I've gotten a few of the "pregnant during summer, you're gonna be so miserable" comments. I am actually pretty stoked to be pregnant during summer. I skip the whole needing to establish a beach bod period. And by the time I have baby I'll have plenty of time to lose the baby weight before the following summer.
@klcarr19 I meant to also say I'm a teacher, so it will be nice having most of third tri off! I can sit in a lake or pool if it gets too hot!
TTGP history (*TW*):
Started TTC Oct 2015 BFP #1 June 2016: EDD 16 March 2017, MC July 2016 Re-started TTC Aug 2016 Started IF testing Nov 2016 Spontaneous BFP #2 January 2017: Rainbow Baby Boy September 2017 BFP #3 November 2018: Baby #2 expected August 2019
OH HOW DID I FORGET! My boss when I told him I was pregnant he laughed and asked if it was an accident then said you know how babies get here right? WTF I work at a hospital we are suppose to at least pretend to be professional
I have gotten the "Are you sure there aren't two or three in there?" as well as "You don't look pregnant enough to be half way through" and "Look how big you are getting!" All lovely comments from my coworkers. Or my favorite "It was planned right? You know they have ways of preventing accidents." I think people lack filters when it comes to pregnant women.
Lots of people say how miserable I will be because of being pregnant in the summer. I am happy to be most pregnant over the summer. I have the perfect excuse to be in comfy sun dresses or shorts and to relax with some delicious tea on my porch. No bikini body judgement / expectations. Plus with the amount of time I will be taking leave, I will get to enjoy spending the holidays with my little one.
Oh where to start... I get quite a bit "you know how that happens right?" Then there is "Are you catholic?" "You should get cable" and of course "Is this going to be your last one?" People call me anything from crazy to a saint. Some people count my children on their fingers and then lose the ability to close their mouth when they see I have another in my belly When I was pregnant with my 4th a group of teenagers threw condoms at me in the store. And the most recent and maybe the most horrifying, a man yelled across the restraunt to my husband, in front of my children "You should teach your b!÷(h to swallow"
And the most recent and maybe the most horrifying, a man yelled across the restraunt to my husband, in front of my children "You should teach your b!÷(h to swallow"
What?!? That is unconscionable. What is wrong with people?! I can't even wrap my kind around what would cause someone to yell something so vulgar, especially in front of children!
Okay so I like this thread and I've got to vent because you might not believe some of this - Some of these things posted already are almost unbelievable - but people can be extremely rude or completely thoughtless.
I've gotten the summertime comments - third trimester starts June 14th for me. About how it will be unbearable.
But the newest ones I'm getting warn mostly of difficult births. One lady apparently was in there 3 days with labor and burst all the blood vessels in her eyes, they were all bloody - according to my MIL - she saw her when she gave birth in the same semi private room to my fiance. She left but the other poor woman was still in labor.
I've gotten worse stories too about births that were difficult...probably too horrible to post here.
Oh and let's not forget the other comments- including the extremely dumb comments about why miscarriage is necessary - according to them because the women that have miscarriages are not meant to have children so they'll just keep miscarrying (I had a previous loss at 11 weeks, that was 6 years ago). That the adage of if you're meant to carry you'll carry, and how somehow that makes you a better or more of a woman. This is total bs of course but people believe it unfortunately.
Not to mention the amount of disbelief/ shock I get when I even mention I'm pregnant... I'm a bigger gal and it doesn't really show that much even at almost 6 months. Also I'm in a wheelchair most of the time, being physically disabled. The stigma/discrimination is ridiculous against disabled parents. People ask me when they first meet me to basically think of giving my daughter up for adoption
- like would you or should you ask that of anyone? Especially almost a perfect stranger?
My fiance isn't disabled and we're both perfectly capable (with modifications) to raise a child. It's unbelievable what some people say women who are pregnant.
It is my firm belief, that manners and etiquette needs to be a mandatory class in school, and these people are just proving my point. Although, I'm not sure if classes would help some if these stupid people.
