@supermom83 I am so sorry to hear about your mom. My grandad has alzheimers and it is so hard to see him like that. He isn't the mean type, he just can't remember anything. My nana doesn't understand it all that well, or I think she would handle it differently. She tells him to think harder, or she will ask him where he put something and make him feel stupid if he can't remember and keep asking him. He wets the bed every night and needs to have food placed in front of him in order to eat, he will never say he is hungry. He is getting so thin, and she tries to control what he eats and his portions. We suggested a caregiver with experience, so she can just enjoy her last bit of time with him, but she won't hear of it. A combination of feeling responsible for her spouse, and of keeping some sort of control over the situation. The key to those with alzheimers is to communicate with as little words as possible, as if you begin a long winded explanation of why you want them to do something, they will forget what you said at the beginning of your sentence. Instead a better approach is "let's go" when asked "where are we going?" You reply with "to have fun" or "to hit golf balls" or "going on a walk around the garden". Keep it simple, and remember that they don't have the capability to store memory anymore, but they do have the capacity to enjoy the moment.
Keep it simple, and remember that they don't have the capability to store memory anymore, but they do have the capacity to enjoy the moment.
That is a beautiful sentiment! My only warning is in later stages they get so confused and disoriented don't take them too far in case they get scared or angry.
Keep it simple, and remember that they don't have the capability to store memory anymore, but they do have the capacity to enjoy the moment.
That is a beautiful sentiment! My only warning is in later stages they get so confused and disoriented don't take them too far in case they get scared or angry.
And hide the the keys to all your cars. Please
Yep, this too. Stay close to the house, and find activities that are not too difficult, like watercolors etc. Grandad was riding his motorcycle and started to get lost, and that was our first clue. They have a tendency to wander, so no vehicles or bicycles either.
@CarsonsMommy that sounds frustrating having having someone else try to mother your child better and slyly kind of say youre doing it wrong.
Yep, and is exactly how it feels. She does this to me when DH isn't around, so he thinks I am overreacting or taking out of context. I was so angry this morning, I was almost shaking. I am the type where you just don't accuse me of half as sing something or not doing something I told you I did. It will not end well for you, unless of course I am living under your roof and have to be nice...
I'm putting this here in the randoms, but perhaps it should go under dumb questions.??
Do any of you mamas own a 4Runner? We're planning to upgrade next month from our tiny little car, and the 4Runner has always been my dream mom vehicle haha.
I need to fit the two rear facing car seats in the back seat and a possible double stroller in the way back. Thoughts on this, before we go car shopping?? Is it big enough?
@mrscate88 I haven't owned a 4Runner in a a couple years but if they're the same it should be good. I remember the back being big enough for a stroller. I feel like backseats are getting smaller in everything so it will be the same in most suvs. We took a infant seat car shopping with us last time and put it in each backseat we tried. We ended up with an F-150, they're HUGE in the back.
@mrscate88 I haven't owned a 4Runner in a a couple years but if they're the same it should be good. I remember the back being big enough for a stroller. I feel like backseats are getting smaller in everything so it will be the same in most suvs. We took a infant seat car shopping with us last time and put it in each backseat we tried. We ended up with an F-150, they're HUGE in the back.
Thank you! I glanced into the back seat of my friend's 4Runner and it seemed plenty spacious, but it's a different story actually strapping the car seats in. We'll definitely take a car seat with us for car shopping. I'm really excited to finally have an SUV!
My daughter decided to fingerprint herself and everything within a 2 foot radius of her crib with poop this afternoon. She has always had a history of taking her clothes off and thanks to a broken dryer for the last week we are out of zippys and she decided to express her creativity.
My daughter decided to fingerprint herself and everything within a 2 foot radius of her crib with poop this afternoon. She has always had a history of taking her clothes off and thanks to a broken dryer for the last week we are out of zippys and she decided to express her creativity.
She was quite thorough.
Omg I would like to publicly PRAISE THE LORD my son never did that, and PRAY this LO never does either. I'm sorry, mama.
@chiquita928 I used to think those internet pictures and stories of kids throwing and smooshing their poop were exaggerations - i used to roll my eyes. My daughter, who is normally meticulous about being clean, is a full blown poop artist. She can only sleep in zippys but fate conspired against us this weekend.
