IF Testing and Treatment-week of 3/12

madspunk

@hlb8179 Sorry for the BFN. My RE really left it up to DH and me about what we wanted to pursue - IUI or IVF. He recommended at least 3 IUIs for our particular situation (no natural ovulation), but if we had wanted to move to IVF after 2, he would have let us.

@ndz2018 That's good you were able to relax. @ndz2018 and @purplg8r I'm still not sure exactly when I'll start treatment again, but probably in about a month.

@Aurora1973 That @adirat is pretty awesome. I was lurking last week and read about all the craziness happening in your life. Wow! Hopefully you are able to just relax and enjoy time with family over this next month.

rallykat14

@AlohaKumu I know exactly what you are feeling.  If you ever need to vent message me,  I'm sorry you have to wait to talk to a professional. 
 After all of my donor eggs disappeared I really started coming to terms with this could be it.   I'm trying to find a focus elsewhere because right now there's really nothing I can do.   I've pulled my head out of my ass and I'm trying  to get in better shape.  I'd love to lose 10-15 pounds,  or at least gain more muscle.   I've turned my focus to eating better and trying to get out and enjoy life more.   While it is so stupid, there is a car I really want but DH doesn't believe it to be practical.   He has said if nothing works by September he will trade his car so I can get that one... Because obviously I don't get anything I really want (baby)  I'm focusing on that car and hoping reverse psychology might jump in and help out. Sigh... But really I'm not fully there but I'm really trying to get back to myself.   I've been a miserable bitter woman through all of this and enough is enough for me.  

50Wife

@rallykat14 I don't blame you one bit for being miserable through all of this.  But I do know being that miserable will just weigh you down after a while and it's just draining.
I personally hope that you don't get that car (sorry!) and that you're able to find something that works for you in the next few months.
I'm still so sorry you're going through all of this.  

Beachbody has an 80 day obsession workout and eating plan that could be a good challenge?  Looks like people are getting incredible results! Just an idea for focus for at least the next 80 days   
I want to do it but I've been lazy AF soooo there's that.

leilee101

@darkstar42 being benched is tough.. I don't think I would have made it out of my ~6 month bench period without the support of my therapist. Good luck finding someone new, it's such an important part of the process!
@50Wife good luck tomorrow at your biopsy! FX you get an all clear for FET!!
@jrm_14 I saw that story too and my heart literally dropped. I cannot imagine that, especially with all it takes to get to that point. I would be out for blood!!
@Augusta108 Happy Belated!!  I totally get your anxiety about hitting a certain age number and worrying that will change things with your fertility, but you are no different than you were yesterday and just keep being positive and take things one cycle at a time
@madspunk glad you're making the best of a treatment break, self-love is so important and can be something that we forget about when all wrapped up in this IF world
@hlb8179 sorry about IUI#1.. I'm due for my first IUI in a week or two and assuming it's not going to work out but I know once it happens it will be next to impossible to not get my hopes up a little. We already have a plan to only do 2 IUIs before heading to IVF, so haven't gotten there yet but that will be our long term plan
@rallykat14 so sorry your DE didn't work out. I just jumped back on this board so I missed alot, but just went back to check your story. That's freakin terrible and I am so sorry.. I know the emotional toll that comes with needing a donor and my heart breaks for you that happened. You're allowed to have bad days, more often than not. I heard about that challenge too, @50Wife .. maybe some of us should think about starting something like that with the girls on this board? I could certainly use some accountability myself!

Spoiler: Loss mentioned

::TW:: I think we have all felt jealousy at some point when friends get pregnant super easily.. either an "oops" or on their first try. My best friend just got pregnant with her second a few months ago, literally the first month she started trying. She was complaining that she didn't want it to happen so fast because they are working to buy a bigger house. I was inwardly bitter about it and I tried to be supportive but it gets really hard, as I'm sure all of you can relate. She lost the baby on Monday and I am plagued with guilt over it. I know I didn't do anything wrong, but just the sheer fact that I ever thought anything about how it's not fair, "must be nice" type thoughts ..ugh I feel sick to my stomach and hurting for her so badly. Sorry, just needed to rant this out ::TW::

linzrunz

@madspunk I love your H's response.  My H doesn't want people to know about our IF struggles (and part of me doesn't either), but if I ever decide to respond to a random person who asks, I'm so using that.  I thought I was doing better with the side effects...and maybe I am?  But the past couple of days have been crazy with the nausea and stomach issues again.  My anxiety has also been high lately so that could be it too.

