I have to stop reading this thread. It's making me angry (not at you guys, but at my employer). My employer can definitely afford paid parental leave, but they're just a bunch of prodit-hungry assholes.
I was just thinking the same, I need to stop reading. It's making me angry. I'll only accumulate about 2 weeks of PTO before the baby comes. 3-4 if I get the bonus Perfect Attendance Days every opportunity between now and then. My employer offers STD I waived it during open enrollment.
I was just thinking the same, I need to stop reading. It's making me angry. I'll only accumulate about 2 weeks of PTO before the baby comes. 3-4 if I get the bonus Perfect Attendance Days every opportunity between now and then. My employer offers STD I waived it during open enrollment.
You'll be able to file a life change event the day the baby is born, find out if you can enroll in STD then for it to take effect immediately. They might let you. I'm not 100% sure how it would work because our STD is included, but worth a shot.
@krzyriver and @sammierose464 most STD plans will not pay out if you were pregnant when you enrolled (and they can figure it out easily based on when you give birth vs when you buy the plan), so be careful about buying it before you look into it. Mine will pay for anything within 30 days of buying it except for pregnancy, and then mine won't pay for 1 year, meaning you have to not get pregnant for the first 3 months after you buy it for it to actually work for maternity leave related STD
I’ll take 12 weeks- 6 weeks paid with STD, our company has a new parental leave policy this year that gets me another 2 weeks paid, and the rest will be PTO which thankfully I have quite a bit saved already. Our PTO also continues to accrue while we are on leave so when I come back I’ll have a decent amount banked which will be helpful!
@sammierose464 Yeah, I did wonder about that. It's worth asking, but I assume it'll be like @kiwi2628 said: that I won't be eligible because I didn't sign up prior to pregnancy. My company is not very employee friendly, so I also assume the worst with them. Lol. I had no plans to get pregnant again, which is why I didn't want to pay for it.
@sammierose464 Yeah, I did wonder about that. It's worth asking, but I assume it'll be like @kiwi2628 said: that I won't be eligible because I didn't sign up prior to pregnancy. My company is not very employee friendly, so I also assume the worst with them. Lol. I had no plans to get pregnant again, which is why I didn't want to pay for it.
Yeah, it's probably more what @kiwi2628 said. Wasn't thinking about that. It really sucks that general maternity policies suck. I'm in benefits and there's 3 on my team pregnant. I'm hoping we can really help push for some changes.
I think I will try to take around 12 weeks. They don't offer STD but I purchased an outside plan on my own. Hopefully 6 weeks of STD and then the other 6 weeks will be a combination of sick leave and annual leave that I'll be saving up. It's taking a while to rebuild my sick/annual leave from having my daughter almost 2 years ago. The STD is really going to help me stretch it out.
We relocated for my husband’s job last fall, and I’ve been unable to find full time work, so no benefits for me.
I’ll work all my part time jobs as long as I can, then will hopefully be back as soon as possible after for weekend work. This is my first...how long do we think I can work 12-15 hr days on my feet???
@melbo444 I worked 12 hr days pat my due date until i went into labor. Which was actually the night after such a day - however my responsibilities were way less. Also I was exhausted every night. I'll do it again this time...
I'm not trying to stir the pot or sound mean, but seriously how does one have a baby in the US? After hearing you all talk about the cost of Dr. apts & labor and most of you getting unpaid time off after the baby comes, then having to pay for daycare for that much longer - it boggles my mind? You go into debt to have a kid! How is it even possible that such an influential and large first world country can get away with this? It sounds like the US is trying to control their population or something! Someone has to fight for some change down there!
Me 33 DH 41 TTC since 2016 Due: October 12, 2018 Location: Ontario, Canada
@chyvie don’t even get me started... the government here doesn’t give a s**t about women or families, and would rather have the money in their pockets than do the right thing and provide family leave support. Unless the democrats take over (and even then, who knows..), nothing will ever change. Healthcare is a huge issue too, and just the cost of giving birth and prenatal medical care alone is enough to put people into debt here. I wish we had half the benefits that Canada and most other developed countries have, but alas, our government is more concerned with giving tax cuts to the wealthy...