My son has taken off his pants/diaper before and pooped but he lacks the vision and creativity of my daughter...
@Dcwtada gosh I'm so sorry. That sounds like quite the mess. I hope your DH helps clean up the mess.
If that happened to us, I know I would have to clean everything up myself. We cat-sat for my sister once. The cat got mad and decided to kick out one of its poops from the litter box and smear it all over my apartment floor in protest. DH hid in our room and said his gag reflex was "too sensitive" to deal with it. I still remind him of it when we talk about the baby and diaper duty.
@Dcwtada gosh I'm so sorry. That sounds like quite the mess. I hope your DH helps clean up the mess.
If that happened to us, I know I would have to clean everything up myself. We cat-sat for my sister once. The cat got mad and decided to kick out one of its poops from the litter box and smear it all over my apartment floor in protest. DH hid in our room and said his gag reflex was "too sensitive" to deal with it. I still remind him of it when we talk about the baby and diaper duty.
DS projectile pooped on DH when he was maybe a week old. I was pumping, so DH had to take care of screaming child with dirty diaper. I couldn't help it, and busted out laughing. He got over the gag thing after that. My worst gag moment was DS's first stomach bug. He was 2, and got me up to help him go to the bathroom at midnight. As I was unzipping his jammies, he vomited all over me. I screamed for DH, "You have to take care of this...I have to shower!!" He was too tired to laugh at me, but he totally had every right.
@supermom83 I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. We're dealing with the same thing with my mother in law. 52 years old and diagnosed with early onset dementia. It's been such a struggle watching my husband and brother in law deal with this but having a support system for her and for you really helps.
Anyone have food allergies that have gone away or come back with pregnancy?? I'm already gluten free and have had tummy troubles after eating/drinking dairy for my entire life I'm allergic to casein (the protein in dairy and gluten-the protein in wheat)- then I became pregnant with my son and the reaction went away. I could have as much pizza and ice cream as I wanted without being stuck in the bathroom for hours afterwards. Now being pregnant again it's come back! So frustrating and I keep forgetting, I had chips and queso for lunch and am SERIOUSLY paying for it now.
@nktrodden826 basically the same. All my stomach issues went away with DD and I'm having constant issues this pregnancy. Stupid ass different pregnancies...I was looking forward to well behaved intestines again.
TTC: 1/2014
BFP: 9/24
EDD: 6/8/2015
Sorry for the poor man's siggy...ticker won't load regardless of how many tips I read.
@Dcwtada Oh my. You're making me rethink this whole child thing (joking, joking) Seriously though that's awful.
Hubby and Me Friends since 2008 Started dating: July 1st, 2013 Engaged: July 1st, 2014 Married: July 1st, 2016 R born: July 8th, 2017 N born: June 30th, 2019 Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022 (maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
@Dcwtada Oh my. You're making me rethink this whole child thing (joking, joking) Seriously though that's awful.
Lol! I was gonna say this too! What a nightmare...
Also, Re: Snoogle, I bought one early on (10 weeks, I think). It's awesome, though I find I don't need it every night. I like that I can position it in front of me, to snuggle with, or behind me to help support my back. I like that it's long enough to tuck up between my knees, while still having enough up top to rest my head and neck. From the pictures it looks like it would be too skinny or short but it's really not. Like I said, I don't use it every night but I'm so glad I have it when I do.
@BumpAdmin You guys are violating your own TOU by restricting/inhibiting users from enjoying your site. We can't say hardly anything without getting a warning like that. It's not right and you're working your way towards not having any users to police.
@CarsonsMommy oh.. in-laws. They're so fun, right?! (please note my sarcasm) I don't know how you haven't said anything. I would have lost it a little by now. Although I am one of those people who cleans and cries when they are angry or extremely annoyed, so I don't think I'm ever 'losing it' as much as I think I am lol. I hope that situation gets a bit better for you soon!
Eta: @nktrodden826 I usually have no issues with dairy, but the pregnancy hormones make me more sensitive to it.
