Don't stress about not being prepared yet!! Honestly, all you truly need to begin with is a carseat, bassinet/crib, clothes & diapers.. The rest you can get in due time.
I've got my son's Infant carseat as a backup, but I'm hoping to buy the newer model before baby is here. Our car seat still has a few years before it expires, but the newer model has a few modifications I'd like to have... Anyone else weird about reusing a carseat/wanting the newest model? I know it's not suuuuuper necessary but now that I'm having to place both kids on the outside seats, it worries me and I'd like as much protection as possible. Then again I'm also a ridiculous worrier.
@kswiger06. My one advice on considering travel is would you be able to stay in that area if you delivered while there. I was cleared to travel up until 36 weeks with my first and had flights booked for 2 interviews the week of 35 weeks. I went in for my 34 week appt and quickly things changed and ended up delivering at 35w2d. I had lots of canceling to do for that week! I also have a friend who was traveling out of state on vacation at 28 weeks and delivered there. They had to figure out how to stay there until baby could come home. Just giving you some more reasons to try to get out of you want. Otherwise make sure you are up and walking or moving your legs as often as possible to prevent blood clots
Well, between @PerraSucia and @foxrosy, catching up on this thread made me legit LOL. Campus is really quiet today...might start doing some cannonballs to liven things up.
+1 on team "not prepared." We have a lot of the big stuff, but lack a lot of the finishing touches. (Like, I have a crib with a mattress in it, but that mattress is sheet-less.) I know my parents bought a lot of remaining stuff on our registry for us for Christmas, so I'm hoping that once we get back home over the holidays, I'll feel vaguely ready to whip things into shape. Though right now I am finding it difficult to even exist as an actual human person, so we'll see how that goes...
Me: 34 Husband: 35 Married: June 2007
Son Max born 1/10/17 BFP #2: 10/5/17; EDD: 6/11/18
I went shopping with my single, childless friend whose never before been pregnant yesterday. I thought I looked decent enough, I wore H's shirt which is small for him but oh so comfy for me, with some leggings and boots. I didn't think the outfit looked sloppy or thrown together. I just wanted something long and comfy to cover the coochie bc leggings, and there's no way in hell I'm shopping for hours in jeans. Throughout the day, she kept making comments like "I'm gonna dress so cute when I get pregnant. I'll never look like those tired women walking around" and "do you have to wear maternity clothes while you're pregnant? I just can't imagine wearing that stuff while regular clothes are so much cuter." I told her you don't have to wear maternity clothes, but you're going to want to because everything else is so uncomfortable. And she follows up with "is your shirt maternity? It looks a bit big on you." And I said no it's H's and she was like "oh. That's what I figured." Like omg leave me alone she has no idea. We were supposed to be Christmas shopping for others but she managed to only buy herself an outfit and some makeup, then ditch me in the men's department while I shopped for H because men's stuff was boring.
@scottipino thank you for sharing, and for the suggestions, and advice/tips.
@LivingLaVidaGinger I'm not sure about everyone else, but for me, once we had kids it seemed like we just fell into making new friends. I hope you get to someday remind your friend of this while she's pregnant and in sweats.
@LivingLaVidaGinger she has no idea, and that was completely rude. I only have one childless friend left, for me it was hard not to grow apart because it truely is a different world after you have kids.
Lol @LC12261012 I didn't want to make FTMs sad about losing their single, non mom friends. But I agree, I had a friend call me and ask if my husband could watch our son, so I could go clubbing with her... I was like ummm no. And we drifted apart pretty quickly after that. The good news though is that if people take their babies to library reads/activities or the park, and especially when school starts, it's really easy to make friends with similar life styles.
ETA: not only the clubbing, but she expected me to make it an all nighter. Her words were something like "do you think (husband) will watch (son) so you can go out clubbing with me, and then just stay at my house until the next day?"
And she also told me she can't wait till I "pop this baby out" so I can find a sitter and we can go out drinking again. Does she genuinely think that I'm going to want to get trashed immediately after I give birth? No. Just no.
@LivingLaVidaGinger I was just thinking about friends like that the other day. My friend was pinning all these super cute maternity outfits and I was legit wearing leggings, cowboy boots (because they're the only shoes with comfy enough soles that I can survive the entire day in) and H's oversized hockey sweatshirt. I was only hanging out at the house, but I could only have imagined her eye roll if she'd have seen me.
Random unrelated note: My boss just called pumping milking. He's been working to put in a new Mother's room in our building so I don't have to walk outside to pump. I kind of forgive him/his intentions are good...but it got awkward fast.
