**Newbie Intro Thread week of 5/21**

general_organa

Please read The Ultimate TTGP Guide pinned at the top of the board (https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12685680/the-ultimate-ttgp-guide-newbies-read-this-first/p1). It's full of information about TTGP and about our community here on The Bump.

Please introduce yourself and share as much or as little as you are comfortable with. Once you're ready, feel free to jump into any of our daily/weekly threads to start participating in the community!

Ages (you and SO): 

How many months have you been TTC? 

What are you doing to get knocked up (WAYDTGKU)? 

Tell us about yourself! (Kids, pets, job, hobbies, etc.)

Erinm278

Ages (you and SO): I'm 33 and hubs is 36

How many months have you been TTC? This is our first month after having the mirena removed last week!

What are you doing to get knocked up (WAYDTGKU)? So far just waiting on a period to return.  I'm going to chart and test with opks.

Tell us about yourself! (Kids, pets, job, hobbies, etc.) We have 2 girls Ellery is going to be 5 and Charlotte just turned 3.  We weren't sure if we were going to try for a 3rd but we both recently have really felt that desire for another.  I work at a large university in Upstate NY and I am the Prevention Coordinator for Alcohol and Other Drug Programs.  We live in the country and we love to go hiking!

lostdream

I am 42. and DH is 45. We are married for 8 years, been married before, but it ended due to major issues. No kids fro, the first. But by the time we wanted kids, I was experiencing infertility. Later, I have been diagnosed low ovarian reserve. Now TTC for years. Did conceived, but ended in miscarriage. IVF didn't work for us. Now, we are told that we may have to go for donor eggs. Still weighing our options. I have heard that surrogacy is a better option than adoption. 

kiki047

Hi! Newbie here, although I’ve been an unregistered lurker for months. I only recently figured out I should at least register even though I didn’t feel ready to participate myself until now. 

Ages (you and SO): 
I’m 31 going on 32, boyfriend is 35. 

How many months have you been TTC? 

M/C: 5/3. Came off the pill end of Dec, had a fairly normal initial period, then a super light one, then nothing for 8 weeks and now nothing again on week 6. BFN 2 weeks in a row.

What are you doing to get knocked up (WAYDTGKU)

Lots, but sometimes feels like not enough? Charting with FF, CM, OPK (although with these irregular cycles I’ve given up after 3 wks of nothing the last 2 cycles). Taking my prenatals, CQ10, Vit D, and omega 3s. Oh, and lots and lots of BD. 

Tell us about yourself! (Kids, pets, job, hobbies, etc.)

My boyfriend and I have only been together for a year, but have been friends for 8. He was married before, no kids (not for lack of trying *TW* they did multiple rounds of IVF only to be told they needed an egg donor). He has a dog that we share custody with his ex, and I have two cats. So far the step (fur)children do NOT get along, lol. We both love to golf, travel (took him to Arizona for his bday in March - incredible!!), and cook/eat. We met serving on the board of directors for a community organization, with which we are both still highly involved with. 

We’ve known from the get go that we both wanted the same things.  He moved in almost right away, and we’re in the process of buying a house together now. We decided we would wait until January to start trying as he wanted to get his divorce settled before we complicated things more. 

He just found out on the weekend that his brother and SIL are expecting. We’re happy for them as it’ll be the first grandbaby in the family (on both sides) but at the same time he’s really struggling with it. After so many years of infertility problems with his ex, and now on 5mos of us just starting to TTC, he’s terrified of the unknown and it is breaking my heart. I’m just trying to navigate through the pangs of jealousy, mixed with equal parts of fear and guilt. 

Sorry for the long post, I’ve just been lurking for so long, I wanted to thank y’all for sharing all your vulnerabilities and honesty. The internet is full of all sorts of cray cray but it is reassuring to feel like I’m among friends here, even though we’re still complete strangers. 

suzycupcake

Welcome @kiki047 and @Erinm278

Welcome to you too @lostdream I'm sorry that you find yourself on the IF journey. It's very very hard so hugs. I don't know that surrogacy is better than adoption since there are so many orphans out there who need loving homes, but that's my opinion. You will make the best decision for you and your family. See you around!

grangerhp37

@kiki047 Your story sounds similar to mine, I stopped BC in Dec and had a normal period at first, but then have had 2 abnormally long cycles since then. We didn’t start TTC until this month, but I’m in the same boat of not knowing whether I’m even ovulating. Have you talked to your doctor yet about your irregular cycles?

kiki047

Thank you @suzycupcake. 

@dogmomma271 I haven't talked to him since actually going off the pill. I did ask him about it before because I had irregular cycles as a teenager, which was one of the reasons I went on the pill in the first place. I have pretty much been on it since I was 16. I don't know what my "normal" is yet and everything google has told me keeps saying it can take up to a year for my body to regulate. I'm trying not to be too worried but it's so hard to figure out when I'm overreacting (like how many HPT can I take in a month when my cycle is 8 weeks long) or when I should be concerned. So far most people have told me that 5 months off the pill is still "early" and I should just wait it out. 

