IF Testing and Treatment-week of 3/12

Avrilmai

This is a place for those of us who have already started TTC, but have started infertility testing and/or treatments. You can express your thoughts, feelings, and frustrations on infertility. TTC can be a long journey naturally, then add in the difficulties associated with infertility, and it becomes a whole new ball game. The road to infertility can be lonely, frustrating, and complicated, so let's make this a place where we can vent, ask questions, and support one another. Feel free to resurrect this thread at any point in the week if you have something to say. Treat this as an ongoing conversation. 

Diagnosis (if you've been):

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA):

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?):

How are things going?:

Any questions?:

GTKY: What is the best (non-TTC) advice you have gotten?

Avrilmai

Diagnosis (if you've been): Unexplained

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): WFAF

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): finally, finally starting treatment. (Letrozole, trigger, IUI)

How are things going?: I'm a ball of nervous energy. just waiting for AF to get here so I can call for my CD3 u/s. I'm excited to be doing something else, but also realistically know that it may not be successful. It can be so difficult to manage hope. 

Any questions?: any suggestions for calming the nerves and not getting my hopes up too high? I know logically that this may not work so I'm working to manage expectations

GTKY: What is the best (non-TTC) advice you have gotten? Travel, see the world, and don't let any one person or one thing stop you from doing it. (I remember hearing this when I was about 10 and it really stuck with me.)

RVAmom315

@avrilmai I don't really have any advice for calming your nerves, but it's OK to have high hopes. It's important to stay positive during this journey, even though it can be difficult at times. But it's always exciting to have a plan, and I hope that it works out for you!

Diagnosis (if you've been): Secondary IF, AMA, MFI

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): TWW

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): On our own

How are things going?: Good. O'd yesterday and got some sneaky sex in while the whole family was staying with us (good times!) Of course always hoping each cycle will work, but if not, have the SIS, trial transfer and B/W to look forward to next cycle!

Any questions?:

GTKY: What is the best (non-TTC) advice you have gotten? You have to live with yourself your entire life, learn to love yourself.

ndz2018

Diagnosis (if you've been): MFI

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): WFAF /FET

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): Nothing much this cycle. Just waiting for AF to get here so we can start the FET process 

How are things going?: Good! Can’t complain... had a fantastic weekend. I meant to track O this cycle mainly to see when I did so I can See when AF is supposed to get here BUT I’m pretty sure I missed It considering today is CD 22 I got So busy last week and we were staying at my moms and I kept Forgetting to test so I’m just gonna have to guess and hope AF shows up next week sometime like it’s supposed to but we all know how that goes...:. When you want AF to show up it never does

Any questions?: nope 

GTKY: What is the best (non-TTC) advice you have gotten? Probably to let go of anger.


@RVAmom315 Sneaky sex is kinda hot lol

@Avrilmai Wohoo for starting! I also have to agree stay positive but also be a realist ..I know Easier said than done! 

AlohaKumu

Diagnosis (if you've been): MFI/WTF

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): Limbo-ish?

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): I’m going to have an IVFWTF/consult with my new insurance on Wednesday. I want to start being active again, but realistically, I know I need more testing before another transfer.

How are things going?:
*TW loss*

It’s been really tough over the past few months. Emotionally, I’ve been a mess. The silliest, smallest things will trigger me and I am reduced to tears and sadness. There doesn’t seem to be any reason for our CP or failed transfer. We have decided that if our final FET doesn’t work, that we will not be continuing with further IVF treatments. I just can’t take any more of this. I know I should have hope for our last two embryos, but honestly, I’m mentally preparing for this to be the end of our journey. I asked for a referral for a counselor and they said I should expect the clearance to come through in 1-2 weeks. I hope I can see someone soon, since I’m obviously not okay.

Since I’ll be working with a new medical team after our insurance switch, I sent over a list of medical records prior to the IVFWTF meeting. I included a cover page with the dates of all our procedures and what I want to have done. I’m hoping for an ERA, RPL, and endometrial scratch before the next FET. I also have a limited timeline before moving, so I hope we can get it all done.

Any questions?: No questions, but thank you so much for all your sweet messages of encouragement while I’ve been lurking.

GTKY: What is the best (non-TTC) advice you have gotten? Wear sunscreen

leilee101

@Avrilmai on my first IUI with letrozole and trigger, too! Re managing expectations: I'm basically just assuming it won't work so I can't get disappointed lol.. but still remaining hopeful. "Expect the worst but hope for the best" has become my IF manta at this point. 
@RVAmom315 Happy to see you guys have a plan for June... lil sex in the interim def couldn't hurt tho
@ndz2018 waiting for AF is the worst and seems so counterintuitive to this process.. but so exciting you have a FET right around the bend
@AlohaKumu Hello old friend (formally leilak9288).. I'm so sorry to see you still on this thread and to see that you've been having such a hard time. It's not fair that after everyone we have to go through with MFI, to see things continue to go wrong. You have always been such a positive and shining force on this board and I hate to see that this journey is taking you to a dark place.. please take care of yourself and message me if you ever want to talk. Are you guys planning to use your last two embabies for one transfer after testing to increase odds? 