@CarsonsMommy we lived with our parents for ~6 months, when DS was 3-9 months old. We ended up with our marriage in trouble, and in counseling. And we both LOVE our parents and in-laws. It is just a very very hard dynamic. Our counselor never gave prescriptive advice, but he did tell us that we needed to get our own place.
I'm sorry. It's a tough situation in the best of circumstances. How long are you guys stuck there? (Sorry, can't remember, if you posted that before.)
For the first time in this entire pregnancy I'm actually scared. I have some friends who are absolutely clueless when it comes to babies. I am not. Between my sister's kids and all my friends kids, I've just had babies around forever. DH is the oldest so he did a lot of taking care of his siblings when he was young. But for the first time I was like ... holy shit my life is going to change. Omg I'm going to be responsible for another human being. Man, labour is REALLY going to hurt. And of course, it's not going to be just DH and I anymore (I've been mourning that for some time now lol)
I'm not scared of if I'm going to be a good Mom. I know I will be. It's the change. No matter how much this was planned, how ready we are for it, how amazing it's going to be ... our lives are about to turn upside down.
@supermom83 I'm so sorry that you are dealing with this, it's hard. DH's Grandma is much of the same. You and your sisters sound like wonderful women. It's going to be hard but just know at the end of the day that you are looking out for her best interests. I wish you strength and courage through this difficult journey.
@stokesm21 I'm not going to lie, it's hard. But you'll find a new normal and adjust. And give yourself credit to struggle along the way. You may find your relationship with DH takes a different role and tone as you see what works and what doesn't. For some (lucky ones) it's a seamless transition, others there are a few growing pains. But it's ok to be scared. All of this is scary. I'm still scared the second time around.
TTC: 1/2014
BFP: 9/24
EDD: 6/8/2015
Sorry for the poor man's siggy...ticker won't load regardless of how many tips I read.
@stokesm21 I remember with my first freaking out too - I knew my life was going to change and things would be different (I had been around babies too and my DH had a son from a previous marrriage so it wasn't a fear of how to care for a baby) but it was MY child that I had to be responsible for 24/7. Half of me was worried for the change and half of me obsessed "just how things would change" if that makes sense. I feared the unknown, what it would be like and if I could handle it and adjust, let alone enjoy it.
Granted I am a pretty laid back person but the adjustment was so easy and natural, more than I could have imagined. Even going back to work and then 2 months later when I found out I was pregnant again becoming a SAHM was not as much as an adjustment as I feared. There are pros and cons to everything but you adapt so quickly to your reality it's insane. I think moms are made that way I am not saying you won't have your days of feeing overwhelming, like you are a fraud or never good enough, and missing what once was - but it's different.
@stokesm21 It is definitely hard. You figure it out as you go. Going out doesn't happen as often. You just learn to find a new normal. I think it is completely normal to think about those things. I remember going through the same thing with my first. Now I'm having the same thoughts with my second. Our normal for the last 5 years is going to change. The good news...you and your husband will figure out your new normal together. That is the good news. You have each other.
Labor is painful and hard. But in the end, you have a beautiful baby which makes it all worth it. I will tell you that I remember during labor with my son thinking Is this really worth it? The answer is Yes! You will be amazing!
@stokesm21 I'm not going to lie, it's hard. But you'll find a new normal and adjust. And give yourself credit to struggle along the way. You may find your relationship with DH takes a different role and tone as you see what works and what doesn't. For some (lucky ones) it's a seamless transition, others there are a few growing pains. But it's ok to be scared. All of this is scary. I'm still scared the second time around.
Thank you! This helps for sure! I think DH and I will be fine for the most part but I still expect some bumps in the road for sure. I just love this guy so damn much! He's my best friend. A part of me wants him all to myself forever lol!
@stokesm21 I remember with my first freaking out too - I knew my life was going to change and things would be different (I had been around babies too and my DH had a son from a previous marrriage so it wasn't a fear of how to care for a baby) but it was MY child that I had to be responsible for 24/7. Half of me was worried for the change and half of me obsessed "just how things would change" if that makes sense. I feared the unknown, what it would be like and if I could handle it and adjust, let alone enjoy it.
This. Exactly this. I have a SS but he's older now and I wasn't really there when he was a baby. The bolded party totally does make sense to me too.
