IF Testing &Treatment: week of September 4th

lulu1180

@JuneRoseRuby I'm so sorry that things didn't work out the way that you had hoped but I am happy that you are feeling better about the plan forward.  I hope the IUI works and you don't need to use those two embies for a long while!  So many hugs friend!

[Deleted User]

@madspunk. So glad those follis seem to be coming along nicely!!!

@Aurora1973 omg that cat gif.  I just died ❤

You guys, I am getting choked up all over again.
<img src="https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/2r/wdd9qsj5rqy6.gif" alt="">
Just scrolling up and seeing the lovetits coming out of the woodwork!  I love you guys so stinkin' much.  I can't even believe, looking back on how far we've come since early ttgp days...  who knew our journey would turn out like this.  It's unreal.  And it's incredible how much seeing someone's teeny tiny thumbnail on the screen can mean so much!
<img src="https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/bk/dlna0d5udvja.gif" alt="">

[Deleted User]

@LeilaK9288. Today's the day!!!!  GL!!!  We'll be anxiously awaiting an update - fx for good news!
<img src="https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/p8/j1euwu6rzfms.gif" alt="">

KariAnn323

After lots of talking (and crying) with DH we've decided to take a break from TTC and work on our weight and mental health. I don't know if I'll go back to the same RE when we're ready or seek a different opinion. I suppose we'll make that decision when the time comes. I'm going to take a Bump break as well, though I'll be lurking hard. All of my fingers and toes are crossed so hard that by the time I come back all of you will be on BMBs. I love you guys, and I don't know how I would have gotten through the past 12 months without you. 

JuneRoseRuby

@LeilaK9288 GL to YH today!!! Drive safely!! 

ETA

@safire3 hope your retrieval went well yesterday! Waiting for an update!!!! Hope you're feeling well and got some good naps in yesterday

[Deleted User]

@KariAnn323 oh dear. (((Hugs)))  please take all the time you need to feel better about things moving forward.  Don't be a stranger!!!! ❤❤❤

@JuneRoseRuby lol I remember the surgeon specifically told me not to speed hahha. Like okay, okay, don't speed.  You'll get them there just fine, but not if you crash... @LeilaK9288
<<edited to remove pic>>

@safire3. Ah!  Can't wait for that fert report!!! ❤

lulu1180

@KariAnn323 I completely understand what you are going through and what you are most likely feeling right now.  If you need someone to talk to, please feel free to reach out to me, I'm here to chat any time!  And I applaud you for recognizing when you need to take a break as it's not easy.  Take care of yourself friend and remember we are all here for you if you need anything during your break!

shortstack930

@JuneRoseRuby I'm glad you guys have a plan going forward! I hope that the IUIs will work!

@safire3 good luck today!!

@KariAnn323 I'm sorry you're going through a rough time. Sometimes a break to take care of yourself is the right step. We are always here when you're ready to come back and I'm always here if you need to PM. 

RVAmom315

@KariAnn323 We completely understand that you need to do what you need to in order to take care of yourself. We will miss you, and will be waiting (wherever we will be) for you when you come back

safire3

Hey guys I've been MIA a bit because on top of everything else I am in south Florida and we are preparing for a major hurricane over the weekend. My retrieval went well. We were only expecting a max of 7 eggs and we got six. I just got the call that of the 6 all 6 were mature and 5 fertilized. However because of the storm and them possibly not being able to access the building over the next few days, all the embryos were frozen on day 1. They initially told us day 2 but apparently they froze all today. I'm super nervous because I've never heard of this being done before but there's nothing I can do about it. We will go discuss our frozen transfer with the RE after the storm and once AF starts.

@JuneRoseRuby I'm so sorry you didn't get and of YH's to freeze but your plan makes a lot of sense, especially financially. Just love on your H today because I can't imagine how hard it is for him to have to face not being able to have a bio kid.

@LeilaK9288 GL today! FX for lots of healthy swimmers!