Diagnosis (if you've been): azoospermia

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): WFIUI

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): I had posted a couple weeks back about finally emerging from a 6 month bump hiatus, and being unsure about if we would be able to get an IUI in this cycle d/t a trip coming up mid cycle. AF showed up a few days early, so looks like we will be able to move forward this cycle after all. Just had my first monitoring yesterday, it honestly feel surreal that we are finally at a point of forward momentum. We need to use donor sperm so there is an added layer of complexity/logistics at play, but overall just trying to stay calm.

How are things going?: Exciting about finally moving forward, but also freaking out a little that we've made such a big decision and are finally doing it

Any questions?: Not today

GTKY: What is the best (non-TTC) advice you have gotten? Treat yo self

linzrunz

@Avrilmai "It can be so difficult to manage hope."  Yes.  That.  Times a million.  I have no advice because I still don't know how to balance everything.  One minute I'm suggesting potential baby names to H and the next I'm telling myself it's never going to happen.  It's so hard to find that middle ground.  

@AlohaKumu I am so sorry.  I really hope you are able to get into see a counselor soon.  I've been seeing a therapist once a week since September for IF reasons but also for my general depression and anxiety.  It hasn't made things 100% easier, but it's nice having someone to talk to about everything.  She most just helps me process things.  I just want to remind you that you are amazing and you are loved.  Hang in there. 

Diagnosis (if you've been): IR PCOS

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): FW maybe?

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?):  Just the usual.  Also, on Metformin.

How are things going?: This weekend sucked.  Mostly just Saturday.  I have pretty bad anxiety and one of my biggest triggers are social situations.  My friend's bridal shower was Saturday and I spaced it until the night before, so no mental preparation at all.  H and I fought that more before, and I know it was mostly because I was on edge before the shower.  I got ready and drove over with one of my best friends.  I kept telling myself "well at least it isn't a baby shower".  Ha.  Might as well been one.  There was a mom of a newborn there and literally everyone was ooing and ahhing over the baby, asking me if I wanted to hold her, etc.  I avoided it as much as possible.  Then at one point, one of the ladies there asked me if I wanted another.  All I could say was "maybe".  Her reaction: "You DO?!?"     I tried to change the subject.  All of that plus my normal social anxiety...it took all my energy to not cry.  As soon as I got home, the flood gates opened and I basically spent the rest of the day in bed.

So that, plus the time change, plus insomnia, and I'm pretty cranky today.  But I guess some good news?  I had EWCM starting super early for me on like CD10, so I'm kinda hopeful that this cycle might be a normal one!

Any questions?: Nope

GTKY: What is the best (non-TTC) advice you have gotten?  My daddy always tells me that hindsight is 20/20.  Meaning, the shoulda/woulda/coulda's aren't going to do you any good and you can't predict the future.  Sometimes you've got to suck it up and try not to beat yourself up over things that happen, especially when they aren't in your control.

purplg8r

@Avrilmai I have my FX for you that this first IUI works for you!  And if you find a way not to get your hopes up, please let me know!

@RVAmom315 yay for getting sneaky sex in!

@ndz2018 stinks that you don’t know when AF is coming but losing track of time meant it probably went by faster 

@AlohaKumu I’m so sorry that you’ve been having such a rough time. I hope your insurance comes through and you can get in to see a counselor soon 

@leilee101 I hope this IUI works for you!!

@linzrunz ugh about the shower.  That’s tough and it was none of that lady’s business!  Hopefully you have a regular cycle this time!!

Diagnosis (if you've been): AMA, ovulation dysfunction 

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): TWW I guess

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): IUI #1 today. 

How are things going?: H’s numbers were good. I really don’t think IUIs are going to work so I’m trying really hard to keep my hopes low but I’m not sure it’s working. 

Any questions?:

GTKY: What is the best (non-TTC) advice you have gotten? Sometimes you just have to say no (still working on that one)

jrm_14

@Avrilmai Your treatment cycle is almost here!  It can be difficult to manage hope vs realistic expectations vs hopelessness. I hope you have a supportive H.

@RVAmom315  It looks like I will be with you on improving health until IVF this summer. Hopefully, you’ll be successful before then, though!  What all are you focusing on, specifically?  I want to lose weight, increase fresh vegetables, and maintain regular workouts. 

