Questions 6/1

chopchop25

What’s on your mind?

kmflick0913

So can I bring up a somewhat personal question here about something that came up in my appt after my anatomy scan? Nothing specifically with the baby, but for me. So with my first she was big and I tore 3rd degree. With my son he came so fast that I ended up with a 4th degree. My MW stated that because of the 4th degree I would automatically be eligible to have an elective csect if I chose to. I’ve started some research but I was wondering if anyone else had this happen and what they did, where they researched, how did you decide? Having two unmedicated vaginal births with the exception of the lacerations everything went well, and being this is our last baby I feel inclined to go the vag route still as I anticipated, but now that an option has presented itself I don’t want to rule anything out.

britvahok

@kmflick0913 If I were in your situation I would go for the vaginal birth. I've also never had a 3rd or 4th degree tear so I don't know how that will impact your decision. 

kmflick0913

@britvahok Thanks! There is of course a ton to consider, after my son I did have issues with incontinence, and I am very nervous that if I do go vag and tear again which they said was very likely, that I would end up with lifelong battles down there with possible or probable surgeries. I look at my mom who has so many issues after having three big babies. But having MW in my doctor office practice also affords for alternative birthing positions, which could help to alleviate tearing, but nothing is for sure. And then of course, csect is major surgery, do I want to elect for that with so much going on at home already?! I have an awesome support system but still...I’m very pro skin to skin immediately after birth and having that bonding bc i was a BF mommy and plan to be with this one as well.
thabks for your input

ladyofarlington

How in the world do I pick a crib? I’m feeling overwhelmed with all the options and, unlike other baby products, it’s seems to be a much more permanent (and pricy) decision. It’s not like other baby items that you can simply swap out if you’re not happy with it (unless you want to deal with the hassle of selling on CL or the like). 

Samw with a glider! So many options!

britvahok

@kmflick0913 that's such a difficult decision. How was your recovery with the tears? It sounds like your options are recovery from another tear or recovery from a csection. 

knottieamusements

@ladyofarlington

I started with looking at a bunch in person to figure out what I might like.  I was planning to get one at BRU (better price point than Buy Buy Baby, better selection than other places), but most of the ones I would consider were special order and they had already stopped doing that.  

So I went on Wayfair, where there was like a thousand options, put in some filters, and got it down to ten or so.  It was pretty easy from there because only 2-3 of those 10 were actually a style consistent with what I wanted.  

FYI- I am not planning to use the crib as the long term bedframe.  So, for me, it didn’t feel like a permanent decision.  Once we are done with the toddler bed, I plan to get a new bedframe.  

ladyofarlington

@knottieamusements - Duh, Wayfair! I was just looking at Wayfair last night for living room furniture and didn’t even think about looking for a crib there!

Hoping to find a crib we can use for several years if we decide to have another baby after this one. Thanks for the idea! 

cjx95

@ladyofarlington Im going with this one
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B010S7VZ6W?colid=1PHESZF2D5WS2&coliid=I2JXPPRVRKJG2P&ref=br_mb_ov_item_detail
It doesn't require extra pieces to convert into a toddler/day bed, relatively cheap, and I like Graco as a brand. Of course I'll let you know when we get it how I really feel!

chopchop25

@ladyofarlington I did some research on safety and then features, so I could decide which features I wanted. I've also found Lucy's list to be super helpful. We narrowed down to like top two based on reviews and features, and then just got the one that had a good deal on it.

edit: we ended up with the Babyletto Hudson. It came with the parts to convert to a toddler bed, too.

ladyofarlington

Oooh, I love that @mamabearcj

That seems like such a great deal, too! I need to lay off the PBK catalogues that keep coming in the mail haha!

jennybean80

@kmflick0913 would they (or you) be willing to consider induction a bit earlier? Since you seem to grow big babies, maybe an induction at 39 weeks would help baby be a bit smaller and reduce the tearing to something more manageable? I’m a L&D nurse and have seen patients opt for both. 

nasalot188

@kmflick0913 I second what @jennybean80 said.

