Feels good to be back home after a weekend away but this week I'm hitting the ground running and I'm dreading it a bit. Just super busy. As this wasn't enough, bff is starting to ask a million questions about the baby shower. I could not care less about a theme and I don't want it to be so similar to our wedding which was just in October. Our nursery doesn't even have a theme, just a color scheme maybe. I just want to pick a random evite card and gather people for a fun bbq/pool day that also happens to be a celebration for the baby. LOL.
@kissableviv I am now officially asking my sister to wait to plan my shower until it's nice enough to do a BBQ or day at the river! That is a great idea!
Me: 31 DH: 34 Married: April 2016 TTC December 2016 BFP 2/28/17 // CP 3/1/17 MFI Diagnosis: Aug 2017 BFP 11/1/17 // DS born 6/18 TTC January 2019 BFP 3/21/19 // D&C (MMC) 5/8/19
@kissableviv We are (hopefully) doing the same. We are having a co-ed get together. I am hoping it will basically be a big casual party/bbq with all of our friends and family. However, my SILs are planning it and "casual" isn't usually the way they go. We will see. I am just grateful they are planning it and all I have to do is show up lol
omg guys!! I complained and got money back at sears....I never manage to complain well!! Like i'm the girl that gets her hair butchered and still tips >_< They never called me for delivery, I had to call them, they forgot to deliver the filter so I can't use the water/ice until they ups one, and the thing is filthy inside and out so I got my $87 delivery fee waived. apparently i should have pushed for more...but hey I'm shocked I got the $87 back lol
Exactly, I just think since it's for all our friends not just girls I really want it to be casual and fun, something people will want to go to. I don't want to spend time thinking of a theme so whoever plans it decorates it accordingly. I just did that for my wedding and drove myself crazy. Plus she said "usually there's a theme that ties in with your nursery". Nothing like telling her we like whales and then all we get has whales on it, lol. Our nursery is doubling as an office plus we are renting so we're not painting or doing anything fancy. We'll get some cute decals and pick a color scheme, probably grey and blue because it's easy and we like it, and that's it!
@kissableviv - that sounds awesome. This mom-to-be picks the theme is completely news to me - but then again my shower was thrown by my MIL so maybe it's a generational thing? she did make it purple colored because we were doing the nursery in purple, but the invites were baby pink and there wasn't really a "theme" just baby and purple lol
@ashbub714 How exciting that we are all getting to the point of feeling the babies! Yay! Now that you've felt it, do you think you may have felt it before and didn't recognize it? Once I felt the more distinct movements, I was thinking maybe I had felt them several times but just chalked it up to muscle twitches lol.
@kissableviv That sounds so nice. Now I'm craving bbq type food lol.
My coworker told me that she is throwing me a baby shower. I am really excited but also nervous. I feel so weird asking for things lol.
Sorry that I haven't been around, the adjustment period for me here in California has been really difficult but I am super thankful to be here. I hope everyone is doing really well! I can't believe we are all so far along now!
I wish we could do a co-ed shower/bbq because I'd love DH to be there, but my parents haven't been divorced for very long and they still can't be in the same place for very long without it becoming tense. My brother had everyone together at his place on Christmas Eve and it was one of the most horrible evenings in ages, don't want to go through that again anytime soon. So I asked my mom and BFF to plan a girls only thing, otherwise I don't care what they come up with, whatever it is will be over the top and annoying, but I'm trying to be gracious about it.
@noideawhatshesdoing that’s so frustrating, my parents are the same way but they haven’t been together since I was a toddler lol. I hope things get more comfortable with time! I’ve resigned to dividing holidays and functions for the rest of my life
@hayhay93 so glad you're getting settled and in a better place!!
DH felt her kick for the first time this morning I started seeing her kick yesterday, so I knew it was only a timing matter until he would feel her!
@gingerbride26 My cousin who is in her late 20s is throwing my shower, so It could be a generational thing.. I imagine if my MIL threw it... oh gosh. All super generic decorations and just... old. Haha
I'm not sure. FTM here, but again, I haven't been to many showers so I have no idea how all that works!
