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meggyme

@mamakate1616 you could start with iron rich foods. Those might be gentler on your digestive system.

mayoduck

@mamakate1616 I am taking desiccated liver pills instead of iron supplements. They are more well rounded with vitamins and I haven't had any constipation issues.  My mom almost bled to death when I was born and her doctor was stunned by how quickly her blood levels came back up when she came back for a follow-up. She swears by desiccated liver pills. Might be worth asking your care provider about?

lovesclimbing

There are more bowel-friendly iron forms also. Look into ferrous bisglycinate chelate. One of the brand names it's sold under is Ferrochel. 

Lbloom

@katiemommyof3 you're going to have to confirm with your provider about what those are. They sound a little like BH but since you are questioning them as an experienced mom, you might want to ask for monitoring (like a Non stress test, NST. That will tell you what kind of contractions they are). Also, I think the "back pain" is suspect. That could be something more serious like prodromal labor. Better safe than sorry, I'd call your care provider.

zionsmama85

Is it odd that I am feeling super secretive about the baby's name? Everytime someone asks me if i have come up with a name yet, i don't want to say. i have told certain people, like my parents and siblings....but like when common acquaintances or friends ask, i wanna say we aren't sure yet. It feels, i don't know, superstitious...or maybe i don't want to hear any unwanted feedback about the name. Her name will be Lauren Elizabeth and my close fam has been calling her Lizzie so that's what I have been telling the people i feel like telling. I feel like Rumpelstiltskin   

lelkcot

@zionsmama85 we’ve kept lo’s name kind of quiet as well. And by the way, love her name!

meggyme

@zionsmama85 whether for superstitious reasons or because you don’t want people’s opinions, it’s yours to tell or not tell. Don’t feel bad. You could even tell a little white lie and say you’re still deciding or not 100% sure yet.

ashley14598

@zionsmama85 I love her name btw!!! We didn’t tell anyone DS’s name last time either! I’m so thankful because I didn’t have to hear any opinions on it it just was what it was. 

I later learned that MIL didn’t really care for his name ... well sorry it is his name like it or not! We aren’t planning to tell the name to anyone this time around either (whenever we finally come up with a name for him). 

mihaelams1

@zionsmama85 We are keeping it secret and I don't think it's odd at all! We did the same with DS1. The only ones who know it's me, DH and the daycare director since we had to reserve a spot (for September!!!). I mean, we are openly sharing the gender, the due date etc, so we feel it's nice to keep at least smth a surprise.

mayoduck

@zionsmama85 Love your name choice! DH and I have told anyone and everyone who asks our LO's name and I think we're the oddballs for doing so as most others I know have kept the name(s) secret. I've been pleasantly surprised that anyone who isn't fond of the name has pretty much held their tongues. The reactions have either been "How cute! I love it!" or "Oh.."

meggyme

@mayoduck we have also been telling people our name. The only time we had a negative response was when we first came up with Lucille and told my MIL we were thinking about it. Now that we’re pretty set on it an there’s no real wiggle room no one has been negative.

mayoduck

@meggyme Good, hold strong! My in-laws don't love the name either but at least they aren't pushing us to change it in any way. They have disliked other grandchildren name picks before ours and now can't see those kids being called anything else so I think that's made them open minded that this name will grow on them too.

mayoduck

Curious. What are everyone's stances on posting baby/child photos on social media? No big deal or do you plan to restrict it?

lelkcot

@mayoduck I went back and forth on this and a part of me still worries about it, but we have family around the country and it’s one of the easiest ways to share. Plus I’m pretty sure it would have been a serious and on-going battle with the grandmothers to keep his picture off FB... I do expect people to tag me in pictures of my son, so I know they’re up and can keep track of them.

maggiemadeit

@mayoduck We have a pretty strict “no social media” policy when it comes to our daughter. We share photos with family over text or email, but neither my husband or I has social media accounts, and we trust that other people (aka my mom) are not posting without our permission. That being said, we’d never know if a photo of her was posted since we don’t use any of those platforms. 

mihaelams1

@mayoduck I post 1-3 pictures a year on facebook, and none in compromising situations or naked or the like. They are also not public, only visible to friends. I have a few older relatives and godmothers who like to share things left and right, and I'm keeping a low profile because of that (like they often share videos of their grandkids on MY wall, just to make sure I saw and commented on them!). 
Now, the private facebook group for DS1's BMB is another thing, there I feel safe to share more.

meggyme

@mayoduck I don’t post often and when I do I keep my photos private and only have people I know personally friended. We also use a private photo sharing app to share photos with family and friends, so I don’t have to rely on FB for that.

lovesclimbing

I don't mind other people posting photos of my daughter, but the only people who do are friends and family who know our stance on photos. Nothing naked will ever be taken of her, much less shared online, and no embarrassing photos like poo-splosions, etc.

