@mrsmoose5 - awww, I'm sorry you're dealing with that! I've never had a great bfing relationship with E because I don't make enough and have been bfing, pumping, and formula feeding pretty much her entire life. She has been getting annoyed at the breast the past couple weeks, constantly unlatching. I can't bf in public any more because half the time my boob is hanging out and I'm trying to keep her on. I've been wondering if I should start weaning her off, but I really wanted to make it to six months. DH keeps telling me that if it's stressful for me, then I should just stop, because she picks up on the stress and it's not worth it when she can be healthy on just formula. So I pass that advice to you - if it is that stressful, there is no shame in weaning off. But as a fellow bfing struggler, I understand if you just can't yet. *hugs*
@mrsmoose5 I am sorry that you are having hard time. I actually opened this thread to vent and saw your post. I think we were doing well with BFing and then I started to work. She mostly refuses the bottle unless she is super hungry. And she definitely eats less and less during the day from the breast as well. Her weight gain slowed down since I started to work. She only gained 3 lbs last 2 months, while she was gaining a lb per month. I am not sure if I should call her doctor, or if I do call her I am not sure what the doctor could tell me. I am trying to understand how it would help to give her formula. I always have extra milk in the fridge but she does not get it. I do not know if she would accept the formula though.
@mrsmoose5 You are being way too hard in yourself! Sometimes things like this happen and are out of your control. It sounds like you did everything right, it's exactly what I would have done anyway. It may not work out as planned this go around but as long as she's healthy and thriving then you're doing what needs to be done.
"Fed is best". All of us need to remember that as long as baby is healthy we're doing it right. I imagine it must be tough when you're planning one thing and it doesn't work out. Babies are so finicky sometimes.
Im sorry, I know you're venting and didn't ask for advice, but wondered if youve tried a nipple shield? I dealt with many of the same challenges and tried a nipple shield (love the Medela ones) and it did the trick. I was really down on myself for having to use them at first but whatever makes it easy on both of us!
And like @kvruns once hilariously said--formula isn't battery acid so you do you, mama!
@mrsmoose5 - It can be hard adjusting to a different kid. I know my expectations were the same for #2 and I have been very very wrong. Try to forgive yourself and embrace the new normal. It will be different but not bad. @kristah2 put it well "fed is best".
@zoefer Your issue seems to be more bottle related. Have you tried a different nipple? Or temperature of the milk? I'm not sure who you would contact in that situation but hope it resolves soon. We don't weigh LO so we're in the dark until those monthly appointments. It's kind of nice. One less thing to be consistently worried about.
@mrsmoose5 You are a good mama no matter how she is fed! Thank goodness she's drinking the formula well, because that may eventually help with your peace of mind! "Fed is best" is so true, and she is loved and so beautifully cared for no matter how you feed her. I'm sure it sounds heart breaking not having the same kind of breastfeeding bond as you did with your son, but creating a special relationship with our babies is not dependent on it! You are doing a great job and if you do decide to supplement her at times or always, you are doing such a great job at listening to what SHE needs. Maybe a couple of pumps throughout the day will keep your supply enough so you can continue to nurse at night?
@mrsmoose5 I'm going through the exact same thing and I have no idea why. DS nursed really well for the first month, then his reflux started kicking in and he would spit up and gag while nursing and was clearly uncomfortable. He would go farther and farther between nursing sessions but also nursing really well at night, gaining a ton also. By the time I went back to work last week we were struggling during daytime feeds, with me occasionally pumping and bottle feeding to keep my supply up. Now that I'm back at work things are even worse. He will nurse in the middle of the night but that's it. I come home and he refuses. Over the weekends I don't give him a choice, he will go 5 hours easily without nursing but will eventually give in. I'm not concerned about him eating since he's a fatty, 16lbs, but more concerned about my supply. And I understand about the lack of time to pump, I have a toddler also at home. The only thing is he has had thrush for months, so maybe that's the issue? I'm going to ask the doctor at his 4 month appointment
@erniebernie1 I'm sorry your experiencing this. I know one possible side effect of severe Thrush is that it is painful for LO to eat so that might be contributing to the problem as you suggested. Good luck to you. Hope things improve.
