Is anyone planning on co-sleeping the first few months? I keep going back and forth on whether I want to co-sleep, or just have the bassinet right next to my side of the bed for night time feedings.
Last time I started with DS in a bassinet but found the twist lift every 2 hrs was hurting my back. We switched to an on bed co-sleeper basket. I loved it and will use it from the beginning this time. The one we have is a Snuggle Nest.
I had a love/hate relationship with my maternity leave. I hated having to figure out stuff to do everyday but I was NOT ready to get back to my daily grind of traveling 100% for work.
I personally needed the time time to get stuff figured out. Breastfeeding, pumping, cloth diapers, etc took me some effort. It would have been more difficult to adjust if I was back to work right away.
@wifeinraleigh28 We co-slept for the first few months. It made night nursing much easier for me. I felt like I could actually get some sleep! We will most likely do it again with this one
I look forward to bonding with LO, but I dread the likely GERD/colic/allergies. With DS I would just sob while holding a hysterical newborn as I thought I was failing at motherhood. I wanted a baby so badly, yet it didn't feel like he wanted me (Note: Not true of course). My leave was "easier" with DD, but I'm guessing because I expected it wouldn't be easy. Fulfilling? Of course! Easy? Nope Nope Nope
My job is very stressful and being a working parent in general is not enjoyable for me. I feel like I'm not doing either job (motherhood or career) to 100%. When DD was born, I had 12 weeks for leave and reduced DS from full-time (5 days a week) at daycare to part-time (2 days to hold his spot). I LOVED that time with both of them. I will do the same when this LO gets here. For my family it worked, but for others it might not.
I didn't co-sleep with either baby. I was so paranoid about having the baby in the bed and then reflux made it impossible. We put LO in a bassinet next to our bed. Because both kids had bad GERD, we kept them in our room until we got things under control with a mix of medication and adjustments to my diet (I was breastfeeding).
I'm a FTM who struggled with infertility and it pains me to think that I might not enjoy my maternity leave. I've been in the work force for 13 years now and all I want to do right now is take a break so I can be a mom. I am SO looking forward to my maternity leave and I cannot wait for my little one to get here, no matter how hard it might be!!
@wifeinraleigh28, I loved my time home with baby so much that I ultimately became a SAHM, which I never expected to do. Anything is possible!
First day back with my students and I am ready to walk out. I have 4 that are just absolutely impossible to deal with and I am at my wits end. I honestly never have struggled with behaviors as much as I have this year.
Married 12/17/2011 K born 8/31/12 C born 1/11/14 BFP #3 Nov 2014: D&C January 2015 BFP #4 Sept 2016: Due May 31 2017
I've been very anxious about my baby, not feeling pregnant, felt movement then it stopped for over a week, etc but had my 16w (16w6d really) appt today and he did an u/s to find the heartbeat (I didn't ask/request)... 138 bpm, so much bigger than our NT scan, and found out I have an anterior placenta (oh joy, more paranoia to come!).
Just feeling so much better to have seen him and heard his heartbeat today!
Anyone have experience with Group B Strep (GBS)? I feel like we talked about this a while back but I can't find the post. I saw my doctor today for another (possible) UTI and it turns out my first UTI was not just a UTI but GBS (and they didn't tell me that?!). Seems like it's no big deal and just requires antibiotics during labor but I can't help but be anxious.
@mamaelle27, I was GBS+ with DD1, but not DD2. The antibiotics were no big deal. Evidence Based Birth did an article on GBS, if you're looking for some more information.
@michaela080 - I'm glad you're feeling better and received good news today. @BelhurstBride - Is your appointment tomorrow or Thursday? I hope you get some good news there @awoodruff27 - I'm glad you haven't had anymore bleeding. Hopefully things stay that way
@mamaelle27, like @BelhurstBride said you just have to get a bag of some antibiotics during labor. I was GBS with my first but not my second. It wasn't a big thing.
Married 12/17/2011 K born 8/31/12 C born 1/11/14 BFP #3 Nov 2014: D&C January 2015 BFP #4 Sept 2016: Due May 31 2017
Is anyone planning on co-sleeping the first few months? I keep going back and forth on whether I want to co-sleep, or just have the bassinet right next to my side of the bed for night time feedings.