@AlohaKumu  A lot of things suck, but what sucks is when you want & need support from a professional & youvhave to wait for approval. Like, mmmmmk, I will just put my feeings in hold to be validated by some nameless person to approve them. Jerks. Sorry- soapbox. I hope that approval comes through quickly. ((Hugs))

@linzrunz Sorry about the crappy time at the shower Being on edge about anticipated triggers and then arguing with the SO makes it worse. Hopefully you had a better Sunday. 

Diagnosis (if you've been): Adrenal/ovarian/progesterone/MFI issues. 

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): Benched. 

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): Nothing. 

How are things going?:  Still in a funk. Hormones are raging. I’m grumpy AF. This weekend, we went to frienemy’s for dinner. People who struggle w/ IF & have had a loss & still don’t have any empathy or make it all a competition boggle my mind. Go away, you can “worse.”  

Any questions?: How do I mentally & physically prepare for IVF?  I’m doing as much as I can handle from ISWTE. I have lowered my caffeine intake (hope to be down to only coffee on weekends soon). I take ubiqunol & workout 3x/week (minus last week). My BMI is in the upper limits of normal (24.5). Sleep is likely my next goal to tackle. What else can I do??  I need a checklist so I feel like I’m in control  

GTKY: Always write a thank-you note.
eta: & always wear cat socks on important days;) 

ndz2018

@purplg8r FX IUI#1 Im really Hoping 1 is all you need! I know trying to keep positive in this whole process is hard but keep your head up doll!!! 

@linzrunz Oh man!!!  I’m so sorry you have to go through that! I avoid showers like the plague bridal/baby doesn’t matter and not for nothing people really suck sometimes!! When are people going to learn that 1 in 8 couples suffer from infertility and that in a room full of women someone is dealing with it in one way or another. 

@leilee101 Awesome that you guys are able to fit your IUI in!! Going anywhere fun??

@AlohaKumu I’m so sorry this is happening to you. When bad things happen it makes it hard to stay positive however I think, personally, seeing some one is a great move. I think everyone at one point or another in their lives should talk to someone. 

jrm_14

@purplg8r GL at the IUI today!!  

RVAmom315

@jrm_14 I'm mainly focusing on eating better and working out. I have a lot of weight to lose (if I didn't have a "deadline" I honestly would like to lose at least another 50 lbs) I'm taking a prenatal with folate, ubiquinol and vitamin D (I legit googled "best vitamins for egg quality" and those 3 are the ones that popped up. I followed the links to the "best" of each and just got those off Amazon). I asked my RE if I should be taking anything more, less, etc and he said that was great. I don't drink alcohol, I do VERY minimal caffeine (I only drink 1 caf green tea everyday which is only about 20mg), and have completely cut out soda. I try to eat out of BPA free containers, glass. I work out about 4-5x/week (99% cardio because I hate lifting weights). I'm trying to eat more veggies but god it's hard. I hate veggies lol. I prefer fruit. I'm working on just protein and fruit/veggies. I think you have a great start going!

50Wife

@Avrilmai I wish there was something I could tell you that would calm you down and not have your hopes up. If I find a way, I'll let you know!  I really really hope this is it for you! 
@RVAmom315 I really hope this works for you on your own, but if not...I'm really glad that you have a great game plan in place!
@ndz2018 Yassssss FET! Let's go!!!!!
@AlohaKumu I really just want to give you a hug. I hope it all works out for you and these last embryos were the ones meant to be your little babes.  I've got everything crossed for you girl.  I know it's not the same, but we're always here for you if you need someone to talk to.
@leilee101 Good luck this cycle!! Just deciding to move forward is a huge step. It feels like a weight has been lifted having a plan.
@linzrunz Ugh, I'm sorry about the shit time at the shower.  I wish people would mind their own fucking business.
@purplg8r Ah TWW!!! Good luck!!!
@jrm_14 Girl I'm sorry you're facing IVF!  So what I've gotten from my doc: take vitamin D, a prenatal, extra folic acid, and CoQ10.  He wanted me at 40+% protein and less than 30% carbs daily (I use my fitness pal and you can view a pie chart to confirm). I had a nutrition consult and received a PDF with just some more details about what to eat/not eat. I can email it to you if you want to PM me your email address.
My Dr's HUGE thing was diet. Protein, protien, protein.  
I also did the whole glass container, Native deodorant, natural shampoo/conditioner/body wash prior to my ER. 


Diagnosis (if you've been): MFI - Low Count

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): WFFET

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): Still going strong with PIO and estrace.  Endometrial biopsy on Thursday and hopefully I'll get the all clear to do my actual FET cycle next!

How are things going?: Ok I guess.  I had a rough night and morning but I'm just trucking along hoping this is worth it.
Just putting it out there that I don't think the PIO shots are anything to be scared of!  I feared Menopur more than PIO.  I'm just a tad sore with bruises from 2 of the shots I guess I didn't rub enough after with the heating pad on them.  So just a bit of hope for anyone who will be doing PIO.

