My cousin is throwing my baby shower. I'm thinking about having it Thanksgiving day since everyone will be together already. It might work well for my family. Either that or the Saturday of Thanksgiving weekend.
Are you ONLY inviting family? I would not go to a shower held on a holiday. And I would side eye the hell out of it, family or not.
@Gingersnap I have a huge family and ya most of the people I invite will be family with a few close friends. As for friends you're right, I shouldn't do it on Thanksgiving day. I'll ask my friends if they would be available on that Saturday.
@mrsdramak congrats on the little girl!!! And happy birthday!!!!!
I am sure it was brought up (I didn't read everything cause I was over 50 messages behind) and I know what the baby shower board thinks.. But what are everyone's thoughts on baby shower from 2+?
@mrsdramak congrats on the little girl!!! And happy birthday!!!!!
I am sure it was brought up (I didn't read everything cause I was over 50 messages behind) and I know what the baby shower board thinks.. But what are everyone's thoughts on baby shower from 2+?
I am sure it was brought up (I didn't read everything cause I was over 50 messages behind) and I know what the baby shower board thinks.. But what are everyone's thoughts on baby shower from 2+?
We had a boy first and kept all our gear, it was all gender neutral colors. So when we found out we were having a girl #2 my mom threw a small girl item party to help us get ahead on girl clothes and some diapers. No big items were needed or given. We didn't mind that... we are on our 3rd now but youngest will be almost 8 when baby is born, my mom asked about a party because of the time lapse, but we declined the offer because we feel like it's tacky, but secretly (id never hint at it) I wouldn't mind a surprise one lol
I'm not a fan of a shower for anything beyond first baby and I side eye people who have big showers. In my group of friends we have an evening celebrating mom and give small gifts usually an outfit and maybe some diapers. It's usually a surprise for the mom so I won't know if I'm getting one or not but I admit it makes me a little anxious because it's always been drilled into me you get one shower.
I'm not a fan of a shower for anything beyond first baby and I side eye people who have big showers. In my group of friends we have an evening celebrating mom and give small gifts usually an outfit and maybe some diapers. It's usually a surprise for the mom so I won't know if I'm getting one or not but I admit it makes me a little anxious because it's always been drilled into me you get one shower.
@kswiger06 yeah my mom has already offered to throw me a sprinkle but I declined as well. I would feel so awkward and gift grabby because my shower was like a year and half ago. Yikes.
@FishyMom I think it really depends. I don't really care what others do as far a second showers go. I think if it isn't done in your group of friends or family then you should stick with it the usual practice.
My family has a shower for each baby and they have before modern showers were what they are. We are celebrating the pregnancy, the baby-to-be and the mom. Gifts can be anything from things to use during pregnancy, things just for mom or things for the baby.
My family showers are family only events unless someone has asked to come and involve a lot of food and visiting. There is a general start time and people stay as long as they want. (I doubt they were called showers originally) Gifts are given but if someone is having a difficult time it certainly isn't necessary. (It's only on my mom's side. My father's side does not have this tradition and so we do not include them for anything other than a first.)
So I got married in London where my husband was living at the time. It was an extremely small wedding since even my husband's family doesn't live there. This was 2 years ago. My husband didn't receive his immigration until this past April. We knew we wanted to get pregnant as soon as possible 1. Because we're both older 2. I was told I have PCOS and it may take a while. When my husband came, we were planning a wedding reception for later in the year. Thankfully we got pregnant right away and so we're skipping the reception and going right to the shower. I would love to still have a reception but that's just not going to happen. So I don't mind if my family goes all out for the baby shower. Mine is a special case, of course.
I will definitely be declining any second showers or sprinkles.
Personally, for close friends and families, I usually bring a small gift (usually some jammies, a book, etc) when I visit to meet the baby, and I bring a meal.
I'm not a fan of a shower for anything beyond first baby and I side eye people who have big showers. In my group of friends we have an evening celebrating mom and give small gifts usually an outfit and maybe some diapers. It's usually a surprise for the mom so I won't know if I'm getting one or not but I admit it makes me a little anxious because it's always been drilled into me you get one shower.
In my mind, I would LOVE a shower. When I got divorced and we sold our house I got rid of everything from when DD was a baby. Literally everything. So I would love it if I could get all that stuff all over again. But in reality I would feel really awkward and uncomfortable about it so I hope lots of people find my Amazon registry
I wouldn't turn down a sprinkle. But, I threw them for both of my sister in laws, and it was really a small in house thing that was just family. I have friends that offered when I was pregnant in February, so it wouldn't shock me. I am not talking all out catered affair like a first shower would be, but it would be nice to celebrate. And also, it's been 5 years and I got rid of almost everything.