I usually co-sleep the first four months. I breastfeed and side-lying nursing allows me to get a lot of sleep. If I wasn't breastfeeding then I'd probably just have them near me in a bassinet.
Anyone have experience with Group B Strep (GBS)? I feel like we talked about this a while back but I can't find the post. I saw my doctor today for another (possible) UTI and it turns out my first UTI was not just a UTI but GBS (and they didn't tell me that?!). Seems like it's no big deal and just requires antibiotics during labor but I can't help but be anxious.
I had it with DD. It was no biggie...just need drugs during labor. I will caution that my hospital wouldn't give me the epidural until the first dose of antibiotics was in which I wasn't pleased about so ask that in advance! Also once your water breaks you need to go directly to the hospital...mine didn't break until I was admitted and 6cm but that's not the case for everyone. Also, let go of any dreams of laboring or delivering in a tub if you have them...once your water breaks you can't be in the water anymore because that makes it easier to transmit to the baby.
Tonight when I was walking to my car from work a complete stranger congratulated me on my pregnancy. I'm only 16.5 weeks! I mean this started happening around 24 weeks last time but COME ON. I know I should consider myself lucky to be in shape normally and to only gain pregnancy weight in my belly. I know this. But my belly was still just about flat at 16 weeks last time so wtf body.
To be fair, this was a super classy gentleman who after congratulating me said that he wished he was the father, so.
Goddammit.
Also I guess I better tell my boss now, though I guess if a stranger noticed it (while I was wearing a loose sweater dress and a leather jacket over it) I assume he has already figured it out.
@motherofdragons is it better or worse that I have natural DDs on a relatively small frame when not pregnant, so people cat call me related to my giant boobs regardless of my uterine status? I have to walk past a city train station to get to my parking deck from work, and a bunch of let's say "undesirables" loiter there all the time, and they would literally cat call me and try to pick me up when I was 9 months pregnant with DD. HAVE SOME COMMON DECENCY PEOPLE. By the end of that pregnancy I was getting pretty salty with them. They're lucky I don't carry mace.
Though that was probably less annoying than well-meaning strangers asking when I was due and then telling me labor horror stories about people they knew. Which also happened almost daily last time. At least this time when I tell them it's my second kid they should assume I already know what labor is like and don't need to be informed about it.
@delujm0 That is awful. Some people need a muzzle. And WHY do people tell you the absolute worst labor stories? In general, why share the horror stories? Marriage, kids, home buying, etc. be positive and joyful, damn.
@delujm0 and @Mother0fDragons speaking of interesting comments, a coworker saw me after two weeks off and said "oh you are really starting to show, before it looked like you just ate too many cheeseburgers". Um thanks? People are so weird!
Married 12/17/2011 K born 8/31/12 C born 1/11/14 BFP #3 Nov 2014: D&C January 2015 BFP #4 Sept 2016: Due May 31 2017
Put me in the I enjoyed my maternity leave camp. My first was harder than my second. I had a c section with my first and my recovery was hard but my DD was a good baby and I loved every second of nursing and cuddling all day. My second was born at the end of November so it was nice being off for all the holidays. I also had a natural birth and awesome recovery so I just felt better. DD1 was in daycare and I continued to send her part time for the routine and so I could bond and relax with the baby. I took 12-16 weeks with both before returning to work. This time I'm a SAHM and we have moved a couple hours away from family so I'm a little nervous about being home with 2 active toddlers and less help. The newborn stage is kind of my favorite and I'm worried it's going to be hard to juggle it all.
On the cosleeing question. I kept both babes in our room in a bassinet for the first 4ish months. I had a hard time nursing in bed so I usually got up and went to the nursery to nurse in my glider and do diaper changes. I was always way too nervous to co sleep with newborn. We took a lot of naps together but never night time sleep.
I told one of my coworkers that I was pregnant before Christmas, and her response "I knew you were pregnant! Your face was broken out a few weeks ago, and that never happens!" WTF thanks for noticing.