@AlohaKumu Checking in on you friend.  How's everything going?  Were you able to get an appointment with a counselor?

@50Wife @rallykat14 +1 on the awesome results from 80DO.  A few of my friends are doing it and they're looking amazing.  I'm with 50wife though and I'm lazy AF right now.  My BOD just renewed (oops?), so I should probably get off my ass and do something.

Also, @rallykat14 - Big hugs your way. You have every right to be down and miserable, but I'm so glad that you're trying to pull yourself out of it.  Hang in there.  You are doing amazing.

50Wife

@linzrunz My BOD is up in the next few months so I figured maybe I should start using it lol. Right now I'm doing a yoga program on there.  Hey, it's something, right??
I want to do 80 day obsession bad though just because of how drastic and quick the results are. I mean, it's because of REALLY hard work. But I want to be that badass.

linzrunz

@50Wife Yes exactly!  I want to be badass too!  haha A couple years ago I did one round of 21df and I stuck to it 100%.  Ok, 99%.  I did all of the workouts and only had two cheats the entire three weeks.  Holy crap the difference was amazing.  I was starting to get abs!  I wish I could find that motivation again.

50Wife

@linzrunz I did the same! I lost 7 lbs in 21 days! Their programs definitely work if you put in the work.

AlohaKumu

@rallykat14 I'll definitely be sending you a message later today
@linzrunz I called my insurance company yesterday and the consult/referral went through. They gave me the number of a counselor and I left a message. Hopefully she calls back today and I can get an appointment soon.

purplg8r

@50Wife @linzrunz I want to do 80 day obsession or start at Orangetheory but my RE said no exercise that’s too strenuous and I worry that those are. (So I even worry about pushing too hard in my runs). Have you guys heard anything about that?

50Wife

@purplg8r is this just during the TWW or during treatment in general that you're RE said that? Before stims and my ER I asked if I could work out (but lolz i didn't move my ass off of the sofa each night) and he said I could. 

jrm_14

@purplg8r During IUI cycles, I was told nothing strenuous & don’t start anything new. Oh, and no vigorous jumping (with the example of jump roping) .... Dontou work or currently?  

@50wife 40% protein is hard!!  This morning I ate cashews thinking I’d watch the protein portion of the pie grow. Holy carbs in those things!! Eta: Yoga is good!  It’s great for the mind & body. It’s better than nothing. And if sitting your ass on the couch is what it takes to make it through all of this, that’s better than being more self destructive. 

I decided on Monday I’m going to workout 50 times before IVF in July. 48 more to go!  

@leilee101 TW- loss

I completely see where you are coming from feeling guilty. Feeings have so much power, yet they don’t. Your feeings were not wrong and they certainly did not cause her to miscarry (both of which your logical self knows!). ((Stranger hugs))

AlohaKumu

Well, I think I made it a whopping 45 seconds into my IVF consult meeting with the NP before crying. Everyone was really kind and compassionate today, but this time crunch is a bummer. I guess the doctor is leaving on vacation tomorrow until the end of April, so I’m going to lose a cycle. She also said that the doctor would want to do two cycles for ERA if we wanted to pursue that testing. She also wants a battery of other tests, like an HSG and additional bloodwork. So basically, I either have time to do my testing and then I would have to leave or I chance it and do the transfer without an ERA. And there’s a potential I would be switching insurance again depending on what my job allows. I have time to decide, but I really want that testing done. FML

suzycupcake

Diagnosis (if you've been): Pcos, low p in tww

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): Wto

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): 4th iui. Did 5 days of femara. Going in for my u/s tomorrow to find out when I trigger. Using novarel this time. 

