Weekly Randoms 4/10

jsmai

@tigerfish227 Oh no!!! I'm glad your baby is a little more comfortable now but I'm so sorry you are going through that. 

desoky01

Thinking of you @tigerfish227! 

MrsMaryK2016

@tigerfish227 I've also done the overnight stay with LO and it really is tough. Just know you did the right thing for baby. I hope everything is ok!

Ladybug2821

@tigerfish227 Hope LO is feeling better soon.

SandNStarsNJ

Thoughts and prays to you @tigerfish227

tigerfish227

Thanks ladies. We are probably looking at another night. My mom stayed with me last night(she's a nurse) and she doesn't think he's made enough progress yet to come off the oxygen. I feel helpless. All I can do is hold him and try to make sure he's comfortable. They won't let me feed him because of the oxygen setup so I'm pumping in the meantime. This really sucks! I'm so scared for my little man. He's improved from last night but not enough to feel safe yet. 

rspalding001

I hope you get out of there soon and everyone is ok! @tigerfish227

hoosiermama-2

@tigerfish227 Thinking of you & LO. Hope things get better very soon.


Thanks, everyone, for the congrats(es??).  I think I'm still 50/50 on sadness and excitement.
@kvruns Unfortunately, it's back to an office park for me I was hoping to go downtown with my move but this offer was the best... the only real con is the location! I'm going to miss being somewhere so walkable.

RhodaMorgenstern

@tigerfish227 sending you good juju. I can only imagine how tough this must be.

MrsMaryK2016

tigerfish227 said:

Thanks ladies. We are probably looking at another night. My mom stayed with me last night(she's a nurse) and she doesn't think he's made enough progress yet to come off the oxygen. I feel helpless. All I can do is hold him and try to make sure he's comfortable. They won't let me feed him because of the oxygen setup so I'm pumping in the meantime. This really sucks! I'm so scared for my little man. He's improved from last night but not enough to feel safe yet. 

What did they say is wrong? Or do you know yet?

kvruns

you know you've looked like crap at work for way too long when someone goes "omg you actually had time to do your hair this morning, you look great".  She said it as a compliment, and she's also a FTM of a baby under 1. Although she has awesome hair and always looks put together unlike me

desoky01

I thought things were going better but H was in a horrible mood last night and this morning. I texted him at work trying to check in and he's struggling really badly. I don't fully understand, but I'm feeling awful now. With our opposite shifts things have been hard, and we don't get time to do anything together. I'm stuck in the back room crying at work trying to get it together when all I want to do is go home and figure out my life and my marriage. Knowing a baby will change life and living that change is so different. I love our son and don't regret having him for a second, but this transition is so very hard. I'm terrified that I'm going to lose everything. 

hoosiermama-2

My heart hurts for ya, @desoky01. I'm sorry things are rough right now and I hope hard that they smooth out. I wish i had something more helpful to say, but I am thinking of you. Hugs

SandNStarsNJ

I'm sorry @desoky01. The first 6 months can really change your life and relationship. It does get easier or we just adjust as the baby's dependency dwindles if that gives you any optimism. Though I hate that I just typed "gets easier" because that's not really what I mean. I hope you find a happy/feel good place to pull you through the day. Sending creepy internet hugs. 

LO kicked the 101 degree fever as of this morning with only one dose of Tylenol almost 12 hours earlier. He is back to getting up every 3 hours and is still congested which is leading me to believe he's just a crappy teether. I hope he's fever free when I get home today!

kvruns

@desoky01 sorry to hear you are struggling. As someone on the verge of divorce, with a small light at the end of the tunnel, I feel for you. I read something recently with one liners from new dads about how their relationships changed and one said something along the lines of a weak relationship not being able to handle the new baby change. In my case that is exactly what happened, things weren't great before the baby was born so then it intensified (other things I never could have predicted happened as well but at the end of the marriage not being great didn't help either). I would definitely recommend counseling if you guys are open to it. Those hard conversations are tough to have and I found they were easier to have in a counseling session even though the outcome was still bad (as in having it in the therapist office didn't change anything but it was easier to bring up tough topics). Feel free to PM me if you want, I'm happy to share details of our struggles in case it would help. 

kristah2

@desoky01 sorry that you're going through such a hard time I wish there was something more I could say. Sending positive thoughts. 

@tigerfish227 keep us updated. Sending lots of positive thoughts. 

@SandNStarsNJ yay for getting the fever under control! Hope he's feeling better!

Ladybug2821

@desoky01 I completely understand what you are going through and hope things will work out. H and I are also on opposite schedules and it has definitely been hard on him taking care of a baby all day while I'm at work. He was also used to getting my undivided attention for 16 years and at times doesn't handle it well that S now receives that.  He understands S needs it but basically wants me to do more in regards to him. Things really do change. Is there anyone that can watch the baby so you can go out together?  I really feel like we just needed some alone time together and that has helped. Even if it's just for a couple hours. 

desoky01

Thanks everyone. We had a few minutes to talk and hug today before he rushed off to work and it helped some. Mostly I think he's experiencing depression and some anxiety. He's due for scans soon to make sure his cancer is still in remission, and he's feeling frustrated that he still has to deal with it and that the tests and scans and the thought of cancer won't just go away. He's back at work but on light duty because of his ACL and he is sick of sitting around all day not being able to do much at work. Plus no real free time at home, since when he's here he's taking care of LO (which he loves, but he misses free time to do hobbies and such). We're just having a tough time transitioning, and it doesn't help to have all this extra piled on top. He mentioned getting a referral or looking into medication for the depression, since hes not sure he'll follow through talking with a counselor. Hopefully we can talk more on our time together this weekend. Sorry if any typos, phone typing with LO grabbing for my phone. 

