Sh!t people Say to Pregnant Ladies

mrs_tacos

We've already had many discussions about the ridiculous and rude things people say to pregnant women, and I thought it might be time for a dedicated thread. So go ahead, post all the out of line nonsense people say to you here. We promise to be outraged on your behalf.  

Becky012016

More of an eye roll than anything else.

From a fellow mom to be as we were talking about laundry changes when the first comes along: my baby won't be that messy (as in blow outs and spit up) because my mom says I didn't do those things. Yeah. Ok. 

wyomama0427

Cashier at the grocery store said to me, "You got a girl in there?"

It's really the phrasing that got me on that one lol.

mrs_tacos

This was not said to me, and it's technically not to a pregnant woman, but I was in Motherhood Maternity today, and another woman was there with her mom and newborn. She was expressing some struggles she was having adjusting to her post-baby body, and her mom rolled her eyes and said, "I never got my body back after you kids, you won't get yours back either. Just learn to deal with it already." Her poor daughter looked so crushed. Her daughter hadn't said anything outrageous, and she looked pretty good for having had a baby just a few weeks ago.

Also, my neighbor told me today to stop waisting my money on maternity clothes, and just buy regular clothes a size bigger. When I told her that was uncomfortable and then the clothes just drowned me, she said, "Honey, you're pregnant, ain't nobody lookin' at your body "like that" anymore anyways." (Quotations around like that represent her air quotes.) She a little crazy anyway, so I take everything she says with many grains of salt, but this one particularly made me roll my eyes. As if men sexualizing me were the only reason I'd ever want well fitted clothed.   

Sugargirl1019

@mrs_tacos That lady's husband must never have been googly eyed over her new breasts in pregnancy.. DH still pays attention to me thankfully even when I feel like a whale!

mrsvp614

I'm sure I'll be back to add more, and this has been mentioned on plenty of threads here, but we've probably all heard already "oh my god, it's going to be so hot in the summer, you're going to be miserable." No shit. Summer is hot. There's no such thing as scheduling your pregnancy for perfect weather. 

coastalmomma2

When people, especially family, blame my relevant anger/frustration on "pregnancy hormones." Then there are the folks at work and at DS' daycare who ask me if this pregnancy was planned...

mandt0917

Basically same as PP stated that this has been mentioned before and I'm sure plenty of us have heard this but the "Are you sure there's only one in there?" Or the "When I/my daughter/my sister/etc was that far along I wasn't showing that much yet".. I'm a FTM and have already heard this more than once and, it may just be hormones because I usually don't let things get to me or I'll just shrug it off as negligence, but this has been getting to me now. Like, do people realize how they sound/what they're saying? Would they say that to someone who's not pregnant??

iheartichi

"You're already wearing maternity clothes?" Got that yesterday. Maybe I should just wait until 8 months to wear maternity. 

jillibean0871

My father asked me over Easter if I was sure about my due date and whether there  as only one in there.  I have only gained a minimal amount of weight compared to my last pregnancy, I'm a eeek from half way through and really GFY bc this is my body, my baby and if I'm hungry I'm eating.

lap018

My husbands grandmother "do you find that when you're pregnant your hair just has a mind of its own on how it looks?" This was on Easter Sunday so I had gotten up showered blow dried and curled my hair..... I was like... "no my hair is a beast that needs taming all the time pregnant or not" but damn when you think your hair look good nothing makes you feel uglier than someone passive aggressively saying it looks like it "has a mind of its own"

thinkpositive2017

"Oh my god, there's a baby in there! I thought you just got fat over the winter."

"Thank god pregnancy isn't contagious."

labby18

"I showed the picture you sent of your bump to ____, they want to know if you're having twins! How can your bump be that big at only 18weeks?"

divinemsm620

So glad I'm not alone with the "maybe it's twins"
comments! I shared earlier this week that I'd gotten one from a stranger who was shocked that I was due all the way in September. But as HDBD teaches us, bumps come in a wide variety of shapes and sizes and all of them are beautiful, no matter what some old biddy might think!

labby18

@divinemsm620
Mind boggling. My mom knows there's only 1 in there. And I have no idea why she would think it's ok to say to her pregnant daughter that her friend thinks I'm having twins... *sidenote* mother texted me earlier this week asking for peace and wanting a positive discourse (who uses that terminology?), and this is her way of being nice? i don't get it.

Breath_Easy92

Ugh I'm the first one of my friends to have a baby so I feel like I don't even have friends anymore but when they do talk to me it's endless rude comments. I like to think they just don't know better.  However, we are all around 24 so it's time we all start growing up. 

-Wow have much weight have you gained? (I've only gained 4 pounds in 20 weeks!)
-why are you so big already?(once again I'm not that big)
-can I have your old clothes, I mean they won't fit again. (Some of them still fit now, do they wanna rip them off me?)
-so after baby is here like are you going to still party with us? 
-etc.

