Sh*t my SO/ILs/Anyone Says - Page 6 — The Bump
February 2018 Moms

Sh*t my SO/ILs/Anyone Says

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Re: Sh*t my SO/ILs/Anyone Says

  • @chucksmom15 This has a massive TW for loss so proceed with caution (and spoilered)


    That is just horrible.  That poor woman.
    eggplantface
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  • @eggplantface I can't even imagine. How terrible. 
    eggplantface
  • @eggplantface That is just awful.

    Apparently my mom told my brother that she doesn't feel like she and my dad get enough "special time" with our family.  I don't even know what this means.  She lives in the same town, watches DS usually twice a week, and I work with my dad so I see him LITERALLY EVERY WEEKDAY.  I see my parents all the time and certainly much more than my brothers do as they live out of town.

    On the weekend there are times when I want to do activities with just DS and DH or just with DS since I work all week and want to make up for my time apart.  Or I'm doing chores.  I just don't think she realizes how hard it is to juggle work and family time and that there's just not time left in the week for me to plan a big family dinner or an exciting outing. 
    DS 2.07.15
    #2 due 2.15.18
    eggplantface
  • @awb1216 That is frustrating. I think living close to family is such a double edged sword. Mine is close too, so on one hand I know they'll be such a big help when baby comes. On the other hand, I get crazy guilt trips if I'm missing any event or family gathering they hold. I get the balancing act. Hang in there and keep doing whats best for you guys! 

    This morning I was walking down the hall at my office and a lady I work with yelled "DAMN ASH are you sure you're only three months along?" AND THEN proceeded to put her hand on my belly. I think I actually growled at her. 
    eggplantfaceawb1216sugarcoateddonutSquirrelsRWatching
  • @awb1216 my MIL gets butt hurt if we plan family things without them. She lives on the second floor apartment from us. I can't even make a family dinner or she thinks she's invited and I feel guilty so I always just cook for everyone. H's sister however is a selfish hag so I think MIL clings to us because her daughter is just awful. 

    We are buying a home soon and she is mad about having to rent out the third apartment to strangers but I can't wait. I love her I just need space!
    eggplantfaceTattoosandLaceawb1216
  • @awb1216 I get the same guilt trip because my parents are ~45 min away, but it sounds like you see your parents a lot more than I see mine! We go dinner at their house about once a month, but we're there all afternoon and evening. My mom complains that my in-laws get to come visit and sleep in our house for a weekend, so they're getting more time with us than our dinner visits. H recently set them straight when my mom was complaining again, saying "No, my parents arrive at 11 on Friday night and go right to bed. We spend Saturday with them, then they leave at 8am on Sunday. It's just one day." And last night my dad was all "When are you coming home?" I said I was just there a week ago. "Well that's a long time ago!" Really, dad? Is it? Then he said they'd sell my bed if I didn't come sleep in it. We live 45 minutes away in the same metro area! Why on earth would we sleep there?? I'm 37 and am still subject to these guilt trips, I can't stand it. I told him to sell the bed!

    @ash0625 My MIL is the only person so far who has put a hand on my belly (minus H) and it bugged the crap out of me, so I can't imagine if a colleague did it! Although with a colleague or stranger I wouldn't care about bluntly telling them "Hands off." I can't think of anything to say that won't hurt MIL's feelings.
    Me: late 30s | H: early 30s
    TTC #1 since April 2015
    RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016
    IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN
    IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal
    Polyp removed May 2017
    FET May 2017 - BFP!
    Baby boy born 2/2/18

    awb1216ash0625mamaof5already
  • mayapple44mayapple44
    100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    edited August 2017
    Edit : moved to PGAL check in. No idea where to put it!
  • @ash0625 @eggplantface I'm considering this purchase. DH thinks it's too much. I asked him how many people have rubbed his belly without asking...

    NEED. I also saw one that said "Unless you put it there, don't touch it"
    Me: late 30s | H: early 30s
    TTC #1 since April 2015
    RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016
    IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN
    IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal
    Polyp removed May 2017
    FET May 2017 - BFP!
    Baby boy born 2/2/18

    rainafire77babybro218mamaof5alreadympp06
  • @ash0625 @eggplantface I'm considering this purchase. DH thinks it's too much. I asked him how many people have rubbed his belly without asking...

