Sh*t my SO/ILs/Anyone Says - Page 3 — The Bump
February 2018 Moms

Sh*t my SO/ILs/Anyone Says

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Re: Sh*t my SO/ILs/Anyone Says

  • @jlcrunchberry OMG, that is quite literally the worst I've heard

     DD born Oct 2011 - DS#1 born Jan 2014 - DS#2 born Apr 2015 - DS#3 born Sept 2016 - LO#5 due Feb 7, 2018

    julievdm12SquirrelsRWatching
  • Oh I have some whoppers

    When my DD was 2 months old, my mom offered to watch her for an afternoon. I accepted and left very specific directions which she promptly threw out the window. I come back and we start bickering over something she did or didn't do, she responds "well she is my daughter, I'll do what I want." WHAT!? She quickly corrected herself, said "granddaughter" then denied ever having said "daughter" to begin with.

    When I old my now former boss that I was pregnant with DS he reached into his desk drawer and took out his checkbook and a pen, leans forward and says stone faced "alright, how much is this going to cost me for you to...take care of it" my jaw dropped open and with nervous laughter I said "um, excuse me?" He responds "I guess you're adiment on keeping it then. Alright well congratulations I guess."

    A couple responses when I announced this pregnancy:
    "On purpose?"-coworker
    "This was planned?" -coworker
    "Uh, is that a good thing? I'm not sure if I should be congratulating you or not." -boss
    If you dont mind my asking, what BMB were you in with your Ds? i feel like I remember you telling this story right after it happened! 

    Such crazy insane people you have to work with! Like do they not have filters? 
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  • Oh I have some whoppers

    When my DD was 2 months old, my mom offered to watch her for an afternoon. I accepted and left very specific directions which she promptly threw out the window. I come back and we start bickering over something she did or didn't do, she responds "well she is my daughter, I'll do what I want." WHAT!? She quickly corrected herself, said "granddaughter" then denied ever having said "daughter" to begin with.

    When I old my now former boss that I was pregnant with DS he reached into his desk drawer and took out his checkbook and a pen, leans forward and says stone faced "alright, how much is this going to cost me for you to...take care of it" my jaw dropped open and with nervous laughter I said "um, excuse me?" He responds "I guess you're adiment on keeping it then. Alright well congratulations I guess."

    A couple responses when I announced this pregnancy:
    "On purpose?"-coworker
    "This was planned?" -coworker
    "Uh, is that a good thing? I'm not sure if I should be congratulating you or not." -boss
    What...an...asshole! 

    ****TW Signature****
    BabyFruit Ticker
    DD born 04/28/2002
    Married DH 03/25/2017
    1st MMC 08/13/2016 2nd MMC 02/14/2017
    BFP 06/16/17 Rainbow DS Born 02/05/2018


  • @jlcrunchberry I would have been so pissed and told him how inappropriate that was. Do people not think before they speak?! 
    *TW* Spoiler
    Me: 33 DH:30
    DD: Aug '16
    10/2017: Twins confirmed with TTTS at 22 weeks.
    10/10/17 Twin B passed after in utero surgery
    11/2/17 Twin A & B born 
    11/26/17: Twin A passed after 24 days fighting in the NICU
    Benched 6 months 
    BFP: 6/28/18 MC:7/16/18  BO
    BFP: 10/2/18 EDD 6/15/18



  • eggplantfaceeggplantface
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    edited August 2017
    @jlcrunchberry Yeah, that's a reportable comment! How insane!
    (ETA reportable to HR, not TB)

    This weekend my in-laws were in town. The short version: After I told MIL what the fetus had developed (organs, limbs), she said "See, now how can anyone abort at this stage?" Well I'm pro-choice so I have many reasons why someone would abort, but why in the hell did she go right to that??

