IVF Single Mom By Choice

littledarlins

@LoveDontCostAThing  so glad things are moving along well!  

Hopeful_mom

Hi ladies ER was ok but not as expected, I was hoping my body would surprise me with an extra like last time but instead my largest follie was empty and gave me nothing  First time thats happened so I couldn't not stop crying after retrieval. So I only got 4 eggs and 1 of the 4 didn't seem as mature...which makes my anger grow as I could've stemmed another day making it mature especially since the big one I triggered for was empty.  

3 of them fertilized which I'm happy about but they still have along way to go to be biopsied.  I hate that I'm so down about it when I should be hopeful but the thought of doing another ivf cycle does not excite me in the slightest.   I will wait to see if these 3 make it and take it from there.  I really should've just done a fresh transfer with this batch since there are so few.  Every egg counts so i'm just frustrated that they sacrificed the smaller one for the bigger one and lost both in the end.

@LoveDontCostAThing awwww a boy?  are you sure or guessing?  Glad for another successful US!!  Didn't see the bus crash but also with work i'm living in a bubble too, anything crashing doesn't sound good!  
As for the MTHFR yes i believe its a gene but odd that its not part of the genetic testing they do in the beginning.  You should know it was after my retrieval that I brought it up to my RE, didn't want to annoy her prior.  And yes there is med to take however they dont believe it as 1/2 the population have it and have successful pregnancy's.  My thought will be if it doesn't hurt the baby or me I will take it as a precaution along with baby Aspirin.  I also asked about the nk cell and she thought I was nuts at that point ans said that immunology and they dont do that blood work....obviously they dont think its related. 

I hate myself for feeling so down! The fact that I got so few I was like I guess I have to do another round and RE's eyes bugged out of her head.  I explained I'm going by your statistics and charts and eggs clearly decline from 40-42 so IF I want to have more then one child now is the time.  Like I don't want to be pregnant?  Are you kidding me.  I just feel its now or never...talk about a million dollar baby.  OMG the pressure in my tummy is awful I couldve used another day in bed!

prudence9-2

@LoveDontCostAThing that is sooooo exciting!!! So glad everything is going well and that you graduated from the fertility clinic!!! And yeah, the MYHFR is a gene that some believe can cause m/c... but according to my RE it doesn't. So not sure what's correct. I do think that they just don't know everything yet about causes of miscarriages. 

@Hopeful_mom I'm so sorry this retrieval wasn't as good as the last. I do hope they will all make it to blast and that you will have normals. And I totally get your frustration and sadness. 

Would you consider doing a transfer next? I know that with every day our body and egg quality is getting worse. But maybe taking a break and trying for a baby might be good for your ovaries... I'm sure you're thinking of all the options. And I know it is a very difficult decision.  

prudence9-2

AFM... I have my scheduled phone call with the RE today. So if all goes well, I will continue as planned. 

I have a list of questions to ask her. I believe she would not want more tests. So I hope she can convince me that im not just going to sacrifice another normal embryo to end up with the same outcome. 

prudence9-2

The talk with my RE went well. She agreed to test if I have an infection in the uterine lining. So I will have a biopsy either this week or early next week. She thinks it will come back normal. Because apparently they sent some tissues after the miscarriage also to a lab to test for stuff like that (and also to the other lab to check that there was no error in PGS). She still believes the miscarriage happened because of some genetic defect in the embryo. As those things are not tested in PGS. 

I also told her I still have numbness in my upper outer thighs which I think is because of the PIO injections. So she said that they usually don't recommend smaller needles but because I am tiny maybe the 1.5 inch needle is too deep for me. So we agreed I will start with 1 inch needle and then we will test my progesterone levels to see that I still get enough. 

littledarlins

@Hopeful_mom  i replied to your post in the other thread, but to add, do not hate yourself for feeling down. All this stuff is hard, and having all the medications really mess with our heads in the first place. I think it can be hard to manage all the levels of hormones with what we are dealing with.  We are with you.

Hopeful_mom

If my emotions aren't all over the place enough if any of you happen to be watching the news and hear about the car crash running down pedestrians that's right outside the building.  I had co-workers that were out there and by the grace of g-d the car crashed on the other side...so scary this world we live in!!  Like I wasn't stressed out enough already!!