@chyvie don’t even get me started... the government here doesn’t give a s**t about women or families, and would rather have the money in their pockets than do the right thing and provide family leave support. Unless the democrats take over (and even then, who knows..), nothing will ever change. Healthcare is a huge issue too, and just the cost of giving birth and prenatal medical care alone is enough to put people into debt here. I wish we had half the benefits that Canada and most other developed countries have, but alas, our government is more concerned with giving tax cuts to the wealthy...
It's not just the government... NO ONE cares. You try and bring up paid maternity leave in a group of people, and half of them will bite your head off and ask why it's anyone's responsibility to take care of you when YOU chose to have a baby. So many people only care about themselves.
Trust us, we know that as far as developed countries go, we are something like #30 when it comes to women’s rights and support of women’s health. TW: We also have one of the highest rates of infant mortality in the developed world. Seriously, it is ridiculous.
I literally spent last night trying to figure out how my paycheck is going to change when I have baby, and where the extra $1800 a month is going to come from that I will need between daycare and additional health insurance. Think about that for a minute. $1800 a month is $21,600. In the U.S., minimum wage is $7.25, which works out to $15,000 a year. I’m literally looking at spending more on daycare and health insurance for baby than some people make in a year. I’m grateful that I can afford it. I honestly don’t know how some people do (yes, I know- family support, gov assistance, charity- but all of that only goes so far).
And on the flip side- the federal government has reversed policy making it harder for women to afford birth control, and the states continue their attacks on both teaching children and teenagers about preventing pregnancy and access to safe abortions.
12 weeks FMLA... wish I could take longer. Last time I took 14 weeks and only went back part time for 2 months until I started this job I am currently working. This time I will have 2 weeks of PTO, 1 week of sick time and 6-8 weeks of STD at 60%. So only 1-3 weeks will be unpaid.
Jealous of some of these generous company's who offer 100% paid leave and more than 12 weeks. It makes me so mad that the US does not better care for women and children and allow more time for a paid maternity leave.
My husband does not get paternity leave. Last time he took 1.5 weeks off, this time he is planning to take 2-3 weeks of PTO.
@chyvie It's crazy but it's so ingrained into our culture that we're supposed to be independent and care for ourselves. We shouldn't have a baby if we're not able to support a child. Oh and women's healthcare costs more than men's because we need more care due to our biology, that's too bad. If you can't afford birth control, better not have sex. I mean ... it's just insane.
But Viagra? Well in that case, sex is a biological need. Let's get every man access to that.
@krzyriver You know what you have a very good point. Most of the American people I speak with about this issue always say they rather not pay more in taxes to take care of their own countries people, which I find absurd! If you don't all pay taxes to take care of each other then it is like you are all essentially gambling and rolling the dice when it comes to your health. Fingers crossed you aren't the unlucky one who gets cancer or some other disease that needs major health care. Also seems like the costs of health care and insurance is so much more down there as a result of no control over the system.
@bethica83 Don't even get me started on the concept of not paying for birth control! When I heard that my mind was blown!
You should all move to Canada! Where you can get free health care, eat poutine, butter tarts and ketchup chips all while taking 18 months paid time off with your babies!
Me 33 DH 41 TTC since 2016 Due: October 12, 2018 Location: Ontario, Canada
@knottieamusements I can't even afford daycare for DS, which is why I was planning to be one and done. My mother watches him and my SS helps out. I have no idea how people afford it.
@bethica83 I hate our warped idea of independence in this country. Everyone gets out of the house as soon as possible and spends years scraping by. My ex BFF was from Italy and everyone there stays with their parents until their set and getting married. Their country has it's own issues, but they start their adult life with savings and some idea of how to take care of themselves. My SS is 17 and already making plans to move out and get an apartment.
@chyvie Yup. Feels like it's every man for himself down here. It's awful. I can't even discuss it most of the time because I'm significantly more liberal than my folks.... who are fairly wealthy and set for life. My husband and I scrape by and can only afford health insurance because my H is a union member, so it's paid for. I would totally move to Canada! .....but my husband has a record from when he was a teenager and isn't allowed to cross the border.