[Deleted User]

Omg @safire3 all 6 mature and 5 fertilized is great!!!  Stay safe and try not to worry about those embies till after the storm passes. ❤ what a story to be able to tell your kiddoes later!

leekat14

@safire3 yay!!!! That's great news about your embryos, don't stress about them! Thinking of you! Be safe!!!

JuneRoseRuby

@KariAnn323 take care of yourself! We will miss you and be here when you need us! 

@safire3 I'm sure it is okay.  I tried to explain it to my mom that it is just cells that freeze and unfreeze, like algae freezing over the pond and then unthawing in the spring and coming back to life.  Ha I have no idea if that is true but it made me feel like freezing babies was a natural thing! Congrats on all 5!! that is amazing! 

adirat

@safire3 Those are great fertilization numbers! I agree with @juneroseruby -- the freeze and unfreeze isn't a huge deal apparently (I know, it shocked me too when I first read about it) so I think this is going to be great for you! I'm so happy for you because I know how worried you were about your response given AMH. 

Please stay safe in this hurricane though! Thinking of you.

TravelingCouple

@BusinessWife I'm just so stinking excited for you. I know this has been one hell of a journey for you with a lot of waiting, waiting and more waiting...I'm so excited that your transfer is coming up so super close!

@KariAnn323 I completely understand and girl I'm here if you need anything. Sending you all the love

@safire3 YAY for your retrieval!! Thinking of you in FL

AFM my body is giving me one big MF this month and I'm kind of regretting having not a first clue what's going on. I don't even know if I've ovulated yet. More than likely AF is on her way.

Aside from all of that, I called several more adoption agencies today and we have our first meeting set up this coming Wed with the agency where we went to the informational meeting back in July. I also signed up for a Webinar with another agency that's in Oct, and left a VM with a third that has great reviews. I'm hoping within the next month we can narrow down which one we want to move forward with and get our home study scheduled. That would be the first major step is saying ok, we're doing this because a Home Study is $1500-2000 nonrefundable. 

madspunk

@JuneRoseRuby GL with the IUI! All the IF stories are so different - I haven't heard of doing IVF, then doing IUI, but in your case, it makes total sense! I hope the IUI does the trick and you can save those embies for future children, if needed.

@KariAnn323 Hugs, girl. The choice to take a break from TTC is hard, but it sounds like you know where you want to focus your energy so that when it is time for you to become a mom, you'll be in the best place possible. We'll all see you when you get back - but feel free to reach out any time. 

@safire3 5 fertilized out of 7 max you were expecting is great! That is crazy that the hurricane has changed your plans a bit, but now the embies are frozen and stay. Stay safe yourself too!

@TravelingCouple You've made some huge strides forward in the adoption avenue. GL in picking the agency. Let us know if you have any questions you need help puzzling through. Though I have no experience with adoption, I'm all ears and opinions. :-)

leekat14

@madspunk Good luck at your check today.  I didn't know they did Saturday appointments! 

@JuneRoseRuby What a great and crazy plan.  Nice to know you have those embabies when you are ready for them.

@adirat I wish you were stimming with me. It's definitely a lonely venture and I'm just not ready for the IF board (because obviously it's not real until I'm on the IF board)

@tamalahoops and @TravelingCouple This is going to be a dumb question but how do you start finding agencies? Recommendations from others? Google?  Are these agencies for kids in the u.s or out? I live in such a remote spot that I feel like adoption would be so difficult. 

adirat

@leekat14 I wish I were, too So much waiting. I starting reading and dipping my toes into the September IVF thread on the IF board, if you're interested. But I would much rather be here with friends like you How are you doing today?

leekat14

@adirat I'm a little bummed that the higher doses and added HGH only has 4 follicles right now.  I know there could be more Monday but it's not likely with my low AMH.  It's been basically raining since last weekend so as much as I've tried to lift my spirits it's just not working.  I'm really hoping they push the retrieval to next Monday so I can enjoy our Boston trip.  Otherwise everything will get messed up, even though we would still go we would leave right from my egg retrieval.  