We are also doing a coed BBQ casual shower! Bring your beer/wine and we will grill some burgers and just relax....no formal games or anything...presents optional. So basically just a cook out and I'm 100% cool with that
@hayhay93 I also feel super weird registering and asking for things....
@kissableviv I completely blame Pinterest for the current need to have a theme for everything. Unless it's a kids birthday party, you don't need a theme! If you want one, fine, but the pressure to make everything into a theme is a bit much sometimes. Anyway, I would 100% tell the hostess that they are free to decorate however they want, and to just consult you about the guest list (and maybe menu because...food).
I ended up having 3 showers with my first - one my mom & sisters threw, one co-ed with friends, and 1 at work. For my mom and sisters, they were pestering me about a theme so I just told them books and to ask people to bring a book instead of a card. It was cute.
Our co-ed one was super fun, just a BBQ. No games, people brought presents that I opened after a lot of people had left and just let everyone else keep drinking and hanging out.
The work one was supposed to be a surprise, but I knew about it all along. It was nice though and I didn't have to plan anything!
I was also a little surprised when my SIL asked what the nursery theme was. I was like umm probably stars and moon? so I'm assuming that's what the shower theme will be. And for "theme for the nursery" I mean we picked out some crib sheets with stars and mobile with stars and moon... and that's about it lol. DH and I always buy stuff that says "I love you to the moon and back" and sign our cards to each other that way so that's how it got started I guess. I kind of thought the theme of baby showers was... baby.. lol
@acunamatada It might get easier with time, but I doubt it. My parents are the kind of people that should never have been together in the first place. Zero in common. I'm ok with keeping my mom and dad separate, it's less stressful! Otherwise I end up stuck playing referee, and I get along better with my dad than I do with mom, so that causes drama too. So other than things like school plays I have no intention of them being in the same place at the same time. My middle brother has stupidly started saying that mom and dad "just need to get over it", which is dumb because bro doesn't want to be around his ex wife he's been divorced from for 5 years and they were married for like 3 years. So if he can't get over it, why should my parents who were married for 35 years and together for 37 have to get over it? Bro is only saying this because his new wife says it, I dislike that woman.
Wow @noideawhatshesdoing married 35 years and then divorced? I am always fascinated by people who can stay together that long and then call it quits. I have lots of friends who's parents went that route, like they divorced after my friends graduated high school.
Yeah I'm just really over all these cutesy crafty things, maybe because I'm still exhausted from all I did for the wedding.
@noideawhatshesdoing if my parents were here it would have also been weird because my mom and dad didn't really talk for many years after divorcing but my dad passed and my mom and stepdad live in Italy anyways, so even though it isn't great I'm glad that's one thing I don't have to think about. FIL and MIL will probably fly out here since otherwise they won't see us until baby arrives but they are awesome so I'm happy about that. I'm just stressing because my BFF is in Florida and she had some jealousy issues when some local friends threw me a bridal shower (that I did not request...) and she couldn't be involved or be there because of the distance. But it's not my problem so I'm hoping she can collaborate with people here that have expressed the desire to help with the shower.
Family drama is the worst. I like to keep my parents separated too. My step-mom is also the devil in nice clothing. Luckily my stepdad is amazing and my mom is mature enough to deal with them for important things like weddings.
@SmashJam I’ve heard of that happening before too. My MIL’s parents were together for a lonnnnggg time and divorced when they were middle aged. I guess he was a really terribly human being for a long time, but they were teenagers when they got married so they weren’t sure what else to do? Now that they’re old he takes care of her pretty well which is cute. Especially since he has a girlfriend lol. Families are weird.
Ive also heard people stay together for the kids or because bills and taxes are more convenient when married. Some people just shouldnt though.
@SmashJam I love my parents, but they seriously should never have been together. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad they were together because I like existing, but other than that, they have nothing in common and really wanted different things in life. Seriously, Dad just did a 3 week hike in Peru all around the Andes and Cusco, Machu Pichu, etc then came home and ran a marathon at age 60, Mom prefers to sit inside and paint or watch movies all the time. Nothing in common. The last couple years of their marriage was miserable to be on the sidelines of. They are both much happier now and I wish they had split up earlier because they wasted so much time being miserable and making everyone around them miserable. In fact, Mom got married last year to an old friend she knew 40+ years ago and I've never seen her happier, it's like she finally found her other half.
