Definitely check with your HR. For me, my STD ends before the paid holidays; as such, my firm will pay me for those holidays as part of their paid maternity leave.
Every company is different, and it is worth it to figure out the details sooner rather than later.
I work for a super small law firm and for my first he gave me 6 paid and 6 unpaid. I went back at 6ish weeks and worked part time with baby. I had playpen and all the stuffs with me. I will do something similar this time. DH gets 6 weeks of paid leave as well so we will both be home together. Our DD is 3.5 and will almost be 4. She will continue a mostly normal schedule at daycare with random days at home after 2 weeks or so.
Yeah, my husband discovered this when he met with HR, too. He gets 8 weeks paid -- part is paid by California's leave program, the rest is made up by his employer. He can take it in 2-week increments, so he's probably going to pick and choose his 2-week blocks selectively, and work the short weeks around the holidays (but probably work from home some of the time).
His boss has been kind of a stickler on logging PTO even for just a few hours and wasn't crazy about him working from home occasionally when he started there. But she's also pregnant with her first and due a few months earlier than us, so she's started to develop a new perspective.
My company does not pay you for holidays while on parental leave. Don’t flame me, but I kinda get it. We close between Xmas and New Years and it wouldn’t be fair for people who give birth in December to get more paid time off just because of the due date.
I work for a nonprofit and I get 6 weeks disability pay (60%) then 6 weeks full pay. I’ll probably use another 2 weeks of vacation to go back at 14 weeks.
I also signed up for supplemental disability that I pay extra for and you need to be on for 10 months before you can use it (aka you can’t sign up after you find out you are pregnant). I signed up the month before we started TTC and it worked out. I didn’t do this with my first kid but def did this time. This will help with cash flow for the first 6 weeks.
DH gets 6 weeks paid and will prob do 3 at home with me and three after I go back to work to delay daycare as long as possible.
I believe my company does 8 weeks paid. I’ll take that then most likely turn in my notice - with a 3rd in daycare, that’ll eat up my paycheck and then some. Not worth it. DH gets 2 weeks of paid paternity leave so he’ll definitely take that.
Well I just quit my job because I can barely walk thanks to my stupid tailbone or whatever it is so I don’t need to worry about leave now I guess! They’ll take me back any day I want though... DH owns/operates his own tree planting business so no way he can take off. But starting Novemberish he won’t have much work so he’ll be able to be around a lot more
I just went over mine yesterday... I have to use my PTO first, STD kicks in after day 10 for up to 6 weeks at $100 per day (significantly less than I typically make in a day ~ 50%) then any additional time I take is unpaid... I’m planning to take an additional 6 weeks and go back Jan 2nd. (I’m due October 9th)
I just talked with HR last week. If I go on any sort of bedrest thats the start of my FMLA and I have to use it like that. I am freaking out that if I go on bedrest early and still end up with early babies I will be forced to spend my leave while they are in NICU. (I went into labor with DD at 33w but had her at 36w but the risk feels so much worse with multiples). I have a very physical job and I don't know what I will do if my babies come home and I have no time to spend with them. I need that adjustment period. It makes me want to cry, quitting is not an option and I spoke with them about taking extra time unpaid, also not an option. Ugh
Ugh seeing this thread bumped back up is making me ragey. I’m going to try not to jump up on my soapbox, but I get so mad thinking about how far behind the rest of the world that the US is in this regard. I will be taking about 18 weeks total thanks to our state laws, of which a whopping zero weeks will be paid. I’ll have to use my sick time at the start of my leave, which will probably get me a whole 7-8 days paid, depending on how much sick time I use before October, and then the rest is entirely unpaid. I don’t have STD or anything to cover part of my salary, so we’ll just have to make do on DH’s salary for the time while I’m out.
@ninji15 I've been wondering how bed rest would affect me. My hope is that it would be its own STD, but I have to look into it. It's terrible that we can possibly use up our 12 weeks by keeping our bodies safe to grow our child and then not have any time after to repair our bodies and bond with our child.
@ninji15 I’ve known women that return to work while their babies are in NICU, and then take the rest of their leave once babies come home. Which is beyond shitty, but may be another option. Hopefully you won’t end up in that situation. I’m in Canada and was able to use sick time/STD while my first was in NICU, and didn’t start my mat leave until he was discharged.
Ugh to add to my earlier comment, I just did the math out for the first time to calculate how much salary I’ll lose during my unpaid time off, and it’s way more than I had realized. DH has assured me I can take the max time and we will make it work financially, but it’s seriously stressing me out at this point. I mean we have some savings, but this is basically going to eat up almost half of our liquid savings just to keep up with our regular monthly expenses.