    She also kept calling the baby a "little bundle" and it started to freak me out. She keeps asking if my parents are excited about the baby, I don't know why, and I said "My mom is, but my dad's pretty low key so he's just like "Cool, there's a baby."" And that's just how my dad is, I don't care. So she goes "Well when he sees that little bundle I'm sure he'll get excited" and I'm like "Yeah, no, he won't, he doesn't do babies. It's OK. He's still a human with a heart." And she kept saying it over and over, "I'm sure when they see the little bundle..." Maybe it's pregnancy making me irritable but it grated on my nerves.
    Me: late 30s | H: early 30s
    TTC #1 since April 2015
    RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016
    IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN
    IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal
    Polyp removed May 2017
    FET May 2017 - BFP!
    Baby boy born 2/2/18

    alice0218
  • My sister asked me what we were naming the baby today and when I told her she just kept asking, what? Like totally shocked we'd ever pick that name. I get that it's a little different, it's Kateri, but it's just the way she kept saying it and asking what? I'm not one to get easily offended but it's my kid, if you don't like the name too bad.
  • @jlcrunchberry - wow your coworkers are something! Yeah you could report that to HR - so inappropriate!

    mpp06SquirrelsRWatching
  • My dad just told me he hopes I have another c section....because last time I was "in labor for like 8 years" and it was too nerve wracking for him! 
    Thanks Dad, but if I can have a VBAC and avoid major surgery, I'm going to try for it. Because an easier recovery and being able to actually lift DD, drive, etc. is a little more important than you not wanting to wait so long for the baby to be born! I love my dad, but things are often all about him!
    TattoosandLaceeggplantfacealice0218
  • My coworker, when I told him I was pregnant: "Congratulations! Or is it...congratulations??" With this gesture like it was a mistake. I said "Maybe if I were 20, but at 37 it's safe to say I wanted this." He's all "you never know!" And I'm thinking "you can still read your audience better."
    Me: late 30s | H: early 30s
    TTC #1 since April 2015
    RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016
    IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN
    IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal
    Polyp removed May 2017
    FET May 2017 - BFP!
    Baby boy born 2/2/18

  • This weekend we were out at the family cottage with DH's parents, siblings, aunt, uncle, cousin and girlfriend. DH had told his brother our boy name (which was fine by me) but then BIL goes and tells everyone around the dining room table what our boy name is! I was in such shock I couldn't even respond. It wasn't his news to share! I'm still really mad, even though his brother is generally a pretty good guy.

    After that, everyone started giving us ideas for girls names. I just sat there in silence while they went on for 20-30 minutes! They somehow didn't clue in that one of the two people that actually have a say on the baby name wasn't involved in the conversation.
    eggplantfacealice0218
  • This weekend we were out at the family cottage with DH's parents, siblings, aunt, uncle, cousin and girlfriend. DH had told his brother our boy name (which was fine by me) but then BIL goes and tells everyone around the dining room table what our boy name is! I was in such shock I couldn't even respond. It wasn't his news to share! I'm still really mad, even though his brother is generally a pretty good guy.

    After that, everyone started giving us ideas for girls names. I just sat there in silence while they went on for 20-30 minutes! They somehow didn't clue in that one of the two people that actually have a say on the baby name wasn't involved in the conversation.
    That sucks. I'm sorry. We always keep our names a secret until baby arrives. Might be more interesting this time being Team Green.
  • We saw my MIL this weekend and she kept going on about how she really hopes this baby is a boy. She's been telling me that since before my daughter was even born. Anyway I told her I'd rather have a girl since they'll be two years apart and we are undecided on a third. She then proceeded to tell me that we have no business having a third baby and two is the right number. 