ETA: I saw my doc before stopping BC and we talked about what I should be doing to prepare my body to TTC. I'm doing my vitamins and supplements, I stopped drinking, etc etc. Going to try acupuncture since I'm already going for headaches. 

lulu1180

@kiki047 @dogmomma271 Are either of you tracking your cycles with BBT, OPK, CM, etc?  And have you confirmed ovulation in any of your cycles?  If you keep having irregular cycles without confirmed ovulation then I would make an appointment to discuss it with your OB and if you go 60 days without a period, confirmed ovulation, or positive HPT definitely call them so they can prescribe something to induce AF!  

grangerhp37

@lulu1180 Yes I’ve been temping, I had one cycle in January where FF gave me crosshairs and I had a normal 30 day cycle that month but it’s been weird since. I met with my doctor in April and ended up with a diagnosis of PCOS. I also was on BC for about 10 years and thought it would just take my body longer to regulate, but my doctor seemed to think it was more than that. If this cycle is just as long as my last one (70+ days), I’ll probably go in again to get Provera (to start AF right?) and ask about Clomid since I don’t seem to be ovulating. I’ve done OPK’s almost every day this month and got some dark lines but never darker than the control.

lulu1180

@dogmomma271 I'm glad you've already talk to your Dr about it and that you are at least aware that you have PCOS.  The only thing I will say about clomid is to not take it from an OB.  It really should only be administered by an RE and you should be monitored while taking it.  Not to mention, clomid has a lifetime max of 6 cycles and it doesn't work for everyone with PCOS but there are other options available that may work.  Good luck on your TTC journey!

kiki047

@lulu1180 Yes to CM and OPK the last 2 cycles. I wasn’t convinced I even ovulated because I’m pretty sure I was only seeing lines from squinting too hard. My last AF was heavy and lasted a full 8 days which is definitely weird for me. Will buy a thermometer to start temping but tbh the ones I’ve seen available on Amazon.ca have such mixed reviews (including the one recommended by the Bump) so I’ve held off (excuses, I know). I’m CD38 so far and no sign of AF yet, but since we’re in the middle of a move I also haven’t been doing my OPK this month. That’s enough to convince me I need to follow up with my doc. Thanks!

suzycupcake

@kiki047 I know the reviews will drive you crazy. I use iproven. Yea, the reviews were so mixed, but what I do to circumvent is I double temp in the morning. I temp first to allow the thermometer to warm up and then temp again, but I make sure I don't move at all. I stay still like a statue with my eyes closed. I probably don't even need to do that, but that's why lulu recommends what she did because each thing is important to every cycle to get a whole picture. No one thing is going to be perfect, but you'll have the best chance if you do all of the above. 

jrm_14

kiki047 said:

@lulu1180 Yes to CM and OPK the last 2 cycles. I wasn’t convinced I even ovulated because I’m pretty sure I was only seeing lines from squinting too hard. 

Hi @kiki047 Sorry you find yourself here & with such irregular cycles. The boldest jumped out to me as every OPK I have ever used, the line needs to be as dark/darker than the control to be a true positive. You shouldn’t need to squint to see a +OPK. 
Of course, you could be using a brand that I never have, read the directions, & are good to go  

lulu1180

Thanks for mentioning that @jrm_14, I meant to say something and it slipped my mind!  @kiki047 I would definitely check the directions for your OPKs because most of them are not like HPTs where any line=positive but the line has to be as dark as or darker than the control.

As for the thermometer, I know the mabis (the one we generally recommend here) has some mixed reviews on Amazon but it really does work pretty well.  The only thing I will mention is when you turn it on the next time after you temp, the first number displayed is not a previous temp, it's just a number (97.7 or something like that, I don't remember exactly), the second one displayed is your previous temp if you want to wait to document it in FF.  

kiki047

Thanks @lulu1180 and @jrm_14 - I know the lines should be pretty visible so that's why I didn't think I ovulated those months. As much as I wanted to convince myself that my body was cooperating, my brain was going to all those scary, dark places (the kind that make you google crazy things). 

And thank you lulu & @suzycupcakefor the tips on the thermometer. I'm an Amazon junkie so I scour the reviews and wait for sales, etc. If you say mabis works, that's good enough for me! Still learning about all of this so as a newbie I really appreciate your patience. My mom tried to convince me she got pregnant with me "one day" off the pill - she stopped taking them and the next day she was pregnant. lol, ooookay Mom, that's not really how it works but thanks for the good fertility mojo. 

nomangos23

Hi! Not super happy to be here, but super happy to get to know this community. I too have been lurking for a while and getting to know all of the acronyms (omg there are so many) and rules (also which there are many). Mostly it's been really helpful in my constant, frantic research for answers. 

