Hey guys!! I am definitely team finding out I’m almost 12 weeks now and can hardly wait to find out soon!! I have so much respect for team green haha how do you guys do it ?? Forever in awe of you haha. As a labor and delivery nurse it’s actually really exciting when I have patients who don’t know what sex they’re having! Makes it a surprise for me too
Also random question but how much of a connection is it normal to feel for your baby? This is my first pregnancy and I’m super excited and I think I have feelings of love for the little peanut. But then some days I forget that I’m pregnant and then I feel kinda guilty that I haven’t thought of the baby all day lol. Maybe I’m just overthinking !!
Ps here’s to letting our future children express themselves in any way they like !!
@sadiaaaaaa this will probably get me flamed, but I didn't feel a strong connection with DS until he was like 6 weeks old. I definitely had some untreated PPD/PPA, but I think some people just don't have that initial connection. I felt responsible for him and wanted to do a good job taking care of him, but I didn't have that life-changing moment some people talk about when they first see their child. So to answer your question, I do not think it's a bad thing that you sometimes forget your pregnant. In a few months, you'll be acutely aware of it all the time, so dont worry.
Me: 28, DH: 40 Married 9/28/13 DS born 11/12/15 EDD 8/13/18
@lakesideknitter I didn't feel a connection with DS1 until at least 6 weeks, probably more. I also had untreated PPD and it took me a very long time to feel that connection. Luckily with DS2 I recognized PPD a lot faster and was able to start treatment quickly. Plus DS1 had a super traumatic birth experience whereas DS2 was like a vacation so it was easier for me to connect with him when I wasn't recovering from what I was recovering from with DS1. AND BF was extremely hard with 1 and extremely easy with 2 so there was another factors. There are so many things new moms don't know, like the reality of giving birth being a not so amazing and happy experience and you more feel like you were hit by a bus after being awake for 48 hours, and society expects us to just deliver this baby and immediately be like OMG I LOVE YOU SO MUCH THIS WAS THE BEST THING EVER. Ok sorry for word vomit, but I feel super passionate about this.
@sadiaaaaaa that’s pretty normal. When you’re pregnant it’s so abstract. I’m super excited to be pregnant, but I don’t love this baby like I love my son. I know I will, but I don’t yet. Personally I think knowing the sex and picking out a name can help with that. And I loved DS when he was born, but when they are newborns and not smiling.... It’s really hard to feel like you’re connecting wth your child. I’ve always loved him, but I definitely love him more now, if that makes sense.
@sadiaaaaaa don’t beat yourself up. I wasn’t actively preventing or trying when I got pregnant with my first, and I was SHOCKED. Like I wanted my daughter but was also totally freaked out and felt so guilty about it. It kind of remained the rest of my pregnancy. Then I had to have an emergency c-section and didn’t feel super connected to her for months, when she started smiling at me and got a little bigger. It was an adjustment. She was loved, but nowhere near as much as she is loved now. It was a process for me. As a STM it is totally different for me. I am super excited about this baby and think about him/her all the time because I know where it leads.
I was connected to my pregnancy and felt something for the baby, but I definitely didn't feel in love with my daughter until a week or two after having her.
@lalala2004 said it so well. I loved my son immediately after I had him, which I know isn’t always the case, but man, it’s nothing compared to how I love him now. He’s just this cool little human now, who has all these ideas and opinions and it’s fun watching him learn and grow every day. He’s my little side kick. I honestly don’t feel as connected to this pregnancy as I did my first because I’m so busy with my 2 year old. Like somehow I was shocked when bump emailed me that I was 12 weeks. If it weren’t for thosse emails, I probably would forget how many weeks I was honestly. I do try to take some minutes out of everyday to send good vibes and “talk” to this baby because I’m weird like that.
I also loved my oldest immediately - each child I did honestly. We were really hoping for a girl with my 3rd and it melted away the instant I laid eyes on him... it sounds hokey but there was a moment there where it just, poof. But that is NOT always a given and not abnormal or an issue - though keep an eye on it.
In utero... super excited as a ftm but in hindsight no I wasn’t that connected. It was all so theoretical. I felt much more connected with the next 2 I think because I could better imagine another new version of my son.
TW: I was very connected to the first baby we lost. It made it so painful... so so hard. The second loss I wasn’t as connected with but still was.
This time my brain protected my heart more and I wasn’t connected much, until I felt the pregnancy was safer. I’m starting to get there now. It’s part of the reason I’m so desperate to find out the sex this time... next week I should know! I think it will help me connect more and ‘know’ this baby. I never felt I needed to know before but things change.
This is such a great convo to have about feeling connected/disconnected to baby before and after birth. I had a wonderful first birth experience but still had trouble feeling connected to DS. I even resented him at times and can remember thinking “what have I done?” because the change from pre baby life to life with a newborn was so sudden and overwhelming to me. I don’t feel particularly connected to this second baby yet and I’m not sure why. Probably because I’ve been so sick and tired and I’m still kind of in shock it’s happening.