    Worse than that, though not said to me, we were there for my niece's first birthday. She was born with one kidney and her mom is very strict with her diet trying to keep her as healthy as possible. My MIL tried to give my DD ice cream at 4 months so this should set the tone for sure. My niece was doing her smash cake and my MIL said to the whole room "OH well I'm not allowed to give her donuts but I guess Ashley (mom) can let her eat cupcake". Uh yeah actually her mom can let her eat what she wants her too. 
    mamaof5alreadyTattoosandLaceSquirrelsRWatching
  • I just love the people that "act" excited. I was at a repass for a deceased family member. My youngest nephew (12), asked me why didn't I tell him that I was having a baby. It caught me off guard because he could have only heard it from my youngest sister. We found out he was eavesdropping on a phone conversation between me and her. But when he asked, my other sister and older brother overheard him. They both turn to me and my brother asked "is your old ass really pregnant?" My sister acts all excited and then after I leave she goes to my baby sister and says " is she serious...why". 
  • I just love the people that "act" excited. I was at a repass for a deceased family member. My youngest nephew (12), asked me why didn't I tell him that I was having a baby. It caught me off guard because he could have only heard it from my youngest sister. We found out he was eavesdropping on a phone conversation between me and her. But when he asked, my other sister and older brother overheard him. They both turn to me and my brother asked "is your old ass really pregnant?" My sister acts all excited and then after I leave she goes to my baby sister and says " is she serious...why". 
    Ouch, your brother and sister are really hurtful

     DD born Oct 2011 - DS#1 born Jan 2014 - DS#2 born Apr 2015 - DS#3 born Sept 2016 - LO#5 due Feb 7, 2018

  • @no_seriously wow! I'm so sorry about the comments your family made. So wrong! 
  • Ugh @SarahFoley725 and @no_seriously people are so rude!
  • @no_seriously What is wrong with people??
    Me: late 30s | H: early 30s
    TTC #1 since April 2015
    RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016
    IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN
    IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal
    Polyp removed May 2017
    FET May 2017 - BFP!
    Baby boy born 2/2/18

    mpp06SquirrelsRWatching
  • edited August 2017
    TW possibly...

    background info- we have had 5 MC's in the past 9 years, we saw a fertility specialist for DS2 and he thought my issues stemmed from ovulating late and the eggs being too "old" by the time they were fertilized, resulting in MC's. So we took meds for ovulation and spun DH's sperm to get the best sperm and best eggs possible. Then had an IUI which resulted in DS2. This pregnancy was a surprise and we were "done" having children before we found out about this one.


    Over the past week, I have had very very minimal pregnancy symptoms. I know this could be me getting to 13 weeks, baby could be totally fine, or it could mean that something is wrong (pgal brain). My co-worker just had a baby last year (got pregnant first try). I was talking to her today and telling her that I didn't "feel" pregnant at all bc she commented on how she couldn't even tell the past two days. I told her that I thought I looked smaller too and that it makes me think something is wrong. She said "you have to think positive, the mind is very powerful." This is the 10th time at least she's said this to me over the past 7 weeks. 

    I get it, I really do and I do believe what we think is very powerful in our lives... BUT I prayed, loved, and hoped for our other 5 losses with ALL my heart and soul. I was devastated with each loss and so raw with emotion...I guess my point is that no mindset will change what will happen. I can't control the outcome and its hard to hear people say that, even unknowingly, because I did wish/pray/hope/dream with all my heart for the others and it didn't change the outcome. 