I’ll end up taking 6-8 weeks (depending on c-section or not). The way it works for teachers in California is that your sick leave gets used up then any days after that, you still get paid but it’s minus the cost of the sub for each day I’m gone. So I’ll lose $150 a day after my sick leave is up. Unfortunately, I’ve already used all my sick days for this year so that won’t transfer over and I’ll only have my 10 days for next school year. I pay for disability insurance though so that will help cover that cost though.
I’ve been told to expect to deliver at 37 weeks like my other two, but if we can hold off until closer to my actual due date, then I’ll only have a week or two to fill before I have my Christmas Break. And hopefully I won’t get pulled from work early. We’re trying to keep the baby out of daycare until after the break so I’m praying it works out.
I’ve gone out early with both my other kids, so it’s a very real possibility for this one.
I posted awhile ago about our policy which is basically the amount of leave you get paid for depends on how long you’ve been at the organization, maxing out at 12 weeks. You also can’t use vacation because we have “unlimited vacation” that doesn’t accrue, so the policy prohibits you taking it directly after leave. It’s pretty messed up. When I go on leave I will get 8 wks paid because I will have “only” been with the org 2.5 years. Yeah.
Anyway...this is a social justice legal organization where people work based on their values... and I’ve reakized most people didn’t know the policy and would probably take issue with it. So I’ve been slowly spreading the word. I wrote an intense jerry McGuire style manifesto about it and gave it to my boss and have been encouraging people to raise it at team meetings if they think the policy is bad.
It’s finally on a management agenda since enough people have brought it up. Who knows if anything will change, but at least I tried...
ETA: I recognize this policy is better than what some people have posted here! But it’s stikl bad! I think of 12 weeks as the floor—and NYS where I live has recently enacted policies that reflect that way of thinking. That context and the type of organization I work for made me want to push for better but I definitely understand that many people can’t do that.
So funny that this thread is active again because I was just thinking about it. I was watching Ali Wong's new special on Netflix where she kept saying women should get paid maternity leave. I hate discussing it with people because there's always a dozen a**holes who want to say "It was YOUR decision to have a baby. Why should someone else have to literally PAY for that." I don't know.... maybe because we should care about taking care of each other?! That's what's wrong with this country. I understand the importance of independence, but everyone needs help occasionally.
Hey @rc-cola as a manager at social justice organization myself I’m in agreement we all should be doing better, but also agree that your place’s current policy is far better than most peers, which you acknowledged. I’m curious, did you have a specific recommendation for a policy that you brought them? As someone who receives “constructive feedback” on our policies frequently, I’d say the best way for success is to bring a feasible suggestion. Good luck!
@krzyriver I'm not familiar with the US but here in Canada everyone pays into Unemployment Insurance off their pay cheques, so ultimately you are paying into the system that pays Canadians for our 12 months or 18 months maternity leave AND for those who lose their jobs as a temporary assistance until you find your new job. So really nobody is "PAYING" for me to have a baby - I have been paying into it my whole working life and finally am able to get some of that money back! How does it work in the US?
Me 33 DH 41 TTC since 2016 Due: October 12, 2018 Location: Ontario, Canada
Ugh, sorry about my mini rant. My mom and I have different political views. We may or may not have gotten into it recently.
I’m with you. Last I saw something like 80-85% of women have a child. Our policies treat it like it’s some weird anomoly which makes no freakin sense. And then other women (older normally) have some weird aversion to change because of some repressed grudge that because they had to do it without help or better policy, new mothers should too. 1. That’s terrible to wish on other mothers and 2. The economy now is not the same as it was 20 years ago. Me and my Dh both work full time because we have to. And because we want to, actually. And that’s true for loads of people. So let’s not make it damn near impossible to survive, ok everybody? /rantover
@jennybean80 I am actually hoping to do that in this case but they told me it would not be an option for me pretty much when I asked. If something does happen I hope they work with me more.
@chyvie We all pay into that stuff here too, but no one wants to pay taxes that will go to anything but themselves. I hear people complain about this stuff daily. "I pay all this money for other people to live off government assistance!" I'm so sorry not everyone is as well off as you. And I'm sorry because yes, there are people who take advantage. But we shouldn't stop helping people who really NEED it just because of that. And for maternity leave, it's still more common than not for people to have children. So it's not like 100% of Americans would be paying for 10% of people to go on maternity leave. It would benefit the majority of people.
@HoosOnFirst Right?! My boss is acting like I'm such an inconvenience for her. Um... you have 2 kids yourself lady. You told me you wanted more. Why would you treat me this way when you were in my position 10 years ago? This isn't a rare thing... people want to have families! Take care of your employees, they're human and they're entitled to having lives outside of work!