And the most recent and maybe the most horrifying, a man yelled across the restraunt to my husband, in front of my children "You should teach your b!÷(h to swallow"
That is horrifying. So sorry that asshat said that to you. He should have been booted from the restaurant.
Haha, I'm not going to lie- summer pregnancy is miserable. Here's a great mental image for everyone: I was 7 months pregnant by the end of August (in miserably humid Baltimore) with DS. Most days, I came home, and stripped to a tank top and undies. Then I grabbed ice pops and threw myself onto the most convenient chair/ couch and died for a couple hours. Even with central A/C, it was brutal. I also had to walk across campus at work every day, which made it worse.
I'm tall, and didn't really look pregnant until 28+w with DS. I got so many comments, even to the end, about how small my bump was. It really started to bother me, partly bc pregnancy seems to give everyone the right to comment on a woman's body with impunity, and partly bc it was damn obvious I was pregnant! I really wasn't that small at the end, haha. - Labor horror stories, from people I had only met once, or never before. - All the side eye I get for having two kids under two. No, I don't care that we'll have two in diapers, and yes it won't be easy. But having two kids in general isn't easy, so why does it matter? DS will be 21m when this one is born. And honestly, not that it's anyone's damn business, but I'm going to be 34 when this baby is born. I didn't want to deal with AMA related stuff. I'm really glad we waited so long to have kids, because DH and I did a lot of stuff we wouldn't have done otherwise.
@Seapb I'm very sorry that you have encountered such ignorant and hurtful comments, especially about your loss and your physical disability. These people are so incredibly wrong.
It really started to bother me, partly bc pregnancy seems to give everyone the right to comment on a woman's body with impunity, and partly bc it was damn obvious I was pregnant! I really wasn't that small at the end, haha.
I just got back from a week with family and my head may literally explode. It frustrates me so much how people have to comment about my body, and how they feel like it's totally appropriate to do so when conventionally for every other women you just don't say those things.
Also, the number of times my sister and BIL had to urge to tell me - you have "xxx" to look forward to or "this is what having kids is like" while their 2.5 year old is being a terror. Gee thanks, but pretty sure we can figure shit out and raise our kids how we want.
ANOTHER thing that is driving me insane: "Wow, Connor (our babies' name) sure is hungry", EVERY TIME I EAT OR HAVE A SNACK! I wanted to punch someone. Yeah I'm hungry - ME, the human growing a child, so shut it.
I have so much stress after this week. Seriously love my family, but oh. my. god. Opinions. There are just so many more once you are pregnant.
*end rant*
also @Seapb that really sucks people feel the need to be so rude and hurtful
This post has turned me into a hormonal pregnant lady that wants to find all these people and punch them in the face... I forgot a big one I got at disney last weekend...
we live about 6 miles away so we just got for a few hours every once in a while. We take our double stroller because I am getting DD used to the bench and the seats prior to baby. So we are watching the parade and my husband was holding our daughter and I turned to say something to him and the lady next to me goes to her spouse "My god, she has a double stroller and she is pregnant? Some people just don't have self control." I wasn't at my finest that day and I leaned over and said "yes God forbid people have two children they can afford."
Needless to say the lady grabbed her four kids (insert crazy eye roll I almost gave but refrained because I was taking the high road) and walked away when she realized she was overheard and she was embarrassed.
I normally don't say anything so this was a bit crazy for me to do. #preggohormoneswon
Ughhh...I keep getting "you don't even look pregnant!" Well. I am 5'11" and there is indeed a baby in there. I have no control over how I look. Also my cousin (her baby is less than 2 months old) has started giving me baby advice. She found out we are having a boy which is what she had and had to go into detail that you should make sure to cover the pens during diaper changes or else you could get peed on. I mean, is that not common sense? And/Or in every movie involving a baby?