My anatomy scan is in 2.5 hours, I'm so nervous. I'm trying to stay calm but it's not working. Thankfully I'm leaving work soon so I can decompress a bit though nothing is calming these nerves. Just hoping and praying she's ok in there.
@SmashJam and @hillbillywife - I've heard of it a lot too - i think it's 1) generational - growing up, our parents were taught divorce is super taboo and against some religions 2) when the kids are home, you have common ground and something to distract you, they leave the house and suddenly it's just the two of you and you don't know each other any more. It can go the opposite too though - my parents stopped fighting when I moved out lol though I still swear they never should have stayed married...he says "it's cheaper to keep her" (facepalm) oh dad....
It keeps randomly hitting me, and just did again today, that I cannot believe I'm here. I cannot believe that, after 2 kids and 2 miscarriages, I'm having this surprise rainbow baby when I swore up and down that I'm DONE. It's taken a long time to sink in and, quite honestly, for me to accept it but I'm really starting to look forward to doing this all again. Like, I have a chance to get it "right"... not that I did anything wrong the first two times, but that maybe my brain and anxiety and stress to be "perfect" will finally fade and allow me to just enjoy the journey.
@lindsayleigh1989 thanks girl, I know I've been complaining about the nerves all week It's weird because I'm not a stressed mom at all, even when DD was a newborn and I'm not typically anxious in general but man these appointments mess me up! The high risk scare definitely didn't help.
@runsomewhere it's okay! I was the same way! haha I felt way better with a newborn than I ever did before big appointments haha. and with your scare it totally makes sense. Hope everything goes smoothly and instantly alleviates any tension or anxiety!
@WorkinWeezel thanks, DH is hopefully going to make it and we are going to have a lunch date after, hopefully to celebrate a healthy, thriving baby girl.
I'm scared because I was nervous just like this before my last Dr.'s appointment and it didn't go well at all.
@runsomewhere yay for anatomy scan!!! Hope it goes well! Mine is tomorrow and I’m a ball of nerves too. Every time I think about it I kinda want to throw up.
@SmashJam Mom and her new hubby are pretty cute together. Two peas in a pod and he's the best thing that has ever happened to her. They knew each other when they were teens in Michigan, lost touch for decades and I guess he'd been looking for her for the last handful of years. It's actually a pretty sweet story and he's written it into a book that is being published this summer.
Now if only my dad could find someone that compliments him as well, he has the most annoying girlfriend in the world and my brothers and I can't stand her. But we can't say anything because he's like her little puppy. We don't like her and she doesn't like us. So it's like we share custody of my dad.
I have a meeting with my benefits lady tomorrow to talk about my maternity leave. I’m hoping i can do 10 wks straight followed by part time until i reach a total of 16 wks worth. It should last me through the end of the year. Super excited!
Re: Randoms Pt. 1 2/26-27
TTC December 2016
BFP 2/28/17 // CP 3/1/17
MFI Diagnosis: Aug 2017
BFP 11/1/17 // DS born 6/18
TTC January 2019
BFP 3/21/19 // D&C (MMC) 5/8/19
edited grammar
They never called me for delivery, I had to call them, they forgot to deliver the filter so I can't use the water/ice until they ups one, and the thing is filthy inside and out so I got my $87 delivery fee waived. apparently i should have pushed for more...but hey I'm shocked I got the $87 back lol
@kissableviv That sounds so nice. Now I'm craving bbq type food lol.
My coworker told me that she is throwing me a baby shower. I am really excited but also nervous. I feel so weird asking for things lol.
Sorry that I haven't been around, the adjustment period for me here in California has been really difficult but I am super thankful to be here. I hope everyone is doing really well! I can't believe we are all so far along now!
@hayhay93 so glad you're getting settled and in a better place!!
