FTM questions for STM+ 9/19

abcola

I have a bit of a topic change here... What are everyone's thoughts on diaper bags?! I am leaning towards a backpack, but was wondering how often you felt like you needed something right on hand that taking off the pack would be super annoying vs. having the ease of carrying on your back... 
Thanks!! 

flowerpower5838

@abcola +1 for backpack. Especially if you're planning on having more. Some people love them, but I had the Skip Hop Duo and I hated it. I'm using just a plain old Jansport backpack currently, but I do plan to invest in someone a little nicer soon.

ETA: I will say with DS there was a period of a few months (when I started feeling more confident in my parenting skills and he stopped spitting up so damn much) when I just kept diapers and wipes in my purse and left the diaper bag in the car or at home. This was pre-needing snacks 24/7 and wanting to take toys with him, etc. 

mdcd44127

@anewadventure Yes!! One my first purchases for this baby was 2 big boxes of Pampers (Amazon flash sale) and I ended up having the put the (still-sealed!) boxes in the far corner of the house because I could smell that "Pampers smell" from the livingroom. I remember that scent from babysitting my cousins and I know I'll re-adjust to it, but boy is it strong!

elcd458

@abcola We did backpack style also.  Not sure how it will work out (FTM!) but one of my motivations was so that DH wouldn't feel awkward using it.  Some of the SkipHop bags, etc. are such giant cutesy purse looking things that I could picture him trying to get away with not using a diaper bag whenever he had LO and it just ending all kinds of bad! 

blueskies17

@abcola I'm a FTM and got a diaper backpack! I want something hands-free when babywearing. Also like @elcd458 I wanted something that DH would be comfortable with using as well. I splurged and ordered one from twelvelittle during a labor day sale. 

babybison

Is it bad I registered for two diaper bags? I picked one for me and let DH pick his own. He liked the backpack style and wanted the HapTim below. They're both coming as gifts, but I probably wouldn't have bought both with my own money. 

https://www.amazon.com/Multi-function-Backpack-Insulated-Waterproof-Gray-5279/dp/B01M9E9UNV/ref=sr_1_2_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1507215174&sr=8-2&keywords=hap+tim&th=1

whiska

FTM but I registered for this one:
https://www.target.com/p/diaper-dude-stroller-caddy-black-textured/-/A-51636900?

I wanted something unisex, and I've carried H's messenger bags before so I would have no problem sporting this one.  If at some point I don't like or find it works better if we're definitely going out as a family or I'm taking the stroller, I'll get a black purse-style diaper bag to carry around myself.  

ETA - Ok so I really liked the two suggestions above me so I sent H some new options to consider against this one!

elev2017

@babybison we're doing two diaper bags too. My sister is getting me mine, which is backpack style (I think), and we put DH's on the registry; his looks more like a messenger bag. I originally wanted a super floral print, so I told DH to just pick his own so then we could both have what we wanted. I'm now getting one that's a little more subdued, but it's still coral colored. With twins, I figured it certainly wouldn't hurt for us to have two bags on hand. We also plan to keep a diaper tote stashed in our cars with all the essentials.

Marley629

@abcola first time around, I used the typical diaper bag and we prob have one to send with LO to daycare when it's that time. But this time, i got a diaper bag backpack - I figured it would free my hands a bit more and be more practical with DS1 and carrying LO.  It's also big enough where I can put extra clothes in for DS1 and snacks and things too. 

babytimeagain

I bought this diaper bag (tote style) and really like it. I figured it's gender neutral enough that DH shouldn't mind carrying it around on occasion, and I like that the color is neutral enough to go with whatever I'm wearing. I tested it out as my carry-on bag on a recent trip, and I was impressed by how much it carried. I figure I can always buy a cheapie backpack down the line if I need to, but I'm not really a backpack wearing kind of girl.

elcd458

I'm also ordering a tote for my pump, so I figure that will become a pseudo-diaper bag at times for me when DH and I are separated/LO is at daycare/etc.

skc040512

@abcola STM here, and I had a backpack style bag that also had an over the shoulder strap that I loved. I got one of the higher-quality ones for DD, and am planning on using it again for this LO. This is the one I got -
https://www.amazon.com/Ju-Ju-Be-Legacy-Collection-B-F-F-Convertible/dp/B00I0P7VYK/ref=sr_1_1_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1507222315&sr=8-1&keywords=juju+be+diaper+bag&th=1

As for the diaper smell conversation, I have to say the "Pampers smell" - while noticeable - doesn't bother me. Luvs, on the other hand, I can't stand. You can smell them from anywhere in the house. If you're looking for a good low-to-no scent diaper, I'd suggest Up & Up from Target. I feel like they keep the pee smell in without making your kid smell like baby powder. 

splsmama2016

I have a petunia picklebottom boxy bag. It can be a packback or over the shoulder. So it's been convenient to have in both set ups. DH has a DiaperDude messenger bag that rarely gets used (because lets face it, he just doesn't take her anywhere on his own *insert eyeroll*) but he likes it when I force him to take his bag lol. 