Awww, @LivingLaVidaGinger's friend definitely sucks, but I totally believe moms can remain friends with the childless! I'm the last in my crew to have kids and I would never expect them to go clubbing but was always happy to hang out with them and chill with their little guys. I was more bummed by a few who ditched me, despite my total willingness to come to them and go at their pace.
Yeah, your friend group is gonna change over the next year, but that's ok. I lost touch with several friends who were just in very different stages of their lives. But you can leave your kid with dad to go out sometimes, too!
@MLRocha for port I would pair with desserts mostly - dark chocolate is ideal. For me whenever I have had port with anything other than sweets, the port just tastes sickly sweet to me. But also some people like to pair it with aged hard cheeses and/or nuts, I think walnuts would be good especially. That's all I've got - not really into sweet wines, so we don't drink it very often.
Also - I'm not prepared at all! My showers aren't until early January, and my hospital classes and tour aren't until late January... freaking out a little....
@PerraSucia that's it, that's the line I was supposed to say. I had it on reserve, but I didn't execute. I have been debating on when to use it as I see my kid kind of...oh dear God...humping the couch or pillows occasionally. I know it's normal, healthy behavior but man it's awkward af. I mostly just blurt, "Thats enough" when it goes on for what I deem is too long. I always imagine dragons being more cool and educational when these situations arose but once again, awkward af. Also, I feel like our boys are kindred spirits. My son may not yell cannon ball but he's always engaging in them. He's a cheeto lover and my biggest mamas boy. And I also refer to him in my mind as an asshole sometimes.
You want a weird blast from the past? Go back a few months in the early HDBDs... I saw a loveit avatar that I didn't recognise, was bored, searched the person, then clicked where they commented in a HDBD from September. I clicked into that thread, it was nuts! We all had these tiny bellies. I was 17 weeks, and I just started feeling the baby move, I said how excited I was but would be complaining by the time 35 weeks rolled around... hahaha I'm about 33 weeks and am already complaining. Gretchypoo had long hair, I was like "Hey! I forgot she got her hair cut!"
+1 to pregnancy dreams! Last night I dreamt that I was at my appointment this coming Thursday. During the ultrasound, the tech said "she is above the 80th percentile for size, she's too big!" The tech then informed me I was already 3cm dilated and would probably go into labor soon. I woke up like WTF...I'm a FTM so I don't even know what is "normal" as far as labor goes at 34 weeks lol.
I successfully argued over the course of the last week about being shorted in some supervision payment. Finally won today and proved the finance department had calculated wrong. Feels so good and all I want is a celebratory drink. I am fine with it but my DH is not so. I wine for me . When I was finalizing Christmas shopping this weekend I may have picked up 4 different bottles of wine to have at home waiting just to be prepared....
I'm kind of getting freaked out about not having my car seat yet. My MIL and FIL have kind of both f***ed up my plans for ordering stuff from Costco. They were supposed to be going together on a crib that grows with the child, but all of the sudden my MIL calls my DH and tells me that his dad won't pitch in for the crib for some stupid ass reason(turns out he thinks it's a dumb idea because "what if the child doesn't want the same bed for X number of years"). So I tell her she can get the baby travel set I had my eye on(which comes with a stroller carseat combo). However now his dad has flip flopped and they might go in together for the crib after all. I need an ANSWER darn it! I am so tempted to tell them, "I appreciate you wanting to help with your first grandbaby, but you know what give me cash, I am running out of time and don't have the luxury of you two duking it out for what to get baby."
If you have a baby tomorrow you are going home without that baby for at least a couple of days so there will be time to stress shop. Last pregnancy I was at target every day on the way home from the NICU because leaving the hospital is hard and wandering target made me feel more prepared.
I wouldn't expect big baby furniture from anyone. That seems to me like my responsibility as the child's parent. And I certainly wouldn't ask for cash if they couldn't come to an agreement on what to buy me.
Expecting gifts from anyone sits poorly with me. Calm your tits, friend.
Nesting is stressful. Someone said it much more eloquently, but babies really don't need all that much initially. My vote is with clean and calm over having all the brand new things.
On another note, my side of the family celebrated Christmas at my mom's house (where I was propped up on the couch all night). It was super nice how people kept getting me drinks and food and sitting by me to keep me included. BUUUT then my dad leaned over and whispered, "Are you dilating?" and I about died.
I've got my birth plan and hospital bag list done. And that's all I'm gonna prep for now. Will probably put the car seat base in at 38 weeks along with getting most of my hospital bag together in addition to DS's just in case overnight bag. I lost a few friends after having DS and it was really hard. But my O14 board was amazing and still is. That's what kept me sane for awhile.