Have you considered induction? My first was a very fast delivery, not terrible tearing, but caused some breathing issues for my son. My OB has recommended induction this time to try and control the speed and be more prepared.

sammierose464

Do I need to contact the pediatrician I've chosen before birth? I confirmed his team is who cares for babies at the hospital I chose. 

jynjer4

I just realized I probably need to find a pediatrician. This should be fun since I know zilch about them. 

sammierose464

I was going to use the one my siblings see, but when I mentioned him my OB told me he was retiring. The Dr who's taking over his patients is highly recommended by several friends and services my hospital. So it ended up being an easy choice.

tinattt23

Re: pedis. I googled local offfices. Picked two to interview based mostly on location(s), hours, sick/after hours care (and mandatory vaccination policy). One was hard to schedule with and we had a long wait. Other was a breeze and took us back right away. Both had the same general speal and answers to my few questions, so we picked the one with the shorter wait. They just had us infrom the hospital we were using their office. Their on call doc did our hospital visits then told us to call and schedule an office appoint for the next day (or whatever). We didn’t fill out any paperwork until that first appointment. 

rabtaido1214

@ladyofarlington I know, such a big choice. I stared by looking online. When I ended up in a few stores and looking in person I realized online things can look very nice but feel unstable in person so I wanted to be able to shake it and make sure it seemed sturdy before deciding. With that said, Wayfair usually has a lot of helpful reviews so I’d feel pretty confident going through there too.

we ended up ordering from Crate and Barrel, which was comparable in price to other places we were looking. we also got some nursery furniture from pottery barn kids. I was surprised multiple items were back ordered until July and august so I’m glad we ordered early.

we also toyed with getting a crib that was converable to toddler bed and then further to a twin or full. At first I was set on getting s convertible crib and all the pieces to Kat this baby until college, but thecrib I ended up loving converts to toddler only, but DH and I decided we plan for a baby #2 at some point so we will probably use this crib for #2 and get a different bed for #1 when she outgrows it. Plans may change, but that’s our reasoning! Plus it’s gold and I just adore it.

another thought if it you think you may use the crib for multiple LOs you may want to try to go with something than can be gender neutral for flexibility later on. 

Happy shopping 

knottieamusements

rabtaido1214 said:
When I ended up in a few stores and looking in person I realized online things can look very nice but feel unstable in person so I wanted to be able to shake it and make sure it seemed sturdy before deciding.  

Agreed, with one caveat- I find a lot or times that things assembled for floor display are slapped together pretty fast; they just need some attention paid to tightening the screws, making sure all the screws are used, etc.  

rabtaido1214

@knottieamusements good point, I did wonder about that.

mommy2ane

We have a convertible that we got from Target but I don’t think we’re ever going to get past the crib part! I’d make sure it’s sturdy if you plan to use it for for subsequent kids. 

@jynjer91 as for pediatricians, I’d ask coworkers and friends who they recommend. I’ve also asked my neighbors and when I joined my mom group, I asked them. You aren’t stuck with them for life, so if anything, you can have one just so they can do well baby visits until you find the one you like. 

purplegoldfish2

For pediatricians, we did the same as @mommy2ane and went with the most recommended one. I never even interviewed them because timing didn’t work, but I did call and ask if the doctor I wanted was accepting new patients and told them I was pregnant with twins. She was and they told us how to proceed from there.  They did not go to the hospital I was delivering at so the pediatrician that was on staff took care of checking them and discharge. The first time we went to the office was our first appointment.  I know that’s not how most people do things, but if you end up not liking the office or doctor, you can always switch.  I know several people that did interview doctors and ended up changing while we didn’t interview but have been with the same doctor since my boys were born.

BabyRobbinsAdventure

@kmflick0913 I’m in the same boat and I’m going c-section. I had some other complications also, so it’s not just because my tearing was so severe. Do what you think is right for you though. 

jomama1618

@kmflick0913 I did have similar tearing. I was actually told because of the severity of it, I was less likely to tear again (and if I did, it wouldn't be as severe.) I guess  maybe like muscle memory? Not sure, just what I was told. But because Ds was larger and had a big head and very broad shoulders, he got stuck. OB said that level of shoulder dystocia and tearing, that we need to consider the possibility, that a c-section may be best. But we will do extra growth scans at the end, and decide together.
Also random thought (and I don't know if you did this before) but there is physical therapy to help your body after tearing/incontinence etc. My Dr said maybe something to think about after I heal from surgery. (I have a hernia that needs repaired after this baby.)
Our in-office radiologist is renowned (around here) for her skill of correctly measuring size within a few ounces. Ds would have been her exact estimate, had he not had his meconium movement in utero (1oz off). Nephew was like 1.5ozs off. So using her skill, as long as #2 isn't over Doc's comfortable cut off (I think he said 9.5lbs, for circumstances) we will try for another med free, intervention free vaginal birth. But you have to do what you feel is right for you.