I'm sure I'll be back to add more, and this has been mentioned on plenty of threads here, but we've probably all heard already "oh my god, it's going to be so hot in the summer, you're going to be miserable." No shit. Summer is hot. There's no such thing as scheduling your pregnancy for perfect weather.
@MrsVP614 We moved to a Florida in december from Central Illinois and everyone I have run into was like "whoa! Being pregnant your first summer down here is brave." Or "well you sure didn't plan that out right." It's called air conditioning... calm your selves. Major eye roll!
It's my last summer here in FL....wanted it to be one to remember. lol.
@labby18 haha. I love getting told on the daily that it was just terrible timing... I for one am glad for two months I can be home with my toes up during the hardest part of the pregnancy AND I start work right when I want time to go quickly. But yes... brutal heat in summer won't be fun but way to go out with a bang!
I made a post about this in Team Green, but at my A/S Friday, the woman checking my vitals pissed me off. She acted like I was a monster for not finding out my child's sex. Then when she asked about names, I explained that we're coming up with a few options we like and will decide once we meet the baby. That's our approach, and I also don't share those name options with most people because I don't want to hear their opinions. She said "no, you'll give your baby a complex if they don't have a name right away. That baby needs a name before it's here." WTAF?
I haven't gotten anything that bad, but I've also been getting flak for being team green. Our anatomy scan is today and people keep saying "well now you can start planning!"
Um no. I started planning for this one when we got all neutral stuff for our first one three years ago. The only information you get at an US that could affect "planning" is how many are in there and whether there is a serious condition to take into account. Everything else is really is just a preference on colour. Stop with the judgy tone and implications that this baby isn't getting the same preparation because we don't know the sex. Not as extreme as @MrsVP614's experience but I get it ALL the time.
I'm also PGAL so I think it really bugs me when people are all "ooh the gender scan" and I'm just concerned that my baby is healthy and will actually get here this time. [end rant]
ETA: that's not to say that anyone who isn't team green or isn't pgal isn't concerned about their baby, but that's just the current state of my own head. Read that over and it sounded a little judgy
@MyNamesTaken It also irritates me when people call the AS the gender scan. As if that is the sole purpose for that particular u/s.
@msashley2010 and @mynamestaken FFMC: I used to think that's all it was! It was welllllll into my time on TB that I realised a/s wasn't just about the male/female anatomy.... people only ever post "it's a GIRL/BOY" not "omg, (s)he has two kidneys, 10 fingers and toes, and a four chamber heart!" (unless there's a potential problem, then it sometimes got mentioned, but I figured it was something they 'noticed' not something they were 'looking for') yikes
TTGP history (*TW*):
Started TTC Oct 2015 BFP #1 June 2016: EDD 16 March 2017, MC July 2016 Re-started TTC Aug 2016 Started IF testing Nov 2016 Spontaneous BFP #2 January 2017: Rainbow Baby Boy September 2017 BFP #3 November 2018: Baby #2 expected August 2019
@MyNamesTaken It also irritates me when people call the AS the gender scan. As if that is the sole purpose for that particular u/s.
@msashley2010 and @mynamestaken FFMC: I used to think that's all it was! It was welllllll into my time on TB that I realised a/s wasn't just about the male/female anatomy.... people only ever post "it's a GIRL/BOY" not "omg, (s)he has two kidneys, 10 fingers and toes, and a four chamber heart!" (unless there's a potential problem, then it sometimes got mentioned, but I figured it was something they 'noticed' not something they were 'looking for') yikes
One of my friends kept referencing an ultrasound she was going to have and I asked if it was her anatomy scan and she said no it's my gender ultrasound. She's on her second kid.. she should kind of know lol.
@MyNamesTaken It also irritates me when people call the AS the gender scan. As if that is the sole purpose for that particular u/s.