I walk by the nursery currently in shambles and think, in just a few short months there's going to be a baby in there. :S I can no longer make random trips to the corner store. Grocery shopping means getting baby all ready, hauling them in and out of the vehicle a thousand times. Camping. All I want to do is go camping this summer but I don't think I'll be comfortable taking a newborn camping and I wouldn't want to subject other campers to that haha! Planned on starting my first food garden this year and wondering how that's all going to go with baby in tow.
@stokesm21 In fairness I deal with anxiety, so every change is kind of stressful and weird for me, but I'm terrified too. I think I'm going to be a good mom, but this pregnancy is still not entirely real to me. No matter how sick I've been, and now with the bump out loud and proud, it still hasn't really sunk in that I'm going to have a whole human being to be responsible for. I'm still prepping and thinking about it and planning but it isn't real to me yet. I even fell totally in love with my baby at the NT scan, but I'm more attached to the photos than I am to my bump where the baby actually IS! I don't think it will be real until the baby is in my arms, and maybe not even then. It's such a huge and unplanned early change for us, and I'm just taking it one day at a time. That will probably be my mama mantra. One day at a time. Otherwise I'll go nuts.
Hubby and Me Friends since 2008 Started dating: July 1st, 2013 Engaged: July 1st, 2014 Married: July 1st, 2016 R born: July 8th, 2017 N born: June 30th, 2019 Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022 (maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
I spent DS's first year insisting on the narrative "things haven't changed that much." That was kind of silly, but I also don't like the narrative "your whole life changes." I mean, I guess it does...but I am still Me. The things that are important to me have stayed the same. I feel like my life has expanded and maybe shifted, but something really rubs me the wrong way with the "everything is now different" mindset. I think parents can lose themselves sometimes, and staying grounded in who you are and what doesn't change, is equally important.
I also find it really hard to talk about becoming a parent, being a parent, having a kid, without using meaningless cliches. I think until you're in it, it is just hard to understand; and once you're in it, it is still hard to understand and also hard to explain.
Did I just say a lot of nothing? Sorry. Words are hard sometimes.
Re: life changes with baby I think, yeah so much changes, but you don't actively realize it's happening. You're thinking about other things than what was, and you're just focusing on the "now." I don't remember missing anything about what used to be, but just learning more about how things had become. And newborns are soooo sleepy (unless you've got colic), that the changes are pretty slow. When I was explaining it to our friens (men), I said, "You know how in a video game, the beginning monsters are really easy, and then as you level up they throw one new type of challenge at you at a time? It's kind of like that." I think that still stands as the best way to explain it. You just keel "leveling up." Sorry for the uber-geeky response, but it might help someone.
@MrsLa3 DS started Tball for the first time last week. They had an indoor clinic. He was so excited!! He's the shortest and youngest by a lot, but he had so. much. fun. It was adorable. I don't even know what a game could possibly be like, but if he stays this excited, it'll be worth it.
Re: Weekend Randoms 1/21
And hide the the keys to all your cars. Please
Do any of you mamas own a 4Runner? We're planning to upgrade next month from our tiny little car, and the 4Runner has always been my dream mom vehicle haha.
I need to fit the two rear facing car seats in the back seat and a possible double stroller in the way back. Thoughts on this, before we go car shopping?? Is it big enough?
Thanks!!
She was quite thorough.
My son has taken off his pants/diaper before and pooped but he lacks the vision and creativity of my daughter...
If that happened to us, I know I would have to clean everything up myself. We cat-sat for my sister once. The cat got mad and decided to kick out one of its poops from the litter box and smear it all over my apartment floor in protest. DH hid in our room and said his gag reflex was "too sensitive" to deal with it. I still remind him of it when we talk about the baby and diaper duty.
Friends since 2008
Started dating: July 1st, 2013
Engaged: July 1st, 2014
Married: July 1st, 2016
R born: July 8th, 2017
N born: June 30th, 2019
Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022
(maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
Also, Re: Snoogle, I bought one early on (10 weeks, I think). It's awesome, though I find I don't need it every night. I like that I can position it in front of me, to snuggle with, or behind me to help support my back. I like that it's long enough to tuck up between my knees, while still having enough up top to rest my head and neck. From the pictures it looks like it would be too skinny or short but it's really not. Like I said, I don't use it every night but I'm so glad I have it when I do.