Married - 7/29/06 Ben and Maggie - 4/10/09 Mia - 6/16/11 Surprise! due 2/23/17
I grew up with the notion that you get ONE shower unless there are special circumstances. For example, my aunt had a son in 95, then twin girls in 01 and had a shower for both pregnancies and no one said boo. Another aunt had two girls back to back and then a boy over a decade later. For me 2&3 will be 3.5 years apart so not a huge gap, but I've had friends kind of mention it. That being said, anyone who comes to this hypothetical sprinkle would not have been in our lives prior to the birth of DD2 and my first baby shower was 5 years ago in a different state. We will play it by ear. My work place loves throwing diaper parties regardless of brood number so I'm sure I'll get one of those.
DD1- Aug11 Angel Baby- June13, said goodbye Oct12 DD2- Aug13 DD3- due Feb17
I should clarify that I am in camp no shower. First off I HATE being the center of attention and I don't think it's necessary. My sister had a shower for her second which was only like 1.5 years later. I don't really have a "circle" of friends so I don't have that to go by. What I wouldn't mind is having people over to celebrate the fact we are having another baby with apps and football. But honestly I don't need gifts specially cause we won't know the sex.
I should also say that my Hubby wants me to have one. Ugh...
The whole "we got rid of everything" statement annoys me. So if you don't have anything, go buy it. Having a second shower/sprinkle with the idea of restocking your home with items that were previously (and probably generously) gifted to you the first time comes across as really greedy.
It's not anyone's fault that you gave away your stuff. Purchase what you need yourself.
I'll admit that though I'm really excited for the celebration part of my shower, the stuff acquisition part is slightly uncomfortable to me. When it was going to be normally timed, I wanted to get the big stuff myself first so nobody felt obligated. I don't know if I'll have time now, but it's awkward. If people just get me onesies I'm definitely cool with that. And I absolutely HATE that my host is seeing this as some sort of stuff-acquisition competition. It makes me far less excited for the whole thing.
@BumpasaurusRex, that wasn't exactly what I meant. But I see see what you mean. I am not registering for things or expecting any one to buy me gear. I think I misspoke. Sprinkles in my family were mainly diapers, clothes, pacifiers, blankets. And just a get together with family that gets together all the time to celebrate. Little things. I am actually hoping to borrow most of the baby gear stuff from friends that have offered. And yes, we will buy what we need after that.
An unexpected 4th baby is a very different thing I would guess than many other circumstances here. My first three were very close together. I didn't have anything for my third after twins. I have had several people mention it this time.
Married - 7/29/06 Ben and Maggie - 4/10/09 Mia - 6/16/11 Surprise! due 2/23/17
@BumpasaurusRex that's why I said "in my head" I'd like a shower. Not in reality. My close family will buy us stuff and we'll get the rest. I already bought a Pack N Play and baby swing because they were on sale. Along with cloth diapers. I'll get the stuff. I can 100% promise you I won't have a shower. You can't fault people for unexpected circumstances. I didn't want to get rid of my stuff, I didn't want to sell my house, I didn't want to get divorced. But I happened. So I am back to square one starting from scratch in my new marriage. I can wish I'd get it all, but I'd turn it down if my mom offered a shower. It's two different things.
Two years ago we moved cross country and decided to sell/donate all of our baby stuff given the fact we were "done" after two kids. I've already made a registry but only so I can buy things off of it and I won't be telling anyone about it. I would definitely not accept any offers for showers/sprinkles this time around!
@BumpasaurusRex that's why I said "in my head" I'd like a shower. Not in reality. My close family will buy us stuff and we'll get the rest. I already bought a Pack N Play and baby swing because they were on sale. Along with cloth diapers. I'll get the stuff. I can 100% promise you I won't have a shower. You can't fault people for unexpected circumstances. I didn't want to get rid of my stuff, I didn't want to sell my house, I didn't want to get divorced. But I happened. So I am back to square one starting from scratch in my new marriage. I can wish I'd get it all, but I'd turn it down if my mom offered a shower. It's two different things.
I understand they are two different things and I'd never fault anyone for their circumstances. It's absolutely true that things happen and that we can't predict the future.
Having said that, it doesn't change my opinion that it looks greedy when people use showers as a way to replenish the items they no longer have.
I think when it comes to showers, tale as old as time on here. It just depends on your family, friends, circumstances and traditions within your circle.
Married - 7/29/06 Ben and Maggie - 4/10/09 Mia - 6/16/11 Surprise! due 2/23/17
@BumpasaurusRex that's why I said "in my head" I'd like a shower. Not in reality. My close family will buy us stuff and we'll get the rest. I already bought a Pack N Play and baby swing because they were on sale. Along with cloth diapers. I'll get the stuff. I can 100% promise you I won't have a shower. You can't fault people for unexpected circumstances. I didn't want to get rid of my stuff, I didn't want to sell my house, I didn't want to get divorced. But I happened. So I am back to square one starting from scratch in my new marriage. I can wish I'd get it all, but I'd turn it down if my mom offered a shower. It's two different things.