Any questions?: Is this over yet?

GTKY: What is the best (non-TTC) advice you have gotten? Well, I've noticed that you guys have people in your lives that actually give advice lol. I can't think of anything! But I like everything you ladies have shared.

purplg8r

@jrm_14 ok. This is gonna sound cheesy. But I kinda feel like all us IF people are a team. We get each other. And to hear your “friend” is still competitive about it is just wrong. 

@50Wife I’ll be thinking of you on Thursday!

Augusta108

@Avrilmai, I hear you on the trying to keep hope somewhat in check...I’m struggling with that myself. But I am excited for you that you’re done waiting for a bit and are going to get to start treatment. I hope the IUI is all you need!

@RVAmom315, glad the sneaky sex worked out, lol.

@ndz2018, I hope AF shows up on schedule so you can get closer to that FET!

@AlohaKumu, I’m sorry you’ve been struggling so much. It’s so hard and unfair that sometimes these things don’t work and we can’t get quick,  clear answers as to why. I am rooting so hard for your last embryos and that you can get all the testing you need to have done before the last FET to give you the highest chances of success. *hugs*

@leilee101, that’s great that things worked out for you to go ahead with the IUI this cycle!

@linzrunz, I get social anxiety too and that shower sounds really rough. I hope you were able to devote some time to self-care afterwards.

@purplg8r, FX for a successful IUI!

@jrm_14, I’m sorry you’re joining the IVF group in this thread, I know it’s super overwhelming. I had the same impulse to make a huge checklist of things to do so I could feel like I had some control. I even tried to get my RE to give me more things to do, but he said just to take a daily aspirin, a prenatal vitamin, and CoQ10...hmph, beginners’ stuff.

@50Wife, I appreciate the reassurance about the PIO shots, I am definitely intimidated by them! I hope everything goes smoothly with the biopsy on Thursday.


Diagnosis: Dual factor, Severe oligospermia and Low AMH

Status: WFIVF

What are you doing this cycle? : At this point, just waiting to start IVF next cycle.

How are things going? : I’m hanging in there. I turned 35 yesterday, which hit me harder than I’d expected. I’m trying to remind myself that it’s not as though my body somehow knew I turned 35 and immediately drastically decreased my fertility! But still, I really thought I would be pregnant by now and am discouraged that I’m not. On a brighter note, I told my boss about IVF last week and she took it really well and told me to be sure to take all the time off I need. It turns out she had to do an IUI to have her first child, so she’s very sympathetic.

Any questions? Nope!

GTKY: What’s the best non-TTC advice you’ve been given? My grandpa told me to always have a cookie with breakfast to start your day on a sweet note. I don’t follow this advice very often because, unlike him, I don’t farm all day to work off those cookie calories. But I still think it’s pretty great advice. 

darkstar42

@Avrilmai I’m excited that you finally get to do an IUI! I have no advice for keeping the hope/nerves at bay, but let me know if you figure out how to do it!

@RVAmom315 Yay for good timing and sneaky sex!

@ndz2018 Your FET is getting so close! Exciting!

@AlohaKumu Huge hugs and fx you get in to see a counselor soon! This process is so hard, and I can’t even imagine what you’ve just gone through. You are a superhero for still being on your feet.

@linzrunz Your Saturday sounds incredibly rough. *hugs* Do you have things planned for this week to do some self-care? Fx this is a normal cycle for you!

@purplg8r Yay for IUI #1! I’m so hopeful for you!

@jrm_14 Regarding your advice, I’m totally wearing cat socks right now. MH and I have started researching IVF a bit, so you and I may end up in the same boat here. I’m struggling to make good habits around eating and exercise, so I think it’s awesome how much great stuff you’re already doing!

@50Wife So excited that you’re that much closer to your FET cycle! FX all goes well with the biopsy.

@Augusta108 That’s a pretty awesome piece of advice! IF definitely makes birthdays harder. *hugs* Hang in there.

Mmyles87

Oops. Ignore this. Posted on accident 

darkstar42

Diagnosis (if you've been): unexplained, AMA

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): WFAF (we've been benched this cycle)

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): Nada. Trying on our own next cycle, and then trying another IUI with a new protocol.

How are things going?: Pretty crappy. I thought being benched for a month would be a relief and would help with the stress, but I've still been fairly depressed. I've been looking into getting a therapist, but unfortunately found out today that the person I want to see (have seen her in the past and know I like her) is out of network, and would cost far more than I can afford. Time to search for a different option, which makes me sad. I had a meltdown with MH the other day to try to get him to understand what I'm going through emotionally with IF, so I do feel like he gets it a bit more now. Or at least gets that it's bigger than he can really grasp. We've also agreed to get more information about IVF, so that's something. I'm still not sure we can manage it, financially, but I want to know what kind of cost we'd be looking at and what our financing options are.