One of my co-workers is about 6 months pregnant. She went shopping last week and someone told her how cute she looked. Sweet, right? Then they asked her how she felt about being a teen mom.... She's in her thirties. Why does being pregnant give people license to ask such ignorant things? I would have replied with "how do you feel about being an ignorant twat".
@motherofdragons Honestly when I was like 26 and my DD was a year old someone suggested I was too young to have her because they thought I was 18 and I wasn't really mad.
So several people seem to be taking my post a page back as a "maternity leave isn't a joy". I was purely responding to a comment someone made that came across to me as "gee my childless paid time off was great and I don't want to go back to work... Bring on maternity leave". To me that read as maternity leave being like a vacation. I have known both men and women to genuinely believe that. A male coworker said to me while I was pregnant with DD that "it must be nice getting to go on vacation for 6 months in less than 2 years (referencing my 3 months off with DS just 1.5 years prior + looming 3 months off with DD)".
Maternity leave is enjoyable, but it is not a vacation. Everyone here should look forward to that special bonding time with their LO, but please don't expect it to be easy. Hopefully it is, but it's OK if it isn't. It is the most rewarding time, but it is hard work. I had this perfect image of life with my newborn in my head. I would spend the day laughing and gazing at my cooing bundle. I would cradle my baby as he/she slept peacefully in my arms and then transfer him/her to the crib so I could do some laundry or eat a legit meal. We would meet friends for coffee and LO would blissfully sleep through it. Did any of this happen? Well I vividly remember being covered in vomit while frantically hushing and begging my newborn to just sleep for 5 minutes so I could pee or eat something other than a cracker. I canceled plans with friends because I knew my baby would scream the entire outing and I didn't feel comfortable BFing in public yet. I was making emergency trips to the doctor or seeing a billion specialists to figure out why my baby was in distress.
It is 100% possible to love your leave and be exhausted by it. I look forward to having that privilege again. I just don't want any FTMs to go into leave with unrealistic expectations as I did. Because I did, I felt like a failure as a FTM. I really struggled to reconcile the feelings of simultaneous joy at my baby's presence and frustration at my apparent inability to soothe my LO. Plus I was sleepless, struggling to recover myself from delivery and unable to get what I considered basic tasks done. I struggled, but I loved it. Wouldn't trade it for the world.
Totally agree @Elyse1384. Maternity leave is not a vacation. Everyone has a different experience and expectations definitely play a role. I definitely don't mean to gloss anything over.
I would never call maternity leave a vacation (that's ridiculous, unless you have a nightmare of a job), but I will say that I enjoyed mine so much that it was enough to turn me into a SAHM!
I was fortunate to have four months off for leave, and I thought I was ready to go back. As soon as I returned to work, however, I knew I needed to be done, or at least have an ending date. (I was an absolute mess.) I worked for four more months (DH wanted to have a little more time to save; plus I couldn't just quit) and finally had my last day about two weeks ago. I still feel sad about those four months sometimes, but an busy 8-month old is more than enough distraction at times!
RE: cosleeping. DS slept in our room (in a pack n play) until about 10 weeks, then to his room in the crib. He was already taking his naps in the crib, though, so it was an easy transition. We all slept better - he began sleeping through the night within a few weeks of making the change.
@Elyse1384 I actually think your post brought up a good perspective but also allowed others to share theirs. I think far too often the less desirable side of motherhood is swept under the rug and this can be isolating for new moms that don't feel like maternity leave is all rainbows and sunshine.
I've enjoyed reading everyone's experiences. This would have been awesome my first time around.
Maternity leave is a mix for me. On one hand, it's nice to be off and not working and getting to bond with the new baby. On the other, it's very stressful because I'm the breadwinner and only one working (my fiancée is a SAHD and full time college student) and all my maternity leaves have been unpaid and therefore I freak out about paying bills while I'm off. With DD1, I took 6 weeks off and DD2 I took 4. No idea what I'll be able to do with this one.
