Update: Thanksgiving was so crowded no one realized I wasnt drinking.
Also, the bad taste in my mouth is driving me INSANE!
Andplus, DH just left to go hunting for 5 days. I'm annoyed, moreso at the fact that my mornings are totally effed on Monday amd Tuesday.
@SmashJam I'm sorry you overheard thay from your MIL. It affects everyone where there is a loss, but no one more than the person that had to go thru it.
@SmashJam I'm sorry you had to hear that too but ultimately she probably blurted it out not even knowing what she was thinking or how it would make people feel.
@christycalifornia major points scored there! DH did all the dishes after Thanksgiving while I napped. Lord knows we need those, right?
On another note, my sore throat is now in full swing, had a rough night feeling ok aside from that so I'm just going to lay low and declutter my closet
Guys i feel liken shouldn't have told people today. I overheard my MIL telling my dad that **TW she hopes this pregnancy has a better ending because she can't handle losing another grandchild END TW** it wasnt in those exacr words but that was the gist. Niw im like, uh, i already hoped this pregnancy would go better than the last but now I REALLY do so she doesn't lose her mind. Maybe it was to big a burden to put on people this early, but...too late now!
Hope everyone else's turkey day was glorious! In an upside...my turkey was boss and my SIL made cranberry sauce with real cranberries that somehow tasted exactly like the can.
This makes me angry and sad. I agree that it's a selfish response from your MIL and would expect a more supportive one. I'm sure it's hard on other family members to go through a loss, but couples shouldn't have to go through that alone either. Try not to let that comment stress you out though. We're rooting for you and a healthy baby!
@WorkinWeezel@kissableviv@AlyLynn07 thanks so much for the support! I know it wasn't meant to overhear and didn't come from a bad place, it's just weird to be reminded that others had the pain too.
@WorkinWeezel I'm flying solo this week too! Hubs is at a conference.
Guys i feel liken shouldn't have told people today. I overheard my MIL telling my dad that **TW she hopes this pregnancy has a better ending because she can't handle losing another grandchild END TW** it wasnt in those exacr words but that was the gist. Niw im like, uh, i already hoped this pregnancy would go better than the last but now I REALLY do so she doesn't lose her mind. Maybe it was to big a burden to put on people this early, but...too late now!
Hope everyone else's turkey day was glorious! In an upside...my turkey was boss and my SIL made cranberry sauce with real cranberries that somehow tasted exactly like the can.
This makes me angry and sad. I agree that it's a selfish response from your MIL and would expect a more supportive one. I'm sure it's hard on other family members to go through a loss, but couples shouldn't have to go through that alone either. Try not to let that comment stress you out though. We're rooting for you and a healthy baby!
I’m in this same boat, and I honestly (it might sound bad) would like to hear my MIL say something like this. My MIL hides how she’s feeling so it’s came across like it didn’t affect her when our babies passed and that hurt. Even though I knew she was sad.
Smashjams MIL showed she cared for her grand baby and to me that’s sweet. I’m sorry that what was said hurt some feelings, but I don’t think you should take offense or think she wouldn’t want to handle knowing you are expecting again.
We have two sleeping beauties in heaven. Jack gained his wings on 09/02/2016. Kali gained her wings on 07/28/2015. They will be forever missed.
@bdesterhouse that is a great point. I think it honestly took me by surprise that she said it; I knew people would see this as a big deal for US, but I didn't think of the feelings others would have surrounding me getting pregnant again, and how they might be just as anxious/more anxious than I am because I don't know how much peace they have made with everything.
That being said, @bdesterhouse, I am sorry your MIL was not capable of showing her emotions after your babies passed. Obviously it was already hard enough on you, I can imagine her lack of emotion making it even more difficult for you to sort through your own ( I know i did a lot of "grief comparison"). Hugs to you lady. You are so strong.
This is going to sound like a thankless post, but this was a really big weekend to us. We were taking the kiddos on vacation, tons of Christmas-themed surprises. My SO's little girl is three days older than my son, so they enjoy most of the same things, and they absolutely adore each other. The whole week she was hell on wheels. She's always been prone to ridiculous tantrums and destructive tantrums, but for the last 6 months she's been worlds better. This weeks she had about 18 outburst, one where she destroyed the hotel, and another in the middle of a Christmas exhibit where she started screaming STOP HURTING ME DADDY (he hadn't even touched her) over and over and over. It was seriously the worst vacation I've been on, and it has me dreading what she's going to be like when the baby comes between her raging, never listening, and always wanted 100% eyes on her.