Breath_Easy92

@iheartichi don't feel bad about wearing maturnity clothes! I starting wearing the pants at 12 weeks just because they were more comfortable and I dont want to stretch out my regular pants. Plus it's none of they're business everyone carries different.

@jillibean0871 I'm sorry I feel like it's even rougher coming from family. 

@Becky012016  haha whoever said their baby won't be messy is going to be scared just from the birth process itself. 

Rhubarb7216

Me to my sister earlier this week: Serena Williams is also 20 weeks pregnant.
Sister: Yeah I know. You look more pregnant than her.

There is really no need to say things like this, whether it's meant to be negative or not. A pregnant woman's brain is always going to twist this into negative even if it wasn't meant to be! My sister should know - she's been pregnant before! Also, Serena Williams and I have completely different body types (I am 5'2" with a short torso) and I'm not especially big for 20 (now 21) weeks - I've only gained 5 lbs!

Ae_Lovely321

@labby18 I'm shocked your mom thought you would want to hear that. No woman wants to hear that. 

The only thing I have ever heard from someone that I was like I'm not sure how to take this was a guy I work with told me I look more pregnant every time he sees me.  

HollyGolightly09

I guess I have gotten really lucky... no rude/odd/unnecessary comments yet. 

ETA: Except, of course, for my MIL saying "Well, that's okay... we'll love it anyway." When told her new grand baby is a girl. But, alas... almost everything she says to me is rude, odd, or unnecessary. It's not pregnancy specific. 

DPandMB

Lady at the bank just asked when I was due. I said September 3rd. Her eyes got real wide and she said "oh wow. You still have a long time". I wanted to punch her and say F you 

klcarr19

MrsVP614 said:

I'm sure I'll be back to add more, and this has been mentioned on plenty of threads here, but we've probably all heard already "oh my god, it's going to be so hot in the summer, you're going to be miserable." No shit. Summer is hot. There's no such thing as scheduling your pregnancy for perfect weather. 

@MrsVP614 We moved to a Florida in december from Central Illinois and everyone I have run into was like "whoa! Being pregnant your first summer down here is brave." Or "well you sure didn't plan that out right." It's called air conditioning... calm your selves. Major eye roll!

klcarr19

@iheartichi when it's your second kid you go "oh darn... back to stretchy pants... I was in my maternity clothes at 8 weeks! Haha. So comfy!

wyomama0427

klcarr19 said:

@iheartichi when it's your second kid you go "oh darn... back to stretchy pants... I was in my maternity clothes at 8 weeks! Haha. So comfy!

Saaaaaame!!!!!!! 

labby18

klcarr19 said:

MrsVP614 said:

I'm sure I'll be back to add more, and this has been mentioned on plenty of threads here, but we've probably all heard already "oh my god, it's going to be so hot in the summer, you're going to be miserable." No shit. Summer is hot. There's no such thing as scheduling your pregnancy for perfect weather. 

@MrsVP614 We moved to a Florida in december from Central Illinois and everyone I have run into was like "whoa! Being pregnant your first summer down here is brave." Or "well you sure didn't plan that out right." It's called air conditioning... calm your selves. Major eye roll!

It's my last summer here in FL....wanted it to be one to remember. lol. 

klcarr19

This pregnancy I have been battling low blood pressure that is causing me to get really sick. I ran out of sick days and the last time I was out of work for an ER visit I came back and got the whole "you know it's hard on us when you miss so much work." I wanted to be like "it's hard on me when i have to go to the ER for passing out on my bedroom floor before work." Yup because I love missing work that I will even go to the hospital to get out of it. 

sarahufl

DD has always been a really calm, cheerful baby. They will be about 18 months apart and everyone insists on telling me that, since DD is so good, this one is going to be a terror. Um, ok? First of all, why is your first inclination to tell me how much my kid will suck? And why do people insist on saying this like it is a fact? Ok, sure- maybe #2 will be tougher. But maybe he/she will be easier. Fact is, nobody knows.

wyomama0427

@sarahufl I'll probably start bawling right there if someone says that to me. DS is far from an angel. In fact, he's a trouble maker. If someone tells me the next one will be worse, I'll probably have a mental breakdown

sarahufl

@wyomama0427- I'm sorry. I hope you get better luck this time around. How far apart are they?

wyomama0427

@sarahufl DS will be 19 months when this one comes. He's 15 months now, and he is already a handful. He doesn't listen, he does everything he knows he's not supposed to do and even when I tell him no he just keeps doing it. He is very hard to handle sometimes! 

HollyGolightly09

wyomama0427 said:

@sarahufl DS will be 19 months when this one comes. He's 15 months now, and he is already a handful. He doesn't listen, he does everything he knows he's not supposed to do and even when I tell him no he just keeps doing it. He is very hard to handle sometimes! 