Ages (you and SO): Me 29, him 31

How many months have you been TTC? 10

What are you doing to get knocked up (WAYDTGKU)? FF, CM, OPK, CP

Tell us about yourself! (Kids, pets, job, hobbies, etc.) We actually conceive very easily, but every "trying" cycle ends in loss. Our first we conceived 8/2017 and lost at 21 weeks due to hydrops with plenty of testing and no known cause. Our second was 3/2018 which ended in a CP @ 5 1/2 weeks. Not trying this cycle and have opted to talk to an RE, although I went back and forth on if we should or not, but figured what the hell. Why not? 

When I'm not trying to conceive a healthy baby, I'm snuggling my two fur babes (pitbulls), spending time with hubs at the lake, and traveling for work. And binge watching shows on Amazon Prime. 

I think one of the things that makes me most bitter about TTC is my lack of access to wine when I need 

crookshanks10

@nomangos23 Welcome and happy Friday! I'm sorry to hear about your losses But I know you'll find great support here. 

kiki047

Hi @nomangos23, so sorry to hear about your losses. I was lurking your thread in the TTCAL forum about when to see a specialist, which was something I was wondering too (just out of curiosity, since we haven't been trying for very long). 

On an unrelated note, hello AF this afternoon. Had none of my "usual" symptoms so it caught me off guard, although since I was on CD39 I knew it had to be coming any day now. 

suzycupcake

Welcome @nomangos23 I'm very sorry for your losses. There is a dedicated ttcal thread on these boards with ladies who were immensely supportive of me when I experienced my first loss, fyi in case you are interested. 

mappowell

You nailed how I felt TTC#1 with this sentence...

“I’m just trying to navigate through the pangs of jealousy, mixed with equal parts of fear and guilt.”

I’ve been there...it blows. I’m sorry you are dealing with this now...

My situation was not exactly the same, but I remember not being able to look directly at a pregnant woman without bursting into tears. And if I found out someone we knew was expecting...well it pretty much would destroy me for a few days minimum.

im happy to be an ear whenever needed, I always found lack of people to actually talk to about my feelings (and feeling heard and validated) was always the hardest part.

mappowell

@kiki047You nailed how I felt TTC#1 with this sentence...

“I’m just trying to navigate through the pangs of jealousy, mixed with equal parts of fear and guilt.”

I’ve been there...it blows. I’m sorry you are dealing with this now...

My situation was not exactly the same, but I remember not being able to look directly at a pregnant woman without bursting into tears. And if I found out someone we knew was expecting...well it pretty much would destroy me for a few days minimum.

im happy to be an ear whenever needed, I always found lack of people to actually talk to about my feelings (and feeling heard and validated) was always the hardest part.

navete

Hi everyone! I’ve been lurking a while but figure this is a good time/place to introduce myself.

Ages (you and SO): 34/40

How many months have you been TTC? First month with charting (CM, CP, FF). Just got a basal thermometer so will add temping for next cycle 

What are you doing to get knocked up? Learning about my cycle so we can pin down timing. Also trying not to obsess (I’m prone to that)

Tell us about yourself! (Kids, pets, job, hobbies, etc.) My husband and I have been together for 12 years and only now TTC#1. There’s so much to learn! I am thankful to be part of a community where I can learn from the wisdom and experiences of other women

kiki047

@mappowell aww thank you. Definitely hear you on the feeling "heard and validated" part.
I have so so much respect for all the women who have been TTC for a long time; I have several very close friends who have been through hell and back on their journeys to motherhood, and while they are my inspiration to keep going, they are also one of the biggest sources of my anxiety because here is living proof that things could go so wrong for such wonderful people. 

Hi @royser, I just got my basal thermometer in the mail today too. Have lots to learn still, but grateful that this community has been so welcoming. 

navete

@kiki047 Which thermometer did you go with? I got the Nuvertex from Amazon and I’m a little disappointed with it. It doesn’t beep when it’s done and I wish it was backlit - oops I should’ve researched more before buying.

One advice I got from another forum is to temp vaginally; apparently it’s more accurate and stable. I’m still a bit put off by the idea, so I’m taking both temps for now (oral first, and of course I disinfect with alcohol) in case I want to do just oral temping, and switch out my data on the chart. Anyway, just thought I’d pass that along

kiki047

@navete I went with the Mabis, only on day 2 of using it so not much feedback for you yet but it does beep when it's done. My BF jokes that he should help me take my temp vaginally and I roll my eyes at him but since you've been doing both, do you find there's consistency in the two readings? I mean TBH I think I sleep with my mouth wide open sometimes so maybe a vaginal reading could actually be more accurate, not to mention if I forget to do my reading before I go brush my teeth or drink some water... hmm. Would I use the same thermometer tho? It does specifically say 'oral' on the box.