Weekly Randoms- 12/18

sparklingdiamond

The girl I got connected with (who is pregnant with a CDH baby) that told me about Dr. Kays was induced last night and had her baby this morning and it's giving me all the feels.  It's exactly what I will be going through in a few months and it's scary and emotional.

ekendall09

today is extra monday-y.  I'm not sure if it was the weekend festivities or actual pregnancy but I just feel like poop today.  I thought about throwing up pretty much the whole train ride into work, and all of me would have turned around if I didn't have 2 big presentations today.

ngolimento

sparklingdiamond said:

The girl I got connected with (who is pregnant with a CDH baby) that told me about Dr. Kays was induced last night and had her baby this morning and it's giving me all the feels.  It's exactly what I will be going through in a few months and it's scary and emotional.

How is she and the baby doing?  I hope they are both flourishing!

sparklingdiamond

@ngolimento She is doing okay, just super emotional obviously.  The baby went down for testing and she is waiting on an update from her husband on when they will do surgery and everything.

riversdoctor

@sparklingdiamond that sounds so exciting yet scary at the same time!  Hoping for excellent outcomes for both of your Little’s!  

As for me, I’m holding back the feels as we celebrate my dd’s 6th birthday!   Ack!  Slow down little girl!  We are taking her and her two best friends bowling tonight. 

Dumbgurl04

@sparklingdiamond I hope everything is ok with your friend's LO, I hope you receive a great outcome as well.  Don't you have your first appointment next week with your new Dr?  I hope it goes well. 

Totally agree about the case of the monday's @ekendall09 i'm just ready for the week to be over with.  

sparklingdiamond

@Dumbgurl04 Yes I have my appts starting a week from tomorrow!

ftm_ohio

@sparklingdiamond FX for your friend and her LO!

I'm feeling the Mondays as well, my DH just started a new job working 12hr nights, so we scheduled my OB appt as late as possible today so he didn't have to get up too early.

The office just called and says the dr has to leave early so now I have to go alone at 1. It's not the end if the world, but going to appts is still the only time DH really feels connected to baby so I'm just frustrated!

kaymaroo

DH committed us to go to a Christmas Eve party at his friend's house in addition to having all of his family over Christmas Day. I'm peeved because we decided to spend Christmas Eve just the two of us. He says they guilted him into it.

beach_mama

I AWed this in my ticker thread but i got the job i interviewed for! I start on jan 2nd and my future boss (a boss i previously worked for) is not upset at all that i am pregnant. She is super thrilled for us which is such a relief. 

sparklingdiamond

@beach_mama Congrats!!

ekendall09

@beach_mama that is awesome!  Congrats!

irenejean

Congratulations @beach_mama!

ladythrice

OMG @sparklingdiamond, one of my D14 mommas' SIL had her baby with Dr. Kays this morning! I wonder if it's the same family.... Our D14 facebook group is following her birth/updates with bated breath today. So far we've only heard good news for baby boy born this AM.

bchalm

Congrats @beach_mama

@sparklingdiamond I will definitely be thinking about you next week. I hope your friend gets good news. You both are clearly very strong!!

ladythrice

Congrats @Beach_mama!
@kaymaroo, bummer!

ladythrice

DS turns 3 TOMORROW!

Side note... we had his birthday party this past weekend on Saturday and I put FOUR candles on his cupcake and NO ONE CORRECTED ME. /sigh. Stupid pregnancy brain.

sparklingdiamond

@ladythrice It's probably the same girl!  Does her first name start with a B?

ngolimento

kaymaroo said:

DH committed us to go to a Christmas Eve party at his friend's house in addition to having all of his family over Christmas Day. I'm peeved because we decided to spend Christmas Eve just the two of us. He says they guilted him into it.

Oh, such a shame his pregnant wife won't feel well at the last minute!  You know how these pregnant chicks are always so delicate....

kaymaroo

ngolimento said:

kaymaroo said:

DH committed us to go to a Christmas Eve party at his friend's house in addition to having all of his family over Christmas Day. I'm peeved because we decided to spend Christmas Eve just the two of us. He says they guilted him into it.

Oh, such a shame his pregnant wife won't feel well at the last minute!  You know how these pregnant chicks are always so delicate....

Yeah I think I'm coming down with a man cold...cough...cough...

irenejean

@ladythrice @sparklingdiamond We might all be following the same mama and baby boy today! 

sparklingdiamond

irenejean said:

@ladythrice @sparklingdiamond We might all be following the same mama and baby boy today! 

I know for sure you and I are since you are the one who introduced me to her!

ladythrice

sparklingdiamond said:

irenejean said:

@ladythrice @sparklingdiamond We might all be following the same mama and baby boy today! 

I know for sure you and I are since you are the one who introduced me to her!