@msashley2010 and @mynamestaken FFMC: I used to think that's all it was! It was welllllll into my time on TB that I realised a/s wasn't just about the male/female anatomy.... people only ever post "it's a GIRL/BOY" not "omg, (s)he has two kidneys, 10 fingers and toes, and a four chamber heart!" (unless there's a potential problem, then it sometimes got mentioned, but I figured it was something they 'noticed' not something they were 'looking for') yikes
One of my friends kept referencing an ultrasound she was going to have and I asked if it was her anatomy scan and she said no it's my gender ultrasound. She's on her second kid.. she should kind of know lol.
Wow, *eyeroll*. I was really nervous about my AS because I hadn't had any of the other tests (NT test, quad screen, etc.). I'm still waiting to hear results back, but from what I could tell and the reactions of the tect, everything looked pretty normal.
Someone recently told me that dogs are so much harder to take care of than kids. I'm on my second pregnancy so I know how hard a baby is to take care of but I've never had a dog.... I was shocked by the statement bc I refuse to believe that it could be true but then again I can't speak on dog ownership difficulties. The person who said this does not have kids.
Sooo... for you ladies that have dogs and kids, which is harder????
@mrsmarygs we haven't done any testing either, so I'm also nervous for our AS. But I will send lots of positive thoughts and prayers your way for good news @labby18 I don't understand why people argue when you try to tell them things like that lol, yeah I just made up the term anatomy scan. Totally made that up myself.
Someone recently told me that dogs are so much harder to take care of than kids. I'm on my second pregnancy so I know how hard a baby is to take care of but I've never had a dog.... I was shocked by the statement bc I refuse to believe that it could be true but then again I can't speak on dog ownership difficulties. The person who said this does not have kids.
Sooo... for you ladies that have dogs and kids, which is harder????
Someone recently told me that dogs are so much harder to take care of than kids. I'm on my second pregnancy so I know how hard a baby is to take care of but I've never had a dog.... I was shocked by the statement bc I refuse to believe that it could be true but then again I can't speak on dog ownership difficulties. The person who said this does not have kids.
Sooo... for you ladies that have dogs and kids, which is harder????
Hi are you new? We've had this discussion already
Oops.. yes for this baby I'm new here. I will search for it but my phone sucks
@kgemkid Welcome to our forum! We have a Introductions thread pinned at the top, so that we can get to know you, and we also have a *Read this First* thread that will help you get accustomed to the flow of things around here. On mobile, the search bar is located at the very bottom of the page if you scroll all the way down (at least that's where it is on my phone).
@kgemkid Welcome to our forum! We have a Introductions thread pinned at the top, so that we can get to know you, and we also have a *Read this First* thread that will help you get accustomed to the flow of things around here. On mobile, the search bar is located at the very bottom of the page if you scroll all the way down (at least that's where it is on my phone).
Someone recently told me that dogs are so much harder to take care of than kids. I'm on my second pregnancy so I know how hard a baby is to take care of but I've never had a dog.... I was shocked by the statement bc I refuse to believe that it could be true but then again I can't speak on dog ownership difficulties. The person who said this does not have kids.
Sooo... for you ladies that have dogs and kids, which is harder????
I think exclamations like these should be taken with a grain of salt, lol. Especially considering that person does not have a child.
Someone recently told me that dogs are so much harder to take care of than kids. I'm on my second pregnancy so I know how hard a baby is to take care of but I've never had a dog.... I was shocked by the statement bc I refuse to believe that it could be true but then again I can't speak on dog ownership difficulties. The person who said this does not have kids.
Sooo... for you ladies that have dogs and kids, which is harder????
I think exclamations like these should be taken with a grain of salt, lol. Especially considering that person does not have a child.
It's so annoying that everything is a competition. Maybe she feels some insecurity about not having kids or needs to contribute something to kid-centric conversations?
I don't have dogs so I can't say what's easier but I suspect that the answer is dogs
@MyNamesTaken my dog doesn't talk back. He lays and sits down when I tell him to. He stays when I say stay. Has never chewed on or destroyed my stuff. Took like 2wks to potty train. I really don't get why people try to compare training pets to raising children. I mean they help in learning responsibility for another living being...but that's about it.