    NEED. I also saw one that said "Unless you put it there, don't touch it"
    I make shirts and I'm so excited for the endless possibilities that await. 
    eggplantfacebabybro218
  • My MIL had 3 boys. She desperately wanted a girl, which she didn't get. So now she's projecting her unfulfilled girl baby desire onto her unborn first grandchild. 

    I actually had to sit her down the other day and say point blank that she was not allowed to be upset if we have a boy. And she got all pouty and said 'I just really want to shop in the pink section....'

    ugh. We don't find out sex for 2 more weeks but I'm already dreading telling her if we are having a boy. Which is SO UNFAIR. 
    Pregnancy Ticker
    eggplantfacemamaof5alreadyrainafire77
  • @ash0625 @eggplantface I'm considering this purchase. DH thinks it's too much. I asked him how many people have rubbed his belly without asking...

    NEED. I also saw one that said "Unless you put it there, don't touch it"
    I make shirts and I'm so excited for the endless possibilities that await. 
     YES. THIS. You may have to make them and sell them to your bump friends. 
    eggplantfacemamaof5already
  • ash0625 said:
    @ash0625 @eggplantface I'm considering this purchase. DH thinks it's too much. I asked him how many people have rubbed his belly without asking...

    NEED. I also saw one that said "Unless you put it there, don't touch it"
    I make shirts and I'm so excited for the endless possibilities that await. 
     YES. THIS. You may have to make them and sell them to your bump friends. 
    Have you seen the one that's like Motherhood: being someone's snack bitch. 

    It's on my to make list 
    eggplantfacemamaof5already
  • The husband and I were talking about spending money since he spent $1000+ on computer stuff. I wasn't so much mad as hurt and concerned since we don't have the crib or anything else for this baby except the carseat. He said we can wait until you get back there's no reason to buy it now. I'll be almost 8 months when I come back to our house from visiting family and I don't think that's the time to be shopping for big ticket items and a car! As much as I see his side I would have rather everything baby wise be covered and him spent a little extra on the computer stuff because it wasn't on sale.
    SoraLk
  • A co-worker recently asked me if I was planning on delivering vaginally. I gave a simple no, it would be a scheduled c-section at 37 weeks. She then went on to tell me about how another one of our co-workers delivered her fraternal twins vaginally with no problem and they were her first kids. I seriously wanted to smack her. She has no idea my medical history or why my twins are being delivered via c-section. She said it this last weekend, and when I came into work today I couldn't even look at her annoying face. 
    *TW* Spoiler
    Me: 33 DH:30
    DD: Aug '16
    10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks.
    10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero surgery
    11/2/17 Twin A & B born 
    11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU
    Benched 6 months 
    BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18  BO
    BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18



    eggplantfacemsunshine123mpp06SquirrelsRWatching
  • A co-worker recently asked me if I was planning on delivering vaginally. I gave a simple no, it would be a scheduled c-section at 37 weeks. She then went on to tell me about how another one of our co-workers delivered her fraternal twins vaginally with no problem and they were her first kids. I seriously wanted to smack her. She has no idea my medical history or why my twins are being delivered via c-section. She said it this last weekend, and when I came into work today I couldn't even look at her annoying face. 
    Push her out a window. Only way to end that. 
    babybro218chucksmom15ash0625
  • A co-worker recently asked me if I was planning on delivering vaginally. I gave a simple no, it would be a scheduled c-section at 37 weeks. She then went on to tell me about how another one of our co-workers delivered her fraternal twins vaginally with no problem and they were her first kids. I seriously wanted to smack her. She has no idea my medical history or why my twins are being delivered via c-section. She said it this last weekend, and when I came into work today I couldn't even look at her annoying face. 
    Push her out a window. Only way to end that. 
    fffc: i have definitely imagined that. She has a history of saying offensive things to just about everyone. And she has a way of wording things and putting a knife twisting tone in that drives me nuts. I have decided I need to just steer clear of her negative vibe. 
    *TW* Spoiler
    Me: 33 DH:30
    DD: Aug '16
    10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks.
    10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero surgery
    11/2/17 Twin A & B born 
    11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU
    Benched 6 months 
    BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18  BO
    BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18