@BeckS13 Nesting and feeling "on hold" is stressful! DH and I agreed to go ahead and buy our carseat, so we could bring him home, and the bassinet (we have had one shower, so amazingly someone did buy that!). But the relief of knowing I had those two basic things was pretty substantial. I second PPs to just buy whatever basics are stressing you, but keep receipts. You can always return if you get duplicates of something!
I think @BeckS13 has more of a people are saying they want to get it, not being gift grabby, but wanting follow through on a better time frame and I get that.
I agree though, you need a car seat more than anything and a place for baby to sleep. Get those and don't stress!
Married - 7/29/06 Ben and Maggie - 4/10/09 Mia - 6/16/11 Surprise! due 2/23/17
but that said I say follow PP advice and just buy what you need. they can either give you $$ after to offset the costs or purchase something else.
sidenote, maybe i am a super asshole mama, but my child doesn't get a say in what kind of bed they want. they get the bed I provide. if at some point down the line say around 10-13 it's time for a new bed and I want their input I will ask. but otherwise ummm, "do you have a place to sleep? yes? then shut up." that's pretty much how it's gonna go down in my house.
Me: 36, H: 37 FTM, 2 Furbabies married 03/17/07 lived in Houston, Austin, Los Angeles and NYC due: 2/15/17
SUbject change, sorry. I've been having a lot of anxiety lately, especially regarding this LO's birth. Partly because I am just prone to anxiety, partly because we've been tapering down my Zoloft, and partly because I've had a crazy B12 deficiency. Anyway, the last couple days I really tried to tackle that and I'm getting excited again for the birth. I have been tailoring my birth playlists and "practicing" to it, reading Ina may, and watching birth videos online. I'm just happy to be back in the " I totally got this" mindset instead of "I'm dooooooomed".
Its been a vicious circle too. As a doula I know how much anxiety can impede labor progress and amplify pain perception, so I've been like "eff- im anxious! I'm totally screwed".
DD1- Aug11 Angel Baby- June13, said goodbye Oct12 DD2- Aug13 DD3- due Feb17
Attorney for the defense: with my firstborn, my dad and stepmom offered to buy all the nursery furniture and then kind of p- footed around about it. I wanted to just go out and buy it myself but my dad, who is an alcoholic would Ave gotten butt hurt.More than butt hurt, really. It would have been a huge thing with a ton of drama. DH and I literally made a pro con list of whether or not to just buy the ish ourselves. We couldn't really ask him about it either because he would fly off the handle. Some people it's not so black and white.
DD1- Aug11 Angel Baby- June13, said goodbye Oct12 DD2- Aug13 DD3- due Feb17
@peachesnbean I'm glad you're getting back into your "zone". Hey, that's amazing to say you're getting excited for the birth... I believe you said you plan on going med free? As time is getting closer, I'm getting terrified lol. I'm completely excited to have our newest addition, but I think because I know what's coming (oh the pains of labor and delivery), I'm starting to doubt myself with my med free plan. I need to borrow some I can do it attitude lol
We picked out their bed/frame but the kids pick out what they want their bed blanket sets to be... our son had "cars" forever from toddler bed until his birthday in September now he has "star wars" and our daughter has been using Disney Princess themed bedding since she realized she could have a "princess bed" lol but they come home from school using this phrase "you get what you get, and you don't throw a fit" I guess it's what the teachers say and it's the first phrase we've adapted to using at home!! Lol
@peachesnbean I'm glad you're getting back into your "zone". Hey, that's amazing to say you're getting excited for the birth... I believe you said you plan on going med free? As time is getting closer, I'm getting terrified lol. I'm completely excited to have our newest addition, but I think because I know what's coming (oh the pains of labor and delivery), I'm starting to doubt myself with my med free plan. I need to borrow some I can do it attitude lol
The plan is another med-free birth. Another (bass-ackwards) reason for my anxiety is I have had two great, dare I say- easy?, labors and deliveries with my first two. I feel like I have something coming to me. Part of getting over my anxiety is to remember that I don't believe in karma but a just, thoughtful God, so I am not "due" for anything other than what God wants from me.
DD1- Aug11 Angel Baby- June13, said goodbye Oct12 DD2- Aug13 DD3- due Feb17
@kswiger06 oh I totally used to use the phrase " you get what you get and you don't get upset" with the younger kids I taught! And I am for sure implementing that in our house as well.