@kgemkid I have a rescue dog, and he's pretty darn challenging (he has back and dental issues, he's on antidepressants, we have a series of routines for everything from walks to leaving the house, ...), but my guess is that raising a child will still not be comparable. Haha. However, my husband and I do consider having a dog great communication training for us, and we've definitely learned some good lessons in unconditional love.
Re: Sh!t people Say to Pregnant Ladies
BFP #1 June 2016: EDD 16 March 2017, MC July 2016
Re-started TTC Aug 2016
Started IF testing Nov 2016
Spontaneous BFP #2 January 2017: Rainbow Baby Boy September 2017
BFP #3 November 2018: Baby #2 expected August 2019
Lots of people say how miserable I will be because of being pregnant in the summer. I am happy to be most pregnant over the summer. I have the perfect excuse to be in comfy sun dresses or shorts and to relax with some delicious tea on my porch. No bikini body judgement / expectations. Plus with the amount of time I will be taking leave, I will get to enjoy spending the holidays with my little one.
I get quite a bit "you know how that happens right?"
Then there is "Are you catholic?" "You should get cable" and of course "Is this going to be your last one?"
People call me anything from crazy to a saint. Some people count my children on their fingers and then lose the ability to close their mouth when they see I have another in my belly
When I was pregnant with my 4th a group of teenagers threw condoms at me in the store.
And the most recent and maybe the most horrifying, a man yelled across the restraunt to my husband, in front of my children "You should teach your b!÷(h to swallow"
I've gotten the summertime comments - third trimester starts June 14th for me. About how it will be unbearable.
But the newest ones I'm getting warn mostly of difficult births. One lady apparently was in there 3 days with labor and burst all the blood vessels in her eyes, they were all bloody - according to my MIL - she saw her when she gave birth in the same semi private room to my fiance. She left but the other poor woman was still in labor.
I've gotten worse stories too about births that were difficult...probably too horrible to post here.
Oh and let's not forget the other comments- including the extremely dumb comments about why miscarriage is necessary - according to them because the women that have miscarriages are not meant to have children so they'll just keep miscarrying (I had a previous loss at 11 weeks, that was 6 years ago). That the adage of if you're meant to carry you'll carry, and how somehow that makes you a better or more of a woman. This is total bs of course but people believe it unfortunately.
Not to mention the amount of disbelief/ shock I get when I even mention I'm pregnant... I'm a bigger gal and it doesn't really show that much even at almost 6 months. Also I'm in a wheelchair most of the time, being physically disabled. The stigma/discrimination is ridiculous against disabled parents. People ask me when they first meet me to basically think of giving my daughter up for adoption
- like would you or should you ask that of anyone? Especially almost a perfect stranger?
My fiance isn't disabled and we're both perfectly capable (with modifications) to raise a child. It's unbelievable what some people say women who are pregnant.
I'm tall, and didn't really look pregnant until 28+w with DS. I got so many comments, even to the end, about how small my bump was. It really started to bother me, partly bc pregnancy seems to give everyone the right to comment on a woman's body with impunity, and partly bc it was damn obvious I was pregnant! I really wasn't that small at the end, haha.
- Labor horror stories, from people I had only met once, or never before.
- All the side eye I get for having two kids under two. No, I don't care that we'll have two in diapers, and yes it won't be easy. But having two kids in general isn't easy, so why does it matter? DS will be 21m when this one is born. And honestly, not that it's anyone's damn business, but I'm going to be 34 when this baby is born. I didn't want to deal with AMA related stuff. I'm really glad we waited so long to have kids, because DH and I did a lot of stuff we wouldn't have done otherwise.
DS2: EDD- 09.08.17
Also, the number of times my sister and BIL had to urge to tell me - you have "xxx" to look forward to or "this is what having kids is like" while their 2.5 year old is being a terror. Gee thanks, but pretty sure we can figure shit out and raise our kids how we want.
