IVF Single Mom By Choice

LoveDontCostAThing

@hopeful_mom -Who did you think was judging you about the gender thing?  No judgment here!  Although, I do find it very interesting that all of your normies are boys AND that you had the m/c with two girls...any correlation, I wonder??  Seems like an odd coincidence.  Could there be a genetic or chromosomal issue that only affects girls that certain women (or men because it is OH's sperm) are more prone to?  I totally have no idea, but find it interesting for sure.  Also, if you're holding off on the FET then I know it's for a good reason because I know how much you want to get to transfer.  You have to listen to your body and nobody else's opinion on that.  @Prudence9 is right that you had so many back to back cycles that maybe your body is telling you to take a break.  Plus, added work stress won't help your anxiety in this process.  If you do another IVF cycle, when would you do that?  I don't necessarily think that getting a second opinion is a bad thing.  How many doctors are at your practice?  At mine two of the lead doctors disagree on many things, which I found fascinating talking to both of them.  For example, one thinks polyps do not affect ability to get and maintain pregnancy and the other doctor thinks polyps have an affect and demands them be removed before transfer.  The practice blamed that discrepancy on why they didn't have me remove them prior to starting IVF.  They said that the other doctor reviewed my file before transfer and made me freeze for surgery....not ideal, but interesting how one doctor thought no big deal and the other did.  I like hearing multiple view points.  For your age, I think you got a good amount of normal embryos, but who am I to know?  Why did your friend think it wasn't a good number?  What is she basing that on?  I love data! lol.  What does your OH think about everything?  Is he sort of leaving the decisions to you on this?

AFM, I will keep you posted tomorrow after my anatomy scan!!!  I am trying not to be nervous--I've been pretty good--whatever will be, will be, and I have to hope for the best and think positively.  I just hope that they tell me what's going on as they go.  I read that they don't always because the doctor has to review, but my doctor won't be there.  The ultrasound is at a different location, so it will be an ultrasound tech.  I will find it particularly cruel if they make me wait for results, but I read on another thread that some places do and some don't...and some meet with the dr. after, but I don't have my next dr. appointment until July 27th, so he won't be there tomorrow.  I am more anxious about not getting immediate feedback.  If I don't, I might have to get feisty and tell them what I have been through to get to this point and that I'm not leaving unless they tell me!  Although, I can be feisty, I don't know if I would have the balls to say exactly that...I will let you know.  I should also find out if boy/ girl tomorrow if baby is in right position.  I really think boy!

prudence9-2

@LoveDontCostAThing good luck tomorrow!!!

Hopeful_mom

Trust me I'm already trying to think of what I should, could do

And yes you are correct the cycle before I did get 2 our of the 3 back!  The crazy thing is I've done the same protocol all 4 cycles only difference was how long i had the patch on for I would say but nothing concrete that I would know to do again.  When you're so close to be done to think of starting to go for second opinions and stuff like I dont have all this time.  i hate that its all so frustrating!  I have a party to go to and have no desire to go!

prudence9-2

@hopeful_mom 2 out of 3 is amazing for our age!!!! 

prudence9-2

Oops didn't mean to post just yet. Hahaha

is it a family or friends party that you have? Sometimes I don't feel like going places but after I go, I end up enjoying and glad I went...  so I hope that will be he case for you... if you end up going 

LoveDontCostAThing

Thanks for the good lucks!  Guess what!?  I'm having a BOY!!!!  I knew it!!!!  We saw the penis clearly LOL. The u/s tech isn't supposed to tell you too much because her photos (like 100 photos!) go to the dr. at the place, who then sends a report to my OB.  She was very sweet, so I did get some info from her!  When she was looking at the heart, I asked if it had 4 chambers, and it does!  When she was looking at the brain, I asked if it looked normal...she said, "yes, so far" because she was still looking.  He peed during it lol...I asked about the kidneys and umbilical cord, which were normal.  I tried not to ask too too many questions, but I did ask a good amount.  I told her I have anxiety, and she said so does she.  At the end I said, "Sooooo, you can you just tell me if everything is okay?"  She said she couldn't, but kind of did by saying, "But I wouldn't worry if I were you."  Thank god for that comment!  She said that if something was significantly wrong then the dr. would probably call me today.  I'll probably call the OB in a couple of days.

prudence9-2

@LoveDontCostAThing that is the BEST news!!!! So happy for you!!! And amazing how you felt so early on that it is a boy!!! So happy for you!!!