This is a shit your toddler says post. This morning my son asks for "mama milkie" (breastfeeding). He weaned about a month ago. I told him there was probably no more milk. He tries one side and gives me a puzzled look, and asks for the other side. He then looks up at me and goes "whered it go?". I said theres no more milk now but when baby gets here the baby will drink the milk. He leans down to my belly and says "Baby no milkie. Milkie all gone." Then pulls my shirt back down and pats my belly like sorry kid, out of luck.
My phone alarms decided to only vibrate this morning, so I slept through *3* of them, and woke up 15 minutes after I should have left. My son was awake and just playing away in his room (when he ALWAYS wakes me up if I'm sleeping). I don't think I have ever gotten ready so fast in my life. Luckily DH didn't have to be anywhere until 1, so I abruptly woke him up and told him he needed to get DS ready and off to daycare, and ran out the door.
I guess I should be grateful I actually got a full night sleep instead of my usual 2am pregnancy insomnia wake up, but damn, that's not the way to start the morning. No beakfast, no time to pack a lunch. I'm going to be digging through my snack drawer for a horribly unhealthy meal today.
I'm working from home today, and have a weird urge to make blondies. I even have all of the ingredients. This could be dangerous (but yummy). Off to dig up the recipe...
@BelhurstBride The abdominal pain finally subsided this weekend and I haven't been sick/lost more weight. I go in next Wednesday so hopefully baby is OK. I would really appreciate a flutter from LO right about now, but alas... nothing. It is still early for movement (17w) so I'm trying to not be a crazy person. FX for you today!
Re: Randoms 1/2-1/9
I personally needed the time time to get stuff figured out. Breastfeeding, pumping, cloth diapers, etc took me some effort. It would have been more difficult to adjust if I was back to work right away.
@wifeinraleigh28 We co-slept for the first few months. It made night nursing much easier for me. I felt like I could actually get some sleep! We will most likely do it again with this one
Mom to Madison- 5 and Lillian 2....and now surprise baby #3!
I imagine even if you co-sleep you still have to get out of bed for diaper changes... but it still sounds a bit easier.
Me: 34, DH: 38 ~ TTC since 2014
IUI #1-3 (Nov 2015, Feb 2016, May 2016) = BFNs
IVF ER (July 2016) = 7 PGS normal embryos
FET #1 (Sept 2016) = BFP! DD born 5/30/17
FET #2 (April 2019) = BFN
FET #3 (July 2019) = BFP! DS born 3/27/20
DH: 29
DS: 18 months 4/2/2015
Baby #2 EDD: 6/1/2017
My job is very stressful and being a working parent in general is not enjoyable for me. I feel like I'm not doing either job (motherhood or career) to 100%. When DD was born, I had 12 weeks for leave and reduced DS from full-time (5 days a week) at daycare to part-time (2 days to hold his spot). I LOVED that time with both of them. I will do the same when this LO gets here. For my family it worked, but for others it might not.
I didn't co-sleep with either baby. I was so paranoid about having the baby in the bed and then reflux made it impossible. We put LO in a bassinet next to our bed. Because both kids had bad GERD, we kept them in our room until we got things under control with a mix of medication and adjustments to my diet (I was breastfeeding).
K born 8/31/12
C born 1/11/14
BFP #3 Nov 2014: D&C January 2015
BFP #4 Sept 2016: Due May 31 2017
I've been very anxious about my baby, not feeling pregnant, felt movement then it stopped for over a week, etc but had my 16w (16w6d really) appt today and he did an u/s to find the heartbeat (I didn't ask/request)... 138 bpm, so much bigger than our NT scan, and found out I have an anterior placenta (oh joy, more paranoia to come!).
Just feeling so much better to have seen him and heard his heartbeat today!
@mamaelle27, I was GBS+ with DD1, but not DD2. The antibiotics were no big deal. Evidence Based Birth did an article on GBS, if you're looking for some more information.
DD2 8.22.13
MMC 1.4.17 at 16w
Expecting #3, EDD 1.29.18
@BelhurstBride - Is your appointment tomorrow or Thursday? I hope you get some good news there
@awoodruff27 - I'm glad you haven't had anymore bleeding. Hopefully things stay that way
K born 8/31/12
C born 1/11/14
BFP #3 Nov 2014: D&C January 2015
BFP #4 Sept 2016: Due May 31 2017
DD2 8.22.13
MMC 1.4.17 at 16w
Expecting #3, EDD 1.29.18
To be fair, this was a super classy gentleman who after congratulating me said that he wished he was the father, so.