How are things going?: Okay I guess. Trying to gear up for hio sessions. I hope we can get good timing like last cycle. I'm a bit worried about it. I also hope that the increase in the femara dose will get us more than one follicle this time on followup. 

Any questions?: Does anyone in here have experience taking novarel? 10,000iu seems like an awful lot compared to what I was using when I triggered with ovidrel and O was confirmed previously each time. Also, do I put it in the refrigerator after I mix it myself? I'm not refrigerating the powder and bacteriostatic water unmixed because the powder says to keep at room temperature. Am I supposed to be refrigerating the water though? I received no instructions. I know I can ask during my u/s tomorrow but I wanna know now! 

GTKY: What is the best (non-TTC) advice you have gotten? Your time is valuable. You don't have to control/DIY  everything. Sometimes hiring other people to do things is worth it to save your time and reduce your stress levels. 

RVAmom315

@suzycupcake When I took Novarel I only took 5000 units and refrigerated the mixture afterwards. When I took Ovidrel I took 10,000 units and tossed the rest (mostly the water)

50Wife

@AlohaKumu I'm sorry this is all crap you're dealing with. I know the whole timing would suck but I'd definitely do whatever testing they throw at you. Especially if this is going to be your last shot. At least you'd know that you did absolutely everything possible and wouldn't look back asking 'what if' if God forbid this doesn't work 
Good luck friend 

AFM...
Had my endometrial biopsy today. Took two seconds. Slightly uncomfortable while he did it and now I'm a bit crampy but not bad
PIO is done!! Suppositories are being cut back to just one each night and estrace is one pill twice daily until Sunday. They want to make sure I have a 28 day cycle and they also don't want me to get my period before they get my results 
So I'm really hoping that come next week we have the green light to move forward and actually do our transfer!! Eek!

ndz2018

@50Wife Are you going right into your FET when you get AF? I’m expecting mine next week too! Already feeling crampy and bitchy.

50Wife

@ndz2018 As long as the results look ok from today...yes!!! So if I stop progesterone Sunday night, hopefully I'll get AF on Wednesday and then get ready to start!
Hopefully we're both good to get moving next week! 

ndz2018

@50Wife We may be FET buddies!!  i know when I stopped the progesterone pills last month it was a Sat night and on Monday morning started spotting by Mon afternoon it was full flow!  Hope your test comes back perfect !!

leilee101

@AlohaKumu agreed with @50Wife that it's worth it to take the time for additional testing. I know how you feel about the time crunch, the longer this all drags on the more depressing it gets. I can't even imagine having been trough multiple failed attempts on top of everything we have been through. But in the grand scheme of things, it's been almost 2 years, what's another couple months? Easier said, of course. I am thinking of you. 
Side note: who takes a month vacation!? 

Avrilmai

@AlohaKumu this all sucks. I hate that you have to go through all of this. The highs of the excitement of doing a transfer and the the horrible despair that followed. Only you and your DH can make the final decision. If it were me, I think I would do the additional testing. It is such a hard choice to make with the time crunch, but I think I would do the testing because of what @50Wife said, to give yourself your best chance. The "what if" thoughts can be really harmful and I don't want you to have to go through that too. Sending you all the strength to make it through this and if you ever need to chat/vent/whatever, you know we're here, I'm here and will gladly listen.  (also, I'm impressed you made it 45 seconds, I don't know that I would be able to stop crying and tears are a  perfectly fine way to express how you feel)

suzycupcake

@AlohaKumu I agree with the others. What I tell myself is to just do it and get it done because then at least if a cycle fails, it isn't anything that I did or didn't do--not that it would actually be my fault, but this is how I calm myself. I'm sorry. Battery of tests is overwhelming. Can yh or a friend go with you for the tests?