I've taught several sibling sets, and typically if the older kid is really well behaved, the younger one will give you a run for your money. Not sure why it is.... BUT I have also taught plenty that were reversed. I kind of dreaded the younger sibling because the first was such a handful, but then the younger one ended up being super calm and easy going. 

sarahufl

HollyGolightly09 said:

wyomama0427 said:

@sarahufl DS will be 19 months when this one comes. He's 15 months now, and he is already a handful. He doesn't listen, he does everything he knows he's not supposed to do and even when I tell him no he just keeps doing it. He is very hard to handle sometimes! 

I've taught several sibling sets, and typically if the older kid is really well behaved, the younger one will give you a run for your money. Not sure why it is.... BUT I have also taught plenty that were reversed. I kind of dreaded the younger sibling because the first was such a handful, but then the younger one ended up being super calm and easy going. 

Honestly, I am prepared for the fact that they will be different. And I don't think I am somehow immune to that- it is the fact that so many people have this kneejerk reaction to tell me how much my child will suck that bugs me. What is wrong with "that is great! congrats!"? Or just.....nothing at all? DH is #5 and I am #3 and our parents both say we were their easiest children. 

iheartichi

klcarr19 said:

@iheartichi when it's your second kid you go "oh darn... back to stretchy pants... I was in my maternity clothes at 8 weeks! Haha. So comfy!

Yep! This guy said this to me at work, and I was not really announcing it there except to my boss and close friends, so I was trying to stretch out my belly band and flowy shirts. But there comes a point where that just doesn't work anymore, and I'm there! I LOVE maternity clothes!! 

Knottie1452987120

@MrsVP614 I just moved to the South, and when I told a friend from home that I was nervous about the heat this summer, she said, "I'm SO glad both of my babies were born in the winter." I was like, That sounds like it was a very nice thing for you.

klcarr19

@Knottie1452987120 I had my baby in March last time... I can assure you... it's a struggle no matter the season! We can brave our first pregnancies in southern summers together! Haha

BigBadWolf12

Maybe this is a UO? (I never think of them on Thursdays, darnit!)

At this point I'm happy to be the most pregnant in the summer...ask me again in August and maybe I'll change my mind, but there's no need for expensive maternity clothes like coats, boots because of swollen feet, heavy sweaters and pants, just a few sundresses and I'm good to go! Plus, by the time I'm working OFF the baby weight I can hide behind those big fluffy sweaters and coats for a while as I cuddle my baby  

msashley2010-2

I hate when people make unnecessary comments about my ever changing body. Some people comment on how big I am and some people comment on how tiny I am. 

"Oh! Look at you!!! You are really getting a belly!!!!" 

Then at the doctor's office I dread the scale. I've already gained 12 lbs so far and I'm only at 21 weeks and I'm concerned that I'm gaining too much for so early. All the girls at the obgyn just coo at me and tell me how tiny I am or that it's "all belly" and I'll go right back to normal after pregnancy. 

I just wish the comments would stop altogether ether because none of them help me feel better about myself. SO has been so kind to me and just tells me I look beautiful and makes no comments about my body. (Unless they're good ones.) 

msashley2010-2

My daughter does say some funny things though. She'll say "you look an appropriate amount of pregnant in that dress, mommy." 

Or she'll bring me a piece of candy and tell me that it's for her little brother. 

HollyGolightly09

sarahufl said:

HollyGolightly09 said:

wyomama0427 said:

@sarahufl DS will be 19 months when this one comes. He's 15 months now, and he is already a handful. He doesn't listen, he does everything he knows he's not supposed to do and even when I tell him no he just keeps doing it. He is very hard to handle sometimes! 

I've taught several sibling sets, and typically if the older kid is really well behaved, the younger one will give you a run for your money. Not sure why it is.... BUT I have also taught plenty that were reversed. I kind of dreaded the younger sibling because the first was such a handful, but then the younger one ended up being super calm and easy going. 

Honestly, I am prepared for the fact that they will be different. And I don't think I am somehow immune to that- it is the fact that so many people have this kneejerk reaction to tell me how much my child will suck that bugs me. What is wrong with "that is great! congrats!"? Or just.....nothing at all? DH is #5 and I am #3 and our parents both say we were their easiest children. 

Oh, yeah... I totally get that! That isn't really any different than saying "Your DD is so pretty... this one will probably be ugly."

HollyGolightly09

BigBadWolf12 said:

Maybe this is a UO? (I never think of them on Thursdays, darnit!)

At this point I'm happy to be the most pregnant in the summer...ask me again in August and maybe I'll change my mind, but there's no need for expensive maternity clothes like coats, boots because of swollen feet, heavy sweaters and pants, just a few sundresses and I'm good to go! Plus, by the time I'm working OFF the baby weight I can hide behind those big fluffy sweaters and coats for a while as I cuddle my baby  

I feel the same way... and I live in Alabama, so it will be plenty hot. Sun dress FTW! Plus, it's not like I work outside and will be forced in the heat all day. It doesn't hurt that I'm a teacher and will get a couple months off.

klcarr19

@BigBadWolf12 I totally agree! I am a teacher just like @HollyGolightly09 so I plan on being in gym shorts and tanks all summer long!