My Day 2 update - 4A, 4B and 2BC...so far 2 of the 3 are pretty much on target, I always strive for the A in school so I would like my eggs to do the same  I'm hoping the 3rd will catch up tomorrow and be a fighter!  My tummy is still hurting me which is annoying...but that too shall pass.

littledarlins have you had your follow up?

Prudence9 what the uterine lining test called?  I'll have to look into that next maybe.

LoveDontCostAThing

Thanks everyone!  Thinking about all of you lovely ladies

@hopeful_mom -Please don't be so hard on yourself.  Feeling down is totally normal in this process.  You have been through SO MUCH.  By the way, it isn't too late to do a fresh transfer!!!!  You technically could within the next few days!  What does your dr. think?  Is is worth paying all the money to test 3 eggs?  It totally might be, so don't be offended by my question .  If you don't do fresh, you could take one cycle off to let your body rest.  I know you don't want to hear that, but one cycle off wouldn't be the worst thing.  I know every month counts, but it might help your body rejuvenate.  Just my thoughts!

LoveDontCostAThing

ohh yeah, and no, we don't know if it's a boy.  we just all think it is!

littledarlins

I had a follow up today, and the one follicle is growing just fine, and they think because of the hormone levels that it is a good one, so we are going ahead, just with a delay until Sunday or Monday.  I go in tomorrow to check again.  It is tiring but okay.  I will be happy to get one healthy embryo out of this! 

@Hopeful_mom why does your tummy hurt? 

prudence9-2

@hopeful_mom it's a biopsy of the uterine lining and they will check the tissue for infections.

@littledarlins glad it's growing fine! How big is it?

prudence9-2

@LoveDontCostAThing when is he next ultrasound?

littledarlins

@Prudence9 today my U/S was good, and the one follicle is at 18 so they are happy with that.  I am just waiting on bloodwork to see if my ER is Sunday or Monday.  waiting waiting always waiting!  SO what happends for you now, you are going to do some lining tests and then you start again, or do you have to wait?

prudence9-2

@littledarlins glad to hear the follicle keeps growing!

AFM.... I will have a biopsy today and until we get the biopsy results (probably in 2 weeks) I will continue preparing for FET.... Which means: daily Lupron injections, last BCP tomorrow and then baseline next Thurs... if I get the ok next week, then patches will be added to the Lupron for another 2 weeks... and then the fun PIO injections will be added 

prudence9-2

@hopeful_mom will you get status update today? Hope the third one caught up!

Hopeful_mom

littledarlins sounds like you have a solid follie on ur hands good deal!!  Do you trigger?

@LoveDontCostAThing HA!!!  funny if its a girl dont tell her that  how soon can u find out??  never offend my dear!!  Every cycle counts for me so unless my body says so I will keep pushing through.  As for the testing since I've been doing it once you get past 8 embryos and pay the fuller chuck of money you then pay alacarte  for each additional embryo.  So at this point its worth it to keep testing.  Shipping along is $250 so i'm praying I get the few so its a lil less a piece.  This months are precious for me so I just need to stay focused!  If I was younger I totally wouldve taken time off from this...but for now I"m in it and will be happy to just talk about my growing pnut hopefully one of these days!  Are you starting to show yet?

Prudence9 what biopsy are you having done?  the uterine one?  Hopefully its over and all went well!

AFM: My embabies I'm actually confused by my update.  Today she told me 8A, 8A, 8BC and one 4C.  Now that would mean 3 are growing well which is great!!  I just thought the other day that one was out.  I seriously thought she got confused with who I am...so at this point I will have to sit tight till Monday to hear what has been biopsied...really praying I got some fighters here!! 

prudence9-2

@Hopeful_mom yes biopsy to uterine lining. Biopsy over. Was a super painful 2 minutes and then pretty painful for another 10 minutes or so. but after that not painful anymore so I didn't even take a painkiller. 

That is great that 3 are where they should be! FX they'll biopsy all 3!

littledarlins

@Prudence9 ouch!  I am so sorry you had to do that and Im sure you are noe glad its over!  I hope the results are helpful.  


@Hopeful_mom I also hope all are in the running but you are wise to double check on monday- I actually had it happen that the lab tech was reading the wrong report to me and it ended in great disappointment.  Smart to make sure!

AFM I got the go-ahead to trigger tonight.  They laid it on thick, becuase i Have the clomid, a shot of Ganirelix, then the tablet thing, and trigger shots.  the ganirelix burned and bothered my stomach for a while and i dont remember it doing that last time. Did that burn yall?  