Six weeks paid. And might need medical FMLA leave before that since I’m due in October, but the new school years starts in September...don’t know if my body will be able to set up a classroom etc.
my job holds my teaching position for up to two years. I’ll be taking one year this time. Last time around I only took six months. I’m not the greatest ever SAHM, but daycare is over $3,100 a month for ONE kid no way it would make sense for two!
I can't take sick time without a doctor's note, so I'm actually going to have to apply for FMLA now in case any pregnancy complications come up. And any of that FMLA I use prior to this little pumpkin being born will be subtracted from my bonding time. I hate my employer.
Me: 29 | DH: 29
Married 12/2016 DSS born 01/2016 TTC since 01/2017 Letrozole + TI = BFP 01/30/2018 | EDD 10/11/2018
I haven't been with my employer long enough to accrue any PTO, be eligible for any leave (FMLA requires one year of employment), and because I knew this was a possibility, I didn't even bother with STD.
I basically planned to work until I was due, giving my employer a week or two notice that I would not be back once I had my baby. My husband and I have planned for me to be a SAHM, and luckily he has been able to get a few raises plus is eligible for overtime pay so that we can afford it and have a healthy buffer.
The new kink in the plan is that we found a home sooner than we intended, so I may be quitting my job in April, rather than October. If so, I will just look for part time work, until I start to show, cause no one's gonna hire someone who is noticeably pregnant! It just means that my income is no longer going towards savings. I've been tracking my spending for the past year (literally every penny) to be sure my husband has plenty to cover all our expenses.
I work for a very small office of 5 people (2 of which only work part time). My boss was really great last time. I got 6 weeks paid and 6 weeks unpaid that I could take. I took about 9 weeks total but after 6, I worked about 15 hours a week (bringing the baby with me). I'll do pretty much the same with this one. I will probably go back to work full time at the beginning of December and put the babe in daycare with big sister.
@chyvie It’s awful. I’m fortunate to have great insurance. I will not pay for any baby checks, delivery or hospital stay. However, I know I’m lucky. This might be controversial, but I wish the “women’s movement” would quit dressing up like vaginas and start working for paid maternity leave. Yes, there are lots of important women issues (equal wages, birth control), but I feel like in the US if you want to be a Mom they make it really F’ing hard.
@cdepperschmidt Well the thing is that everyone's going to focus on and push for the issue that's most important/personal for them. I think more moms need to get out there and push for those things, because no one else is going to. Easier said than done because who the hell has time for that?! But we'll never get it all at once, so any victory is a step in the right direction.
I'm already trying to calculate how much PTO I'll need and I'm due late Oct, best case scenario I go mid month and can use my PTO for the rest of the year. But my 17 weeks carry over to 2019, not sure if I'll have to use 2019 vacation or take it unpaid.
I am very fortunate to have 16 weeks of paid family leave. Additionally, I believe I can also start maternity leave by using a week of PTO to cover the one week elimination period before 5 weeks of STD kicks in at 60% of my salary. In total, I think I may be able to take 22 weeks? I need to look into this to confirm the accuracy.
@vizslalady - curious if we work for the same company
My SIL works for Shell and they get the awesome 16 weeks paid!
Very cool. Different company, but so happy to hear there a few excellent ones out there who offer this amazing benefit!
@cdepperschmidt Well the thing is that everyone's going to focus on and push for the issue that's most important/personal for them. I think more moms need to get out there and push for those things, because no one else is going to. Easier said than done because who the hell has time for that?! But we'll never get it all at once, so any victory is a step in the right direction.
I completely agree. It’s unfortunate because those of us who see it as a priority really have our hands full being moms. I never realized how important paid maternity leave was until DS was born and then life got crazy.
I'll get 10 weeks paid plus 2 additional weeks to use throughout the year for doctor appointments, etc. I'm planning to take an additional 12 weeks off.