Re: Weekly Randoms (12/19)
I've got my son's Infant carseat as a backup, but I'm hoping to buy the newer model before baby is here. Our car seat still has a few years before it expires, but the newer model has a few modifications I'd like to have... Anyone else weird about reusing a carseat/wanting the newest model? I know it's not suuuuuper necessary but now that I'm having to place both kids on the outside seats, it worries me and I'd like as much protection as possible. Then again I'm also a ridiculous worrier.
+1 on team "not prepared." We have a lot of the big stuff, but lack a lot of the finishing touches. (Like, I have a crib with a mattress in it, but that mattress is sheet-less.) I know my parents bought a lot of remaining stuff on our registry for us for Christmas, so I'm hoping that once we get back home over the holidays, I'll feel vaguely ready to whip things into shape. Though right now I am finding it difficult to even exist as an actual human person, so we'll see how that goes...
Husband: 35
Married: June 2007
Son Max born 1/10/17
BFP #2: 10/5/17; EDD: 6/11/18
Throughout the day, she kept making comments like "I'm gonna dress so cute when I get pregnant. I'll never look like those tired women walking around" and "do you have to wear maternity clothes while you're pregnant? I just can't imagine wearing that stuff while regular clothes are so much cuter." I told her you don't have to wear maternity clothes, but you're going to want to because everything else is so uncomfortable. And she follows up with "is your shirt maternity? It looks a bit big on you." And I said no it's H's and she was like "oh. That's what I figured." Like omg leave me alone she has no idea. We were supposed to be Christmas shopping for others but she managed to only buy herself an outfit and some makeup, then ditch me in the men's department while I shopped for H because men's stuff was boring.
I need married friends.
Married: 9/2013
Love my LEO!!
TTC #1: 9/2015
BFP: 2/1/16 MC 2/8/16 @ 5wks
BFP: 5/22/16 RAINBOW BABY
EDD: 1/30/2017 *IT'S A GIRL!!!!*
Kirsten Grace 1/20/17
Don't get me wrong I have days with super cute outfits, and then there are the sweat pants days, because come on.
@LivingLaVidaGinger I'm not sure about everyone else, but for me, once we had kids it seemed like we just fell into making new friends. I hope you get to someday remind your friend of this while she's pregnant and in sweats.
ETA: not only the clubbing, but she expected me to make it an all nighter. Her words were something like "do you think (husband) will watch (son) so you can go out clubbing with me, and then just stay at my house until the next day?"
And she also told me she can't wait till I "pop this baby out" so I can find a sitter and we can go out drinking again. Does she genuinely think that I'm going to want to get trashed immediately after I give birth? No. Just no.
Random unrelated note: My boss just called pumping milking. He's been working to put in a new Mother's room in our building so I don't have to walk outside to pump. I kind of forgive him/his intentions are good...but it got awkward fast.
First BFP: 12/16/13
EDD: 08/23/14
Baby BOY born: 08/29/14
Also - I'm not prepared at all! My showers aren't until early January, and my hospital classes and tour aren't until late January... freaking out a little....
Also, I feel like our boys are kindred spirits. My son may not yell cannon ball but he's always engaging in them. He's a cheeto lover and my biggest mamas boy. And I also refer to him in my mind as an asshole sometimes.
Nobody has to buy you anything and you sound pretty bratty.
Nesting is stressful. Someone said it much more eloquently, but babies really don't need all that much initially. My vote is with clean and calm over having all the brand new things.
On another note, my side of the family celebrated Christmas at my mom's house (where I was propped up on the couch all night). It was super nice how people kept getting me drinks and food and sitting by me to keep me included. BUUUT then my dad leaned over and whispered, "Are you dilating?" and I about died.
Errr, not currently that I'm aware of, Pops.
I lost a few friends after having DS and it was really hard. But my O14 board was amazing and still is. That's what kept me sane for awhile.
I agree though, you need a car seat more than anything and a place for baby to sleep. Get those and don't stress!
Ben and Maggie - 4/10/09
Mia - 6/16/11
Surprise! due 2/23/17
but that said I say follow PP advice and just buy what you need. they can either give you $$ after to offset the costs or purchase something else.
sidenote, maybe i am a super asshole mama, but my child doesn't get a say in what kind of bed they want. they get the bed I provide. if at some point down the line say around 10-13 it's time for a new bed and I want their input I will ask. but otherwise ummm, "do you have a place to sleep? yes? then shut up." that's pretty much how it's gonna go down in my house.
FTM, 2 Furbabies
married 03/17/07
lived in Houston, Austin, Los Angeles and NYC
due: 2/15/17
Its been a vicious circle too. As a doula I know how much anxiety can impede labor progress and amplify pain perception, so I've been like "eff- im anxious! I'm totally screwed".