LoveDontCostAThing

@Prudence9 -Thank you so much.  I truly appreciate your positivity!  I am looking forward to your FET!!!!  I have a good feeling for you

prudence9-2

Thanks @LoveDontCostAThing !!! I hope it will work this time around! Seeing your success and the success of other people on this forum after m/c gives me hope!

LoveDontCostAThing

@Prudence9 -yes, my chemical pregnancy was upsetting, but gave me hope that I could get pregnant.  You and @hopeful_mom can get pregnant too!  So, that is a good thing!

prudence9-2

I hope so too!!! @LoveDontCostAThing

Hopeful_mom

@LoveDontCostAThing YES!!!!!  Awwwwwwww a lil prince!!  I'm so glad he's so well endowed already, you hubby must be proud  Its kind of amazing that you did know you had a lil man.  I did previously know I had a lil princess for you, couldve been a match  We'll see what the stork will have in store for me next time  I"m amazed you got SO MUCH info on your US.  This is good stuff I hope I will need to remember it for one day  So thrilled for you!  How excited is DH, did he think Boy too?  Have you started thinking about names?
I have to say i missed ur earlier post probably cause i was getting dressed for the party I didn't want to go to yesterday
At first I thought we couldn't make boys because cycle 4 we made all girls even though they were abnormal   I've always wanted both, who doesn't!  Even though I hear some like both kids the same gender rather then one and one.  It wasn't until cycle 5 that i knew we could make a boy.  I've been keeping track of how many of each through the cycles and so far the girls were leading in gender but the boys are the healthy ones....so essentially they're winning ha!!!  My last cycle was all boys so its still neck in neck.  Right now I" waiting for AF to come now that I"ve stopped taking the estrace.  Actually waiting to hear back from my RE on what we shall be doing.  Usually I did Estrogen priming but if I wait for AF to show then I miss out on that.  Because I've been so stressed OH thinks I should take off another cycle BUT I think this cycle down is enough for now.  I'll also tell you I've been working since 10am and haven't eaten every meal in front of this computer...so I'm glad I stopped theres no way I wouldve been relaxed and ready for a transfer at all!!  And YAY you are officially at the 1/2 way mark, hope it feels great!!!

Prudence9 and I agree I do think our day is coming soon  - we're gonna make it!  I think we fell into the 1st time MC, I just hate thats when I had my twins...its like a double whammy   I definitely need to re-think my job situation for the rest of the summer, now having to jump from these shorter jobs to jobs will not be a good thing.  I've been working 16hrs now, I wish that wasn't accurate but it is boooooooo.  Talk about people not setting up the right amount of time needed for these things, very annoying!!!  See I went to the party and here I am playing catch up.... granted I wasn't getting paid to work last night but maybe I couldve gotten a better jump on things...now I will hopefully be able to at least get some sleep  I just know with doing a transfer I can't do this type of project its extra stress my body doesn't need!  You're done with your meds so now what for you??

prudence9-2

@Hopeful_mom I stared Lupron injections on Thurs, today was my last BCP and on Monday I have the baseline appt...

LoveDontCostAThing

@hopeful_mom- thank you!!  My advice for the future is to definitely ask questions and push for answers at the anatomy scan lol.  I googled about anatomy scans and got some ideas of what to ask, but of course didn't remember much, but remembered the heart and asking about 4 chambers!  DH is excited, and he kind of wanted a girl!!  I wanted a boy!  Of course, I wold have been fine with either.  Today is also our two year anniversary!!!!  What a great gift!  We are naming him after DH.  I would rather choose a different name, but it has literally been something he has wanted to do forever, so I would feel terrible taking that away from him.  He's the third, so baby will be the fourth!  I feel like that's a lot, but once long before I was pregnant and I told him I didn't want to name a baby after him (not as an insult, just wanted a different name) he got really upset.  He's compromised more in our relationship (like staying in NJ for example when his business is in PA and he has a long commute) that I know I need to give him this!!!  So, what will you do next cycle?  Did you say you spoke to your doctor?  If so, what did they say?

prudence9-2

@LoveDontCostAThing that's great that what you wanted was a boy 

Hopeful_mom

Prudence9 glad ur getting started!