@lajoliedreamer I totally know what you mean about not being able to BF in public! I thought I would have to with this LO, and I've tried a few times, but HECK NO! With all of her latching/unlatching, squirming, and my overactive boobs spraying milk everywhere ... no way lol. That's good that your DH is so supportive of you if you decide to switch to formula ... I know mine would be too, but sometimes he says things like, "I know you; you won't give up" which I know he means it in a nice way, but it sort of just puts more pressure on me to keep trying.
@hoosiermama I haven't tried a nipple shield yet, but maybe that will be next? I think a lot of the reason why I don't try a nipple shield or just completely stop BFing and switch to formula is because there are times she will BF wonderfully. Sometimes we have entire days where BFing goes smoothly (not often), so I feel like she can and will do it, but the stars just have to align I guess. After not nursing all day, we had a wonderful nursing session right before she went to bed tonight ... it's just all so confusing. I think maybe I'll pick up a nipple shield and have it on hand to try during those times when she is refusing.
@kvruns "Formula is not battery acid" made me laugh! Sometimes as moms, we're made to feel like it is though, aren't we?
@erniebernie1 I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one going through this! So annoying, right? My girl is a chunk too, now over 15 pounds. I think she is gaining well (she's going into 9 month clothes now), and she has lots of wet diapers, but I just feel like it's not ok for her to be going 4-5 hours between daytime feedings at 4 months old. It also makes it really hard to get into any sort of rhythm with naps, feedings, etc. because I never know when she will be hungry, when she will be hungry AND also want to nurse, if I should have a bottle warm and ready, if I should pump, etc. She has her 4 month appointment tomorrow morning, so I'll see what her pedi says about it. Good luck to you and your LO!
Thank you so much, everyone, for all your comments. Today was a really hard day, but I'm so glad I have this community here for support
@mrsmoose5 I totally get it!!!! I'm in a similar position and just this week stopped nursing. My LO would act the same way when latched and would only nurse from one side. I was only nursing him in the morning. I'm pumping still but my supply is gone by way down and I know part of it is due to stress of not producing enough! We need to remember that fed is best and these little ones are going to continue to be happy and healthy! But man alive why is the guilt so heavy?!
Sorry to hear about everyone going through this. BFing is hard! I had issues with S latching and used a nipple shield from the beginning. There is nothing wrong with using it. I would also recommend seeing a lactation consultant. I was watching videos and reading on how a baby should latch and I feel like they were misleading. Every baby latches differently and my LO didn't latch like what I was seeing online. The LC helped out greatly and I've been able to BF without the shield for months now. It might even help to start with the shield and pull off mid session.
I also feel like LO has been latching and unlatching often, or pushing away while nursing. Some of it for us I think is him getting distracted, plus learning that he can use his arms for stuff but not fully being able to control it yet. Sometimes it helps if I let him hold or push and pull on my hand while he's nursing so he has something else to push and pull on. I am also nervous about the effects of all this in supply!
I recently bought a couple teething necklaces to wear while bfing so she has something to hold onto and play with. I've only worn one once so far and she played with it a bit, but still was latching and unlatching. We'll see if it helps in the long run, but I thought I'd pass it on to you all in case it would help!
I recently bought a couple teething necklaces to wear while bfing so she has something to hold onto and play with. I've only worn one once so far and she played with it a bit, but still was latching and unlatching. We'll see if it helps in the long run, but I thought I'd pass it on to you all in case it would help!
I don't really get the teething necklace thing because then wouldn't the baby try to chew/grab any necklaces he/she sees? Or am I missing something? I know they're popular but I've always wondered that
I guess for me, I like to wear necklaces and she is going to try to grab and chew on them anyway so I might as well get a couple that I think look nice and are safe for her to do that. I didn't think about how it might affect how she sees all other necklaces.