 So my ER is Sunday morning, and after 3 delays, I am thrilled.  Hoping for one nice little darlin out of this.   And then. more waiting, of course!!


 

prudence9-2

@littledarlins my RE thinks the results will come normal. But I think it's worth checking. 

I also didnt like Ganirelix..   

good luck with the trigger!

prudence9-2

@littledarlins good luck tomorrow!!!

Hopeful_mom

@littledarlins hope things went well for u today!!!

Prudence9 is the uterine lining similar to an ERA?  DO you feel any better or more confident moving forward with the next FET?  As more time goes by I'm becoming more nervous about it.

prudence9-2

@hopeful_mom what I had was biopsy. They will try to see if I have any trace of infection in the uterine lining. ERA is some sort of genetic test so not the same. Basically if you have an infection in the uterine lining, this night cause m/c. 

Results will be in a week or two. So for now we go forward with FET preparations and when we get fhe results we will evaluate. If I have an infection, I will be put on antibiotics. And might have to wait a cycle. And if I don't have trace of infection, we go forward with FET and I hope that I won't m/c again. 

The RE thinks that the embryo had a genetic defect. So yes, all chromosomes were in place. But some of the genes were messed up. This doesn't make me feel very confident. 

But at this point, I don't know what else to do. 

***TW***
Today I found out that a girl I know is pregnant. She's 43 years old. And also single. I don't know what she did. I'm guessing IUI or IVF. I'll be meeting her in 2 weeks to talk. 

On one hand, it made me very hopeful. And on the other hand a little upset. Why is it working for everyone else around me but not me...  She's suppose to give birth at the end of July and I was suppose to give birth in mid October. 

Hopeful_mom

Prudence9 thanks for the info.  really need to bring this up to my RE as my babies were growing and fine last i saw them why i need to make sure its not me!  how close a friend is this girl?  Imagine if it was a one night stand...i feel like it happens for everyone else too.  Even here everyone that got preggers at the same time as me is doing fine...which is great but why must it always be me   If shes due in July that means her miracle happened in Oct, i was due in Aug.  Does she know what shes having?  Hopefully its going well for her.

prudence9-2

@hopeful_mom yeah definitely ask about infections in uterine lining. With a biopsy they can find it.  I'm still spotting from the biopsy on Friday though. 

she's not a very close friend and I doubt it's a one night stand because she's a lesbian. She's having a girl. I'm happy for her. And it makes me hopeful. I just hope this time will also work for me! 

Hopeful_mom

Prudence9 lmao!!  thats an amazing update shes a lesbian so its not a one night stand....u never kno  I pm u to send questions pls...want to make sure i dont miss anything to ask my RE.


AFM: I've been so crazed at work but I did get some good news that all 3 of my lil embabies made it as day 5 blasts.  I won't lie that i'm very nervous with the grading of them...5BA, 5BB and 5BC.  I still have to pray that i can get some normies back as last cycle my normies were 5AA BUT a 5BA too, so I'm trying to hope on that.  They seemed to be doing better previously...mama is always going to worry about her babies no matter the size right

prudence9-2

@hopeful_mom in 2 weeks I'll meet her and I'll find out  I'll check my inbox in about 1-2 hours...

that is sooooo great that all 3 made it to blast!!!! And don't worry about the grading. My worst one was a 5BB  and it actually came back normal!! So you never know! 

Hopeful_mom

Prudence9 i kno i kno i kno....but u kno i find anything to keep stressing over...one minute i'm fine and everything is all good in the hood!!  and then its not 

prudence9-2

@hopeful_mom yeah yeah I know. The wait for the PGS results is terrible. But the fact that all of them made it to blast is pretty impressive. In my case less than 50% made it from day 3 to day 5! 

But yeah, until you get the results... what a torture!!! 

prudence9-2

@Hopeful_mom check your inbox 

littledarlins

Well my retrieval of the one follicle went fine and they said the egg was mature emough, but as of today, it had not fertilized yet.  I know that usually happens in the first 24 hours, but it can happen later, and they said they will let me know on Wednesday.  ugh.  I am praying for a miracle, and really just that the doctor will be willing to go another round. Does anyone know of eggs fertilizing after the first 24 hours? 

prudence9-2

@littledarlins oh no! I'm so sorry to hear that! FX it will still get fertilized!

Hopeful_mom

@littledarlins hoping it perks up and fertilizes for you!