This is such a great convo to have about feeling connected/disconnected to baby before and after birth. I had a wonderful first birth experience but still had trouble feeling connected to DS. I even resented him at times and can remember thinking “what have I done?” because the change from pre baby life to life with a newborn was so sudden and overwhelming to me. I don’t feel particularly connected to this second baby yet and I’m not sure why. Probably because I’ve been so sick and tired and I’m still kind of in shock it’s happening.
Definitely had these feelings too. I agree, this is so important to talk about. I had some major PPD and PPA that went relatively untreated until about 7 weeks pp. By then I was just a crazy person. I feel like I missed out on a lot in the early days but at least I know that it was normal, and I'm not a bad mom because of it.
My midwife just just called me with the results... baby is healthy... and a GIRL!!!!!!! OMGGGGGGG.
I was literally in the middle of making a boy version of this pic (and would then do a girl one too) when she called. I was NOT expecting to hear this fast and on a Sunday. and after 3 boys I hardly dared to even hope for a girl! Ahhhhhh.
i am DESPERATE to share but dh is at work and I don’t want to tell him there, since he’s very busy and stressed. And I can’t tell my sisters and mom before him. Omg omg omg.
Navy&thesea - FYI tagging with your handle doesn’t work. Might consider changing and get rid of the &
it’s a paid app called rhonna designs. I knew a ton of ppl who used it and Xmas and I got it then and then decided to hang onto it for using it to announce eventually. It’s pretty tedious to use but cute!
@pghctwife WoW this is awesome news. You were being really practical about this one being a girl, so I am glad you got a girl. So is she going to be draped in pink’s and purples?
@ssthomps lol early on at least BRING ON THE PINK! Ha. I actually really like little girls in other colors so I’m sure once I get all the flowers and pink out of my system she’ll be dressed more reasonably lol.
Ill also have to do some rainbows for our rainbow baby... and our girl name is ruby so some red too.
i definitely need to get a lot of our boy stuff to SELL bc I have a lot of plans.
Amdbyes, I was trying to be calm about it because I knew that whatever was already was determined and I didn’t want to set myself up fir disappointment. But DAMN I really wanted a girl.
@ssthomps lol early on at least BRING ON THE PINK! Ha. I actually really like little girls in other colors so I’m sure once I get all the flowers and pink out of my system she’ll be dressed more reasonably lol.
Ill also have to do some rainbows for our rainbow baby... and our girl name is ruby so some red too.
i definitely need to get a lot of our boy stuff to SELL bc I have a lot of plans.
Amdbyes, I was trying to be calm about it because I knew that whatever was already was determined and I didn’t want to set myself up fir disappointment. But DAMN I really wanted a girl.
Bring on the pink I do pinks but I also like the black and whites as well. I don’t believe I posted this, but my girl name is Ruby. YaY!
@pghctwife you got your girl! I'm so happy for you! Ruby will be one protected and loved little girl. Those big brothers will scare off any trouble and I'm sure they will treasure her
@pghctwife yay! Congrats on that little girl! What an awesome midwife, I bet she was super excited too!
She is the best. I seriously love her!! She sounded so excited! I was like omg I didn’t expect to hear today! And she said ‘as soon as I saw the results I just HAD to call!’ Squeeeee
My midwife just just called me with the results... baby is healthy... and a GIRL!!!!!!! OMGGGGGGG.
Sorry I can't tag so have to quote - congratulations, so happy for you! We can be first time girl moms after being repeat boy moms together! I was so curious to know what you would have since I relate to your stories of having a loss, being a boy mom etc. - I found out just under two weeks ago and have already bought so many girly outfits, florals, headbands etc - it's so fun! Enjoy it!
@sadiaaaaaa it takes a while for me to connect to them. I actuallly didn’t expect to really connect till they were 6 months but was surprised I connected around 8 weeks. I don’t really care for newborns and it’s hard to connect with something you can see quite yet (in your belly). So it’s totally normal like everyone said
@pghctwife congratulations!!! Send some of that girl juju my way! I have two boys and everyone is hoping for a girl, including me.
Thank you all!!! I’m trying to hold back a bit since with August she will wear summer stuff for like 6w. I need to focus on her fall wardrobe
ive had a coming home outfit in mind though, it’s not out yet but a little soft bubble romper from Boden with Dino’s embroidered on the top... she’s coming hone to 3 brothers who can easily also wear Dino’s
@alinafed so fun!!! It’ll be fun to share this journey have you found that your symptoms were different this time? Mine have been BIG time (morning sickness which I didn’t have with the boys) - interesting to see an owt come true.
My husband and I were definitely finding out. I got the results from genetic screening today and she's a GIRL! I'm thrilled; I have two stepsons already and only one bathroom.