@mrsmoose5 I was reading up on nursing strikes it said nursing while moving might help, so yesterday I tried nursing in my rocker while rocking and DS did great all day! May just be a fluke but thought I would share
DD had her 4 month appt. yesterday and her pedi wasn't concerned with her going so long in between nursing sessions. Although her growth percentages have gone down, the dr basically said "what I see in front of me is a healthy, happy baby who is growing, so I'm not concerned." That made me feel better. I also noticed on the 4-month print out they gave me that it says to nurse every 4-5 hours, so I guess that's normal? I just remember DS being older before he went that long between feeds? Anyway, she nursed GREAT all day yesterday and is going strong with it today too - yay! I'm really just trying to trust her and respect that if she refuses, she's just not hungry and that's ok. Whew ...
LO coslept with us last night because he's sick and can't keep the pacifier in very well. Plus he's super fussy the last few days and just wants to hold hands with me or H while sleeping (it's the sweetest thing!). Last night he slept so long! He ate from the right side around 7, then the left around 1 and didn't fully wake for another feed from the right until almost 6! And I had to pretty much wake him up for that feed because my right boob was about to explode. Sometimes the only eating from one side thing kills!
Ladies, do you LOs also like to nurse to sleep / nap?
I'm fine with it, I'm not (yet) attempting to change that but I'm wondering what do you do when it's time to nap and you can't do it? For example, when we're traveling by car and I can't stop to take him out. Or we go for a walk with the stroller and he wants to have the 5-minute nursing session to doze off... I tried pacified, a bit of tea, finger, talking etc. but he just cries more intensely. It takes 10-15 minutes for him to stop but that's just him giving up and I hate that... (I'm really not a fan of CIO).
Ladies, do you LOs also like to nurse to sleep / nap?
I'm fine with it, I'm not (yet) attempting to change that but I'm wondering what do you do when you it's time to nap and you can't do it? For example, when we're traveling by car and I can't stop to take him out. Or we go for a walk with the stroller and he wants to have the 5-minute nursing session to doze off... I tried pacified, a bit of tea, finger, talking etc. but he just cries more intensely. It takes 10-15 minutes for him to stop but that's just him giving up and I hate that... (I'm really not a fan of CIO).
Would love to hear what works for you.
I wish I had an answer but I'm in the same position as you.
I wish I had an answer but I'm in the same position as you.
It's much more difficult to go anywhere because of that, right? ... Plus I then have very little time left until the next feed (if the nap is just before that).
Yes and no. I'll feed him before we go out and when we're out, but if driving and the like, I have no choice but to let him CIO. It's just something I've accepted.
@Yana307 I don't nurse to sleep but there are times that S cries and I can't do anything about it for whatever reason. I've slowly come to realize that I can't come to her aid every time she cries because she will never learn to sooth herself. At first I had to keep telling myself it doesn't hurt them for them to cry. In fact it may help them to exert energy that they otherwise can't on their own because they aren't mobile yet. I also had to remember that I cried as a baby/kid and nothing bad happened to me. Trust me, I know it's easier said than done.
I nurse right before bed. When he is basically asleep I bring him to his room. At that point he's maybe awake. I change his diaper which wakes him (though I keep the lights off and just use a small lamp). I put him in his crib so he's half asleep and in a good mood as he has a full belly and clean diaper. I put scout on for bedtime music for 15 and leave the room. This works most of the time! Took a few days for it to work. He'd cry and I'd leave it for 10 max. Or meltdown cry I'd go get him right away. I'd then feed to sleep in our room and put him down asleep. But he started to fall asleep on his own in there after about 5 mins of playing with his toes or looking around.
Naps are the same but he doesn't often take naps tbh
@Ladybug2821 thank you, it makes sense. I'm just hoping that it hurts me more to listen to his crying than it hurts him while crying.
