I'm not sure how to word this question but when did you feel somewhat like yourself again? I know becoming a parent changes you so it's not like you go back to being the exact same person but right now with the belly and the aches and pains, the anxieties, etc. it's hard to imagine when/if I'll ever feel like I have me back.
I physically felt like myself after 2 weeks or so, but 2-3 months to feel like my life hadn't just been turned upside down and that we weren't in survival mode. It's hard to suddenly have a helpless being depending on you 24/7!
I might go against the norm here and say that becoming a mom didn't really change me as a person all that much. I still don't identify with the whole "mom scene" and none of my best friends are moms. I love being a mom, but I don't like most "mom things".
Ok, everyone talking about hormones and instincts has me freaked out! Logically, I know adoptive parents adapt, but I'm terrified I won't know what to do...I don't have hormones or instinct to back me up!
I've heard that you can have contractions/be in labor for day or even weeks. What is that like? Are you on bed rest? Can you go in and get induced if you can't take the pain? I am deathly afraid of going way past my due date and bring in labor forever.
My friend was in labor for 3 days. Her water broke, she went to the hospital, but nothing was really happening so she spent the first day at home. She labored at the hospital day 2. Got the epidural so she could sleep that night and she was born the next day. I don't know any details really, but we all waited a long time for baby news. Lol
@krex-2 some people who give birth don't have that automatic connection either. I will say the majority of AP's I know said they had that connection right away!!!
My sister in law was in labor from a Saturday to Monday morning. She went to the hospital Saturday night, but they sent her home. She went back in Sunday night and stayed. I don't think it was a fun weekend for them, but it wasn't weeks.
I've been told that recovery is a lot harder after your second delivery and that it also takes a lot longer to feel back to normal and get the pregnancy weight off. Is there any truth to this? Obviously every woman is different, but a couple of my mom friends have all told me the same thing, so I just want to be prepared.
I've been told that recovery is a lot harder after your second delivery and that it also takes a lot longer to feel back to normal and get the pregnancy weight off. Is there any truth to this? Obviously every woman is different, but a couple of my mom friends have all told me the same thing, so I just want to be prepared.
I definitely do not think my second or third delivery was harder to recover from than my first, mainly because 1) I had less tearing, and 2) because I knew what to expect. I do think that the uterine contractions when nursing and after birth were significantly more uncomfortable than the first. Now I can't attest to pregnancy weight. I still haven't lost it from my first. I did find that I lost weight easier (thank you, GD and EPing), but once I stopped EPing I put it all back on.
@Stankonia2014 ok that makes sense. I'm not really as concerned with the weight loss part as I am about recovering from delivery and feeling back to normal. Recovering from my first was pretty rough due to tearing, but I remember feeling back to normal after about 2 weeks or so. Hopefully it won't be too bad this time around.
Has anyone started counting calories pretty quickly after giving birth? What range were you eating in to maintain milk supply but also lose? I was down 20lbs last Wednesday and have about 18 more to go to be back to prepregnancy. I have 10-14 more weeks until I go back to work depending on when she gets out of the nicu and I can tell you my uniforms don't have any stretch to them and need to get the rest of this weight off quickly.
@krex-2 I would have a couple different bottle options available to see which your baby prefers. I had registered for a ton of avent bottles and luckily only opened one of the smaller boxes. My son refused to drink BM out of them, and after trying at least two other brands, we landed on Dr. Browns. I was so glad that I hadn't unpackaged all the avent bottles and was able to return them on my registry and swap for the brand he liked.
@krex-2 don't underestimate the power of love on your body's own chemistry. When you lay eyes on that baby of yours, your instincts will come, your hormones will change. You'll do great!
I've heard that you can have contractions/be in labor for days or even weeks. What is that like? Are you on bed rest? Can you go in and get induced if you can't take the pain? I am deathly afraid of going way past my due date and being in labor forever.
With my second for 2 weeks before my due date I would have days of contractions. I could walk through them but they would be like 5-8 min apart all.day.long. I kept thinking it might be it... And then after about 24 hours they would stop. Only to start up again a couple days later. It was a mental torture. But my active labor was fast and easy.
Mom to Madison- 5 and Lillian 2....and now surprise baby #3!