I won’t get any paid time off. I’m an independent contractor but plan on starting back up come the first of the new year. Husband gets 16 weeks paid paternity, 6 additional months unpaid if he chooses. He can also break up his leave over a year. He plans on taking a month when baby comes (maybe shorter or longer depending on his current promotion situation) and will take the rest of the time a few months down the road along with his 5 weeks PTO.
I'll get 12 weeks maternity leave - 6 weeks paid by my company and 6 weeks unpaid FMLA. I can also tack on my vacation time. I've been saving those hours up since we started TTC so I should have about 4 weeks by the time I have the baby.
I have to do a ton of research and talk to HR about my position though. I've been with my company for 10 years and last year, changed jobs within the company and was hired for a ~2-year rotational position. At the end of the apx two years, I have to move on. They hire someone new for my role and I would have to look for a new job within the company and apply for it (or I have the option to leave the company and get a job somewhere else). My rotation will be over about two months after I come back from leave. Ideally, I would love to come back to finish out my position (and/or train my replacement) and then instead of looking for a new position in my company, transition to a SAHM for a while. I have no idea if I can do this or not, what the logistics are for after a rotational assignment ends, if they'll give me a layoff or if I have to quit, etc. So I'll talk to my HR business partner for guidance but I'm praying that since it's close to the end of my position, the timing will work out for all involved... hopefully. Who freaking knows though. I can't believe we live in a country where we have to be grateful to *sometimes* get 3-4 months with our infants, depending on employer. I know not everyone can take 12-16 weeks so I'm thankful I can but it's mind boggling the awful state of our maternity leave. I am so jealous of other countries who have their sh*t together lol.
Me: 33 DH: 31 Location: Castle Rock, CO DD: 10.13.18 baby #2 due: 7.14.20
@chyvie DH and I talk all the time about how if we didn't have any family here in the U.S. we would move to Canada or Europe. I'm not sure how accurate this is but I read an article that for the U.S. to have a health care system similar to Canada our taxes would only slightly increase. I also think that people forget just how much they're paying for their health insurance out of their pay check, plus what the employer is paying, on top of the out of pocket costs. They'd be paying less over all with a tax increase. Sigh.
@knottieamusements Daycare destroys us. We chose to have another child over buying a house for our family for the time being bc we can't afford both. When we first had DD my husband was working a full time job, a part time job, and then a seasonal job part of the first year. That was three jobs at one time at one point for us to be able to afford daycare and child support for his daughter (who we have 50% custody of). Since then we've both gotten new jobs that pay better and we're better off financially, but DH still works a full time job and coaches a college sports team as supplemental income so we can afford daycare and have some safety net of a savings.
I'm really jealous of you ladies who will get a long leave! With my son I only took 6 weeks, went back to work for a few days, and then was out for the summer. (I'm a teacher.) With this one I plan to take the full 12 weeks (60 days), but I'm thinking it will be closer to 15 weeks off because of Thanksgiving and Christmas break!
Most of it will be unpaid leave, because I can only use whatever sick days that I have saved up. I have found a part time job that I am starting soon, so we can build up our savings before the baby comes,
This might be more of a BF, but I wanted to put it here to keep the info together. I finally got my vacation accrual fixed at work (it hasn't worked since I transferred roles in Sept...) so I was looking at how much I'll have when baby comes. I started to calculate out how many weeks I'll have paid. I assumed that since we have 2 days at Thanksgiving and 6 days at Christmas of vacation, I'd be paid for those days. NOPE! Thanksgiving will fall during my STD, so I'm already getting paid during that time. That makes sense, but sucks. My 2nd to last week (if baby comes on time) will be Christmas week, which we get Christmas day to NY Day paid. Since I'll be on FMLA I won't get paid for those days.
I talked to my manager. I could technically come back on 12/24 for the day and then get all of Christmas paid. I'd just end up forefitting a few days at the end of my FMLA. Which, is worth the money really. She even said I could work from home that day. At least it works out, but it kinda sucks!
@sammierose464 I feel ya. I was SO annoyed when I found out I didn't get the paid holidays during my time off - I thought it would extend my leave since I don't need it on those days, but that's not how it works. That's amazing that your manager is so nice about it all, though!