@sparklingdiamond and @Irenejean her name does start with a B!!! Just saw a picture of baby boy; he looks big and strong. I don't have any other updates but my friend says the family is doing better than they expected this afternoon. That good news I think, right?

psuxray07

@ladythrice growing up, we'd always have 1 extra candle on our cake for good luck...that's all it was 

ladythrice

@psuxray07 that's exactly what my mom said when I was bemoaning the fact that his 3rd birthday pictures will forever have 4 damn candles in them . I'm convinced that tradition was started because of a poor addled mother who didn't have her wits about her... 

sparklingdiamond

ladythrice said:

sparklingdiamond said:

irenejean said:

@ladythrice @sparklingdiamond We might all be following the same mama and baby boy today! 

I know for sure you and I are since you are the one who introduced me to her!

@sparklingdiamond and @Irenejean her name does start with a B!!! Just saw a picture of baby boy; he looks big and strong. I don't have any other updates but my friend says the family is doing better than they expected this afternoon. That good news I think, right?

I haven't gotten a ton of updates either, but I know she at least got to go down and see the baby finally.  That will be so hard when I have to let them take her and not be able to go with her!

irenejean

@sparklingdiamond @ladythrice It sounds like all good news so far! It sounds like they're doing a lot of tests now. I'm so glad they're with Dr. Kays!

lindsye

Well today has been a day. My 18 month old son puked all down my back and in my hair this morning and I was just now able to properly wash it - I rinsed it in the sink immediately afterwards but just now got the chance to take a shower. (Thankfully, he hasn’t thrown up again so i’m thinking/hoping that it was just a gag on what he was eating and not another stomach virus). Mom life, y’all. 

luna8433

I am tired of these hormones and so is my husband. I am so angry with him all the time and sometimes my 2 yo. This weekend I needed to clean the house before family gets here and I asked for help and I didn't get any. I also asked him to shovel the walks after our storm and he didn't. And I just yelled at him for stuffing our cupboards rather than putting things away properly, now things are falling out and breaking. 

mikkimikey

luna8433 said:

I am tired of these hormones and so is my husband. I am so angry with him all the time and sometimes my 2 yo. This weekend I needed to clean the house before family gets here and I asked for help and I didn't get any. I also asked him to shovel the walks after our storm and he didn't. And I just yelled at him for stuffing our cupboards rather than putting things away properly, now things are falling out and breaking. 

All of that would piss me off too. Pregnant or not!

psuxray07

@ladythrice haha, that's a good theory!  I just started getting the number candles and a few candles related to whatever theme the party is, lol.

Dumbgurl04

I don't know if this deserves its own thread or not but I came across this article and I thought it was great.  Its about breastfeeding and rethinking the goals that are set by WHO and AAP.  If anything it should be about supporting a mom and no matter how she wants to feed.  Exclusively BF does not work the same way for every mom and baby so being able to show support and getting rid of the shaming will go along way.  Plus I feel this article might help any FTM (maybe even a few STM+) that even though you have this hard set plan to BF for the first 6 months it might not happen the way you want and it's ok if you have to supplement or even switch completely over to formula.  I know it's easier said then done to not have mom guilt especially over how you feed your child, but hopefully knowing that there are some of us that will support you no matter what will help ease the guilt a little. 

https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/case-rethinking-breastfeeding-goals-163726732.html

ngolimento

@Dumbgurl04 that is a really great artocle, thank you for posting it!  I myself will have to file a medical request with HR to be allowed enough time to pump at work (they think 15 minutes is totes enough time to pump).  If my next baby triggers overproduction again, I have an evil witch of a boss who won't let me work overtime to make up for half hour pump breaks (literally I have it down to a science that I only need a half hour more in the day, which is easy to offset by coming in early.  But she is evil incarnate).

whatabout2ndbreakfast

@lindsye ugh that was us yesterday...woke up DS and found him in a puddle of his own throw up. Let's just say he really needs a haircut.

Dumbgurl04

@ngolimento uh that is awful. Part of me would want to be a smart ass and pump at my desk and still work but i'm sure that would cause more trouble.  I know my work just came out with a new policy to help new moms and you have to fill out a form so your boss knows that they have to supply a room for you to pump that isn't a bathroom.  My boss sent it to me as just an FYI and I told him I won't need it cause I formula feed.  It's nice to see though that places are tying to accommodate more. 

ekendall09

@ngolimento having to time your pump sessions or ask for that time to pump is crazy to me!  

kmalls

@Dumbgurl04 great article, thanks for passing it along. I’d love for that to be its own thread, I feel like a lot of people don’t bother checking spam and that’s a really important topic to have some open dialogue about. Would you mind starting it? 

ladythrice

@Dumbgurl04 I like the article you shared and while I don't necessarily wholly agree with the premise (changing WHO and AAP guidelines) I love all the facts and figures it shares and I like that it encourages changing our thought process from 'exclusive' breastfeeding to including 'any' breastfeeding when discussing feeding generally. However, I 1000000% agree with this statement and think it hits the nail on the head: "The real problem, says Stuebe, is not the core recommendation that all women should exclusively breastfeed for the first six months; it is how that recommendation is communicated to mothers and what is done to actually support them."