ANOTHER thing that is driving me insane: "Wow, Connor (our babies' name) sure is hungry", EVERY TIME I EAT OR HAVE A SNACK! I wanted to punch someone. Yeah I'm hungry - ME, the human growing a child, so shut it.
I have so much stress after this week. Seriously love my family, but oh. my. god. Opinions. There are just so many more once you are pregnant.
*end rant*
also @Seapb that really sucks people feel the need to be so rude and hurtful
we live about 6 miles away so we just got for a few hours every once in a while. We take our double stroller because I am getting DD used to the bench and the seats prior to baby. So we are watching the parade and my husband was holding our daughter and I turned to say something to him and the lady next to me goes to her spouse "My god, she has a double stroller and she is pregnant? Some people just don't have self control." I wasn't at my finest that day and I leaned over and said "yes God forbid people have two children they can afford."
Needless to say the lady grabbed her four kids (insert crazy eye roll I almost gave but refrained because I was taking the high road) and walked away when she realized she was overheard and she was embarrassed.
I normally don't say anything so this was a bit crazy for me to do. #preggohormoneswon
"Honey you're just so much BIGGER at this stage than you were last time!"
....
So what you're saying is you just think I'm fat and have a potbelly...cool...
The only thing I get is "17 weeks, I can't believe you're not showing yet." "you dont have a bump yet." This has been going on since week 13.
Well. I am 5'11" and there is indeed a baby in there. I have no control over how I look.
Also my cousin (her baby is less than 2 months old) has started giving me baby advice. She found out we are having a boy which is what she had and had to go into detail that you should make sure to cover the pens during diaper changes or else you could get peed on. I mean, is that not common sense? And/Or in every movie involving a baby?
"Thanks grandpa, happy Easter."
WTAF?
Married: 10.15.16
DS BD: 8.20.17
TTC #2 1.1.19
BFP #2 7.3.19
EDD #2 3.13.20
Um no. I started planning for this one when we got all neutral stuff for our first one three years ago. The only information you get at an US that could affect "planning" is how many are in there and whether there is a serious condition to take into account. Everything else is really is just a preference on colour. Stop with the judgy tone and implications that this baby isn't getting the same preparation because we don't know the sex. Not as extreme as @MrsVP614's experience but I get it ALL the time.
I'm also PGAL so I think it really bugs me when people are all "ooh the gender scan" and I'm just concerned that my baby is healthy and will actually get here this time. [end rant]
ETA: that's not to say that anyone who isn't team green or isn't pgal isn't concerned about their baby, but that's just the current state of my own head. Read that over and it sounded a little judgy
@msashley2010 and @mynamestaken FFMC: I used to think that's all it was! It was welllllll into my time on TB that I realised a/s wasn't just about the male/female anatomy.... people only ever post "it's a GIRL/BOY" not "omg, (s)he has two kidneys, 10 fingers and toes, and a four chamber heart!" (unless there's a potential problem, then it sometimes got mentioned, but I figured it was something they 'noticed' not something they were 'looking for') yikes
BFP #1 June 2016: EDD 16 March 2017, MC July 2016
Re-started TTC Aug 2016
Started IF testing Nov 2016
Spontaneous BFP #2 January 2017: Rainbow Baby Boy September 2017
BFP #3 November 2018: Baby #2 expected August 2019
"Is that some new ultrasound? I thought you were finding out the gender?"
*eye roll* "mom, it is AN ULTRASOUND to check to anatomy of Baby, and by doing that people typically find out the sex"
"I've never heard it called that."
"That's what it's called"
AS IF I WOULD MAKE IT UP. This is grandbaby #6 for my parents.
Sooo... for you ladies that have dogs and kids, which is harder????
@labby18 I don't understand why people argue when you try to tell them things like that lol, yeah I just made up the term anatomy scan. Totally made that up myself.
On mobile, the search bar is located at the very bottom of the page if you scroll all the way down (at least that's where it is on my phone).
I don't have dogs so I can't say what's easier but I suspect that the answer is dogs