@chyvie please don’t even get me started with how f’d up the US is about this. I just can’t understand how people in the US don’t realize that having time off after giving birth (or having your partner give birth, if you’re the non-birth parent) isn’t some ridiculous thing that only those who “choose” to have children should deal with. Having children is what keeps our society moving forward, and people here can’t seem to understand how important it is to have that time off after having a baby. Not to get political, but republicans don’t give a shit about what’s best for everyone else, all they care about is the money in their pockets, which is why legislation about paid family leave will never pass here. Same with healthcare.
Also, sorry in advance if this sounds bitchy because I’m in a bad mood this morning, but @rc-cola - you should be thankful you have any paid weeks at all. 8 is still a lot of weeks to have paid, and some of us have none so you could be a lot worse off.
I also hate how people assume it's just to be home and be with baby. Not only am I caring for an infant child, my body is also healing from a major event - sometimes major surgery. So many women go back to work while their body is not ready and force themselves to work. I know some of you work in labor related jobs. I can't imagine going back to a labor intense job after giving birth. At least I get to sit at a desk in air conditioning all day.
I'm SUPER thankful for the 6-8 weeks of fully paid STD I'll get. I'm bitching that I'll have to go back to work 2 weeks early (possibly) in order to take the paid holiday off. So really, I'm only losing out on a few days. That's super lucky for me. I've had friends tell me they went back after 3-4 weeks. Your body isn't even healed! You're possibly still bleeding, sore, etc.
I work in corporate and thanks to a bill that passed in the state where I work, I have 14 weeks mostly paid (it's broken into three buckets: 4 weeks from the state 80% , 4 weeks from my job 100%, 6 weeks STD 66%). I could tack on PTO, but I'm hoping to keep that for days off after I return to ease the transition. Luckily my direct manager just came back from maternity leave and has been really understanding with how I take my time and offering flexible alternatives, but it's still crazy to me that someone working in the same company with a different boss could have a completely different experience.
Unfortunately, MH works for a family business and can't miss more than a couple weeks of work at a time (no matter how many times I've gotten worked up about it), but I'm still incredibly grateful for my situation considering how generous it is compared to some of the stories here.
If companies can't afford to pay for extra time off, I think at least supplementing with options like flexible hours upon returning to work, or partially working from home, etc could help a bit, it shouldn't be left to the whim of each individual manager.
And the fact that people act like we should still be thankful since we're guaranteed 12 weeks with FMLA. Can YOU afford to take 12 weeks unpaid? That's why I went back after 4... and I almost died giving birth!!! I just wracked up thousands of dollars in hospital bills, I'm shelling out money on everything my newborn and my postpartum body need, and Z drank crazy expensive formula after breastfeeding failed. How the hell could I have afforded those 12 weeks?!
@pumpkinpancake of course I’m grateful I have any time at all, but that doesn’t mean I can’t push for something better. Like I said in my post, NYS just enacted policies suggesting 12 weeks paid should be the floor. That’s what I’m pushing for. @HoosOnFirst that’s the policy I brought them and the policy that exists for some employees at my organization already.
@rc-cola If you're in NY, are you receiving the Paid Family Leave (PFL) that was recently enacted? I am using that (8 weeks) in addition to the 6-8 weeks I receive in disability.
ETA: I could potentially get 10 weeks with PFL, because an additional 2 weeks gets added on for 2019 and my maternity leave will extend into the new year. However, HR is uncertain when the information about that will come out at this point in time and they're not sure if they'll find out before the new year either.
@rc-cola I think working to enact change in your workplace is awesome. Like people have said here before, I don't think people realize it's an issue until they have to go through it, so igniting change in a professional and rational way is only going to help get better policies in place for hopefully you, but also any other moms in the future. I wish there was a fist-bump emoji here.
Thanks ladies. The most stressful part of it was what was happening with Z. He didn't take to breastfeeding and he was allergic the formula I was giving him. I didn't know for a minute, so he had full body rashes and raspy breathing... and I couldn't be there for my 3 month old baby. I couldn't even take him to his doctor appointments because I was back to work and couldn't take time off. Thank god my mother watches him and she was able to take him to all his appointments, give him his breathing treatments and creams, and try formula after formula until we found one that he wasn't allergic to and that he would actually drink.
@sliztee yes I’m in NY but I’m using my orgs leave. This year the state requires 8 with it eventually getting to 12. My organization is exempt but that’s why I’m using the policy to push here. Also I shoukd mention that at the rate things move here I’d be shocked if I benefit from any change for this pregnancy but the idea is to improve the policy for everyone. Otherwise I could have just gone in to Mgmt and tried to negotiate for just myself.
Man all this talk about leave made me relook up our policy lol. It's kind of confusing, because my leave will be a combo of STD, family leave by my company, and vacation, and I think it may have to be in that order?? I'll have to sit down with HR to make sure I'm optimizing the system, but I think I can get 12-13 weeks paid (DH will just take vacation...the only time I wish we worked at the same company!) But, I feel very fortunate with my policies, as confusing as they may feel right now, especially after hearing about all of you guys' policies. I was talking with my male co-worker about the shit standard US minimum requirements and it's like they don't expect us to go back to work! Damn the patriarchy!!