Any questions?: Nothing right now.

GTKY: What is the best (non-TTC) advice you have gotten? It's ok to ask questions. Remember that no one else knows what they're doing either.

jrm_14

@darkstar42 If we are being honest, I have in cat socks more days than I don’t Isn’t YH’s test coming up soon? And I’m struggling with eating habits hardcore. It’s difficult to maintain balance. 

@purplg8r I agree about the IF team!  IF is so isolating. Why further isolate yourself by making others feel not as “bad”?  You then lose out on the opportunity for genuine human connection. 

@Augusta108 Remind me- are you natural start or BCP IVF?  It’s nice to hear it seems like I’m doing all I can right now. (But I still want a checklist!). 

@50wife YGPM soon Is the endometrial biopsy the same as a receptivity assay?  

50Wife

@jrm_14 I believe it's the same thing! I didn't even know what any of that was until you ladies mentioned it on here. My doc just kept saying mock cycle and biopsy of my lining but that was as technical as he got with me!

Augusta108

@darkstar42, I’m sorry the month off hasn’t been as much of an emotional break as you had hoped and that things aren’t going to work out with the therapist you wanted. Insurance requirements can be such a pain! 

@jrm_14, I’m supposed to call on my next CD1 to start BCP. But the big baseline kickoff appointment should be about a week after that, so I don’t think I’ll be on BCP very long...

purplg8r

@Augusta108 happy belated birthday!  I feel ya on the age thing!  It can be hard to hit a milestone birthday and not be where you thought you would be.  Hugs. 

@darkstar42 I’m sorry  your month break has you still feeling down. I hope you can find someone to talk to that you’re comfortable with 

50Wife

@Augusta108 happy birthday! I'm glad the conversation went well with your boss and she understands what's going on. I was glad I told manager prior to our first IUI. It made coming into the office late 2-3 out of 5 days feel ok and like I wasn't hiding something. 
PS I love your grandpas advice!!! If I didn't sit my ass at a desk all day I'd probably start that up! 

@darkstar42 I'm sorry you're having a rough time with everything. And that sucks about your therapist. I hope you can find someone else that you love!! 
I've also had a few meltdowns with my husband and just letting him know how I'm feeling. It's a lot on us physically and mentally and I don't think they fully grasp what we're going through until we're in full on melt down mode. I hope IVF if something you can afford. Did you see my post last week about reviewing your RE on fertility IQ? They're giving away two $10,000 grants to use towards IVF! It's worth a shot-someone's gotta win! that could get things moving for you. 
I also love your advice. It's perfect and so damn true!

darkstar42

@jrm_14 Oh, you know I'm right there with you on the cat socks! Today I'm wearing knee socks with mewnicorns (kitties with unicorn horns). MH does have the penetration assay in a couple of weeks. I just scheduled it today, so it feels good to have that on the books. Eating habits are the hardest! I was using myfitnesspal for a while, but got out of the habit. Maybe I'll start it back up tomorrow.
@Augusta108 Dealing with insurance is truly the worst!
@purplg8r Thanks for the support.
@50Wife I did see that post and I posted a review of my RE! PM me if you want me to tell them who referred me, and then you can potentially win $2,500. I'll also be applying for several IVF grants, so fx on that too!

AlohaKumu

@Avrilmai That's so exciting that you get to start treatment. I know how hard it is to manage hope with statistics, but I'm always rooting that our IF ladies are on the lucky side of the numbers!
@RVAmom315 Ooo, sneaky sex! It sounds like you have good plans lined up if this cycle doesn't work.
@ndz2018 I hope AF shows up right on time so you can get everything going. Yes, I agree that counseling is extremely beneficial when you can find a provider who really listens and works with your thought processes. I wish there wasn't such a national shortage of mental health providers!
@leilee101 Hi to another MFI buddy. Thanks for your kind words. Yes, I'm going to ask for them to transfer both, especially since they recommend that if you've already gone through a couple transfers. I hope all goes well with your dIUI. If there's any info I can give about the donor process, ask away! (I'm sure you're already past most of the paperwork hurdles, though.)
@linzrunz Thank you so much for that lovely encouragement. I know having a counselor will be really good for me right now. I had elevated blood pressure at a checkup today after they asked a bunch of IVF questions. As much as I just wanted to explain why, I don't think the nurse got it. Agghh, that bridal shower sounds like a total nightmare. I'm so sorry you had to endure all that stress at an event where you have to keep it together.
@purplg8r I'm hopeful that by next week I'll at least have an appointment to see a counselor. I hope all went well with your IUI! How exciting!
@jrm_14 Oh man, you totally hit the nail on the head. I know how much I need a counselor right now, but playing the waiting game with insurance paperwork is making me shove everything down. If you need a checklist of additional things to keep your mind busy before IVF, you can see if there's any plastic you can purge or makeup/beauty supplies to switch. You can also make yourself some healthy "menus" that you can use to pre-prep before a transfer. That way, you won't have to stress about meals right beforehand.
@50Wife You are the best. Thank you. I'm glad to hear the PIO is going well for you. I think once you can get over the giant needles, it's not as scary. Hopefully you get good news with your ERA.
@Augusta108 Thank you for your good wishes. That's fantastic that your boss was so supportive and has experience with the IF journey. Happy belated birthday, although I'm dreading hitting 35 next month, too. It's so sad that going through this process robs us of the joy of milestones in our lives.
@darkstar42 Thanks. I don't feel like a superhero, but I'm trying to set little goals for myself every day. I'm sorry to hear that you are having issues getting a counselor, too, especially if you wanted to be able to keep your previous therapist. I hope you are able to find someone soon.