@LoveDontCostAThing he wanted a girl thats so cute!!  And u wanted a boy go figure!  y a boy first?  Originally when I thought I was having kids at 22 i wanted a boy too, just like my mom i thought it was the best having an older brother!  But then the punches hurt that much more too    Happy anniversary and with a baby on the way - thats pretty awesome, so happy for u!!!  I'm glad OH has made some sacrifices!  and you're sweet about the name, I only know how I will not have it easy where I really should.  He got to name his other kids isn't it my turn.  Especially when he did what he wanted...he knows i want to name them after my grandparents for years.  There aren't a lot of things i'm sure about but naming my kids after 2 of the people I miss the most is one of them!!  Jus thinking about it makes my blood pressure go up as we argue about it already.    Then I ask him to stop and remind him to first let me get there!!
Going to the RE in the am so shall have more to report then...should get some sleep first

prudence9-2

@Hopeful_mom good luck at your appt today! Hope you leave the appt with a plan for the next cycle! 

LoveDontCostAThing

@hopeful_mom -thanks!  we are going away for our anniversary tomorrow-tuesday to cape may.  that's where we got married--on the beach!  we went last year too, so it's becoming annual!  can't believe next year we will have the baby with us!!!!  I always see couples in the pool with their babies and hope it'll be me one day!  ugh, your OH wants to name the kids?  you're right--he already named kids!!!!  When I saw DH's reaction when I didn't want to name the baby after him, I thought long and hard and realized, "damn, i'll be so happy to have a kid that it can be named whatever."  of course, I want to name him a cool, creative name, but ohh well.  at least I know how much DH cares if he cares that much about a name!!!  I was kind of shocked about his reaction...he talked to his dad about it and everything!!!

prudence9-2

@LoveDontCostAThing have a great time in cape may! I have a friend that goes there every year and loves it there!

so one of the advantages of being single is: I am the only one who decides on the name 

Hopeful_mom

Prudence9 you r so right!!  How did you decide on the donor?  Trust me at times I have told me I'm going to use a donor, can't say it went over very well...  I give you all the credit for doing it on your own i wish i wouldve thought about it years ago instead of waiting for love....booooo  You get to do what you want when you want and not anwser to anybody, there has to be a bounce in that too!

@LoveDontCostAThing that sounds really nice have a wonderful time!!  My OH will kill me if he reads this thread you should know, i have to stop talking about u lovely ladies on the bump  I get what ur saying with DH and this is your first child, so I get it.  But randomly the other day he's saying how hes naming a son after him again...I'm like really cause you have a son and didn't opt to do it then.  I find it frustrating as he picked some random name they liked, r u kidding me!  I know its silly to argue about so i dont right now, let me first get pregnant.  I get being so happy and the whatever part BUT that should come from him especially seeing everything I'm goign through.  He thinks he is in this with me HAAAAAAA  he has never even given me a shot.  He thinks its all about his contribution to the process....can you see he annoys me


AFM:  you want to laugh my US showed 2 follies growing, seriously, with no meds thats awesome body.  Can i please not waste any extra eggs in this process!  RE wants to make sure that they're producing estrogen so will go back over the weekend for more monitoring...then i'll do TI and get pregnant that way HA!!    Wouldn't that be a nice kick in the pants.

prudence9-2

@Hopeful_mom doing it on my own definitely has its advantages   

as as for the donor, because I'm Ashkenazi Jew I had all the genetic testing and apparently I'm a carrier of one of the diseases. So they told me I have to pick a Jewish donor to make sure he's tested for these diseases as well. 

So that took down the pool of donors to a somewhat smaller list.   

i also wanted to choose an Open donor. So if my kid wants to find out who their donor is, they could at 18. So that also made the list much smaller.  

wow! You have two follicles!! You should definitely try some TI!!!

**TW**
i have a friend that had two boys and wanted to get pregnant again. She couldn't and they started doing IVF. Not sure how many cycles she's done, maybe 3-4. Her embryos never made it to day 5. They always transferred bad quality embryos on day 3. She never got BFP... so then, they took 1 month off and that's when she got pregnant... the old fashioned way...
so it's def worth trying!
** END TW**

AFM... I'm really upset this morning. When I first got the calendar I saw that the nurse was trying to make me happy by starting as soon as possible whereas she should have probably let me wait one more day before stopping BCP and starting Lupron.  According to her calendar I was suppose to get the period tomorrow and go to baseline on CD3 (usually it's on CD2). And then she got me to start the patches on CD4 whereas it's usually on CD2... I didn't say anything.... but I just got my period!! So now the calendar is even more off!!!
I will email her but I bet she will not change it as the rule for them is that medicated FET patients have no weekend appts.  As everything is so timed. So they keep weekend appts for non medicated and IVF. Which makes sense. But I hope she tweaks my calendar. Ahhh. I can't have this cycle not work

prudence9-2

Nurse called me and since I'm on Lupron another day or two don't matter.... so baseline will still be on Monday. 