Mark it. On January 22, 2017, sarcasm died on the Bump.
@CarsonsMommy oh.. in-laws. They're so fun, right?! (please note my sarcasm) I don't know how you haven't said anything. I would have lost it a little by now. Although I am one of those people who cleans and cries when they are angry or extremely annoyed, so I don't think I'm ever 'losing it' as much as I think I am lol. I hope that situation gets a bit better for you soon!
Eta: @nktrodden826 I usually have no issues with dairy, but the pregnancy hormones make me more sensitive to it.
I'm sorry. It's a tough situation in the best of circumstances. How long are you guys stuck there? (Sorry, can't remember, if you posted that before.)
PAIF/PgAL
I'm not scared of if I'm going to be a good Mom. I know I will be. It's the change. No matter how much this was planned, how ready we are for it, how amazing it's going to be ... our lives are about to turn upside down.
Yikes.
Met: 08/2001 ~ Dating: 07/2004 ~ Engaged: 11/2009 ~ Married: 06/2011
TTC: Since 09/16 ~ BFP 10/28/16 ~ EDD 7/5/17
Team Pink * Canadian Bumpie
Met: 08/2001 ~ Dating: 07/2004 ~ Engaged: 11/2009 ~ Married: 06/2011
TTC: Since 09/16 ~ BFP 10/28/16 ~ EDD 7/5/17
Team Pink * Canadian Bumpie
Granted I am a pretty laid back person but the adjustment was so easy and natural, more than I could have imagined. Even going back to work and then 2 months later when I found out I was pregnant again becoming a SAHM was not as much as an adjustment as I feared. There are pros and cons to everything but you adapt so quickly to your reality it's insane. I think moms are made that way
Labor is painful and hard. But in the end, you have a beautiful baby which makes it all worth it. I will tell you that I remember during labor with my son thinking Is this really worth it? The answer is Yes! You will be amazing!
Met: 08/2001 ~ Dating: 07/2004 ~ Engaged: 11/2009 ~ Married: 06/2011
TTC: Since 09/16 ~ BFP 10/28/16 ~ EDD 7/5/17
Team Pink * Canadian Bumpie
I walk by the nursery currently in shambles and think, in just a few short months there's going to be a baby in there. :S I can no longer make random trips to the corner store. Grocery shopping means getting baby all ready, hauling them in and out of the vehicle a thousand times. Camping. All I want to do is go camping this summer but I don't think I'll be comfortable taking a newborn camping and I wouldn't want to subject other campers to that haha! Planned on starting my first food garden this year and wondering how that's all going to go with baby in tow.
Huge adjustment for sure!
Met: 08/2001 ~ Dating: 07/2004 ~ Engaged: 11/2009 ~ Married: 06/2011
TTC: Since 09/16 ~ BFP 10/28/16 ~ EDD 7/5/17
Team Pink * Canadian Bumpie
Friends since 2008
Started dating: July 1st, 2013
Engaged: July 1st, 2014
Married: July 1st, 2016
R born: July 8th, 2017
N born: June 30th, 2019
Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022
(maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
I also find it really hard to talk about becoming a parent, being a parent, having a kid, without using meaningless cliches. I think until you're in it, it is just hard to understand; and once you're in it, it is still hard to understand and also hard to explain.
Did I just say a lot of nothing? Sorry. Words are hard sometimes.
I think, yeah so much changes, but you don't actively realize it's happening. You're thinking about other things than what was, and you're just focusing on the "now." I don't remember missing anything about what used to be, but just learning more about how things had become. And newborns are soooo sleepy (unless you've got colic), that the changes are pretty slow. When I was explaining it to our friens (men), I said, "You know how in a video game, the beginning monsters are really easy, and then as you level up they throw one new type of challenge at you at a time? It's kind of like that." I think that still stands as the best way to explain it. You just keel "leveling up." Sorry for the uber-geeky response, but it might help someone.
We signed DD up for tball this weekend, she asks every night if we can go to a tball game. I love that she's so excited about this!