AlohaKumu

@50Wife @leilee101 @Avrilmai @suzycupcake I am feeling a bit better this morning. I know that if you get a blister while doing a marathon, you just need to find a way to keep going until you get to the end. I've made a chart for myself of all the testing I need to get done. I had a feeling I would need to fly back here for the transfer anyway, so maybe it will give me some peace that I can get everything moved first and then can focus on the transfer. (Also, total side-eye to the doctor for taking a five week vacay. Rude.)

@50Wife I'm so glad to hear that the ERA wasn't so bad! I hope you get good news from the results and AF cooperates. I am rooting so hard for your transfer!

suzycupcake

@AlohaKumu You made a chart. What a perfect way to reduce the stress and anxiety! Total side eye especially when you're flying all over carnation to do it. Is it absolutely required that this particular doctor be present to do the transfer? I've not done ivf and with iui, my RE has never done the actual procedure. It's probably totally different with ivf? Forgive any ignorance, don't they just shoot the embies through a catheter?

AlohaKumu

@suzycupcake I'm going to be moving across the country this summer, so that throws a major wrench in everything. I don't want to take the risk of shipping the frozen embryos with me, so I would have to have a doctor here to do the transfer. (Unfortunately, because of my current insurance, it probably does require this specific doctor to do the transfer, especially since I'm unwilling to move the embryos elsewhere.) If I was going through a completely new IVF cycle, then I could just wait until after the move, but I really don't have it in me to do another round. So as of right now, it looks like I'll probably do a whole slew of testing over the next few months, move all my stuff, and then fly back for a couple weeks for the FET.

jrm_14

@AlohaKumu What I hear you saying is that it sucks.  You know the testing is best.  You’re going to do it. However, if f*ing sucks that you are here, that this blister popped up, the timing, everything. All the hugs & well wishes. 

suzycupcake

@AlohaKumu Can you check to make sure on that? Ugh. I'm so sorry. What a nightmare! I wonder if they have an embryo flight service so you don't have to go back. I have a friend who went to Cancun for a month to a clinic and the cost of freezing and flying her embies anywhere she wants in the future was included in the ivf price.

beachbunnyxo123

Hiiiii sorry I’m so late here this week!! Work has been slammed and me and DH are going away for the weekend tomorrow so I’ve been even busier trying to get 5 days of work done in 4 days. I’m on mobile so it’s hard to tag but lovetits to all 

Diagnosis (if you've been): unexplained/poor responder 

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): TWW
 
What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?):
had my FET last Wednesday, beta tomorrow 

How are things going?:
theyve been good since I’ve been busy at work. This is definitely a tough wait 

Any questions?: nope 

GTKY: What is the best (non-TTC) advice you have gotten?
dont put work first. Which I’ve always done and have really been working on adjusting lately! 

jrm_14

@beachbunnyxo123 Hiiiiiii!!!!!!  I was wondering how your wait was going!  FX for tomorrow!  I hope you two have an enjoyable weekend away. 

50Wife

@beachbunnyxo123 good luck tomorrow!!! 

madspunk

@linzrunz That sucks you are still having some nausea and stomach issues. I've heard metformin can be tough. Hopefully the symptoms start subsiding soon, or hopefully the stomach issues and nausea you're having now are unrelated to the metformin. Either way - hopefully you are in good health soon! 

@jrm_14 That's my favorite way to set workout goals: X amount of times by X date. Good luck with your working out!

@AlohaKumu Ugh, I'm sorry that the timing isn't working out for you. FWIW I would do the testing too and then fly back for the transfer. Even though it really sucks. I wish the timing had worked out right for you. 

@50Wife I'm glad your endometrial biopsy wasn't too bad! FX for good results!

@beachbunnyxo123 I'm so excited for tomorrow! I can't believe you haven't tested yet! FX for some very good news.

linzrunz

jrm_14 said:

@AlohaKumu What I hear you saying is that it sucks.  You know the testing is best.  You’re going to do it. However, if f*ing sucks that you are here, that this blister popped up, the timing, everything. All the hugs & well wishes. 

This exactly.  Sending you hugs @AlohaKumu

@beachbunnyxo123 FX for a good beta tomorrow!!!