Hopeful_mom

Prudence9 yay for AF thats one step closer  I love your friends success story it would be nice!  But I just done see it in my cards...wish I did though!!
(TW) So I learned at my clinic the other day that this couple had 8 boys and was coming back for my IVF...dear lord it amazes me how many kids some people can handle!  Her last cycle she put a boy and a girl in and the boy took...not sure why she just didn't put the girl in but to each his own.  As for the donor so you wanted them to be the same faith i get it, I would think that too, however my friend that was doing the same as you the RE told her to pick someone that was not jewish so you wouldn't have any issues at all, how funny is that!

prudence9-2

@hopeful_mom no, I could care less about their faith!

I had to pick a Jew to make sure they had the genetics tests (that only ashkenaz jews have) to make sure they are not carrier to the disease I am a carrier of. 

prudence9-2

Since only Jews are tested for many genetics diseases you want someone that was tested. After all, a non Jew could still be a carrier but you'd never know. And since I'm a carrier we must know they were tested. 


I was was actually upset I had to pick a Jew because it cut down my options by a lot!!!

Hopeful_mom

Prudence9 hmmmmm that doesn't sound right to me, I'm pretty sure i'm carrier of the same disease as you and its our decent that carries that gene, someone from say Italy isn't going to have it, well they shouldn't....so I've been told. Now i'm concerned i can't even remember if OH was tested as it was so long ago already.

prudence9-2

@hopeful_mom it all depends on the disease. And yeah, there were two theories, either I don't go with a Jew, which probably doesn't have it and hasn't been tested. Or go with a Jew that was tested. 

prudence9-2

@hopeful_mom how do you know what disease I'm a carrier of? 

Hopeful_mom

Prudence9 i assume it the most common one and its way too long of a word to try and spell at the moment 

prudence9-2

@hopeful_mom no mine is one that I've never heard of before I got the results that I'm a carrier 

Hopeful_mom

Prudence9 well if you want to be fancy now  Have monitoring in the AM lets see what my follies are doing now.  Are you thinking about doing the immune testing?

littledarlins how r u doing?  shouldn't you be ready for another mini cycle?

prudence9-2

@Hopeful_mom good luck tomorrow!

well, my clinic doesn't do those and the nurse at the clinic referred me to doctors in the area that do it. But said they probably do after multiple m/c (great!)

anyway, I think I'm going to go for another FET, not knowing the cause of my m/c and hope it doesn't happen again!! FX!!!!

Hopeful_mom

Prudence9 I'm still leaning towards moving forward with an FET without all the extras too....we shall see...

AFM:  My 13 is now a 16.5 and especially since this is a natural cycle I have 2 now at 9...love all these extra follies just perking up  Anyhoo I will trigger tomorrow and that will be that.  My DH had an emergency with his mom so between that and my back I dont really see TI happening but we shall see...at least I know i'm moving forward.  Back next weekend to see if I'm ready for the patch!

prudence9-2

@hopeful_mom good luck with the trigger! And who knows maybe you won't need to have a FET 

but it if you do start patches next weekend, we will be very close in our cycles. My baseline is on Monday and hopefully start patches on Tuesday. 

Hopeful_mom

Prudence9 you'll be ahead of me, I think I'm going to try another round of IVF first ...I think

prudence9-2

@hopeful_mom hopefully we will both have a successful FET, whenever that may be! 

prudence9-2

@hopeful_mom so the patches are for IVF? I haven't used patches for IVF. I'm only using them for FET

Hopeful_mom

Prudence9 yes its for estrogen priming for IVF, my place doesn't use the patches for FET, they first start with estrace.

prudence9-2

@Hopeful_mom so interesting how every clinic doing things differently. And at the end they all have the same goal 

prudence9-2

Had my baseline appt today. Was worried because (TMI) I didn't have much flow... but regardless, they said the lining looks nice and thin and gave me the thumbs up to start with the patches tomorrow. 

I've been having a constant headache since Sat... its that damn Lupron. Previous times I was lucky and didn't have this side effect. Ahhh. They told me once I start with the patches it should get better.