    babybro218mamaof5alreadymsunshine123
  • A co-worker recently asked me if I was planning on delivering vaginally. I gave a simple no, it would be a scheduled c-section at 37 weeks. She then went on to tell me about how another one of our co-workers delivered her fraternal twins vaginally with no problem and they were her first kids. I seriously wanted to smack her. She has no idea my medical history or why my twins are being delivered via c-section. She said it this last weekend, and when I came into work today I couldn't even look at her annoying face. 
    Push her out a window. Only way to end that. 
    fffc: i have definitely imagined that. She has a history of saying offensive things to just about everyone. And she has a way of wording things and putting a knife twisting tone in that drives me nuts. I have decided I need to just steer clear of her negative vibe. 
    She sounds like a real peach. Better off away from her. 
    meatballs37msunshine123
  • Why do people assume your family will end with a second child. A customer yesterday told me if I have another boy I'll be filled with so much joy that I will rarely regret not having a girl. I mean if I end up with all boys that's cool but I will have more children after this LO. 
    msunshine123mamaof5alreadympp06meatballs37
  • Why do people assume your family will end with a second child. A customer yesterday told me if I have another boy I'll be filled with so much joy that I will rarely regret not having a girl. I mean if I end up with all boys that's cool but I will have more children after this LO. 
    I got this all the time when we found out DD was a girl. "Guess you are done!", "yay you'll have one of each". 

    They were surprised when we announced this pregnancy. And shocked it was planned. I have always wanted three kids. 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    BabyFruit Ticker
    msunshine123meatballs37SquirrelsRWatching
  • Why do people assume your family will end with a second child. A customer yesterday told me if I have another boy I'll be filled with so much joy that I will rarely regret not having a girl. I mean if I end up with all boys that's cool but I will have more children after this LO. 
    Man, I really hate that one. My SIL made the comment that she was sad there wouldn't be any more babies in the family after we had DD2.
    ...uh...okay....glad to know you have a say in my reproductive life?
    msunshine123SunflowerMama428mpp06
  • @SunflowerMama428 people are so clueless sometimes!
  • I told a friend yesterday (a 40 year old woman) and she kissed my belly. Sweet, I guess, but also weird.

  • Also can I add little boys are so sweet to thier mamas I would be thrilled to have all boys. My son literally breaks my heart down every day with how much he loves me. Not that little girls don't do that but I don't know how I feel about teenage girls yet lol I don't know if I want one of those. 

    @babybro218 I would be like this if someone kissed my belly besides DS or DH


    TattoosandLacemagnolia305mamaof5alreadybabybro218
  • This morning MIL asked DH if I had insurance. Then asked if I was pregnant.
    DH goes "does it matter?" (Because he doesn't want to tell until after the anatomy scan...which is tomorrow).
     MIL: well it's about time. she doesn't use any birth control.

    WTAF. My reproductive life is none of her business. She wouldn't even know if I did or didn't use birth control. Also, are condoms not birth control? Why is it that *I* don't use birth control? I thought it took two people to make a baby? 

    I guess just add it to the long list of WTAF WHY questions I have about her. 

  • This morning MIL asked DH if I had insurance. Then asked if I was pregnant.
    DH goes "does it matter?" (Because he doesn't want to tell until after the anatomy scan...which is tomorrow).
     MIL: well it's about time. she doesn't use any birth control.

    WTAF. My reproductive life is none of her business. She wouldn't even know if I did or didn't use birth control. Also, are condoms not birth control? Why is it that *I* don't use birth control? I thought it took two people to make a baby? 

    I guess just add it to the long list of WTAF WHY questions I have about her. 