I really think it does hurt us more. It's just our instinct to want to swoop in and save them. It took several STM+ and Dads to tell me this stuff before I started to accept it.
I've officially gone two days without tracking feedings. I go back and forth between feeling worried and feeling freed. Milestones like that also make me feel anxious about time flying by and LO growing like a weed. Feeling emotional tonight!
I have no idea if this belongs in this thread, but here it goes... I sent 17 oz of BM to daycare for 7.5-8 hours today and they told me they had to slow him down so as to not run out and requested I send another bottle. They want a minimum of 20 oz of BM for 8 hours. Is that overkill? He's never had strictly bottles so I have no idea how much he takes. He's a big kid but not huge. And also pumping 20 oz a day is legit work. Ugh. I don't even know what I'm asking anymore.
You were asking if it's overkill, I think Did he have more feedings than usual in that time period? Maybe he was fussy, or needed extra to get to sleep?? It was his first day so maybe they'll learn soon how he likes his pace
@sandnstarsnj per the Kelly Mom website : exclusively breastfed babies take in an average of 25 oz per day between the ages of 1 month and 6 months. Different babies take in different amounts of milk; a typical range of milk intakes is 19-30 oz per day. I think you can assume your son is on the high end as far as consumption goes. So the question is do you think he is getting much more than 10 ozs the remaining time he is outside of day care? If so than maybe 20 ozs at day care is too high. If not than maybe it's the right amount?
What size bottles did you send? Or did you just send a big container? Since your LO nurses so often maybe they can give lots of little bottles? Mine definitely feeds him more than I do at home. I chalked it up to different environment and not being able to devote 20 min to calming him before thinking maybe he's hungry so they likely do a bottle. FWIW my guy gets 3 5oz bottles and then there's an "emergency" 4oz bottle he usually gets too depending on when I pick him up and if he's been fussy or not.
I have no idea if this belongs in this thread, but here it goes... I sent 17 oz of BM to daycare for 7.5-8 hours today and they told me they had to slow him down so as to not run out and requested I send another bottle. They want a minimum of 20 oz of BM for 8 hours. Is that overkill? He's never had strictly bottles so I have no idea how much he takes. He's a big kid but not huge. And also pumping 20 oz a day is legit work. Ugh. I don't even know what I'm asking anymore.
What nipple do you have on the bottle? I heard to use the smallest stage possible (newborn or even preemie) as long as they are on bottles and breastfeeding, so they don't develop a preference for the faster flowing bottles.
Re: All Things Breastfeeding
I imagine it must be tough when you're planning one thing and it doesn't work out. Babies are so finicky sometimes.
Im sorry, I know you're venting and didn't ask for advice, but wondered if youve tried a nipple shield? I dealt with many of the same challenges and tried a nipple shield (love the Medela ones) and it did the trick. I was really down on myself for having to use them at first but whatever makes it easy on both of us!
And like @kvruns once hilariously said--formula isn't battery acid
@zoefer Your issue seems to be more bottle related. Have you tried a different nipple? Or temperature of the milk? I'm not sure who you would contact in that situation but hope it resolves soon. We don't weigh LO so we're in the dark until those monthly appointments. It's kind of nice. One less thing to be consistently worried about.
Welcomed baby girl: 06.10.14
Second pregnancy EDD: 06.16.16 MC: 10.29.15
Welcomed baby boy: 11.25.16
Maybe a couple of pumps throughout the day will keep your supply enough so you can continue to nurse at night?
Welcomed baby girl: 06.10.14
Second pregnancy EDD: 06.16.16 MC: 10.29.15
Welcomed baby boy: 11.25.16
@hoosiermama I haven't tried a nipple shield yet, but maybe that will be next? I think a lot of the reason why I don't try a nipple shield or just completely stop BFing and switch to formula is because there are times she will BF wonderfully. Sometimes we have entire days where BFing goes smoothly (not often), so I feel like she can and will do it, but the stars just have to align I guess. After not nursing all day, we had a wonderful nursing session right before she went to bed tonight ... it's just all so confusing. I think maybe I'll pick up a nipple shield and have it on hand to try during those times when she is refusing.