Husband wouldn't talk names until we knew sex so it's on now! And I love muted pinks so there will be some in her future but she'll also wear lots of orange and navy.
Re: It’s a BOY / GIRL!
Also random question but how much of a connection is it normal to feel for your baby? This is my first pregnancy and I’m super excited and I think I have feelings of love for the little peanut. But then some days I forget that I’m pregnant and then I feel kinda guilty that I haven’t thought of the baby all day lol. Maybe I’m just overthinking !!
Ps here’s to letting our future children express themselves in any way they like !!
Married 9/28/13
DS born 11/12/15
EDD 8/13/18
August 18 Siggy Challenge: April Showers
In utero... super excited as a ftm but in hindsight no I wasn’t that connected. It was all so theoretical. I felt much more connected with the next 2 I think because I could better imagine another new version of my son.
TW:
I was very connected to the first baby we lost. It made it so painful... so so hard.
The second loss I wasn’t as connected with but still was.
This time my brain protected my heart more and I wasn’t connected much, until I felt the pregnancy was safer. I’m starting to get there now. It’s part of the reason I’m so desperate to find out the sex this time... next week I should know! I think it will help me connect more and ‘know’ this baby. I never felt I needed to know before but things change.
11/18/16 missed m/c 9w1
08/03/17 no hb 8w
Holy crap holy crap holy crap.
My midwife just just called me with the results... baby is healthy... and a GIRL!!!!!!! OMGGGGGGG.
I was literally in the middle of making a boy version of this pic (and would then do a girl one too) when she called. I was NOT expecting to hear this fast and on a Sunday. and after 3 boys I hardly dared to even hope for a girl! Ahhhhhh.
i am DESPERATE to share but dh is at work and I don’t want to tell him there, since he’s very busy and stressed. And I can’t tell my sisters and mom before him. Omg omg omg.
11/18/16 missed m/c 9w1
08/03/17 no hb 8w
Formerly known as Kate08young
August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Married: 7/22/14
Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms
Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms
TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017.
Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
BFP#1 11-23-2011 EDD 08-01-12 -- early miscarriage 11-27-2011 @ 4W4D
DX hashimoto's hypothyroidism Jan2012
BFP#2 5-14-2012 EDD 01-21-13 -- early miscarriage 05-17-2012 @ 4W3D
BFP#3 7-15-2012 EDD 03-29-13
Me: 37, MH: 38; Married August 2017
TTC #1 October 2017: BFP on 12/1/2017, DD born 7/24/2018 @ 37+1 after induction due to preeclampsia
TTC #2 January 2020: AMA, dx with DOR in May 2020
IVF July 2020: 16 eggs retrieved, 14 mature, 12 fertilized, 3 blasts, 2 PGT-A normal
FET 10/7/20: BFP on 10/12/20!!! (EDD 6/25/21); First beta 10/16/20 (9dpt): 148; Second beta 10/19/20 (12dpt): 621; Third beta 10/26/20 (19dpt): 4732; Fourth (and final!) beta 11/2/20 (26 dpt): 22,000+
it’s a paid app called rhonna designs. I knew a ton of ppl who used it and Xmas and I got it then and then decided to hang onto it for using it to announce eventually. It’s pretty tedious to use but cute!
11/18/16 missed m/c 9w1
08/03/17 no hb 8w
Ill also have to do some rainbows for our rainbow baby... and our girl name is ruby so some red too.
i definitely need to get a lot of our boy stuff to SELL bc I have a lot of plans.
Amdbyes, I was trying to be calm about it because I knew that whatever was already was determined and I didn’t want to set myself up fir disappointment. But DAMN I really wanted a girl.
11/18/16 missed m/c 9w1
08/03/17 no hb 8w
August '18 March Siggy Challenge - You had ONE JOB
11/18/16 missed m/c 9w1
08/03/17 no hb 8w
11/18/16 missed m/c 9w1
08/03/17 no hb 8w
Me: 37 Him: 38
Married 11.07.2015
Sorry I can't tag so have to quote - congratulations, so happy for you! We can be first time girl moms after being repeat boy moms together! I was so curious to know what you would have since I relate to your stories of having a loss, being a boy mom etc. - I found out just under two weeks ago and have already bought so many girly outfits, florals, headbands etc - it's so fun! Enjoy it!
DS: 5.28.15
DS#2: EDD 8.31.18
@pghctwife congratulations!!! Send some of that girl juju my way! I have two boys and everyone is hoping for a girl, including me.
ive had a coming home outfit in mind though, it’s not out yet but a little soft bubble romper from Boden with Dino’s embroidered on the top... she’s coming hone to 3 brothers who can easily also wear Dino’s
@alinafed so fun!!! It’ll be fun to share this journey
11/18/16 missed m/c 9w1
08/03/17 no hb 8w
Husband wouldn't talk names until we knew sex so it's on now! And I love muted pinks so there will be some in her future but she'll also wear lots of orange and navy.