LoveDontCostAThing

@littledarlins -I hope it fertilizes!!!

@hopeful_mom -all 3 made it to blast...that is great!  I think that is a good sign.  How many made it to blast last time?  When will you get the results?

@Prudence9 -that is hopeful news from your friend.  I think it will work for you.  From your signature, looks like you've only had one transfer so far, and it was a bfp.  I think that is a good sign that your body can get pregnant.  Your dr. is probably right that is was a gene issue.  Remember, a lot of people do many rounds of ivf.  I hope that's not the case for you, BUT your body can get pregnant.

AFM, I have my second OB appointment on Thursday!  Not sure what they will do at this one, but now I am used to frequent monitoring, so I'm becoming too dependent on ultrasounds to assure everything is okay.  If they don't do one, they should at least be able to do the doppler!

prudence9-2

@LoveDontCostAThing yeah, my friend's news made me very hopeful!!! 

Very exciting about your ultrasound on Thurs! 

Im also scheduled for an ultrasound on Thurs. That's when I have the baseline appt for the next FET cycle! 

LoveDontCostAThing

@Prudence9 -that's exciting!  I am really hoping you do your FET this cycle!!!  For you and @hopeful_mom ...I stumbled upon this while perusing different boards on here:

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12693027/mthfr-gene-mutation-and-pregnancy#latest

prudence9-2

@LoveDontCostAThing thanks I hope so too! 

As for the MTHFR, my RE doesn't want to test for it. I think that @hopeful_mom was tested and she has it but her RE doesn't think it's a problem. 

littledarlins

THank you @Hopeful_mom (again!) and @Prudence9 and @LoveDontCostAThing.  I hope will hear today, but I think the doc is willing to go another round, which is what I really was hoping for.  I had alot wrong with this cycle and I am sure it hurt things.  But you never know, we might get a miracle!
I was thinking I am appreciating that this thread is not a month specific thread because we are all at different phases and the month ones peter out.  
This last retrieval was the first time I really felt it that I was alone in this. Maybe even if you are married it feels like it too.  

Hopeful_mom when is your next news report, is this a 10 day wait thing?  

Prudence9 i hope your baseline goes well and that you have a bunch of happy follicles ready to go.    

LoveDontCostaTHing, I imagine it is a good sign if they dont feel they need to keep scanning, but I hope they give you something!

prudence9-2

@littledarlins I hope you get good news today! FX!!! 

My baseline is actually the opposite of the IVF one. I think they want to see nothing there. I've been injecting Lupron for over a week now. So it should make my ovaries inactive.... 

and yeah, I agree with your thoughts about this thread as opposed to the monthly ones. 

I know what you mean about being lonely in this journey... 

littledarlins

@Prudence9 oh!  Differente baseline all together!  I hope it looks good.

Hopeful_mom

littledarlins Really glad the dr is still on board as I think they should be.  Especially if you're paying OOP and you're the one still willing to go through it.  Try and take care of yourself this round!  I think you mentioned you were breathing in bad things?  I used to smoke here and there and now I go out of my way not to breathe second hand in.  Now if I could only crub all the tasty bad food i eat

100% agree about the boards i feel like i'm always the last one on it till the very end and keep going back...I'm way too loyal  The IVF board use to go for 2 months, when I first joined I didn't get it but now I do and someone switched that up to monthly so I think that stinks too...always happy to have a homebase!! @prudence9 And so you ladies kno I may have an OH BUT he's away so much that I'm very much alone in this process as well but lucky to have a very supportive family when needed as now then kno the ordeal of IVF.

@LoveDontCostAThing thanks so much for that thread!  I remember when the girl who made it finally became pregant with twins and that found out about the positive...I have to ask her if she was taking anything different as I dont think so.  So hopefully there is hope and this isn't an issue for me.  I believe shes in her 3rd trimester on bed rest though...its so great.  Shes got one and one cookin!  She was just a lil ahead of me and we were on the same board...how i wish I was still there sigh.....  So you got me all excited on finding out the sex when is that happening?

AFM:  Will go in for bw tomorrow and see if I should start the patch, I kind of decided the only way I would do a transfer is if ALL my lil embabies come back normal and we kno the likelihood of that...so i'm going to move forward with another cycle and see what happens.  Trust me I wish I was already transferring but something in my gut is saying I should do one more.  I can certainly tell you its not my bank account though