madspunk

@Avrilmai On managing expectations - I look at my own statistics of success and remind myself that on any given IUI cycle, it's more likely that I won't get pregnant than that I will, but that in the grand scheme it's more likely I will get pregnant eventually.

@RVAmom315 I applaud your sneaky sex.

@AlohaKumu I am hoping so much for you that you are able to get all the new testing and a FET done before you move. And I hope it's as stress-free as possible because you don't need any of that. Hopefully you are able to start seeing a counselor too. You feeling "not okay", I can understand because I think anyone in your position would not be feeling okay.

@linzrunz I'm sorry you had a tough weekend. I pretty much hate any womanly events like that now because they always turn to the subject of babies somehow. I'm like you where if someone asks if I want kids or anything like that, I mutter someday or something passive. DH will throw down and I love him for it. Someone said to him recently, "I thought you would have had kids by now" and he snapped "Me too. But apparently it's going to take a lot of time and money and hormones." How are you doing with the side effects of Metformin now?

@jrm_14 I second what @RVAmom315 said - my biggest things are exercise and diet. Less carbs, more fat and protein and doing yoga every day.

@50Wife GL on  Thursday! I'm glad the PIO shots aren't bad for you. Could you PM me the list of what to eat/what not to eat. I'm having trouble keeping my protein intake up.

@darkstar42 Sorry to hear your therapist is out of network. Hopefully you are able to find another good one.

Diagnosis (if you've been): NIR PCOS

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): treatment break

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): treatment break

How are things going?: It's boring on the TTC front. I'm counting down the days to start treatment again. I've been focusing on eating healthy and exercising, and I've been doing really well with that.

Any questions?:

GTKY: What is the best (non-TTC) advice you have gotten? I love @Alohakumu's "wear sunscreen". That is the best advice. I can't think of anything right now, but I'll come back if I can.

50Wife

@madspunk I'm glad you've found something good to focus on during your treatment break.  Hopefully you're enjoying it as much as possible!  Also, YGPM

hlb8179

@Avrilmai I hear you about managing expectations.  It's so hard.  I'm trying to immerse myself in my other interests so that IF doesn't consume my life, and I'm hoping that helps.
@leilee101 I'm so glad timing changed so that you can squeak in your first IUI before your travels.  Timing is everything, and one month can feel like forever when you have to wait.
@linzrunz I'm so sorry you had a rough weekend.
@purplg8r  I hope your first IUI went well!  FX for you. 
@jrm_14 I'm so sorry that you're in a funk, but it's also extremely understandable.  Be gentle to yourself.

And a big shout out to everyone who mentioned focusing on eating well and exercising.  I'm right there with you, and it's not easy!  After bad news, I'm so conditioned to want to just feed my face so I've been trying to go exercise instead, and I've really taken some rage out at OTF lately. 

Diagnosis (if you've been):  AMA, secondary infertility

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA):  WTO

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?):  Just Clomid and OPKs.  We will be out of town all during FW, so that puts us out for IUI this month.  We'll have to wait until April for IUI #2.

How are things going?:  Not the best, but better.  AF showed up this weekend, and I took it pretty hard that IUI #1 was unsuccessful.  We were pretty convinced that our struggle had mostly been about timing since my husband travels for work Monday through Friday and that's usually when I O.  But I guess this shows that my ancient egg supply is more problematic than I realized.  I had 3 mature follicles this past cycle, and none of them were able to make it happen.  I was really depressed all weekend, and MH and I had to talk through some decisions about what to do next that we didn't agree on.  So it was rough.  I still can't actually talk about it without crying, but there is optimism somewhere deep within me.

Any questions?:  Did anyone go to IVF after 2 or fewer IUI?  My RE had initially given us the option of 3 or 4 IUIs first, but now that we are out for the next one, I'm hoping we can still move ahead with the IVF as scheduled.  Our consult for that is currently set for May 2.  

