Weekly Randoms- 12/18 - Page 2 — The Bump
April 2018 Moms

Weekly Randoms- 12/18

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Re: Weekly Randoms- 12/18

  • @kmalls yes I can start it as it's own thread.  I figured I would try it on the random before making it its own to see how it would take. 

    @ladythrice I totally agree that there is pressure and shame brought on to both sides.  Not going to lie BF makes me very uncomfortable but I in no way would ever tell a mother she can't do it in front of me.  In fact I would even defend a mom who was trying to in public and was getting shame for it.  I want to support a women no matter how she is feeding her baby,  I just wish more people would see it that way. 

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  • kmalls said:
    @ladythrice I totally agree that there is an overall lack of support for moms who want to breastfeed and also a lack of support for those that formula feed.  I breastfed my son until he weaned himself around 13-14 months.  Mine was also more of a personal goal because it was something I wanted to do.  I wanted to make it to a year.  I was lucky that my son's pediatrician was super supportive (he was always on the lower end percentile wise).  She never pressured me to add formula, but offered it as a choice.  I got a lot of crap for having to pump at work though (I worked at the time with just two men...now there are at least a couple of other women here but they have grown children).  Because apparently I took "half a day" to pump and "why are you still going shouldn't you have stopped already?"  I really think it all stems from there is just a lack of empathy and support for moms in general, especially working moms.  Moms aren't really valued like they are in some other countries.
    This is an amazing point!
    Yup, I 100% agree with that point. Though I’d feel remiss if I didn’t point out that SAHMs are quite often just as undervalued and experience the same overall lack of support/understanding as working moms. I can’t even tell you the amount of times I’ve been out running errands on a week day and had someone say “day off today?” Ummm no, I’m a stay at home mom. “Oh, then every day is your day off!” 

    Fuck. Off. 
    Rude much?  Like SAHM just sit on their ass all day?!  Some people seriously have no filters.  You really can't win on either side.


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  • ftm_ohioftm_ohio member
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    edited December 2017
    @kmalls 100%
    We just had an incident with our male cat, my first baby, when he spent 3 days in the animal hospital for urinary blockage. When we took him, they were like, "If we treat him it'll cost $750-900, do you want the treatment?" It wasn't even a discussion! 

    So now that's he's back home he gets prescription food (literally had to get a vet to write a prescription, didn't know that was a thing) costs $70/13lb bag. Ugh!

    On top of that he's had respiratory issues since the day we brought him home 2 years ago. He has Asthma and goes to the vet every 6 weeks for a steroid shot $32 every time. Sometimes more often in the spring. He has a flea allergy and if he gets even slightly stressed he loses the hair in his belly and ears. But we love him so much and the cost is worth it to us. He brings us so much love and happiness!

    ETA my cousin has 2 dogs and they both had a rough year. She totaled her vet bills the other day for JUST this year, >$10,000!!


    kmalls
  • @icalynn Apoquel is exactly what our dog was on! I will say that after trying 4 other medications plus steroid shots (which, like in your case, were completely ineffective) it was the ONLY thing that brought her rash and ensuing skin infection under control. 

    As for the limited ingredient diet: if there’s been no change in the skin issues since you’ve switched, have you considered environmental allergies instead of food allergies as the culprit? We are 99% sure it’s not food allergies, so while our dogs are on a chicken/grain/potato-free diet, we found one that’s a fraction of the price of other brands (it’s called Zignature if you want to look it up). No use dropping big $$ if food isn’t the main issue. 

    Now we’re treating with a dose of Quercetin daily, plus salmon oil, then the raw food and goats milk. Oh, and a prescription hydrocortisone spray that has been WONDERFUL in addition to Jax n’ Daisy shampoo. Fingers freaking crossed that all of this will make a difference! 

    @ftm_ohio $70 for a 13 lb bag!! That would make me cry! I’m so sorry you’ve had so many issues with your dog but it sounds like you’re doing everything you can for him. He’s lucky he found you! 
    ftm_ohiog_amoss
  • I feel everyone on the cost of pets.  I had a cat for 10 years that was the best cat ever.  She was super cuddly, polite, etc.  However, she was suicidally attracted to eating small objects.   I had a handle on keeping small items under lock and key until I went through a period of having roommates, and then living with my husband.  It is just impossible to keep the house 100% clean of small objects for years on end with other people there.  She ended up going through 3 surgeries each costing about 3k for stomach blockages.