Re: Pediatrician. I was told between 6 and 8 months to at least have talked with the pedi, and it known you would like them as your kiddo's pcp. #2 will have the same pedi as Ds, so they said give her a heads up at his 2yr well check (I'll be over 24 weeks then)

sliztee

Have people been asking y'all for your registries? I've not been asked a single damn time and it's making me stabby.

HoosOnFirst

It feels pretty early to ask, in my opinion.

sliztee

I guess maybe I'm just new to this and don't have any friends or family in NY, so I won't be having a baby shower unless my work throws me one. I just figured my friends in GA would have asked!

ETA: Maybe I'm just the weirdo who asks when I find out my friend is pregnant 

hellopartyof5

@sliztee make sure your registry is searchable, because if it doesn't show up I assume someone doesn't have one. 

sliztee

It is, @hellopartyof5 Thanks! 

I just wanna start buying stuff! Patience is not my strong suit.

ladyofarlington

No one has asked about registries, which IMO is a good thing because I haven’t registered yet.

cjx95

No one has asked me yet either but I gave them to my mom to put on the invites for the shower so idk I was finishing them the other day and noticed nothing's been bought yet so it's probably too early still 

zwink1

I've gotten questions about my registries already.  They're still private because they're not even close to finished and for the longest time they were acting mostly as a list of things I wanted to research more.  However, I'm going to have to make them public soon because I'm getting a lot of impatience from certain people, lol. 

About a ped. I know who we're using, but I'm not sure that he services at the hospital I'm delivering at. I'm delivering quite a ways from my house in order to continue using the team that I've been using for years and who I've been with through IF, so I can't exactly just switch hospitals but I also definitely want this ped.   I didn't even think of that as an issue.  It sounds like some of you had one ped do the hospital check and then just went to one you'd regularly use for the first post-hospital visit.

jomama1618

@zwink1 Our hospital, you see whatever pediatrician is doing rounds. They notify your pediatrician in case they want to come see them (they usually don't) But I believe the reason for asking what pedi you are using, is so they can make sure all baby's chart stuff, from birth to discharge, gets sent to them for their files in office. Also I believe it's one of those "safety" questions they ask, to assure baby will have adequate care after leaving the hospital. (Check ups and what have you) Or to help you find a pediatrician if you haven't.

tlmill

We didn’t meet our pedi before DD was born or anything. A couple of months before my due date, I called them to ask if they were accepting new patients and they said yes and to just call once we were discharged from the hospital to schedule her 3-5 day checkup. She saw the on-call pedi in the hospital because her pedi didn’t have privileges at the hospital I delivered at. Same with DS. 

knottieamusements

I’m pretty sure we see the on call pedi, not the one I have chosen.  Not a big deal to me. 

HoosOnFirst

At our hospital they use their in-house pedi for discharge and you don’t see your local one until 3 days post-partum.

zwink1

Okay, i was going to say, I didn't think I had to make sure my hospital and pediatrician would also coordinate. I thought I was pulling a FTM move and totally missing something, lol. Thanks!

sliztee

I guess it's different everywhere. The pediatrician I'm looking at using sends all of their doctors to the hospital where I'm delivering, but I think that all of them are associated with the university system, so it's probably a little different.

spartan4life

We haven’t finalized our pedi choice, but the one at the top of our list rounds daily at the hospital where I deliver. The others said we would see the hospital pedi and then see their doctor at our first visit. Sounds like it really depends on the hospital and pedi affiliation.

melbo444

It makes sense, of course, but I had no idea that I would need a pediatrician before the baby is born.

rabtaido1214

Not sure if I missed anything but resources on finding reviews for pedis? I tried healthgrades.com and vitals.com but so many have no or few reviews.

I don’t really have friends with kids to go off personal recommendations and my OBGYN will likely just recommend doctors that are a part of her hospital system. Although her practice is convenient to work for the routine appointments, and hopefully convenient enough for delivery I don’t want to drive into a major city with a baby for appointments.