GTKY: What is the best (non-TTC) advice you have gotten?  Be Heather.  I lived so much of my early life trying to be what others wanted or expected.  I'm done with that now and frequently remind myself to just Be Heather.  It's okay to want or need certain things and to not want or need others.  

ndz2018

@hlb8179 I went straight to IVF, she had mentioned IUIs but I suppose due to our MFI(low count 5-7mil and low morph) and my age ( 37) she knew that that chances of IUI were slim so we didn’t even try BUT she did mention that sometimes insurance companies will make you do about 3 IUIs before they will approve IVF.. luckily mine did not. Sorry about the IUI not working and the tough weekend ... hugs!! 

@Augusta108 Happy Birthday! I had The same feeling about turning 35 , I totally thought I’d be pregnant by that age but I had Just started dating H and on our first date I pretty Much told him like im trying to have babies soon so if you’re not cool with that then we won’t work    I know, I know I may Have came on a little strong but when you’re 35(i had just turned 35 when we met) and single you need to be brutally honest. Well let’s just say that didn’t scare him away and a year and a half later we were ttc. 

@madspunk I hear on the boring ttc front... I was gonna give it a go this cycle but I just Kinda forgot to test opk and it’s been kinda nice. At first I was like what am I gonna do if I’m not in treatment or ttc on our own? But I’m glad I just relaxed this cycle. When does treatment start up again? 

@darkstar42 Sorry you’re having a tough time with insurance and finding someone to talk to. Insurance REALLY sucks sometimes. FX you get those grants that would be huge! How long does it take to find out if you’re approved? 

@50Wife Getting closer and closer to the real FET! I’m glad you’re not having any issues with the PIO, looking at the needles kinda scared me but I’m gonna trust you on this and hope it’s not too bad! I’ve been googling and watching you tube videos on how to do it yourself in case I ever have to and ways to make it hurt less.

50Wife

@ndz2018 Oh the needle is fucking huge and I cried for 10 minutes before my first one.  But in all honesty, I'd do a PIO shot over a menopur shot at this point.  Menopur burned so bad! 
Tip I just learned last night:  My husband wasn't stretching my skin before giving me the needle, he was just stabbing me. Last night he stretched my skin tight and it hurt even less. Win!
Also, I saw someone online laying with a pillow under her chest so I do that each night.  I feel like there's less pull on those muscles when it's forcing me to arch my back like that.
I googled the shit out of this shot before we started just for any tiny tip I could find! 

KristoKekerooni

@AlohaKumu , can you talk to someone in the meantime through your company wellness program? I forget what they are called, but most companies offer at least a couple sessions for free. I'm so sorry you are feeling the weight of all this. If I could wrap you in a thousand hugs, I would. 

jrm_14

@AlohaKumu @KristoKekerooni EAP?  (Employee Assistance Program).  

@mapspunk Good work on your diet & exercise!  It feels nice when you can recognize your progress. 

@darkstar42  That’s a bummer about the previous trherapist you saw. Have you reached out to her to ask who she would recommend?  

@hlb8179 We have done 2 IUIs with injectables and are moving into IVF. For us, the cost of IUI for what we could put towards IVF was a consideration. Also, given my progressive autoimmune disease, it is important for us to cut down as much time as possible. PM me if you have any further questions in our decision to move from 2 IUIs to IVF

AlohaKumu

@madspunk I can't claim that the "wear sunscreen" advice is wildly original, but it's certainly important and practical! I hope you are well. I know how boring the treatment breaks can be.
@KristoKekerooni I'm still soooo happy for you! I do talk to the counselor at the school where I work, but she certainly doesn't specialize in IF counseling. I'm not sure if we have access to the EAP that you and @jrm_14 mentioned, but I'm going to call my insurance later today to see if the referral went through. The employee on the phone last week mentioned I could do that if I felt like I needed to get in before my referral letter made it to me in the mail.

KristoKekerooni

@jrm_14 That's it! 
@AlohaKumu , regardless of how it happens. I hope you do get in soon and it gives you a little release to breath a bit easier. Hugs.  

jrm_14

Possible TW- loss of embryos 

I’m surprised no one else has mentioned this yet. My heart is so very sad for the families that lost their snowflakes in the two clinic malfunctions. 

Checking in in to see if anyone here was impacted. 

AlohaKumu

@jrm_14 I posted something in another forum about it. I seriously wanted to throw up when I saw the news. I cannot fathom the impact this will have on all those families. It crushes my heart for them.