    By the 4th time she got blocked, she had too much scar adhesions in her stomach and the vet told me they shouldn't keep doing repeated surgeries.  We had to let her go :(.  I was so devistated.
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  • That's crazy @ftm_ohio ... over $10k in vet bills!? I was upset when our dog ate a rug and we had a $700 vet bill. I hope they had pet insurance!
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  • @kmalls I do cry a little every time I order a bag.

    @ngolimento my female cat eats dumb things too, but luckily she had never gotten blocked, she just vomits a couple times a week. Her newest obsession is pulling up the edge of the carpet and eating pieces. *eye roll*
    So sad about your little girl. Sorry you went through that!

    @peppersmith22 I'm sure she does, but even so she spent that much. Her older dog had to have leg surgery and then he ended up with a severe allergic reaction at the end of November that caused a week long hospital stay and a trach. Her female has had a chronic urinary infection that's resulted in freaking CT scans and specialized labs.. It's been crazy for her!
  • @scuba_chic OMG I NEED THAT.  :D

    Me: 31yo DH: 38yo
    Married: 07/16/16
    TTC #1: 04/17
    BFP: 8/1/17 EDD: 4/16/18
    scuba_chic
  • @scuba_chic that is GREAT!

    Me: 29 DH: 35

    Married 5/3/14, TTC ever since

    DX: Lean PCOS, Clomid resistant

    Femara 7.5 + Ovidrel = BFP! Due 4/15/18

    scuba_chic
  • Definitely feel you all on the pet expenses. The first couple years of our beloved Frenchie’s life were kind of insane. He broke his elbow in a freak accident on the beach when he was just 4 months old, which required overnight stays and surgery with a screw placed in his elbow by a orthopedic specialist - $6,000, COOL!  He recovered like a champ and hasn’t had an issue with the elbow since. Then we discovered some gastrointestinal issues around a year old, testing was almost $1k and he’s now on limited ingredient food though not as severe as some of you poor ladies!! Then at about 1.5 years we found a mast cell tumor on his leg (extremely rare in a dog that young) and had to have it surgically removed ($1200) then regular visits with a fucking veterinary oncologist for a year until he was deemed cancer-free. Thankfully he’s been pretty issue-free since then (he’s almost 6 now) and he is simply the BEST dog on the face of the earth and our first baby and we’d do close to anything for him. But holy fuck we did not know what we were signing up for with that one, lol
    Me: 31  DH: 32
    Married: 10/3/15 
    TTC: May 2017
    BFP: 7/20/17
    EDD: 3/29/18
    kmallsftm_ohiormmorrisg_amoss
  • @scuba_chic adding that to my book list right now!!! 
    Me: 31  DH: 32
    Married: 10/3/15 
    TTC: May 2017
    BFP: 7/20/17
    EDD: 3/29/18
    scuba_chic
  • @kmalls We did see some improvement with the food change for a while and then everything flared up again. I suspect he might have a combination of food and environmental allergies. I noted some of the products you are trying and might try adding some in until we find that magical combination.
    kmalls
  • JJMNO1616 said:
    trim
    I have been looking into the laws regarding breastfeeding in the work place and it is illegal for your company to deny you a "reasonable" amount of time to pump. According to the United States Department of Labor " Employers are required to provide a reasonable amount of break time to express milk as frequently as needed by the nursing mother. The frequency of breaks needed to express milk as well as the duration of each break will likely vary." So it doesn't say what that length of time is but if you can prove medically that you need more time then legally I imagine they have to honor that. 

    https://www.dol.gov/whd/regs/compliance/whdfs73.htm
    @jjmno1616, while this is true, the caveat is that your employer does not need to pay you for the "reasonable" time needed. If you're employer only allows 15 minute paid breaks, then while they must allow you to pump for 30 minutes each session, they need only pay you for 15 minutes of that time, hence @ngolimento's comment about preferring a flex schedule where she comes in an extra 30 minutes to ensure she doesn't lose time paid (assuming two 30-min pump breaks during her normal 15-minute break times). Unfortunately, her boss doesn't have to approve or allow the flex/over-time as that is not protected by the law.