The scents of pampers dont bother me either. Luvs though, yeah. No thanks. Also babyganics had a weird smell once she would pee, so I was kind of glad those didn't work out for us. 

darkfyre

@anewadventure I have totally been having "This was too big?!" moments lately as I go through DS's baby stuff. He came home at 4lb 10oz and even the preemie socks fell off. Now he is a kindergartener! Yikes.
Also I do hate the smell of Pampers. And quite a few other brands. One of my top 5 reasons to clothe diaper. 

@abcola we have a regular messenger bag and a regular Columbia backpack we use depending on venue. The backpack is way convenient especially solo. The messenger bag looks nicer.

failuretofly

I LOVE THE SMELL OF PAMPERS. It is the definition of baby in my mind, especially Swaddlers. 

We also have a messenger bag style diaper bag. It does the trick and I wear it cross body so I can flip it out of the way. 

elcd458

@failuretofly I love diaper smell too. 

babybison

I think they bottle that diaper smell and pump it into buybuyBaby. It's all up in my nostrils from the minute I walk in, and diapers are way in the back!

kaylawing

@anewadventure I hate the smell of Pampers. I was actually thinking about making my UO today that I can’t stand pampers even though they seem to be so popular. The smell bothered me every time I went into the nursery. As for diaper bags, I have a Vera Bradley. I have never purchased Vera Bradley anything before this bag, but I love it. It’s held up to daily use very well and I think it will be big enough for use with toddler+baby. https://www.verabradley.com/us/product/Large-Stroll-Around-Baby-Bag/Painted-Medallions/15665-15665H92 (This is a different pattern/fabric, but same bag)

ngarciabyu

As for diapers I am team up&up diapers. They are hypoallergenic and are dye and fragrance free. I had no fitting or leaking issue with my first two kids, and the price really can't be beat. So that's what I'm stock piling on.

@abcola I had petunia pickle bottom bags for both my boys and loved them. Although over the past 6 years I'm personally a little worn out on the style and just got my new one in the mail today! It's a backpack from a brand called Itzy Ritzy. The quality seems amazing, even in comparison to the PPB bags I had prior, and super functional. I ordered mine off buy buy baby with a 20% off coupon. 

Eta: link 
https://m.buybuybaby.com/m/product/itzy-ritzy-reg-backpack-diaper-bag-backpack-in-brown-cream/1061173057?Keyword=itzy ritzy

babytimeagain

@ngarciabyu What a cute bag! I really like that one and it'll go with anything. Good choice!

katiegeminimoon

@kaylawing I bought that same bag in a very girly pattern before I even knew what I was having, haha. I’m glad to hear that you like it, I was beginning to worry it was too huge and not a good choice! 

txmomma16

Thank you all for the suggestions. I was going to get a cute diaper bag and didn't even think of when H has to take it. I've completely changed my thought process on this now. I was reading this earlier while sitting in my OBs waiting room and saw an awesome teal and gray backpack that wouldn't have been perfect. I'm kicking myself now that I didn't ask the mom what kind it was. 

Live and learn. 

kaylawing

@ktcakes87 I do like it. It’s held up very well and is easy to clean. I also got some little travel pouches to store thing inside in a more organized way. I do sometimes wish I had a backpack, but I mainly find that attach it to the stroller anyway. 

cait5413

@abcola I have a jj Cole  bag you can use as a messenger bag or a backpack and I've liked it.

I can't say I really notice a pampers smell, certainly not while they're still in the boxes. I guess my nose isn't very sensitive. 

Marley629

Did anyone else go and smell a box of pampers today? Lol. I never noticed it until this thread. - My UO I guess is like I like the smell of them! 

jlemons-2

I love the smell of Pampers. My DD wears Higgins and sometimes they get this strong chemical smell. I hate that. 

elev2017

I got the results back via my Quest portal for my glucose and blood tests. I scored 108 for the glucose and the cutoff was 135, so looks like I should be good (still need to get confirmation from my doctor). But I do have a question... My OB told me to make sure they give me the 50 mg, rather than the 100 mg, because sometimes they give people the wrong kind. I totally forgot to check. If it had been 100 mg though, that just would have made my blood sugar be higher right? So either way I should be good? The stuff they gave me was definitely sweet like kool-aid, but not sickeningly sweet, so that also leads me to believe it was the 50 mg.

beary67

@leilagphillips you should be good!  The cut-off is higher when given the 100mg drink, so either way, you are good!  

elev2017

@beary67 Thanks!