50Wife

@jrm_14 @AlohaKumu I am sick to my stomach for those couples.  It's one thing if they somehow compensate and pay for them to go through it again. But not every couple will be able to do it again and my heart is breaking for them.

ndz2018

@jrm_14 and @AlohaKumu My heart breaks for the families! I would be beside myself. I read that a girl over in March FET lost the rest of her embryos but luckily they did they transfer a few days before it happened. I would Be freaking out! Love and light to all those who lost their little embabies

Avrilmai

@RVAmom315 that is a great piece of advice.

@ndz2018 glad to hear things are going well for you and that this break has been good for you

@AlohaKumu  I wish I could say something to make you feel better. You have been through so much and I hope that you get the clearance for counseling very soon. It can be so helpful and good for you for reaching out for it. I hope you get some of the support and relief that you need. All the hugs.

@leilee101 0 all of this IF stuff just messes with your mind. I hope this IUI is it for you, but know that we will be here if you need us

@linzrunz I hope your week has gotten a little better. I don’t know why all social norms go out of the window when it comes to pregnancy.

 @Augusta108 A very happy belated birthday to you. 35 was rough for me too, I got so stressed the last month I would delivered before 35 that I think I delayed my O it was the longest cycle I’ve had. I have this image in my head of my ovaries being like well yesterday we were 34 and today were 35 so time to start winding down.  I’m so glad to hear that your boss was so supportive

 @darkstar42  I hate that you’re feeling so down. It sucks that you have to start over with a new therapist. I want to encourage you to keep pursuing it. I know it can be so hard to reach out and when you come to a road block it is easy to stop. I’m glad that your H is a bit more understanding and that you’re opening up the discussion to IVF and exploring your options.

 @madspunk I appreciate your feedback that is a great way to think about it, thanks!  Great job on the eating healthy and exercising, taking time to work on self-care is always a good thing.

@jrm_14 I hope you're having a better week. I saw that story...so incredibly sad. 

@50Wife lady, you're a rock star! you've got this bruises and all. 

purplg8r

@madspunk remind me of how long you have until you start treatment again...

@hlb8179 I’m so sorry that IUI #1 didn’t work. I think it’s hard not to get your hopes high when you’re trying something new 

Aurora1973

@hlb8179 I'm so sorry about the IUI.  Hugs to you. 

@darkstar42 I'm sorry the treatment break hasn't been what you had hoped.  I think it's different when you make the choice.  I imagine being benched would feel depressing, especially if you're ready to move forward.  During one cycle we weren't able to procure a second vial of sperm in time to do a second insemination per our plan. My acupuncturist suggested just sitting that cycle out, and I think my face changed into a monster's, and I seethed something like "no way in helllll."  With IF, it feels like every delay is a wasted opportunity.  Still, I hope that you are able to maybe do some things you normally wouldn't during a cycle, or have sex just for fun, or something.  So many hugs.

@madspunk So glad that the healthy thing is going well for you!

 @Augusta108 35 was hard for me, too. I think almost every year into AMA is a reminder.  But like you said, you aren't much different than you were last cycle.  Also, my understanding is that 35 is kind of outdated as a benchmark for fertility aging.  And the 30s are the best....I hope you will enjoy the second half of a great decade

AFM:

Diagnosis:  Old AF, OH is on testosterone replacement

Status:  WFAF

What are you doing:  Well, I just decided yesterday that I'm taking a break this next cycle.  This is unheard of for me, as I mentioned earlier...it's like sacrilege.  At 44, I feel like every cycle counts.  However, we've been solidly at this for 2 years and almost 3 months, and I just feel so done.  Also, we have both OH's family and mine coming in the next few weeks for visits for Easter and Spring Break.  I will also be on vacation and have my stepson for the entire week of Spring Break, although OH will be working.  I'm super excited for having lots of fun activities, and I realized I just don't want to be in the TWW in the middle of that.  Part of it is because of wanting to be really present and have fun.  **TW**  The other part is that both my sister and SIL have babies that I will be spending lots of time with, and if I were to get a BFN in the middle of that, I just might finally lose my shit.  **End TW**

How is it going:  I'm still nervous to not be doing any kind of insemination and wasting an egg.  But I'm super relieved to have made the decision to take care of me and my mental health.  I also have a confession:  I have this stupid fantasy that OH isn't shooting blanks (we haven't done an SA since he went on replacement, so we have no idea) and a miracle will happen when we're NOT EVEN TRYING.  Ugh.  I'm trying to beat the hell out of that idea and make it go away.  Hope and faith can be mean sometimes, I'm afraid.  They also make me think ridiculous shit.



I do have to send a big public thank you to my friend and grad @adirat.  Not only did she check on me, but she made me feel so much better, like she always does.  And she helped turn me in the right direction.  Because she's awesomesauce.  

Any questions:  Nope

GTKY:  Hm, a couple of people told me the fact that I'm eligible for a pension is a great reason to continue on my career path.  Almost 20 years in, I am very grateful.