Late to the party, but wanted to quickly comment on something Re: Umbilical cords. With DS, no problems. With DD, I thought her umbilical cord stump was infected. I freaked out because I saw what looked like puss and a little bleeding. I immediately phoned the pediatrician. Turns out DD had (well... still has) an umbilical cord hernia which I learned is common enough that it isn't a major concern. What I thought was puss was part of the cord that was getting pushed up and out because the of the hernia. Always important to have the doctor look, but don't immediately jump to worst case scenarios as I did. Dr Google = bad!
@Stankonia2014 the app I have has you click the button when a contraction starts and when it stops. It tracks the length of the contraction itself as well as the time between them so you know when you're at 5-5-1 or whatever your hospital's standard for admission is.
@Stankonia2014, I use the full term ap and I think it does the same as delujm0's.
@kcrocetto27, usually the contractions that you have early on are a bit different and more tolerable than what you are picturing at the end. With DD, I was having consistent contractions and went in to the hospital for "false labor". I left 2cm dialated. I spent another 10 days or so making up to 5cm and then they finally decided to induce me because I was stuck there for so long. I was uncomfortable, but it was tolerable. With DS, I started with preterm labor early on. I think my initial hospital stay was at 26 weeks. I was having contractions about two minutes apart and they had to intervene to stop it. I spent the rest of the pregnancy in and out of the hospital and doing twice daily monitoring with an in-home type of contraction/ nst machine. It was annoying, but again tolerable. Long story short, if you start off early, you won't necessarily be in constant, terrible pain!
Has anyone started counting calories pretty quickly after giving birth? What range were you eating in to maintain milk supply but also lose? I was down 20lbs last Wednesday and have about 18 more to go to be back to prepregnancy. I have 10-14 more weeks until I go back to work depending on when she gets out of the nicu and I can tell you my uniforms don't have any stretch to them and need to get the rest of this weight off quickly.
If you are nursing, it's not usually advised to count calories. It is better to focus on a healthy and well balanced diet, especially in the newborn days when baby's weight gain is really important.
Ok, everyone talking about hormones and instincts has me freaked out! Logically, I know adoptive parents adapt, but I'm terrified I won't know what to do...I don't have hormones or instinct to back me up!
Hormones did not help me at all. As DH was putting dd into her carseat at the hospital, he like at me and said, "who is letting us take a baby home? We don't know what we're doing!" We managed. She's now 20mos, and I can't imagine life without her. Bonding can sometimes take a long time, even for some biological moms, but it will come.
So late in pregnancy and/or when you're in labor and they're doing cervical checks, do/can they use lube? I had an internal exam without lube once. It was some of the worst pain I've ever felt, it hurt for awhile, and I seriously felt a bit violated afterward.
Who's doing kick counts on an app? Do you do it the same time everyday? Is it really necessary? I feel like I would know if something about the way she was moving changed.
@lmudra I don't count kicks. If I notice he isn't moving as much, then I pay attention, but he's been active enough that I have not had to worry about it.
Who's doing kick counts on an app? Do you do it the same time everyday? Is it really necessary? I feel like I would know if something about the way she was moving changed.
I have one, but I haven't used it. My midwife said it's not really necessary unless you are concerned about a lack of movement for the majority of a day or so. I'm with you, it's pretty obvious to me that baby wakes up and moves every couple hours so it would be pretty noticeable if that changed.
@Stankonia2014 I use the app called "full term". It's very user friendly. You can record contractions, kick counts, your weight, and there is a reference tab that is nice for informational purposes. It's free if you have an Iphone.
Who's doing kick counts on an app? Do you do it the same time everyday? Is it really necessary? I feel like I would know if something about the way she was moving changed.
I don't do kick counts on my phone, but I do try to get 5 kicks in an hour. I feel like sometimes, especially on weekends, I'm not as aware of his movement, so the kick counts help me. I count in the morning and evening.
@Stankonia2014 I also use the full term app. I've used it for kick counts once or twice. I don't do it every day since she normally moves A LOT and I would notice if she is less active. Today she is being lazy so I will probably use it today. I also used the contraction timer to see how many BH I was having an hour since the nurse the other day told me to. It's very easy to use and free on iphone like others have said!
Thank you for asking this @Stankonia2014. I would have been timing from the end of one to the beginning of the next....clearly I wasn't paying attention during that part of our childbirth class.