    **I'm not upset at all with my co-worker, she means well and was trying to be helpful. It is just something that is hard to relate to unless you've gone through a loss. I just smile/nod and then think my thoughts in private.
  • Sorry you are having a rough time @neener*neener*.  When is your next appointment?
  • @chucksmom15
    Thank you! Next Wednesday I have an appointment. My doctor will do my full physical and said she'd also do another ultrasound due to my history. She knows my anxiety/worries and is great about trying to help ease my mind. My last scan was at 10 weeks and all looked good but I went in bc I had a little bit of spotting. Haven't had any since but can't turn my pgal brain off. I think its especially hard because we didn't plan for this one, no meds/doctors, I'm older, heavier etc... so by all accounts it should be harder for me to have a successful/healthy pregnancy. 
  • @neener*neener* I think sometimes people just don't know what to say, but at the same time with your history she needs to realize keeping a positive mind isn't going to change anything that may happen. I hope everything goes well at your appointment! <3
    neener*neener*
  • I hope the next 6 days fly by for you!!  Keep us updated!
    neener*neener*
  • @neener*neener* I'm sorry, yeah people really don't know what to say when they haven't been through it, no matter how well meaning they are. I'm terrible at it too with other things but just tend to not open my mouth because I know I'm terrible at it and I can support in other ways than words. But miscarriage seems an especially hard one for people to be sensitive to and understand. I hope all is well, PGAL brain is the worst but symptoms do taper off for lots of people around this time so try not to worry too much! Mine are improving too at 12 weeks and I have a terrible pregnancy history as well. 
    Married 6/1/13
    BFP #1 7/2013 MMC 9/17/13
    BFP #2 5/2014 MC 6/15/14
    BFP #3 11/13/14 (Found in ER with ruptured cyst) Diagnosed MC 11/15/14
    BFP #4  4/2015 MC 7/1/15
    BFP #5 10/21/15  EDD 7/3/16 Praying for our rainbow! 
  • @neener*neener I agree that people who haven't experienced a loss can sometimes not understand how hurtful things they say can be even when their intention is trying to be positive. No I don't believe there is a mindset that would change how things turned out for you or for any of us who had our losses - If there was anything we could have done to have had a different outcome we would have. As far as how you're feeling now - if you call your MD will they let you come in and listen to the heartbeat? My doctor has an open door to help reduce stress and I can go in when needed - I'd say call and check it out! 
    magnolia305RaeleenDmpp06neener*neener*
  • @neener*neener* thinking of you. Hope it all goes well at your next appointment. 
    neener*neener*
  • I have been diagnosed with hypermesis so am pretty much stuck in bed most days. Was crying I was so worn out and my hubby kindly pointend out that I'm not the first person to be pregnant and everyone else copes fine! 
    eggplantfacealice0218
  • @knottiemorris I agree with @eggplantface! Hyperemesis is no joke - we have a tread for it here. Hope it gets better for you soon!
    knottiemorris
  • @knottiemorris I'm so sorry. I don't get how some people can be so insensitive, especially when they can see how miserable you are sick. 
    knottiemorris
  • Funny thing... I finally told my boss yesterday that I'm pregnant, and mentioned that I'll probably still keep it pretty quiet another week or two. He goes, congrats and sure I can keep a secret. 

    This morning he stops by my desk and goes, "Good morning! How're you feeling? Any sickness? Nausea? Just saying..." wink wink. Lol. 
    eggplantfacemamaof5alreadymsunshine123
  • We still haven't announced or told his family. Someone at the homeschool co-op ice cream social told me I "look like you're carrying a secret" 
    uhhhhhh what?
    eggplantfacemsunshine123
  • One of the flight attendants on our plane yesterday pointed to my belly and said whatcha got in there?
    msunshine123alice0218
  • We still haven't announced or told his family. Someone at the homeschool co-op ice cream social told me I "look like you're carrying a secret" 
    uhhhhhh what?

    Me: late 30s | H: early 30s
    TTC #1 since April 2015
    RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016
    IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN
    IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal
    Polyp removed May 2017
    FET May 2017 - BFP!
    Baby boy born 2/2/18

    TattoosandLace
  • @TattoosandLace and @chucksmom15 ;
    that. Is. horrible. 
    People lack brains way too often....
    TattoosandLace
  • ash0625ash0625
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    edited August 2017
    We still haven't announced or told his family. Someone at the homeschool co-op ice cream social told me I "look like you're carrying a secret" 
    uhhhhhh what?


    edited to add: appropriate for comment to @chucksmom15
    TattoosandLace
  • I politely replied a little boy but that gif from @ash0625 was how I felt.  I'm a FTM and I'm obviously showing some but I already feel as big as a house (I know I'm really not that big). I'm not used to seeing myself with anything but some pudge so give me a minute strange lady!!
    rainafire77msunshine123
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