    Ironically... I'd be willing to bet dollars to donuts that on most normal days @ngolimento doesn't even use her two 15 minute breaks... Something I'm sure her employer reaps the benefits of. But heaven forbid they fork up an measly 30 minutes of pay so she can pump for a year after her baby gets here...
    I am aware that the breaks do not need to be paid unless you are using the break time you are already allotted. I have not been able to find anything about the legalities for flex time though. Would she just have to lose the pay for those 2.5hrs per week then and technically only be able to work 37.5 hours?     
    Me: 31yo DH: 38yo
    Married: 07/16/16
    TTC #1: 04/17
    BFP: 8/1/17 EDD: 4/16/18
  • JJMNO1616 said:
    JJMNO1616 said:
    trim
    I have been looking into the laws regarding breastfeeding in the work place and it is illegal for your company to deny you a "reasonable" amount of time to pump. According to the United States Department of Labor " Employers are required to provide a reasonable amount of break time to express milk as frequently as needed by the nursing mother. The frequency of breaks needed to express milk as well as the duration of each break will likely vary." So it doesn't say what that length of time is but if you can prove medically that you need more time then legally I imagine they have to honor that. 

    https://www.dol.gov/whd/regs/compliance/whdfs73.htm
    @jjmno1616, while this is true, the caveat is that your employer does not need to pay you for the "reasonable" time needed. If you're employer only allows 15 minute paid breaks, then while they must allow you to pump for 30 minutes each session, they need only pay you for 15 minutes of that time, hence @ngolimento's comment about preferring a flex schedule where she comes in an extra 30 minutes to ensure she doesn't lose time paid (assuming two 30-min pump breaks during her normal 15-minute break times). Unfortunately, her boss doesn't have to approve or allow the flex/over-time as that is not protected by the law.

    Ironically... I'd be willing to bet dollars to donuts that on most normal days @ngolimento doesn't even use her two 15 minute breaks... Something I'm sure her employer reaps the benefits of. But heaven forbid they fork up an measly 30 minutes of pay so she can pump for a year after her baby gets here...
    I am aware that the breaks do not need to be paid unless you are using the break time you are already allotted. I have not been able to find anything about the legalities for flex time though. Would she just have to lose the pay for those 2.5hrs per week then and technically only be able to work 37.5 hours?     
    As I mentioned, based on my understanding of the law, there are no guarantees of a '40 hour' paid week thus employers have discretion over what they do and don't allow for flex time. I think the vast majority of the time, employers work with the employee to get to the 40 hours of paid time... unless you've got an asshole boss that toes the line of what is legally forced upon them. Technically, 37.5 hours is still 'full-time' so the employee can't even make the claim that their position has been changed as a result of pumping accommodation discrimination (changed meaning made part-time versus full-time).

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    DD: EDD, July 18th, 2016. Born, July 19th, 2016!
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  • @ngolimento my woo woo psychic skills are kicking in ;).

    DS: EDD, December 19th, 2014. Born, December 19th, 2014!
    DD: EDD, July 18th, 2016. Born, July 19th, 2016!
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  • kmalls said:
    Holy shit (pun intended), DS just peed in the potty! I never thought this day would come. He jumped up from the couch and said “I’m going to the potty, mama!” so I followed him in there, sat him on husband little seat, and he went! Never thought this day would come  :D
    Congrats!!!  Throw a parade, that is legit parade material!
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  • I'm a teacher and today was our last day until after the holidays, but that means there were MANY sweets in the classroom and teacher's lounge today and I had no self-control.  
    ftm_ohiormmorrisg_amosshedgepig
  • Bahahaha @kmalls that cracks me up, so awesomely evil. And congrats on the potty training progress today! Christmas win! 
    Me: 31  DH: 32
    Married: 10/3/15 
    TTC: May 2017
    BFP: 7/20/17
    EDD: 3/29/18
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  • Yay! @kmalls congrats on the potty training win!!
    beach_mama
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