SandNStarsNJ

That is A LOT to tackle @desoky01. You are a strong lady!

SandNStarsNJ

So LO half heartedly nursed at 5pm and has since passed out after his bedtime routine minus the feeding. Has anyone's LO dropped their before bed feeding? Or should I wait with bated breath on his waking up and having to restart bedtime? Our first NEVER dropped the before bed feeding, ever. 

Megz1902

@SandNStarsNJ could just be he is extra tired and sleep won out over hunger? It seems early for them to be dropping a feeding. 

SandNStarsNJ

Well I guess I should have been patient. After a 5oz pump he promptly woke, hungry. Here's hoping there's something left in there for him!

tigerfish227

@MrsMaryK2016 they diagnosed him with bronchiolitis (RSV and Flu swabs were both negative). At this point we are on a vapotherm (basically forced oxygen with warm mist humidifier) and an IV. This afternoon they put a feeding tube down his nose too. He managed to yank it out and they had to do it again. Second try they got it taped a lot more solidly and it's been fine all afternoon/evening now.

I'm exhausted and ready to be done with this whole ordeal. DH should be getting back here soon and I'm going to go home and shower. I just need a breather. I feel incredibly guilty for wanting to leave but I've been stuck in this room all day and I am feeling a bit restless watching my baby suffer. I'm sure I'll feel better once I get back.

MrsMaryK2016

Oh my lord @tigerfish227! The poor little guy and mama. I'm so sorry to hear he's so sick. The feeding tube must have been terrible to watch but at least he's getting the nourishment he needs. Go home, take a shower and a breather and don't feel too bad about it. You need a mental break in order to stay strong for your family. Hugs to you and your little guy. 

rspalding001

@tigerfish227 at least you have a diagnosis. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Big hugs!

m6agua

@tigerfish227 Glad they could get a diagnosis. I hope he gets better soon!

Ladybug2821

This question is for the moms that don't send their LO to a daycare facility but to an in home daycare or have someone watching them at a house. Do you feel comfortable with that person running errands with your child?  I have someone that is going to come to my house to watch S if H's schedule changes. It crossed my mind that she might be driving with S and she brought it up today. I feel like I can't tell her no, you must stay in the house all day especially because I would like her to take S to the park but I'm so paranoid about them getting in an accident. The traffic/drivers where I live are the worst and the major highway here is one of the worst in the US so it worries me. 

leighry

@Ladybug2821 the only people that have really ever driven with my kids have been my parents or siblings. Occasionally close friends. I am less worried about my 5 and 4 year old but still keep close tabs on who drives my 2.5 year old and no one else but my husband and I have driven little man just because of how our schedules work out. But I will say that I used to babysit twin boys and their mother would keep my driving them to parks in town and occasionally to her husband's business to drop them off. I was only in highschool though so.. once I was in college and the kids were older I would take them to lunch and movies.

Ladybug2821

@leighry I guess I should add that this person is a long time friend of the family and is my moms age. As far as I know has a good driving record and no accidents but it still makes me nervous. She'll be at my house 10 hrs a day, 5 days a week. That is a lot of time to just stay inside all day.    

m6agua

@Ladybug2821 I also have a friend of the family watching LO on occasion (about 5-9 times per month). She drives with her because once in a while she has to go drop off or pick up her daughter from school. Today her daughter didn't have school and they went to toys r us. I'm not worried about her taking LO.

But honestly even though I am a FTM I feel like my worry level is that of a STM. DH worries about stuff way more than I do.

kvruns

I'm wearing maternity shorts today  
I have one pair of regular shorts that fit but the rest cause super muffin top. Have a feeling this won't be the last time I wear these 

jsmai

I only have one pair of non maternity pants I can wear since I'm still 20 lbs over pre pregnancy weight.  Ugh. I feel your pain.

leighry

@kvruns and @jsmai I'm right there on the struggle bus with you. 

hoosiermama-2

There's no shame in that, mamas! Comfy is best, shoot....

m6agua

Same here! The extra skin sure doesn't help for clothes.

SandNStarsNJ

Same on the maternity pants - if it's not leggings; it's maternity!

Is it awful that I'm half dreading hosting Easter tomorrow? SIL + family are flying back from Paris with an arrival time of 4am but insist the earlier the brunch, the better. Did I mention the kids are 4 & 8?

hoosiermama-2

I feel like I've hardly been posting lately. In less than a month I've gone back to work, accepted a new job, DH's best friend is facing serious charges, he & wife [our best couple-friends] are getting divorced, failed whole 30, plus all the other usual home & baby & work care stuff. Gah! Just wanted to say I'm still around, but reading mostly.

SandNStarsNJ

Nonsense @hoosiermama! Now about this failing Whole30... how far did you get?

Ladybug2821

When can the LOs drink water?  S is seriously eyeing up our drinks and sticking her tongue out like she wants some.  I gave her a small empty cup and she put it to her mouth Like she was taking a drink. I didn't think I needed sippy cups so soon. 

kristah2

@Ladybug2821 I'm pretty sure it's 6 months and when they start solids and only an oz at a time for a max of 2 oz a day I believe. I don't remember for sure though so don't quote me!