Aurora1973

@beachbunnyxo123 I have my FX so hard for you, friend!!!  GL tomorrow!!!

@AlohaKumu All the hugs.  +1 to what everyone said about testing, but mostly I offer so many hugs.  

@rallykat14 I was MIA when everything happened, and I just read it.  Oh holy shit.  I'm so so sorry you're going through this.  You've been dealt too many blows, and I just want to send you all the hugs, too.  Also, once again, I have to post this for too many of my friends, but the universe deserves it for putting you through this:



@50wife Hope you get great results and things get moving quickly 

rallykat14

@Aurora1973 I love that gif... It's my favorite and so appropriate!  

ndz2018

Wow lots to catch up on!! 

@beachbunnyxo123 FX SO HARD FOR YOU TODAY!!!

emmasemm

Sorry I didn’t make it so far this week.
@beachbunnyxo123 Fx for you 
@jrm_14 @alohakumu @rallykat14 @aurora1973 hugs to you all and those else who really need them this week

Diagnosis (if you've been): DOR AMA autoimmune and doing more testing

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): TWW

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): Testing and trying on our own

How are things going?: Waiting for results from Karyotyping and Haematologist still, probably another 10-14 days. Think I had a weak ovulation again this month, LH surge was not like normal and temps a bit muted. Let’s see. Was a crazy stressful week, work is crazy, DH was a nit wit and caused me a lot of stress, still got this damn thesis to write and still issues with my leg from last week’s injury. But right now I’m at the hairdresser and going out for dinner.

Any questions?: Nope

GTKY: What is the best (non-TTC) advice you have gotten? Advice itself, not really sure. 

suzycupcake

Ladies, I need some input about something while I'm waiting for my nurse to get back to me. The last 3 iui cycles, I got a prefilled ovidrel syringe, was taught to pinch skin on my stomach below and to the side of my belly button. To push the needle all the way in and push the plunger slowly. No problems every time.

This cycle, I'm given novarel. I had to mix it myself, take off the mixing needle and put on a smaller needle that seems to be the same needle size as ovidrel for injection. I checked the gauges for both online. I injected the way I was taught before and everything was fine. Last night, a few hours after I did it, my stomach muscle started feeling tender and hurt to use it right where I did the injection. Today, the muscle is a lot more tender and still hurts to use it. 

That would seem to me that the needle went into the muscle. Is there anything to be concerned about? I know these injections can be taken in the skin or in the muscle to still work, but what about the stomach? And why did this happen this time but not the other times with the same sized needle?

Eta: I used an opk test and there is a nice and dark surge, darker than the control line so I guess the medication got into my system and I'll have to deal with this stomach muscle until it heals. It hurts to use it though, which means walking around, sitting up, laying down, coughing and sneezing lol good lord......

purplg8r

@50Wife I asked about it during my initial consult and was told that. After my IUI I asked if I could run at all and they said yes, just nothing that would put stress on my body. I’m having a hard time knowing what that would be and I’m glad the biopsy went well. Hopefully the results come back soon so you can get the next step going!

@jrm_14 yeah, I’m a runner. I’m not fast but I like to push myself a lot of times I run to be just a little bit faster.  And then during races, I always push hard. But not sure that’s allowed. 

@AlohaKumu what’s ERA again? And yeah, the time crunch really really sucks. But I think you should do the testing—that way you have no regrets. 

@suzycupcake hopefully you’re ready to go!  

@beachbunnyxo123 thinking of you today!

@emmasemm waiting is the worst!

AlohaKumu

@purplg8r An ERA is basically when they have to take all your fertility meds for a cycle and take a biopsy. This tells them if your protocol is correct or if you need start your progesterone before/after the typical window. Recent studies have shown that up to 25% of women don't have implantation done on the right day based on how they respond to the meds, so I want to be sure that's not what's been happening for me.

Thanks for all the virtual hugs.

purplg8r

@AlohaKumu so it’s pretty much like a mock cycle right?  I didn’t realize there was a name for it—sorry about that!