Not sure if this is the best thread for this but oh well- DH and I have a an insane, high pressure schedule and there is just no way we can make it to childbirth classes, either in person or online. Literally we only have time to listen to DVDs/podcasts. Does anyone have a good eBook or podcast or something that might be a couple hours on childbirth preparation that would be good for DH? I'm in the field so the "what to expect" isn't necessary for me (although the labor pain management is another thing since I'm FTM, and I've found some good programs on that) but I feel like I'm leaving DH in the dark. Any suggestions??
Me: 36 DH: 37 Married May 2013
TTC #1: April 2016 (Mirena removed March 2016 after 2.5 years)a BFP #1: 10/14/16 - DD born 6/2017 TTC #2 November 2018 (Mirena removed October 2018 after 1 year) BFP #2 9/11/19 - EDD 5/24/20 - DD born 5/2020 TTC #3 May 2022 (Mirena removed after almost 2 years) BFP #3 11/24/23 - EDD 7/30/24
@lmudra I also rarely intentionally count kicks on my app unless I feel she's been a bit quiet. I started out counting them when the docs told me I should be and found it was more stressful for me than helpful. I've gotten a lot more out of just noticing her patterns.
I don't do kick counts. Baby is very active most of the time, but if he slows down I'll start counting. He was a little lazy the day and the day after I got my TDAP (I don't know if it's related, but I thought it was interesting - I was also lazy and tired those two days with a painful/red/swollen arm), but then went right back to being super active.
Are you talking right now? Or post partum? For now, as long as your water hasn't broken, you should be good to go. I pretty much spent my last week of pregnancy in a pool with DD. It helped when my ankles got puffy.
For post partum, since you aren't supposed to use a tampon for (I think) 6 weeks, you shouldn't swim until you stop bleeding.
Sooo....I'm all for skin-to-skin and trying to nurse right away and bonding with baby right after birth, but I'm nervous about the baby being put on my chest all slimy and bloody. Is that not gross to anyone else? Am I a bad mom if I ask them to clean the baby first? If I let them put the slimy, bloody baby on me, how long before we both get cleaned up?
Sooo....I'm all for skin-to-skin and trying to nurse right away and bonding with baby right after birth, but I'm nervous about the baby being put on my chest all slimy and bloody. Is that not gross to anyone else? Am I a bad mom if I ask them to clean the baby first? If I let them put the slimy, bloody baby on me, how long before we both get cleaned up?
Generally they're cleaning the baby up as they're placed on your chest. Believe it or not, babies aren't really slimy or bloody, they have vernix on their skin which is a thick, white substance, that is usually rubbed off or rubbed in.
Baby usually gets a bath within the first 24-48 hours.
Personally, in that moment immediately after birth, I'm not really worried about bodily fluids, I just want my baby.
@kyreno11, They'll wipe him off first so it won't be that noticeable. Our hospital doesn't do baths until you move from L&D to Mother-Baby (I too wanted my baby cleaned up ASAP) but we ended up having a lot of visitors in L&D because Mother-Baby was full so at that point I did ask the nurse to clean the baby up a little more and wrap her in a special blanket and hat and she was happy to do that. I wouldn't worry about it though, you'll be so excited to hold that new baby you won't care.
ETA: As for yourself, they clean you up pretty well right after the birth and you just pull your blankets up and can't see anything down below (I'm a germaphobe and a private person and had no problem having visitors in the room about 2-3 hours after birth). I had an epidural and was able to get up and use the bathroom (with the help of a nurse) as soon as it wore off (maybe a couple hours?). I did purchase one of those pretty hospital gowns (Gownies on Amazon) and I put that on the first time I got up after birth to feel fresh for visitors.(Highly recommend!) My baby was born in the afternoon and I was able to shower first thing the next morning and put on my own pjs. I didn't have the energy for hair or makeup or anything, but it made me feel like myself again. Sorry if this was TMI.
Has anyone started counting calories pretty quickly after giving birth? What range were you eating in to maintain milk supply but also lose? I was down 20lbs last Wednesday and have about 18 more to go to be back to prepregnancy. I have 10-14 more weeks until I go back to work depending on when she gets out of the nicu and I can tell you my uniforms don't have any stretch to them and need to get the rest of this weight off quickly.
That sounds like a pretty harsh timeline. You're going through so much with Adeline's early arrival and her NICU stay, it might be too much pressure to also lose all the weight. You never know, your body may bounce back quickly, but if it doesn't, please be kind to yourself, you can always size up in uniforms. Also, it does take a while for your milk supply to be established so you definitely don't want to cut too many calories up front. And be sure not to exercise until you have your doctor's okay. Good luck!