I don't share tons of photos on social media. More get shared via a monthly email to family. 

zionsmama85

I am pretty much an open book on social media. When DS was a baby i posted pictures all day every day...i went too far in hindsight but this was also 10 years ago when FB was way smaller of a community. This time around i'm probably still going to post a lot tbqh, but not naked or embarrassing pics. I don't mind ppl posting photos as long as they tag me. The only time i'm probably gonna be anal about it is when she gets here...the hospital post situation. but im not really one of those people who has to be the first to post and doesn't want anyone to know the name and be all secretive. once she's here she's here, i just wanna be the one to make the first announcement, since SO doesn't have any social media. *shrug* 

kristimh80

I agree on being the 1st to post on social media of LO's. I get the privacy of some, but my SIL's, SIL had twins two years ago and if you didn't know them....you'd never know they existed. She will only post about her and her husband online. I get privacy, but at the same time, I want people to know I have babies lol

lalalauren15

@mayoduck we are planning a strict no social media policy. MH and I do not have Facebook, so I will just have to trust the family to respect our wishes. However, we are very private people in general, so it's really a personal preference. Also when I was younger I shared picture of my little sister on MySpace, which someone then stole and used to pretend it was them as a kid. The idea of a stranger having that picture of their computer really freaked me out. That being said, I plan to take tons of pictures to share via text/e-mail with family and friends!

@meggyme I love the idea of a private photo sharing app! Would you care to share the name of the app you use?

meggyme

@lalalauren15 I use Lifecake, but I’ve heard good things about tinybeans too. Mostly from spam accounts here on the bump though. I know other people that use private iPhone albums or google photos. There are lots of free options. Lifecake has a data limit. I can’t find what it is, but after 2.5yrs I’m only 50% full. I like that friends and family can comment and like photos, so it’s kind of like a private social media. And it’s easier for Grandparents than Facebook too.

mihaelams1

@lalalauren15 we use OneDrive for sharing photos with grandparents. They sync up automatically from the phones, and then I sign-in every few days and move them to shared albums. Only those you shared the link with can access, and they have to sign-in as well, so there is full control. 

lalalauren15

@meggyme @mihaelams1 thank you both so much for the recommendations!   I will check these out prior to baby arrival. I know both my MIL and mom will be dying for photos, so would be great to have one place to share privately.

BuckeyeNut05

@mayoduck I won't typically post pictures of our kids to social media. If I do, there is an album that only close friends and immediate family have access to view. My sister will occasionally post a picture or two, which I'll let slide, but I get really mad when others do, like an Aunt who I never see except at family functions. 

As for names, we don't have one yet, but if we did, I'd share ahead of time. I am someone who isn't easily swayed or irritated if someone in the family doesn't like it, though. Too bad, so sad. 

chocolatelemons

I’m looking for opinions on a situation we’re dealing with for the second time. My MIL is anti vax and hasn’t seen a doctor in about 10 years including the many times she’s been sick for extensive periods- cough, fever, etc. She wouldn’t get the tdap when my son was born so she was allowed to hold him at the hospital and then we waited until he got his first shots at 8 weeks for visits. This was a bit awkward but she lived 2 hours away and was working as a teacher full time at the time so it’s not like visiting was happening that often anyway. This time, she’s much closer (we moved) and has been babysitting my son once a week. She’s retired from teaching as well. She offered to help out more once our little girl is born which is very nice, but given that she’s due March 1 when flu and other illness activity is still high, I feel even more strongly about keeping her away from the baby. I feel badly because this is my husband’s mom but it’s a matter of health. I guess I’m just looking for reassurance and advice on how to handle this. We haven’t talked to her yet and I get the feeling that she is thinking that we’ll be more laid back about this because she’s our second.

lelkcot

@chocolatelemons feel like I should preface with the fact that I’m one to err on the side of caution when it comes babies and sickness, and very pro-vaccines and appropriate medical treatment. While I know it’s likely a very awkward conversation, I wouldn’t allow someone I knew was unvaccinated around my baby until after the first round of shots. I think I would approach it as a baby safety concern standpoint. We’re actually planning to keep DS home from daycare for all of maternity leave to reduce the germs coming into the house.

chocolatelemons

@lelkcot I feel exactly the same way and we are also keeping my son home during maternity leave for the same reasons. I guess it’s just going to be a difficult conversation. It just blows my mind how much more anti vax and doctors she gets as she ages. 

Kenneylynn3

@chocolatelemons I'm kinda stuck in the same situation. I haven't even brought up Tdap to il's yet. Everyone but my bil got the flu vaccine because "he never gets sick." I don't know how to go about this as we will be at my il's for the first couple of days after lo is here. Part of me hopes that the couple of days won't make a huge difference. But I don't know how to approach it with my in-laws. Any ideas?

