me: 36, DH 37.
August 2014- 6w MMC
July 2015- CP
PCOS, plus some medical issues that make me high risk.
I emailed my HR department to make sure I knew the procedure of taking a maternity leave since I’m new to my school district (2nd year there). I got a very generic email back about vaginal devliveries getting 6 weeks and c-section getting 8 weeks. Also that if I wanted more time off with my infant/child to put in for a “absence without pay” request. Also that I have to use any sick/personal days to pay for my leave (which from the school districts I’ve worked in is pretty standard). Here’s where I’m confused/frustrated ... don’t we get 12 weeks by FMLA standards? If I am able to work up until my due date then I’ll only need an extra 4 weeks to cover until summer break. I really don’t want to have to find childcare/worry about pumping at work/the stress of going back to work if I don’t have to. I don’t expect to be paid for the time off (as I know that’s not standard in the US) but I thought that 12 weeks was pretty standard?
FMLA is only to legally reserve your job for you in the event of a medical absence, up to 12 weeks. So, technically you could still possibly qualify for FMLA but your employer is not obligated to pay you for any of that time, unfortunately
@ashley14598 You are correct that FMLA guarantees 12 weeks off. Unfortunately the law only says that new moms are entitled to that time unpaid. It only guarantees that you have a job when you return after a 12-week absence.
For so many of us in the US, we get 6 weeks of paid leave covered by Temporary Disability Insurance (TDI or SDI or STI). After that it’s unpaid time off unless you apply your sick/vacation to cover the rest of your remaining 12 weeks, and many places make you use your sick/vacation before the insurance can kick in.
It all absolutely sucks, I’m sorry. The good news in your case is that it sounds like you may have enough to cover your leave with sick/vacation until school lets out (if I read your post correctly).
@keikilove@mamaoftwomonkeys thanks!! I just wanted to make sure that I could take 12 weeks. I’ll have enough sick/personal time to cover all 6 weeks given for medical reasons and I only need to take an additional 4 weeks that I know will be unpaid (given no health problems throughout/at the end). I also have short term disability that I know will cover some of my leave (usually only 6 weeks for a vaginal delivery and 8 week C-section) and it’s only partial pay. I guess I just wanted to make sure I had the option to take up to 12 weeks according to FMLA regardless if it were paid or unpaid.
@ashley14598 they might have the rest of your maternity leave called something else like child bonding or child care leave. Typically the 6-8weeks is your recovery time and the rest is considered time with your child. At least that’s how they broke it up in CA (although you could start maternity leave a month before your due date. I miss being pregnant in CA...)
DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
@meggyme thanks! Sounds like the laws differ so much even from state to state! It’s crazy to me because last time my HR sat down with me went over everything (payroll, insurance, FMLA, all my options, etc) and this time they just sent a very generic email.
@ashley14598 I haven’t talked to HR yet, but what you described sounds exactly what my district does. (That’s what I’ve been told by others anyway.) I can use 6 weeks paid sick time (or 8 for C-section) and if I want to take more it has to be unpaid. I plan to take the rest of the year off, so I will have to figure out how to swing 4 weeks of no pay.
Ok ladies I need some advice. My boss has been very supportive about my pregnancy and very generous about taking time out of the office for appts and such. But when talking about my leave it has seems to taken a different turn. He has mentioned that I can still answer my work phone and check some emails after the first week or so (I get 12 weeks unpaid, nothing out of the ordinary) He also wants office help for when I leave. He isnt trained in my job and this is where its been getting strange. I'm considered a contract worker for a very large corporate energy company. Since I'm contract a full employee is not responsible for doing my job. Well everyone else in the office that is contract has stated they dont have time to cover my position. My contract company is my HR. I have spoke with them and they said we could hire someone no issue except my corportate company has to open the position, which my boss has to get ok'ed my his higher up. Now my boss is acting like this is my duty to set this all up and set up interviews to finds someone...
It's really causing me to stress out. I don't know many people from the area we have only lived here 3 years. How am I suppose to find someone to do my own job?? He is the manager. How do I handle this?
Re: Pregnant and Working
Married: 2016
BFP #1 4/23/18, blighted ovum 5/29/18
BFP#2 7/14/18, DS 4/5/19
Next week I'll have to drive to and from the base to go on a ship for stufff, so that'll be different but so far it's not bad. I do miss having the cafeteria on site though. Having to plan snacks and lunches or drive 15 minutes for food isn't fun.
“I thought you already told me that. Congrats, I guess, if that’s what you want...”
“What impact do you think this will have on your career?”
Married: 2012
BFP #1 Sept 2014, MMC Dec 2014 | BFP #2 May 2015, DD Jan 2016
How do people think that the human race propagates? Magically? Someone needs to tell employers that the next generation of the workforce will be nonexistent if women don’t have babies...
As far as the career piece, I was kind of shocked he said it. He’s got a rep for being very un-PC but not toward his staff. I told him I didn’t think it should have any impact whatsoever and that the second thing I wanted to talk to him about was that I was applying for a promotion in another branch.