@kvruns "Formula is not battery acid" made me laugh! Sometimes as moms, we're made to feel like it is though, aren't we?
@erniebernie1 I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one going through this! So annoying, right? My girl is a chunk too, now over 15 pounds. I think she is gaining well (she's going into 9 month clothes now), and she has lots of wet diapers, but I just feel like it's not ok for her to be going 4-5 hours between daytime feedings at 4 months old. It also makes it really hard to get into any sort of rhythm with naps, feedings, etc. because I never know when she will be hungry, when she will be hungry AND also want to nurse, if I should have a bottle warm and ready, if I should pump, etc. She has her 4 month appointment tomorrow morning, so I'll see what her pedi says about it. Good luck to you and your LO!
Thank you so much, everyone, for all your comments. Today was a really hard day, but I'm so glad I have this community here for support
DD had her 4 month appt. yesterday and her pedi wasn't concerned with her going so long in between nursing sessions. Although her growth percentages have gone down, the dr basically said "what I see in front of me is a healthy, happy baby who is growing, so I'm not concerned." That made me feel better. I also noticed on the 4-month print out they gave me that it says to nurse every 4-5 hours, so I guess that's normal? I just remember DS being older before he went that long between feeds? Anyway, she nursed GREAT all day yesterday and is going strong with it today too - yay! I'm really just trying to trust her and respect that if she refuses, she's just not hungry and that's ok. Whew ...
I'm fine with it, I'm not (yet) attempting to change that but I'm wondering what do you do when it's time to nap and you can't do it? For example, when we're traveling by car and I can't stop to take him out. Or we go for a walk with the stroller and he wants to have the 5-minute nursing session to doze off... I tried pacified, a bit of tea, finger, talking etc. but he just cries more intensely. It takes 10-15 minutes for him to stop but that's just him giving up and I hate that... (I'm really not a fan of CIO).
Would love to hear what works for you.
Welcomed baby girl: 06.10.14
Second pregnancy EDD: 06.16.16 MC: 10.29.15
Welcomed baby boy: 11.25.16
Welcomed baby girl: 06.10.14
Second pregnancy EDD: 06.16.16 MC: 10.29.15
Welcomed baby boy: 11.25.16
This works most of the time! Took a few days for it to work. He'd cry and I'd leave it for 10 max. Or meltdown cry I'd go get him right away. I'd then feed to sleep in our room and put him down asleep.
But he started to fall asleep on his own in there after about 5 mins of playing with his toes or looking around.
Naps are the same but he doesn't often take naps tbh
Welcomed baby girl: 06.10.14
Second pregnancy EDD: 06.16.16 MC: 10.29.15
Welcomed baby boy: 11.25.16
Welcomed baby girl: 06.10.14
Second pregnancy EDD: 06.16.16 MC: 10.29.15
Welcomed baby boy: 11.25.16
I think you can assume your son is on the high end as far as consumption goes. So the question is do you think he is getting much more than 10 ozs the remaining time he is outside of day care? If so than maybe 20 ozs at day care is too high. If not than maybe it's the right amount?
What nipple do you have on the bottle? I heard to use the smallest stage possible (newborn or even preemie) as long as they are on bottles and breastfeeding, so they don't develop a preference for the faster flowing bottles.
I found this article to be helpful: https://bfcaa.com/bottle-feeding-basics-how-much/
I send 16 oz a day (4 - 4 oz bottles) with N, and she eats 8-12 oz in 9 hours.
BFP February 2016 Baby Girl born 11/2016
BFP 8/16/2018 EDD 4/29/2019 MMC 10/3/2018
BFP 12/16/2018 EDD 08/26/2019 MC/CP 12/20/2018
BFP 03/28/2019 EDD 12/07/2019 Hoping for our rainbow