3rdtime_charmed

@chocolatelemons I just tell people that the flu kills babies and they would feel awful if they were the ones to give it to their grandkids, etc. I don’t argue with people about it, and if they decide not to get the vaccines, then they won’t hold the babies until the flu season is done. We know it’s going to cause hard feelings but we also want to prevent a rift for life if someone gets them sick because that would be unforgivable. 

lelkcot

@3rdtime_charmed and @chocolatelemons I totally guilt-tripped my mom into getting the flu shot this year, and hopefully into her tdap booster as well. Brought up how dangerous the flu or whooping cough would be to her elderly friend with major lung issues that she spends a good deal of time with, not to mention her (soon-to-Be) 6 grandchildren. 🤷‍♀️ (She’s the Queen of guilt-trips, so I figure turn about is fair play) 

scimomma

@chocolatelemons I'm dealing with the same thing. My MIL is a conspiracy theorist and I'm pretty sure she believes the government uses vaccines to control the population. I've usually had to leave the room or end the conversation anytime she starts talking about this, though, so I don't fully know her views... She just visited over the weekend and my husband made a comment to her as she was leaving like "and you'll need to get vaccinated before visiting the kid" and she scoffed and said that germs are good. I'm pretty sure she doesn't care that I've studied microbiology for years and thinks my formal education has brainwashed me. Anyways, I'm also not exactly sure the best way to deal with the situation but I think she respects that I'm seeing a midwife and not a "regular" doctor so I want to print out some pro-vaccine information from the midwife's office to show her so she doesn't think I'm just being crazy and overbearing. And also tell her that she'll need the vaccines if she wants to spend time with the kid in the first two months. It'll be her first grandchild so I'm hoping she'll care enough to get it done. We'll see! 

chocolatelemons

@bug_hunter I thjnk our MILs would be friends.  Last time around, I had my midwife aunt send me some printouts that I passed on to MIL. Obviously, didn’t work for me since she didn’t get the shot. She claims
that a friend’s child died after getting the dtap so she brings that up every chance she gets. It also doesn’t help that my nephew is autistic and she believes the vaccine caused it.  She’s also constantly posting very unreliable “news” stories on social media. For a smart person, she comes off extremely unintelligent. 

@Kenneylynn3 Videos of babies with whooping cough are pretty scary. You could show them to your ILs if you’re comfortable doing that. Or, ask your MW/ Doc for information you can pass on like @bug_hunter suggested. It didn’t work for me, but you may have more luck.

babya422

When you say these adults don’t have their vaccines, which ones do you mean? I didn’t know it was common for adults to get additional vaccines to see baby. 

Now I do know a few kids whose parents are anti-vaccine and I’m not sure they’ve gotten all their vaccines yet, so they won’t be allowed over before we have that talk. 

gowenc

@jesiannv the vaccines that are recommended for anyone who is going to be around baby are TDAP and flu. TDAP is important because whooping cough can be extremely dangerous for babies, and they don't typically their first vaccine for it until they're a couple months old (in MD they get three doses, at 2, 4, and 6 months). Flu vaccine is also recommended if baby will be born during flu season, since that can also be very serious for babies. In my MD, babies don't get the flu vaccine until they're at least 6 months old.

ETA: This is also assuming that adults have had all the typical childhood vaccinations. When I first found out I was pregnant this time my OB ran bloodwork and apparently I have no immunity to German measles (which is part of the MMR vaccine, which I definitely had). It's extremely rare so risk is low, but he recommended that I get re-vaccinated after baby is born.

meggyme

Also I believe the tdap is good for 10 years, so unless they’ve had a booster their immunity may have diminished. In 2016 my younger sisters were covered but my parents and in-laws got the booster. I won’t push it this time because they should still be covered from their boosters

kristimh80

Same here! My RE tested to make sure vaccines were up to date. Also had to get the MMR vaccine before could think about starting trying to get pregnant. Def want to make sure people have the Tdap vaccine if possible. 

lelkcot

@jesiannv with DS our OB recommend both DH and I get the TDAP (yay for Kaiser and making DH get it right along with me at the OBs office 😂) as well any adult who would be around DS regularly in the first year. And for most of our parents, they’ve hit the age where it’s recommended to get that booster anyway, because they’re more likely to have a reduced immunity at this point and whooping cough can be dangerous for them.
@gowenc it funny you mention that, I actually have a reduced immunity to that as well! For whatever reason my body doesn’t maintain that immunity- my levels we’re checked when I started working at a hospital about 9 years ago and I need the MMR again for low rubella immunity, and it was low again when they checked this pregnancy.

maggiemadeit

I know there was a discussion about this somewhere, but I am having trouble finding it...

Is anyone taking iron supplements? I make sure I get more than the recommended amount in my diet, but my bloodwork says I am anemic so I need to start supplementing. But the iron they put in prenatals really causes me digestive problems. Any recommendations for a gentle iron supplement? 

mamakate1616

@maggiemadeit, @mayoduck and @lovesclimbing made some recommendations earlier on this thread (for me it’s the top of page 21)