Amber_Waves

Does anyone have any polite strategies for NOT answering questions about their kids in front of their kids?  

One of my best friends constantly talks about her kids in front of her kids, for example: "Penny is really struggling in 3rd grade!"  It has always caught my attention because my parents would never have done it.  Obviously, it's easy for me to just not start up stories, but what I've noticed lately as I get ready to be a parent, is how often parents are asked or expected to talk about their kids in front of their kids and are asked direct questions in front of them: "is Phoebe a good sleeper? Is she potty trained yet? Does she like kindergarten?" Etc etc. any tips on gracefully side-stepping these questions? It seems to be generally expected and it's my strong personal preference is to avoid it. 

whiska

@Amber_Waves Oy that's a good question I had never thought about, and totally agree with you.  I feel like my instinct is to rope the child in to the conversation so that it makes it clear to the person asking that I'm not going to treat my child like s/he's not there.  "What would you say, Phoebe? Have you been sleeping okay?  Do you like your teacher?"  Also it's good for kids to practice conversation skills with adults.

If two parents want to have a heart-to-heart about ways in which their kids are struggling or how the family's dealing, I'm supportive of that but out of the kids' earshot.  

elcd458

Sooooo I found out today that my MIL got us our travel system (stroller/carseat) but wants to give it to us as a Christmas gift. LO is due right at Christmas.  When should I tell her is the absolute latest we need it by?  I know the stroller is less urgent, assuming they are boxed separately, but I'd like us to learn to handle the carseat and have it inspected well in advance.  Is there a good "deadline" I should give her?  The Christmas gift aspect seems irrelevant since we will likely be in the hospital anyway, but that kind of thing is important to her and I don't want to be rude.

Amber_Waves

@elcd458. Well, when are you planning on installing the seat & are you having the installation inspected? Your MIL may not be aware that these are generally done weeks in advance. 

whiska

@elcd458 I agree with @Amber_Waves - she may not realize that you need that lead time, and babies come early all the time.  Could your H talk to her?  Maybe she could wrap it up in Christmas paper and you guys could open it at her house in front of the tree around the 15th?  That way it all unfolds how she pictured but you're not stressed about not having the carseat in time.

elcd458

@Amber_Waves  We definitely want to get it inspected.  Didn't know if there was a timeframe in advance that most folks recommend getting that done or if it mattered.  I probably will have DH talk to her although he's not always good about that sort of thing... we will see!

MJDsquared

@elcd458 From STMs on this board I think 36 weeks is the popular time to have the car seat ready to go by. But since your MIL might not be too stoked about giving the gift a full month before Christmas, maybe like two weeks prior to due date she'd be okay with?

clovelyone

@elcd458 Maybe she could wrap the empty boxes do they'll still be under the tree and you could still unwrap it at some point. 

elcd458

@clovelyone I think our compromise is going to be asking for the car seat ASAP and letting the stroller be the Christmas gift.  I realize it seems ridiculous (especially with the element of surprise gone) but she can't stand the thought of someone not having a gift to open and I imagine it maxed out her gift budget for us.  I told DH to remind her we are likely to be too preoccupied at Christmas to notice.
I'm also wondering if it did occur to her (a little too late) that we'd need it sooner and that's why she called DH and ruined the surprise.  

Piccola1988

STMs, is there anything specific you would want to be gifted for a second baby?  My SIL is expecting her second next month and I want to send them something they'll need.  She's not registered and I've asked if she needs anything with no luck.  For background, her first is a girl who is nearly 4, and this baby is a boy (but I'm not trying to dump a bunch of blue crap and clothes on them...).

babymakes9

Piccola1988 said:

STMs, is there anything specific you would want to be gifted for a second baby?  My SIL is expecting her second next month and I want to send them something they'll need.  She's not registered and I've asked if she needs anything with no luck.  For background, her first is a girl who is nearly 4, and this baby is a boy (but I'm not trying to dump a bunch of blue crap and clothes on them...).

Food.  Easy too heat up precooked meals.  Newborn things that may have been lost, given away,  thrown out.  And in usually not a fan on gift cards,  but this may be the exception to the rule.  Gift cards for bru, bbb,amazon, or local take out places.