adirat

I'm so sorry you've been so down friend I hope you can get the timing to line up to have a nice trip to Boston, too. You deserve a break to just have fun and not be mired in this. Do you have any fun weekend plans for today/tomorrow?

tamalahoops

@leekat14 I am just dipping toes in the adoption pool right now, but we are having a hard time finding an agency that will work for us. We live in a large metro area and its still really hard. We have a list of requirements that not every agency can meet. Our requirements include but are not limited to: no price difference based on the race of the baby, real support and no pressure for expectant moms, no discrimination against lgbt families, and non-denominational. This is apparently a tall order for the bible belt!  We are also hoping to have an open adoption and are hesitant to work with an agency that doesn't push for openness. And then the last thing that is seeming like it is a true unicorn of a request is we would like to be in a limited space program. We have only found one agency that only takes a certain amount of adoptive parents based on how many babies were placed in previous years. The larger nationwide agencies have hundreds more families waiting than they have placements and that I think can lead to some unethical tactics. 

That turned into a novel for a very simple question. Writing it made me realize I have a bit more of a toe in this pool. 

adirat

@tamalahoops I really admire you guys and the criteria you set out. The world of adoption has plenty of unethical dealers and I am so impressed by you guys being so ethical at such a difficult time. I have so much hope for a beautiful outcome and family for you

tamalahoops

@adirat you are the absolute best.  

leekat14

@tamalahoops Thank you for all of that.  Gosh I have a lot to learn.  That's a lot of great information that I wouldn't have even thought about, makes me think I should have started this process years ago. 

@adirat Nothing fun, it's a gloomy day so I should use it to clean because I think tomorrow I might actually see the sun! There's a Ironman race so I might go to a local pub to hang out for the Ironman party.  And I have some work to do that I'd like to avoid  

tamalahoops

@leekat14 its definitely overwhelming! My mom is adopted and my husband's dad is adopted so we've been considering adoption since we've been together. We just always thought we'd have bio kids first and then adopt later in life. As lame as it sounds, pinterest is a good source for adoption blogs. The adoption reddit can be very anti-adoption but is a good source of things you wouldn't think of. 

adirat

@tamalahoops Wow, it's anti-adoption? I would not have guessed that. I'll have to go check that out.

tamalahoops

@adirat Its a very weird sub. There are some adoptive parents that try to balance things out but it seems there are a very vocal group that are against adoption in all situations. 

madspunk

@leekat14 Thanks! I'll keep my fingers crossed that your retrieval gets pushed until Monday. I can understand your frustration that the higher doses haven't changed your response. Maybe it will just take a few more of the higher doses and you'll get more Monday. I'll keep hoping for you.

AFM: I have to cancel my cycle or convert to IVF due to over responding. Not sure what I'm going to do yet... I really wanted to give IUI a chance, but my body seems to disagree with my mind.

madspunk

@leekat14 YGPM

leekat14

@tamalahoops My dad was also adopted so I would love to adopt.  I never believed that could be my only option....

[Deleted User]

@TravelingCouple @tamalahoops Congrats on all the progress happening on the adoption front!  We are like @leekat14, were always open to adoption but figured it would be after having had a little flock of bio kids first. :/ life is funny and I guess you never can tell.  I think both of us are slightly more interested in the foster-to-adopt process not only bc I think it's more affordable, but there's just such a need.  But I definitely don't know much about it. If we really couldn't have any babies of our own, it would be hard not to want to pursue private infant adoption too, tho.  So I know there's no right or wrong way to adopt, and all different avenues may work best for different families.  It's weird tho, bc we are technically Catholic but more or less lapsed as of the past year, plus doing ivf, which makes us, "bad Catholics," so even the Christian adoption agencies may require the adoptive couple to be attending Church regularly, have a relationship with their Pastor etc., and we're just not back to that point yet, either.  I feel like for foster to adopt, it might not matter so much as long as you were providing a safe, loving home.... you would think, anyway!