What?!?! This is news to me, I need to schedule a meeting with my HR rep. I was counting on one week being holiday pay..didn't realize it's not paid during FMLA. Ugh.
We get 17 weeks total off but only about 8 is paid STD/maternity leave and the rest will come from PTO, well I'll only have 3 weeks PTO and then the new year's PTO but I don't want to use it all up before I come back. It can't just be easy or even better all paid!
Re: USA - How long will your maternity leave be?
I was just thinking the same, I need to stop reading. It's making me angry. I'll only accumulate about 2 weeks of PTO before the baby comes. 3-4 if I get the bonus Perfect Attendance Days every opportunity between now and then. My employer offers STD I waived it during open enrollment.
@sammierose464 Yeah, I did wonder about that. It's worth asking, but I assume it'll be like @kiwi2628 said: that I won't be eligible because I didn't sign up prior to pregnancy. My company is not very employee friendly, so I also assume the worst with them. Lol. I had no plans to get pregnant again, which is why I didn't want to pay for it.
I’ll work all my part time jobs as long as I can, then will hopefully be back as soon as possible after for weekend work. This is my first...how long do we think I can work 12-15 hr days on my feet???
I'll do it again this time...
TTC since 2016
Due: October 12, 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada
It's not just the government... NO ONE cares. You try and bring up paid maternity leave in a group of people, and half of them will bite your head off and ask why it's anyone's responsibility to take care of you when YOU chose to have a baby. So many people only care about themselves.
TW - politics (including pro choice)
Trust us, we know that as far as developed countries go, we are something like #30 when it comes to women’s rights and support of women’s health. TW: We also have one of the highest rates of infant mortality in the developed world. Seriously, it is ridiculous.
I literally spent last night trying to figure out how my paycheck is going to change when I have baby, and where the extra $1800 a month is going to come from that I will need between daycare and additional health insurance. Think about that for a minute. $1800 a month is $21,600. In the U.S., minimum wage is $7.25, which works out to $15,000 a year. I’m literally looking at spending more on daycare and health insurance for baby than some people make in a year. I’m grateful that I can afford it. I honestly don’t know how some people do (yes, I know- family support, gov assistance, charity- but all of that only goes so far).
And on the flip side- the federal government has reversed policy making it harder for women to afford birth control, and the states continue their attacks on both teaching children and teenagers about preventing pregnancy and access to safe abortions.
Whoops! Where did that soap box come from?
Jealous of some of these generous company's who offer 100% paid leave and more than 12 weeks. It makes me so mad that the US does not better care for women and children and allow more time for a paid maternity leave.
My husband does not get paternity leave. Last time he took 1.5 weeks off, this time he is planning to take 2-3 weeks of PTO.
But Viagra? Well in that case, sex is a biological need. Let's get every man access to that.
@bethica83 Don't even get me started on the concept of not paying for birth control! When I heard that my mind was blown!
You should all move to Canada! Where you can get free health care, eat poutine, butter tarts and ketchup chips all while taking 18 months paid time off with your babies!
TTC since 2016
Due: October 12, 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada
As for me, I spent 10 years in Alaska. I’m only moving south.
@knottieamusements I can't even afford daycare for DS, which is why I was planning to be one and done. My mother watches him and my SS helps out. I have no idea how people afford it.
@bethica83 I hate our warped idea of independence in this country. Everyone gets out of the house as soon as possible and spends years scraping by. My ex BFF was from Italy and everyone there stays with their parents until their set and getting married. Their country has it's own issues, but they start their adult life with savings and some idea of how to take care of themselves. My SS is 17 and already making plans to move out and get an apartment.
@chyvie Yup. Feels like it's every man for himself down here. It's awful. I can't even discuss it most of the time because I'm significantly more liberal than my folks.... who are fairly wealthy and set for life. My husband and I scrape by and can only afford health insurance because my H is a union member, so it's paid for. I would totally move to Canada! .....but my husband has a record from when he was a teenager and isn't allowed to cross the border.
my job holds my teaching position for up to two years. I’ll be taking one year this time. Last time around I only took six months. I’m not the greatest ever SAHM, but daycare is over $3,100 a month for ONE kid no way it would make sense for two!