It is always so interesting how those on the opposite sides of the spectrum feel judged for their choice. This article exclusively highlights the judgement and shame moms feel if they aren't 'successful' at exclusive breastfeeding. Yet, as the article points out, the numbers of women that don't breastfeed (at all or exclusively) far outnumber the women that do, exceedingly so in the US.

To present an alternative perspective, as someone who did supplement with one child and exclusively fed another, I can tell you the 'shame' I felt from formula feeding my first was self-induced disappointment for not meeting a personal goal, not societal pressure. I was cocooned in doctors, family, and even LCs telling me it was okay to supplement and that I could stop breastfeeding at anytime. They told me babies don't 'need' breastmilk and I didn't need to beat myself up over it. I was even told that I was causing more problems for my child by trying to continue to keep breastfeeding (while supplementing... so weird) by some on-call pediatrician. This was the breastfeeding support I received from the 'institution' with my first. It took my own research, my family, and joining online support groups to get the information I needed because institutionally the answer was, "This is hard for you, just formula feed...Oh you want to breastfeed? Well, you HAVE to formula feed so get over it."

Anecdotally, I've had my own share of societal induced shaming for choosing to breastfeed. I've been sniggered at for breastfeeding and asked to move elsewhere. I've been asked to use the bathroom to pump and I've been asked countless times when I'm going to stop letting my kids suck on my 'teet.'

I know there are fervent breastfeeding advocates out there that can make moms feel like shit. I know they exist and it pains me because I'm a huge advocate and would love to help moms feel comfortable no matter their choice. I just think it's important to remember that moms on both sides of the issue feel pressure and that right now, statistically, society is more supportive of formula feeding than it is of breastfeeding. Anecdotal stories and experiences aside, we as a society, do not value breastfeeding or supporting mothers that breastfeed. As a result, It's a damn shame, and wholly ironic, that mothers that chose to formula feed also catch shit from certain corners.

ngolimento

ekendall09 said:

@ngolimento having to time your pump sessions or ask for that time to pump is crazy to me!  

I don't mind having to time them so much, because I have seen employees happily abuse breaks really badly if they aren't monitored.  What I resent is that I have to walk across the building to get the key to the room, then walk back again, which burns at least 5 of my 15 minutes.  I can't pump fully in 10 minutes since I can have a let down that produces up to 24 oz in one sitting.  That isnt happening in 10 minutes.  So if I extend each of my 15 minute breaks by 15 minutes,  that is only a half hour extra I need in the day.  Let me come in half an hour early, and tada, it costs the company zero to accomodate me.

My last boss was completely understanding, and it was no big deal.  However, the lady above my current boss is a complete waste of carbon, and I know from past history with her being abusive she will fuck with me (I had to file a state lawsuit against her 5 years ago).

So yeah, I have to talk to HR about my tits.  Super excited  to tackle that.

ladythrice

ngolimento said:

ekendall09 said:

@ngolimento having to time your pump sessions or ask for that time to pump is crazy to me!  

I don't mind having to time them so much, because I have seen employees happily abuse breaks really badly if they aren't monitored.  What I resent is that I have to walk across the building to get the key to the room, then walk back again, which burns at least 5 of my 15 minutes.  I can't pump fully in 10 minutes since I can have a let down that produces up to 24 oz in one sitting.  That isnt happening in 10 minutes.  So if I extend each of my 15 minute breaks by 15 minutes,  that is only a half hour extra I need in the day.  Let me come in half an hour early, and tada, it costs the company zero to accomodate me.

My last boss was completely understanding, and it was no big deal.  However, the lady above my current boss is a complete waste of carbon, and I know from past history with her being abusive she will fuck with me (I had to file a state lawsuit against her 5 years ago).

So yeah, I have to talk to HR about my tits.  Super excited  to tackle that.

Everything about this sucks so much...

sparklingdiamond

@ladythrice I totally agree that there is an overall lack of support for moms who want to breastfeed and also a lack of support for those that formula feed.  I breastfed my son until he weaned himself around 13-14 months.  Mine was also more of a personal goal because it was something I wanted to do.  I wanted to make it to a year.  I was lucky that my son's pediatrician was super supportive (he was always on the lower end percentile wise).  She never pressured me to add formula, but offered it as a choice.  I got a lot of crap for having to pump at work though (I worked at the time with just two men...now there are at least a couple of other women here but they have grown children).  Because apparently I took "half a day" to pump and "why are you still going shouldn't you have stopped already?"  I really think it all stems from there is just a lack of empathy and support for moms in general, especially working moms.  Moms aren't really valued like they are in some other countries.