Partner/Spouse Complaint Zone

Laumb11

I am going to bitch about DH not being supportive of cloth diapers and basically giving me the "lets see how long this lasts" look. so annoying

sliztee

"I went to bed when we normally do around 1:30"...I'm sorry. I don't understand. You stay up until 1:30am?!

I'm lucky if I make it past 9:15.

mamabearcj

@sliztee lol I know it sounds crazy BUT I'm not working so I can sleep in with DH until 11 or 12. It can suck but it's the only way I really get to see him is if I stay up and hangout when he gets home and for an hour or so before he goes to work

sliztee

That's true. I suppose if I weren't working and my husband didn't go to work until later...maybe I would be able to stay up until 10:15.

kiwi2628

@sliztee lollll ditto. My H doesnt come home until 8:30-9 most nights and we have dinner and are asleep by 10 every night. No shame. I am way too tired to be awake past 10. But we also wake up naturally with the sun around 5:30 or 6, so its nice.

chyvie

Yes we got to bed by 10/10:30 but both wake up with the sun (and our pup) around 5:30/6. The occasion we stay up to 11 and sleep to 7. Even on weekends if we aren't out socially we sleep the same as a weeknight
I love my sleep and am dreading waking up to feed baby. But the fact I'm waking up to pee 3-4 times a night is helping the transition I guess!

mamabearcj

I mean I'm already tired but I guess I'm actually pretty happy were up early today. We actually get to do stuff tonight and tomorrow and I get more than a few hours with DH. We'll see if I'm still this happy come tomorrow morning lol

sammierose464

This might get long, so bear with me. I need to express my frustration to people who fully understand nhoe I feel.

DH and I got to very briefly talk about what failing my GD screen means and what it will mean if I fail my 3hr. I was expressing my frustration that I'll need to watch my carbs, but I have such limited energy to cook when I get home. And that when I do cook I rarely want to eat it then (I threw up today packing up the thawed steaks in our fridge to take to his patents because of the smell). And that exercise is recommended but I have so little energy when I get home from work and I hurt. He tells me that we just need to do it. He then starts telling me how it's for our baby's health (uh duh) and I must not understand.

I told him I do understand, but it doesn't make it easier. He then tells me I really must not.

I am so ready to tell him to f off. Dude, I'm the one who's read a ton of articles on what I should and shouldn't do/eat while pregnant. I'm the one watching food recalls, who's given up alcohol 100% because it made him uncomfortable, who has to avoid him and his buddies when they are smoking cigs/cigars/vape. I'm the one still throwing on occasion at 27 weeks. Miserable because it's practically impossible to get a good night's sleep. In pain when I lay down because of my back. I'm the one getting fatter daily and having to deal with the pain in my back and feet. Who's body will never be the same. Who will have to endure labor. 
Pardon me if I'm nervous and freaking out and stressing about having GD. Who also keeps finding more reasons that I'm at an elevated risk for pre-e (apparently my mom was borderline with my sister, but mom was also 35, PCOS raises my chances, and if I don't have GD it will too).

I understand. I don't think he does.

ETA: all while he goes out with his buddies every Friday and then most weekends

rabtaido1214

@sammierose464 oh my gosh how aweful!!! I’m so sorry he said that to you. He has no clue how much you already do for your baby’s health. I don’t know how you didn’t tell him to F off.

sammierose464

Probably only because we were with some of his family at that point.

kiwi2628

If he feels like he has ANY control over your body, then he should also feel comfortable with you having control over his- he can stop smoking cold turkey tomorrow and stop drinking with his buddies since both are bad for him and therefore bad for your family.

sammierose464

@kiwi2628 that's how I feel right now.

SweetSweetTooth

I am so sorry @sammierose464! You have every right to be frustrated! I hope you find a way to tell him off so that he gets it!! 

sammierose464

He just got home and keeps asking if I'm okay. I'm avoiding talking about it so that we don't fight. I don't have it in me to get into a fight tonight.

cdepperschmidt

@sammierose464 I’m sorry he’s being a jerk!

jynjer4

@sammierose464  

knottieamusements

@sammierose464 - I am sorry that your husband is being a dick.  Everything we are doing right now is for our and our babies’ health.   If he can’t appreciate that you are still trying to keep up with all your regular chores while also pregnant, he is fucking clueless and insensitive.  

mamabearcj

Oh @sammierose464 I'm sorry he's being insensitive to the situation and how you're feeling... maybe leave him some articles youre finding outlining your concerns and such?? It's not fair how much we go throw already and to have our support people not be understanding is so much worse.. we have your back!!

sammierose464

After trying to fall asleep and doing nothing but crying, I finally talked to him. I told him I'm scared and all of the things running through my head. He apologized for accusing me of not understanding it's for the baby's health. And I explained that everything I do has my baby's health in mind. We are better, but I'm still sad today. I think it'll be a rough week between waiting for my Dr appointment and accepting whatever he says Wednesday.

chyvie

@sammierose464 I'm sorry you are dealing with this additional stress from DH.  After your chat I hope he realizes you are worried about you and babies health and would do anything for him. Sometimes boys can be so oblivious and insensitive. Hormones are also a bitch and take over us which doesn't help the situation. Overall the most important thing is you know what you are doing for your/ babies health and the doctors will assist you in figuring this out if it needs to come down to that. DH can either get on board or stop criticism.

mytrueloves

DF got high last night, spent our last $20 on pizza, then cooked himself food, making a huge mess which I now have to clean up. Then when we got in bed, he decides to start fondling my breasts while talking about how gross they are (his words) just seconds after telling him I think my body is disgusting. He waits until I just get done crying, still sniffling, to ask for a blow job and then promptly passes out at 5 pm and sleeps until 8 this morning.