@mamaelle27 I think I will get a gownie! STM's: What did you wear after gowns? I can't figure out what might be comfortable and/or fit. I was thinking maternity leggings and some sort of t shirt, even though it will be the end of June (hopefully) thinking the hospital and car ride home will be air conditioned. Do I really need a robe?
@graceriesz I stayed in gowns until we went home from the hospital - wasn't there that long, and my parents were the only visitors. It was March, so I was in maternity yoga pants and nursing tanks / hoodies. I liked that the yoga pants didn't have the super high waists (since you don't really have the belly to hold it up, but do need the non-tight waistbands for a while). I also have lots of pics where I'm in a robe - so easy for nursing!
Re: The big stupid questions thread
I might go against the norm here and say that becoming a mom didn't really change me as a person all that much. I still don't identify with the whole "mom scene" and none of my best friends are moms. I love being a mom, but I don't like most "mom things".
With my second for 2 weeks before my due date I would have days of contractions. I could walk through them but they would be like 5-8 min apart all.day.long. I kept thinking it might be it... And then after about 24 hours they would stop. Only to start up again a couple days later. It was a mental torture. But my active labor was fast and easy.
Mom to Madison- 5 and Lillian 2....and now surprise baby #3!
@kcrocetto27, usually the contractions that you have early on are a bit different and more tolerable than what you are picturing at the end. With DD, I was having consistent contractions and went in to the hospital for "false labor". I left 2cm dialated. I spent another 10 days or so making up to 5cm and then they finally decided to induce me because I was stuck there for so long. I was uncomfortable, but it was tolerable. With DS, I started with preterm labor early on. I think my initial hospital stay was at 26 weeks. I was having contractions about two minutes apart and they had to intervene to stop it. I spent the rest of the pregnancy in and out of the hospital and doing twice daily monitoring with an in-home type of contraction/ nst machine. It was annoying, but again tolerable.
Long story short, if you start off early, you won't necessarily be in constant, terrible pain!
BFP #1 9/1999. DD Born 6/7/2000
BFP #2 10/2011. EDD 7/11/12. MMC discovered 11/2/11. D&C 11/4/11.
DX PCOS 10/2012.
BFP#3 1/11/13. DS Born 9/17/2013
BFP#4 9/30/17. Grow baby grow!
~Everyone Welcome~
If you are nursing, it's not usually advised to count calories. It is better to focus on a healthy and well balanced diet, especially in the newborn days when baby's weight gain is really important.
Hormones did not help me at all. As DH was putting dd into her carseat at the hospital, he like at me and said, "who is letting us take a baby home? We don't know what we're doing!" We managed. She's now 20mos, and I can't imagine life without her. Bonding can sometimes take a long time, even for some biological moms, but it will come.
Thanks girls, I do have the Full Term app.
Married May 2013
BFP #1: 10/14/16 - DD born 6/2017
TTC #2 November 2018 (Mirena removed October 2018 after 1 year)
BFP #2 9/11/19 - EDD 5/24/20 - DD born 5/2020
TTC #3 May 2022 (Mirena removed after almost 2 years)
BFP #3 11/24/23 - EDD 7/30/24
For post partum, since you aren't supposed to use a tampon for (I think) 6 weeks, you shouldn't swim until you stop bleeding.
Baby usually gets a bath within the first 24-48 hours.
Personally, in that moment immediately after birth, I'm not really worried about bodily fluids, I just want my baby.
ETA: As for yourself, they clean you up pretty well right after the birth and you just pull your blankets up and can't see anything down below (I'm a germaphobe and a private person and had no problem having visitors in the room about 2-3 hours after birth). I had an epidural and was able to get up and use the bathroom (with the help of a nurse) as soon as it wore off (maybe a couple hours?). I did purchase one of those pretty hospital gowns (Gownies on Amazon) and I put that on the first time I got up after birth to feel fresh for visitors.(Highly recommend!) My baby was born in the afternoon and I was able to shower first thing the next morning and put on my own pjs. I didn't have the energy for hair or makeup or anything, but it made me feel like myself again. Sorry if this was TMI.
BFP #1 6/13 DD 3/14
Mirena 10/14-5/16
BFP #2 9/2/16, CP confirmed 9/8/16
BFP #3 10/10/16 EDD 6/22/17