DH felt her kick for the first time this morning
I started seeing her kick yesterday, so I knew it was only a timing matter until he would feel her!
@gingerbride26 My cousin who is in her late 20s is throwing my shower, so It could be a generational thing.. I imagine if my MIL threw it... oh gosh. All super generic decorations and just... old. Haha
I'm not sure. FTM here, but again, I haven't been to many showers so I have no idea how all that works!
@hayhay93 I also feel super weird registering and asking for things....
Our co-ed one was super fun, just a BBQ. No games, people brought presents that I opened after a lot of people had left and just let everyone else keep drinking and hanging out.
The work one was supposed to be a surprise, but I knew about it all along. It was nice though and I didn't have to plan anything!
@noideawhatshesdoing if my parents were here it would have also been weird because my mom and dad didn't really talk for many years after divorcing but my dad passed and my mom and stepdad live in Italy anyways, so even though it isn't great I'm glad that's one thing I don't have to think about. FIL and MIL will probably fly out here since otherwise they won't see us until baby arrives but they are awesome so I'm happy about that. I'm just stressing because my BFF is in Florida and she had some jealousy issues when some local friends threw me a bridal shower (that I did not request...) and she couldn't be involved or be there because of the distance. But it's not my problem so I'm hoping she can collaborate with people here that have expressed the desire to help with the shower.
@SmashJam I’ve heard of that happening before too. My MIL’s parents were together for a lonnnnggg time and divorced when they were middle aged. I guess he was a really terribly human being for a long time, but they were teenagers when they got married so they weren’t sure what else to do? Now that they’re old he takes care of her pretty well which is cute. Especially since he has a girlfriend lol. Families are weird.
Ive also heard people stay together for the kids or because bills and taxes are more convenient when married. Some people just shouldnt though.
Married 9/2015
TTC #1 6/2016
Dx Unexplained IF 6/2017
Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI 7/2017 - Cancelled (overstimulated)
Letrozole + Ovidrel + IUI #1 - BFN
Letrozole + Ovidrel + IUI #2 -BFN
Letrozole + Ovidrel + IUI#3 - BFP! EDD July 15 2018
Baby Girl H - July 22 2018
My anatomy scan is in 2.5 hours, I'm so nervous. I'm trying to stay calm but it's not working. Thankfully I'm leaving work soon so I can decompress a bit though nothing is calming these nerves. Just hoping and praying she's ok in there.
Sorry, totally random thought for the day!
Married: 6/27/2008
DS: 3/14/2010 Planned, PG first try
M/C 6/2012
DD: 4/22/2013 Planned, UnDx Infertility, PG on our own
BFP: 10/28/2016 Unplanned, HUGE SURPRISE!
M/C 12/12/2016
BFP: 10/27/2017 Unplanned, HUGE SURPRISE
EDD: 7/2/2018
@WorkinWeezel I hope your anxiety does allow you to enjoy the journey eventually!
It's weird because I'm not a stressed mom at all, even when DD was a newborn and I'm not typically anxious in general but man these appointments mess me up! The high risk scare definitely didn't help.
@kissableviv I think that sounds wonderful!!!! A little hang time at the pool with some friends is the perfect celebration
@hayhay93 glad to see your face and hope all is going well
Married: 6/27/2008
DS: 3/14/2010 Planned, PG first try
M/C 6/2012
DD: 4/22/2013 Planned, UnDx Infertility, PG on our own
BFP: 10/28/2016 Unplanned, HUGE SURPRISE!
M/C 12/12/2016
BFP: 10/27/2017 Unplanned, HUGE SURPRISE
EDD: 7/2/2018
I'm scared because I was nervous just like this before my last Dr.'s appointment and it didn't go well at all.
Now if only my dad could find someone that compliments him as well, he has the most annoying girlfriend in the world and my brothers and I can't stand her. But we can't say anything because he's like her little puppy. We don't like her and she doesn't like us. So it's like we share custody of my dad.
@WorkinWeezel yay, what a good feeling! Here's to hoping we all enjoy the next 18-20 weeks in the least stressful way possible.