Married: 2012
BFP #1 Sept 2014, MMC Dec 2014 | BFP #2 May 2015, DD Jan 2016
June 2016 - CP
2017 - Medicated Cycles & IUI's
IVF w/ PGS - January 2018
FET #1 - April 2018 - BFN
ERA Cycle May / June 2018
ERA Biopsy June 2018 ~ Results: receptive (no change)
FET #2 - July 2018 - BFP
U/S #1 7wk1d - HB 144 U/S #2 9w1d HB 166
Anatomy Scan 1st 11/2/18 2nd AS 11/19
EDD March 28, 2019
Baby Girl born 3/26/19
Anyway. I'd love to hear your thoughts on my situation. I was originally planning to leave my job permanently after baby arrives, because I've been in this high-stress job for the last 3 years and it was getting to be time for me to go anyway. But over the last few months a lot of things have changed at my workplace, so now it isn't just that it's a high-stress job, it's also dealing with incompetent people, really dumb drama, and just generally feeling embarrassed and irritated about being a part of this dysfunctional company. My team and my direct supervisor are all wonderful, but it's dealing with everything else! I wouldn't say it is a toxic environment but it isn't good for me emotionally and I do wonder how that is going to affect baby.
At this point I'm strongly considering either leaving early, maybe the beginning of the year if DH and I can manage it financially, which we are going to sit down and talk about soon. Or seeing if I can find a temporary position, maybe not even in my field, until baby's born. Have any of you done something like this before, and how did it go? Is this a crazy thing to do?? I'm torn between really wanting to leave, and feeling intimidated by job searching while pregnant...
@meggyme have you ever considered a career change? You would make an excellent HR executive or adviser/advisor (tried to google the difference and both wiki definitions say what I mean) if you get tired of the boats and old men!
@diaphena I think you’re right to assess your financial footing before making a change. I have daydreamed about walking out and getting a random job many times (also have a rather stressful job that requires a lot of interaction with incompetent knuckleheads, and my immediate work group while highly competent is very negative/jaded/toxic) BUT at the end of the day I earn a salary that I like. Are there any “happy thoughts” you could use as a mantra to help keep your emotional state in a good place until you decide what direction to go? I have pictures of my daughter all over my cube and they help bring me back when I want to slap someone.
Married: 2012
BFP #1 Sept 2014, MMC Dec 2014 | BFP #2 May 2015, DD Jan 2016
I don't mind the boats and I've learned to deal with the old men. I just don't want to have to go onboard and tell people how to operate the equipment they're supposed to be the operators of. I prefered the design work I did when I was working at the shipyard.
@mamakate1616 Do we work in the same place? Lol. Yeah the finances are going to determine a lot of this decision. I work in a very underpaid field (public mental health system) so DH is pulling in the majority of our income, but my salary does make a difference especially with preparing for a baby, and for me being out of work for a while. The wisest thing financially is probably for me to stay here and power through it, but if there's another way to make things work, it may be worth it. In the meantime, I'll try to work on my coping skills.... I can't have family photos visible in my office for safety reasons but I could keep an album on my phone at least.
Thank you both for your responses
You might find something that you can line up for after your leave is over. Having an escape plan in place might make it easier to power through the next couple months at your current job.
@mamakate1616 your boss sounds like a dummy. I hope you get the promotion!
@diaphena while I know staying in a crappy job is torture, my encouragement to you is don't leave until you have a logical career move that is in line with your long term goals. I have a friend who moved to a temp agency during her pregnancy because she just couldn't stand where she was, and she had an exceedingly difficult time getting back up to the earnings and level of position she was at before she made that move. Actually she didn't get out of the temp agency and just gave up a few months ago and decided to stay home. She loves being a full time mom now and I am sure that's what was right for her family, but it was a tough few years. That won't necessarily be what happens if you take a random job, but it can be a significant setback in terms of career. Good luck.
@meggyme congrats on getting out of mold city at work!
@govanalyst86 I really appreciate your honest feedback about what happened with your friend. I need to remember to have a long-term focus and not get too short sighted about the problems I'm having now... Which are still temporary, regardless of whether I stay another 3 months or 6 months
Yesterday at a meeting I led the Chief Information Officer at our agency had side conversations with one of his direct reports intermittently during the entire meeting. After the meeting I asked if there was anything I needed to be aware of that was being discussed, and someone said that this is a regular occurrence and that they address it through assigned seating.
Relations between my bureau and the CIO are already kind of tense and I'm concerned that treating them like children will worsen things (even if maybe they need to be scolded and separated).
I had the idea to approach it from a more light hearted perspective and say something along the lines of, "hey in case you didn't know I'm pregnant so don't make me mad." This meeting is all dudes- I don't know if that would give me more or less credibility, or if it would fix the behavior.
Have you played the pregnancy card at work? What was the context and did it do what you thought it would? What are your thoughts on my plan to play the pregnancy card?
Maybe a side conversation with each of them saying “it’s distracting and makes these meetings take longer”. Then if they don’t stop you can put them on the spot without them being able to say they weren’t warned.
[spoiler=TW in signature]
Me: 36, DH 37.
August 2014- 6w MMC
July 2015- CP
PCOS, plus some medical issues that make me high risk.
Our rainbow babies are due 3/21!!!!!
[/spoiler]
For so many of us in the US, we get 6 weeks of paid leave covered by Temporary Disability Insurance (TDI or SDI or STI). After that it’s unpaid time off unless you apply your sick/vacation to cover the rest of your remaining 12 weeks, and many places make you use your sick/vacation before the insurance can kick in.
It all absolutely sucks, I’m sorry. The good news in your case is that it sounds like you may have enough to cover your leave with sick/vacation until school lets out (if I read your post correctly).
It's really causing me to stress out. I don't know many people from the area we have only lived here 3 years. How am I suppose to find someone to do my own job?? He is the manager. How do I handle this?