    Wow.  That's all.  Just... WOW.
    mpp06
  • @TattoosandLace I'm right there with you with "WTAF." How is any of this anyone's business??
    Me: late 30s | H: early 30s
    TTC #1 since April 2015
    RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016
    IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN
    IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal
    Polyp removed May 2017
    FET May 2017 - BFP!
    Baby boy born 2/2/18

  • @TattoosandLace unbelievable! My guess is she already suspects you're pregnant and she was digging for some info from your DH. 
  • This morning MIL asked DH if I had insurance. Then asked if I was pregnant.
    DH goes "does it matter?" (Because he doesn't want to tell until after the anatomy scan...which is tomorrow).
     MIL: well it's about time. she doesn't use any birth control.

    WTAF. My reproductive life is none of her business. She wouldn't even know if I did or didn't use birth control. Also, are condoms not birth control? Why is it that *I* don't use birth control? I thought it took two people to make a baby? 

    I guess just add it to the long list of WTAF WHY questions I have about her. 

    Why didn't your dh just tell her? Hadn't you been trying to find  a way to tell them for awhile? Is it now going to be super awkward to tell her tomorrow?

    Her knowing if you use birth control maybe your dh told her? Otherwise she's just assuming. 
    BabyFruit Ticker
    older siblings: ds 16 dd 14 ds 13 dd 11 dd 7 
  • This morning MIL asked DH if I had insurance. Then asked if I was pregnant.
    DH goes "does it matter?" (Because he doesn't want to tell until after the anatomy scan...which is tomorrow).
     MIL: well it's about time. she doesn't use any birth control.

    WTAF. My reproductive life is none of her business. She wouldn't even know if I did or didn't use birth control. Also, are condoms not birth control? Why is it that *I* don't use birth control? I thought it took two people to make a baby? 

    I guess just add it to the long list of WTAF WHY questions I have about her. 

    Why didn't your dh just tell her? Hadn't you been trying to find  a way to tell them for awhile? Is it now going to be super awkward to tell her tomorrow?

    Her knowing if you use birth control maybe your dh told her? Otherwise she's just assuming. 
    They didn't want to tell until after the A/S which is there own right. Why do people feel the need to out the pregnant lady. It's not like it gets the baby here any faster 
  • @TattoosandLace MIL sounds like a real treat. How does she know anything about your birth control, jeez

     DD born Oct 2011 - DS#1 born Jan 2014 - DS#2 born Apr 2015 - DS#3 born Sept 2016 - LO#5 due Feb 7, 2018

  • Tagger isn't working again. *insert eye roll here* 

    We are assuming SIL3 opened her big fat trap and told everyone. (The one that found out when I threw up an entire burger at six weeks and would not let it go.)

    I know DH has never talked to her about our sex life or birth control. She literally is just assuming and being rude as fuck. I hate that she's implying this baby is an "accident". 

    One of the problems we ms we ran into when we told MIL about DD1 was she literally started making calls as soon as we left her house. (Knowing we said to hush until everyone got a phone call from us). DH didn't get to be the one to tell him brother because MIL called him as soon as we closed her front door. 

    DH wanted to wait until after the anatomy scan, Especially after BIL and SIL3 got their bad news at their anatomy scan last August. 

    I literally still just look fat, so it isn't like I'm "showing". Photo added for reference. Taken yesterday at 18W2D


    msunshine123fruitpudding1696
  • @TattoosandLace Throat punching is definitely in order. I'm sorry they're such butt munches.

    ****TW Signature****
    BabyFruit Ticker
    DD born 04/28/2002
    Married DH 03/25/2017
    1st MMC 08/13/2016 2nd MMC 02/14/2017
    BFP 06/16/17 Rainbow DS Born 02/05/2018


    babybro218
  • I hate your MIL @TattoosandLace

     DD born Oct 2011 - DS#1 born Jan 2014 - DS#2 born Apr 2015 - DS#3 born Sept 2016 - LO#5 due Feb 7, 2018

    babybro218
  • Ugh, what a biotch @TattoosandLace
    Me: late 30s | H: early 30s
    TTC #1 since April 2015
    RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016
    IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN
    IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal
    Polyp removed May 2017
    FET May 2017 - BFP!
    Baby boy born 2/2/18

  • sabriel1 said:
    I hate your MIL @TattoosandLace
    Me too. 
  • @TattoosandLace so sorry you're having to deal with such a crazy MIL.
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