Re: USA - How long will your maternity leave be?
Definitely check with your HR. For me, my STD ends before the paid holidays; as such, my firm will pay me for those holidays as part of their paid maternity leave.
Every company is different, and it is worth it to figure out the details sooner rather than later.
Me 32 and DH 40
Fur-baby named Bella
1 MC Nov. 2013
DD born Nov. 2, 2014
Little 2 EDD Oct. 1
His boss has been kind of a stickler on logging PTO even for just a few hours and wasn't crazy about him working from home occasionally when he started there. But she's also pregnant with her first and due a few months earlier than us, so she's started to develop a new perspective.
I work for a nonprofit and I get 6 weeks disability pay (60%) then 6 weeks full pay. I’ll probably use another 2 weeks of vacation to go back at 14 weeks.
I also signed up for supplemental disability that I pay extra for and you need to be on for 10 months before you can use it (aka you can’t sign up after you find out you are pregnant). I signed up the month before we started TTC and it worked out. I didn’t do this with my first kid but def did this time. This will help with cash flow for the first 6 weeks.
DH gets 6 weeks paid and will prob do 3 at home with me and three after I go back to work to delay daycare as long as possible.
up on my soapbox, but I get so mad thinking about how far behind the rest of the world that the US is in this regard. I will be taking about 18 weeks total thanks to our state laws, of which a whopping zero weeks will be paid. I’ll have to use my sick time at the start of my leave, which will probably get me a whole 7-8 days paid, depending on how much sick time I use before October, and then the rest is entirely unpaid. I don’t have STD or anything to cover part of my salary, so we’ll just have to make do on DH’s salary for the time while I’m out.
@ninji15 I've been wondering how bed rest would affect me. My hope is that it would be its own STD, but I have to look into it. It's terrible that we can possibly use up our 12 weeks by keeping our bodies safe to grow our child and then not have any time after to repair our bodies and bond with our child.
I’m in Canada and was able to use sick time/STD while my first was in NICU, and didn’t start my mat leave until he was discharged.
I’ve been told to expect to deliver at 37 weeks like my other two, but if we can hold off until closer to my actual due date, then I’ll only have a week or two to fill before I have my Christmas Break. And hopefully I won’t get pulled from work early. We’re trying to keep the baby out of daycare until after the break so I’m praying it works out.
I’ve gone out early with both my other kids, so it’s a very real possibility for this one.
Anyway...this is a social justice legal organization where people work based on their values... and I’ve reakized most people didn’t know the policy and would probably take issue with it. So I’ve been slowly spreading the word. I wrote an intense jerry McGuire style manifesto about it and gave it to my boss and have been encouraging people to raise it at team meetings if they think the policy is bad.
It’s finally on a management agenda since enough people have brought it up. Who knows if anything will change, but at least I tried...
ETA: I recognize this policy is better than what some people have posted here! But it’s stikl bad! I think of 12 weeks as the floor—and NYS where I live has recently enacted policies that reflect that way of thinking. That context and the type of organization I work for made me want to push for better but I definitely understand that many people can’t do that.
TTC since 2016
Due: October 12, 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada
TTC since 2016
Due: October 12, 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada
Also, sorry in advance if this sounds bitchy because I’m in a bad mood this morning, but @rc-cola - you should be thankful you have any paid weeks at all. 8 is still a lot of weeks to have paid, and some of us have none so you could be a lot worse off.
I'm SUPER thankful for the 6-8 weeks of fully paid STD I'll get. I'm bitching that I'll have to go back to work 2 weeks early (possibly) in order to take the paid holiday off. So really, I'm only losing out on a few days. That's super lucky for me. I've had friends tell me they went back after 3-4 weeks. Your body isn't even healed! You're possibly still bleeding, sore, etc.
Unfortunately, MH works for a family business and can't miss more than a couple weeks of work at a time (no matter how many times I've gotten worked up about it), but I'm still incredibly grateful for my situation considering how generous it is compared to some of the stories here.
If companies can't afford to pay for extra time off, I think at least supplementing with options like flexible hours upon returning to work, or partially working from home, etc could help a bit, it shouldn't be left to the whim of each individual manager.
ETA: I could potentially get 10 weeks with PFL, because an additional 2 weeks gets added on for 2019 and my maternity leave will extend into the new year. However, HR is uncertain when the information about that will come out at this point in time and they're not sure if they'll find out before the new year either.
I think working to enact change in your workplace is awesome. Like people have said here before, I don't think people realize it's an issue until they have to go through it, so igniting change in a professional and rational way is only going to help get better policies in place for hopefully you, but also any other moms in the future. I wish there was a fist-bump emoji here.