I understand they are two different things and I'd never fault anyone for their circumstances. It's absolutely true that things happen and that we can't predict the future.
Having said that, it doesn't change my opinion that it looks greedy when people use showers as a way to replenish the items they no longer have.
That part I agree with. It's not the job of my family/friends to replace my stuff. I was just disagreeing with complaining that I got rid of it all in the first place. Because it is something I've been venting about, and it does suck because it was all new and in great shape!
@Xstatic3333 wow! Good for you! I haven't even started my registry. But thanks for the info on doing it online. I was actually going to go into the store thinking that they'd be more helpful. But you're right, they'll probably just pressure me into adding things I don't really need. My sister said she'll help me (she's a veteran with 4 kids and I love all her stuff) but she's on vacation right now. But I can start without her.
@bdesterhouse what kind of liability? Lol. That's stupid AF. I can understand for FTM but after that? They don't trust their patients.
People forget stuff from one pregnancy to the next. The videos go over potential risks and complications to medication, epidural, c sections. That way patients can't come back and say I was never told that this could happen therefore hospital/ Doctor you are liable and now I'm going to sue you. It's really not stupid why they do it. I get why they need to. It's just annoying that you can't opt out of it.
We have two sleeping beauties in heaven. Jack gained his wings on 09/02/2016. Kali gained her wings on 07/28/2015. They will be forever missed.
@BumpasaurusRex I agree, regardless of the circumstances. Everyone has special circumstances. No two situations are identical. I kind of think showers are grabby and weird traditions in the first place, even for a first baby. I refused a bridal shower for my wedding because I was over 30 when boyfriend (now husband) and I moved in together, and we both had two complete households full of stuff to sort through, so we definitely didn't need gifts.
I'll accept a baby shower because it's a good opportunity for my friends and family to get together, although I think we'll have one of those Sip-and-See deals for the baby after she's born instead of a traditional shower. That way, we'll be able to buy all our big stuff for ourselves before the baby comes, and it works better for timing, anyway, because of the February due date. A friend recently had a "stock the library" Sip-and-See, and I thought it was a really classy and cute way to get everyone together but not ask for presents. Nobody minds spending $4 on a children's book.
I think second showers or sprinkles whatever they are called are great IF it's not for gift grabby reasons. Celebrating mom baby and pregnancy is an awesome reason to get together and eat cake and all the fun party food!
I think second showers or sprinkles whatever they are called are great IF it's not for gift grabby reasons. Celebrating mom baby and pregnancy is an awesome reason to get together and eat cake and all the fun party food!
My friends and I have all thrown sprinkles for each other for second children. It's more of a fun time to get together and eat and talk. We give small gifts like clothes and stuff and it's fun
Eh. I don't care what people do. Want to have a second or fourth shower? Go nuts. I'll bring a gift and I won't judge. More power to you, have fun, stock up for baby. Just want gifts? Whatev, that's fine. We all like getting gifts and I think all this Miss Manners "it's just not done that way" stuff is a waste of energy. Strict social rules and judgements make me tired. I have friends who've obviously done showers just for the gifts and I couldn't care less. It's who they are and they're still awesome people, gift-grabby or no. It's not 1950. You do you.
For my part, I hate showers. I'd rather buy all my own stuff than have to be the center of attention and have people looking at me and measuring my bump with toilet paper. It's exhausting trying to say all the right things and send out perfect thank you cards. So I'll skip a second shower, though if you want to bring a gift for babe, I'll accept it gratefully. And take 3 months to send you a thank you card.
I agree with you, @tentacular. Two of my friends are really excited about having a shower for me and I'm not going to say, "no thank you, that would be tacky." If you're offended by the invitation, just decline politely. But the only time I've ever heard this "rule" is on TB - not something that fazes me or anyone I know, either.
I'm having a difficult evening. I was told our family cat had to be put to sleep while I was out of town last week. I've had this cat since he was born. He would have moved with me when my husband and I got married but my dad said no it would be cruel to move him. He was my baby, he was born when I was ten and I helped my mom when he was delivered. My heart feels absolutely broken. He was put to sleep the same week we lost our daughter, just a year later. It feels like I've been sucker punched by life and it sucks. I knew he was close to passing since he was so old and having issues, but I didn't expect it to happen right now nor for it to hurt this bad. He was such a big part of my life and was my rock through so much. He'd always start purring as soon as he'd see me. It's going to feel so weird and empty when I go to my parents now.
We have two sleeping beauties in heaven. Jack gained his wings on 09/02/2016. Kali gained her wings on 07/28/2015. They will be forever missed.
@bdesterhouse I'm so, so sorry. I understand how much it hurts to lose such a big part of your life. I wish there was more anyone could say to make it better. Awkward internet hugs!