And doesn't remember ANY OF IT today. 

What the hell dude.

jynjer4

Ohhhhh damn @mytrueloves I’d be livid! I don’t mind at all when Curtis smokes but he’s never acted anything like that. You’d better believe it would be him cleaning up that mess though! 

KFrob

@mytrueloves O.M.G.  I am livid for you.

KFrob

Also, @sammierose464 I'm glad you guys talked.  Like @chyvie said, they can be totally oblivious to how they're making us feel sometimes

mamabearcj

@mytrueloves oh man I'd have slapped the life out of that man and kicked him to the couch!! In fact you should today. That's beyond uncalled for I don't care what state of mind he's in. You are a beautiful woman creating life and it certainly isn't fun all the time but its what our bodies do. We're gonna bounce back and have super cool tiny humans to show off for it!! I'm so sorry you're not feeling great about yourself right now, and that DH was being a total jerk last night. I hope DH realizes how much of an ass he was and makes it up to you tenfold

mytrueloves

He always acts like a complete child when he gets high. I keep forgetting how obnoxious it is. Last time he got high he had a field day over how big my nose is. (Disclaimer: the nose thing didn't  and doesn't bother me. I thought it was funny). I'm especially annoyed that he doesn't remember any of it. He can't feel guilty over something he doesn't remember lol

nikimelon

@sammierose464 I'm really sorry you're dealing with that. I hope you're next appointment has better results and can alleviate some of the fear/frustration you're feeling. Getting to know you the last few months, you always have babies' needs top of mind, don't let anyone make you feel like you aren't doing enough, glad you were at least able to talk about it more. Pregnancy is hard. 

@mytrueloves I can't even. I'm a total ragemonster for you right now. 

sliztee

I'm concerned that your fiance is an asshole, and blames his behavior on being high and not remembering. There, I said it. @mytrueloves

spartan4life

@sammierose464 I don’t have much to add to what everyone else said, but I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with all of the GD stuff and DH being insensitive on top of it. I’m glad you talked and he was able to understand your perspective a little better. I hope your appointment goes well this week with your doctor and he is able to give you some
clarity and next steps to follow.

sammierose464

Thanks ladies. I really appreciate it. I needed someone who understood exactly how I feel.

@mytrueloves That is 100% uncalled for and even if he doesn't remember you need to make sure it's clear that what he did was not okay.

mytrueloves

We talked about it after dropping ODD off at her day camp. He apologized and said he didn't mean to hurt my feelings. Also said he remembered bits and pieces and that he remembered that the sensation of my breasts felt unusual specifically while he was high and that that was probably what he meant, not that he found my body gross. And then apologized again for upsetting me.

So there's that. And he doesn't work today so after we pick up ODD, I'm making him clean up his mess lol

nasalot188

@mytrueloves Glad he apologised. But man...I would have been so livid! I'm so self conscious about my boobs these days. TMI alert - I don't think my areolas (sp?) can get any bigger.

sammierose464

DH can't get enough of my preggo boobs. I am about ready to slap his hands away some days.

HoosOnFirst

sammierose464 said:

DH can't get enough of my preggo boobs. I am about ready to slap his hands away some days.

Same here, it's actually annoying.

jynjer4

@sammierose464 Oh I do slap his hands away! Nips are too sensitive and he “forgets” he has to be super gentle.

knottieamusements

mytrueloves said:

 He can't feel guilty over something he doesn't remember lol

You should be working on making him feel guilty for getting high rather than being an ass.  

That said, I’m glad he apologized and is cleaning up his mess.  

krzyriver

DH almost got murdered this weekend. I've been exhausted and in so much pain and I really needed his help this weekend, but he had signed up to referee for a soccer tournament. I really wanted him to back out, but it was pretty last minute so he couldn't. I was upset and broke down and cried at one point because the pelvic pain was just so bad. Well my dumb H goes "You need to figure out how to handle Z by yourself. What are you going to do when there's two kids here?" Um... I won't be pregnant then, so there's that! But thanks for making me feel super inadequate. Talk about kicking a girl when she's down.

SawyerRichardson

@krzyriver What a low blow and totally uncalled for. I hope he realizes how rude that was and apologizes later. I’m sorry he said that to you.

mamabearcj

By yourself?? Umm no pretty sure you're both parents so he needs to figure out what's more important, refereeing a game or helping your wife and family in a moment of need.. I'm angry for you @krzyriver and I'm sorry DH had his priorities misaligned.. I understand he made a commitment, but I hope he at least apologizes for his comments and not taking your pain as serious as it was.

jennybean80

@krzyriver that would piss me off to no end. DH tends to do crap like that as well, he’s easily convinced to do things for other people/groups and forgets to run things by me first. Hope yours gets his priorities figured out.