Goddammit.
Also I guess I better tell my boss now, though I guess if a stranger noticed it (while I was wearing a loose sweater dress and a leather jacket over it) I assume he has already figured it out.
Yup. Someone at work couldn't believe how big my boobs were. I told her I was pregnant and she said she knew something had to have happened.
Sigh. Come on, people. Come on.
Though that was probably less annoying than well-meaning strangers asking when I was due and then telling me labor horror stories about people they knew. Which also happened almost daily last time. At least this time when I tell them it's my second kid they should assume I already know what labor is like and don't need to be informed about it.
K born 8/31/12
C born 1/11/14
BFP #3 Nov 2014: D&C January 2015
BFP #4 Sept 2016: Due May 31 2017
On the cosleeing question. I kept both babes in our room in a bassinet for the first 4ish months. I had a hard time nursing in bed so I usually got up and went to the nursery to nurse in my glider and do diaper changes. I was always way too nervous to co sleep with newborn. We took a lot of naps together but never night time sleep.
Maternity leave is enjoyable, but it is not a vacation. Everyone here should look forward to that special bonding time with their LO, but please don't expect it to be easy. Hopefully it is, but it's OK if it isn't. It is the most rewarding time, but it is hard work. I had this perfect image of life with my newborn in my head. I would spend the day laughing and gazing at my cooing bundle. I would cradle my baby as he/she slept peacefully in my arms and then transfer him/her to the crib so I could do some laundry or eat a legit meal. We would meet friends for coffee and LO would blissfully sleep through it. Did any of this happen? Well I vividly remember being covered in vomit while frantically hushing and begging my newborn to just sleep for 5 minutes so I could pee or eat something other than a cracker. I canceled plans with friends because I knew my baby would scream the entire outing and I didn't feel comfortable BFing in public yet. I was making emergency trips to the doctor or seeing a billion specialists to figure out why my baby was in distress.
It is 100% possible to love your leave and be exhausted by it. I look forward to having that privilege again. I just don't want any FTMs to go into leave with unrealistic expectations as I did. Because I did, I felt like a failure as a FTM. I really struggled to reconcile the feelings of simultaneous joy at my baby's presence and frustration at my apparent inability to soothe my LO. Plus I was sleepless, struggling to recover myself from delivery and unable to get what I considered basic tasks done. I struggled, but I loved it. Wouldn't trade it for the world.
I was fortunate to have four months off for leave, and I thought I was ready to go back.
As soon as I returned to work, however, I knew I needed to be done, or at least have an ending date. (I was an absolute mess.) I worked for four more months (DH wanted to have a little more time to save; plus I couldn't just quit) and finally had my last day about two weeks ago. I still feel sad about those four months sometimes, but an busy 8-month old is more than enough distraction at times!
RE: cosleeping. DS slept in our room (in a pack n play) until about 10 weeks, then to his room in the crib. He was already taking his naps in the crib, though, so it was an easy transition. We all slept better - he began sleeping through the night within a few weeks of making the change.
I've enjoyed reading everyone's experiences. This would have been awesome my first time around.
I guess I should be grateful I actually got a full night sleep instead of my usual 2am pregnancy insomnia wake up, but damn, that's not the way to start the morning. No beakfast, no time to pack a lunch. I'm going to be digging through my snack drawer for a horribly unhealthy meal today.
BFP #1 6/13 DD 3/14
Mirena 10/14-5/16
BFP #2 9/2/16, CP confirmed 9/8/16
BFP #3 10/10/16 EDD 6/22/17
@Elyse1384, how are you feeling? When is your next appointment?
DD2 8.22.13
MMC 1.4.17 at 16w
Expecting #3, EDD 1.29.18
K born 8/31/12
C born 1/11/14
BFP #3 Nov 2014: D&C January 2015
BFP #4 Sept 2016: Due May 31 2017