Re: Weekly Randoms (8/1)
I would not go to a shower held on a holiday.
And I would side eye the hell out of it, family or not.
I am sure it was brought up (I didn't read everything cause I was over 50 messages behind) and I know what the baby shower board thinks.. But what are everyone's thoughts on baby shower from 2+?
ET 9/10 - transferred 1 perfect 5AA blast
7dp5dt BFP ~~ Beta on 9/19 - 77.4 Beta #2 on 9/21 - 357
Low heartbeat on 10/7 86, lower heartbeat on 10/11 76, no heartbeat 10/14/13. D&C 10/15/13
Tests revealed MTHFR c677t mutation, put on Folgard.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FET #1 1/6/14 - 4BB blast - BFN
Tackfest.
My family has a shower for each baby and they have before modern showers were what they are. We are celebrating the pregnancy, the baby-to-be and the mom. Gifts can be anything from things to use during pregnancy, things just for mom or things for the baby.
My family showers are family only events unless someone has asked to come and involve a lot of food and visiting. There is a general start time and people stay as long as they want. (I doubt they were called showers originally) Gifts are given but if someone is having a difficult time it certainly isn't necessary. (It's only on my mom's side. My father's side does not have this tradition and so we do not include them for anything other than a first.)
When my husband came, we were planning a wedding reception for later in the year. Thankfully we got pregnant right away and so we're skipping the reception and going right to the shower.
I would love to still have a reception but that's just not going to happen. So I don't mind if my family goes all out for the baby shower. Mine is a special case, of course.
Personally, for close friends and families, I usually bring a small gift (usually some jammies, a book, etc) when I visit to meet the baby, and I bring a meal.
Just not accompanied by a shower/ sprinkle....
Big Bro 7/14/13
Little Bro 2/6/17
Ben and Maggie - 4/10/09
Mia - 6/16/11
Surprise! due 2/23/17
I should also say that my Hubby wants me to have one. Ugh...
ET 9/10 - transferred 1 perfect 5AA blast
7dp5dt BFP ~~ Beta on 9/19 - 77.4 Beta #2 on 9/21 - 357
Low heartbeat on 10/7 86, lower heartbeat on 10/11 76, no heartbeat 10/14/13. D&C 10/15/13
Tests revealed MTHFR c677t mutation, put on Folgard.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FET #1 1/6/14 - 4BB blast - BFN
The whole "we got rid of everything" statement annoys me. So if you don't have anything, go buy it. Having a second shower/sprinkle with the idea of restocking your home with items that were previously (and probably generously) gifted to you the first time comes across as really greedy.
It's not anyone's fault that you gave away your stuff. Purchase what you need yourself.
Big Bro 7/14/13
Little Bro 2/6/17
I'll admit that though I'm really excited for the celebration part of my shower, the stuff acquisition part is slightly uncomfortable to me. When it was going to be normally timed, I wanted to get the big stuff myself first so nobody felt obligated. I don't know if I'll have time now, but it's awkward. If people just get me onesies I'm definitely cool with that. And I absolutely HATE that my host is seeing this as some sort of stuff-acquisition competition. It makes me far less excited for the whole thing.
An unexpected 4th baby is a very different thing I would guess than many other circumstances here. My first three were very close together. I didn't have anything for my third after twins. I have had several people mention it this time.
Ben and Maggie - 4/10/09
Mia - 6/16/11
Surprise! due 2/23/17
Having said that, it doesn't change my opinion that it looks greedy when people use showers as a way to replenish the items they no longer have.
Big Bro 7/14/13
Little Bro 2/6/17
Ben and Maggie - 4/10/09
Mia - 6/16/11
Surprise! due 2/23/17
Jack gained his wings on 09/02/2016.
Kali gained her wings on 07/28/2015.
They will be forever missed.
I'll accept a baby shower because it's a good opportunity for my friends and family to get together, although I think we'll have one of those Sip-and-See deals for the baby after she's born instead of a traditional shower. That way, we'll be able to buy all our big stuff for ourselves before the baby comes, and it works better for timing, anyway, because of the February due date. A friend recently had a "stock the library" Sip-and-See, and I thought it was a really classy and cute way to get everyone together but not ask for presents. Nobody minds spending $4 on a children's book.
________________________________________________________
Started TTC #1 November 2015
BFP 6/10/2016 - EDD 2/22/2017
For my part, I hate showers. I'd rather buy all my own stuff than have to be the center of attention and have people looking at me and measuring my bump with toilet paper. It's exhausting trying to say all the right things and send out perfect thank you cards. So I'll skip a second shower, though if you want to bring a gift for babe, I'll accept it gratefully. And take 3 months to send you a thank you card.
Jack gained his wings on 09/02/2016.
Kali gained her wings on 07/28/2015.
They will be forever missed.