@kat029 sad sounds hard. I would work really hard on understanding what is she needing and trying to communicate. It can be easy to start to resent a child who acts out but imagine life from her point of view. it can help sometimes
@kat029 I’m sorry you had to deal with that. It sounds awful. Has anything changed in her life lately to possible trigger this? Can she potentially sense changes since you all found out you were pregnant? Kids are so perceptive.
Guys i feel liken shouldn't have told people today. I overheard my MIL telling my dad that **TW she hopes this pregnancy has a better ending because she can't handle losing another grandchild END TW** it wasnt in those exacr words but that was the gist. Niw im like, uh, i already hoped this pregnancy would go better than the last but now I REALLY do so she doesn't lose her mind. Maybe it was to big a burden to put on people this early, but...too late now!
Hope everyone else's turkey day was glorious! In an upside...my turkey was boss and my SIL made cranberry sauce with real cranberries that somehow tasted exactly like the can.
This makes me angry and sad. I agree that it's a selfish response from your MIL and would expect a more supportive one. I'm sure it's hard on other family members to go through a loss, but couples shouldn't have to go through that alone either. Try not to let that comment stress you out though. We're rooting for you and a healthy baby!
I’m in this same boat, and I honestly (it might sound bad) would like to hear my MIL say something like this. My MIL hides how she’s feeling so it’s came across like it didn’t affect her when our babies passed and that hurt. Even though I knew she was sad.
Smashjams MIL showed she cared for her grand baby and to me that’s sweet. I’m sorry that what was said hurt some feelings, but I don’t think you should take offense or think she wouldn’t want to handle knowing you are expecting again.
I hadn't thought of it that way. That's a good point. I hope your MIL is able to open up to you more during this pregnancy.
@ashbub714 She doesn't know we're pregnant yet (afraid the kiddos would tell everyone, they don't know better right now). As for a major change, she was kicked out of her Nanny's daycare about three weeks ago. I don't think the new one is as receptive to her needs, but her mom refuses to acknowledge that the change in day care is the reason for her acting out. Her mom also recently moved in with her new SO, and all the change could have triggered it. I just don't know, and I'm so worried about her going back into her old ways (imagine a two year old putting holes in the wall type tantrums and she's only gotten stronger this last year).
@kat029 oh wow that is a lot of change for a child. I hope things get better for you all soon. I know it’s hard co-parenting. It sounds like you and her father do the best you can and attempt to make up for any ways her mother may be lacking. You’re in my thoughts!
Re: Thanksgiving Week Randoms 11/20-24
Also, the bad taste in my mouth is driving me INSANE!
Andplus, DH just left to go hunting for 5 days. I'm annoyed, moreso at the fact that my mornings are totally effed on Monday amd Tuesday.
@SmashJam I'm sorry you overheard thay from your MIL. It affects everyone where there is a loss, but no one more than the person that had to go thru it.
Married: 6/27/2008
DS: 3/14/2010 Planned, PG first try
M/C 6/2012
DD: 4/22/2013 Planned, UnDx Infertility, PG on our own
BFP: 10/28/2016 Unplanned, HUGE SURPRISE!
M/C 12/12/2016
BFP: 10/27/2017 Unplanned, HUGE SURPRISE
EDD: 7/2/2018
@christycalifornia major points scored there! DH did all the dishes after Thanksgiving while I napped. Lord knows we need those, right?
On another note, my sore throat is now in full swing, had a rough night
@WorkinWeezel I'm flying solo this week too! Hubs is at a conference.
Smashjams MIL showed she cared for her grand baby and to me that’s sweet. I’m sorry that what was said hurt some feelings, but I don’t think you should take offense or think she wouldn’t want to handle knowing you are expecting again.
Jack gained his wings on 09/02/2016.
Kali gained her wings on 07/28/2015.
They will be forever missed.
That being said, @bdesterhouse, I am sorry your MIL was not capable of showing her emotions after your babies passed. Obviously it was already hard enough on you, I can imagine her lack of emotion making it even more difficult for you to sort through your own ( I know i did a lot of "grief comparison"). Hugs to you lady. You are so strong.
ridiculous tantrums and destructive tantrums, but for the last 6 months she's been worlds better. This weeks she had about 18 outburst, one where she destroyed the hotel, and another in the middle of a Christmas exhibit where she started screaming STOP HURTING ME DADDY (he hadn't even touched her) over and over and over. It was seriously the worst vacation I've been on, and it has me dreading what she's going to be like when the baby comes between her raging, never listening, and always wanted 100% eyes on her.