Don't count yourself out yet tho @leekat14 GL monday!!!

safire3

@leekat14 I only had 5 follies at my first check as well. Hoping you have a lot more Monday but from my cycle I learned that it's more important for them to be growing together so they are more likely to be mature at retrieval time. I also took a long time to join the IF board. It was really intimidating to me at first and the rules are a bit different than what I'm used to but there is definitely a wealth of knowledge and experiences there. I hope you can find a distraction this weekend that can lift your spirits (a good book, some chocolate, going out to a nice dinner or movie). This process is so tough and stressful and it takes over your whole life if you let it. Hugs to you. 

beachbunnyxo123

@madspunk oh no so sorry to hear that friend! I was wondering the other day when you gave an update if that would happen since you had 5 follies. I'm sorry I'm on mobile so it's hard to scroll through were you on oral meds or injectables? When do you have to let them know what you want to do by? 

madspunk

@beachbunnyxo123 I was on injectables. Unfortunately, oral meds haven't done anything for me in the past. It's a fine line between nothing and everything in my case. We had to make the decision yesterday and decided not to move forward with IVF but I'm torn up about it, as I was at the point of wanting to do IVF and I'm feeling tired. It's probably on to another break for me so we can save some money and discuss IVF more.

beachbunnyxo123

@madspunk I'm so sorry. I know you were looking forward to this IUI and doing one before moving onto IVF. FWIW if I were in your shoes I would've made the same decision to hold off. That way when you are ready for IVF hopefully your meds will be adjusted for you to produce as many follies as possible (not that 5 isn't good but if you are capable of producing more getting the most that you can). I know that must've been a hard decision for you and YH to make. Hugs 

suchaglencoco

@kariann323 I am sorry its all been so rough on you, but a break from TTC sounds like a good idea to get into a better headspace. Hopefully, things go well for you and you come back from your break with fantastic news for us!

@safire3 I hope you are staying safe in the storm right now!  And AMAZING news about your embryos! 5 is great.

@travelingcouple good luck with your meeting this week. A good friends brother and his husband adopted and I couldn’t believe all of the steps, tests, visits, and checks they had to do to even be on a list. I am glad they look so into potential families, but knowing how amazing those 2 are had me screaming and I am sure it’ll be the same for your friends and family.

@tamalahoops your list of requirements doesn’t seem like a lot, so it’s odd to me you can’t find an agency that has all of that for you. 

TravelingCouple

@leekat14 I really didn't know much until I started spending hours researching and calling adoption agencies. I'm actually finding the opposite near me @tamalahoops, every single agency near me only offers semi-open or open adoptions, most accept every type of couple or single parents as well. However, the interesting road block I've come across is that not a single agency I've called outside of the state I live in (NY) will work with any adoptive families from NY... Simply because the laws to adopt here are the most complicated and time consuming of every other state. I've called about 15 agencies all over the country and not a single one works with NY. So I'm stuck working with an agency in NY, which, by default, means most are very open in accepting all types of families and situations, which is great, but vastly limits the number of birth mothers we will be available to. The agencies here only work within the 3 neighboring states so our pool of birth mothers is smaller, bringing much longer wait times.

@leekat14 Google is a great resource to start looking into agencies near you. If you live anywhere other than NY you'll have a wider network of agencies to choose from too.

Questions I've been asking agencies when I call:
-What's your current wait time to be matched?
-How many birth mothers are you working with now?
-What kind of support do you provide birth mothers?
-What's the first step in finding out more info with your agency?
-What's the average fee for adoption and does that change based on certain criteria of birth mother's needs or baby's race? (Like @tamalahoops it really bothers me that some agencies charge less for babies of African American heritage)
-Do you provide post placement support?

leekat14

@TravelingCouple Well shit. I'm in NY. So great, EVERY part of this journey is like a big f you. 

TravelingCouple

We can be fellow NYers pissed off at the adoption world together. I'll let you know if I find an agency we like that we move forward with. I crossed another one off my list today that isn't accepting applications from adoptive families at this time...sigh. I really feel like every door to a baby is closing right in my effing face these days. @leekat14