DSS born 01/2016
TTC since 01/2017
Letrozole + TI = BFP 01/30/2018 | EDD 10/11/2018
I basically planned to work until I was due, giving my employer a week or two notice that I would not be back once I had my baby. My husband and I have planned for me to be a SAHM, and luckily he has been able to get a few raises plus is eligible for overtime pay so that we can afford it and have a healthy buffer.
The new kink in the plan is that we found a home sooner than we intended, so I may be quitting my job in April, rather than October. If so, I will just look for part time work, until I start to show, cause no one's gonna hire someone who is noticeably pregnant! It just means that my income is no longer going towards savings. I've been tracking my spending for the past year (literally every penny) to be sure my husband has plenty to cover all our expenses.
Me 32 and DH 40
Fur-baby named Bella
1 MC Nov. 2013
DD born Nov. 2, 2014
Little 2 EDD Oct. 1
I'll get 12 weeks maternity leave - 6 weeks paid by my company and 6 weeks unpaid FMLA. I can also tack on my vacation time. I've been saving those hours up since we started TTC so I should have about 4 weeks by the time I have the baby.
I have to do a ton of research and talk to HR about my position though. I've been with my company for 10 years and last year, changed jobs within the company and was hired for a ~2-year rotational position. At the end of the apx two years, I have to move on. They hire someone new for my role and I would have to look for a new job within the company and apply for it (or I have the option to leave the company and get a job somewhere else). My rotation will be over about two months after I come back from leave. Ideally, I would love to come back to finish out my position (and/or train my replacement) and then instead of looking for a new position in my company, transition to a SAHM for a while. I have no idea if I can do this or not, what the logistics are for after a rotational assignment ends, if they'll give me a layoff or if I have to quit, etc. So I'll talk to my HR business partner for guidance but I'm praying that since it's close to the end of my position, the timing will work out for all involved... hopefully. Who freaking knows though. I can't believe we live in a country where we have to be grateful to *sometimes* get 3-4 months with our infants, depending on employer. I know not everyone can take 12-16 weeks so I'm thankful I can but it's mind boggling the awful state of our maternity leave. I am so jealous of other countries who have their sh*t together lol.
Me: 33 DH: 31
Location: Castle Rock, CO
DD: 10.13.18
baby #2 due: 7.14.20
@knottieamusements Daycare destroys us. We chose to have another child over buying a house for our family for the time being bc we can't afford both. When we first had DD my husband was working a full time job, a part time job, and then a seasonal job part of the first year. That was three jobs at one time at one point for us to be able to afford daycare and child support for his daughter (who we have 50% custody of). Since then we've both gotten new jobs that pay better and we're better off financially, but DH still works a full time job and coaches a college sports team as supplemental income so we can afford daycare and have some safety net of a savings.
Most of it will be unpaid leave, because I can only use whatever sick days that I have saved up. I have found a part time job that I am starting soon, so we can build up our savings before the baby comes,
I finally got my vacation accrual fixed at work (it hasn't worked since I transferred roles in Sept...) so I was looking at how much I'll have when baby comes. I started to calculate out how many weeks I'll have paid. I assumed that since we have 2 days at Thanksgiving and 6 days at Christmas of vacation, I'd be paid for those days. NOPE! Thanksgiving will fall during my STD, so I'm already getting paid during that time. That makes sense, but sucks. My 2nd to last week (if baby comes on time) will be Christmas week, which we get Christmas day to NY Day paid. Since I'll be on FMLA I won't get paid for those days.
I talked to my manager. I could technically come back on 12/24 for the day and then get all of Christmas paid. I'd just end up forefitting a few days at the end of my FMLA. Which, is worth the money really. She even said I could work from home that day. At least it works out, but it kinda sucks!
We get 17 weeks total off but only about 8 is paid STD/maternity leave and the rest will come from PTO, well I'll only have 3 weeks PTO and then the new year's PTO but I don't want to use it all up before I come back. It can't just be easy or even better all paid!